


Perfect with You

by Workard



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: After The Storm, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Drama, F/F, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery, Romance, Sexual Content, Shipping, Suspense, Time Travel, explicit - Freeform, pricefield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 00:50:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 212,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5396600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Workard/pseuds/Workard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Nothing that I will become will leave a trail of desperation towards the feet of her and nothing that I have been will be looked upon and thereby sense a hint of my fragile love for her. She was never strong, just accustomed to fear."<br/>Having endured everything that life threw at her while also being forced to make major sacrifices, Max continues to seek comfort in the presence of Chloe. Throughout it all, her blue-haired friend had always stood next to her, proving to each other what they'd be willing to go through to never be separated and such strong emotions are shown to be a stepping-stone towards something more serious. However, making choices that eventually led to the death of many, is not something that Max can simply walk away from. The consequences of her actions will be presented in an unexpected way when she finds out that she is not the only one, who have had to deal with the burden of time-travel powers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Justice

“How about that weird stretch, over to the right?”

 “That’s a chunk of Orion. Probably the most famous constellation”

 “What about that bull looking pattern?”

 “That is in fact Taurus. Which is Latin for “The Bull’”

 “Holy shit, I am starting to get this. How about those stars a little above?”

 “Where?”

 “Riiiight– raise your head. Right there”

 “Oh. That’s just a cluster-fuck of stars”

 Chloe slowly turned her head with an unimpressed look in her eyes.  
“What is that Latin for?” She asked with a sarcastic tone of voice.

 Max looked down on the ground before her, not having the mental capacity come up with a witty response.  
“It’s Latin for ‘a cluster-fuck of stars’” The night-sky above them had been the topic of interest throughout the entirety of their nighttime walk. Even when they walked past a barking dog with a chunk of what appeared to be fresh rat meat in its mouth, the topic remained the distant suns in space. It was remarkable how much of the sky was lit up however. It was a particular quiet and warm night, so it seemed like the perfect time to get out of Chloe’s room and take a nighttime walk.

“It’s very peaceful tonight,” Max vocalized her thoughts, giving in to the urge of breaking the five-second silence after playing a little with her white sleeves that were slightly longer than her arms, due to her borrowing one of Chloe’s hoodies before they went out. A hoodie that Max had never seen her wear before. It was bright white and made of a hard, stretched out fabric, contrary to the black camera she was wearing around her neck with a strap. Max remembered declining Chloe’s suggestion to bring the camera, but for some reason she had insisted.

“Yeah. I figured you’d like it, after all that shit-drama with that douche and gramps” Chloe’s steps became increasingly louder, slightly muffling her words. Chloe herself was wearing her new black-leather jacket, all zipped up to the bottom of her chin and also working some dark-blue jeans, which were on the verge of being uncomfortably tight. While Max was studying her friend a small stone was accidentally kicked a few feet ahead on the sidewalk.

“I am not picking sides here, but honestly, I don’t get why he was so mad at your granddad for wanting an extension on the rent due date” Max felt as if she were speaking in a generic tone of voice. She had only recently gotten some information about the situation, so it was an expected topic to be brought up.

“It’s not the first time I’ve seen him. Effing government sheep. He probably believes that if you’re in a bad spot in life, it was your own choices that brought you there,” Chloe answered with a surprisingly unbiased view.  
“Funny how only people who have a comfortable life have that point-of-view. Stereotypical American mindset…” she continued with a more channeling opinion.  
  
“Are you seriously okay with me staying with you guys during the vacation? I didn’t know it would cause trouble. I can start paying rent?” The thought suddenly hit Max, that she might have actually been the cause of all the drama.  
  
“Don’t worry about it. It was my suggestion after all and we’ll be fine. It’s not like you’re eating all our food and smashing our furniture, it’s just that douche that doesn’t know how to be a human being” Chloe quickly and effectively put Max’s mind at ease to some extent. There was still a lingering feeling of guilt hanging around her however.

“What about your granddad? He seems chill… He handled the situation like a pro” Max tried to tone the questioning down, but had trouble thinking of things to say. It was easier to just wander down the path that was placed ahead of you anyway.

“It’s fucking weird. He has been a Christian his whole life and always made decisions with God in his mind, but when it comes to the people around him… I don’t know. He told me that the way he chooses to live his life, shouldn’t affect the way other people live their lives,” Chloe shrugged and tilted her head slightly to the left.  
“Pretty badass quote if you ask me”

 Max looked down on her worn out sneakers and decided to keep wandering.  
“But wasn’t your dad a Christian as well? I think I heard him quote a few things before” Max often tried to be subjective when it came to religion and beliefs, even though she had a few opinions herself.

Chloe sniffled before placing her hand on top of the dark-blue wool cap she was wearing and pulled it down; making it cover the entirety of her forehead, hiding every blue bang that often escaped the caps capacity.  
“It’s sort of different, but the same. This is just my opinion so don’t get all pissy, but get ready for a truth-bomb,” Chloe sent of a smirk as she looked to her left in the direction of a lit up streetlight.  
“Most Christians has their religion to kinda make sense of life, or at least help them guide them through their life. If the bible says that gays are bad, some people blindly follow that idea, because it doesn’t affect them directly. They’re happy straight people, so why should they care… if the bible says that atheist are to be converted to Christianity, then fuck me if some of them won’t walk around spouting nonsense about how God will save everyone from their sins and shit. And why shouldn’t they? If they believe God will look upon them with fucking glee if they follow his words, they don’t have to think twice. It doesn’t have any further consequences for them,” Chloe took a short pause to catch her breath and think about the argument she was about to make. Max simply stayed quiet and listened interested, as she knew Chloe often had some surprisingly interesting– yet harsh- way of seeing things, and she did seem to have thought about this.  
“It’s only when the bible says something that doesn’t fortune them, that they start to interpret the words differently. Oh, it’s nearly impossible for rich people to get into heaven? That must be a fucking metaphor. There is no way that I would have to give up my precious money to get into God’s temple. Remember when we had slaves? What’cha think the bible has to say about that? It literally says that it’s okay to have slaves, as long as they’re foreigners, but everyone ignores that… My point is, they handpick the things that the bible says to benefit themselves. Their morals have to be in line with the freaking rules the bible shits out, or else they either ignore it or give it a different meaning”

As Max looked at Chloe, she could see that she herself, thought that it was daring thing to say. She had to admit that some of the things sounded thoughtful, but the point might had come better across if it was worded differently and made clear that the statement only applied to a very small amount of people, rather than all.

“That is not to say, that I don’t understand that reasoning. If you followed the bible completely, you would most likely be sent to jail in the matter of seconds, because you killed some dude that used God’s name in vain or something. That’s why I like my gramps belief. He doesn’t believe in the bible… why should I believe in a bunch of stories that was passed around thousands of years ago, he’d say”

It was noticeable how the rather serious topic was close to reaching its end. Chloe sighed out the last few words “But he believes in God. He believes something greater than him is watching over him… and I honestly like that idea”

Max stared at her friend for a couple of seconds, wondering how to start her response. She had never thought Chloe had such direct opinions about the matter.

_It must be because of her granddad and David. They probably argued about something similar in the past, so she probably felt forced to have an opinion on the matter as well, in order to feel relevant to the situation. Or maybe because of what happened… she feels lost?_

“Wow Chloe. Never thought you even cared about religion,” Max had to admit, actually feeling slightly baffled that she hadn’t seen that side of Chloe before.

“I don’t really” Chloe was quick to answer as if she was expecting Max to say those exact words.  
“I just look up to gramps. David often tried to shove religion down my throat, so I kind of associated religion and God with anger and annoyance. I know he had good intentions, but gramps showed me that he uses religion to make the world seem less frightening. Which is an ability most people would like to have I imagine,” she let out, almost giving up halfway.

A few moments passed, with the only sound being a flickering streetlight nearby.  
“I’m sorry Max; I didn’t mean to get weird. You’re just the only one who will actually listen to my pend up frustration,” Chloe eventually said, placing both her hands down into her pocket and looking away at no particular interest.  
  
Max knew that Chloe always shied away when she was paying even the slightest compliment to her. She paid no mind to it, as she actually found it rather endearing.  
“I think a lot of people would like to hear your thoughts, you just need to express that serious side of yourself more often” as soon as Max said those words, she recalled she had said a very similar thing before. Though Max did often give Chloe advice, she had been trying to become more aware of not sounding like a caring mother.

“How about you fuck off?” Chloe chuckled while turning her attention towards her friend with a pleasant smile.

_Ahh, friendship._

“Or you can just continue to be a mean blueberry,” Max responded quietly, but with an equally wide smile.  

“Shut up with whatever nonsense you’re cooking up and look up into the sky!” Chloe suddenly exclaimed excitedly while grabbing Max’s arm.

Shaking her head slightly while blinking a few times, Max felt surprised by the sudden request, but did as her friend asked. However, just as expected, the sky looked the same. Indeed, it was beautiful with the dark-blue color and shiny stars scattered around. Nevertheless, there was no spaceship flying around. No comet about to crash down. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“See it?” Chloe whispered, almost as if she was keeping a secret.

Max turned her head to look at her friend who looked like a child who just took her first bite into a candy-bar.  
“All I see are your breathtaking eyes,” Max let out with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

“For the love of God, Max,” Chloe sighed, clearly amused.

“Don’t use God’s name in vain,” Max was quick to respond, as she suddenly could feel her mind getting tired.

“For the love of fucking booty,” Chloe changed her response, giving her friend a slight push.  
“The stars” she continued.  
“Directly above us. The stars spell out M-A-X… Max!”

Max felt confused, as if she had just awoken from 20 hours sleep. Once again, she looked up into the sky, paying close attention to the placement of the stars. A good few seconds passed and she was yet to see anything that looked like any letter whatsoever.  
“You crazy dude,” Max said with a low voice as she looked at the girl beside her with a hazy look.

“No, I– goddammit. Give me your camera,” Chloe scootered around Max, gently slapping her around her shoulders and arms for whatever reason. From an outside perspective, it looked like Chloe had reached the peak of drunkenness while Max had just finished a clean blunt. However, Max was simply tired and Chloe was simply bat-shit crazy.

“Alright, alright, stop hitting me,” Max almost whined as she took a hold of the black strap in order to lift it over her head and give it to her energetic friend.

At the very moment that the camera was in Chloe’s possession, she looked up at the sky to confirm the stars were still there. Apparently they were, as Chloe sat down in front of Max before in fact lying down on her back on the sidewalk. It seems as if she wanted the perfect shot.  
“Okay, look into the lens,” Chloe requested while holding the camera in front of her right eye, pointing upwards.

“You’re like a Japanese tourist,” Max sighed before looking into the camera with dull eyes but a bright smile.

“Wooow. Racist much?” Chloe chuckled as she shuffled around on the ground, trying to get into the proper position.  
“Too bad you’re not wearing a skirt,” she said before stopping her movements and placing her finger gently on top of the shutter release.  
“Could get the perfect panty shot” and just as those words were out of her mouth, a quick flash appeared, lighting up Max’s wide grin, her glistering eyes and her faint freckles. Even though she had gotten used to it, Max had to blink a few times due to the flash of bright light.

“Come on, don’t be such a dikfor,” Chloe let out while rolling from one side to another to get enough momentum to push herself up from the ground.

“What?” Max questioned, feeling as if the last word was just random mumbling.

“Dikfor,” Chloe repeated, as she finally was able to get on her feet.

“What’s a dikfor?” Max asked, thinking it was some slang word or something.

“Dude, if you don’t know by now, you never will” and then it became obvious. Even before Chloe pulled off a proud smile, Max could see obvious trap she had walked into. Even worse, she had heard the dumb joke before… it just slipped out.

“God is going to strike you with lighting for that one"

Chloe looked as if she had tattooed the words “Master of Jokes” onto her forehead, as she kept looking smog as a hell, refusing to let Max wash away her success. Sounds of footsteps became louder, making both the girls look up. A man in his late twenties, wearing a black jacket going down to the top of his knees– similar to a trench coat, but of a thicker material- was walking at the other sidewalk in the opposite direction. He held his shoulders close to his head while having his hands down into his pockets. He looked like he was lost in own thoughts as he kept his attention on the ground below him; only when he was just besides them did the man look up. He had messy, shoulder-long hair, with a dark-brown color. It was too dark to make out much else, but for a single second, he stared directly into Max’s eyes with an empty look before looking back down at the ground again. It wasn’t long before he was out of sight behind them.

“Can I just please see the picture?” Max sighed heavily, resisting the urge to plant her face into the palm of her hand.

Chloe took a while to answer, as she looked into her friend's eyes with her lips locked in an upwards arc.  
“First, you have to admit that I am the king,” she looked surprisingly serious and further considering, revealed that she probably was.

“Don’t you mean the queen?” Max had no more sighs left in her body and was now left with a lazy mind and body that could barely mumble out words.

“King” Chloe stood her ground. The gentle breeze was making her blue bangs sway slightly, exposing both her eyes clearly, showing off her confident look. If Max’s wasn’t so tired, she would have done some mental considering regarding her desires when she noticed the girl before her with this great detail.

“Just… give it” Max had to keep herself from yawning.

“Admit it”

“No. Give it”

“Kiiing”

“Give iiit!” Max suddenly took a step closer to her friend and reached out for the camera, but Chloe reacted quickly and managed to take a step back before her devilish hand took ahold of her precious possession.

“Say it!” Chloe demanded with a soft laugh.

“No!” Max denied as she took another swift step closer, trying to grab the camera again.

“Wah!” Chloe let out, evading once more. These continuous actions let to Max having to chase Chloe around in the street; both of them laughing, doing everything in their power to get their will. The next couple of minutes was spent with Max playfully chasing her friend, having a wide smile on her face as it reminded her of when they were kids. Of a simpler time. No drama. Just friends… maybe even more.


	2. Check Mark

“Drop the gun!”

Now here they were. Trying to reminisce about that one night, but failing to avert their eyes from the body lying lifelessly next to the distressed man.

“DROP THE FUCKING GUN!” He yelled loud enough for Max to snap out of her mind and look back up. To look into the barrel of a loaded Glock pistol. His eyes were piercing and his hands were shaking, but did his best to hold firmly onto the weapon he had in his right hand. Never had Max managed to analyze so many details in just a split-second. The creaking the trees made when a hard wind passed by. The blood slowly escaping the wound of the body, painting the grass red next to him. The open area they were standing, bringing a sense of Agoraphobia. She could even see Chloe who stood to her left, but failed to hear a single word from her. Never had the silence from her blue-haired friend made her more nervous. It was a struggle to let go of the only protection she felt she had, but she finally managed to let loose her grip around the revolver and let it drop to the ground before her. Max could see that the man reacted, but kept pointing his own gun at eyesight with Max. He was shaking more than before while standing several feet away from Max and Chloe. These factors made the possibility of him missing somewhat considerable if he dared to take the shoot, but it was a risk not worth taking.

“I never meant for this to happen…” Chloe eventually whispered out with a shaking in her voice, yet her body remained ever so still. She was numb from the fear, or perhaps from seeing the consequences that these immediate actions had caused.

“Shut up!” The man quickly aimed the gun at Chloe, but within the very second, he just as quickly pointed it back to Max, giving away what he believed to be the biggest threat. It was not gun… he knew about Max’s abilities. About her power to rewind time. He did not want to take any risks.

“Ethan…” Max tried to speak out in hope of calming the young man, but other than his name, there were no words that came out. Instead, she looked precautionary into his eyes. It was difficult to tell that he had brown eyes, as his pupils were dilated to an exceptional amount, and if that was due to the lack of light in the cold evening or because his body was in a panic state, was hard to tell.   Ethan noticed Max looking at him and decided to open his eyes slightly more, sending a look of concern and regret. He seemed just as scared as Max and Chloe, but did a better job at hiding it. It was inevitable that Max’s eyes began watering. However, just as they did, Ethan blinked once, ripping away his look of concern and replacing it with a look of anger. He stared dead at Max with one of his eye being partly hidden by his messy, dark-brown hair.

“Why did you shoot him?” Ethan attempted to speak out with a calm voice, refusing to advert his eyes. He looked tired, with small bags under his eyes and the dark stubble across his face.

Max slowly looked to her left, seeing Chloe’s right hand that had a drip of blood working its way down her index finger, twitching every time she took a breath. Her black shirt was nearly spotted as a pattern of dirt had dried into the fabric. Her blue-hair looked faded in the brim light shining down upon them and her face was pale– almost completely white- with her lips showing a bright blue color. She could see she was about to break free from her numbness; a scenario Max silently begged not to happen, but it could not be stopped.

“Why the fuck do you think?! It was either him or us!” Chloe yelled out angrily, with small amounts of saliva escaping her mouth. She moved her head forward, almost threatening the man who was holding a gun.

“Did I fucking ask you!?” Ethan responded with hostility, but managed not to make the same mistake twice and kept aiming the gun at Max.  
“There was no attempt to kill either of you!” He continued yelling.  
“It was not either you!... or him,” Ethan’s voice nearly faded away.

“You laid out the options! Just because we chose something you didn’t plan for, doesn’t mean that it wasn’t your own fault!” Chloe was quick to respond, but it was a mistake to lay out these harsh words at the given time.

If Max’s mind wasn’t racing, she would have begged for Chloe to keep quiet. Hell, she would have demanded it with no hesitation- the situation was dangerous as is; provoking Ethan would only make it worse.

“We could have had so much more,” Ethan whispered to himself as his lower lip was twitching.  
“She is always sleeping,” he spoke quietly until he tensed his left fist and shook his head once, making his bangs pan to the left.  
“This was not how it was supposed to go down,” Ethan finally snapped back into the real world and paid close attention to Max.  
Reaching his hand into his back pocket, he looked away for a single second, but neither of the girls dared to seize the opportunity.  
“Unless you both want to fall to the ground with a bullet carved into your fucking skulls,” Ethan continued with an aggressive tone as he pulled out something from his pocket.  
“You’re going to go back in time,” he paused as he held a photograph out in front of him, showing it to Max.  
“With the help of this photo,” his hands were shaking and even though it was dark, Max could quickly recognize the photo he was holding in his hand. A picture showing Max, standing outside in the afternoon with stars in the background. The picture Chloe had taken of Max three days ago, before all of this had started.

The chorus of a song that represented the last three days would always be “He knew too much”  
It was obvious what he asked of Max and every single rushing mind in the area knew it, but with a shaking in her voice, Max swayed to the right and let out a question. “What do you mean?”

Chloe silently supported Max’s bluff, but even she knew that it wouldn’t pass.

“You know damn well what I mean,” his voice rose slightly.  
“Use the picture to go back these 3 days… make it as if nothing had happened” Ethan presented the image more vigorously, signaling that he wanted Max to grab it.

There was no reason to act ignorant; Ethan knew everything there was to know about Max’s abilities. He might even have known more than Max knew herself.

“What will happen then?” She hesitated to take a step forward, feeling as if the grass around her was holding her in place. The air had become denser, thick with suspense, making it a struggle to take a single breath.

“I have no reason to answer that. You have no right to ask that!” Ethan yelled in frustration, only wanting to redo his failures.

“She has every right to ask that!” Chloe suddenly broke in, but kept her ground.  
“You stalked us for over three days! You threatened Max several times and played these psychotic mind games with us, all because you are scared of Max’s powers! Why should we believe that all that, wouldn’t repeat itself?” She finally paused, but at the very moment Chloe could see Ethan was about to respond, she continued, “You’re fucked up! YOU have the power to rewind time, just as Max do! Maybe you can’t travel through images or whatever-the-fuck, but what makes her a threat to you, when you’re are in the exact same situation as her?!” Not even a second passed before Ethan quickly looked to his right, staring into Chloe’s eyes, but kept the gun aimed at Max.

“I NEVER WANTED THESE POWERS!” Ethan nearly screamed, twitching his finger around the trigger of the gun.  
“NO one should have this amount of power! It’s not natural! I don’t know why it doesn’t freak you the fuck out that your friend can bend time, chaining the course of fate! Every time she uses her powers, she creates a new line of fate for every single being… and so do I. But you’re wrong. I’m not scared of these powers, I’m scared of the person having these powers and not knowing how to use them. Not being able to make the proper choices. Max’s inability to do so, have resulted in hundreds of deaths, and it will not stop… Hell, JUST LOOK AT MY FUCKING BROTHER LYING DEAD BESIDE ME!” Not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of his arms and hands. Max almost jumped up every other second, seeing as the trigger kept getting pushed inwards.

“Why don’t you just fucking shoot her then, huh?! If she is such a danger to the world because of her powers, then why don’t you just end it now and pull the fucking trigger?!” Chloe responded with a fierce voice, lifting up her arm.

“For fucks sake Chloe!” Max interrupted as she could almost feel the ghostly bullet passing through her.

Ethan looked back at Max and stared at her for a good 5 seconds, as if he was considering it.

“Just… shut up. Shut the FUCK UP!” He shook his head with vivid movements before walking forwards towards Max with quick steps.

“It’s not a matter of her using or not using her powers; it’s a matter of HOW she uses her powers! You cannot ignore that she has the gift to save lives. She can prevent traumatizing events, making a family fall apart… but so far, she has only fucked everything up. So unless the last thing you want to hear is a bullet being fired from the barrel of a gun,” he said with an aggressive tone of voice.   
“I suggest you BOTH shut up and do as I say. You don’t have any options here, you’re only stalling and I am SICK of it!”   
  
When Ethan was eventually only a few feet in front of Max, she looked at the collar of his black jacket, if only to keep her mind somewhat occupied.   
  
“Take it,” he said with a quiet voice whilst showing the picture in his left hand.   
  
Max quickly looked upwards, trying to interpret his facial expressions. His lips were dry and he was sweating to the point of his bangs sticking to his forehead, but most importantly, his eyes were closed for some reason. Only a second after, Max looked down at the picture presented in his hand. She felt as if she reached out to grab it, but neither of her arms moved. She was locked in place, her body unwilling to move. 

“Don’t do it Max…” Chloe said when she picked up on Max’s signals of worry.   
“This fucker is too scared to shoot anyone. Let’s just get out of here,” she continued with a confident voice while Ethan kept his eyes closed, barely moving an inch. Chloe had managed to catch Max’s attention, as she looked into the eyes of her blue-haired friend.   
“We’ll go back to my place and my grandad will reheat some pizza, and we’ll watch a marathon of crappy movies. Like we used to do,” Unfortunately, the last sentence revealed a tremble in her voice.

The scenario was easy to imagine and was close to bringing Max to a state of serenity, but it was unlikely that any of that would happen now and they were both well aware of it. As Max took her attention away from her friend, she noticed that Ethan had silently stretched out his right arm, now aiming the gun directly at Chloe. His fingers were slowly pressing down the trigger, so much so that it was unbelievable that a shot hadn’t been fired yet.

“I’ll do it!” Max hurried to say as she could almost hear the future sound of a gun being fired.   
“Shit!” She let out involuntarily while pressing her eyelids close.

No one said a word as Ethan took a few seconds to lower his right hand, before Max managed to take a hold of the photograph. She studied it for a brief moment, paying special attention the stars in the background as she remembered Chloe saying something about her name being spelled in the stars. However, she still failed to see it, but what she did see was the smile she was wearing in the picture. It was odd, but Max felt as if her facial expression revealed that she was looking down on Chloe. A subtle blush, hazy eyes and just… everything.

“I don’t care what you do after you’ve traveled back,” Ethan broke the silence.   
“But it will not be over. I will teach you about morals, ethics, justice and revenge” he finished with a confident, yet angry tone.

A chilling wind passed by as Max looked at the gun Ethan was holding.

“I can’t focus when there is a gun so close to me,” she let out, subtly requesting for him to take a few steps back, but the response she got was not what she expected.

“Look at Chloe,” Ethan responded with a quiet, yet demanding voice.

“Why?” Max automatically asked.

“She calms you down,” Ethan said as if he knew this for a fact; his voice was confident and sincere. Nevertheless, he was not mistaken and she eventually did as she was told. She looked to her left and was met with two blue eyes looking back at her. Max emptied her mind as she kept her focus on those eyes, feeling the anxiety slowly being brought down.

“Tell the past me everything… she will help you out,” Chloe made a sorrowful smile as she said this.

Max kept silent, but sent a subtle nod before turning her attention back towards the photograph and began focusing. Though her body was still showed signals of fear– remembering how long it had been since she had used her powers- it wasn’t long before the image began shaking slightly while the colors began being blurred out. The feeling was familiar, but less welcoming. A drowned out snap passed through her ears, just as everything went white. …

“Come on, don’t be such a dikfor,” a female voice sounded as Max kept her eyes closed for a couple of seconds.

A few shuffling sounds was heard as she noticed the short-lasting headache was gone, making her open up her eyes. Everything seemed bright, but it was luckily dark so it didn’t take a strain on her. The first thing she noticed was two street-lights standing close by each other, lightning up the side-walk and most of the cemented road.

“A dikfor is the worst,” she repeated the word, trying to make Max question the peculiar sentence.

Unfortunately, she was still in a state of chock and failed to amuse her friend by falling into the trap once more.

“Chloe…” Max whispered out as she looked to her right, seeing her blue-haired friend looking carefree with a smile. However, at the moment Chloe laid eyes upon Max’s worried face, her smile faded.

“You alright?” She asked, gently placing her left hand on Max’s back.

“No,” She responded in an instant with a flat voice.

“Tummy ache or time-travel business?” Chloe questioned, quickly picking up the signals.

It was quite outstanding how well Chloe could read Max’s face; granted, there had been similar situations in the past, but it was still a surprise that she was able to guess the source of the problem in mere seconds.

“The latter,” Max answered with a downhearted voice trying to make a crooked smile, but failed.

Chloe looked at her for a few seconds with slightly tilted eyebrows and a serious expression, all while she kept her hand on Max’s back, slowly stroking it with her thumb.   
“Let’s go back,” Chloe suggested rather hastily, but she knew well enough that something was wrong.

Just as Max opened her mouth to respond, sounds of footsteps passed through the wide road with an echo. Max heard it before Chloe did, but only because she was expecting it. For the very same reason, she kept her focus on the ground. Neither Chloe nor Max said a word as a man walked past them both on the opposite sidewalk. It was with the feeling of irritation and anger that Max briefly looked up to take a look. He looked back, holding his shoulders close to his head with both his hand in separate pockets. This would be the first time in this dimension that Max would see Ethan. A quick rush of gripping sensations passed through her, making her tense her body; unwillingly sending the man a look of fury. Ethan paid close attention to Max’s expression and simply smiled crookedly as he pulled out something from his right pocket, but before Max could see what the item was, he had walked too far ahead and faintly disappeared in the dark.

“Take my hand,” Chloe requested, seeing how Max was still shaking.

It was hardly necessary, but Max made no attempt to deny the request as she slowly placed her hand onto the hand Chloe presented. With the perfect amount of pressure, Chloe began squeezing Max’s palm before she began pulling gently. Max took a breath as she took a step forward so she could follow her friend closely.

“Was it bad?” Chloe asked without looking back as she continued to lead her friend back home.

In the first couple of seconds, there was no response. All the sounds had been shut out and Chloe’s footsteps were so light that not even the comfort of the trampling could soothe her. A nerve in Max’s neck felt as if it was bending down, making her eyes water. She tried her best to hold it in, but an involuntary weep was pushed out. Chloe didn’t say anything, neither did she look back at her, instead she pulled a little harder, dragging her close as she turned around, leading Max directly into the embrace of her friend. Chloe’s free hand was quick to be placed on the back of Max’s head, gently placing it into the top of her shoulder. It was almost as a bubble was created around them, blocking out sounds and the cold wind as Max lashed her left arm around Chloe and began sobbing.


	3. Scapegoat

The cold wind was finally replaced with the warmth of the radiator inside the house in which Chloe was now living. Despite there being two floors– similar to the old house- it was quite small, and since Max had been sleeping over for 5 days in a row now, it had been a little confined, but Chloe’s grandad never seemed to mind and it was understandable that Chloe needed the company. The two girls let go of each other’s hands before Max went on to massage her face gently, hoping that it wasn’t obvious to see that she had been crying. Both of them had expected the living room to be empty, given that it was just pass midnight, but when they heard the TV making low-quality noises, it became clear that Chloe’s grandad– Alfred- was sitting at the edge of a couch, with a lost expression on his face. He held an unopened packet of peanuts in his left hand as the remote control was lying close to his right hand. He was wearing a checkered blouse with all the buttons being closed, almost hiding the entirety of his neck. It was no lie that he was a little chubby, but he wore it with the classic ‘caring grandad’ look, giving the full effect by the thin hair on the top of his balding head and the thick, dark-yellow glasses.

“Hey gramps” Chloe greeted with a generic tone.

With slow movements, Alfred turned his head and looked at his granddaughter for a while before sending off a smile. “Hey there. Some walk you two had,” he let out with a deep voice, placing the packet of peanuts on the table in front of him. Max hid a little behind her friend as she had never actually had an extended conversation with Alfred and even though he seemed like a nice guy, she felt that Chloe’s close connection with him was something to be observed and not something to participate in.

“Yeah, I-“ Chloe took a quick look at Max, pondering about a few things.  
“It’s was nice out,” She quickly responded to her grandad before she turned her whole body towards her friend.

“Are you in danger?” She whispered uninhibited while bending slightly down.

Max pressed her a fingernail into her arm as she took a breath.  
“No, I- I don’t think so,” she responded, letting her blue eyes sway from right to left.

“I want to talk with gramps just for a second. Think you’ll be fine in my room or do you need me?”

It was a tough choice Chloe presented, but purely out of courtesy, Max tilted her head slightly to the left before giving a reassuring smile. “It’s fine. I’ll just trash your room until you’re finished”  
Chloe placed her hand on Max’s shoulder and gave her a slight nod, not failing to return a heart-felt smile. It wasn’t long before Max walked through the living room, keeping the smile until she was half-way up the stairs. _Private chatter, I assume…_

Chloe checked her pockets just before taking off her black jacket and carelessly throwing it onto the nearby hanger. Alfred could see Chloe’s intentions and was quick to mute the TV before silently offering Chloe to sit next to him, and even though she had her eye on the chair facing the TV; she accepted and sat next to her granddad on the faded-green couch.

“Wanna talk about the various types of being a douche again?” Alfred had a grin on his face, referring to a previous conversation they had.

With a chuckle, Chloe adjusted her position before leaning back onto the back of the couch.  
“Not enough time,” she responded, taking a quick peek at the TV, seeing a middle-aged man behind a desk, calming mouthing muted words.  
“I talked with Max about religion when we were walking outside,” she began, paying attention to Alfred’s reaction though they were none to analyze. He simply stayed quiet and waited for her to continue. “About the rules and shit that the bible says any Christian should follow,” barely even getting through the sentence, Alfred interrupted.

“Almost exclusively nonsense,” he said with a flat expression.

“That’s pretty much what I said,” Chloe admitted as she gently lifted her right shoulder.

“And how did Max take that?” he asked, seemingly quite interested.

Chloe looked down onto her knees for a couple of seconds. “She didn’t really share her opinion, but she didn’t seem to mind it… even though I got carried away”

“She’s a nice girl,” Alfred suddenly let out before clearing his throat.

With a subtle smirk, Chloe looked back at the TV, but paid no attention to the images on the screen.  
“Yeah,” she responded with a sigh. The living room felt ever so open, making it difficult to not consider the chances of someone listening in. It was connected with the kitchen and there were four additional openings surrounding them.

“But know that however you interpret the meaning of the bible, whether it be a book of truth, a guide or just a bunch of metaphors, you should respect how people find comfort in such things. Only say stupid shit like I do, with people you trust”

Chloe paid close attention to his words, feeling slightly regretful at how she rambled on about it to her friend. She tried to discard that thought however and gave a quick nod.  
“Okay!” Chloe impulsively spoke louder while looking up, almost as if she felt nervous.  
“In the eyes of God: Stealing. Good or bad?” She was quick to ask.

“Bad, unless it necessary for your survival” and Alfred was just as quick to answer.

“Drinking?”

“No problem” Alfred answered, not minding Chloe’s random chatter game.

“Donating to poor people, instead of the church?” She continued.

“Good, depending on what the church plans to do with the money”

“Being gay?” She twitched.

It was almost as a sudden stop to avoid an accident as the silence spread throughout the room.  
Chloe closed her eyes and began breathing through her mouth, feeling her heart speeding up. Alfred didn’t flinch, all while Chloe was tensing every muscle in her body, trying to discard every thought that entered her mind. The light from the TV-screen seemed to fade out and the temperature felt as if it was raised an uncomfortable amount.

“She’s a nice girl,” Alfred eventually said, almost in the same tone of voice as before, but as Chloe looked up, it was revealed that he had an accepting smile painted on his lips. Chloe looked a little longer, leaning her body forward; placing her elbows on her knees and collecting her hands, letting her fingers intertwine.

“Yeah,” she looked back down.

 _I could really use a drink_  
Up in Chloe’s room; Max was taking light steps in a pattern that had slowly become repetitive.

_I really couldn’t actually. I don’t drink… often._

She lifted her hands up to her face and began fist punching her jaw, but keeping the impact at a minimum level. Her thoughts were wandering wherever they pleased in an attempt to hide away her anxiety. Her body had slowly calmed down, but being alone in a small room made her heart speed up.

_Music?_

Ideas popped into her head with no further context than the word itself.

_Games?_

Trying to figure out what to spend her energy on, she had broken free from the pattern and had to instinctively avoid the corner of Chloe’s bed.

_Read?_

Her eyes nearly shot up as she did a twirl on her right foot, making her face the table in front of the window on the wall which was providing no light what so ever. The only light-source was currently Chloe’s floor lamp that she had used during the winter; it was however, powerful enough to light up most of the room, only missing a few corners. Granted, the room was a little smaller than what she had come accustomed to, but it looked surprisingly similar due to Chloe’s decorations. There were posters taped to the grey walls, a substantially big closet was connected to the left wall, a big bed was placed at the end of the room on the right side and then there was the table with random junk. It all suited the “Chaos in order” theme Chloe had going in her room, with clothes and comic books scattered randomly around.  
Max could feel her brown hair tickling the bottom of her neck just before she did a quick shake with her head, but only making it worse by bringing her bangs in front of her head. She made no effort to correct her mistake and instead placed the palm of her left hand on the table, looking at the closed notebook lying under a black scarf. Picking up the piece of fabric, the sound of a door being opened made Max lock her hand, holding the scarf tight in her palm as she turned to her right. With fluid movements, a girl walked in, wearing an expression of doubt until she noticed Max holding the black scarf rather high into the air, making her eyes open up and her interest peak.

“What ehh,” Chloe did not need to complete a sentence for the question to become fully detailed.

“I was just removing it. It was lying on top of my notebook” Max spoke quickly, practically feeling as if she had to defend her actions.

Chloe took a few steps closer after closing the door behind her. A smirk appeared, but quickly faded on her pale lips. “It’d look good on you,” was the only thing she said as she continued walking forwards, towards her flustered friend.

“It’s yours,” Max responded impulsively as she got control of her body and placed the scarf back from where she had grabbed it.

“Would only make it look better,” Chloe kept her woeful expression as she was now only two steps away from her friend, yet dared to take another. The end of her shoes tapped softly onto the carpet floor and made a tranquil sound. Max nearly prepared for the impact of her friend, just before Chloe stopped; now standing noteworthy close to her friend. The shy girl let her arms fall down her sides, wondering if she should say something, if Chloe expected her to lay out a sentence that satisfied the unknown curiosity. However, words became insignificant as Chloe lifted her right hand and moved it up to Max’s forehead, removing the brown bangs from her face.  
“You alright?” she asked with a gentle tone, holding her hand on the side of her forehead for a single second longer.

“Yes,” Max said with a flat voice. Her response was confound; even her mind expected her to answer the exact opposite. As if the answer was meant to be a clear no, but something made her change that in an instant.

“No” the word came out, but from the mouth of her tender friend.  
“No you’re not,” Chloe said, removing her hand from Max’s forehead and letting it drop nonchalant and hushed.


	4. Pallet Talking So Delicately

A hazy mind led to an uneasy presence, something felt as if it was bending inside Max’s body, a nerve stretching all throughout her chest. “What did you talk with Alfred about?” Max asked in a calm voice, trying her best not to make it sound hostile.

“Nothing that’s important now,” Chloe stretched her neck as she turned her body to the right and backed a little away from her friend.  
“Can you tell me what is going on? How far back did you travel?” She asked while looking out the window.

“Since it’s past midnight, it would have been around 3 days,” Max had thought about it herself, resulting in the answer coming out with ease.

“3 fucking days…” Chloe whispered while gently shaking her head.  
“What happened?” She asked shortly after, despite the fact she had more specific questions in mind.

Max began to feel the heat around her arms, but kept the bright-white hoodie on. She knew this was going to be a long explanation and the uncomfortableness had already begun.  
“Let’s sit down,” Max suggested as she began walking backwards towards the bed behind her before sitting down on the edge.

“I need to stand up for a while if you don’t mind,” Chloe said despondently without moving.

Max paid no mind to it, as she was already thinking of how to start off the story.  
“After we took that walk that we just… took” Max was already having a hard time, trying to explain it in a simple way. She needed to point a few things out– things that Chloe already knew, but was needed to be said to establish the circumstances.  
“When I travel back in time I create a new timeline, so everything I am about to tell you, happened in another dimension or whatever we should call it,” she spoke quickly, just wanting to get it out of the way.

“Yeah, I am aware,” Chloe responded, sounding impatient.

“The morning after that night, we went to the mall, since you said you needed nail polish remover. Sephora I think the brand was”

“Shit. I do need nail polish remover” Chloe broke in, placing her right hand onto the table.

“A man in his late twenties came up to us and he began asking me if I was Max. The girl that went to Blackwell Academy and survived the storm… he sounded like a pretty normal guy, but I was surprised that some guy in Idaho knew about me though. Not much happened, until the day after when he came to your house to find me. I don’t know how he knew– how he knows- where you live. At first I thought he was going to ask me out on date or something…” Max took a short break, trying to look at Chloe’s reaction.  
“Turns out he knows about my abilities to rewind time,” She continued with a doleful tone of voice, but Chloe seized the opportunity as Max took a breath.  
  
“And he tried to blackmail you,” She let out, almost as a statement rather than a guess.  
Her face was blank and her eyes were wide open. A disconnection from mind and body.

Max took her hands away from her knees and placed them on the bed, feeling the soft mattress she was sitting on.  
“No, because as it turns out… he can turn back time as well” Max barely had time to finish the sentence before Chloe smacked her down onto the table, sending a scare through Max.

“It has seriously only been a like 5 months since all that shit we went through with Rachel and the bullshit apocalypse! Why the fuck do we need to go through all sorts of possibly life-threatening, bitch-ass drama again?!” Chloe lifted her hand again, only to force it down onto the table once more.  
“Tell me that it’s done… tell me that you fixed everything when you went back in time. I don’t even want to hear what it was or why you had to travel back 3 fucking days, just tell me that you’re fine, that I am fine, that everything is just fucking fine!” Chloe sounded substantially aggressive, as the only thing moving was her mouth and her twitching arm.

Max was anything but prepared for Chloe’s reaction. All her famous courage seemed to have disappeared in a heartbeat. The story was far from finished, but Max was frightened to let out another word.

“I- I don’t know,” Max stuttered, feeling her jaw shake.

“Fuck!” Chloe let out loudly while flipping her body around.

“I’m… I’m sorry” Max could barely handle the situation, as Chloe’s reaction was exceedingly out-of-place. Her face was almost red as she began pacing from right to left.

“Don’t apologize. I’m just having a fucking PTSD attack. Happens when I get too freaked out, as you know” Chloe’s breath was let out snakingly, while the light from the lamp revealed her twitching eyes, scanning everything in front of her. She was in a condition of hypervigilance; her state of sensory sensitivity was enhanced and her intensity of behaviors exaggerated. It had happened once before, only a week after the events in Arcadia Bay. Max pinpointed her focus, remembering Chloe describing how truly terrifying the feeling was back then.

“Do you still have your pills?” Max threw away any thought that was not related to Chloe and began to focus on things that could help her friend calm down.

“I threw that shit away. Didn’t think I would need it,” Chloe let out a nervous chuckle as she took off her wool cap and threw it behind her before sliding her right hand through her blue hair. In rhythm with her steps, her breath became quicker as she was close to hyperventilating.

“Hang on,” Max quickly got up from the bed and walked over to the table, opening the window behind it, letting in some fresh air.  
“Want me to call your doctor?” Max expected a refusal, but it looked like Chloe legitimately thought she was about to die.  
  
“No,” Chloe answered as expected, but her face still revealed her consideration.

“Should I get your granddad?” It felt everything was moving in double tempo as the atmosphere had shut up in intensity, yet Max forced her anxiety down and kept focusing.

“No… No. Just… talk to me. Just not about time-travel. Distract me or something,” Chloe finally stopped moving around as she placed a hand up to her mouth, shortly echoing her heavy breaths.

“Okay, no problem,” She answered automatically, even though she had no idea of what to say.  
“I know you don’t feel like it, but I think you should sit down,” Max suggested with a sturdy tone as she looked at friend.

Chloe looked back, getting ready to deny the offer, but instead she kept quiet for a few seconds as she looked at Max.  
“Alright,” she eventually said as she intentionally shook her right arm a few times before walking over to the bed and sitting in the spot Max was sitting on previously. A few seconds passed as Max could feel her mind urging her to say something.  
“Remember that thing you said, just after you took my picture outside?”

Chloe leaned a little back, but her body was still tense and her eyes were wide open.  
“The dikfor joke I was about to make?” she sighed, placing her left hand on her chest to feel her heartbeat.

“Yep, I… I fell for it,” Max admitted as she looked at Chloe’s legs.  
“In the other timeline,” she added.

“No fucking way,” Chloe closed her eyes and let out a smile, but quickly returning to take quick breaths.  
“That joke is freaking old dude,” she briefly looked up at Max standing in front of her with a slight sideways smile.

“Guess I’m just that stupid,” Max shrugged as her cheeks widened, looking like she had just spilled a glass of milk, but not giving a damn.

“No,” Chloe wanted to smile, but she didn’t want it to come off as dishonest.  
“Only lame people use that joke. I heard it from some creep I used to hang out with… he was stupid as a grinded-up brick” Chloe leaned further back, supporting her weight with her shoulders on the bed.  
“You’re smart Max,” she looked to her left as the words escaped her mouth.  
“Kinda cute too,” she said in a whispering voice as she could no longer resist the urge to fall back onto the bed on her back.  
“God, I hate that word,” she said just as she landed, making the sheets bounce a few inches up.

Max barely had time to process the compliment, and decided to focus on her last statement.  
“What? You hate the word ‘cute’?” Max questioned as she began walking towards the bed Chloe was lying on, before sitting down on the other side of the edge.

“Pretty much. Where does the word come from?” Chloe asked, placing her right arm across her face, covering up her eyes.

“You mean it’s origin?” Max raised an eyebrow as she looked straight-forward, paying attention to a poster on Chloe’s wall, showing a naked baby in a pool, seemingly chasing after a dollar bill on a hook in the water.

“Yeah,” Chloe confirmed.

“I really want to show off, since you called me smart, but I honestly have no idea. Maybe from the word acute…” and suddenly it was Max that felt completely distracted, wondering about the simple word.

“Acute?” The blue-haired girl asked, still covering half of her face with her arm, as she was lying motionless on her back.

“Yeah. We sometimes use it in geometry. Basically meaning sharp. I believe cute was once a sort of synonym for the word clever… and someone who is clever can also be said to be sharp, or in other words, acute,” Max titled her head slightly to the right.  
“Holy shit. I’m not just smart. I am a genius,” Max openly praised herself with an expression of revelation.

“Tss. Told you,” though Chloe’s word were mellow, her body language still showed signs of nervousness. Her fingers were shaking, her breathing hadn’t slowed down and she must have been hiding her eyes for a reason. Max had picked up on these giveaways, but still felt slightly incapable of helping.

“I once kicked a baby,” Max let out emotionless.

“What?!” Chloe was quick to exclaim.

“Just kidding,” she replied equally as fast as she shook her head with a grin.  
“I did kick a kitten once though,” Max continued with some quite shocking confessions.

“For real?”

“It was an accident of course. I was visiting my aunt, who has like, shit, 5 cats or something. 2 of them being kittens,” Max began making hand gestures for no apparent reason as Chloe was still covering her own vision.

“Crazy cat lady?” The light suddenly made a quick flicker, but Max continued.

“She’s pretty down to earth… but as I was walking down this narrow hallway, a black kitten that blended in perfectly with the floor was lying up against the wall, close to a door. I was holding a plate– luckily a plastic plate- so I didn’t notice it until I took a particular swift step and toe-kicked it right in the stomach”

Chloe let out a subtle laugh, as Max began taking off her white hoodie.

“It let out this tiny cry and in my surprise I dropped the plate with my buttered toast, which didn’t help calm the kitten down, as it began running away. I felt so guilty and wanted to show the little kitten that I didn’t do it on purpose, so I began running after it so I could apologize and give it a friendly petting…”

“So you chased it down?” Chloe took the opportunity to ask when Max took a break when she pulled out her arm from the sleeve.

“Well, I just wanted to comfort it, but it kinda freaked…” Max let out with low spirits, bringing back mental images of the scared kitten.  
“Never saw much of Cuddly after that,” she ended, as she finally got free from the piece of clothing.

“Cuddly?” The blue-haired girl finally removed her arm from her face, but Max kept her attention forward to not make Chloe uncomfortable.

“Or whatever its name was…” Max said with a low voice as she threw the white hoodie on the armrest of a nearby chair.


	5. Groundwork

A half hour had passed with random chatter, when Chloe finally took a breath and said, “I’m alright now”

Max finally felt as if she could loosen up, but it was odd; she didn’t want to mention it, but she had enjoyed just talking with Chloe, despite the fact that the blue-haired girl probably didn't feel the same way, given the circumstances.

“Thank you,” Chloe tried to hide the appreciation behind a muffle, but the words came out clearly.

“No problem Chloe. I didn’t mean to bring up uncomfortable–“ 

“It wasn’t your fault. It’s just…” Chloe interrupted, not wanting Max to apologize again.   
“I finally got used to us not being in some fucked up situation,” she sighed before stretching out her left arm to reach for something on the nightstand.   
“And I just talked with gramps about some bullshit I shouldn’t have mentioned,” she admitted as she took a hold a pack of cigarettes, lying ready for grabs.

“If you’re gonna say it like that, how can I not be curious?” Max smiled as she turned her head around, looking at Chloe with a curious expression on her face. 

“Guess that was my fault,” the blue-haired girl responded as she took out a cigarette from the red pack with the brand-name ‘L&M’.  
“And it makes it even worse when I say: I can’t tell you,” she said just before placing the cigarette in her mouth and lifting her stomach up to reach for a lighter in her back pocket. 

“Aww, come on dude. Now I am dying of suspense,” Max placed the palm of her hands on both sides of her cheeks and pressed them together, making a squishy-face. 

Chloe looked thoughtful as she flickered the lighter three times until a small flame appeared which she was quick to place at the tip of the tobacco-filled stick.   
“How about this?” She let out as she inhaled while closing her mouth around the orange part of the cigarette providing the proper filter, leading the smoke down into her lungs.  
“I will ask you some questions and if I like the answers, I will tell you what we talked about,” she refrained from letting out a playful laughter and simply smiled at the thought of her own offer as she blew the thin smoke out of her lungs up towards the wooden ceiling. 

“Is it going to be factual questions or personal questions?” Max asked curiously, even though she was all fired up and ready. For some reason, playing games with Chloe always excited her, especially when there was a price involved. It was definitely a nice way to relax with her friend, even though the thought of the recent events still lingered in the back of her head.

_She needs to know and I should tell her, but this would be a horrible time… maybe when we’ve had some food._

“Ehh, personal I guess. Can you hand me the ashtray?” Chloe said lazily as she pointed in the direction of the table.

“Is that one of the questions?” Max got up from her sitting position in the middle of the question and began scanning the table area while walking towards it.

“Not really. I just don’t want hot ash in my open eyeball or something” It was nice how Chloe finally sounded relaxed again, even though she was describing a quite painful scenario. Nevertheless, she was lying on her back in the bed with a lit cigarette, so it was a possibility to be feared.   
The concern became insignificant though, as Max spotted the black ashtray lying close to her notebook along with a bunch of junk. “I got you covered,” Max said mostly to herself as she grabbed the small ashtray and turned around, seeing Chloe still lying carefree on her back on the bed. As she walked closer however, she paid special attention to Chloe’s exposed hair. It was not often she could be seen without her signature cap and even though was a somewhat unfamiliar sight to see the pink hair at the top of her head, she still emanated a fragile hint of elegance.

“Didn’t you say you would stop smoking like a week back, by the way?” Max questioned openly, even though she never had a major problem with Chloe’s bad habit.

“Ooh, that’s one point taken away,” Chloe cringed as she lifted up her arm and opened her hand to receive the ashtray.

“Man, we’re keeping score? I didn’t know,” Max let out dispirited as she handed her friend the item she so desired.

Chloe took a hold of the ashtray in a less than graceful matter before placing it next to herself on the bed.  
“Nah, I’m just joshing ya’,” she grinned as she was quick to place her lit cigarette over the black ashtray and giving it a few taps, causing the ash to fall down into the tray

“So, have you ever met a guy you loved, or at least thought you loved?” Chloe’s expression fell back into its default mode as she began staring up into the ceiling.

“Is that one of the questions?” Max asked again, wanting to make sure.

“Yes” Her expression was distant, yet she had a hard time not feeling vexatious for asking such an imbecile question and she could see out of the corner of her eye that Max felt slightly awkward, having to think about an answer.

“I’ve had crushes, but I don’t think I ever actually loved any guy” the ending of the sentence that Max spoke out, lingered in the air, peeking Chloe’s interest as she took another drag from her cigarette, slowly starting to frame her upper-body in smoke.

She nodded subtly before continuing, “What is your favorite color?” Both of the girls could almost feel the tension being blown away with the breath Chloe used to ask such a basic question.

“Are you serious?” Max lifted her eyebrows in the hope Chloe would look up at her and realize how silly of a question it was at the given situation, but Chloe didn’t need to read any facial expression for her to come to terms with that fact. Instead she closed her eyes, moved the cigarette over the ashtray once more, tapping the butt of the cigarette and turned her head. If she was in any position to give off a visible shrug, she would have used that to confirm the silliness.

The silence stayed a little longer until Max focused on Chloe’s hair and made a smirk.  
“Blueee,” she dragged it out, making a silly voice and smile to go along.

“Good answer!” Chloe mumbled with the cigarette in her mouth while pointing a finger high into the air. 

Max simply nodded, feeling oddly proud for scoring a few non-existent points in their little game.

“How about…” Chloe continued as she let her hand fall back down, placing it on her stomach.   
“First kiss?” It was a short, straight-forward question, but proved somewhat complicated for Max to answer.

“Huh,” Max let out automatically, having never thought about who actually was the first person she kissed.  
“Does family count?” 

“No,” Chloe was quick to say, subtly observing Max taking a few steps closer to the bed.

“Shit, I–“ Max began mentally poking around in her brain as she sat down at the edge of the bed, in the same place as before.  
“I think some boy once kissed me in pre-school, but that was just a part of a dare. Other than that…”  
Max paused for a second, as she resisted the urge to look back at her friend.  
“I think it might have been you, honestly,” she let out, feeling slightly embarrassed, coming to the realization that her first kiss was when she was eighteen.  
“But to be fair, that was totally a dare as well,” she added with a light-hearted voice and a sideways smile as she recalled the events.

“And how was it?” A very tricky question suddenly presented itself and Max had to give in to the urge and look at her friend, convinced she was wearing a clear smirk on her lips. However, as she turned her head and looked at her friends face, there was no indication that she was humored by the question she asked. It made Max stop the sentence she was about to let out to answer, as she kept looking at her friend lying on the bed. It made her wonder if Chloe didn’t mean for her game to actually be a game, but rather about gathering personal information from her. It sent an odd feeling though her, wondering if she actually had it in her to answer. It was an easy question in a sense. Just describe the experience and done. Next question. However, Max found it difficult to force out a single word as her mind was trying to analyze Chloe’s intentions.

“It was…” she began, but still felt uncertain.

“Have you ever went camping?” Chloe suddenly let out with a hasty tone as she looked to her left, putting the cigarette in her mouth, holding it between her fingers.

Max let down her guard and kept her attention on the girl, knowing that Chloe could see that Max was about to realize something and wanting to avoid it.  
The light from the lamp felt brighter, making Max clench her eyes slightly as the cold wind from the open window could finally be felt filling the room, but there was no sound coming from the outside. Everybody was already sleeping, getting ready for the day to come.

“I don’t know,” Max let out quietly, making minimal movements while Chloe lifted her head and looked back at her friend. There was no confusion in Chloe’s face as to which of the questions that were answered. She looked hesitant, stuck between a feeling of curiosity and disappointment.  
“Why?” Max asked with the same volume as she placed a hand on the bed, near her friend's left leg. 

“Just a random question,” Chloe’s body language provided the sigh she failed to make with the words, as her shoulders fell down slightly, her eyes silently begged for Max to let it go. A hint she failed to pick up on.

“Have you thought about it?” She continued questioning, feeling the fragile atmosphere that was about to snap.

“Just let it go,” Chloe finally expressed her irritation, giving Max a final chance to avoid walking into the fire as she pressed the half-finished cigarette into the ashtray and left it. 

However, it was too enticing and she wanted to find out what was on the other side, and even though Max proceeded with caution, she was curious, wanting to get a clear feeling of hot the fire actually was.  
“Chloe, is there something bothering you?” 

Chloe lifted her upper body and her hazy eyes became wider and more vivid, clearing exposing that she had taken one step too close.  
“Like you don’t already know,” she let out ominously but refrained from yelling.

Max could sense what Chloe implied and it was something that she rarely thought about and never wanted to bring up, but now that it was so close, there was no turning back.   
“Know what?” She responded in a defensive tone of voice, just in case she was wrong.

At that very moment the words left her mouth, Chloe lifted her chin, took a breath and pulled herself up to a sitting position on the bed, all in the matter of a second.  
“Stop dancing around it!” The buildup had finally ended as Chloe raised her voice. Max saw the decision Chloe mentally made in her head about the sentence she was about to bring into the light.  
“You know damn well that I am gay!... or whatever. Fuck labels! But it pisses me off that you keep acting like you don’t, because you’re supposed to be my fucking best friend, so of course… of course you’d know!” There was no time to stop and think in the brief paused Chloe provided.

“I didn’t think you would be comfortable talking about it,” Max was quick to break in with a slightly lower volume than her friend, but still loud enough to sound slightly aggressive.

“I wouldn’t!” Chloe tightened her fist, having to resist the urge to punch a random object.  
“I’m not…” Her voice became increasingly softer, as her eyes fell down.  
“But I would be with you... after all that happened, I thought it was so obvious anyway,” Her voice almost faded into nothing as her body loosened up and her hand fell back down.

“I just wanted to respect your privacy. I- I did want to talk about it, but after everything that happened with your parents, I didn’t want to push you into some awkward situation” Max instinctually followed Chloe’s fading voice but kept her attention on her friend.

Chloe’s hand began quickly sliding across the sheets on the bed, unintentionally shoving her lighter away.  
“Don’t give me that shit,” it was clear to see that she tried to remain her cool, but had to let the frustration out one way or another.  
“You keep telling me that I’m the most important person to you and I keep believing it, because no matter how hard anyone tried, it was always me that came first. That’s not something friends just do without reason,” her voice reeled back into aggression, but it was opposing, as her words were amicable.  
“I don’t want to talk about how you saved me a zillion times, but you even blew off Warren several times; no matter how obvious he was, you always turned him down… for me,” she halted before looking back up, meeting Max’s eyes with a look of query.  
“It was not because you didn’t like him, you just didn’t want to ruin your chances with someone else. I thought– no, I knew you wanted to do something about it, but you never did…”  
her vision drew Max’s attention closer, numbing her thoughts in the process.

“Stop doing that,” Max let out, feeling Chloe’s words hitting her hard, recalling her last talk with Warren.  
“Stop acting like you know my reasons! If I knew you were gay this whole time and since you’re the most important person to me, who is to say that I didn’t get together with him because I didn’t want to hurt you?!” Her voice rose in sharpness to keep down the ache that was building inside of her.

“Then tell me that I am wrong!” Chloe surpassed the previous volume in her voice as she moved forwards, placing herself on her knees, trying not to give away the sobbing hiding underneath.  
“Tell me that you don’t fucking like me; that you’re straight as a motherfucking arrow and never even thought about me like that!” Her nails dug into the sheets before she lifted up her chin confidently, not wanting to be kept in the dark for a single second longer. Her look was intense, making Max feel corned.

“If you knew all this, then why didn’t YOU bring it up?! Why did YOU act like you didn’t know?!” Her words nearly stumbled over each other, as she couldn’t handle the dispute for much longer. She wanted more than anything to stop yelling, but the certitude of her friend was annoying ever fiber in her being.

Chloe ripped away the string of eyesight she had with Max, turning her head swiftly to the right and closing her eyes; her body falling slightly down as she brought her arms closer to her body.  
“Because I wanted to hear it from you,” she let out with a voice of defeat. Her anger had rushed away into chagrin, but she avoided showing it.   
"It almost became too late at the lighthouse... now because of what you told me, I don't want to risk that again"

It was too late now; everything was out in the open and Chloe showed no intention to argue any further.  
Max stood still, feeling the tension drop in a matter of seconds after Chloe’s final words. Her shoulders fell down as she let out a sigh and bend her right arm slightly. “You’re not wrong”  
Lifting her feet up, allowing her to place them on top of the bed and moving a little closer to the center, Max got into a fetal position and felt her heart slow down.  
“I’m sorry”

The words bounced around a little inside Chloe’s head, but it wasn’t long before a thick silence blocked her chance of responding. The blue-haired girl kept her head turned away from Max, looking at the lit-up objects decorating her room while thinking the situation through. Her eyes were locked onto the metal handle of her closet, as she was trying to figure out if she could see her own reflection. She remembered that she had to replace the wooden handle that was originally attached to the closet, after ripping it too hard in an anger fit. 

“Dude. That was intense” she eventually let out as she closed her eyes in an attempt to ward off the awkward silence. She didn’t expect a response, but she did hear Max adjusting her body on the bed.  
A few more seconds passed and Chloe’s mind had finally calmed down. It was difficult to tell, but she sensed that Max had calmed down as well, leading her to ask an inescapable question.  
“Still wanna sleep over?”  
The pause was suspenseful, leading Chloe to turn her head back and look at her friend, already lying down on her back with her arms over her head.

“Of course” She replied with a de-stressed voice.


	6. Underlying Predicament

…so it only seems to work with pictures where my face is clearly visible or if I have a close connection to the image itself. Having a random photo of a friend or my home, doesn’t have any effect. It sort of works like merging into myself. From what I have gathered by crazy people online and by random hunches, I believe that I do not create separate timelines that work independently of each other; rather, I stop the original timeline, go back to a given spot on the line and rear it off course, making an alternative timeline, effectively stopping the original one. I don't think it is erased, however. This would mean that the people and animals– the whole world actually- doesn't continue on if I travel through an image. Sets my mind at ease honestly, since I have saved Chloe from injury, possibly even death by using this ability. If I am wrong, it would mean that I didn’t actually save her, I would just have made a… copy of her and placed it back in time, while the original would still experience the things I tried to prevent. So shit, I hope I am right. No that it matters much though, as from this day of writing, I haven’t used my powers in 5 months. I was stupid enough to try it out a month after the incident to prevent my mom from falling down the stairs and breaking an arm. Chloe was against it and even told me that she would “kick my shit” if she was with me. Luckily, nothing happened. I only did go back 2 seconds, so I didn’t prevent her from falling, but there was no indication of time messing up or of any damage to my body. That damn nosebleed man. I don’t know if what I should do with that information though. I know it’s a bad idea to use my powers, I really do know, but I can’t help but to think that in a moment of desperation, it might be my only choice.

“I will kick your shit if you do it” Looking through the narrow hand-written text, Chloe made an effort to understand every sentence, but still found it too trippy to really wrap her mind around it.

“Bleerg” was the sound coming from Chloe’s bed, with a tired girl in it.

The sound was funny enough to make Chloe give off a small smile while keeping her eyes on the open notebook in her hands. The bright light in the room almost reflected off the lead the words were written with, given that both of them had failed to turn off Chloe’s lamp when they went to sleep last night, and now with the daylight shining through the window they, fortunately, remembered to close, everything was a little too bright. It made Chloe recall why she was actually standing in the middle of her room, only wearing boxers and a black bra. Her priorities were originally: lamp off, pants on, wake up Max, get some food. However, spotting the grey notebook lying on her table had stopped her plans.  
  
What weirds me out, though… is the difference between time-travel by magic hand and time-travel by photo. I can usually travel around a minute back, then stay in that timeline. However, if it’s through a photo… I can travel all the way back to when I used a pacifier, but I can’t stay in that timeline. But what annoys the shiiit out of me, is the lack of consistency! Say I travel through the photo of when I was in Canada: Yay! I get to experience maple syrup and mosses again! Oh, wait. I’m back already. But when I traveled through a photo to save Chloe’s dad, I could be there for… some time, before I was brought back.

So what is up with that noise? Well, I always seem to be forced back, just after I’d done something important. Like, if I travel through a photo with a purpose in mind, I can stay in that timeline until my “goal” is accomplished. Which would explain why I couldn’t time-travel to Canada for fun for more than a few seconds. 

So you want some questions? OK! 

What if I travel through a photo but don’t know what my goal is exactly? Can I potentially stay all my life in a “photo world” if I never accomplish my goal? What if I die in the past? Will my body stay in that timeline forever because I didn’t finish my goal? And apparently, I can combine photo travel. Like, I can travel through one photo to go to timeline B, then travel through another to go to timeline C, then do whateverthefuck, and go back to the original timeline A.   
Want another question?  
Do I strike you as a person who is confused about all this stuff?

A: Yes. 

B: Yes. 

C: No. Jk. Yes. 

I will sum up my theory: Max travels through a photo because she wants to rent a movie from Blockbuster again. Max is now in a timeline where Blockbuster exists. Max has options. 

Option 1: Max decided she does not want to rent a movie anyway. Max gets forced back to her original timeline. 

Option 2: Max actively spends her time, trying to find a Blockbuster and is free to stay as long as she continues to try. She eventually finds a Blockbuster, rents a movie, and then gets forced back to her original timeline, having rented one more romcom in her lifetime.  

Option 3: Max realizes she could become a millionaire because she has time-travel powers and doesn’t give two shits about Blockbuster. 

Chloe had sucked in her lips halfway through reading, contemplating if she herself should take notes on Max’s notes, because she had found it pretty difficult to follow. Almost as if she was doing homework, and getting lost in all the information. 

Speaking of, I actually wish at the exact time the new Star Wars movie came out I would’ve gone to watch it, then immediately reverse time and spoil it for everyone before they got into the cinema.  
Yes. I want to use my powers for evil now. Muhahahaaah.

Chloe read the last sentence on the page and couldn’t help but to burst out a short laugh.

“I don’t know what the time is, but it’s too early,” Max whined out as slowly turned around, placing herself on her back. “What are you–” she mumbled before being stopped by an involuntary yawn. After rubbing her eyes, she made a second attempt. “What are you doing?”

“Reading a sci-fi” Chloe responded while turning a page, pretending to be extremely interested in the words she was reading.

Max’s blurred morning vision eventually adjusted as she glanced at the girl standing around in boxers, a bra and nothing more. The light lazily lit up Chloe’s bare skin, showing off her slim figure almost as a mockery. It could be considered lucky that Chloe was facing her back towards Max, as she could already feel the flutter passing through her.

“Oh yeah? What is it about?” Max jokingly asked when she saw that Chloe was holding her notebook. Some would call it an invasion of privacy, but Max had given permission for Chloe to read it a long time back, but this was the first time she ever witnessed the girl actually doing so. Nevertheless, it was not her original notebook she had when she first met Chloe, so there were no major secrets for her to find in there. Mostly just descriptions of certain events and information about her time travel abilities.

“Well, the plot is pretty hard to follow, but the heroine seems interesting. A little nerdy, but kinda badass” Chloe turned half-an-inch, unintentionally making Max feel teased. Not that there was anything new about seeing the front of Chloe’s half-naked body, but the conversation they had last night made every situation together seem more affectionate than usual. Something Max stressed about for a long-lasting hour before falling asleep last night.

“A female protagonist is always a good choice,” Max decided to let her eyes wander away from the shape of Chloe’s body and she found her eyes now paying attention to a single nail hammered into the wall with nothing but a frame of clear dust hanging underneath.

“Oh yeah, but I’m having a hard time finding the brave, muscular man that she falls in love with. A good sci-fi needs some romance” Chloe began exploring the pages, quickly shuffling through the notebook, barely reading a single word.

Max closed her eyes for a second and embraced the morning vibe overflowing her. “Maybe it’s one of those stories where the heroine crushes on another girl” Max let her head fall to the side, feeling her cheeks pulling her lips in an upward arc.

Finally turning around, Chloe let off a smirk and closed the notebook. “I hope so. Two girls against the world, finding comfort in each other’s company… sounds nice” her soft voice captured the moving atmosphere and obstructed it, holding it in place for a perfect second.

Seizing the opportunity, Max looked up at her friend who was now facing her front body towards her and even though she sneaked a peek at the top of Chloe's supple breasts, held in by her black, balconette bra; she found herself mainly staring at her friends face. Lost in the details of the girl’s expression; attaining the ambience that passed through the blue-haired girl.

“Now get your lazy ass out of bed so we can get some breakfast” Chloe lifted her arms with the notebook in her right hand, gesturing for Max to get up.

It was with a hesitant look that lingered when Max began kicking her legs a little before pulling off the white blanket she had been lying under. “I need to borrow some clothes… again,” she let out with a pause, realizing she had fallen asleep with her shirt on once again.

“Take your pick,” Chloe said as she lifted her left hand up, seemingly pointing towards the closet. “I don’t get why you don’t just take your freaking shirt off when you sleep,” she let out with a whispering sound.

“I don’t get why you don’t just freaking remind me to take my shirt off,” Max gave a sassy response as she got out of the bed and began wobbling towards the closed closet. “Do we have more of that caramel cereal? I mean, the after-taste was pretty gross, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice,” Max made a mental note that she decided to use the word ‘we’ to see if Chloe would question it when finally getting the energy to open the wooden closet.

“Fuck that shit. We’re eating out today,” Chloe almost hollered after placing the notebook back onto the messy table.

“Huh?” Max was unsure if she had correctly, as she didn’t pay much attention while trying to pick out some clothes from Chloe’s wardrobe.

“Fuck. That. Shit” Chloe repeated the sentence by stressing every word. “Fuck. The. Norms. We… are eating out today,” she continued but got impatient halfway through.

Max kept looking into the closet, seeing approximately 6 pairs of pants on a small shelf underneath the hangers with a wide selection of different shirts. “I like this grey shirt. Mind if I borrow it for today?” Max asked, completely ignoring Chloe’s weird rant.

“Get the white one,” Chloe let out, frustrated from the neglect. “I want it to be visible when I throw my food at you”

Max simply looked around for the white shirt mentioned to fulfill her friend’s childish wishes.

“Oh, and it’s fucking cold today. You should wear my scarf”

…

A good 2 hours later, the girls found themselves having just finished their desired meal in the littler diner. Max was poking around in the remains of her pancakes while Chloe had almost licked clean her plate of eggs and bacon. Max briefly looked up and let out a joyful sigh. Chloe had dressed up semi-formal– to her standards at least- for whatever reason. The black shirt with some artsy symbolism of burning books was not particularly formal, but her beige jacket made from silk was rather unusual. It was buttoned up two places in the middle, and the sleeves went all the way down to her wrists. Max had only seen her wear it once sarcastically and it did indeed look rather weird on a girl like Chloe. Not only that, the punk girl was also wearing a simple necklace, showing a grey polished rock inside a square, but not wearing her signature wool-cap. It felt odd to sit around with a plain white shirt, an open black zipper jacket and a black scarf when her friend looked so put-together. Taking away her attention from her friends attire, she looked back up at Chloe’s satisfied face. _It has been a while since I’ve seen Chloe eating eggs and bacon. She always said that Joyce cooked the best bacon, but she seems quite happy. Don’t you dare mention it though…_

Max tossed away the thought of Joyce and took a quick scan of the diner they were sitting in. They had been here twice before, but it wasn’t usually this quiet. It looked rather similar to the Two Whales, besides the weird western theme the booths had. From Max's point-of-view, she could only manage to spot six people, including the waitress. A young couple was sitting in a booth in front of them, while two middle-aged men were sitting at the counter, drinking their coffee. At the very corner of the room, a man had been sitting in silence, facing away from Max and Chloe. Max had gotten quite paranoid, as the man hiding behind a thick, brown jacket hadn’t ordered anything since they had arrived. Only the top of his short brown hair could be seen, occasionally bouncing up and down when he coughed. As she turned her head back, the black scarf she was wearing tickled her neck, sending small shivers throughout her body. It was one of the consequences of feeling unbelievable cozy.

_After we get out of here, I’m going to ask her if I can tell her about Ethan… but… maybe he actually gave up? There has been no sign of him._

“Hey Max,” Chloe suddenly let out while looking up, revealing the small piece of crumbled egg that had stuck to her right cheek.

“Hey Chloe,” Max let out, imitating her friend's tone of voice. “You got egg on your cheek,” she informed her friend while trying not to yawn.

“Really? Can’t feel it…” was her response, as she showed no attempt to wipe it off.

Max simply nodded, having provided the information and now waiting for Chloe to put it to good use.

“Lick it off” was the offer Chloe presented with no hesitation.

“Why the hell would I do that?” was the quick denial.

“Come on. Do it all sexy and shit, like in those crappy movies,” Chloe kept the ball rolling, seeming distressfully serious.

“Lick egg off your face?” Max had trouble recalling that sort of thing ever happening in any movie.

“Yeah”

“And that would be sexy?”

“Yeah”

Max looked down, having a hard time to process Chloe’s request, as she could feel her facial expression adjusting to her confused mind. “How about I just take this thing over here,” she said with a high-pitched voice as she reached out her hand to grab a napkin from the small box on the table. “And I wipe it off all sexy” she made a fair compromise as she quickly wiped off the egg parts of Chloe’s face and proceeded to throw the tissue onto her plate.

“Max, I’m going to be honest…” Chloe placed her elbows on the table and collected her hands, taking a deep breath. “That was freaking hot”

A moment passed with Max considering whether to sigh or laugh, as it turned into those moments of awareness of the bliss surrounding her. The tragedies were something that was always stuck in the back of her head, but that was something to be accepted, not fighting it to keep it hidden. She followed the early light shining through the glass window beside them, gently lighting up her friend in the most soothing way. She observed this feeling and watched it closely, not wanting it to slip through her fingers. When she closed her eyes, she dug her chin into Chloe's scarf she was wearing around her neck, sending a familiar scent through her red nose and giving a sense of lightness. Max kept holding on to this sensation until a loud thumb caught her attention.

“Fucking bitch!” A male voice yelled. “Didn’t I tell you to bring me that coffee fucking 20 minutes ago?!”

Max and Chloe were quick to look in the direction of the yelling, seeing the man in the corner now standing up, screaming at the elderly waitress. Her long tangled, blonde hair feel down in symmetry along her back while her blue eyes showed a concerning look.

“I- I must have forgotten. I’m sorry,” the woman wearing a white apron took a step back while the empty tray in her hand began shaking.

Max took a quick glance at Chloe, seeing the anger in her face. Her eyes were almost closed and her hands were spread out on the table, getting ready to quickly stand up. “Relax Chloe. It’s fine,” Max whispered, trying to calm her friend down, fearing what could happen if Chloe took action.

“Do you think I have time for your forgetful brain?! I won’t pay for this BULLSHIT!” His voice suddenly rose sharply as he grabbed the cup of smoking coffee and splashed it on the old woman who quickly proceeded to let out a short scream, dropping her tray as she was desperately trying to wipe the burning coffee off her face.

“HEY COCKSUCKER!” Chloe yelled loudly with a furious tone of voice as she swiftly got out of the booth.

The man took his attention away from the woman and looked back at Chloe standing up at the other end of the diner. He was a man in his mid-twenties with short, rough brown hair and while he was luckily not muscular; he wasn’t wearing the thick jacket just for warmth.

“How about you stick your dick in your ass and get the fuck out of here!” Chloe kept yelling furiously, increasingly tensing her body.

Now turning his body while making a fist with his right hand, the man turned in Chloe’s direction and sent her a dangerous look, giving her a chance to run away before it would inevitably turn into a fight. A fight Chloe simply could not win. Conflicting thoughts flew through Max’s mind, so fast she was unable to notice when Chloe had taken a step forward. Only when she heard the man yell out “Think I’m scared of some dumb bitch?!” with a vine pushing up against his skin in the right side of his temple, did she manage to snap back and witness the events happening in front of her. The woman had stumbled back behind the counter, looking for a dishtowel to wipe off the hot coffee while weeping quietly.

“Chloe, let’s just leave,” Max let out, feeling the fear creeping up on her, but her voice was too quiet and Chloe was too angry to hear a single word coming from her worried friend.

It happened fast, yet Max felt as if she had too much time to think. Too much time to consider her options, but every time she considered intervening or using her powers, an intense shaking surrounded her heart, nearly paralyzing her body. Locked up in chains by her own fear, all Max could do was to watch her friend approaching the man as she held her middle finger out in front of her before turning her hand into a fist and pulling back. The old woman behind the counter let out a gasp as the man was able to swing his right fist before Chloe could dodge; it sounded as a rope snapping when the fist made an impact on the left side of Chloe’s cheek. Electric sensations made Max twitch, watching her friend losing her balance and having to take a hard step to the right to stay on her feet. Noises were muffled as Chloe regained her balance and took an impulsive swing with her tensed up fist, but, unfortunately, hitting the man just under his shoulder, failing to do much damage. Again, the man lifted up his hand and threw another punch, hitting the same critical point on Chloe’s face, this time making Chloe trip over her own feet and falling to the ground. It was at that very moment a middle-aged man with blonde hair jumped off his seat on the counter to stop the action. “Cut it out!” He yelled, quickly followed by the young man sitting at the opposite booth of Max, who got up as well and began to run towards them. Something finally clicked inside of her, making Max rush away from her seat to aid her friend on the ground. A lot of yelling filled the diner as the other two finally restrained the man. She paid no attention to her surroundings as Max got down on her knees and placed a hand on Chloe’s shoulder. “I’m alright,” she let out with heavy breaths, but the words didn’t comfort Max as she had noticed the red bruise covering the right side of her face. Chloe snakingly placed the palm of her hands on the ground and pushed herself up on her knees. Her eyes were red and her lower lip trembling. The look in her eyes was distant and the breath she made through her teeth made a distorted whistling sound.

“Fuck,” Max let out, seeing her friend in shock. “FUCK YOU!” She suddenly yelled as she got up on her feet and stared dead into the cause of it all. The two men was still holding him back and in a calm manner, he looked back at Max but showed no emotional response.

“Should we call the police?” The young man asked out in the open but was surprised that the answer came from the kneeling girl.

“Fuck that,” Chloe said with a stressful tone. “Just help the waitress and tip her well,” she continued as she got up on her feet and gave off a nervous smile. “That reminds me…”

Max stood still, astonished as she watched the girl who just was punched to the floor, walk up to the counter, taking out her wallet and placing a few dollar bills close to the waitress who was too frightened to say anything.

“Thanks for the food. The bacon was hella crunchy,” she let out before turning around and catching Max’s attention, her face still looking red, but her blue eyes countered it with look of confidence. “Let’s get out of here”


	7. Solace

"What the hell was that?"

Breathing in the chill morning air, Max placed the palm of her right hand on her forehead while sliding her hand upwards, temporarily removing her bangs.

"That was a failed attempt at beating the shit out of a douche," Chloe replied, seemingly feeling content with the outcome despite her words.

The buildings around them were casting a pattern of shadows in front of them, making the temperature change quite drastically with every 8th step or so.

"No, yeah. I got that part, but you were like," Max paused for a bit, trying to get a feel of her vocal cord.  
"Thanks for the food. The bacon was hella crunchy" she made gestures as she did an over-exaggerated impersonation of Chloe.  
"After you got up and paid for our food," she stated to end her awe.

"Pretty badass, right?" Chloe pulled off the smirk of a warrior as she put her right hand in her front pocket.

Max shook her head while looking down on the cracks on the sidewalk they were walking on.  
"I once spilled ice water down by bra, but that shit was cold dude"

Chloe let out a short chuckle as she pulled out her phone and pressed a button on the side.  
"It's 10:25" she simply stated while keeping her attention on the screen.

A gap appeared in-between lines, making Max curl her fingers and shove her predictions away.  
"I'm sorry I didn't do much to help" she let out, trying to keep the sobbing in her voice to a minimum, as she knew what Chloe wouldn't want her to apologize.

"You'll have more luck apologizing to a wall. I just lost my cool and you even tried to stop me, so as usual you did the right thing. It's just... the waitress kinda brought memories back of my mom" Chloe refrained from looking up from the screen on her phone. Her loose hair was hiding the giveaways she usually presented and the emotion in her voice was a clear line.

Not being able to get a feel of the atmosphere, Max decided the let the silence do the talking as she observed the surroundings of the small city of Idaho. She had only been here once before for 3 days and had yet to get a feel of the state as a whole and her friend provided very little information on the subject, usually answering with "It's fine" or "People are people" so it sounded like a standard place to be. The good with the bad sort of deal. However, the state seemed to make an effort to get a better image as a young girl appeared in front of them, standing still with her feet and nervously holding her shoulders close to her head. Chloe had nearly walked into her, but she managed to take her attention away from her phone just in time and now looked down at the girl.

"I lost my parents" she let out with a nervous voice while looking down at the ground. Her blonde hair was placed in a pony-tail down her back, that gently swayed from right to left as she began gently turning her body around.

"Oh," Max let out, quickly recalling the process of what to do with a lost child. First off, she tried to catch her attention to make her feel safe. Still looking down at the ground, she seemed uncomfortable having to ask strangers for help.

"Man, that sucks. I know that feel," Chloe let out without hesitation as she bend down in her knees, trying to get in head height with the little girl.  
"How old are you?" She asked with a calm voice and with eyes that glittered with interest, instantly catching the attention of the girl.

"Four!" She answered proudly, finally looking up- revealing her light blue eyes, puffy nose, and flustered cheeks. She refrained from smiling, but it was clear to see her nervousness had been washed away in an instant by the simple question.

"Four?!" Chloe let out with a surprised voice while opening her eyes wide.  
"Nah, you're at least six," she continued with a teasing voice and bright facial expressions.

"No, I am four!" The girl eventually presented a smile that went along with the giggle she let out. Max felt that it was ridiculous how much of a generic young girl she looked like, with her pink t-shirt with actual sparkling glitter on it, showing a girl with pink hair, wearing a strawberry cap in the center. Something Chloe took notice to as well.

"That's amazing," Chloe let out in a voice so genuine, that Max began doubting whether she actually was surprised.  
"Do you know Strawberry Shortcake?" The blue-haired girl asked, clearly referring to the shirt the girl was wearing.

Looking at no particular interest, the young girl paused and then proceeded to shake her head, with a confident "no" almost as if she felt proud for not knowing the colorful cartoon character.

A small smile appeared across Chloe's cheeks, seemingly amused by the girl's simple answer.  
"That may be for the best. A girl can only take so many berry puns" she nodded with subtle movements before scratching her neck.

"Should we look around for her parents?" Max asked, having a hard time not smiling at Chloe's approach towards the young child.

Chloe gently pulled a little on her silk jacket before getting up from her kneeling position and taking a short breath.  
"Yo! Anyone know this girl?!" She shouted out in the open, trying to get the attention of the few people around them, which seemingly worked as everyone nearby turned their heads toward them and gave a curious look. Not getting an answer, Max began to feel slightly awkward with at least 6 people staring at her and Chloe. It was just about to seem like a lost cause until they heard a voice yelling back.

"Yes! That's our daughter," a man in his thirties let out, holding hands with a slightly younger woman with blonde hair down her back.

As Chloe briefly looked at the couple, she was quick to turn her attention back at the young girl.  
"Are these your parents?" she asked while giving a slight nod towards the couple who were taking quick steps towards them.

For some reason, the little girl placed the side of her index finger into her mouth, before looking back. "Yes!" She let out excitedly, before running towards the approaching couple. Her shirt bounced up slightly every time she took a quick, tiny step. She didn't have to run far however, as they met halfway, only a few feet ahead on the sidewalk of Chloe and Max.

"Where'd you run off to Cecilie?" The woman asked, looking relieved while placing the palm of her hand on her child's right cheek. The girls answer was too muffled to hear it, but there was hardly any time to wonder as the couple walked closer towards the two girls with their child safely following them.

"Thank you," the man smiled whole-heartedly, looking at Max and Chloe. The brown, wide jacket he was wearing, only being kept on with the help of his broad shoulders had a long, narrow tear down the left sleeve. His hair was short but messy and had a bright brown color that soaked up the sunlight like the hood of a car.

"She just suddenly bolted. Luckily she was only gone for a few seconds, but I'm glad you found her" he continued to show his appreciation. It was clear to see the correlation to the girl, as their nose had the same effect of puffiness and the bright smile looked very similar as well.

"It was her that found us," Max added while looking down at the girl who were holding both her hands around her mother's left arm.

"A smart move," Chloe said almost to herself as she suddenly looked rather distracted while talking to the father.

"Well, we were actually just heading home, but thank you," the mother spoke out, clearly wanting to show her appreciation as well. Surprisingly enough, the woman was wearing a low-cut dress, with a black pattern going in circles all around. Her legs must have been somewhat cold whenever a breeze passed by, but she was wise enough to at least covers her shoulder and arms with an open sweat-shirt, that she clearly meant to go along.

"No problem" Max showed the most genuine smile she was able to pull off while Chloe gave a short nod before the couple turned around and began walking in the opposite direction with the young girl happily skipping along.

Both the girls stood still for a couple of moments, not knowing what to say to each other to comment on the happening. However, Max had painted a big grin on her face while Chloe silently shook her head, reading her friends thoughts clearly.

"No," was the word Chloe used in an attempt to ward off the oncoming statement she knew was about to be brought up.

Max fully ignored the clear signal as she curled her toes and opened her mouth, keeping the happy face.  
"That was so cute, Chloe!" She let out while grabbing her friends arm out of sheer enthusiasm.

Chloe voiced her displeasure with a deep sigh before slowly lifting up her shoulder, sliding Max's grip around her arm downwards, as she continued to bend her arm, eventually and effectively leading Max's hand into the soft grasp of her friends palm. Without a word, Chloe placed her fingers in the space between Max's fingers and bend them, letting their fingers intertwine.  
Max's smile remained even though she was unprepared for these actions, but she remained silent and squeezed Chloe's hand gently as they both took a step forward.

"I hate that word" The blue-haired girl let out.

The remainder of the walk was quiet, with Chloe who had been playfully tapping her index finger onto the back of Max's hand. The sun had unnoticeably risen slowly, increasing the temperature and making the shadows retreat. As Max looked to her left in the direction of a repeating street-light, she comprehended the observation that Chloe had been holding her hand for the past 10 minutes, providing a clear sense of comfort, but also a sense of nervousity. It was the classic feeling of having butterflies in one's stomach when she really thought about it. The reason they were holding hands was not to keep each other balanced or to drag the other unwilling person somewhere as usual, but it was simply because they wanted to. Her mind was occupied with the sensation that had been filling in her stomach, finally being in a situation that couldn't be interpreted as just good friends. That, of course, led to a couple of people looking at them oddly when they walked past, but the care was lost to the happy girl. She never wanted to stop and she never wanted to let go.

However, as they finally reached the area in which her home was placed, Chloe gave a slight squeeze with her hand and let it slip out of Max's grip.  
"Sorry, I ruined our... breakfast thing," she let out with a voice signaling that she had wanted to apologize for a while.

The disappointment of their departing hands was quickly replaced with a feeling of delight as it was finally her turn to turn down an apology, saying that she had no reason to apologize. However, Max took peculiar notice to the words Chloe used to describe their trip to the diner.

"Breakfast thing?" Max placed her hand behind her right thigh, wiping it a little on her pants out of Chloe's vision, as her palm had become somewhat sweaty.  
"Bet that's not the first thing you wanted to call it," she continued, mimicking expressions of all the times she had teased Chloe. A crooked smile, a raised eyebrow and one upright shoulder.

"I can't call it date Max. Not just because the word is dumb, but because it's literally only 10:40 in the morning" Chloe ended up looking around, establishing that it was indeed morning.

"What does that matter?" Max asked, feeling predictions of several outcomes ahead of time, having a hard time to collect herself.

"A date always happens in the evening," the blue-haired girl stated another fictional fact that was probably based off movies and expectations.  
"And the two people on the date don't live the same place. One follows the other home, they kiss and then go on their merry way to tell all their friends about how they got mad laid"

Max watched Chloe tilting her head slightly to her right with her stupid, contagious smile. The sunlight shined down on her, lighting up the lines in her face, perfectly crooked and perfectly familiar. Even the slightly red bruise on her cheek failed to make Chloe's face seem less beautiful. It was one of those moments that knew what it wanted.

“Oh man, I should totally kiss you and just be like ‘that’s all I can offer for now’ and it’d be romantic as all hell” Max squinted her eyes with a puff of air escaping her nose, hiding from the fact that was exactly what she wanted to have the courage to do.

In response, Chloe tilted her head lightly and shrugged with a goofy smile.  
“So why don’t you?” Although, her smile was only there to cover for her beating heart.

“You’d wish” Max went into her practiced stance with a hip to the side, both aware of the layer of jokiness that became increasingly thinner. A layer that was only there to hide how they both were too nervous to make a move.

“Maybe I would” And Chloe’s words caused a chuckle from Max that lasted all but two seconds before she had to look down, seeing her fingers shaking.

Every breath was another moment to stall and it was now obvious how she tried to calm herself.  
“You wouldn’t mind?” She eventually forced herself to let out, only enhancing the wild ride her heart had gotten into.

Chloe was better at hiding her nervousness as she kept looking at Max, but still uncertain of what to say. “I… I guess you could find out” Her voice was low as she scratched her neck despite there being no itch.

Max was now looking up as well, a bubble having been created around them, warm enough to make it difficult to take a single breath. She took a step forward, making Chloe’s arms fall down her side to prepare herself.

Max slid her right foot closer across the pavement and laid her left hand on the side of Chloe's stomach, closed her eyes and quietly lifted her head up and moved closer. Her mind was too slow to react as she could feel the heat rising in her body for a single second before her lips were brushing up against Chloe's, making her heart skip a beat as she took a heavy breath through her nose, lifting up her chest as she felt the light pressure surrounding her lips. For a moment, she could see both of them from an outside perspective, standing close to each other, having their lips connected with their eyes closed, shutting out every irrelevant thought. Embracing the warmth spreading out through her body, only paying attention to how Chloe’s lips had a strawberry taste. Her mind eventually recovered as she pulled her head a little back, giving her less than a second to open her eyes and analyze the pair of lips in front of her, breathing out air slowly before she felt Chloe's arms around her body, gently pulling her in for a lasting hug. Placing her head on her friend's shoulder and embracing the hug in a similar matter.

"…That’s all I can offer for now" Max muffled out with a shaky breath, welcoming the scent of the girl in her arms.

"It’s more than enough" She heard Chloe respond with a whisper as she began making circles with her thumb on Max's back.

The bliss of silence the moment provided left Max with an inadequate feeling, wanting the kiss to have last longer and be more passionate. Even Chloe's heart pounding towards her chest revealed that she felt the same, but it was something worth waiting for. Something for another time.

"Wanna go inside?" Max let out with rusty voice, knowing they were standing out in the open, only a few steps from the doorstep leading to Chloe's home.

"Not really," she responded, lifting her head up and giving the last squeeze with her arms before she let go and took a step back.  
"But might as well"

Max grabbed the opportunity to look at the girl before her, paying attention to her pink lips, but got a hold of herself and took a step forward. Her shoe tapped onto the pavement leading towards the single step in front of the entrance.  
"Did you order something?" Max was quick to ask as soon as she saw the small box, standing to the side of the white door. It looked like a makeshift package with the use of an old box, sealed closed with duct tape and a short note attached to the side.

Chloe placed her right hand onto the back of her head, looking like she was about to yawn.  
"Must be for gramps. Don't know what it could be though, it's too big for just a letter or some crap"

Bending slightly down and turning her head to the side, Max looked closer at the note attached to the side of the worn-out box to see if they had written the receiver somewhere. Her eyes moved slowly as she read the black words on the white paper.

To: Max Caulfield and Chloe Price  
From: Ethan  
Welcome home

She stood still, reading the names once more before she stretched her legs and looked back at her friend with a worried look trapped in the center of her pupils.  
"It's from Ethan. The man I tried telling you about," her breath was short and the words passed through Chloe's ears with a sinking feeling.  
"The one with time-travel powers"


	8. Day One

As they walked inside, both quiet, both nervous to the core of their bones, Max was holding the package carefully with the tip of her fingers after a brief mentioning of the possibility of it being a bomb or something to that extent. However, the package was light compared to the size, so the chances of it containing explosives seemed very low. Luckily, Alfred was not sitting in the living room, so they avoided having to either lie or to tell a long and crazy story. When Max took the first step up the stairs, she watched Chloe's anxious face from the corner of her eye. She was looking down, sucking in her lips while keeping her arms close to her body. She wasn't sure what to expect, but Max knew Ethan's willingness for the unknown goal of his. At the final two steps, Max pressed her thumbs onto the sides of the package, regretting that she was now forced to tell Chloe everything when they were both in an anxious state. She was mentally imagining the change of words that was about to come, trying to avoid the scenario of Chloe having another attack. All too soon, they were surrounded by the four walls that made up Chloe's cramped room, her mind had gone blank as she carefully placed the package on the floor next to the table with Chloe's laptop and Max's notebook, before she looked back at the girl with crossed arms, waiting for anything or nothing to happen.

"Should we open it?" Max asked, fishing for a clear feeling of Chloe's current state. Unsure what to do, she was prepared to listen to any suggestion.

For a second, Chloe looked at Max with blue eyes of the past. It was an important cryptic message she showed off with a look of a hopeful beggar as if she was looking at the only thing that mattered in the world. "I don't know. I want to just throw it out, but you're the only one who might have an idea of what it is. What kind of person Ethan is," Chloe unbuttoned her silk jacket and dragged it off her shoulders. "And I trust you more than anyone" Her mature tone of voice caught Max off guard, making her recall the recent events, getting a fleeting feeling of luck, realizing that the blue-haired girl before her– with her feminine textures, yet rough layers- had romantic feelings towards someone like Max. An urge to psychically fight to keep everything in order presented itself, but with the options laid out, it was hard to decide what choice would keep it that way.

"Let's see what it's inside," she let out hastily after a conspicuous amount of silence. For all it's worth, Max needed to lay aside her currently tenuous emotions and think rationally.

"Need scissors?" Chloe asked before taking a long breath, showing her struggle to keep calm.

Turning her attention back at the box, Max bend down and placed the nail on her index finger under the edge of the black tape to see if she could simply tear it off before answering. It somehow brought an uncomfortable chill throughout her when the tape began peeling off when she started pulling. The question was answered when to the two layers of taped had been pulled off, leaving the old box ready to be opened. Max hesitated, wanting to look back at Chloe for confirmation, but her curiosity led her to immediately remove the cardboard on top, revealing the content lying at the bottom.

"There's a piece of paper with words on it," Max stated as she looked closer. "And something else. Looks like a USB-stick"  

Carefully she began fiddling around, trying to see if she missed anything, but when her hand touched nothing but the paper and the USB flash drive, she felt it was safe to lift the content out; as she grabbed the paper she subconsciously read the words 'read the text first, then this'

Chloe was like a shadow to her as she felt absorbed in her own interest to study the content. She placed the USB drive to the side and began reading at the top of the piece of paper.

Max and Chloe.

The content in this box will contain nothing that may cause physical harm. You can choose to ignore everything- every word written below, but an outcome is bound to happen, whether you chose to participate or not. These are instructions while the USB Flash Drive will provide the visuals and programs needed to start. I would not set up this difficult task if I didn't feel like it was a necessity. Please read everything below, before plugging in the USB on Chloe's laptop. This will be a test of your morality, it may seem stressful, but there is a countdown that started this morning. If you are reading this when you brought the box inside, you will have approximately 30 minutes to finish the task. Instructions below. Good luck.

A particularly uncomfortable throb from her heart made her stop reading and look back at Chloe. "It's some sort of task," Max let out, already feeling a restless sense of adrenaline rushing through her body.

Chloe looked straight-forward, biting the edge of her upper lip before walking by Max and closer towards her bed. "Just... read it out" her anger was showing through the torturous voice she let out, stating that she was far from happy to be placed in a situation like this. Slowly, Chloe sat down on the edge of her bed with both her eyes open, but her vision unfocused. Max could tell that she wanted every piece of anxiety to escape the wires in her brain and that the only thing keeping her in this very room and paying attention to the words to come was for the protection of her friend.

Max was aware of her options which could temporarily calm her friend, but simply ignoring what was presented could be a fatal mistake in the long run. Considering this, she blocked off her emotions and looked back at the paper in her hand, as she felt her body heating up, making her black jacket stick to the skin on her arms.

"The top parts just says it will be a test of my morale or something and that the USB-stick will provide some programs needed for the task," she paused as she was content to begin reading the parts below. "The USB-stick will contain two files. One of them being a multiple-choice program, where an unspecified amount of questions will appear on the screen, and a couple of answers will be shown below. There are no objectively wrong answers, as the questions will place you in a situation where you will pick what decision seems justified or right to you. I know I can't prevent Chloe from interfering, so she may participate. Again, I won't and simply cannot force you to agree to this, but the second file will contain the thing that might persuade you both into participating. For reasons that you'll inevitably find out later, I have been able to gather information about the two of you. Personal information and information about certain events that you caused or willingly engaged in. This information covers your full names, age, your family member’s names and addresses. In addition, I have gathered your personal identification numbers, your preferred hangouts and basically everything that can provide a stranger to know anything about you. From blood-type to brand of clothes. Also, the information includes evidence about Chloe's drug-abuse, the high-school break-in, and interfering or being a part of multiple official police cases. Most important of all, I have the means to link the destruction of Arcadia Bay to you and Chloe and while it may not be as significant, I have information about your time-travel powers”

Max had to take a short break, feeling her throat getting dry. She did her best distract herself from thinking about what she was reading and focused on continuing.

“All this and more, I have stored in an online space, that is completely private for now. The countdown I mentioned before is the amount of time you have left until everything goes public and will be spread across the internet on every social media. I don't need to tell you what implications this might bring for you and your families. To prevent this from happening, all you need to do, is to answer some questions. If all the answers fall in line with the proper interpretation of justice and morale, you will not have to take any further actions to prevent everything from being uploaded and I will leave you both alone forever, as there will be no reason to teach you anything. However, for every answer that is deemed too selfish, dishonest or heedless, the actions you will have to take to prevent the information from going online will be more dire. This will be shown in a small text post at the bottom of the screen when all the questions have been answered. If you fail to answer all the questions before the countdown reaches zero, there will be no chance to prevent the files from being uploaded. It is important to notice that after every answer, 30 seconds will pass before the next question will appear. Blame providence. For all that it's worth, I hope this will be the last time we'll have any sort of contact"

The last word escaped her mouth, emptying her of energy. With all the thoughts running through her head, her mind ended up completely blank as her only option was to look over at Chloe for help. She still looked stressed– downright pissed- but it seemed like she was thinking the situation through. "Why is he doing this?" Was the first and most understandable question the girl asked.

An answer was easy enough, but the exact reasons were still unclear to Max. "He doesn't think I'm worthy of having time-travel powers," she let out with uncertainty as she watched her friend getting up from the bed. "He wants to improve my ability to make choices. He said he wanted to teach me about moral," she continued as Chloe walked close to the table to her right and loosened her shirt at the cleavage.

"Did you tell him everything that happened?" Chloe asked as she bend down and grabbed the USB lying on the ground.

"No!" Max was quick say, feeling oddly offended by the question before noticing the warmth around her neck, still wearing Chloe’s black scarf.

"He just knows... I don't know why. Maybe because he has powers as well. His memories might not get rewound when I go back in time. I still remember things after I go back in time, so the same may apply to him" The thought confused them both, but at this point, there was no clear explanation as to how he knew everything that Max and Chloe had tried their best to keep secret.

"You said he forced you to go back three days. What happened in those days?" Chloe was quick to continue with questions as she opened up her laptop. It was understandable, given Ethan had given them a time-limit, but the lack of comfort made Max feel crestfallen.

"I didn't know he had powers the first day and most the second day. He, ehh..." Max could feel a lump gathering in her throat, driving her to take a hold of the scarf and lifting it above her head. "He threatened me, and you almost ended up…” an uncomfortable amount of saliva gathered in the corner of her cheeks. “You were fine” it was an obvious lie Max laid out, but the pressure of a time limit made it difficult to think rationally.

Chloe chose not to reply and kept staring at her computer that was starting up.

“I don’t know Chloe. We spent most of the time trying to avoid him… he had someone spying on us. He accidentally said it was his brother in a rage fit” a beam of light centered at the side of her neck, making her flick her head to the side while biting her teeth together. The annoyance of having to overlap the past and present made her curl her hand into a fist. “You were walking around with a gun most of the time”

Chloe subtly took a glance at her frustrated friend and decided to interrupt her. “I opened the folder containing the two files. One is titled JRMR.exe and the other is titled MCD. No idea what it means… I’m gonna open it,” she let out hesitant after a short pause. Chloe stared at the title of the file for a couple of seconds. The simple title "JRMR.exe" could either be an acronym or just random letters. There was no reason and more importantly, no time to try to analyze it. She slid her index finger across the mouse pad and clicked the file twice, opening up a minimized window showing only a black screen.

"I opened it up," Chloe said with such an unemotional voice, that it was almost frightening.  
  
"Should we open up the other file as well?" It briefly annoyed Max how she felt so insecure, like a kindergartener being afraid to talk to an adult. It was not what the situation called for.

"On it" Chloe stated, her voice stretched in fortitude.

A moment of despairing silence passed her by, her mind had halted and her body followed.

"Alright Max. I have set it up. The second file only contained the countdown," Chloe continued talking as Max stretched her back and walked over next to her friend who continued to talk. "There's is 22 minutes left. I opened both files and placed the windows next to each other so we can keep track" her sentence seemed unfinished, but Chloe had paused as Max looked at the black numbers counting down on the right side of the screen, with a plain, white background. The left side showed six text boxes on top of each other, written with black letters on a white background. The first one showed four lines of text, the next four was marked with numbers, so that would undoubtedly be the possible answers. The last box was blank. All the fear had momentarily stopped, feeling like the survival instinct kicked in, calling for a proper thought process.

“Alright,” Max let out breathily, feeling the tip of her toes curl inside her sneakers. She nearly placed her hand on Chloe’s shoulder but moved it to the side just in time. “Should we just do it and see what happens?” Her mind felt like a sturdy wall pushing against her, having to fight to keep sane.

Chloe kicked up her knees in a separate order, showing her method to keep sane was move psychical. “On one hand, we can follow this creeps' orders and officially be a part of his games, or we can ignore it and risk jail time and possible violent harassment from people, to both us and our families and though nobody will believe it, a bunch of people might find out you have time-travel powers…” The girl, sitting in an office chair held her palms up, visually showing what weighed the most. “I think we should just… click some shit and yeah, see what happens” Chloe let out with a sigh.

Max felt her heart speeding up; she could nearly feel the pumping blood through her veins that made her twitch. However familiar it was, no matter how much time she had spent suffering through this state, it never seized to catch her off guard, making her feel incapable of focusing. She became increasingly angry, but it boosted her confidence as well. She took a glance at Chloe’s naked shoulder and moved her hand from the back of the chair and onto her skin.

“Let’s see what it says”


	9. Treading Paper

She had read the first two words on the screen four times, repeating them in her head before she had the courage to continue. _It’s just a question._ The only consolation, besides having Chloe by her side, was the sun peacefully shining in through the window and the occasional sounds of cars driving by. It brought a connection to the real world in this moment of urgency and distress. Max’s eyes glanced at the black text once more.

Question 1: You are sitting at home with your parents when three men break inside and threaten you all with guns. One of the men gives you and your mother a gun and tells you that one of you must die. If you both refuse to take a shot, the men will kill your mother and father, but will spare you. Your mother looks at you. What actions do you take?

“Fuck this shit,” Max whispered mostly to herself, as she briefly looked at the back of Chloe’s head, finding the spot where the pink and blue dye met.

“What a moral dilemma,” her shoulders moved slightly as Chloe spoke out these sarcastic words. The computer made a humming sound that made Max take a breath and focus on the answers provide below.

1: I shoot my mother. That way I have saved myself and my father.

2: I tell her to shoot me. I will die, but I will have saved two of the most important people to me.

3: I refuse and try to convince my mother to do the same. I can’t live with the guilt of my mother dying by my hand. 

4: I do everything in my power to save us all and shoot the men. It’s a risk, but I have to try.

Both of the girls stayed quiet for a moment until Max looked a little to the right and saw the timer with nearly 20 minutes remaining. There had been no information about the amount of questions, so spending as little time on each question was crucial.

“Okay, he is clearly referring to what happened at the lighthouse. It’s the whole reason why he is doing this shit,” Max let out, still resting her hand on Chloe’s right bare shoulder as she turned her head towards her friend.

“You didn’t tell me that,” the blue-haired girl let out with a neutral tone of voice. Her blue eyes looked up at Max, analyzing her face, reading the cracks in her lips.

“He thought it was selfish how I saved one person that I cared about, rather than saving the town…” Max’s voice became increasingly quieter, as she tried her best to look back at Chloe, but found it strangely difficult.

Chloe didn’t respond as she turned her attention back at the screen before letting her head fall to the side, resting her right cheek on Max’s hand that was on her shoulder. “So the correct answer should be the answer that saves the most people?”

“Well, answer 1 saves me and my father, while answer 2, would save both my mother and my father. Answer 3 would mean that only I survive, so that must be wrong. Answer 4…” She paused for a second, feeling confused about the last answer. “That is the only answer where the outcome isn’t certain. I don’t think he would consider that the right answer” her voice signaled the doubt, but she had to speak her mind as quickly as possible.

“So it is either answer 1 or 2?” Chloe asked, moving the mouse on the screen quickly up and down between the two text boxes.

“I think so. I just don’t know if he would consider my life more valuable than my mothers. If it’s age related, then it would be answer 1, but… I think he is looking for the most noble answer” Max’s eyes fell down on the blue hair that was spread out on her hand.

“Answer 2” Chloe spoke through her teeth, holding the mouse in the center of the second text box.

“Yeah,” she was quick to respond, but the word came out slowly.

She clicked it. Max didn’t feel a chill, nor was she surprised. The answer was locked. The blank text box at the bottom now had a few black words in it.

Wait for the result…

Max was pushing her tongue against the back of her teeth as they both kept silent. Chloe had begun tapping her fingers onto the desk after 20 seconds had passed and Max had to admit to herself, that she started feeling frightened of the program having stopped working. Her eyes shot up when the text was eventually replaced at the bottom.

X: 1  ✓ : 0  
Awaiting next answer…

“What? Was it wrong?” Chloe let out perturbed. “What happens then?” she continued, lifting her head from Max’s hand and turning her it towards her.

“It said that with every answer that he deemed wrong, the actions to prevent the file from being uploaded would be worse,” she noticed Chloe’s state and it instantly brought her a determination to stay calm, or, at least, pretend to be so. She looked back at her and blinked slowly. “It was only one question. We can do it”

Her eyes lingered onto her friends a little longer, her pupils were slowly increasing in size until she turned her head back at the screen and gave a small nod. Five seconds of trying to control their breaths, the screen eventually made a flicker and the text was replaced. Max leaned her head closer, shut out her thoughts and began reading.

Question 2: Your 19-year old niece has been in an accident and is unable to live a proper life. Furthermore, due to severe damage to her organs, she will most likely not live past 21. You are alone with her in the hospital, only being kept alive by the machines attached to her. She has been in pain for so long and now begs you to just end her suffering. She informs you that you will not be held accountable for murder and that her parents would understand, even though they are unaware of her wishes to end her life. What do you do?

“You gotta be shittin’ me” Chloe almost growled as she pulled down on the sleeve of her shirt. “He knows about me asking pretty much the same thing in that fucking dimension? Because I really don’t think it can be a crappy coincidence”

Max just finished reading the question, when she remembered to take a breath. When the air had touched the bottom of her lungs, she looked to the right of the screen, seeing the timer at 18:25. She knew they had to move faster.

“It is a common dilemma, it seriously could be a coincidence,” she spoke out, feeling odd for disagreeing with Chloe who leaned back in her seat and remained quiet as she continued reading.

Answer 1: I end my nieces suffering. If she truly wishes to die but is unable to end it herself, then I must do it.

Answer 2: I refuse to assist in her death and proceed to tell her parents about their daughters wishes. If she is suicidal, her parents need to know.

Answer 3: I refuse to assist in her death, but I don’t tell her parents. I should not intervene and it’s her decision whether or not she wants to tell anyone.

Answer 4: I tell her to think about it some more and make the decision based on her answer a few days later. If she still wants to die, I will comply, if not, then I, of course, let her be. 

They both felt as if they had been staring at the screen for hours, unable to recall the time of day or what happened before Chloe opened up the test. Max was sucked in, determined to make the right choice. “Again with answer 4 being vague…” she whispered mostly to herself, taking notice to her own annoyed voice. “I think he would want me to choose answer 2, but that logic didn’t work before” her eyes were glued to the flickering screen and the pixels began looking pink and green, the words blending together.

“So… what would you do?” Chloe hesitantly asked, knowing the sensitive subject. She too, kept her eyes on the screen, barely blinking.

Max pinched the tip of her brown hair and clenched her teeth together. “Well… I did do what you asked of me that time,” it brought a sense of guilt over her, saying those words as she gathered a few locks of hair between her fingers and placed them behind her right ear. “I just couldn’t stand to see you suffering… and everything you told me was just-,“ she got lost in her own words when she titled her head to the left and recalled the events.

“Dude, we talked about this. I seriously don’t blame you for that. It was my– or the other me’s- choice. You just helped me,” she interrupted Max and she silently thanked her for doing so. Her punk friend had always acted as a barrier for Max when it came to fear and anxiety. When she was around, her feelings would never pass what she couldn’t handle and she remembered when she promised herself to become that person to Chloe. The one she could rely on.

“Thanks, Chloe,” she let out after a second too long. She hated that her friend was sitting in the chair and that she was standing up, not being able to look at her or embrace her. “But… I still don’t know what to pick. The other answer we focused on what we thought Ethan would want us to respond” she let out as she heard a car outside, instinctually making her speak up. “Maybe we should just answer honestly” Max hid her thumb between her palm, frightened by the thought of Alfred coming home to check on them.

“Answer 1 it is,” Chloe was quick to let out, as she must have glanced at the remaining time. Max still wasn’t sure how invested she was in this and she could see it annoyed her, how she felt forced to be a part of this.

_Maybe I should just do it myself. Tell her when it’s over… God, I know how that will go, though. She will refuse to not help me out._

“I guess– I mean, yeah” There was no longer time to doubt and discuss the answer and even though she felt more confident than before, her body still responded with a bitterness.

After Chloe clicked the box, it was locked in just as before. If it wasn’t because Max was following her friend’s eyes, she wouldn’t have noticed the change on the text box at the bottom.

Wait for the result…

She couldn’t hold it in. She felt it pushing from the inside as she was looking at Chloe’s desk, trying to find something she could throw against a wall. Something she could destroy.

“Why is it we have to wait like, half-a-minute before the next question pops up?” Chloe’s calm voice made Max, even more, angry for a single second, but just as she looked the corner of her friend’s mouth, she forced herself to stop tensing her shoulders and started pushing her index finger against the middle finger as if she was trying to scissor a piece of paper with her shaking fingers.

“Because if I saw the result immediately after, I could just rewind time and pick something different,” her anger was still lingering, almost being certain that the answer was wrong. Being certain that no matter what she picked, it would always be wrong.

“Would you though?” She asked, slightly slanting her head down so she could look at Max out of the corner of her right eye.

“What?” Max’s bangs had scattered around the top of her eyes, worsening her vision.

“If you could, would you rewind time if the answer was wrong?” Her voice came out neutral, but in an obvious forced way.

“Yes,” Max stood still, no longer having the patience to foresee Chloe’s response. “I would” She knew Chloe disliked the answer, she was more scared of the powers than Max was after everything that had happened and while Max often agreed that they should act like it was a thing of the past, the possibilities were still there and it simply could not be ignored.

“Fuck,” she heard Chloe speak out with her teeth on her bottom lip, making her look at the text box yet again.

X: 2  ✓ : 0  
Awaiting next answer…

“Wrong again?! Either he has a twisted sense of moral or he’s just trying to fuck with us, by making every answer– “it shocked her more than it should have when Chloe cut her off. “Let’s just move on to the next question,” she let out with an irritated tone of voice, making Max doubt if she was annoyed by her or just the situation.

She stayed silent as Chloe had already begun reading the next question. Max knew it was her. Her stiff neck and her still eyes shoved a silent yell through her. Max tried again to come up with something to say, but every number of words she was able to form into a sentence would only make it worse. She blinked hard once, forcing the moisture to the corner of her eyes and began reading the text, begging for this to be the final question. Her heart was clenching, pushing up against her chest.

Question 3: You are standing at a beach. Your best friend and a young male teenager are swimming out in the water when a hard current is making it difficult to stay above water. Your best friend is a strong swimmer and has a 60% chance of getting back to shore while the teenager only has a 20% chance of surviving. A lifeguard is about to take action and swim out to save them, but you can tell he only has enough time to save one of them. Who do you tell him to go after?

For once, Max tried to read the answers as well, before she reacted to what she read, but her eyes fell too far down and was followed by her eyelids. All she could see now was the changing shapes moving around in the vast darkness, switching from a clear red color to a pale purple one. With her eyes closed, her thoughts finally had peace to wander freely. To think about the implications of all the information going out.

_Information about where we live wouldn’t be so bad. Most of it is public anyway… of course, I don’t know where he plans to publish it. Personal identification numbers could be a problem, but nothing that couldn’t be solved. Police reports, however… who would be interested in those? Maybe my parents, but fuck that. Of course, our full names and addresses with the reports might cause some harassment. Other than that, if he really has some way to prove that I played a part in the destruction of Arcadia bay… that would be fucked up. He must have to prove I have powers as well though and I can’t imagine any way he could do that… but even a lead could end up into something huge. People are still shocked over what happened… I am too._

“Answer 1,” A sturdy voice passed through Max’s ears, making her open her eyes in an instant. “I tell the lifeguard to save my best friend. I can’t take the risk of losing someone so important to me and the other person still has a chance of surviving”

Chloe had noticed that Max wasn’t looking at the screen and had now begun reading the answers out loud.

“Answer 2. I tell the lifeguard to save the teenager. This will provide the highest possibility of both of them surviving” Her face was focused on the screen, but Max was still trying to catch up. She noticed the timer showing that there were only 14 minutes left.

“Answer 3. I stay silent and let the lifeguard make his own choice”

Max thought about the answer for as long as she could, reading the answer back to herself inside her head until Chloe continued.

“Answer 4. I either tell the lifeguard to save my friend or the teenager, while I go out and try to save the other”

Chloe finally paused and gave Max time to think. There had a been a repeating pattern with all the questions and that was the uncertainty of answer 4. Never had the consequences of those actions been fully established, so there was a possibility of the answers having a pattern as well.

“What would you choose?” Again, her voice felt despondent. As if she had given up.

“Answer 4” She had to try it. She had to shove away her actual sense of moral and look for the reasoning behind his test and most importantly, they had to get it over with. The feeling of watching Chloe in distress because of her was unbearable to Max.

“Are you sure?” Chloe placed her right fist into her palm and added pressure, cracking two of her knuckles.

“Not at all” By accident, Max’s voice made a weird voice pitch in the middle of the sentence and first then she noticed the tear under her right eye, getting pulled down to her upper lip. She had been unaware of her body responding to the stress, but she did nothing to remove the tear, nothing to hide the evidence that she was sad. She wanted Chloe to see her tears, her red cheeks, and puffy nose and push the chair back, smash the computer and force Max into her arms, hugging her tightly until her ribs hurt.

“I think…” she continuously distracted herself by either speaking or focusing on Chloe’s distant expression, wondering what was running through her head. Wondering what will happen when they answer the final question. “My instincts are telling me to pick answer 1, but he may be trying–“ she stopped talking the moment Chloe had moved the cursor over to answer 1 and clicked it. She would have blurted out something, but a mixture of trust, anger and fear made Max stay silent.

Wait for the result…

Max turned her head a little to the right as she found her eyes focusing on the black scarf she had placed on the table next to the laptop. She could sense the seconds passing and with every mental tick, her mind grew hazy and her body loosened up. Her arms felt detached, but she could feel the blood flowing down to her fingertips and it consoled her. She felt dead and a wind blew through a hole in her stomach, but it was comforting. The last second had passed.

X: 2  ✓ : 1  
Awaiting next answer…

_It was right._

“It was right,” Max let out, looking at the side of Chloe’s face. She had a subtle grin painted on her lips as her eyes moved upwards.

A small crack appeared at the side of cheeks, the same ones she always had when she was smiling. The ones that always made max smile as well, like her happiness was the perfect part of her. As if she could never smile like that, if her friend wasn’t there to conduct her, to show her the wrong way and somehow make it right. She was perfect for her.

“Max,” her voice was drained and her lips fell down. “The next question is…” her worried expression made Max take a short breath. Her eyes were moving from left to right, reading a line of text several times. Max’s stomach tightened when she looked at the screen Chloe was staring at.

Question 4: You are sitting at a diner with your friend when a robust man throws hot coffee on an elderly waitress. Your friend takes action and stands up. She goes over to throw a punch at the man, but unfortunately, she ends up being knocked down onto the floor. The waitress is weeping, your friend is in pain and you’re still sitting in the booth, wondering how you can help her. What do you do?

“No way” Max whispered.

Answer 1: I rewind time and stop the man from throwing the coffee.

Answer 2: I immediately go help my friend.

Answer 3: I get out of the booth and comfort the waitress.

Answer 4: I let my fear win, let the anxiety strap me down and wait until I can safely avoid confrontation.

A lump gathered in Max’s throat and a burning sensation centered in her stomach. “He was there?” A sudden bloom of heat surrounded her.


	10. Vexed and Yearning

She curled her thumb and hid it securely inside the palm of her hand, looking at the frame of the window in front of her. She wanted to get out, away from this room. This new room with walls painted gray and a select number of old posters hanging on those walls, the ceramic vase missing a piece, but not yet broken. This should not be the place, sucking in these impending frantic memories. More than anything, she wanted Chloe gone. Away from the chaos that always sought out Max, dragging in her friend, just because they were a separate dream, clashing in the middle.

Chloe ran her hand down her thigh and up again. She looked to her left, the opposite direction of Max and took a thin breath. Her hand curled into a claw as she began scratching her leg. She did it faster. Tapped her boot against the wooden floor. She was craving an out. Craving the drugs that would destroy her and lead her away.

“We need to stop,” Chloe’s voice shook and her bottom lip was vibrating. “Not because…” she looked inside herself, touched her temple and looked at her fingers. “Just fucking pick one” she pushed her feet against the floor, moving her chair backward and stood up. “I feel awful” stepping to the left, she pulled her hair and kept walking closer to her bed.

Max closed her eyes and placed two fingers at the tip of her nose. Her body stood up as well, running past the light coming through the window, wrapping her arms around her loved one from behind, pressing her lips against Chloe’s neck. She hugged tighter, kissed her neck once more and whispered “I love everything that you are and hate everything that I am” then opened her eyes. She was standing at the same spot, having not moved an inch, still looking at Chloe’s back and not having uttered a word. She couldn’t do that. She wanted to run over to her friend and do exactly what she had imagined in her head, but she couldn’t do that. She adverted her eyes from Chloe and looked back at the screen, but found both too painful to be staring at. The humming the PC made lifted Max's brain and pressed it against her skull, giving her a headache. She looked back at Chloe who was no longer wearing her silk jacket, revealing the black shirt with cut-off sleeves. Her arms were crossed and held close to her body, her head falling slightly down and her breath intentionally muted. A high-pitched beeping instantly caught the attention of Max, making her look at the screen once more. The computer beeped again, signaling the 10 minutes remaining. _Dammit! I need to answer this shit!_

Max read the question again, but the words failed to stick with her. Her mind kept drifting away to her frustrated friend.

_Or should I just fucking… give up?_

She read the question again, feeling small poking sensations on the back of her head. Knowing that Ethan must have been present when they were at the diner, but Max failing to notice, frightened her. She felt unobservant and inadequate of protecting her beloved friend.

_Chloe doesn’t deserve this. She deserves a life of peace and happiness. Not the misery I have brought upon her._

While thinking, she had read the question and the answers trough.

Question 4: You are sitting at a diner with your friend when a robust man throws hot coffee on an elderly waitress. Your friend takes action and stands up. She goes over to throw a punch at the man, but unfortunately, she ends up being knocked down onto the floor. The waitress is weeping, your friend is in pain and you’re still sitting in the booth, wondering how you can help her. What do you do?

Answer 1: I rewind time and stop the man from throwing the coffee.

Answer 2: I immediately go help my friend.

Answer 3: I get out of the booth and comfort the waitress.

Answer 4: I let my fear win, let the anxiety strap me down and wait until I can safely avoid confrontation.

Her finger reluctantly moved over to the mousepad and she placed it upon answer 2, knowing it was a lie. She had failed to protect her friend. With still movements, Max moved the cursor down to answer 4. She saw Chloe’s scared face in her head, her trembling lips and shaking eyes. She clicked once and locked the answer on number 4.

Wait for the result…

Her hand stayed still as she bit hard down on her bottom lip, causing a wave of pain through her. Every miserable feeling she had felt, surfaced for a single second, making her body numb. Her mind could no longer handle memories or predictions, leaving her with a blank mind for several seconds.

_I can’t give up until Chloe is happy again. I will finish all of this and even if it kills me… I will protect Chloe._

X: 2  ✓: 2  
Test completed.

Her eyes were focused on the screen, feeling her body getting lighter when seeing that not only was the answer correct for some reason, but the test was done. She couldn’t get herself to smile, but she felt relieved. Max looked to her left and was just about to inform Chloe about her success, but then recalled what this meant. Granted, she got the last answer right, but there would still be a consequence. She had to force her neck to turn her head once more, back at the screen. A little piece of text was written at the very bottom. She felt nothing when she started reading it.  
  
To prevent the information going public:  
//X: 2 ✓: 2//   
Max Caulfield must cause a distal radius fracture in her dominant hand. Meaning that Max Caulfield must break the wrist in her right hand. This can be achieved by falling onto a hard surface with an outstretched arm. The activity including the result must be videotaped and then sent to this number: 208-263-7569 This video has to be received before 5 minutes after the countdown has reached zero. A text will be sent to Max’s phone if the task is successful. Failure will result in the information going public after the time limit. Regardless of succession or failure, it will not be over. Blame providence.

It felt unreal, almost as a joke that nobody understood. She instinctively looked at the timer and saw the 6 minutes remaining. There had been too much worry over the amount of time, but an even an hour wasn’t enough to accept the sickness she got in her stomach when reading the consequence. What’s even worse, was that she was imagining breaking her wrist in her head. Ethan’s face suddenly popped up. His crooked mouth and the disgusting way he would look at her and his confidence, always knowing what would happen. She remembered him pulling a gun at Chloe and yelling at him. She remembered something Chloe couldn’t and never would… that he made her a monster.

“Chloe, please go downstairs,” Max said carefully, keeping down her anger the best she could.

Chloe had been facing her back to Max for a while, probably suppressing another attack. “Is it done?” she asked with a grieving gentle tone.

“Almost,” something lifted rapidly inside Max’s body. “I know this is hard on you, so please, I need you to go downstairs. Just for 10 minutes” it took all of her willpower to not tense every fiber in her being.

Her blue hair swayed when she finally turned around, taking a quick glance out the window, but quickly looking at Max. “I want help you” she spoke out, uncrossing her arms, looking so desperately miserable.

“Trust me” Seeing her indistinct face, made Max determined of the choice she had been considering about.

Chloe took a step closer, shortening the terrifying distance, both of them having a layer of fear sticking to their skin and a weight of anger pressing down onto them. Their minds had the same exact thought.

_What the fuck has happened to us?_

She could hear Chloe’s voice in her head.

_What happened to the smiling duo, that fist-bumped each other every time we did something stupid and dangerous? The friends that used to find secret hangouts and eat like animals, while playing childish games and just talking about the most pointless shit we could imagine? Even though we’re together– maybe because we’re together- we’re standing on burning ground, devoured in flames of tragedy and pain._

Chloe walked next to Max, placed a hand on her shoulder for a fleeting second and continued to walk past her.

_What happened to us?_

She stepped out of the door and closed it behind her, leaving Max alone in this cramped room. Even though she felt strangled, she needed Chloe to be gone, ignorant of what Max felt forced to do. Or at least, try to do. She pulled out her phone from her right-front pocket, saw the unread text messages she had ignored when she had felt her phone vibrating some minutes ago. Focusing on a single task helped her to tap on the camera app, seeing the screen showing the floor underneath her.

_Fall on the ground with an outstretched arm._

The idea seemed downright psychotic, but Max knew it was because Ethan wanted Max to be unable to rewind time until her wrist had healed. She had attempted to rewind time with her left hand before, and while she had felt a strange sensation while attempting to do so, she had never succeeded. How Ethan knew that, was a helpless question. Breathing through her teeth, Max walked over to the table, flipped her phone sideways, hit record and placed it against the wall below the window. She glanced at the timer on the PC and saw the 4 minutes remaining. Taking a few steps back to get into shot, she tightened her fist, feeling dirty, disgusted by filming herself doing something so sick.

_A moment of pain to ease Chloe’s… I have to try._

She kept her blue-haired friend in her mind when she lifted her right arm and stretched it out. Her heart was racing and the headache had gotten worse. There was a moment of complete silence when she slowly let herself fall to the side. Her arm was shaking, her hair slightly getting pushed to the side.

“Fuck,” she let out, stretching her right arm as much as she could while getting closer to the floor. She noticed the dimmed light from her phone, just as she felt the side of her arm hitting the floor hard, followed by the weight of her entire body with a thick thump. She exhaled deeply, knowing she had instinctively bent her arm just before the impact, cushioned her fall and failing to land on her hand. A wide pain appeared from her ribs, where her body had landed the hardest as she remained still for a while.

“Fuck,” she said again, but in a different, more self-loathing tone. The image of her friend hadn’t escaped her mind, rather, the pain had intensified the feeling she got when picturing that recognizable face. The thought of trying again passed her and knowing she couldn’t do it, annoyed her. Her thoughts were screaming ‘COWARD’ and her body responded. She stood up, her lips silently mouthing swear words, aimed at herself. She glanced at her phone still recording, seeing the small flash from the camera as she walked towards it with heavy steps before grabbing the phone firmly with her right hand. She knew she wanted to throw it, but in a few crucial seconds with restraint, she looked around the room to find the safest spot to hurl it towards. When her eyes passed the bed, she quickly pulled her arm back, before throwing her phone furiously onto the bed, making it bounce off the mattress and into the supporting wall behind, but remained intact. It only increased her anger and every vision of traumatizing events flashed behind her eyes and she could do nothing but blame herself. A sharp beeping noise from the PC filled the room, signaling time was up. In Max’s current state, her sense of restraint and foresight was completely gone and only rage remained. She clashed her teeth together to keep from yelling as she swiftly turned her body and grabbed the PC with both her arms, seeing the black text on the screen for a second before she smashed it on the ground, scattering a number of keys and shattering the screen. It caused a loud bang, instantly making Max nervous and to let go of her clouded anger. Her fingers were still shaking, but a different concern was quick to occupy her mind. She looked at the damage she had made and stayed completely silent to hear the rushing steps coming from the stairs outside the door.

“Shit”

She hurriedly pushed the broken PC and some of the keys under the table with her foot before she rushed over to the door just as the handle was being pulled down. “Max, what’s happening? Are you okay?” A concerned voice came through the open crack of the door.

“I’m alright Chloe,” Max let out with heavy breaths as she opened the door herself to see a confused expression on her worried friend. She placed herself in front of her, in an attempt to cover up the smashed pieces of Chloe’s PC and dulled the pain in her ribs with occupying thoughts. “Chloe, can we talk somewhere that is not this room?” It was partly an attempt to hide the consequences of her actions, but a concern had been filling her head. “I just feel like we’re being spied on or something”

Chloe took a second to consider that fact but came to the conclusion that Max was probably just freaked out, thus making her paranoid. “Sure Max” A confound smile appeared on her lips as she took a step back. “We can talk in the bathroom. No windows” she stated as she turned around and taking small steps towards a brown door at the other end of the hallway. “I need a shower anyway”

Max felt her body loosen up as she watched her friend sliding her fingers underneath her shirt. It stupefied her when she saw Chloe pulling the black shirt up over her head and carelessly throwing it on the floor. Turning her head over to her right shoulder, Chloe sent a gaze towards her red-faced friend. “You coming?” Her blue eyes glimmered in correlation with her lascivious voice and her mysterious grin.


	11. Never Trust the Echo

“Please tell me you didn’t do it” Chloe let out flummoxed as she was bent over the bathtub, trying to get the shower running.

“I tried, but my body just couldn’t hold it stretched” Max was sitting on the closed lid on the toilet, watching Chloe fiddling with the shower handles.

“Probably because only psychos are able to break their own wrist on purpose” Chloe’s voice was surprisingly calm, considering the uncomfortable subject, as she was spending an unusual amount of time getting the shower to run.

“You don’t think I’m a psycho?” Unsure of why she even asked that; Max found her eyes staring at her friend’s behind, slightly waving from left to right.

“You’re psychobilly, Max” Turning one of the handles, finally resulted in water pouring out from the shower head. “Got it,” she whispered just before standing up.

“That doesn’t sound like a compliment” Thinking it was some mental disorder, Max leaned back but felt oddly pleasant by sitting in this small, white room with her topless friend.

“It is. It’s a rock genre. A mixture of Rock, punk rock and R&B” Chloe took a step to the left and pushed the blue shower curtain to the side.

“Still doesn’t sound like a compliment” Feeling like she had been staring at the strap of Chloe’s black bra for an eternity, Max made a quick scan of the bathroom they were in. It was remarkable clean and white. Everything in there complimented each other. The white ceramic walls with a simple painting hanging on the wall next to Chloe, the light-grey floor tiles, a white bathtub big enough for two people and possibly a midget as well. The only thing out-of-place was the beige sink attached to the left side of the wall with a square mirror hanging above it, which Max remembered could be opened and used as a compartment containing a single toothbrush, mouthwash, a small amount of makeup and some medicine. Alfred had his own bathroom downstairs, so besides some shampoo, soap on a shelf hanging above the bathtub and a towel next to the sink, these were the only items lying around.

“Dude, you’re exactly like psychobilly. A mixture of awesome genres, making the perfect fusion. I don’t want to stand here and make a list, but, you know…” At this point, it looked like Chloe was just standing around with her back facing Max.

“Please do” Max chuckled lightly. It was not that she craved compliments– even though she could use it- but she just really enjoyed Chloe’s flustered approach when she had to compliment Max.

Making a joyful sigh, Chloe turned around and exposed her topless front to Max with a small grin. “You’re sweet, smart, have freckles and can chop onions into small pieces surprisingly quick. Making the perfect Max”

Barely acknowledging the odd compliments, Max began clapping gently with her hands between her knees, taking the opportunity to admire Chloe’s upper-body without it looking too suspicious. It was not like they haven’t seen each other in underwear before, even naked on rare occasions, but everything had changed after that talk they had yesterday. It was odd, but knowing they both liked each other, knowing they were both attracted to each other, made moments like these so much more stimulating and exciting. Her mind was way out of her head as she let out a thanks to her friend, looking where the black cup of her bra and the top of Chloe’s breasts met. A b-cup with a band size of 74, Max remembered. Similar to Max’s own bra size, a little bigger, but close enough for them being able to borrow each other’s bras if needed. The subtle white spots on her breasts, revealed that Chloe must have been a little cold, but provided a texture that shaped them in a subtle way. Max opened her eyes a little more, taking by surprise when she saw Chloe putting her hand on her back and unlocking the lock on her bra before moving the straps down her arms. Max intentionally stopped breathing as she quickly looked at Chloe’s face, seeing her looking to her right in the direction of the painting, not paying attention to Max. The black bra fell slightly down before Chloe grabbed it and took it off completely, exposing the entirety of her breasts. The only sound was the water from the shower head hitting the ceramic bathtub, sounding like a million of tiny explosions. It was clear that Chloe was intentionally looking away, that she let her friend take a look and Max was more than willing to do so. Her face was heating up slightly as she mindlessly watched her friend’s still breasts with fitting proportions and shape. Both of her eyes were focused on Chloe’s pink nipples in the center as she tensed her muscles to keep from shaking. She could only imagine the softness of her friend’s body and slim figure. Her breasts bounced slightly as Chloe moved her body, turning her head forward but looking a little above Max and placing her hands on the top of her pants. As her body was now perfectly facing Max, she took notice of Chloe’s tattoo on her right arm showing plants along with it roots, the thorns of the stem of some flowers and a yellow skull covered in it all, with some red cloth going from the bottom all the way up to her shoulder. Never before had the tattoo stood more out than when she unzipped her pants along with her panties, exposing her naked body. It was like a beautiful painting on a blank canvas, providing the essence of her character in such a surreptitious way. She looked so vulnerable but so honest in a mind-provokingly way. Only one feeling surpassed Max’s arousal and that was the mixed feeling of discomfiture and attainment. Her blue-haired friend just stood there, letting the pins of water behind her crash onto the ceramic. All the possibilities passed her and eventually escaped as Chloe sighed and turned around, briefly showing her naked body from behind and all Max could get herself to do, was to observe the naked girl. Her heart was pounding as her eyes fell down on Chloe’s behind as she lifted her right foot into the bathtub. Max forced down her instinctive desires and tried to keep calm, but couldn’t sway her eyes from every shape of the female form before her. Chloe took another step and was now standing in the bathtub, letting the water hit her feet. Her body turning sideways, showing the tight skin against her ribs as she stretched her arms, showing her curvy hips and stomach. She turned her head, looking directly at Max, showing a flustered face and an indistinct smile before she grabbed the blue shower curtain and closed it, hiding her body behind it. A nugget of gold rolling down a hill, getting lost in the river at the bottom because there was no attempt to chase after it. Now, only the silhouette of a girl placing her hands on her shoulders and letting the water hit her freely remained.

“I failed to prevent the information from going online,” Max let out without a thought, having to get it out.

“I know,” Chloe responded with a neutral tone, letting her arms fall to the side.

Max kept her attention on the silhouette of her friend, seeing only her shape and her breast’s slight movement whenever she moved.

“You do?” She was less than curious as to why, but the words just seemed placed in front of her.

“Well, you told me that you couldn’t break your own wrist– thank god- and you seem sad and have that puzzled expression on your face. That could of course just be because you saw me naked, but I’d like to think that wouldn’t make you sad” Even without being able to see it, it was obvious that Chloe had a smirk on her lips as she let her head fall down in order for the water to hit the top of her head.

A chuckle came from Max, as she too let her head fall down, looking at her own hands which had finally stopped trembling. “You don’t seem to be bothered about it though” Max was unsure if the implied questioning was bothersome, but the words were already written out for her.

Chloe bent down to reach for the bottle of shampoo standing on the corner of the bathtub. “I guess I am,” she nearly sighed when she arched her back. “But you just need to think about something that makes you happy to outshine the shit”

Max silently nodded even though it was something easier said than done. “What do I need to think about then?” The very subject brought a downhearted feeling through Max that she tried to shove away.

“Whatever makes you happy. It’s different from person to person” Chloe sounded like a confident preacher as she ran her hands with the shampoo through her hair.

“Yeah, but like… what makes you happy?” The answer she waited for was somehow predictable, but she limited it to a fleeting hope, rather than a fact.

“You” she shortly let out.

Yet, it quickly became a fact. A fact that made Max suck in her lips to keep from making a goofy smile.

“And… I also imagined something we could do after all this shit is done” Chloe continued as she was rinsing her hair while Max agreed with herself she would pay 10$ to see Chloe’s body at this very moment, but 20$ to see her expression.

“Tell me,” Max adjusted her body on the toilet seat, ready to listen to Chloe’s idea and ready to be fully on board.

Chloe waited a few seconds to respond as she took a step forward and let her head fall down once more, now letting the water hit the back of her head. “We could visit your parents and then go camping in that huge forest close-by. The one we explored once”

“With my parents?” This question was the first thing that came to Max’s mind. It was worded wrongly, but for valid reasons, her parents were rarely in the picture when she imagined spending time with Chloe.

“Sure. Why not?” The girl behind the shower curtain did a dangerous twirl and now faced the back wall.

Max lifted her index finger up to hear forehead and removed the right side of her bangs. “Then we can’t do dirty stuff” Max impressed herself as to how she was able to say that sentence without smiling, which made actually saying it, even more funny.

Chloe, clearly being amused as well, let out a loud chuckle before turning around again and bend down to turn off the running water, suddenly silencing the room. “Can you hand me a towel?”

Max was quick to stand up, still feeling giddy about her response as she scanned the small room for a towel. “I don’t know, can I?” She let out with the most galling voice she was able to do.

“God, shut up,” Chloe chuckled again, holding her arms close to her body as Max spotted a white towel next to the sink.

Max shook her head at her own comment, feeling stupid but victorious for taking the cheap shot as she grabbed the towel and walked over to the bathtub. “Here you go,” she said when she held her out her hand at the small opening between the shower curtain and the wall.

She saw Chloe’s hand reaching out, grabbing the shower curtain and pulling it slightly away before stretching her arms and grabbing Max’s.

“Did I get it?” Chloe asked, firmly holding onto her friend’s arm.

“A little off” Max raised her eyebrows but couldn’t help but to smile at the feeling of having Chloe’s wet hand holding her wrist.

“You sure? I’m pretty sure that I’ve got it” The arm suddenly began pulling, forcing Max to resist taking a small step forward.

“It’s pretty much me you’re holding onto” Max had to use a noteworthy amount of strength to not get pulled in.

“Nah, it’s the towel” Chloe continued while not letting go, forcing Max to eventually take the small step forward, now with her toes pressing against the bottom of the bathtub. “Come here towel”

Max could suddenly feel her heart speeding up, sensing the intention of her friend. “If you keep pulling, then I’ll be forced to go in there” she tried to keep the joking vibe going, but it had slowly turned into something more. Something that tightened Max’s throat and made her swallow. “Not gonna stop until I have my towel” As Chloe let out these deciding words, Max took a shaky breath and lifted her right foot, her mind getting hazy. She could feel Chloe’s grasp loosening when she had placed her right foot in the bathtub, her sock soaking up the tepid water on the surface. Half of her head was already in as she lifted her left foot, looking down for only a second to keep her balance until both her feet were planted into the now cramped bathtub. “There it is” A fervent voice passed by, as Max first saw her friends wet toes with water from her hair dripping down onto her feet. She leisurely moved her vision upwards, seeing the water skate down her bare legs until she made it to the thighs. She only briefly took a glance at her friend’s crotch, almost wanting to burst as she saw a single drop of water dripping from her vagina. She took notice to her close-cut diamond-shaped pubic hair, before hastily making a quick motion to flip her head upwards and looking directly at Chloe’s face. Her pink lips were pulled into a gentle smile, but her eyes had such an intense stare with three parts of her bangs sticking to her forehead. “What makes you happy Max?” The blue-haired girl asked with such a sincere, yet playful voice, still having her grip on Max’s right arm. One final drop of water escaped the tip of Chloe’s hair and landed between them. **  
**


	12. Half a Wing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DESCRIPTIVE SEXUAL CONTENT.  
> READER DISCRETION ADVISED.

The question hung above her, taunting her with a repetitive poking. There were answers, but none of them could compare to what she felt was necessary to say. Words simply couldn’t express her feelings.

“There is a lot of things that makes me happy Chloe,” Max was outside of her body, talking without a thought, begging to her mind that she could manage a proper answer.  
“The way you intentionally yawn loudly in the morning,” she saw images flashing before her.  
“The way you make a commotion every time a bee gets too close to you” it felt like a dream.  
“The way you kissed me back when I pressed my lips up against yours” Now there were too many things to mention, but only one important thing remained.  
“The way I know that you would take a bullet for me” She looked at the smile on Chloe’s lips and felt her whole body smiling back.

“I…” Chloe felt hesitant, wanting to say the very thing that her heart pushed up against her throat with every beat. “You’re awesome Max” a heavy feeling of despondency passed through Chloe, having avoided saying what she felt.

Yet, without a pause, a soothing voice subdued those feeling with the words “You’re awesome too”

Suddenly the atmosphere around them was stuck, silencing them both. It was obvious what should’ve had come next, but Max categorized her inability to kiss the girl before her as pure shyness. Any other reason could be problematic. However, her thoughts washed away when she felt Chloe’s thumb gently stroking her wrist. The pressure point relaxed her body, making her take a quiet breath as she took a small step closer and just as she did, Chloe gently pulled Max’s hand closer and placed it on the right side of her stomach. She felt her friend’s warm and wet skin, almost burning the palm of her hand. She lifted her head slightly, noticing the unmistakable lusting face of Chloe and could not deny her of her wishes for a second longer. With her other hand, Max grabbed her friend’s upper arm and pulled her closer before brushing her lips up against Chloe’s. It was not her intention, but she knew she was teasing her friend to unbearable limits as she breathed warmly into her mouth. She could feel her impatient trembling and the breath she let out onto Max, sounded like a whisper of burning passion. Finally, Max took a firmer grip with the hand she had on Chloe’s stomach and separated her lips slightly while pushing them up against the pair before her. It felt like an explosion when they were both finally caught in the kiss they were sharing. In rhythm, they switched between who opened their mouth slightly and every now and then, switched their heads to the other side. The sound of every separation of their lips, for whoever short it was, created the smacking sound caused by the intake of air through their closed lips. However much Max wanted to just get lost in the moment and simply respond to her body, her mind rushed in and analyzed the possible moves to do. The Involvement of tongue was one, sliding hands through her hair was another. She was quick to put those thoughts on hold however, as she solely focused on enjoying the intimacy that was being shared with her. After a few muted moans from the blue-haired girl, Max felt the hand on Chloe’s stomach being slowly moved downwards. However, the exact direction was unknown, but in the moment her heart made a beat in synch with her open-mouth kiss, she followed the lead and moved it down her abdomen as Chloe subtly spread her legs while Max continued with her hand down her friend’s groin. She shortly felt the patch of hair above Chloe’s genitalia, until her middle finger slipped in between her legs and gently touched the inner lips of her vagina. Chloe moved her head backward and took a quick breath, almost as a gasp. Her face got redder just as she let go of her grip on Max’s hand and placed both her arms around her with her hands on Max’s hip and continued to move them upwards, partially lifting her white shirt, exposing her stomach. She placed her head on her right shoulder while taking deep breaths. Max couldn’t help but to give in to the arousal as well and kept her mouth open while letting out air, as she slowly moved her hand lower until her middle finger was pressed between Chloe’s inner-lips, instantly feeling the moisture that surrounded her finger.

Shortly, Max tried to finish a single thought, but these ordinarily occupying thoughts of her seemed blocked off. Chloe’s respond to Max pleasing her, filled her with an inordinate amount of fervent delectation, only wanting her friend to hug her tighter with an impassioned embrace. She slowly moved her finger a little more down and adjusted it, so her thumb was pressing up against the inner side of Chloe’s thigh and the tip of her middle finger was pressed up against her opening, carefully pressing it inside. Max felt the sensation of being overwhelmed, not having any experience in such intimacy, but rather, she used the knowledge she had gathered through videos, text, and personal experimentation. She felt her friend’s fingernails being pressed into her back and eventually felt the wetness from Chloe’s front body, soaking through her shirt in the loose hug. With every slight twitch Max made with her finger, Chloe responded with either a moan or a tensing in her lower-body. With repeating motions, Max had begun moving the tip of her finger around the opening while pressing the lower joint up against the area of the clitoris. In pure arousal, Chloe bend slightly down, leading Max’s finger to slip inside, resulting in Chloe taking a quick breath through her nose, lifting up her bare chest and squeezing her breasts against Max. She felt the pressure, moisture, and heat surrounding her finger as she slipped it deeper inside, only to slowly pull it out again. Chloe responded with a slight trembling every time Max slipped it out and quickly slid it back in. The sensation was driving Max crazy and she could feel herself getting wet as she continued to finger her friend. In a moment of lust, she lashed her right arm around Chloe’s hip and forcefully grabbed her ass. Chloe instantly arched her back, and placed her left hand on the side of Max’s stomach and the other down the length of her thigh before moving her head in front of the girl and immediately kissed her. When Chloe carefully began sticking her tongue out every time before she closed her mouth, Max began speeding up the motions with her finger and began moving her right hand around Chloe’s bottom. The single time that Max managed to quickly close her lips down on her friends tongue, Chloe made an effort to participate with her hands as well, as she placed her right hand underneath Max’s bra strap and the other moving from her hip up to the side of her covered breast. Taking a small step to the left made a short splashy sound, feeling as if she had just stepped in a puddle. Max suddenly felt her right breast being squeezed by Chloe’s hand and in response, with her right hand, she placed three of her fingers close to Chloe’s butt crack and grabbed the cheek while pulling slightly. Both their bodies tensed and for a second, Max forgot to move her finger around. The heat around them had soared, making Max exhale, nearly panting as Chloe pulled her head back and looked at Max with a few drops of what could have been water skating down her forehead, but was more likely to be sweat. Her hair had dried slightly, now beginning to curl in various ways. Her face however, was clear from her blue bangs as the look she sent Max could be read clearly. She looked embarrassed to actually see the person who had a finger inside of her, but one thing Max noticed on Chloe’s face was the one thing that hauled all her bodily desires and made a wave of thoughts rush through her mind. The redness brought a slight sickness to her stomach. Now that Chloe’s face had been cleaned and her hair removed, the bruise on her cheek was clearly visible. It looked sore, making Max wonder why Chloe didn’t mention it. Even worse, it looked like the skin had a small wound covered up with dry blood. In a crucial and brief moment, she tried to let it go. Tried to focus on what was happening at the very moment, but every time she managed to block it away, the mental images of Chloe getting punched to the ground broke through, leading her to think about their situation with Ethan. How he may have played a part in what happened at the diner and how much danger they potentially could be in; even more, now that a bunch of information had gone online. The information they haven’t even tried to track down and delete if possible. Her speeding heart was now pumping anxiety through her body and she felt stuck in her mind, making her retract her hands, feeling indifferent by the liquid covering her finger. Chloe had quickly caught Max’s woeful expression and insecure body language and forced her arousal down.

“What’s up?” She asked through a breath and removed her hands as well.

Max took a second to answer, trying to collect herself.  
“I can’t stop thinking about Ethan”

Chloe subtly squirmed her face and pulled her lips to the side.  
“Hey, if that helps…”

Max closed her eyes and sighed.  
“Not like that… about the situation we’re in”

Quickly changing her expression and taking a quick breath, Chloe titled her head to the right.  
“Oh, thank God,” She let out relieved, but quickly flinched.  
“I mean, it sucks yeah, just glad that… you know”

“That I wasn’t thinking about him to get me going?” Max couldn’t help but give off a gentle smile.

Chloe gave a single nod and smiled as well.

“Don’t worry Chloe. I was all caught up in you. In the moment with you,” Max placed her focus on the wall behind her friend and placed her left hand on her right arm.  
“It’s just when I saw your bruise that I kinda got distracted”

Chloe met Max’s focus by stretching her head to the side, entering her field of sight. “How about I dry off and then we’ll check around to see if we can find anything about that information shit and then we’ll make a plan to make it the least uncomfortable for you?”

“Thanks Chloe, but I want you to be alright with everything too. It’s me that he’s trying to fuck with… I just feel bad for dragging you in” Max felt happy, hearing Chloe’s concerned words and how she set her needs in front of her own, but with every sliver of joy that passed through, a stronger feeling of guilt subdued it.

“Click, click Max” Chloe oddly responded while flicking a finger on the side of Max’s head.  
“You didn’t drag me in. I’m like… I would crawl my way through literal shit to be a part of this. It’s not your problem Max. It’s ours and that’s just how it is” she gently tapped her finger once more and gave off a reassuring look.

Max wanted to let it go, but it kept pushing from the inside. Her concerns becoming problems.  
“But aren’t you scared that this will just… break us?” She looked up at Chloe, clinging for a sincere answer.  
“That it will break… whatever there is between us. And if that bond breaks, it will destroy our friendship in the progress?” She saw Chloe thinking about an answer, seeing her blue eyes flickering slightly from side to side.

“No” Placing a hand on Max’s shoulder, her eyes stopped, standing perfectly still, looking confident.  
“What worried me was that we would never get to where we are now. That we would be stuck, just pretending… limiting ourselves and denying what could be, just because it would be scary. Because it is scary”

Max only had a second to smile, before Chloe continued.

“And in terms of how much clothing I am wearing right now, on a scale from zero to ten…” Chloe quickly looked down.  
“I’m hella naked”

A muffled chuckle was forced out from Max, as she quietly found herself blushing again, feeling the heavy atmosphere being lifted ever so slightly.

“And in terms of feeling warm while being naked, on a scale from zero to ten," Chloe began, but Max couldn’t help but taking a wild guess.

“You’re hella cold?” Max had indeed thought about how it was somewhat chilly in the bathroom and must have been even more so for her wet and naked friend.

Chloe looked up again and pressed her eyebrows together the best she could.  
“Nah, I’m like a four”

For a moment, the two girls shared a laugh. It shortly numbed the awkwardness and misery that had surrounded them. “I’m gonna dry off” Chloe eventually said with a smile, moved her head closer to Max and planted a kiss on her lips, telling her to take it easy just before she began looking around for the actual towel.

Max nodded, feeling her socks beginning to dry.  
“Alright, and… sorry about bringing all this up. I really enjoyed it until then” she felt she had to, at least, apologize for not bringing a satisfactory ending to their first intimate activity.

“It’s fiiiine” Chloe jokingly stretched the word as she grabbed the towel Max had dropped on the side of the bathtub. “But next time,” she said a little louder. “I’m gonna get ya’”

It played out slowly as Max gave off the last smile and stepped out of the bathtub to let her friend dry off. Taking off her socks, she thought of the conversation they just had and felt bad for what she was about to do, but however confident Chloe had been, Max knew that she was breakable, downright fragile. It was a necessity. She wanted to make one last remark before she walked out of the bathroom, but everything that she wanted to say had already been said. The remaining words floating around in her head would do no good. Quietly, she walked straight back into Chloe’s room and scanned it, trying to find her phone. She remembered throwing it somewhere, but her eyes kept focusing back on the damage she had done to Chloe’s PC. Scattered pieces on the floor that had to be cleaned up and a confession to be made. It was hard to tell how Chloe would react, but if there would be a sliver of anger or sadness in her reaction, Max agreed with herself that she would buy her friend a new and better PC. As she went through the imaginary conversation in her head, her eyes spotted Chloe’s phone lying on the table, next to some papers and an empty bottle of soda.

_Hopefully, Chloe doesn’t mind if I make a phone call with her phone._

She took a step forward, being careful not to step on anything with her bare feet.

_Why would she?_

Not wanting to have another thing to apologize for– like a giant phone bill– Max planned her words ahead of time as she grabbed the black smartphone. Even though Max’s own phone had a customized cover, she felt glad that Chloe didn’t buy into all that. The phone looked so much smoother and fancier without a giant cover, supposedly protecting the phone. She pressed the small button on the side before sliding her finger across the screen to unlock it. A background picture of chains hanging from a worn-out wall popped up, with some apps in front and the time clearly being shown. 10:58 pm. With her thumb, she opened up the dial screen and began typing in numbers. Just after pressing the call button, did she hold the phone up to her right ear and looked out the window in front of her. The street lights were lighting up the pavement below, the stars were hidden, but present. A light turned off in the house ahead.

“Hey Max”

Hearing the voice, Max let her head fall down and took a breath. I felt odd to hear his voice in a time like this and it felt even odder when she opened her mouth to speak.

“Hey, Dad. I have something important to ask of you”


	13. Ephemeral

She giggled quickly, just for a moment to get it out. She felt bad, she knew she did and for a good reason, but there was nothing that could take away the lasting memory of what had just happened. Chloe took the final step down the stairs, having dressed back into her previous attire, the black shirt and jeans. Her hair was still moist, starting to get slightly puffy, making her run her fingers through it. She kept the smile on her lips, but couldn’t help but to wonder if it was emotional happiness she felt or purely psychical happiness. She didn’t feel as if it was forced and the effects should have worn off by now, but the distinction was difficult to interpret, however crucial it could be. It slowly became uncomfortable and she could always talk to Max about it, so for now, she focused on the food she would prepare for them both. Only a few steps into the living room did she notice the running TV and the elderly man sitting peacefully in the faded green couch. “Hey gramps” Chloe let out, slightly surprised. The time was around 11 pm, so he should be home by now, but he usually went to Chloe’s room or at least give a holla when he came home during this time.

“Heyo” Alfred nearly shouted, but kept his attention on the television, showing a middle-aged man holding a speech in front of a smaller audience and some cameras.

“Whatcha watching?” Taking a step to the right, she peeked into the kitchen, wondering if his answer would be short enough for her to start walking towards it.

“Some douche trying to justify ruining a man’s life” His answer was short but intrigued Chloe to the extent of asking for details.

“Why would he ruin a man’s life?” She asked, standing her ground and crossing her arms, vaguely trying to listen to the sounds coming from the small television.

“Well, he wouldn’t. But he wants other people to do so. All because of some fox” Alfred put a fist up to his mouth and coughed twice.

“A fox?” Chloe managed to hear to the middle-aged man say something about a grey-zone.

Alfred lifted his shoulders slightly and leaned back in the couch. “This young man owns a farm with rabbits, pigs and chickens. He had a problem with a fox running around his barn, occasionally killing some chickens. I swear it’s straight out of some short-story” taking a quick pause to listen to crowd making an applause, Alfred tugged down the sleeves of his black-red sweater.  
“He eventually ended up killing the fox. Walking a few feet away from his farm with a rifle, saw the fox, shot it dead. Unfortunately for him, this species was endangered and while you are allowed to kill them in the case of protecting livestock, a bunch of people are claiming he went out of his way to hunt down the fox, which is illegal”

Chloe quickly swiped her fingers across her wrists and moved her hip to the side.  
“So now his life is ruined?”

“Most likely” Alfred eventually turned his head to look at Chloe, showing his red eyes behind his reading glasses.  
“See, the man was not arrested. The case was either deemed justified or too small of a case to really do much about, which in this situation, is an unfortunate thing for him. People are so quick to play justice-warriors. So damn quick to get offended or feel mistreated on behalf of others; even foxes” Alfred kept his stare at Chloe while scratching the side of his finger with his thumb.  
“They began harassing the man. Sending death threats, putting him out of business by making him a public figure of fox hunting. Won’t let the poor thing get a moment of peace. Now, is that justice? Even if he did by definition hunt the fox, who in the world benefits from tormenting this young man with a wife and children? They just want to seem like they care, want to feel like decent human beings, by getting blinded in this twisted idea that they are better people because they drive a man into a life filled with fear of getting killed. And now this guy here on the pedestal, this giant suck-up that is in politics is trying to appeal to this narrowed-minded, imperceptive group of people, by promising to bring justice. The justice of killing a man”

Chloe could feel a gust of anger passing her. “Wow, gramps. You really got some beef with subjective justice,” she let out slightly flabbergasted, watching Alfred’s intense eyes and a lazy body language.

“There is no such thing as objective justice Chloe, and I may be in the wrong, but suggesting to send a man up to God before his time and making his life on earth a living hell, is not something I approve of. Heck, my friend Hector shot a fox too and nobody lost their mind. I’m telling you, the damn media directs people’s hate” Finally turning his head, Alfred reached for the remote, seeing as the speech was nearing the end.

“Oh yeah, you and grandma had that little farm some years back. Was Hector one of your neighbors?” Vague images of a worn-out, but cozy, red farm appeared in Chloe’s mind, recalling the occasional boring visits her and her parents had.

“That’s right” Alfred let out and leaned back, getting into the proper position of an elderly telling her grandchild about his youth. Something Chloe was not too interested in, but she loved to see the glow in her grandfather’s eyes when he was reminiscing about the past.  
“230 acres that farm was. An average small-family farm. We bought that farm during fall, 1972. It had not been worked for over forty years. The old pastures had turned back into mixed hardwood forest. We purchased three piglets, two of which became the base of our breeding herd. Those pink things multiplied into over forty pigs!” Alfred forgot about the remote in his hand and stared blankly in the air. “It was often quiet. It was tough, but just what your grandmother and I needed. She always baked a bunch of those raisin cookies when you came visiting with your mom and dad. Remember how she baked a batch of chocolate cookies just for you, because you thought raisins tasted weird? You were afraid they were sundried bunny poo” A distant smile on lips kept his hands steady.

“Yeah, I remember” Chloe chuckled lightly, crossing her arms closer to her body.

“You would gang up with our dog, Little Moo, and chase the chickens around. Until one day, the chickens fought back and Little Moo stood behind you in the doorway with a worried face as you had that grumpy look on your face. Never bothered a single chicken again after that day”

Chloe watched her grandfather closely, seeing his eyes moving in half-circles and his smile gently fading. She kept perfectly quiet.

“I was forced to sell the farm when Beth left. She was the one taking caring of the animals. She was so gentle with them… and you. She always gave you space and knew what would cheer you up. I could never do that. You seemed like such a mystery to me and I was too eager to get on your good side” He blinked once, snapping out of the past and unintentionally shaking his right hand.  
“Even though it’s the worst way possible to get a second chance, I’m glad that you’re around again”

Chloe squeezed her arms up against her body and looked down, feeling a brief wave of heat under her eyes.  
“You want some soup?” Almost a whisper.

…

“No, and for the record, Chloe doesn’t even get high anymore” While walking in a limited fixed pattern, Max had a tired look on her face, talking to her overly-worried dad.

“No. It gives her anxiety. But it has nothing to do with that” It was difficult to wrap it up and every second that passed made Max more paranoid of Chloe barging in.  
“It’s not because of Chloe; we’re closer than ever” It popped into her head, but now was not the time to have what could only be a long talk if she revealed how close she and Chloe actually were.  
“I just need to get out of here for a while. To come back home” She listened, all while her heart was beating in an uncomfortable rhythm, one she couldn’t control. She heard her father’s words, but what she focused on, was the last conversation she had with Chloe. However many times she had insisted that she wanted to be a part of it, how she didn’t feel dragged into it all, a drilling feeling of guilt tore through her and there was no way she could put Chloe through this kind of danger again. Not now. Not when she was more vulnerable than she had ever been.

“You can’t come tomorrow?” Max knew the distance was great between her and her parents, but she couldn’t help to feel the first touch of anger.  
“Alright, fine. The day after tomorrow then? In the morning?” Hearing the slightly distorted voice of her father trough Chloe’s phone made the exchanging words seem unnatural.  
“Evening it is then… Yeah, I will tell her” She took the final step in the pattern and stopped before Chloe’s messy bed and placed her left hand in her back pocket.  
“Thanks, dad. I’ll talk to you later” she closed her eyes and sighed.  
“Bye”

She held the phone close to her ear until she heard her father hanging up. Though it wasn’t completely necessary, Max flipped the phone in her hand and used the light from the screen to properly navigate through the dark room. She wasn’t sure of the time, and even though she had a phone with a clock in her hand, her desire to know the time was too insignificant to be bothered. Neither did she feel like turning on some lights. Walking in the darkness felt comforting in a disturbing sort of way. The light flashed on Chloe’s desk with the usual junk lying around. She turned the phone slightly to the right, lighting up some posters. One showing outlines of old leaves, with the text “VISION VALLEY” underneath. Another one showed the thick outline of a circle with what appeared to be a single sperm moving closer to the center in the downright corner. No text. She turned the phone a little more to the right and then she noticed it again. The single nail hammered into the wall with nothing underneath, but a frame of dust.

_I remember a picture or something hanging here. She must have taken it down recently._

Max turned her head and looked around, quickly using the light to scan the room.

_I don’t remember what it was, though._

She walked a few steps to her left when she noticed a dim light appearing from under Chloe’s bed. Unexpectedly, Max’s body began tensing when her curiosity began rising. The darkness must have made the room seem creepier than she expected. Placing Chloe’s phone on the bed, she got down in a kneeling position and moved her head close to the ground to look under the bed. It was difficult to see anything, but clear to see some black shapes lying around. The air suddenly felt dense as she stretched her arm in under the bed to see if she could get a hold of something. Blindly, she began moving her hand around slowly, surrounded by the complete silence and the hair-raising atmosphere. Her heart made a heavy thumb as her hand made contact with some fabric. She placed it between her fingers and began pulling to get a closer look, but it didn’t take much for her to see it was simply a gray shirt. Pulling it a little closer, she noticed the recognizable scent of Chloe when she had it close to her face. It briefly calmed her, but before she could enjoy the scent further, a vague light caught her attention. It was close to the wall, but nearly within reach. Max decided to let go of the shirt and began stretching her arm once more, having to look down to move her body a little closer. She could feel a warm, steely object against the tip of her fingers. She adjusted her legs and shuffled her body around to move half her body under the bed until she finally had a firm grasp on the object.  

“What’s soup?!” Chloe exclaimed loudly as she stepped inside.

Max’s body instinctively shot up in surprise, smashing her head up against the wooden planks of the bed, but from Chloe’s perspective, all she could see was a pair of legs, a bed getting pushed slightly up and a muffled “Dammit”

There was a moment of silence while Chloe was holding two bowls of soup, one in each hand, and Max lying still, either having fainted or being too embarrassed to come out. Chloe nodded quietly to herself as she walked over to the table and placed down the two bowls, before turning on the lights. She stuck her tongue in-between a space in her teeth and continued to walk over to the bed.

“Hey, Max,” She said calmly.

“Hey Chloe,” She responded with the same tone of voice.

“You got a bed on your head” Chloe stated, sticking her hands in her front pockets.

A small growl appeared from under the bed as Max began awkwardly shuffling her body around to get out, still holding the object in her hand; the object that was now clearly recognizable.

“So, what are you up to?” Chloe asked with a shrug as Max’s head popped out from the under the bed.

“Checking for monsters” She answered as she placed her palms on the floor and pulled herself up.  
“Quick, check the closet” Max continued with an unamused voice before dusting herself off.

Chloe lowered her head, pressed her chin against the top of her chest and chuckled.  
“Didn’t find anything?”

Finally standing straight up, Max removed the bangs from her forehead. “Just my phone” She stated as she showed the small, black phone in her hand.  
“I guess it fell under the bed when I threw it” Max flipped it and took a look at the screen.

_Oh, it never actually stopped recording. Must by why it’s so warm…_

Pressing the home button before hovering her finger over the button on the side, Max noticed 4 notifications. 3 from Twitter and 1 from Facebook.  
“Oh shit,” she let out quietly as she checked her Twitter account.

“Hm?” Chloe let out as her eyes shot up.

Max began scrolling with her thumb, getting increasingly worried as the phone was lighting up her concerned face.  
“Some guy tagged me on Twitter” She let out almost as if she had expected it.

Chloe read Max’s worried face and got ready for the worst.  
“Ethan?” She guessed.

Max kept her attention on the screen as a gentle thumb was heard coming from downstairs but was ignored.  
“No, not unless he uses a fake name” Reading it through one more time before looking up, Max tensed her hand and turned the screen so Chloe could read it.

So weird. Just found a bunch of personal, like, really personal information on @MaxCaulfield   
should I report it? I don’t think she’s in on it. #CrazyWorld  
https://www.hightail.com/file232rdate?rid=si-93

“Fuck” Chloe whispered before turning around, feeling a poking in her arms and a fire in her stomach.  
“I’m gonna fucking kill him”


	14. A World of Miracles and We're Staying Home

"Chloe"  
Her voice was heavy and her mind worried, but her body didn't respond to these emotions. The lack of energy prevented the anxiety to be shown through body-language, making her feel stuck in her mind. A terrifying feeling of immobilization.  
"I'm so tired" Max sighed. She couldn't handle it anymore. She had been tired for a while, it was not surprising, well-knowing that she missed hours of sleep last night, given that she stressed about her relationship with Chloe, but when she knew something prevented her from sleeping, it created an opposite reaction from her mind and body, her mind telling her to stay awake, but her body expelling every ounce of energy, making her feel like she weighed a ton.

Chloe who had grabbed Max's phone, looked intensely at it, over-analyzing every word posted.  
"But, Max. We need to check the link, and you have like, 3 other notifications that could be something similar or maybe even worse" her hands were tense and her eyes were nearly shooting beams of concentrated fire.  
"If we don't do something about this," she quickly looked up at Max.  
"You could be in serious-"and just when her eyes saw the expression on her friend, she stopped talking. Her mouth remained open, but not a single breath passed through. Chloe noticed the slight bags under her eyes, her red eyes and still body, casting a lazy shadow on the wooden floor behind her. A thought passed her by and even though there had been no talk about it, this was the time that it really hit her. The tired, brown-haired girl before her, was her girlfriend. The one person whose well-being was more important than her own, and the only one who had watched her stuck on the ground and was able to bring her up and make life so much more than what could be imagined. And that person before he was in agony.

"Go to bed," she whispered without changing her expression.  
"Go to bed," she said again, only louder to emphasize how she meant it.

She saw Max look up with her tired eyes, looking confused.

"I'll… check the link and the notifications" her body felt numb and the words came from nowhere.  
"I'll make sure everything is alright" she took a step close to Max and let her hand with the phone fall down her side as she placed the other on the side of her friend's face. "Don't worry" she let out with a breath as she moved her head closer, only giving Max a single second to prepare before Chloe lightly pressed her lips up against hers.  
Closing her eyes and moving her hand down Max's face, Chloe held her lips for a few more moments, embracing every second of it when Max kissed her back. It filled her with determination. To keep everything in order. Chloe moved her hand quickly down and nudged her index finger against Max's before locking it around. She slowly moved her head back and shortly stared into the big brown eyes before her, shuffling slightly from side to side.

"Thanks Chloe" Max said quietly as she sent an alluring stare back.  
She didn't want to. To get Chloe to do the work, but she could see that it would calm her and she felt it would calm herself as well.  
She regrettably slipped her finger out from the comforting grab, took a step back and gave a small nod before turning around towards the bed. She heard Chloe tapping on the phone just as she sat down on the left side of the bed and sighed. The light in the room revealed the gray shirt on the floor more clearly. It was the shirt Chloe sometimes wore as pajamas. It was something she never questioned, even though Max felt more comfortable sleeping in her underwear, and tonight was no exception as she grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head and aimed for the gray shirt when she threw it on the floor. She took at glance a Chloe who had her back turned to her, the phone sending a blue light onto her face as Max proceeded to loosen her pants and lazily kicking them off. She then turned her attention on herself and looked down her body. The black bra she was wearing, didn't fit her too well. It was not too big nor too small, but the cup didn't fit her breasts, but it was comfortable nonetheless, so she paid no mind to it. Finally, she took her socks off with the help of her feet and laid down on her back on the bed and felt the soft fabric up against her body, making her feel even more tired.

_How is this even going to end? Either we somehow make Ethan give up, or I… give in and do as he asks. Even though I still don't know what his goal actually is._

 As she closed her eyes, Max ran the palm of her hands along the bed, then curled her thumb and pressed down on it with her other fingers.

_He wants to make sure I use my powers correctly, but what the fuck does that even involve? He doesn't even want me to not use my powers at all… he wants me to use them for situations he deems justified. I guess. Is my morality really that bad?_

 She began adding more pressure on her thumb, eventually cracking the knuckle.

_And when will he even be happy? When I think like him? When I become… someone I'm not. It can only end with me going insane, him giving up… or Chloe actually killing him._

 A tenuous chill ran down her spine just as Chloe turned around with her arms down her body and the phone loosely in her right hand. Her face quickly shifted from looking perplexed, to showing a calm expression.  
"It was nothing. The notifications was just some random, unrelated stuff" Chloe gave a sideways smile as she began walking close to the bed with lazy steps.

Max lifted her upper-body and straightened her back.  
"What about the link on Twitter?" There was no hint of relief in her voice, only concern.

"It was nothing. Just a blank page. It must have been Ethan trying to freak us out" Chloe placed the phone on the table before walking to the right of the bed and moving a glass on the nightstand a little to the right for no apparent reason. "Aren't you relieved? You can relax now" her voice was hollow and too easy to pick apart.

Max took a breath though her nose and lifted her right shoulder slightly. "Yeah… thanks Chloe. I appreciate it" Even though she saw through her, knowing that Chloe had lied, she let go of the tension and put her legs up on the bed. A silence entered the room as Chloe sat down on the other side of the bed as well and began taking off her pants.

"No worries. We should just get some sleep, right?" Chloe turned her head and sent a fake smile to her friend, one she accepted with a fake smile back as she lifted up the covers and put her legs under it.  
Chloe quickly followed and got under the covers as well, before kicking her socks off and leading them off the edge of the bed and in the end, keeping her black shirt on.  
"Don't you need to remove your makeup before falling asleep?" Chloe questioned without even looking at Max.

"I guess. It's just some eyeliner and a little powder though" She responded while waiting for her body heat to heat up the duvet she was lying under. She kept her eyes open and took notice to how the lights were still on, but decided not to question it.

"It's weird dating someone who wears makeup" Chloe stated as she put her right hand under the pillow and flipped her head to the side, now looking at Max.

"Why?" Max smiled and turned her head as well, meeting Chloe's still stare while pondering about the word 'dating'.

"It just really drives home the point I guess"

Max was unsure what she meant exactly, but felt it would be touchy to further question it for some reason, so she pulled her lips to the side and stayed quiet.

"You're a girl, Max" Chloe continued and saved Max from having to ask her to elaborate.

"So are you" She lifted one eyebrow as her face slightly lit up.

"So am I"

Max suddenly understood what Chloe meant and it made her wonder about it as well, but it only took a few seconds to reach a decisive answer.  
"It's rad, right?" Max chuckled as she suddenly felt as if the bed was too big, given that Chloe was barely within arm length of Max.

"Are you actually …" Chloe paused her sentence and made a hesitant look.  
"I guess it doesn't matter" not giving a chance for Max to participate in the unknown conversation, Chloe turned her had back and stared up at the ceiling.

Max had an idea of what Chloe was about to say, but she was too tired to try getting it out of her and didn't want to bother her anyway; instead, she looked at the side of her friend's face with half-closed eyes.

"Ehm… this probably sounds stupid, but…" Chloe continued with her nervous voice, as she pulled the covers a little down with her feet.  
"I can't fall asleep without music"

Max closed her right eye and rubbed it gently, processing Chloe's words. She first thought to question as to why this was the case, but a more valid and less personally investigating question came to mind.  
"But didn't you fall asleep last night without any music?"

Chloe's changing facial expression, revealed that it was not a comfortable question.  
"I kinda waited to you fall asleep and then turned on the stereo to a low volume" she admitted, squirming her body and looking away embarrassed.

"But I was awake for like an hour before I fell asleep and I didn't hear you get up" Max tried to catch the attention of her face, but she could only see the side of her head and her messy blue hair.

"I know… I stayed awake as well to make sure you were sleeping" Chloe placed her right hand on her stomach and lifted up her shirt slightly while adjusting her position.  
"I didn't want to bother you"

Barely thinking about it, Max smiled tiredly and silently shuffled a little closer to her embarrassed friend.  
"It doesn't bother me Chloe. If you want music, then play some music" Just as she got close enough to her friend that only a bendy cat could barely lay between them, Chloe turned her head and looked back at Max.

"Think you could get up and chose something?" She suddenly requested, not showing any hints of surprise of the small distance between them.  
The shadow created from the light hitting the side of Chloe's face, casted a darkness down on her, hiding the bruise on her cheek and her solicit eyes.

"Sure Chloe. I could use some jams as well" Max had a small grin on her face just lifted her upper-body and began sliding out of the covers and moving to the edge of the bed. "But don't think that I don't know that you want me to do it, just so you can look at me in my underwear" She sent a quick smile towards her friend, before getting up and stretching her legs.

"That's not it at all" Chloe smiled back with a sarcastic undertone in her voice, watching her friend taking a few steps away from the bed.  
"But doing a sexy pose or something, might help me sleep tighter" A teasing in her voice and her joyful expression was irresistible, as Chloe made no attempt to hide her line of sight towards Max's black panties.

"Oh, sure. Anything to help you sleep better. Something like this?" Max said in an obvious forced lewd voice as she arched her back, placed her hands on her hips and stuck out her bottom in the direction of Chloe, who quickly pulled up her upper-body slightly with a lit face of happy excitement, watching her friend's rear gently waving from side to side.

"Something like that, yeah. Maybe you could just… turn around for no apparent reason" Chloe made a poor attempt, but Max enjoyed the way she could excite Chloe, and for some reason, she began feeling slightly excited herself when she turned her body around and looked at Chloe trying not to make a flustered face.

"Happy?" Max lifted an eyebrow as she smiled with puffy lips and pulled her arms close to her body as she bend slightly forward, leading her breasts to be pushed together and the neckline of her bra to be lifted.

Chloe began looking completely lost with a distant stare and red cheeks. "That bra really looks like it's gnawing. That can't be comfortable" She continued to try her luck as her eyes were pinpointed on one particular area.

"Says the girl sleeping in a shirt" Max smiled just as she turned around with loose arms and walked towards the stereo, leaving Chloe taunted and desiring, and even though it was rough to get worked up and then shot down, Chloe couldn't help but to give off a quiet chuckle as she leaned back down on the backside of the bed, amazed by both Max's moxie and cheekiness.

"So, what do you usually listen to when you want to sleep?" Max questioned as she made her way to the corner of the room, with the black stereo box placed on a single shelf attached to the wall.

"Just what I usually listen to I guess. Maybe some grunge?" Chloe suggested, pulling the duvet over most of her body and stretching her arms down her side.

"Oh, like that band, what was it called… Snow White Restrained?" Max stared in Chloe's direction with a completely blank stare and a face that made it seem like she was floating around in space with no objective.

For this one, Chloe had to take a pause with only her head popping out from the covers before she took a breath.  
"Do you mean Alice in Chains, Max?" Coping with the unbelievable guess, her voice was rusty and her eyes closed themselves.

"Yeah! That one!" Max perked and let off a goofy smile, as if she had just won the 'close one' award.

Chloe had to keep in her laughter, seeing how Max tried, but inevitably knew close to nothing about Chloe's music. "Mhm. Sure, put that on" she let out with a voice of acceptance as she made small nods.  
"And then swing your onion booty back to bed" she just added before turning her body to the side and throwing her arm up in the air.

Max deliberately decided to ignore that sophisticated remark and looked around the cd-covers either stacked in a bundle of scattered around the floor. On top of the bundle laid a cover showing the words "CAGE THE ELEPHANT" with different colors and a font making it look like strokes from a brush on a white background, and underneath, red letters saying "THANK YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY"  
She looked around some more, until she saw the familiar cover, showing a transparent girl lying under some sand in the desert, with the band name "ALICE IN CHAINS" at the top, with the album name "DIRT" underneath. These artistic covers always went right by Max's head, making her wonder if there was actually any meaning to it at all. She bend down in the least revealing way she was able to and picked it up before opening it and placing the disc in the cd-played hooked up to the stereo. Immediately a fast-playing and heavy bass started playing with the drums following and a man quietly singing "Knowing me broken by my master. Teach thee on child of love hereafter"

_Seems just like Chloe's kind of music._

Turning around, revealed that Chloe was already subtly moving her head around to the beat. As she began walking back a mixed sense of bliss and agitation passed through her. She wanted to appreciate this moment of tiredness, with weird music playing and a weird girl waiting for her to lie beside her. But there was one matter that has to be attended to before she could fall asleep.  
As Max got back in the bed and under the warm covers, she caught Chloe's attention, making her stop her soft head-banging and looked earnestly into her eyes.  
"There's a high chance we'll meet Ethan again" Max said with a neutral tone, and it was clear to see Chloe disliked the subject being brought up, but she kept her attention and listened seriously to her friend.  
"And when we do, I want us to be prepared" She began moving a little closer, noticing Chloe's right hand resting in the middle of the bed.  
"We need to have a plan" She said quietly with a down-hearted voice as she placed her hand onto Chloe's and held it loosely.

Chloe quickly looked at their hands that were now locked together before looking back at Max.  
"Should I bring my gun?" Chloe asked with an intense undertone as she tensed her right arm.

"You should" Max was quick to respond as she bend her legs and looked past Chloe to see the naked, grey wall behind her.  
"But for other reasons than you might think"

The music being played slowly began fading out, with the last words being sung.  
"Have I gone and left you here alone? If I would, could you?" and then it stopped.


	15. The Envious Seraph

“Yeah, so, the blinking is unwanted” She stated with a sour tone as she gently traced the rim of the eye with the black pencil.

“It’s ‘cause you’re breathing like a panting dog into my eyes” And Max responded with a snarky tone as she could feel her eyes beginning to burn, having to wait an eternity for Chloe to add the eyeliner.

“What do you want me to do? Breathe through my nose like a freak?” She raised her eyebrows as she moved the pencil away from the eye, used the pause the shuffle a little to the side on her bed, and then moved on to the next.

Max decided not to play into Chloe’s sarcastic funhouse and readied herself instead by opening her eyes, allowing her friend the access. Normally, Max wouldn’t be one to put on eyeliner when there was no formal gathering to attend, but the nostalgia was real, feeling glad to be doing each other’s makeup like they did when they were younger. Chloe would always get a little bossy about it, but she always did a surprisingly good job. Expect on the 2007 Halloween disaster. Max wanted witch makeup. Chloe had other plans. Gaudy plans. But her re-earned trust was shining through like the morning glow from outside Chloe’s window. The birds that normally enveloped Max in murderous compulsions actually brought a calming atmosphere to the whole event. 

“I hope this is fine,” Chloe said with a quiet voice as she pulled a little back to look at the result, which turned out to place her face into a scrunched expression. She was smiling, but it was as if she was trying to force it down. Something that made Max slightly nervous.

“Is it alright? Does it look dumb?” Turning her head a little, Max felt a shyness rumbling in her stomach, making her curl up a little when Chloe’s weird smile didn’t fade, and it took too long until she responded.

“You look hot,” She eventually admitted, though it looked difficult for her to do so. Maybe it played in with the fact that it was still morning and neither of them had gotten dressed yet. Chloe was wearing a slightly big black shirt, the one she always insisted sleeping in, while Max was still in her underwear.

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic” Max smiled with a suspicious glare in her eyes, usually wary of every compliment that came out of Chloe’s mouth.

To that, she simply held her gaze on her friend’s eyeliner. Or that was what Max believed until she realized that she was actually looking straight into her eyes. “I’m not” she eventually replied more confidently.

Slightly, or more accurately, extremely flustered, Max’s smile widened to the point where she no longer had control over it, and she had to look away from embarrassment with a light giggle escaping her mouth. “Stop being sweet. It messes with my head” She muffled out before deciding to fall to the side from lack of better ideas, landing softly on the softness of the soft bed.

“You should have a warning sign tattooed on your forehead so people don’t touch you and just burst into flames” Chloe let out with a voice that had changed to dramatic as she mimicked flames with her hands to the best of her ability. Adding a “whoosh” sound to go along.

Turning on her back, the response was purposely delivered at the end of a pause. “Ah. Because hot also means warm. That’s funny” And she didn’t even bother using her sarcastic tone, not feeling the necessity.

“Yes” And neither did Chloe, as her voice was as serious as it had been all night, making Max shake her head as much as she could, lying in the bed, and presented a small smirk.

“But thanks. Perhaps I should consider wearing it more often…” She contemplated while placing her right hand on Chloe’s thigh and began sliding two fingers up and down the smooth skin.

Chloe watched this activity for a while, trying not to give away how it actually tickled her. It was her turn to get a marvelous makeover anyway.   
“Okay, now do me” Without moving too much, she leaned back to grab some utensils on the nightstand.  

“Fiiinally!” Max let out in relief with her arms in the air, her voice clearly insinuating how she was referring to something that was not so makeup related.

“Yeah, no, do my makeup” She clarified to the great disappointment of Max while she waved an eyeshadow brush in front of her face.  

“Aww…” Although pouting, a smile couldn’t help but show itself as well.

“But if you do a good job, I’ll let you touch a boob” And the brush was like a lure on a fishing hook as she revealed this enticing challenge with an equally enticing voice, making Max seize the opportunity and grab the bait.

“Score” She let out as she got up and prepared to make art.

And in the next couple of minutes, it seemed to be going nicely, as the mascara had been put on with no issues, the eyeliner was already there to begin with and she was now working the lip brush.

“So how long was David actually in the military?” After a little blow on the brush to make it seems as if she knew what she was doing, Max casually continued their conversation.

“I’m not sure. More than a day, less than forty years” Chloe responded with a shrug before pouting her lips.

“That hardly narrows it down” And back at it again she was.

“Long enough to make the whole world seem like a war zone to him” She muffled out as to not move her lips too much.

“I wonder what he was like before all that. Maybe he was the kind of guy, sipping coffee in a café with a scarf on” The image she got in her head made her feel somewhat cozy for some reason. Although it was probably a stretch.

“I doubt it. He always had a thing for being an authority. He was a prison guard for a brief period before he enlisted”

“Really? You’ve talked with him long enough to get to know his background and all?” Gently tracing along the lips, Max did feel a little surprised by the thought of David and Chloe actually… talking.

“Well, it was more like ‘If you don’t get a hold on life, Chloe, you’re going to end up in prison. And I was a prison guard, so I know the world in there is a lot worse than how you think it is out here’” Her voice went deep along with the finger of shame she held up to capture the character.

“Sure sounds like him” The brush was now put away and she looked at her work. Not a bad job, if her unprofessional verdict meant anything.

“But we actually did have a conversation about it. Without yelling at each other, if you can believe that” Gently pursing her lips, it could be seen in Chloe’s veering eyes how she began recalling a memory.   
“He told this story about some weird scrawny guy who was arrested for murdering his friend. Ex-friend, I guess” She added with a tilt of her head as Max put the brush away and began reaching for something else in the little kit while listening to her friend.   
“He was extremely quiet and often sat in the corners of the prison, just staring out into the open as if he was in a different world inside of his head. So, one day where they get to go outside in the open area by the prison for exercise and all that, David sees that quiet guy jumping up and down by a tree. David watched him for a while, realizing that he was trying to grab one of the leaves on the tree, but never being able to jump high enough. So as time passes, they eventually have to go inside again, and David was curious as all hell and asked the guy why he was trying to grab a leaf, not really expecting a response.”   
Chloe’s eyes had gone from swerving to a still fey gaze, so Max was extra careful when she gently resumed her work and began adding the finishing touches to Chloe’s dreamy face while nodding along.    
“But the guy actually looks at him and says ‘When I was younger and walking home from school, there was this tree on my way, and every day I would jump up and grab one. I jumped so high that it felt like I was flying, and it made me feel so free. Just abandoning earth for a second, and forgetting all my troubles. I just wanted to feel like that again. But the tree is too tall…’”   
It was peculiar how Chloe actually seemed to step into the shoes of some guy she had never met as she told the story. There was definitely potential for a great story-telling career.   
“And after that conversation, he and David would talk every now and then. Like, just life and shit. He found out the guy had murdered his friend in an argument that had gotten out of hand. Somehow it ended up that the guy knocks him square in the head, sending him down for a never-ending count” Her eyes closed like the curtain at the end of a theater show.

“Wow,” Max let out with enough breath that he head bopped a little back.

“Yeah… Weird how a single moment of anger can change one’s life forever”

“You think that was the lesson David tried to teach you with that story?” It could not be misunderstood that David was the kind of person who loved to teach other people proper manners, but the way Chloe told this story, it had seemed a little more introspective than a rebuking in disguise.   
  
Chloe simply made a click with the side of her mouth as her eyebrows were pulled up. “I don’t know. It certainly didn’t stop me from being angry at him”

“I guess not” Not confident with throwing in opinions, Max silently traced a finger along Chloe’s face to smudge the make up a little bit.

The touch seemed to calm Chloe as well when she looked down with sangfroid and a collected reach for a breath.   
“I kind of wished he would have told me more stories like that, though. Just talking chill with each other was actually nice”   
Maybe she had tried to hide her eyes, but the truth was in her voice. There was an attachment of hurt and her words stung like the thorns on a rose, even though they shouldn’t. Even though that was not the intention. 

“I’m done” Max eventually said free the clutter of words in her head.

This made Chloe look back up, seemingly just in time before she had locked herself in a spiral.    
“Oh? How do I look?” Raising her chin slightly to present herself, Max smiled to herself by double-checking her response.

“Lukewarm”

Chloe’s face nearly melted into a sour expression as her head fell back down.   
“That hurts more than it probably should…”

Although she enjoyed the light teasing, the simulated sad face on her friend was just too much to bear.   
“You look cute” Max chuckled, beginning to put all the fine tools back into the kit.

“Cute?” And thus her face went from sadness to dramatically offended, and Max saw the bullet coming straight for her.

“I mean badass” She quickly corrected.

“Fuck yeah”

And so the bullet was dodged.

The face Chloe was now pulling was one Max could stare at for hours. And in this tranquil space, it almost felt as if she did. Which in turn, made her slightly nervous when she began creating a false buildup from the shared smiles.   
  
“So are we going anywhere today to flaunt our pretty faces?” The words slipped out of her mouth to ward off the nerves of her fabricated future.

Chloe loosened her shoulders as if she had had an inner struggle with herself as well and let out a quiet snort.   
“We are. Come along my restive friend” With a voice suited for adventure, she bounced a few times on the bed to get the momentum needed to push herself off and place her feet on the ground, offering a hand to her friend which she promptly accepted.

There would never be a dull moment with a girl like that nearby.   
  
…   
  
“Alright. Would you rather sleep with a robot with Gordon Ramsay’s personality programmed into it, or mow the entire lawn of the white house all by yourself?” Chloe shifted in her seat as she bit down into the gum in her mouth with the front row of her teeth.

“Damn…” As she pulled to the left of the steering wheel, Max pinched her eyes together, pulling her face into an expression of complete focus as she was trying to imagine both scenarios.

“Am I using a normal push mower?”

“Yes, but it has a low fuel capacity, so you would have to refuel it several times”  
The light shined brightly through the windshield of the car, making Max close her right eye while giving more gas, driving through the straight road of the neighborhood.

“Do I, at least, get any breaks?”  
Chloe looked to the side, watching the passing houses.

“No. You are being watched the entire time until the job is finished” she answered before scratching the side of her stomach.

“What about the robot? How long would the… session take?” Max found it increasingly difficult to reach a decision as she shifted gears and slowed down when reaching a turn.

“At least 45 minutes, with several positions” Chloe barely had time to finish the sentence before Max had to question further.

“What about the penis? Is it like… made of flesh and all?”

Chloe chuckled while she looked back down at the phone in her hands and continued to scroll through some pages.   
“No, it’s made of metal, but it works just like a normal one”

Max pressed her lips together while letting a car pass her before she turned to the right.   
“But I think it’s pretty clear that I don’t even want it to have a penis”

“Tough luck” Chloe smiled as she glanced at the time on the phone, seeing they had only been on the road for eight minutes.

“Since it has Gordon Ramsay’s personality, does it criticize me all the way through?” Max shifted back to third gear, as she took a quick glance to her right, seeing Chloe being openly amused by the hypothetical situation.

“That depends on how well you’re doing, but there is a high chance that it will yell at you an unreasonable amount of times”

Max listened to the rustling the car made while awakening the deepest parts of her brain to decide on the least uncomfortable scenario.   
”Will the president thank me for mowing the lawn?”

Chloe who kept her attention on the phone kept her neutral expression while neglecting to chew on her gum.   
“Yyyes” she said with an unsure voice.

Wondering was needed no longer.   
“Well then, you’ve got yourself a freshly-mowed lawn” Tilting her head to the right, Max felt satisfied by her decision.

“Solid” Chloe quickly let out as she loosened her body and took a breath before looking at her friend, particularly at the subtle tear in the sleeve of her hoodie.  
“Hey, by the way, about those files things on Twitter. I’m sorry that I lied about not finding any information on them. I just thought you deserved to relax for a change”

Max kept her attention on the road but tried to send a smile in Chloe’s direction.   
“I know. Thanks” Even though she assured Chloe it was alright, she was still doubting whether or not she would have preferred Chloe just saying the truth.   
“How are you coming along, though? Find anything useful?” Max asked, having let Chloe go through her Twitter and Facebook account to get a lead on where the information came from.

“Well, fortunately, the information in those files didn’t provide all the information that Ethan said it would. Just our names, addresses, and a few other things. Only a bit of police records, nothing major, and some insignificant information about our families” Chloe went back to the Twitter post and looked at the link.   
“The guy who posted the link is called Ted Briones. A 17-year old from Connecticut”

Max looked ponderous for a moment, as she began feeling hot in her beige hoodie and Chloe’s black scarf around her neck.   
“You think Ethan was just bluffing then? That he doesn’t actually have any proof of my time-travel powers and what happened to Arcadia Bay?”

“I hope so” Chloe ran her nails through the side of her hair to straighten it out.   
“But… if he does have the proof, it means he got us to answer those questions, without actually using everything he threatened with, meaning he saved it so he could use it later and then get us to do some messed up shit again”

Chloe made a fair point. In reality, he could threaten to publish that information for an eternity without actually doing it, meaning he would have the upper-hand throughout. Unless they refused to participate in his games, in which case he probably would publish everything, unless he didn’t actually have the proof.

“I’m gonna send a message to Ted to see if he’ll tell us where he got the link from” Chloe gave off a blithe attitude, as she resumed to chew on the gum in her mouth.

“Just be careful. We need to consider the possibility that he might work with Ethan”

“Right. I’ll log in with my account, just to be safe”

“How would that be any better? He’ll still know who you are” Max suddenly noticed that the radio was on but turned way down, so only the occasionally quiet voice could be heard.

“My Twitter name is ‘FuriosGoblinMuncher’ remember? Don’t think he’ll be able to crack that code” Chloe arched her lips upwards as she logged Max out from Twitter and began typing in her login info.

Chloe had the strings in which to control Max’s lips, pulling the corners up and creating an insouciant smile as well.   
“That’s right. You’re so smart”

“Smarter than a bombshell grounded in the haven” Chloe sang out quickly, weirdly mumbling every word with a rusty voice.

Max simply looked baffled as she looked at her friend from the corner of her right eye.   
“What song is that?”

“It’s not a song” Chloe was quick to respond.

“What is it then?”

“I don’t know. The first couple of words that came to mind”

“The first words that came to mind…” Max said slowly as she watched the red car in front of her.   
“Was, smarter than a bombshell… grounded in the haven?”

Chloe shortly looked up, her face nearly glittering in the sunlight passing through the windshield.   
“Well, what’s the first words that come to your mind?” She let out with a jokingly offended tone.

“Crazy bitch?” As soon as the words came out of Max’s mouth, she let out a laugh.   
“Sorry, sorry” she quickly said as she saw Chloe raising her hand before playfully hitting her on the right arm with a sucked-in grin.

Only a second after Chloe’s soft punch did Max feel a thin sense of bliss and prickling joy. It was similar to the feeling she got when they were sitting at the diner. The sensation of comfort, treating every sense and gently dropping the weight off of her body, slowing her heartbeat, calming her breath and lifting her cheeks. She felt the sunlight hitting her face, embracing the heat spreading across it, and had to fight the urge to just close her eyes. Instead, she looked to her right to see the most beautiful girl beside her, typing away on the phone. It made her wonder how it took her so long to realize how much she desired to be with her fully and become her girlfriend, and how, eventually, she was able to do exactly that.

“I wrote the message to Ted” For a moment, still stuck in the fleeting, atmospherically sense of happiness, the voice passed through her ears with a soothing tone before she shook her head slightly and paid attention to the actual words.

“Oh, what did you write?” She tried hard to use a normal amount of volume in her voice, but it came out louder than she meant for.

“Ehm, hang on” Chloe mumbled as she began swiping and tapping around on the phone before clearing her throat.   
“Hey, Teddy. We are contacting you in regards to the Twitter post you posted, containing a link to a user’s private information. We here at Twitter take privacy very seriously and spreading private information is a violation of our policy rules. You will not be held accountable if you direct us towards the person or site that provided the link. Refusal to do so will result in a permanent ban. Thank you.  
\- Twitter moderator ‘FuriosGoblinMuncher’” Chloe ended with the voice of a dull businessman.

Max shook her head and blinked a few times.   
“You’re pretending to be working at Twitter?”

“Sure. The threat of being banned from social networks will get people to spill anything” Chloe responded with a confident voice.

“I guess” Max sounded unsure as she pressed down on the clutch and shifted gears.

Chloe took the phone away and paused, signaling she was about to change the subject.   
“So, when you rewind time, objects that you move, will not get rewound back to their original place?” She asked, referring to the conversation they had last night.

“No” Max was quick to answer.   
“I don’t rewind myself, so if I was the one to move the object in the first place, then there would be nothing to place the object back” She knew that she had told Chloe about this a long time ago, but she could understand her desire to fully informed, in case one of their plans had to be executed.

Tilting her head back, Chloe looked up and stretched her legs the best she could in the limited space.   
“So in addition to rewinding time, you actually have the power to teleport objects around?”

“In a sense, yeah”

Chloe stayed silent as her facial expression revealed her thinking it through, but not fully comprehending it, which lasted until the phone in her hand vibrated.  
“He replied,” she stated as she took a look at the message.

“Lay it on me,” Max said breathily as she shook her right elbow to nudge her sleeve down.

“Yeah, hey. You don’t have to pretend to be working at Twitter. Like, the only friend you have on Twitter is Max Caulfield. It’s pretty obvious you’re her friend” Chloe read the text out loud, with a disappointed voice.  
The two girls quickly shared an ‘oh well’ look, before she continued.   
“It’s cool that you’re worried. I found the files randomly on the same site where the link leads to. It’s published, so anyone can access it. The one who posted it had the default username, simply ‘username’ and then some numbers. I can take down my tweet if you want me to? I’ll try to find some more information in the meantime. Godspeed mate”   
Chloe flipped her head to the side and squirmed her lips when she read the last sentence. “What a nice fella’” she continued with her odd facial expression, as Max opened her mouth.

“I hope he is. We really could use some more information. All we have is his appearance, first name, and his phone number” Max let out as she focused on a red mailbox along the road.

“Frick dude, you have his phone number?” Chloe let out surprised as she closed the message and went into her contacts on the phone.

“Oh, I think so. He wanted me to send that video of my breaking my wrist to a number. Guess it could be a fake number”

“You have it on your phone?”

Just before responding, Max accidentally shifted gears too quickly, not pressing down on the clutch in time, making the car let out some rustling noises which they both ignored, even though Chloe lifted her head up and looked concerned for a second.  
“No, but the number is 208-263-7569 I think” She did know it, there was no doubt that this was the number she saw as she had created a little– rather grim- song in her head with the number involved.

“That’s wild,” Chloe said quietly as she typed down the numbers on the phone.

“Are you going to call him?” It was an uneasy voice Max used as she lost focus on her driving, making her release the clutch without giving speed, leading the car to jump a little before the engine turning off. Fortunately, she was quick to turn the ignition to get it started again with gentle movements.

“Easy on the clutch,” Chloe felt she had to mention it this time as she knew that even though Max had a driver’s license, she rarely took advantage of it and often let Chloe or her parents drive her around.   
“Ehm… No, I’m not gonna call him” Chloe continued before Max could apologize.   
“I can use a reverse phone lookup, by running the number through a site and– if he’s registered- then I can find his full name”

Max took a short while to calm herself down, before quickly looking at Chloe, not going to pretend she knew what she meant. Her friend’s attire looked especially like the lead singer from Green Day today, with her tugged up, long-sleeved black shirt, and a red tie hanging loosely around her neck, going down to her crotch. Her pants were black as well, but more worn-out. Finally, she glanced at the top of Chloe’s hair, noticing some brown roots sticking out from the top of her head, showing her original hair color.

“…7569” Chloe whispered, making Max look back at the road quickly.   
“Let’s see”   
Chloe’s suspenseful voice made Max excited for just a moment, imagining the benefit it would be to get Ethan’s full name.  
“Holy shit” Chloe exclaimed, as she nudged her head backward.   
“Ethan Penn Kestal” She stated with a confused voice, seeming substantially surprised by the name.

“That’s his name? Kestal?” Max felt her hands shaking as she said this.

“Seems like it” Chloe kept her lips nearly closed.   
“Now we run it through Google search and see what we find” she continued.

“I can’t imagine he would have a Facebook profile with his real name. If Kestal is his real name of course” Max’s voice made the sentence sound like a statement, but she meant for it to be a question.

“Probably not, but maybe he has something else–“Chloe stopped herself just after tapping her thumb on the phone.   
“Or maybe he does have a Facebook profile” she proceeded, having a confounded look on her face.

“What? Really?” Max almost laughed.   
“He’s like the worst bad guy ever” A sideways smile quickly formed on her lips.

“Is this him?” Chloe asked as she flipped the phone towards Max and held it out.

As she turned to look at the phone, her shaking left hand unintentionally locked her grip on the steering wheel, making the car turn abruptly right, forcefully sliding Chloe to the side of her seat as she let go of her grip on the phone and instinctively reached out her hand to grab the steering wheel while Max had lost her balance and supported her weight on the side of Chloe’s seat with her right arm, as her left hand was still tightly locked around the steering wheel.   
“Shit!” Chloe made a muffled yell as she felt the wheels of the car hitting the curb and ending up on the sidewalk, nearly driving into a hedge at 32 miles per hour. The bump, fortunately, made Chloe able to push herself closer and eventually grabbing the steering wheel, immediately turning it hard to the right. Max was still face down, not having any control of the situation with a panicked look on her face. Yet another thumb was felt and a screeching sound pierced their ears, followed by a high-pitched squeaking sound. The car finally got a grip and turned to the left until the wheels were back on the road just as Chloe pulled back her body and evened it out, giving Max enough time to hit the brakes with her right foot, effectively, and quite violently, stopping the car. Both of the girls were forced forward in their seat, making the seatbelt safety kick in, locking them in place, sending a thrust through their chest and making them smack their jaws down. Chloe was the first to pull her head back up, her body racing with adrenaline “For fucks sake, Max!” She yelled, angrily watching the friend to her left, still having her head down, her brown hair covering her silent face. “Have you completely forgot how to drive, or did your rational thoughts just abandon you for a second?!” She continued; her heart racing and her mouth mindlessly expelling her shock in the form of vocalized anger.

“I’m sorry” The words barely got pushed through her mouth, with a silent whisper and an embarrassed position. The words were weak and frightened.   
She began tearing up, lifting up her arm in an attempt to hide her face even more.   
“I lost focus,” A whispered turned into a weep.   
“I didn’t mean to” she had to say it quick, in order to not crack halfway through.

Chloe felt like a pin shot down through her upper lip, closing her mouth shut and psychically sending a pain through her throat down to her chest. She could sense how frightened Max was; not just now, but how frightened she had been through it all and it pained her that she hadn’t truly noticed. Her anger exploded inside her body, making her body fall back in the seat, leaving only the rubble of regret and penitence inside of her.   
“It’s okay, Max” Chloe said stunned as her arms felt numb.   
“You have a lot on your mind” her voice was hoarse and withheld, but she forced it out.

Max tensed her body to stop her shaking and pulled her head slightly up and looked at her friend who was staring straight forward with a mysterious glare in her eyes.

“I’m scared too” she continued, her body completely still.   
“I know we have a plan” a lock of hair fell down in front of her face.   
“But if I get the chance…” the air got hot around them just as Chloe blinked once.   
“I’m going to bring down Ethan”  
No hesitation. There was no barrier around her words and it was clear to see that she was dead serious.


	16. It's All We Know

“It’s smaller than I had imagined,” Max said a few seconds after they walked inside.

Chloe stayed silent for a second, squirming her eyes together until she began nodding very convincingly. “I’m better than that. Not gonna make a ‘that’s what she said’ joke” she said mostly to herself.  
“Say something else” Chloe looked intensely at Max while walking alongside her. 

Max knew Chloe challenged herself to come up with a joke based on casual conversation, so she wanted to help her out by setting up a decent joke and being in this charming little mall, there should be enough inspiration. “Ehh… There’s a guy in a wheelchair over there, if you… wanna go down that road” she let out quietly with an unsure voice.

“Err, I think… I think I’m just gonna postpone this challenge” Chloe responded, grinding her teeth slightly, as she looked around the open space.

“Yeah, you have to be wheel chair-ful making fun of the disabled” Max said with a blank face, her lips forming a straight line and only emptiness in her eyes. 

Chloe looked as if she had just aged two decades, her cheeks falling down and her forehead wrinkling when she lifted her eyebrows. Her body dispensed of all of her energy, making her bend her legs with her arms  
lazily swinging around her body. “I will have your head on a platter” Chloe whispered as she closed her eyes tight, trying to recover. 

Max barely paid any mind to Chloe, feeling dandy about the executed pun as she moved her head around, seeing the different shops ahead of them, but felt slightly disappointed by the fact that only after a few minutes, she had nearly seen everything in the small mall Chloe decided they should visit. It was a wide concourse they were walking through, benches and trashcans in a pattern placed in the middle, with signs popping out from the shops and open doors all the way to the end. Even though Chloe must have known the place better, Max still took it to herself to find the pharmacy, as that was the main reason for their little trip. 

“Hey,” Chloe spoke up as Max looked to her right, seeing her friend looking down her phone.  
“Teddy wrote another message”

“You’re really going to call him Teddy?” Max slid her left foot across the floor, getting the sense of the surprisingly smooth floor.

“Yeah, I’m going to make a pun with it later” Her flat, non-expressive voice prepared Max for the worst pun yet. When it would arrive, however, was a mystery.  
“Oh, by the way, we need to buy some spateddy” And thus, with Chloe’s comedic brilliancy, the world was at peace yet again.

Max opened her mouth to condemn Chloe but was instantly interrupted.

“HI AGAIN” She nearly yelled, intentionally breaking off her friend as she began reading the message.  
“I dug up some information about the guy and all that shit. Apparently he was once a psychologist and a quite respected one at that. I found some files of some his patients” Chloe’s voice suddenly cracked, before she paused, seemingly reading ahead. “Ehm… he has dealt with numerous cases, mostly involving people with schizophrenia and similar diagnoses, but a few psychos as well. Like, murderers and shit. It seems like he helped a lot of people. He quit his job about 5 months ago, due to a car accident. It hints that someone died, but it’s very… foggy. It says that his right arm is paralyzed, though, but I don't know if it's in connection with the accident. I can’t find any files that date past that. Hope that helps” Chloe ended as she stopped walking and looked at Max. “Paralyzed?” She questioned.

Max stopped walking as well, showing a baffled expression.  
“That doesn’t make any sense. When I met him, he was waving that arm all over the place”

“Guess he could have falsified that bit” Chloe stood still, pressing buttons across the screen on the phone.  
“Or maybe his arm was paralyzed for a while, but rewound time and prevented whatever did it”

“But that would also rewind the records, saying that his arm got paralyzed” Max was mostly lost in her own world, wondering about the different possibilities. 

“Well, the fact that he was a psychologist checks out. It says that as well on his Facebook profile” Chloe responded calmly as Max looked over, watching Chloe’s black fingernails moving around, really bringing home the gothic look she was dressed as today.

“You know, that style you’re owning really soothes me,” Max said with a smile, feeling glad when she saw she caught Chloe’s attention as she looked up from the phone.

“How come?” Her expression showed her anticipation as she arched her back slightly.

“’Fraid you’d gone soft” Max’s smile grew wide.  
“Guess I was wrong” Crossing her arms, she watched Chloe’s face carefully, slightly nervous about her response.

“Soft? Dude, I’m rock hard” Chloe chuckled to the relief of Max before bringing her attention back down at the phone.  
“But listen to this, my worried friend” she continued, removing her left thumb from the screen.  
“Ethan was married to a ‘Nora Sanaya’ according to several posts”

“Was?” Max was quick to ask, unprepared for the surprise that ran through her.

“Well yeah, my guess is that he went crazy, which got him the boot and the kiss goodbye” Chloe lowered her shoulders and stretched her neck.  
“Maybe around the time he got his powers? Hell, I thought you were insane the first time you told me about that shit” Chloe’s point was fairly reasonable, but imaging Ethan only having his powers for around 5 months seemed unlikely to Max, given his apparent knowledge about it all. 

Chloe noticed Max’s puzzled face quickly turning into concern, which made Chloe close the phone and swiftly putting it back into her front pocket.  
“Hey, look to your left” Chloe was close to whispering, bending down in her legs and placing her head close to her friend’s right ear.

The instructions made Max’s mind go to auto-pilot as she turned her head and saw a funky sign in bright colors with the word “Beeves” on it. From what she could gather at her point-of-view through the open door, is that it was a shop that sold miscellaneous items that there was no real use for, other than catching the attention of a group of ravens.  
“Please no,” Max whispered, knowing it was needles as she could already sense Chloe’s body moving forward in a childlike fashion. Just as she took a step in front of Max, Chloe grabbed her friend’s hand and began pulling her towards the place of pure suffering.  
And the fiery pit came closer and closer, until they stood in the door opening, as Max now saw what she had feared. Costumes, back-scratchers and lava lamps.

“Let’s hunt,” Chloe said intensely with a spark in her eyes and a firm grip on Max’s right hand.  
Without much thinking, Max loosened her grip so they could both walk around freely, but to her surprise, Chloe did not let go, but instead slid her fingers in between and curled them before slowly walking forward with Max sheepishly following closely. It was astonishing how new ways to make Max feel giddy and nervous always presented themselves when around her energetic friend, but like all the other times, she embraced it, softly tugging her fingers in and bumping her shoulder on her friend with a scoff.  
A few people were walking around in the low-budget store as well, either with a kid having begged to check it out or teenagers looking for a peculiar gift for their friends. And now there were two girls holding hands as well.  
It wasn’t long before Chloe had pinpointed the utmost funniest things they had in the store as she let out an unhealthy gasp. Fortunately, Max was quick enough to see the bloodlust in Chloe’s eyes and began moving her feet the second her friend did, to save her from being dragged across the floor. Only a second later, they stood beside a shelf full of funny and just inconvenient hats. All the colors of the rainbow were there, one hat even had a rainbow imprinted on it. She saw Chloe’s dumb happy smile and couldn’t help but to feel weirdly happy as well. While Chloe was looking at a hat that looked more like a cone, Max seized the opportunity while she was occupied and grabbed the dumbest hat within reach. A big purple hat with black stripes, similar to the one ‘The cat in the hat’ wears, just other colors and with the word ‘rekt’ written with glitter in the middle. She sighed internally as she put it on her head, made a goofy face and waited. It didn’t take long before Chloe’s puppy eyes looked back at her friend, which resulted in a swirling pair of lips, keeping in a loud laugh as her whole face turned red. Without opening her mouth to keep in the scream, she made a high-pitched humming noise.

“Ready to join the mobs,” Max said as confident and as seriously as she could manage.

“Max,” Chloe whispered, her chest lifting slightly while keeping in her breath.  
“Picture. Now” Her voice made it sound like this was the single most intense moment of her life as she grabbed the phone out from her pocket and pointed the backside towards Max, who was ready for an improvised model shooting.  
“Nonono” Chloe mumbled out with a distressed look.  
“Not enough memory!” She squealed while frantically tapping on the phone. 

Max figured she was trying to find something in the gallery she could delete when it suddenly hit her. The reason there was no memory left.

“Oh shit, there’s like a 30-minute video on your phone, but it’s just a black screen” Her voice signaled the confusion, but Chloe had already started the video, checking to see what it contained.

“Chloe” Max took a hold of the hat, taking it off and carefully retracting her hand from Chloe’s. A shiver of fear crawled through her, not wanting Chloe to hear the conversation she had with her father about going home in just two days. Not after everything that they had talked about.  
“I know this will just make you curious, but please, delete that video. Like, right now” it was a nervous voice she used without intention, but she could feel her body beginning to tense.

“Why? Is there something that-“ Chloe stopped her sentence as she looked up, seeing the frightened face of her friend. She made minimal movements as if she was carefully trying to defuse a bomb.  
“You got it” Chloe suddenly let out with a flat voice before tapping three different places on the screen, deleting the video without hesitation and then tapping on the side of the phone to lock it before she placed it back down in her pocket.

Max blinked once, pulling her head a little back and letting her arms fall down the length of her body.  
“You actually deleted it?” It came off a little disdainful, but she was legitimately surprised at how little effort it took.

“Hell yeah, I trust you, Max. If you don’t want me to see it, then there’s probably a good reason for it” Chloe said with a smirk.  
“I just want to chill with you right now” her sincere voice went along with her calm body language that Max had always treasured.

She couldn’t stop the smile spreading across as her face, feeling so incredibly lucky as she reached out her open hand.  
“Thanks, Chloe. Come, let’s go the pharmacy and then head home. I kinda wanna chill with you there” Max managed to pull off a suggestive look in her eyes, with her lips widening.

Chloe looked down and scuffed, a smile appearing on her lips as well.  
“You’re not getting out of it. Put on the hat” she suddenly said with demanding voice, but ended with a chuckle. 

…

“Ready for a fun time?” Chloe smiled suggestively as she held up the bottle of pills and shook it like a baby rattle.

They had only taken their first few steps out of the mall, but the welcoming heat had already struck Max, making her feel lazy, but the spoken words from her friend brought a fresh batch of energy to her as usual.  
“Shut up,” Max giggled as she looked across the parking lot, looking for their car, but she had already forgotten where they had parked. It was a cluster of red, green, black and white cars, soaking up the sunlight. Max had to resist the urge to hit her friend when she noticed the single yellow car, parked way in the back. “What does Alfred need those pills for anyway? He’s not sick, is he?” Max hadn’t considered the possibility, but she had hardly seen him anywhere but the couch, let alone actually had a conversation with him. She recalled not even seeing him in the morning when they took off.

“Just old” Chloe responded as she stopped to read the label on the bottle.  
“He just has pains once in a while and sometimes he forgets things, but really, what old person doesn’t need a barrel of pills these days?” 

“I guess that’s true” Max knew that her own grandparents always had a stash of pills lying around in the bathroom, but she never thought of actually asking what it was for. She eventually blocked off those thoughts and dug half her face into the black scarf around her neck, not because she needed the extra warmth, but it seemed like every second wearing it, just made it more comfortable. Max watched Chloe throw the pills in the bag with the rest of the things they had bought. She focused on the frozen pizza she knew they’d be eating when they got home and possibly the one-minute noodles Chloe insisted they should buy. She just felt relieved that there were no silly hats in the bag. 

Chloe just took a step forward, as Max noticed someone step out from the side of the mall, out from the shadows, and quickly began walking towards them, both his hands in the pockets of his long, black coat.  
“Fuck” Max whispered when she noticed it was a man with distinct messy, brown hair and stubble across his face. He approached quickly, just as Max yelled out. “Chloe, behind you!” 

Chloe only managed to turn her head slightly before the man pulled out his right hand from his pocket, revealing the gun he was holding just before grabbing Chloe’s left shoulder and forcefully turning her around, pressing the gun up against the center of her stomach.

“Shit, what the fuck?!” Chloe spoke out quickly with a tremble in her voice. She lifted up her arms with her palms wide open, effortlessly trying to pull her body back. Max shifted on her feet and got ready to jump him, but she was too far away to do it in a single move, and moving closer could be dangerous, especially when she knew the one holding the gun was Ethan. 

“What did you find?!” He yelled as he stared directly into Chloe’s frightened eyes who was oblivious to what was happening, or even who the man was.  
“What the fuck did you find out about her?!” He yelled again, twisting his face and violently pressing the gun into Chloe’s gut.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, sicko!” Chloe barely had enough time to let out these fear-driven words, as Max broke in. 

“It’s Ethan, Chloe. The fucking guy who did all that shit!” Max just spoke out as she looked around to see if there was any help to be found, but the doors to the mall were closed and there was no one around the parking lot.

“Oh, fuck,” Chloe said breathily as her whole body tensed, feeling the pain of the gun tightly pressed up against her.

Ethan turned his head to the side with his feet firmly on the ground.  
“I don’t have time for this shit,” he said with an angry voice, only a second before he pulled the trigger as the loud sound pierced Max’s ears, making her heart skip a beat. She missed the bullet but saw the wound the bullet created when it went through her friend’s stomach and out her back as Chloe jerked forward and fell to her hands and knees. “AAAAH” She screamed with an ear-wrenching voice as the pain rushed through her, making her body fall to the side and holding her right hand on her stomach where blood began pouring out, sticking to her shirt and darkening it. 

“CHLOE!” Max yelled with adrenaline pumping through her just as two men rushed out of the mall, presumably hearing the gun shot and the scream. Max’s body was locked and she felt her feet tensing up, making her unable to move. Thoughts quickly rushed through her mind as she pressed the nail of her index finger forcefully down into her thumb, sending a quick pain through her, quick-starting her body as she shook her head once before taking a quick step forward, feeling herself breaking free from her own shackles, but just as she did, Ethan turned slightly and pointed the gun directly at Max, with the bystanders standing still, one of them already on the phone to call the police when they had seen the gun. Max stopped and quickly turned her attention to her friend when she made a wet cough before sucking in air quickly. She was in blinding pain and was only able to twitch around on the pavement with her red blood now spilling out. 

“What are you waiting for Max?” Ethan said with an intense stare, tightening his grip on the gun.  
“Reverse time!” He yelled out with a furious tone, his left arm shaking and pupils widening.

Max felt her right hand tremble, her stomach burning and the hair on her neck rising. Anxiety and anger rushing through her like never before.


	17. Dusty Outline of a Frame

The air suddenly froze around her, her warm breath creating a bubble that kept out the horrifying sounds coming from her friend lying on the ground, her skin getting pale and her coughs weaker. Not even a gust of wind could be felt passing by; the only sound she could hear was her own heart thumping inside of her chest. She knew she was looking at the gun Ethan was holding, but could not focus, making everything seem blurry. Ethan took a short step forward, his brown bangs falling down his face, covering parts of his eyes and most of his forehead. His face was slim but not skinny, and the visible line of his cheekbone shaped his jaw in a burly way. His lips were dry, making them seem white while showing a small crack in the corner of his mouth. He didn’t say anything, his last words were still hanging in the air which the bystanders obviously heard, but didn’t know what they meant. One person was still on his phone, telling the address to the officer on the other line. The one next to him was a young adult, his body was stiff and he could not take his eyes away from the bleeding girl on the ground. Suddenly, a group of people stormed out the entrance to the mall to see what all the commotion was, but when they saw what was happening, they all stopped in their tracks. One woman screamed, making Ethan look over, prepared to shoot anyone who got too close. Suddenly the bubble around Max broke, and all the noise stormed through her, the people passing the yell around, making it impossible to hear the sound of Chloe trying to slowly crawl away with a pattern of dark blood following her.

“He’s got a gun!” Someone yelled. “Call the police!” Another one demanded. “Do something!” A third person said loudly. “She’s bleeding!” “What is going on?!” “Get back inside!” “He’s dangerous!”

All of them were panicking, making annoying howling noises like scared dogs, distracting Max from finishing a single thought in her head. The sounds began echoing, making Max close her eyes and curl her hand into a fist, pressing the nails into the palm of her hand. It was a fucking circus.

“SHUT UP!” Max yelled as loud as she could to all the people behind her. “BE QUIET FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND!” She continued, making all the people close their running mouths and just stand still, looking pathetically shocked.

The first thought that she finally managed to complete was to rewind time. A thought that seemed like the only option when she looked at her moribund friend. However, Ethan would be prepared for that, he expected her to do exactly that. The only other option she could visualize was to wait for the police to arrive, but there was no guarantee that they would even be able to arrest Ethan. The chance was actually slim. She had to incapacitate him first, making him unable to rewind time. _On the other hand, if Ethan expects me to rewind time, why wouldn’t he just do it himself? Why take the chance and wait for me to do it? Is it a test?_

A soft thump broke Max’s chain of thought as she saw her friend had fallen down onto the pavement with her face down and her body lying lifelessly in the sun. There was not enough time to think about an alternative option, she already felt cruel for having spent these seconds trying to come up with a plan. As much as she tried not to, Max took a final glance at her friend, her face buried in the ground and her arms spread away from her body. It made every nerve in her body, feel like they were being stretched to unbearable amounts. Her arm shook so much she could barely control it when she slowly lifted her hand up, feeling a heavy crow made of pure iron, finding the comfort on her arm, weighing it down and digging its claws through her skin. She forced herself to breathe slower, to loosen her body, detach her fears and close her eyes.

 _Everything is alright. I’ll be home with Chloe soon._ She thought to herself in an attempt to calm her body and pinpoint her focus. She held her breath and then tensed her arm so much that it hurt. All the people around her were blocked off and she could only see colors of blue and red creating patterns on her closed eyelids.

“It’s only temporary,” Ethan suddenly said a flat voice, his eyes shifting from fury to calm while gently shaking his head. “The fleeting feeling of warmth” He continued while lowering the gun in his hand, but Max shut out his words to keep from getting distracted. “Just a flash before the line gets blurry” The last words in this timeline about to never have existed.

It felt like she was slapped in the face and her veins were struggling to burst out of her body when Max opened her eyes. “CHLOE, GET BEHIND ME!” She yelled out even before getting a visual of her surroundings. All she could see was a blurred vision of the mall in front of her, but she knew she had reversed time to just seconds before Ethan approached them. Chloe shot her eyes wide open, startled by the sudden yell, but reacted quickly and without hesitation, took three quick steps around Max and placed herself behind her, dropping the bag in her hand onto the ground and bend slightly down her legs. “What’s going on Max?” She asked quickly, almost pressing her face into Max’s neck, who blinked hard a few times, her heart not slowing down when she began looking around. “Ethan is over there!” Her voice failed to reach a calm state, as she nudged her head towards the side of the mall, just as she saw the young man watching them closely before taking slow steps towards them. He still had his hands in his pockets but looked much calmer than before. “Oh shit. Did you rewind time?” Chloe looked in the direction Max signaled and saw Ethan as well who now stood still while taking out the gun from his pocket. “Yeah,” Max responded with a stern voice, preparing herself for the worst. She felt bad for admitting it, but she hoped Chloe knew it was a necessity. “He shot you” She forced her body to relax for just a second, focusing entirely on Ethan who was aiming the gun at Max, but could see that he didn’t plan to take the shot.

“Fuck” Chloe just managed to whisper, before Ethan nodded. “Get over here” He demanded with a loud voice and a sturdy tone. Max stood still for a moment, all while Chloe waited for Max’s instructions on what to do. “I don’t know why he shot you, but he won’t do it again,” Max said confidently, but with a hint of anger in her voice. “But he probably has some kind of plan, so stay behind me and get ready to run if I tell you to” Max didn’t mean to be bossy, but it was far from her main concern after what she had seen. Her only goal right now was to protect her friend, and Chloe having realized that; agreed, as she followed closely behind when Max took slow steps towards Ethan.

_I could distract him, so Chloe could get away, but… not only is it risky. He could just… rewind time._

At this time, Max couldn’t see any way out of it and was forced to comply as Ethan began leading them to the backside of the mall, a hill covering up the road on one side and with the mall blocking their entire left side, it was out-of-view from any people who would walk out of or into the mall. It was unfortunately not a mall amidst of the city; it was the only building in a large radius, with only the parking lot, pavement, and large patches of grass surrounding it. They stepped into the shadow the large building cast, walking towards two trash containers before Ethan stopped. Max halted her movements instantly, making Chloe bump into her gently. He turned around nonchalant, his eyes slightly red with a carefree expression. It was with impulsive actions that Max tensed her body and made sure Chloe was hidden securely behind her. Ethan looked at her for a second as if he was analyzing her expectations and intentions. “You know, I find it… peculiar, how bonds between people are created so precisely and inviolable” He began speaking, putting the gun back in the pocket of his jacket, then lifting the hand up to the side of his face and adding pressure. “You can meet someone and be like ‘That person. That person right there is the ink life needs to continue writing my story’” He closed his eyes while Chloe moved a little to the side, immediately making Max move her body as well to signal her friend to get back behind her.

Ethan tapped the tip of his brown shoes against the ground while removing his hand from his head. “All other people in the world might as well be critters, right? If someone stepped on them, who would even care besides the person doing the stepping? And even then, it might just be a personal inconvenience” The temperature had dropped while standing in the shadows. “Just something to wipe off your shoes”

Chloe scuffed with her throat annoyed while Max watched Ethan closely and paid close attention to his words, but had to search for any relevancy. “So Chloe is a critter to you, is that it?” Max let out frustrated, feeling a reaction coming from her friend.

Ethan shot his eyes up slightly and curled his fingers. “Not at all. Your relationship with Chloe is actually quite admirable. Just by looking at you, I can see the willingness to protect her and how she clearly trusts you. I had something similar with my wife” His voice went soft as his jacket was waving in the passing wind. “Once, she was at this job interview and I was just outside for support, listing through the door” He smiled. “She accidentally said something stupid, some joke that clearly didn’t land,” He actually laughed gently. “And I reversed time, then knocked on the door to stop her from doing it” Ethan shook his head with small movements as he looked down. “I was so happy when she got the job” His smile remained. “I threw up that day. I smashed a lamp that day. She had packed all of her necessities into a red luggage bag just when the sun was going down, burning its orange beams into my eyes” He opened the palms of his hands and took a breath. “She left me that same day”

An empty silence entered as Max tried to disregard any emotions she may have felt from his words and began forming questions in her head that might be direct enough for him to give an understandable answer. However, the silence disappeared as soon as it had arrived. “Like that’s going to get our sympathy” Chloe let out and stepped to the side, despite Max’s efforts to keep her back. “All that tells me is that you’re carefree with your powers and you got what you deserved, but yet, you go around playing Max’s moral compass, while constantly putting us danger!” Chloe growled at him, tensing her arms, but luckily keeping her distance.

“I wasn’t trying to get your sympathy, you human paragon,” Ethan responded slightly more aggressive, Max caught by surprise the choice of words. “You wondered about my wife, right? You were curious about Nora” He sped up, his body language getting more visible. “You’re thinking that she was some fragment that I lost, leaving a hole of regret inside of me and now I am going around, bothering your friend so she can learn from my mistake” His voice rose and his expression rapidly changed. “But it was her mistake!” The yell instinctively made Max prepare herself. “You see a tornado destroying this city? Do you see people hiding, swallowed by fear and confusion, just waiting to die because I was careless?!” With a quick movement, he tapped his shoe onto the pavement while swinging his left arm up, then down. “I learned from her mistake! I learned that stepping on hundreds of critters will leave you up to your neck with the blood of the innocent and that Max has the fucking audacity to just wash it off!”

Max stiffened her neck to keep from looking at Chloe, who was now next to her. Max wanted to speak up; she wanted to tell him that it was a lie. Hell, she wanted everyone to know how many hours of sleep she had lost, how much spirit just went and left after that day. How much it scared her when she stood on top of a hill and imagined herself jump off. She wanted to scream that the thought actually brought a sense of fulfilment deep inside of her, just for a moment. She couldn’t help it. She took a glance at Chloe to see her reaction and saw what she feared. A moment of hesitation, the result of clouded realization and deception. It was not as if Chloe would suddenly turn on Max, but the fact that she had hidden these emotions and stayed strong in order to support Chloe could be interpreted as apathetic towards the event. It was a subject, which had been intentionally ignored, even though they both often thought about it.

“Ethan,” Max said after a few silent breaths and stared earnestly at the person in front of her. “If it’s not because I should learn from your mistake, then why are you doing this?” In an attempt to bring the intensity down and have a serene conversation, Max lowered her head slightly and relaxed her hands.

Ethan seemed to get the message as he removed his bangs from his face with his left hand, seemingly stressed. “I’m sorry, but it’s the fact that you haven’t realized it yet, that I can’t tell you. It would save us both– us all the displeasure of wasting our time, when we could just live our lives” He said slowly, his Adam's apple being lifted up his throat when he swallowed. “This is my only chance to rectify what you have taken and to teach you how moral really works. Not just figuring out what is right and what is wrong, but to see that you have everyone’s fate in your hands and that there will always be consequences. None of us can be gods. All I see when I look at you Max,” Ethan paused, as he bend his right arm and pulled the side of his face down to his shoulder. “Is a thief and a coward, in the shiniest of armor” He took a breath and tightened his face as if he was disgusted about his oncoming words. “And I want to see you suffer”

The air got chilly as a car door could be heard closing. Max curled her toes inside her shoes, not expecting him to be so sinister and honest at the same time. “Here” Ethan suddenly let out breathily as he pulled out the gun from his pocket and gave them both a chance to prepare themselves before he dropped it on the pavement before him and then gave it a solid kick. It began sliding across the ground towards Max, who felt her future instincts telling her to jump over it for some reason, but it slowed down and stopped a few inches in front of the confused girl. She was convinced it was some kind of trick until Ethan began speaking again. “Hang on” he lazily said before lifting up his right arm again, but this time with bare hands and an open palm. Max’s heart jumped up in her throat when she realized he was about to reverse time, but there was no time to react as he just as quickly lowered his hand again and took a breath. “Alright,” Ethan said, shaking his head slightly.

Max forced her thoughts to rush through her mind quickly before he began speaking again.

_This is the first time I’ve seen him reverse time, but… I didn’t feel anything. And he didn’t even move. He must have done something, but why did I see him lifting his hand if he just erased the previous timeline? Maybe he’s just trying to confuse me, but even if he got back to his original position, he couldn’t have made it so I didn’t even see him flinch. Did I blink?_

“In about twenty seconds, three people will walk out of the entrance of the mall, with about ten seconds’ interval.”

Max’s trail of thought broke as Ethan began speaking again while Chloe was grinding her teeth, knowing it was best if she let Max analyze the situation and take action, but her whole body was tense as if she was holding something back. Max simply held on to her shadow and focused.

“I want you to pick up the gun before you,” Ethan’s voices revealed the intensity and he could no longer keep a calm body language as she tapped his knees together and sucked in his bottom lip. “And shoot one of them” He clicked his tongue. “Kill one of them”

Suddenly, Max felt unbearably light standing in the storm of disgust she had to withstand. Mechanically, she moved her head to her left to see her friend weak in her legs, just eyeing the emptiness in all she could find. Max heard the ghostly scream of refusal coming from Chloe; the confined anger.

 _No._ Was the first thought that popped into Max’s head. _No._ She had to repeat it in her head to keep her from considering the consequences if she refused.

There was no way in hell she would do it. It wasn’t even comprehensible. She could see that Ethan wasn’t done talking. That he would elaborate, but there was nothing he could say to wash away the consternation from the mere mentioning of committing a murder. She would simply have to refuse and accept the consequence. However, when Chloe looked back at Max with big eyes and waves of worry, her heart stumbled and the inevitable thoughts flashed before her, taunting her.

_Could I actually kill a person like that? Could I handle it?_


	18. Rebounding Reaction

Every ounce of energy stored inside of her was storming to her limbs, making her want to curl all her anger into a single fist punch and then run. Run for all the miles her legs could handle, until she passed out. There was so much stored inside of her, but it was all denied freedom in the prison of limitations. She felt ready to just freak out and scream however absurd it may be. She couldn’t even feel the fear anymore; just the anger and adrenaline. She couldn’t help but imagine that this must be how Chloe felt in all those situations where she took action and spoke up or got into fights. All those times, she just thought she was irrational and gave in to the anger, but these emotions that were now crawling through her skin, made it seem like it would be heaven to be able to actually let it loose.

“The people coming out of the mall are not just ordinary people,” Ethan began explaining his test with more details as he noticed Max’s anger and curled his fingers while tapping his knees gently. “All three of them have been convicted of separate crimes, so really, it’s up to you which crime deserves death” His voice was smug and in control as he removed his bangs with his left hand and made a crooked gap with his lips.

Max began tapping her toes inside her shoes faster and faster as she felt something tingling at the tip of her fingers, it was unbearable to just stand still. It was driving her insane. Ethan had just begun speaking again, as something snapped inside of Max as she quickly shifted on her feet and bend down slightly, picking up the gun before her, flipping it to get her finger on the trigger. She stretched out her arm while breathing heavily, finally moving and burning the energy inside of her while pointing the gun at Ethan. Her eyes shot up, her stare piercing and hands shaking. Her face was red as she took a step forward, adding pressure on the trigger.

“Holy shit, Max” Chloe next to her exclaimed in surprise, almost lifting her hands up by reflex, but her voice revealed that she was eccentrically impressed.

Ethan stood still, and even though he tried to hide it, the movement of his eyebrows and the slight tilt in his legs revealed that he was taken by surprise as well. “There’s something gnawing inside of you, I know, but think about–“ Ethan just began speaking, as Max forced the trigger down as hard as she could in one single moment of uncontrollable enragement. The gun was aimed directly at his chest as the ricochet made the gun jump, as well as the three hearts in the nearby area. The bang wasn’t particularly loud, but enough for Max to take a quick breath and holding it. Chloe twitched her body backward, her red tie being swung across her shoulder. They both looked at Ethan, standing perfectly still just before he loosened his arm and stretched his neck. There was no bullet wound visible as everything went silent. The next second felt like it lasted for a painful amount of time before Ethan looked up and bend his right arm. “You actually did it,” He said slowly, biting the inside of his bottom lip. “You tried to kill me” In disbelief, Max lowered the gun down to her right thigh, holding it loosely in both her hands as she exhaled. She tried to say something but found herself looking over at Chloe for any suggestions or just confirmation that she witnessed the very same thing. Unfortunately, Chloe looked as if she was in incredulity herself, but now with confusion and an expression that resembled frustration.

“I have been honest up to this point” Ethan laid out his words with a perfectly neutral tone of voice as he curled his fingers. “And I will continue to be so” he continued, looking a little above Max. “Honestly Max, you really think I’d throw you a gun and not consider the possibility that you’d shoot me? Hell, that was what I expected” He looked back into Max’s shaking eyes, completely disillusioned. “I didn’t expect you to be so quick about it though” He scoffed. “I wanted to see if you had it in you to actually kill a person, but unfortunately” As a car could be heard starting, he made a little twitch with his fingers and opened his palms. “You reacted from emotions, rather than logic and didn’t even wait for me to explain the circumstances. Oh, hold on” he paused. “I lied when I said I had been honest, sorry. There are not three people about to walk out of the mall. I knew you wouldn’t just shoot someone, even if there were consequences. Again, I just wanted to see if you could shoot me after thinking about the personal impact it would have one you, to take a life that you could actually look in the eyes. Which, you didn’t even give yourself enough time to think about” He was a statue framed in dismay. “Right now, you’re wondering why I don’t have a bullet wound through me” His voice stretched in repugnant. “Chloe knows, but she is too occupied being frustrated by the fact that I seemingly have control over the situation from every aspect”

Max looked over at her friend, confirming the irritated expression. She was narrowing her eyebrows and biting the inside of her lip. “The gun had blanks,” Chloe said while keeping her stare.

Max bend her right wrist to look at the gun in her hand, not fully understanding how he managed to fill the gun with blanks as it was the same gun he used to shoot Chloe with.

_Did he reverse time to replace the bullets? It seems careless that he would use his powers that often after everything he told me. But more importantly, why doesn’t he just kill me? He must have some sort of motive…_

“Ethan, I can’t take this anymore” Max exhaled and grasped the feeling of hopelessness. “If I… swear to not use my powers– or use them under your guidance- can’t you just stop torturing me and Chloe?” The words felt weird in her mouth, almost as if she had given up, but her mind had processed too many things in just the span of some minutes. The toll on her psyche was no longer viable as if a line had been crossed.  
  
For some reason, this seemed to spark something inside of Ethan. He twitched his body as if he was being stung by bees all around his body, prompting him to take a step closer. “No, let’s see what you can handle” The aggressiveness in his voice was forced down, but the hostility was clearly heard. “Let us see what it takes for you to break and never recover because I am goddamn curious as to when you will reach the point of being so overwrought with guilt that you’d be unable to even stand on your feet” With forced movements, he took his left hand up to his face and ran his fingers through his hair. “You are so far gone Max. I have seen this before. You’re in denial to keep yourself from going insane, but your mind can’t process that kind of effort. It doesn’t cooperate like that. Are you even sure if Chloe is alive?” The sudden question pushed Max back, as she quickly looked to her left, seeing her friend rolling her eyes. “What if you actually did sacrifice Chloe, but you couldn’t handle the guilt and combined with all the time travel you have done, maybe she isn’t even real anymore. Are you sure she is not just some fragment of your memories from another timeline?” He nearly whispered these words as he put a hand to his head.    
“The mind is a powerful thing, and it can become so deluded in desperation that it starts to convince itself of all sort of things, making you question what reality actually means. Even when you know your mind is playing tricks on you, it is still perceived by your body as a real thing. You know why? Because sometimes we’d rather live a lie. A lie where our best friend isn’t dead”  
Even though it shouldn’t have, the possibility made Max lift her shoulders as her neck began tickling. She tried to convince herself that Ethan was just trying to throw her off and when she noticed her friend look back, Chloe instantly exchanged her look of incredulity with a look of perturbation, opening up her eyes and lifting her right hand, prompting Max to relax and disregard the idea.

“Max,” she said carefully. “That’s idiotic. If I’m not real, then how the fuck is there a picture of you wearing an awesome hat on your phone? A picture where both of your hands are visible” Chloe stilled her hand, her black fingernails standing out and her cornered smile, bringing Max back down to earth, as she simply nodded in apprehension, feeling relieved that she had Chloe by her side to keep everything real.

Ethan kept quiet for a while, as he began searching for something in his pockets. “Are you a Christian, Chloe? Do you believe that we are being judged by a higher power?” He suddenly questioned, looking away carefree, still with his right hand down in the pocket of his jacket.

Chloe looked surprised for a second before she recovered and pushed her right shoulder forwards. “I thought you had all that shit information about us, so you should know. Unless it was just a lie?”

“No, I have the information. I’m sure you know why I didn’t publish it, though; it would be stupid to use one of my aces before I even know what cards have been dealt, but reasonable to let you know that I have the highest card” Finally, he seemed to have found what he was looking for. “It makes the rivals nervous and they will exchange a king for the slim chance of an ace” It was a polaroid photo he was now holding in his hand. “Even though I hold all four of them”

Max tried to catch a look of the photo, seeing a middle-aged blonde woman with a burdened smile and tilted eyebrows. She was standing next to a Christmas tree, wearing a blue shirt and despite looking tired, there was some undefinable joy that shined from her. Max dug her nails into her thigh, her ears turning red as she felt the moisture rapidly forming under her eyes. Her heart sunk as the face of Chloe’s mom pierced the very center of her mind. She had never forgotten the feeling, but when it returned, the soul-crushing and body-devastating feeling of guilt and pain, she lost all feeling in her limbs. Time moved slowly as she looked to her left, her friend having noticed the picture of her dead mom as well. All the muscles in her face tightened and the veins in her forehead were visible. Her hands were fists and her eyes, daggers. She moved her right foot first, her body pulsating the infuriation through the area. It was only instincts when Max shifted on her feet and leaped towards her friend. Chloe was in the middle of her second step when Max felt her hand gripping her friend, just before her torso made the impact. She tackled her friend to keep her from attacking Ethan, who was prepared to make a move, but also surprisingly calm. They both fell to the ground when Max could feel Chloe’s cold and hard body as if it was a group of boulders, melted together. Arms quickly began flailing around as Chloe tried to force her way out of Max’s body weight on top of her. “I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” Chloe yelled with a crack in her voice as she was psychically punching Max to get her out of the way. “DON’T YOU DARE SAY A WORD ABOUT MY MOM, YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!” The yelling got louder as Max made another attempt to lash her arms around her friend to limit her movements. It was a frightening moment, being so close to Chloe in a moment of intense anger and heart-shattering pain. She eventually stopped throwing her arms around and stopped yelling, though her breath was still shaking along with her body. Max felt a hand brushing against her back, reassuring her that it was okay to get off her. She was hesitant until she felt Chloe’s body loosen up slightly before Max whispered “I’m sorry” and let go of her grip and slowly moved her body away, both of them getting up from the ground standing close to each other. Ethan had kept quiet, analyzing their reactions with a cold expression. He curled the fingers of his left hand and kept displaying the photo with his right.

“For six months, you had the chance to back through a photo and save Joyce,” He said without blinking, without moving an inch. “Save her family” He was a shell of nothing to become. “You could do it right now”

His words no longer cut deep, but simply slid across her body and passed away. Max took a hold of the scarf that had come undone and threw the end of it around her neck. She was too pissed to care about his words anymore. “I know I’ve had the options, but you don’t get to choose the definition of value” Max shook her arm slightly to brush away the pain from Chloe’s punches. “The one thing that has the most value to me is Chloe, and I will tear away any sympathy that I may have before I consider the possibility of losing her” The clouded anger had somehow disappeared from her. Maybe it was tiredness or Chloe’s yells that had pierced through it and left it as dust in the bottom of her heart. Whatever it was, she no longer felt the burning acid in her stomach. “You can only have the upper-hand if I let you have it,” Max said confidently, watching Chloe from the corner of her eye, knowing she was carefully listening to her. “I will leave you a failure of a man” She felt it. Chloe swayed her body to her side, brushing her fingers against Max’s, supporting her.

Ethan made a quick lift of his shoulders, changing his body language, almost as if he went out of an act he had been playing. “I have the upper-hand, because I choose so, Max” His lips retracted to the side in a crooked smile as he flipped the photo around and placed his arm down his body. “I’ve had a dog for two years,” he began speaking with fluid movements. “It’s just an animal like you and me, with a subconscious. It perceives the world as it is presented, but now how it is in reality” When he placed the photo back in his pocket, a glimpse of several other polaroid’s could be seen. “I rang a bell just before I fed him. I did this for just a couple of days. First, it was just an annoying sound to him. I would hold the bowl of food in front of him and you could see the drool created around his mouth” Max watched his movements closely, waiting for an opportunity to make a move. “After a while, I could ring the bell, and because his brain had associated the sound of the bell with food, he would come running, drool dripping onto the floor” He scoffed. “Even though there was no food around. His body psychically reacted with excitement, just from the sound of a little bell. I could also have done this to create the feeling of fear or anger” He suddenly moved both his arms away from his body and puffed out his chest. “So let me ask you this, Max,” His palms pointed towards the sky. “How many of my repetitive movements, expressions, and quirks did you notice?”

It took a second, but it suddenly dawned on her as she played through the whole scene from the beginning in her mind. She looked at his shoes, then his hands, his right arm, his head. Even the bangs that had fallen down onto his forehead. Ethan cracked a smile, lifted his left hand up to his head, and removed the brown bangs as he had done so many times before. Her body tensed, her mind rushed. She reacted.


	19. Day Two

_Play it for me. Come on, just play it. Play it. Just once. I know you’re good. For fuck’s sake, just play it._

“I’m sure that you know that if you nod while having a conversation, the other person will most likely begin nodding as well”

_See that? That’s bread grumps. Know what they do? They attract ants. Even birds on rare occasions. You want a bird in the house? Pooping all over?_

“And if you slip a request somewhere in the conversation while they’re nodding, they are more likely to agree, because nodding is associated with agreement”

_I’m so selfish… not like my mom… Look what she had to give up and live through._

“It’s the appeal to your subconscious that is in play. Every time you have seen me, all of my movements were planned. Even in the different timeline”

_You’re not trading me._

“Every time I tapped with my shoes, I also yelled to associate the tapping with anger and fear”

_Look at how many times I’ve almost died or actually died around you._

“Every time I curled my fingers, I showed contempt and understanding”

_Max, this is the only way._

“If I shook my head, it was because the topic was your powers”

_You’re the only one who can._

“Head to side, urgency. Hand to head, confusion. Bending right arm, disgust. Open palms, sadness. Tapping knees together, surprise. Removal of bangs with left hand, stress”

_…_

“All these movements I did, based on the conversation and the feelings shown, or the feelings I wanted to be shown. I’ve always had the upper-hand, Max”

The words went through the passage of her brain, reattached the wires and stopped her. She looked down, scoffed, and then smiled apathetically. “You’re a miserable drop in a waterfall” The air was still around her. “I’ve felt so much suffering and pain” Her body was detached. “You are nothing” She looked up. Saw his blank face and emptied her mind as well. If she couldn’t control her mind, she would have to shut it off. There was only one thing she focused on. With gentle movements, she pulled her body to the side and tapped a single finger on the backside of Chloe’s hand. She was still as well and only reacted with an unnoticeable nod. She was readying her friend to act out their plan.

“I know you’d think it’s foolish to tell you all this,” Ethan continued, ignoring Max’s disguised threat. “But now you will focus on my movements, rather than my words to block out the associations, but in doing so, my movements become my words and my words, becoming my movements” A ruffling could be heard, coming from behind the wall of the mall next to them. “It’s already planted in your head, so you can reverse words and movements all you like, but they will always have a connection” He smiled slightly, conscious about the seemingly nonsense he was letting out. “Alright, if you think that I cannot get to you anymore, then I think it would be a good time to begin the second test”

Immediately, Max curled her hand and tapped her knuckles on the back of Chloe’s hand, signaling her to wait as she narrowed her eyes, unsure how to react. “So pulling the trigger on your creepy ass, wasn’t the test?” Chloe reacted for her, her voice having a hostile undertone.

Ethan looked over and lifted his right shoulder. “No. I just wanted to see how prepared I should be, for a bullet ending up in my creepy ass” He began hovering his pinky over his right pocket where he had placed the polaroid along with the others, which Max had noticed. “So, Max,” He began once more. “I can understand that Chloe has somehow forgiven you for killing her parents”

Both the girls tensed their hands as Chloe gently pressed her arm up against Max’s, unsure if it was intentional. The subject was uncomfortable, the very reason why they hadn’t discussed it at length, but it seemed like that bliss would be over.

“But you only have the luxury of being forgiven, and Chloe, the luxury of being able to forgive, because you both know what happened. Chloe knows that you were the cause of the problem and that you had a reason for not fixing it. She was the reason” It disturbed Max, knowing he was setting up the platform for the oncoming challenge. “There are hundreds of people not being so lucky. Their family died, without actually knowing why. And you can’t forgive a tornado” He finally bent his right arm to reach for the photos in his pockets. “And you can no longer blame it” A stack of at least thirty photos were pulled out with his right hand, which he held firmly between his fingers. “Let me set the scene” He continued, being careful not to show the images. “You’re a 25-year old woman. Your sister dies in Oregon. You hold a funeral with an empty casket. People cry. A part of them forever lost” His voice slowed down, but the malicious tone sped up. “Six months later, you’re still depressed and can barely get out of bed in the morning. Then, one day, you get a phone call” As he said this, he was quick to set his left hand in motion by pulling it down his left pocket and pulling out a cellphone. “It’s a 19-year old girl, telling you that she was responsible. That she is the reason the world is so dark around you. She tells you that she had the choice to save your sister and thousands of other people, but she didn’t do it because she wanted to save the girl she loved”

Max quickly lashed her hand around Chloe’s arm, prompting a startled reaction, but she held her arm tight without letting go. The way he said it, in such a fake erudite way, made Max grind her teeth together.

“All this information is presented to you. You finally know why your sister had to die. Now… do you forgive the girl?” He lowered his head, signaling that he was finished as he took a step closer to the two girls. They both prepared themselves but held their ground. Ethan’s hands were both holding items, so he couldn’t pull out a gun or reverse time, so while Max’s heart sped up and her body tensing, she decided to wait. He walked closer as if he was just taking a calm stroll down the sidewalk, lifting his left hand when he was just about five feet away from her. “Take the phone. Open up contacts. Call the numbers in order. Tell them you killed their family member, by being responsible for the destruction of Arcadia Bay. You don’t have to mention your time travel powers. They will most likely not believe you; they will think it’s a cruel prank, but this is for you. Not for them” He slid the gray phone to the tip of his fingers. “You are only allowed to hang up 5 minutes after you told them if they haven’t hung up themselves. There are 60 people on the list. I attained all the numbers from the mental health clinic where I used to work. It makes sense a good amount of people needed help after what happened”

Being so close to Ethan, forced Max to analyze him more thoroughly. Even though he smelled like cheap deodorant, a phantom odor entered her nose. Just by being so close to him, her mind created a false scent in order to tell her he was a threat. He was a little more than a head taller than Max, and the dark stubble on his face was thicker than she had previously thought. Even though they were hidden by the sleeves of his coat, Max could imagine the lanky arms, and his wrist revealed the pale color of his body. His black coat was only buttoned up two places at the bottom, making her able to notice the gray shirt he was wearing underneath, and even though she couldn’t– or wouldn’t look further down, she knew he was wearing worn-out jeans and brown, leather shoes. Analyzing him as a whole; he looked messy. Not unclean, but tired and deprived of sunlight. From the corner of her eye, Max could see Chloe twitching, just wanting to jump him, but once more, she tapped a finger on the back of Chloe’s hand as she quickly took a silent breath and calmed herself, even though it was clear to sense her displeasure of Ethan standing so close to her friend.

“This is the wrong way to go about this, Ethan. Why not just give me a lecture, rather than playing these games with sick consequences?” The last word slipped out roughly across her tongue, regretting she said it.

“When hearing a lecture, it’s up to you if you want to learn something from it” Ethan stood up straight, the corner of the sun beginning to pass the side of the mall. “Given everything I’ve seen, I don’t trust your ability to accumulate the proper lessons from these recent events” Something about his choice of words and the smoothness in which they came out, gave Max the impression that he had thought about this question. “But I do trust your body’s ability to neglect the mind and instinctively learn from associations. Therefore, by providing consequences, in which fear plays a role, I expect your body to suck in that fear, store it, and then run it through your veins when there are decisions to be made. That’s how you teach dogs, right? Make them associate yelling with fear, then use that to yell at them when they do something wrong, thus making them remember the fear, and they will stop doing things wrong” He nudged his fingers slightly, prompting Max to take the phone once more while speaking with a disdainful tone of voice.

Max hesitated, knowing that if she took the phone, it would signal that she would agree to the challenge. “I fucking–“ Max whispered frustrated. “What happens if I refuse?” It was words of disgust she used, feeling like it was bound to be asked. Like the majority of idiots would ask that exact question, but she couldn’t think of any more ways to stall.

Ethan closed his eyes for a second, as he flipped the phone into the air with the tip of his fingers before laying his arm down his body. It was completely whimsical that Max threw out both her hands and caught the phone with her right. Ethan took two steps back, before waving his hand around as if he was swatting a fly. “Sorry, my arm got tired” he cleared his throat. "I think it’s safe to say that I can’t threaten you by telling you I will publish that information about you again. So, yeah…” he said breathily while curling his fingers.

Chloe loosened her body, looking like she was regretting she didn’t jump him, and while Max could understand her frustration, given that he was no longer holding the gun– which was now on the ground in front of Max, but it was still too risky to do anything hasty.

“If you look behind you, you will see that a decent amount of people are pulling into the parking lot every now and then” He continued quizzical. “Just trust me when I say those people’s lives are in danger” There was a rough edge to his words as he began fiddling around in his right pocket once more.

Max looked down on the gray smartphone in her hands, flipping it over to analyze it closely. The situation seemed odd. Less dangerous than the previous challenge, but the fact he would hide the consequence implied that there wasn’t any, that he hadn’t planned anything, or that it would impede his plans if he told them. She quickly reminded herself to focus on anything else than Ethan, in case he would try to repeat movements to plant emotions inside of her.

_Goddammit. This has been going on for too long. It feels like I’ve been standing at this spot for hours. I just want to go home… I’ll… just do what he asks. It doesn’t sound bad, just awkward. They probably won’t believe me anyway, just think I’m drunk or something. It also gives us the opportunity to improve our chances of getting away from this freak. I’m just glad that Chloe seems to understand why I am tapping the back of her hand._

Max unnoticeably slid a little to the right, away from Chloe and unlocked the phone with no code. “Alright, Ethan. I will do my best to get into your mindset of why I have to do this” Max tried her best to sound convincing as she looked at the home screen of the phone. It looked fresh, only the standard apps showing up. She noticed Ethan moving his lips to the side before she opened up contacts. The names were in alphabetical order, the first name being “Abigail Petersen” a person she didn’t recall having ever met. The next in line was “Alex Graham” no recollection either. She felt tempted to scroll through the entire list to see if there were any names she knew, but decided against it as Ethan was staring at her closely.

Chloe stood idly by, looking she was lost and trying to find some encouraging words to say, but came up short. She simply just waited and held her hand as close to Max as she could, without it being suspicious.

Max hovered her finger over the name “Abigail Petersen” feeling that disconnecting feeling from life, a similarity to when you finally finish a book and walk around, not sure how to proceed. It was her body that pushed her to tap on the name as it began calling her up. She looked up at Ethan, noticing him looking at something behind Max, but quickly regaining his stare at both the girls in front of him. With forced movements, Max placed the phone up to her right ear and heard a repetitive tone. She couldn’t herself, tell if she was scared, angry, or insouciant about the whole situation. Trying to focus on the issue at hand, she simply tried to make it convincing, so the consequences, whatever it could be, wouldn’t come into play.

“Hello?” A soft female voice suddenly sounded, coming from the phone. Max was thrown back for a moment, as the voice sounded that of a young girl. Couldn’t be older than sixteen. Max sent one final contemptuous glare towards Ethan before she turned her body slightly. “Hi, is this Abigail Petersen?” she did her best to hide the annoyance in her voice.

“Yep,” the response was short, prompting Max to provide more information.

However, before she could, Ethan pulled his hand out from his pocket and pulled out a picture and briefly showed it to Max. It was portraying a young, blonde girl, giving a big smile to the camera. It didn’t take long for her to realize that it was a picture of Abigail and that he was showing it to create some sort of guilt inside of Max. However, she tried to brush it off and continued.

“Okay, this is Max, I’m calling you–“ Max suddenly had to stop her sentence as Ethan clapped with his hands, making her look up.

“Say your full name” He made no attempt to whisper, but his voice was quiet enough that the girl on the phone wouldn't have heard hear it. Max silently growled at him, before clearing her throat.

“This is Max Caulfield. I’m ehh…” when it finally came down to it, she actually had no idea what to say. She had to be convincing so Ethan wouldn’t scold her or something, but being too convincing might hurt the girl she was talking to. Hell, she might even call the police. “I’m responsible for destroying Arcadia Bay” she made it short, making it sound like a prank call and hopefully making her hang up before she had to explain further.

There was a long pause as steps could be heard from the other line. “That really isn’t funny,” the girl suddenly said with a downhearted voice.

“I know. I’m…” The words kept stopping before she could say them, but even so, she didn’t know what she could possibly say. There was no apparent merit to her words and no reason for this challenge. “I’m the one who did it though and I assume that one of your family members used to live there,” and then came the click. Abigail hung up the phone.

Max looked up at Ethan, trying to confirm if this really was what he wanted, but strangely enough, he did seem pleased. “Continue” he just nodded.

Chloe took a sigh, walked two steps to her left, and rested her body on the wall while crossing her arms. “This is stupid,” she said mostly to herself. It sure did feel stupid, Max thought to herself, but she had already begun calling the next person up. If every conversation would be this short, the worst that could come out of it, was just some slightly pissed off people.

“This is Alex,” A man said in the phone, as Max prepared herself.

“Hi, this is Max Caulfield” she felt a little more secure than before as she lifted her shoulders, feeling a slight chill pass her by.

“Max Caulfield? The girl from Blackwell?” He responded with a contemplative tone, as bottles could be heard clacking in the background.

The response caught Max by surprise. “Do I know you?” For a second, she had forgotten about the challenge as her curiosity took over.

He responded with a short chuckle as Max looked up, seeing Ethan already holding out a photograph, showing it with a stretched arm, hiding a smirk. The photo showed an elderly man with a thick beard starting to turn gray and thin hair on top of his head, wearing a warm smile on his lips, having his left arm around a young boy, grinning with his eyes closed, his messy brown hair falling down on his forehead. There was no chill, yet Max could feel the goosebumps on her arms. She stared at the reflective face of Warren on the still photograph. She pulled the phone slightly away from her ear, as Alex began speaking again, but his words were only noise to Max. Chloe had looked at the photo as well and was now looking concerned at Max.

“Warren’s father?” It was like acid working its way through her vocal chords, as her heart constricted itself and made her legs weak.

“Yeah, that’s me” Alex’s voice could be heard again with a hesitating lift in his voice.

Max quickly pressed the phone against her ear, while keeping her focus on the image, feeling too much in a single second, she tried to speak. “He was… one of the last people I spoke to before…” she wasn’t sure if she was speaking around herself, but the words got pushed from the bottom of her stomach.  

Alex scoffed deeply. A sadness distorted through the phone. “What did you talk about?” His tone was calm and solemn.

“I… I told him… that I would make everything right” She paused, not knowing if she was lying or not. She just stared at the photo in Ethan’s cold hands making a confused expression while doing so, trying to recall their talk but failing. “And he trusted me” It felt like her words were caught by the wind, scattering around her. A quiet thump was heard as Alex took a breath. “Look, Max, I know you and Warren were good friends. I know how hard it is to suddenly lose someone like that. The last thing we talked about…” he took a breath again, but this time, it was shaking. “We talked about some old movie I pretended to have seen. I did that often. He would get so passionate about some movies and I… wanted to be a part of it” his voice got higher, nearly trembling. “We talked over the phone. He would call me every now and then and I would just put everything on hold to focus on his words. It’s funny; I can remember his voice, but somehow…” It didn’t register, but Chloe could see Max’s mouth open and her eyes widening, refusing to blink. “I’ve forgotten what movie he was even talking about at that time” He was trying to hide the weeps in between. He must have thought Max had called him to talk about Warren, to cope with what happened. “But I would give everything to watch it with him for once, instead of just pretending”

Max stood still, her voice halted, her eyes turning red.

“Did you ever watch a movie with him, Max?” Alex asked with such a clear tone.

“I’m…” She felt cold all around her body, her eyes stuck on the photograph, seeing Alex smiling in the photo, imagining it was impossible to take that smile away, but now, she was hearing his sad voice and could think of nothing but that. It was only when she felt the tear touch her cheek; she could get herself to respond. “Warren was one of the kindest people I have met” she blinked, creating another tear. “You could only be proud of him, Alex,” She said this quick as she changed her focus to look at Ethan, her spine feeling as if it made of lead, making it painful to move a single muscle.

He looked through Max, watching something behind her, a cold gaze in his eyes. The sound of Max’s pounding heart echoing around her. Ethan took a breath and changed his line of sight slightly as he put the photo back in his pocket, then lifted his chin and his right arm up in the air, pointing towards the sky with his index finger, like he was signaling to someone behind him. That exact thought struck Max, but a second too late, as sounds of scratching metal pierced through her ears behind her, followed by a sizzling. Chloe was the first to turn her head, just as she noticed a robust man standing next to a gray car in the parking lot, placing something on the side of it before quickly leaping out of the way. Max’s heart stopped promptly as she looked too, but was forced to close her eyes as something ignited, silence, then an explosion. The bang was loud compared to their otherwise quiet surroundings and even though the explosion was small, clearly meant only for the single gray car, it could still be felt these hundred feet away when the back of the car jumped slightly, metal scraps being scattered closely around. A deep thump passed through Max before she could register what had happened; if there was anyone in the car that just exploded. Opening her eyes quickly, she saw the gray car with the back completely torn apart. However, despite what action movies would suggest, there was no sparkling explosion of fire reaching up to the sky, but simply, a wreck of metal, barely any smoke. Max hadn’t realized she had screamed until she felt Chloe grapping her, cursing something too quickly to interpret. The man that had jumped away from the car looked back at Ethan and gave a shaky nod. He looked all too familiar and there was no mistaken the still face she could remember lying around a pool of blood.

_Ethan’s brother…_

She felt Chloe holding her tighter by the second, her right arm wrapped securely around her stomach and the other resting uneasily on her shoulder. A number of scattered yells could be heard from around the parking lot, even the muffled ones coming from inside of the mall. Neither of the girls knew how to react, how to stop the shaking of their hands and the furious pounding of their hearts, smashing against their chests.

“Well, Max” A rising voice passed by. “I guess you better start making some calls quick” With a voice stretched in superiority, Ethan flipped his head to the side and placed his right hand down into his pockets to prepare to show the next picture, for the next person to call.

“Max!” It was like a whisper, but the intensity in Chloe’s voice was clear. Her stare was far and her eyes scanning the area as if she was staring out from a hill onto a vastly changing landscape. “We have to do it, right now” She placed her lips close to Max’s ear, her warm breath sliding across her face, her fingers digging into the side of her stomach. “End this shit”


	20. Phoenix Ignition

There it was. The first bird she had noticed to fly by. It was gray with a green shine to it, its wings spread out, letting the wind carry it. Just behind it came another trying to catch up, this one occasionally flapping its feathery wings, struggling to gain speed. There were only two.  
She looked down again, taking it all in at once.

The repetition.

The yells.

The threat of death.

However, nobody dared to step outside of the mall. They only looked from behind the glass doors, yelling in synchronization like caged animals singing in a choir.

A small group of people had gathered close to the entrance, curious as to why they heard an explosion. Their bones pressing up against their flesh when they saw the destroyed car and the person waving some sort of device around, threatening to blow up the entire mall if any of them called the police. It was most likely an empty threat, but Ethan’s brother looked more psychotic than Ethan himself, but in completely different ways. Ethan had an analytical way to carry out his plans. His brother, on the other hand, was more psychical and more insane looking. He was frantic. Maybe he would actually blow something up if they pulled out their phone. It’s not like he could prevent someone- anyone- from eventually calling the police, however. It was only a matter of stalling. To give Max as much time as possible to continue with the challenge before it would all go to hell. Chloe was aware of this, but she hadn’t gathered all the pieces yet.

“You just fucking ruined it for yourself” Her voice was startled, her body language open.  
“When the police arrive, you will get arrested if they don’t shoot you and that guy with the fucking bombs first” She looked like a confused storm, wondering where to place her feet.  
“We don’t have to take your shit anymore. Since you made it clear that you won’t kill Max, we can just wait, and if you want to kill me…” her eyes shifted from Ethan, down onto the pavement.  
“Max will just kick your ass” It felt awesome saying it. She felt the words tickle her throat, prompting to lift her chin up to show superiority. When she heard Max sigh in her usual way when Chloe said something dumb, she pushed herself away from the wall she was leaning against and gave her a friend a subtle thumbs-up.  
  
“I can see you’re catching up Chloe” Ethan finally reacted, curling his fingers and blinked a few times.  
“But if Max does decide to just wait, I will just signal Nicholas over there to blow up another car. He has the means, and I’m sure he doesn’t care if there are people in the car” He said it so carefree and forthright, making Chloe tighten her face in annoyance.

“So you’re basically just becoming some sort of terrorist?” Max quickly broke in, lifting her right hand up to her stomach.  
“You’re willing to kill innocent people, just to get what you want?” She lowered her head slightly but kept looking in the direction of Ethan, doing her best to disregard his movements.

“I know it sounds like a preachy villain to say this, but hey,” Ethan tilted his shoulder to the side, touching the bottom of his jacket with his left hand as Chloe watched Max take a quick breath and blinking hard once.  
“It’s all for the greater good”

Max wanted to respond, but couldn’t come up with much to say hoping Chloe would speak for her once more, but understandably, Chloe stayed silent as well. Only frantic talking could be heard coming from inside the mall, with Ethan’s brother– Nicholas, as he just now revealed his name, occasionally yelling around threats.

The first to make a move was Chloe as she took a step closer to Max, trying to catch her attention.  
“Max, it’s not like you have an obligation to keep saving people,” she said somewhat loudly while slowly placing her hand in her right pocket.  
“Ethan is just playing on your fear. It’s just like that fucking quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald” Chloe swiftly pulled out a closed pocket knife from her pocket, tapped Max on the back of her hand with a finger and then put the knife in the back of Max’s pocket before she turned her attention towards Ethan, being careful to only look at his face.

He looked down at Chloe’s hand with an emotionless expression, seemingly waiting for her to continue, but when she had stayed silent for a couple of seconds; he broke in and shook his head. “She’s right, Max. It’s your choice if you want to keep going”

Max made sure to not visible acknowledge the knife she now had in her pocket as she looked at the phone in her hand, noticing the high-pitched beep that had dug into her ears, giving her a mild headache. She didn’t even remember hanging up on Alex, but the screen had returned to contacts and there was nothing but silence. She quickly considered the fact that the phone must have some hidden number that’s nearly impossible to call back, or else Alex would have probably done that right away when he had heard the explosion. She looked again, scanned the names, seeing the next one in line “Birte Stærker” a name that she had never heard before, even having trouble pronouncing it in her head, but it made sense that some people living outside of the United States would have family in Oregon. She felt fairly secure that none of her friends had close relatives outside of America however, so though it wasn’t exactly fair, she still felt more at ease calling strangers. She quickly scanned the names underneath, but when she saw the name "Chloe Price" right underneath, she took a breath and tapped on "Birte", feeling too embarrassed to look at her friend.

”Hej, du snakker med Birte”

It only took a second for the person the pick up the phone, shortly startling Max, hearing the elderly female voice in her ear, speaking a foreign language. She sounded like someone from Scandinavia, but Max decided to simply ignored it.

“This is Max Caulfield, I was responsible for destroying Arcadia Bay and killing all those people, including whatever family you had, that lived there,” she almost laughed. Not because she found it the least bit funny, but the exact opposite. She found it so incredibly mean to say, and she felt disgusted right down to the bottom of her stomach for saying those malicious words so quickly. However, she knew she had to get it over with fast and with Ethan listening; she couldn’t even try to be sympathetic about it. There may even have been a chance she couldn’t understand English.

Just like with Abigail, a pause entered, prompting Max to hold her breath.

The first word in response was barely a word. Just a drowned out voice, trying to speak while inhaling air quickly. Max held the phone tighter to her ear. It took her a while to realize that the old woman was trying to silence the sound of her crying, but when she heard the quick gasp of air, her legs became weak as she pulled her left hand up to her head and pressed her thumb up against her forehead.  
Max worded “Please, just hang up” with her lips, but it accomplished absolutely nothing.  
All she could do was to listen to the struggle of the woman trying not to humiliate herself. “Why can’t you just hang up?” Max whispered so quietly that she knew the woman couldn’t hear it. It was tearing her apart.  
She added more pressure with her thumb and closed her eyes shut. One weep became two. Every time she was out of breath, she sucked it right back in. Every now and then, she was mumbling some name, as if she was trying to get the attention of someone in the room, but it sounded like she was in pure agony.

“I KILLED THEM! I KILLED THEM! FOR FUCKS SAKE, I KILLED THE PERSON YOU LOVE!” Max finally snapped from hearing the sounds that made her feel absolutely disgusting and the only way she felt she could get out if it, was to shout. It didn’t make sense. Maybe her intention was to scare Birte to hang up, or maybe the guilt had finally gotten to her. Maybe this was the way of admitting to herself that she had killed so many people that had families, who cared and loved for them. She was still yelling, but it had become a quiet, drowned out, yell, there was no single word being formed. Just a loud and sharp breath passing through her tightened throat and out of her mouth. Finally came the click, the woman had hung up, but Max continued with her rage.  
“FOR FUCKS SAKE!” She yelled distressingly as she dropped the phone and stomped the ground, just missing the phone with her foot.  
“Ethan!” Her voice was hoarse, she could sense Chloe watching her, unsure what to do. Unsure if it was her intention to yell and scream.  
“I give up! Blow up all the cars you’d like” She stared at him, blinking several times to moisten her eyes.  
“Take the phone on the ground and throw it away or some shit!” Max vaguely signaled to the gray phone on the ground while Chloe had stopped breathing for a single second.

It took a short moment for Ethan to respond as he stayed still and just watched Max closely.  
“I know you could shoot me, but stabbing me is a little more violent” He responded with a neutral tone, only swinging his right arm a little.

Chloe whispered out a curse word as she swung her head to the side.

“What are you talking about?” Max asked, taking a small step back, curling the fingers of her right hand.

“The knife Chloe gave you” He looked disappointed while furrowing his eyebrows, wrinkles appearing on his forehead.  
“You are not giving up. You just want me to bend down to get the phone in front of you, so you could stab me,” his voice continued in the line of being apathetic as if he was talking to a menacing child.

“Tss, when did I give Max a knife?” Chloe felt her heart speeding up, seeing the upfront hope quickly passing away, as she flipped her head once more, she removed her blue bangs from her forehead.

Ethan turned his attention towards the black-dressed girl and looked like he wanted to shake his head.  
“Just after you mentioned F. Scoot Fitzgerald” Such a condescending voice he chose to use as she placed his hand down in his right pocket, apparently realizing that he didn’t get to show the photo of Birte.

Chloe heard his words and quickly looked at Max, seeing her hold out two fingers on her left hand, her face still being red, but she had seemingly calmed down a little. Chloe wanted to stand closer to her, give her some needed comfort, but every movement was crucial and she had to focus and try to block out the ongoing yells from Ethan’s brother behind them and all the people in the mall.

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they’re watching their whole life falling apart and all they can do is stare blankly,” Chloe said with a chill in her voice, looking at the wall beside her.  
“That was the quote,” she explained.

Ethan scoffed and then made a corned smile while turning his attention to Chloe.  
“You are quite the mystery Chloe,” he began, quickly catching her attention. It was odd, but Ethan had spent most of his time focusing on Max.  
“You haven’t actually forgiven anyone, have you?” Not that the attention was nice.  
“Even Max. I know it would complicate things if you told her how you really feel, but no person in the world can simply forgive what she did. Not because she killed your parents” It was as if he was holding a rubber knife against Chloe’s throat as it was painfully obvious that he tried to stir up some drama between them.  
”But because Max saved you, without your contempt. She deprived you of your own destiny, in order to not lose the ground you provided underneath her feet”  
The rubber knife suddenly became metal, his words suddenly hitting a nerve. Chloe began swiping her shoulder as if there was something crawling on her.  
“It’s not fair that she rips away your chance of finally feeling like a decent human being by sacrificing yourself for the people you love, and that it’s somehow you that ends up feeling like you owe your life to Max, is it?” Ethan was just a shape of piercing noise to Chloe as she forced herself not to look to her right, feeling the sweat on her scalp.  
“The only reason you want to stay alive is because it would be selfish to just give up after Max placed the weight of hundreds of dead human beings on your shoulders. The responsibility is tearing you apart. It’s not your life anymore” Max watched him closely, checking to see if he made any repetitive movements again.  
“You are only the shell to home those who died and every time you look at Max, you are reminded of the guilt you are forced to feel. When your parents died, so did you. The only difference is that Max has deprived you of your freedom as an individual. You are sick of being a reminder, a symbol of suffering, when all you want to be, is a daughter that your parents could be proud of” He was still. Barely moving a muscle.

It burned so fiercely, like acid rain hitting your scraped skin. She heard Max whisper some pathetic attempt to console her, but this was it. The last straw. She vigorously turned her head towards Max and glared at her, waiting for her to respond to her silent request. When Max nodded, looking recognizably frightened, Chloe took two swift steps forward, picked up the gun with blanks on the ground, and as soon as she had it in her hands, she aimed towards the ground underneath her and pulled the trigger.

“ONE” She yelled, firing off a blank.  
“TWO” Her voice cracked as she pulled the trigger again, the loud noise of the blank, catching and empowering the first shot.  
“THREE!” She shouted just before flipping the gun upwards, angrily aiming it towards Ethan before pulling the trigger. A thin cloud of smoke appeared, an even louder bang than before sounded as a bullet could just barely be spotted being shot from the barrel. It hit Ethan in his right shoulder before he could react, making him jerk his body backward as he made a snarl.

Her adrenaline had shot up, their plan worked, but the anger was still rushing through her, kicking the nerves in her body around, burning the inside of her skin. She kept the gun aimed at him, her hands shaking. “PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS IN THE AIR, AND IF IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE EVEN CONSIDERING REVERSING TIME, I SWEAR YOUR BRAIN WILL BE SCATTERED ONTO THE PAVEMENT BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN BLINK”

Chloe’s yelling frightened Max, even though the anger was more than understandable. Her eyes were blue daggers and the gun she held in her hand was still, perfectly aimed at Ethan’s head. She looked like a different person, a cold and murderous girl. If Ethan said something wrong, anything that could be conceived as a threat, there was no doubt that Chloe would pull the trigger, but the thing that made Max shut her mouth and stay perfectly still was the fear of getting shot herself. It was not logical, but her body sensed the danger, even though she knew something crucial about the gun that Ethan didn’t. The fact that she had just now used the only real bullet in the gun, but luckily, Chloe was convincing and Ethan clearly didn’t know what to expect. However, when Max looked again at her friend, she noticed something off. There was something about Chloe’s expression. She was not just mad at Ethan. She was mad at herself and everyone around her.  
Ethan must have sensed all this as well as he kept quiet and slowly began lifting his hands up into the air with blood escaping the wound on his shoulder, coating the inside of his jacket red. His face was showing the pain he was in, but it was also showing his contemplating about how a gun with blanks could have fired a real bullet. He didn’t want to vocalize his confusion though which would show vulnerability.  
Chloe who had taken control of the situation was now also wondering what the next step could be. She quickly took a breath before she took a step closer to Ethan, keeping her arms stretched. Their best bet was to wait for the police to arrive while keeping him convinced that there were more bullets in the gun.

“How did you do it?” Ethan finally caved, wanting answers to satisfy his curiosity as his right arm began shaking.

Max was unsure if it would be a good idea to tell him. It would place him in a critical spot if they exposed his secret and lies, but that might make him react more violently.

“You think we’re so fucking stupid, that we wouldn’t prepare a plan for when we would meet you?” Chloe suddenly began speaking again, with the same aggressive tone in her voice.  
“Yeah, you did. I know,” she continued, answering for him.  
“But Max saw through your bitch-ass lies” When she began explaining the details, Max automatically reacted as she said her name. At this very moment, it felt like Chloe was something more than just a person. An untouchable temptation, a dissipated divinity.  
“She outplayed you, Ethan”  
But she was still just a person. Fragile and filled with fleeting and bound emotions. She was not a symbol or a reminder, nor a God or blessed with sanctity. She was a girl. A pissed off one at that. She watched her, enveloped in black, with her red tie hanging loosely around her neck. She waited for her to look to her right, to look at the girl who was observing her. She held her position though and continued.  
“She figured out that your memories get rewound as well, when she rewinds time” She had taken control of the situation, beginning to tell Ethan about their plan, hopefully with the intention of diminishing him.  
“It made no sense that it seemed like you knew when Max rewound time, but she didn’t know when you did it” She let go of the gun with her left hand, but kept holding it with her right, stretching her arm.  
“So we tested you, without you even being aware of it” The disparaging of Ethan looked like it was working as he showed signs of wanting to crumble into a ball of self-loathing with Chloe having such an edge of superiority in her voice.  
“We set the time when I gave Max the pocket knife. A reference point” Chloe turned her body slightly and looked down the sight of the gun.  
“When I first pretended to give it to her, in a different timeline, I mentioned the name Friedrich Nietzsche” Max turned her attention towards Ethan, who was struggling to keep his hands in the air, but his exasperated expression remained the same.  
“By continuous signals and tapping with our fingers, we made sure Max and I knew when we should do what. So when I drew your attention towards me, Max rewound time so you wouldn’t notice in case she had moved when she stopped” For a second, hearing the plan after it’s succession, Max found it oddly impressive that Chloe– both of them really- were able to keep track of everything.  
“After that, in the current timeline, I made sure you noticed when I actually gave her the pocketknife, but instead of Friedrich, I said the name F. Scott Fitzgerald” Ethan finally changed his expression, seemingly realizing his mistake.  
“We knew you couldn’t help but to boost your confidence by giving off the impression that you were in control, so Max pretended the plan was to stab you, so you would mention the pocketknife” Chloe gave a quick nod in Max’s direction.  
“So by getting you to say whichever name you heard when I gave it to her, we knew whether or not you had realized Max had rewound time. Since you said F. Scott and not Friedrich, we knew that you had just pretended that you kept your memories when Max rewinds. When, in reality,” It was astonishing how confident Chloe kept her posture.  
“You are just keeping track of when things change. Because Max was freaking out before she saw you by the mall, after you fucking shot me, you could assume that she had reversed time before that point and act accordingly” There was no way around it; Chloe had somehow managed to consider and analyze the situation more thoroughly than Max had been able to.  
  
“It still doesn’t explain how you were able to shoot me with a real bullet” Ethan titled his head slightly to the side, presenting an annoyed look in his eyes.

“After we realized you memories gets rewound too, we exploited that” It was finally her time to show ascendancy.  
“Max had described the gun you had used previously and it just so happens that I have a gun that uses the same type of bullets. So I carried a bunch of them in my pockets” Max felt relieved that Chloe said the word ‘bunch’ when in reality, she just had one with her, the one she had already used.  
“I couldn’t carry a gun around me at all times, especially not in a mall”  
  
“But there’s no problem when carrying a pocketknife?” Ethan broke in, speaking in a mordant voice while trying to gather all the pieces.

Chloe quickly sent a look towards Max, signaling her to take out the knife from her pocket and show it to Ethan.  
“Not if there isn’t any blade in it,” Chloe had just said when Max began presenting the wooden pocket knife, showing how it had been hollowed out where the blade should be.  
“I had placed two bullets inside the shaft, so when I gave it to Max, I actually gave her ammunition. She managed to place them in the gun, along with the two remaining blanks, and since objects she has in possession aren’t affected when she rewinds time, she could reverse time, place the gun back on the ground with the ammunition and since you were too busy talking shit, you didn’t notice anything” By this point, Max would have expected Chloe to wear a superior smirk of some kind, but her lips were a straight line, her eyes still staring intensely. She was still immensely angry, though her voice tried to hide it.  
  
“When she gave me the signal, I knew it was all ready”  
The distance between them became shorter when Chloe took another step.  
“And now, I have a loaded gun at your head”  
Sirens could be heard wailing close by, getting louder by each second.  
“And this shit is going to end here”


	21. God, Protect Your Children

With each wailing siren that passed through her ears, her heart jumped.

_Just a minute more._

The situation called for confidence– pride- but it was difficult not to be pessimistic. It didn’t feel like the end. Ethan may be caught, sure, but there were still wounds that needed healing. Subjects to be discussed. Secrets to be revealed from both of the girls. Max knew Chloe had secrets, and Chloe… she may not have known the white lies Max had been telling her every now and then, but right now, as Max watched her this close, so close she could see a ligament in her hand moving, she knew how Ethan had ripped open an unhealed scar too quickly and too forcefully. It was constant, the pulsing and rhythmic blood, spreading, flowing to her head, heating up her body. She felt so incredible alive, but so painstakingly scarred when she looked at Chloe. She was presenting her inner anger outwards, towards Ethan. It was all guilt in the center, branching out into annoyance, fear, and sadness.

Nobody was saying anything. Ethan was huffing; Chloe held her breath, Max was all caught up in her thoughts of trepidation. The gun aimed at Ethan began wavering slightly; Chloe must have gotten tired in her arms. All so unreal and all too recognizable.

_I need to say something._

Her mouth opened, her throat shut close.

_Chloe needs you to bring her up right now._

Max took a quick glance at Ethan, specifically his shaking right hand. He was tensing too much, the pain from the shot probably really setting in. His fingers periodically bend downwards and every now and then, he lowered his head, as if he was trying to use his movement tricks again. Max quietly looked down and took a few breaths, trying to pull her lips in an upwards arc. As soon as she lifted her head again, she took a step closer to her friend.   “That was awesome, Chloe!” She kept presenting her smile. “You showed him who’s boss” Max felt the cringe tickling her neck, but she aimed for a positive outcome.

Chloe kept her stare and her stone-cold look, barely reacting to Max’s words. Not even a glance in her direction. She looked all too tall, her chin lifted high and her teeth being locked together. Her exterior was unbreakable, coated in a cold tension. Untouchable and advantageous. It was as if Max was somehow beneath her, looking up at her dead-eyed friend. “When the police get here, it’s over. We can finally chill again” Max tried her luck once more.

_Fuck._

It was all too obvious how it would fail; it was as if Chloe’s very face was telling her to keep quiet. Even weirder was the fact that this had been the first time, in a long while, that Max had felt she actually had to try hard to speak with Chloe. She had to consider and then force out words in an uncomfortable way and when the result wasn’t satisfactory, it could be felt with an annoying prickle. All she could do now was to wonder what happened between the moment when Chloe stood right behind her, trusting her completely to protect her. Working together to execute a plan, through planned, although at occasions, improvised signals and signs, which required a close connection for the other partner to understand. It made her look at Ethan again, his fingers were no longer bend and it looked like he was holding his breath with an empty stare in his eyes. Amidst the ongoing sounds of yelling from the people from the mall and the sirens wailing, a new sound suddenly presented itself. It was first a screeching noise, like rubber against pavement, which quickly turned into the coughing sounds of an engine. Max realized one crucial mistake when she turned her head to look at the source. Along the line, between all the precautions and distractions, they had forgotten to pay attention to Ethan’s brother– Nicholas. As she saw the car speeding against them, with an intense looking, brown-haired man behind the wheel, charging towards them, she knew that Ethan’s movements with his hands were not meant for Max and Chloe. It was meant for Nicholas. Chloe had already turned her head as well, and the only danger was not just the car only about 20 feet away from them, but the possibility of an explosion on said car. It was completely by instinct when Chloe pressed her right leg down onto the ground, to then leap out of the way with awkward movements. Only when Max saw this did her body respond, but it reacted too quickly for her body to properly process and all that mattered was to get out of the way, making her stumble slightly, forcing her to toe-jump out of the way with a heavy grunt. When she landed stiffly on the pavement, she felt the thrust pass through her chest, unsure if the car had hit her or not. Chloe had stuck her body to the wall beside her, avoiding the car by several feet as it kept on going. She forced out a hiss as she saw Ethan had taken advantage of the situation and had begun running towards the backside of the mall, small amounts of blood being caught in the wind resistance. Chloe lifted up her right hand and aimlessly pulled the trigger of the gun, somehow hoping a bullet would be shot and hit him, but it was pointless. She was just about to run after him, when she heard Max make sounds of pain, lying with the front of her body down on the ground. The car had stopped around ten feet in front of them and the fear of it exploding was still relevant, so making a quick decision in her mind, she decided to aid her friend.

“Max, are you okay?!” She yelled loudly while running towards her while hearing Ethan’s footsteps get further away.

“Chloe!” Max instinctively responded while pushing her upper body up from the ground. “I- I’m alright” She could barely process what had happened and could hardly get a feel of her body, but she had fortunately jumped away in time, avoiding the car. Chloe wasted no time as she grabbed Max by her left arm and began pulling her up. “We have to get out of here!” Chloe demanded while putting the gun in her front pocket.

“What about Ethan?” With Chloe’s help, Max managed to get on her feet quick as she placed her hand on Chloe’s arm who was biting her teeth together, visibly stressed.

“We don’t have time! We have to get to my car before the police arrive!” As soon as Chloe said this, Max shut her eyes open and looked at her confused.

“What?” Max questioned with a heavy breath, not understanding Chloe’s trail of thought.

“Now, Max!” Her tone was hard and demanding, gently pulling Max in her arm, prompting her to start moving.

In annoyance, Max ripped herself free from Chloe’s grip and smacked her hand away. “What the fuck are you talking about?! We need to tell them what happened so they can arrest him!” Max was surprised by her actions, but her adrenaline had taken over and felt angry by Chloe’s forceful request.

Chloe responded by pushing Max's back, nearly making her stumble forward as she began raising her voice. “Just GO!” She yelled with such an authority her voice, that Max had no choice but to simply flip her head to her side in anger before she began running towards the parking lot with Chloe following closely.

She wanted to yell something back, she wanted Chloe to clarify why they should escape, now of all times, but she must have known something that Max didn’t, which hardly helped with her anger as she spotted the worn-out green car they had arrived in.

“Give me the keys!” Chloe commanded while running just behind Max, her hair being pushed back, exposing her dramatic face clearly. Max decided not to argue and began digging around in her pockets without slowing down as she felt the metal touch her fingers, making her pinch the key chain the car keys were locked into and slowed down slightly so she could throw them to Chloe. As Max looked back up, a police car could be seen arriving on the road to their left. The wailing became obnoxious, distracting her from her thoughts as she ran around the car and opened the door to the passenger seat, Chloe quickly getting in the driver’s seat. Neither of them putting their seat belts on and Chloe anxiously fiddling with the keys, trying to get them into the ignition.

When the car finally started, Max held off her desire to question Chloe further and remained silent instead, trying to get into a steady pace of breathing. She looked back, trying to see if she could see Ethan’s brother who was seemingly still sitting in the car at the spot they were standing on just seconds ago. It all seemed unreal, unnecessarily intense and frightening. As Chloe began backing up, Max felt her ears itching, making her rub the side of her face. “This is fucked,” she whispered mostly to herself when Chloe had put the car in second gear, speeding up and driving through the exit of the parking lot. An acute desire to swing the door open and just jump out presented itself, as if she was stuck in a car with a psycho but she quickly regained her reasoning, holding her breath when they passed the police car, driving quickly past them. A breath she held until they were far enough away for Chloe to finally blink and loosen her limbs.

“Trust me, Max” Chloe began speaking without wavering. “We would be in a shit-load of trouble if we were at the scene when the police arrived. Especially since Ethan managed to escape”

 _Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!_ Max’s anger was still burningly present, wrapped in confusion and disappointment. “This is hardly any better! I feel like we’re fucking fugitives now” With so many memories of avoiding the police in the past, it finally felt it would be the right time to have them involved. “Our lives are in danger, Chloe. We could tell the police what had happened and help them catch the guy that could very well have killed us” Max sat back in the seat and ran her nails along her thigh.

“It wouldn’t wor–“

“Now Ethan escaped and we’re back at square one because, for some godforsaken reason, you wanted to run away from the only opportunity to end this we had” Max cut off Chloe, visibly displeasing her.

“Shut up” She responded in a somewhat hostile way but kept her voice low. “I was the one with the gun, in front of a pool of blood. We were standing only feet away from a car that had exploded” Chloe forcefully changed gear to fourth while giving a resume of what happened. “We’re not fucking innocent, Max. Just because you know what happened, doesn’t diminish the fact that we shot a guy and when Ethan escaped, we were the ones standing outside of the mall. We have no proof that we were the victims, when we could might as well have been to ones that started it all, and for some funny-ass reason, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ethan had proof that would make the police think we were actually the ones behind it all” Chloe took a quick and loud breath, letting Max know that she intended to continue. “Instead of letting them arrest us or whatever, we wait and see if they catch Ethan’s brother, see what kind of information we can find on him, link it to Ethan himself, then we call the police and without placing ourselves in the story, we inform them of what we know. Hell, if they catch Nicholas, they’re bound to question Ethan anyway” Chloe finished explaining the circumstances and sharing her plan. Even though it seemed prudent and for some reason, the safest bet as well, a lingering annoyance still prickled Max across her back by the fact they had been so close to ending it all.

However, when she remembered why she wanted it all to end, her thoughts took a different turn. The desirable end would be the stepping stone of a new start. A start with Chloe and her, finally being alive for only each other and themselves, finally loving life again to full extent. Opened by revelation, driven by passion, and secured by love. Wanting only a fragile piece of heaven that shivered in dark times, but unbreakable in the light.

“Alright, but… Chloe, I ehh–“ Lifting her hand and awkwardly but caringly placing it on Chloe’s leg, Max felt the sickly air around them, as if they were mad at each other for chasing the same dream but staring at different paths. “I want to understand what’s hanging above you that makes you feel so shitty. Like, specifically” Hoping that the question wasn’t self-explanatory, she added the last part and looked her friend over.

“Yeah, the core of everyone. Wanting shit handed to them” Chloe had barely acknowledged Max’s hand on her legs. Matter of fact; it seemed to vex her, further manifested by her snarly tone. Downhearted by the response, Max removed her hand and retreated her body a little away from her. “Well, what do you want then?”

Chloe looked considerate for a moment, her pupils widening. “You know what I want? Honestly?” It was if something finally opened but in an ominous way. A balloon popping. “I want to love life, I want to love you, I want to have sex with you, I want to let everything just snap and lose control” She spoke quickly, her eyes staring at nothing, her mouth forming the words with exasperation as Max watched her hands starting to become uncertain of themselves, switching around on the steering wheel. “I want to watch every chain I have break and finally go insane” The shaky breath she let out, revealed her body’s state of fear. All the visible signs of an anxiety attack were presented, but rather than closing herself off as she used to, Chloe gave in to every defeatist feeling passing through her mind and body. “That’s what I want because I am fucking tired of fighting” Her state frightened Max, unsure how to handle the situation. “I’m tired of trying to be happy”

Deciding to stay still, Max focused on her words, trying to come up with a heartfelt response of some kind, but most of all, she watched her shifting eyes, trying to make sure she wouldn’t suddenly lose control of her body. “Yes, I am having some sort of mental attack and I’m sorry that I am treating you like this, but right now, I don’t want to act rationally and say the right things” Chloe, showing she was self-aware, sighed at the end of the sentence and blinked a few times, stretching her neck as well. “Above everything else, though, I want a drink”

It took a while for Max to process everything as she took her words literally and tried to figure out what was currently feasible. It was hard seeing Chloe always on the edge and her last and most wanted request seemed doable. “We can drop by the shop and get something,” Max said it carefully as if wanting to pet a bear with a stick.

When Chloe stayed silent in thought, it prompted her to continue.

“We can get some grenadine, vodka, triple sec, and orange juice, so we can make some Orange Crushes” Max knew this would peak Chloe’s interest as she recalled the last time they were mixing drinks. It was a recipe Chloe had remembered from her 18th birthday and apparently, she loved it even though it tasted like drinking a watermelon with rust in it according to Max’s descriptive words from that time after she had already drunk two.

“There’s a bar like half a mile from here,” Chloe still sounded tense, but her eyes had stopped frantically moving around. “I’ll just stop there” Although, now she had begun tapping her left heel with a twitchy pace as she often did when she was nervous.

Max silently frowned upon the idea, rarely having a good time in a bar, and considering the recent events that were still very much relevant; getting home to plan a strategy as soon as possible could be of importance. However, not wanting Chloe to feel worse, she nodded confidently.

“When you get home, just tell gramps that I’m… well fuck, just tell him I’m in a bar somewhere” Chloe’s words made Max quietly shift in her seat as she realized that she implied that she wanted to go to the bar alone. Max kept quiet, considering to either say something mildly funny or just to stay quiet. Options that soon became irrelevant though, as to the truth of Chloe’s words, the bar had been pretty close, given that she could already see the white block letters on a plate above a building spelling out “Red Feather Lounge” next to a logo of what was, quite creatively, a red feather.

Chloe gazed onto Max, sighed deeply when she looked away. Some of her black nail polish being scratched off when she grabbed the door handle and stepped out of the car. It was still somewhat early in the day, the sun shining down on them in a less than glamorous way, but the self-proclaimed lounge had still decided it would be a good time to be open, for reasons Max couldn’t quite fathom. Instead, she lazily got out of the car as well so she could shift seats given that she had no other choice than what Chloe had given her, and drive home alone.

As she stepped around the car, she considered the exchange of words about to come, or at least the parting sentence, but looking down at the ground she saw Chloe’s black shoes in front of her and was forced to stop rather abruptly, almost walking into her friend. She was met with an apologetic face looking a little off of her eyes.

“Listen, Max,” she began with a vacillating voice. “I know that you’re probably annoyed with me, and I am sorry for just bailing… like, before and now, but,” a flicker of hesitation made Chloe pause and Max look away as to not pressure her friend to doubt her words. “If we just go straight home, we’ll end up talking about what happened, and it’s not…” the exact same thing repeated itself. “I just need a little time to go over it in my own head, rather than in words. I’m still totally up for fighting evil and all that everyday hero shit, but I’m so stressed out that I’d probably end up saying something that I would regret, hell, I already have, so I think it would be good if I could just… you know, if I could… think or…” the frequent pauses and uncertainty prompted Max to take over.

“I get it. It was some heavy shit, and it’s a good idea to process it before we move on” she made it short, trying to wrap Chloe’s words into a sentence, making her know she heard her subtle request.

She saw how delicately Max pulled it off and couldn’t help but to hide a smirk as she nodded twice. “Thanks, Max, I eh-“ despite their close distance, Chloe took a small step closer and shifted her feet slightly. “I will call you soon, just to let you know I’m alright” She said this in order to push herself the final inch closer and gave Max a second to prepare herself as she rotated her head ever so slightly, giving Max a soft and quick kiss on her lips, but however quick it may have been, it hit Max like a truck. As if she had been touching the water with her toes for hours now, and she could finally feel it beginning to rise.

She didn’t say goodbye. She just waved her right hand as she walked away. She looked like a mess, but she needed this. Not just the alcoholic beverages, but also the time. It passes slowly, but it’s only when you close your eyes for a long time and then open them, that you notice the tide has risen. Max hastily went into the driver seat of the car, feeling the need to be surrounded by something, as to not drift away in the water she could sense on her knees. It was always changing. The person in the water, the girl in the pit. They were never in more distress than manageable at the same time, because they knew if one of them were drowning, the other was there, had to be there, to go in and save them. It shifts. The person to freak out and the person that did the comfort. Max played back her talk with Chloe, seeing how Chloe’s yells were not directed at her. More like the world. Hell, at once it even looked like she was yelling at heaven for not weeping for her. The more Max thought about it, the more she realized how melodramatic she was making it. Either that or she just needed to distract herself. Because the water was no longer at her knees. It had worked its way up to her neck. And Chloe wasn’t there to grab her hand. She felt clingy.

 _I don’t need Chloe being here every single second._ She thought, finally putting the key into the ignition.

 _I am a strong independent woman._ She amused herself.

 _I am strong._ The car started, her heart reacting.

 _I won’t break._ The water had reached her face. It annoyed her eyes. It wasn’t just about Chloe, and she knew it. The weight could finally be felt and it took more strength than usual to move her right arm and change gears.  
She blinked. No tears.  
The car moved forward, her hands tightening around the steering wheel.  
She didn’t dare to blink again.


	22. The Rabbit Under the Tree

At the moment she could hear voices coming from the television set from inside the house, she pondered about the possibility of finding a latter and crawl inside through the window to Chloe’s room. She wanted to lie down so bad, but it could be no other than Alfred sitting on the couch inside and she had never really talked with him without Chloe leading the conversation. Maybe she could just slip by, a small greeting and she’d be on her way to Chloe’s bed upstairs. Having stood right outside the house for nearly a minute she was tired of her contemplating and decided to just walk inside. She was greeted with a warm and stuffy air, but besides her shoes, there were not a lot of clothes to take off to counter the heat. As soon as she closed the door behind her, she could hear Alfred shifting on the couch to see who had stepped inside.

“Hello,” Max said politely as she walked into the living room with Alfred sitting in the usual place on the faded green couch, watching what appeared to be the news.

“Oh, hi Max” Alfred greeted back before clearing his throat. “Didn’t get anything from the mall?” He asked when she saw that Max was empty handed.

_Shit. We were supposed to bring him his medicine._

“No, we met some friends along the way and kinda forgot. Oh, and eh- Chloe decided to hang back with them” Max was quick to think of a lie that sounded believable. “Is your medicine deal urgent? Like, I can go back and pick it up” She said it with an intentionally tired voice but knew it had to be done if necessary.

Alfred just huffed and turned his body back towards the television. “No, don’t worry. I’ll just pick some up tomorrow. I only asked Chloe because she wanted to go to the mall with you anyway”

Making a crooked smile, Max nodded silently and looked at the state of peace Alfred seemed to be in. It was a nice change of pace and all he was seemingly worried about right now was the empty pack of mixed nuts on the table in front of him. “Alright,” She said quietly while walking through the small living room. A few quirks that Alfred had, reminded her a bit about Chloe. It was not hard to tell they had spent some time together and he did seem as a calm and understanding man from what she could gather. It made her think of how different Chloe seemed just half an hour ago. She had been on the edge for a while now, saying fewer of her regular catchphrases and making less inappropriate jokes. It had been so long since Chloe had yelled at Max and it was crushing feeling. Digging her toes into the carpet on her next step, she came to think that there must have been something about Chloe she had missed. Something she didn’t know about her well enough. She stopped in her tracks and looked at Alfred once more, sitting carefree in the couch, watching the news.

“I don’t mean to bother, but can I talk with you for a moment?” Her throat tightened, wondering where she was even going with this. Alfred turned his head slightly with some sort of chipmunk smile on his old face. It comforted Max to some extent and she came to the conclusion that if there was something she didn’t know about Chloe, Alfred might be better informed.

“Only if you gather the three jewels spread across the land, may you blessed with my wisdom” Alfred responded in an all too serious voice while closely analyzing Max’s face who simply was wondering if he was having a stroke or something. “Alternatively, you can go to the kitchen and grab me some nuts? I’ve been out for half an hour now” He chuckled with a deep voice, stating that was partially joking. Even though it made Max slightly uncomfortable how quick he was to break the ice, she couldn’t help but give off a genuine smile as she nodded. “You got it” She responded before turning around.

_I wonder if it’s Alfred that is similar to Chloe, or Chloe that is similar to Alfred…_

As Max found herself in the kitchen, looking for nuts, she couldn’t shake the thought of the two of them practicing bad jokes to each other all night, like two partners planning world domination through questionable means.

_If he had blue hair in his youth as well, I’m going to lose it._

Grabbing a packet of nuts under a shelf, Max returned to the living room and presented her gift to the wise old man.

“Ah, wonderful. Thanks, Max,” He said quite innocently. If he truly was similar to Chloe, Max would have to take precautions. Firstly, she pinpointed her choice of sitting area. The chair placed opposite of the couch the mystique man was sitting on. Secondly, she hid her neck. The most vulnerable spot. Then, finally, she watched him pick a nut from the packet, getting ready to avoid the potential projectile. He was suspiciously slow about it, but Alfred did eventually place the misshaped nut in his mouth with a satisfied look in his eyes. Maybe he was a more mature version of Chloe.

“So you wanted to talk, or did you just want to watch me gobble salty nuts?” He smiled. Max squirmed her eyes, trying really hard not to call him out on his choice of words. “I’m sorry, Max” Alfred suddenly apologized as he grabbed the remote with a subtle smile and muted the television. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable with bad jokes. Chloe just told me that you’re kind of shy, so I thought it would be best if I just broke the ice right away. Make it a little easier to talk to me perhaps,” He stated quite honestly to the surprise of Max. If she were to be honest with herself, it was somewhat nice that Alfred seemed like the type of person who would say something dumb right off the bat, so the other person wouldn’t feel self-conscious.

“So Chloe already told you my life story, huh?” Max questioned, trying her best to psychically acknowledge Alfred’s theory.

“Ah, just a few things. She admires you a lot, so, of course, you come up in conversation every now and then” Max instantly smiled as it felt genuine, hearing it from Chloe’s grandfather. However, it also made her feel like the boyfriend about to get a disguised threat from his girlfriend’s father.

“I like her a lot as well. Mutual love and all that” Between her smile, Max nearly choked on her own words. It came out completely wrong. “I mean, I don’t love her like that, I just-“ and in the attempt correct herself she managed to just make it worse. She had clearly dug herself into a hole, now impossible to get out of.

“You don’t?” Alfred was quick to question with a neutral expression.

Unsure if Chloe had actually told Alfred anything about the relationship between her and Chloe, a relationship that they haven’t even specified, all Max could do was to show a flustered face and shrink into her seat. “I just meant that she is my best friend” Digging her nails into her seat and carefully watching the elderly man in front of her, she took notice of his position on the couch and how it seemingly discomforted him with the light of the muted television flickering mild shadows across his face.

He tugged a little on the orange shirt he was wearing and took a short breath through his nose. “Hm. I shouldn’t mettle, but I thought you and Chloe were a couple,” He said it so nonchalant, seemingly more focused on getting into a good position that wouldn’t hurt his back.

“No! I mean- what would give you that idea?” Unsure of Alfred’s knowledge of the situation and how much she was allowed to share, Max could only hope to be abducted by aliens at this very moment.

“Chloe and I just had a talk yesterday that made me assume– you know what, I probably just misread something. I’m sorry” Alfred apologized politely even though he clearly handled the situation way better than Max.   
  
“Oh. I don’t– hang on” Feeling more awkward than she thought could be humanly possible, Max swiftly took out her phone from her pocket and began to quite anxiously swipe and tap different places on the screen until she managed to open up messages and began writing a message to Chloe.

I know you wanted some time alone, but I just have a quick question. Does Alfred know about us? I’m in a conversation that makes me want to jump into a pit of sharks in embarrassment, so I just need to know what I should avoid saying. Sorry to bother you.

She tapped the send button as if her life depended on it, quickly looking at Alfred then back down at her phone. “I’m just eh… texting my mom” she cringed. Alfred simply stayed quiet and nodded slowly. A few seconds in excruciating pain passed by until the phone in Alfred’s pocket began vibrating and playing a catchy melody. In a calm manner, he took out his phone and placed it against his ear. “Yes?”

Even though Max was sitting a good amount of feet away from Alfred, she could quite clearly hear Chloe’s voice coming from Alfred’s phone. “Max totally digs me and we’re more together than the eyes of a kid with hypotelorism”

Alfred nodded. “Right on”

“See ya’”

“See ya’” With smooth movements and the poker face of a mob boss, Alfred ended the shortest conversation man had ever witnessed, slid the phone back in his pocket and looked up. “It was your mom” His tone was light and was pulling off the most self-assured sideways smile.

Internal screaming was occupying Max’s mind, but she showed the most expressionless face she was able to. “Mhm mhm” At this point, she felt just as she did years back when her mom walked in on her dancing in her underwear, just to tell her that their pet hamster had died. Just an absurd and uncomfortable situation.

“So!” A feeling that Alfred had clearly picked up as well as he straightened his back and sent the look of a man ready to move on and never look back. “You had something you wanted to talk about?”

Max caught a glimpse of the television, still something about a news report. The headline apparently being “30-year old man arrested for child rape accusations” and while being shocking, it still confused Max that the huge headline wasn’t what happened at the mall. It concerned her, but, even though she knew it was false comfort, it actually brought a sense of relief as well.

“Yeah,” Max quickly snapped out of her thoughts and paid attention to Alfred in front of her. “Not so surprisingly, it’s eh, it’s about Chloe” Her voice fell flat as she sucked a little on her bottom lip with Alfred’s silence prompting her to continue. “I’ve known her for a long time, and… I think I’m good at reading her most of the time, but she’s been talking about- or, well, someone mentioned her parents a while ago, and it seems to stir up some emotions that I don’t really know how to react to” As Max began explaining, she recalled Ethan referring to Chloe as a daughter, just after asking her if she was a Christian. At first, she had just categorized Chloe’s rant about religion as a way to let off steam, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of there being something more to it. “It’s like… she’s not a peace. Like she’s trying to fight some unknown force. I don’t know if it has anything to do with religion, but…” It was difficult for her to explain. Of course, desolating feelings would be understandable after losing one’s parents, but it somehow seemed different.

“She is struggling to find comfort, yes” Alfred’s expression suddenly changed slightly, his whole body getting put down a notch as if a weight was placed on his back. “In times where the world is against you, it’s only natural wanting to cling on to anything you can find” His eyes were blank like two marbles. “Listen, Max,” he said without looking up. “When David died, my connection to God became stronger. Not because I wanted it to, but because I needed it to” he made a small twitch with his shoulder, warding off an uncomfortable chill. “I know that people argue that religion is hereditary or that faith is only created when you want something. That because you don’t know how to deal with problems, you become weak and start holding on to fabricated thoughts of a higher power to find some sort of false solace”

Max began rubbing her hands, listening carefully to his words, gracing the surface of the atmospheric sagacity.

“And I have never been one to tell other people what’s true or false, but at some point, you hit bottom so hard that you don’t have the power to climb back up. Having a reason to keep trying is essential at that point, and believing that the reason for me to keep going, is that the people that I used to know and love are still rooting for me, is why I don’t give up” Alfred momentarily looked at Max as he let out a breath. “Chloe don’t believe in the stories of Jesus being born by a virgin and all that. She just calls it an excuse for Mary not to be labeled as a… you know” He shrugged. “But somewhere along the line, I think she hit bottom and couldn’t get up without a rope. And that rope, for her, is the thought of her parents looking down on her and cheering her on, but she is struggling with that thought” The feeling of sincerity clung to Max, her heart slowing down to focus entirely on his words. “She is afraid to grab the rope and start climbing, in fear of the rope smoldering halfway up and falling down again, even more tired than before”

Unnoticeable, a light from a window on the far wall had begun shining through and lighting up a random spot on the carpet. As Max looked at the frame of dust around the window, she felt uncertain of what to say, and even though it was only temporary, she felt a disconnection from the world around her, whereas life took place inside her mind, characterized by flashbacks and wonderings about Chloe, religion, life, and the influence of deceiving emotions. Max chuckled slightly when the thought of having an existential crisis hit her. “Thanks, Alfred. That really helped. I hope that someday you and I can have a relaxing conversation that doesn’t revolve around such a downcast topic” She sent him a small smile that lit up his face as he smiled back. “But there’s something I need to take care of right now” Max stretched her body as she got up from the chair and took a breath. “Let me know if you need more nuts or something,” She said with a humorous tone while signaling to the opened box of mixed nuts on the table in front of Alfred.

His response was a simple nod with the smile still glued onto his face as Max began walking towards the stairs leading to Chloe’s room.

“Oh, and Max” Alfred suddenly let out, stopping Max in her tracks and making her look back at the jocular expression on Alfred. “Being that you’re Chloe’s partner, I think David would say that it’s obligatory for me to tell you this” Halfway through the sentence, he forced his lips into a straight line. “If you ever hurt my little girl, I will hunt you down and destroy you” His voice was deep and while he did his best to make it a believable threat, it was still clear to sense his facetious intentions.

Max sent a small smile towards Alfred, her feet standing on the spot where the light had been shining through, warming up her toes and filling her with a sense of comfort. “I would go to the end of the world to make her happy. Trust me”

…

_Come on._

Being in Chloe’s room seemed surprisingly odd without Chloe. Looking around at all the CD’s lying around, the wrappers from candy bars and the smoke-filled air, surely having taken at least a year from Max’s life; it didn’t seem like a room that Max could ever imagine being her own. She disregarded that thought and looked down at her phone, waiting for Chloe to call her as she said she would, but not even a text message had been received. Instead of wasting time by torturing herself, and her back, by just standing hunched over her phone, Max decided to make the best of being in Chloe’s room alone by deciding to entertain herself by checking every corner to see if she could find some sort of hidden stash or something. It was not as if she expected there to be a box of diaries under Chloe’s bed, but Max herself had her sketch-drawing folder hidden behind a drawer in her own room, so it wasn’t inconceivable Chloe could have something to that extent. Of course, as she began searching in the closet by the wall, she had considered the morality of her actions, but honestly, not being a snoop is a nice thought, but it’s not like every person wouldn’t be just a tad curious. Besides, it seemed like a harmless way to kill some time. With that mindset, after quietly opening the closet against the wall, Max stuck her head into the bottom of the closet to find the piles of socks and underwear that was not so neatly stacked- which of course meant that no one would notice Max searching through it.

_What am I even hoping to find in here? Only half-embarrassing thing I could imagine her having would be heart-dotted panties._

Pushing the socks aside and beginning to shuffle through the stack of underwear, she couldn’t help but feel like a panty-raider and had to convince herself that her subconscious intention wasn’t to get a kick out of raiding Chloe’s underwear.

_However, heart-dotted panties would be kind of cute. I should totally buy her a pair one day._

She had spent a suspicious amount of time with her head in the closet until she decided there was nothing to be found and moved on. Like a predator with heat-vision searching for a helpless prey, Max scanned the room once more, squinting her eyes and focused her mind on possible hiding places for small items.

_I already saw the nothingness under her bed when I searched for my phone. Maybe the drawer in her nightstand?_

Max remembered seeing Chloe place and take out miscellaneous items from the drawer, but mostly just makeup and bracelets. As she looked on the wall to the left of the single window in the room, she noticed the nail hammered into the wall with no picture underneath. She had wondered about it before, but thinking the picture that used to hang there was of David or Joyce, she hadn’t felt like questioning Chloe about it. However, it had intrigued her and maybe the picture could be in the drawer. It brought up enough curiosity for her to walk next to Chloe’s bed and towards the nightstand with the small lamp on it.

_Ten bucks that I’m going to find candy in there._

Placing a bet with herself, Max opened up the drawer and saw what she had expected. Eyeliner, mascara, badges, and a single bracelet that was suspiciously un-punky for Chloe’s taste. It was a leather bracelet with golden metallic squares decorating it. The first surprise to be found was the lack of candy, but what really caught her attention was the empty pill bottle. It was tube-shaped with transparent plastic and a label sticking to it with bothersome small text and the hand-written name “Chloe Price” across it. Max picked it up and read the description.

 **Bromazepam**  
For short-term treatment of insomnia, anxiety and panic attacks.  
**Doses**  
1.5 mg two or three times per day.  
**Caution**  
Taking higher than therapeutic doses, or therapeutic ones over longer periods of time, can lead to dependence and thus withdrawal if bromazepam is discontinued, especially if this is done abruptly without tapering. Withdrawal symptoms can include headaches, insomnia, tension, muscle pain, palpitations, panic attacks, vertigo, visual, auditory and tactile hypersensitivity, abnormal body sensations (eg. motion sensations, metallic taste), acute sensitivity to certain frequency ranges of sound, numbness and tingling of the extremities and epileptic seizures. Symptoms may become very serious with convulsions, tremor, abdominal and muscle cramps, vomiting, sweating, confusion, delirium, hallucinations, hyperthermia, and psychosis.

_Holy shit._

Reading the caution was like reading the entire list of possible dangerous symptoms that could possibly exist and it didn’t sit well with Max. She knew that Chloe had taken those pills for a while after what happened to Arcadia Bay and everything and that Chloe at some point had stopped taking them, but she was unsure if it was done abruptly. The bottle was empty and she recalled Chloe saying she didn’t think she would need them anymore, but it was unsettling seeing all the possible downsides to suddenly stop taking the medicine.

_The bottle is empty, so maybe she just tapered. Even though she told me she had thrown the pills away._

Her chest felt lighter and she could feel the customary prickling on her neck. She couldn’t take her grip off the pill bottle and she couldn’t stop the thoughts rushing through her mind. It was difficult to perceive why she felt so uncomfortable, but breathing in the thick air brought a sensation of perturbation. It was as if her heart paused and then beat heavily twice when the phone behind Max began vibrating. Without a thought, Max dropped the empty pill bottle and began brisk walking towards the phone. As she got closer, she could see by the displayed name that it was Chloe who was calling. She didn’t give herself enough time to feel relieved that she finally called as she had already accepted the call and now holding the phone close to her ear.

“Hey, Chloe” Despite her best effort, her words were stretched in a tense voice as she felt the sun from the window heating up the left side of her body.

“Hey, Max” Chloe’s voice didn’t do a better job at not sounding ominous however as it was slow with an uncertain feel to it.

“Ehm, thanks for clearing everything up with Alfred. It was quite awkward” Listening closer; Max could hear some indistinct chatter in the background.

“Max… what do y- what do you think my purpose is?” The blurred fluency and the decrease in her speaking rate suggested that Chloe was at least mildly intoxicated, making Max quickly change her approach.

“What do you mean? Chloe, are you alright?” She held the phone a little closer to her ear and spoke with a firm voice, wanting a clear answer.

“I’m- I think… I think I’m fucked up” She took a breath. “After school, when I was like fucking 14, there was this place, a club thing, where you could just hang. It had these rabbits that were assigned owners. I sat outside on a grassy field with a small brown rabbit. It was actually my friend that was taking care of it, but… it ran around, fucking curious, wanting to analyze every grass straw, and I laid there under some kind of cherry blossom tree, with the pink leaves just falling down around me. I felt at peace, because… I felt empty. The rabbit was the only thing that felt real; everything else just sort of… vanished. It’s not even… fuck” She sounded in distress, unsure where she was going with her story. “It’s just that… so much has happened. Is happening. I need to know if all the fear is worth it” It surprised Max just how emotional Chloe sounded, her voice becoming quiet- nearly vibrating.

“…It is. There’s so much to fight for and you’re making all the difference” Her heart slowly began speeding up as she mimicked Chloe’s tone of voice. The room Max was standing in suddenly felt uncomfortably big as if the walls were moving away from her, yet the air began feeling even stuffier.

“God, this spiral. The mental worry of a psychical reaction will only enhance… I don’t know” She cut herself off shortly. “All this tragedy and pain... like, what does it take to actually feel good? The constant fear of being in danger, the constant and nagging worry of you getting hurt. All this stored anxiety… when it finally hits me, like really hits me” The indistinct chatter had become louder, suggesting that Chloe was still inside the bar but standing off in a corner. “Do you think I am capable of handling something like that?”

Max paused and sighed, letting Chloe know she was still there, but being unsure of how to respond.

“I’m not sure I am ready to find out how strong I am” Her voice suddenly went a pitch higher. “I’m not sure I can handle it”

“Are you still at that bar? I can come pick you up right now and we can talk about this” It was no longer just the sunlight from the window that brought an uncomfortably warm sensation to her body.

“I… I am. But…” Her distorted voice through the phone made it sound like she was close to sobbing, making Max’s stomach feel uneasy.

“Chloe, stay with me. I’ll be there in no time”

“Am I better off just breaking?”

“Chloe, you’re scaring me. What are you saying?”

“Max… do you think suicide is a sin?” Her voice gradually broke down and her breath became shaky.

The chill that went down Max’s spine benumbed her. The feeling of ice water being poured onto her back, her legs locking up. “What?! Chloe, stay where you are! You hear me?!” She said it loudly and frantically. Her whole body drenched in breathtaking fear.

The silence came first, striking Max with distress. Then came a single sob.

“CHLOE?!”

Chloe’s footsteps could be heard as the noise in the background became louder, “I’m sorry” was the first and only response. The phone clicked.

A stifling surge ran through her veins, she felt sick with apprehension as a sudden shock of urgency kicked her in the stomach making her frantically look around for the car keys, still holding the phone against her ear.

_Chloe, for FUCKS sake!_

When she spotted them on the table, she swiftly grabbed them, the metal pressing against her skin as she immediately ran through the door and out of the room. The rapid heartbeat pounding through her chest, her throat tightening, adrenaline permeating her body.


	23. Red Feather

She didn’t know how fast she was driving but it was a thought she couldn’t care less about. It was well over the speed limit no doubt, but her foot kept adding more weight to the pedal as she heard Chloe’s words echoing in her head and the mental images of her in horrific situations. She tightened her hands around the steering wheel with every nerve-racking feeling of regret that passed through her body.

_I shouldn’t have left without her! She was so vulnerable! She was probably freaking the fuck out and I couldn’t see it!_

The sun had gotten lower on the sky, beginning to pass down the horizon, sending an orange glow through the streets that were reflected elusively by the empty road. She could feel her sweaty back sticking to her white shirt she was wearing underneath her beige hoodie and the hairs on her neck standing straight up. It was rare she had ever felt so scared, with so much adrenaline pumping through her body. Another thought that had occupied her mind was the decision to drive past the pharmacy without stopping. She had considered getting some of those pills for Chloe in case it could help her calm down, but not only didn’t she have Chloe’s prescription; it would also cost what very well could be crucial time. She had never considered Chloe being capable of doing something so awful as killing herself, she never thought of her as being a person that would ever think about something like that, but all these fear-inducing events mixed with the possible symptoms of abruptly stopping her medication- if that was the case- could have messed with her mind to extreme levels. Luckily, Chloe had left the gun in a hidden compartment in the car, so it was not as if she could just shoot herself. It made Max wonder what other methods Chloe could possibly use to cut her life short. As she eventually felt a sickly feeling in her throat, she saw the damned sign with the red feather. It was the bar where Max had set her off and hopefully, the bar Chloe was still sitting in. A few cars were parked around the building and the bright lights shining from inside suggested that the bar was fully open with people drinking and partying inside. Normally she would wince at the thought of all the desperate people trying to get laid, all the over-exited girls and boys screaming every time someone took a shot, but all she could think about right now was Chloe’s well-being. Quickly scanning the area around the bar, she couldn’t find any decent places to park the car, so she as she slowed down, she simply pulled a little to the side and stopped the car almost in the middle of the right lane. Only when she went to pull the keys out from the ignition did she notice how still her hand was. She would have imagined her whole body shaking, but in this urgent moment, her body was focused and ready to take action. Max jumped out of the car and as he began running towards the entrance. She looked around for any sign of Chloe, but the bar was placed at a corner of the street, so it was difficult to get a good vantage point. She would have to check inside the bar if she was still there, or if people had seen her leaving. Max slowed down as she saw the bouncer at the entrance, a buff, short-haired male with a way too sturdy jawline. She decided to look straight forward and did her best to maintain a calm expression and nonchalant body language. The bouncer looked at her carefully and at the moment he saw that she was planning to enter the bar, he held his left arm to the side, covering the entrance, with his other arm irksomely holding his waistband.

“Do you have ID?” He asked with a blank expression and a non-surprisingly deep voice as if he was reading a line out of a script he had practiced his whole life.

“I need to see my friend” Max responded with authority and confident in her voice, making sure the bouncer knew she was serious and didn’t have time to waste.

However, the confidence seemed to bounce off him as he barely reacted. “I can’t let you in without identification and I’m pretty sure you know that” He responded with a tired voice, clearly not the first time having heard that line.

As she was just about the knee him in frustration, a guy that had stood outside the bar and smoked stepped close to Max and looked at the bouncer “Hey man, if she just has to see her friend, I can follow her in there and have her out again within 5 minutes. No bullshit” The guy spoke with a sort of New Jersey accent. His short, blonde and greasy hair was combed back, showing his asymmetrical face and a nearly squared nose. Even though he looked skinny he still had the features of a guy that worked out regularly. Max would have thanked him, but all she could think about was getting inside and could barely steady her breathing at the moment. The bounder did a slow turn with his head and looked down on the heroic man in his twenties. “Matt, you drunk bastard, you know the rules” he sent a smirk back, signaling that they knew each other, which very well could work in the favor of the frantic Max who just wanted to speed things up.

“Firstly, I’m as drunk as a bird that hasn’t been drinking. So… pretty sober. Secondly, I’ll just take her in there to ask the bartender if he has seen this pretty lady’s friend and then I’ll guide her right back out. No problem” He held his hands back with smooth movements, meaning to show no harm, which seemingly worked well on the bouncer as she sighed and looked very well as if he was considering it.

“If both of you don’t step out of the bar within five minutes, I’ll go in there myself and psychically throw you out” He ended his sentence by looking sternly at Max, making her nod instantly while holding her breath.

The bouncer took a quick look around before taking a step to the side to let them through. “Thanks, man. Alright, ehh…” the guy hesitated as he stretched his arm to let Max walk inside. She barely caught the subtle request for her name in his uncertain sentence.

“Max. My name is Max” The situation felt so unreal and she found it difficult to not faulty react to the situation. Her vision had become slightly unfocused and words seemed to bounce around as if they were spoken inside a large, empty building.

“Sweet name” he simply complimented as he stepped inside the bar behind Max. She had been insecure whether or not it was obvious to see that she had a serious issue to take care off, but the blonde man’s approach seemed to indicate that it was not so visible.

“My name is Matt, very nice to meet you” His lines were expectedly written for him in the social script, but Max didn’t have time to play the game and stayed silent as she began looking around the bar.

There were many words to describe such a place, but it was meaningless to do so. One could mention the people stumbling around, patting people on the back, being overly friendly in an attempt to be accepted, which of course worked when the target group was drunk people. It was also clear to categorize the group of girls in tight clothes, waiting for guys to approach them, then act as if they had self-respect, as if they didn’t want to be groped on, while in reality, that was exactly the reason they were here. To act as if they had class, to make guys work for the permission to grind up against them. Of course, that was just a portion, there were also the group of friends just hanging out in the corners of the bar, but the stereotypes were there as well. The music was of course too loud, with the ongoing beat that might as well be a song called “Drum hitting the pulse with synth over it” playing on repeat. A group of people yelled over something so ridiculously meaningless that they might as well just go home and put an apple in a glass of water and be amazed when it floats. Again, a lot could be said about a place like this, but in Max’s current mood, it would only be described with negative adjectives.

“Hey, Max here is looking for her friend” Matt began yelling at the man behind the counter serving drinks as he approached the counter with Max following behind, still eagerly looking around for the head with blue hair on top.

The bartender responded with something inaudible as Max could feel her anxiety kicking in. She could barely focus when everything around her seemed to move in double tempo. She looked down on her beige hoodie, keeping her uncomfortably warm and even though a scarf would only make it worse, she still missed the calm sentiment it provided. She then looked at Matt speaking with the bartender. He looked like he belonged here, with his trendy shirt that looked just clean enough and just messy enough to be considered charming. Max quickly looked away when Matt turned around.

“So, what does your friend look like?” He asked with a tilt in his voice and a raised eyebrow.

“Blue hair, black clothes” Max got increasingly worried as the crowded room blocked most of her vision of the bar and she was increasingly considering just to yell out Chloe’s name, but with the music and people already yelling, there was a slim chance of her- or anyone more than two steps away- being able to hear it.

Matt had luckily repeated the short description of Chloe to the bartender, but when he turned around, he looked displeased “He hasn’t seen anyone like that, but you know…” Matt suddenly leaned closer to Max while placing a hand on her back. “She might just have gone home” His hand began rubbing around on Max’s back, as his face was now uncomfortably close to Max’s left ear. “Maybe you just need a drink to calm down” His breath reeked of cigarette smoke mixed with a thick smell of alcohol.

Max’s body was still in panic mode and her breath hadn’t slowed down. “I don’t need– I need to find her” Max stumbled over her words, trying to pull a little away from Matt’s approach that quickly got more aggressive.

“Hey, come on now. I helped you out, so maybe you and I can just let loose and have a good time instead” His hand slowly but surely began moving downwards and when he began massaging Max’s hip, she instinctively jerked her body away. However, Matt didn’t give up and was quick to use his other hand to grab her arm and pull her back in. “Just relax,” he said with a demanding tone and with everything happening so quickly, Max could barely comprehend the situation and hardly knew how to respond as she was far too occupied with thinking about Chloe.

“I don’t…” Max whispered, her stomach tightening and her body shrinking. “Please stop” Her eyes were dry, making everything seem blurry, only seeing the exchange of drinks in front of her with Matt moving his head around to face the ambivalent girl he was holding onto.

“I can make you feel better, Max” With a swift move, his hand was suddenly on her behind and grabbing her ass. Max yelped without thought as she more forcefully tried to push herself away from Matt, but he was using most of his strength to hold onto her as he was pushing his pelvis against Max. “Stop!” Max yelled, squirming and her heart hurting her chest with its rapid beats.

“That’s my cue” A male voice suddenly sounded from her left as a young man with long and ginger hair stepped in and forcefully pushed Matt away from Max while pushing his chest out, clearly trying to intimidate him. “So, you get the fuck out right now, and you ass-grabbing hands might still be attached to your arms tomorrow,” he said it so confidently despite clearly being smaller and weaker than the guy he was threatening.

“Come on dude, I was just trying to show the girl a good time” Matt took a step forward as all Max could do was to watch the situation play out, taking another look at the guy who stood up for her. He didn’t look like he belonged in a place like this, with a simple plain shirt and pale skin with bags under his eyes.

“Why don’t you show me a good time then, huh?” Even though Max had just become aware of the guy, he completely changed his initial character through his expression that became more vibrant and his voice which became frighteningly raucous. “Yeah, I’ll suck your cock and you pay me for the cab home” Even though people around them had been throwing glances every now and then, most of them seemed fully invested in the dialogue at this point. “I’m into wild monkey sex, though, so imagine this” Fearlessly, the guy quickly stepped over the line of social boundaries and began mimicking a monkey, jumping around and doing some sort of weird dance. The people around them began laughing loudly, every single person were bursting with laughter, everyone besides Max who was completely and entirely confused. The dancing guy abruptly stopped his dance and made a crooked smile in Matt’s direction. “Just 100 percent more naked and with a stiffy that your fat mouth couldn’t even gobble up” The contrast between his words and the serious voice in his tone, made the situation seem not just awkward, but as if it was a performance. Everybody, including Max, was looking at Matt and his staggered expression; he was nearly sweating at all the attention and the uncertainty as to how to respond. “You’re fucking crazy, dude,” Matt said almost as if he was offended, taking a step back, looking his opponent over one more time before he turned around and simply walked away, grinding his teeth and being completely dumbfounded. The crowd was still laughing with a few people cheering and raising their plastic cups.

When Matt was eventually out of sight behind a group of people, the guy who had just done a monkey dance turned to Max with a crooked smile, showing his blue eyes that shined with jubilation. “You alright?” He asked with a woozy voice and upon closer inspection, a few signs of him being intoxicated could be seen with his slightly red eyes and unsteady body movements, but even though all the signs pointed towards the man being drunk and possibly deranged, Max still felt as if he was in control of himself and didn’t feel particular at unease around him.

“I’m fine, thanks” Max eventually answered, well-knowing she didn’t have the time nor the ability to process what had just happened, therefore her mind simply went back to her main priority. “I appreciate what you did, however weird it was, but I really need to find my friend, sorry” She gave him a single nod before readying herself to search the bar for Chloe, and the time limit the bouncer gave her was also something worth to take into consideration. It was actually a surprise he hadn’t shown up yet, given all the commotion.

“That’s just how you deal with guys like that. Ehm- who are you looking for?” He blinked a few times while moving some if his long hair behind his right ear.

“A girl named Chloe. Blue hair, black clothes” Max decided to quickly describe her in the hope of the guy having seen her around.

At the very moment Chloe’s name was mentioned, he pulled his head back in surprise and gave off an irresolute smile “Oh shit, you’re Max?”

“Yeah? You’ve met Chloe?” Her hopes were instantly raised, thinking that the guy might have talked with Chloe at some point and she had mentioned her.

“Remember that link that was posted on Twitter about your personal information?” He responded, looking as if he was waiting for a reaction, but just as Max was about to make the connection, he chose to clarify. “And the guy that talked with Chloe about tracking down information about your stalker or whatever?” He spun his hands around in a circular motion and his small smile suddenly turned into a cheeky grin.

 _No way._ Max looked at him without attempting to hide her stunned expression.

“Yeah,” he chuckled.  
“I’m Ted"  



	24. Awake

Shaking her head, Max took a breath and then held her hands in front of her.

“Ted,” she said seriously as her stomach hasn’t settled and her veins still pumping adrenaline through her body. ”Listen to me and give me a straight answer” She raised her voice to outshout the ongoing music and loud people around them, but it seemed she had gotten the attention from him as he crossed his arms, leaned in, and stayed quiet. “Do you know where Chloe is?”

As soon as she asked the question, Ted smiled and curled his lips to keep from chuckling; making Max send him a look of exasperation, not having time for anything that he thought might be funny. Fortunately, Ted saw the soul-piercing expression on Max and looked genuinely frightened. “Yeah yeah, she’s like, sitting at our table just over there” he pointed towards a corner of the club, making her quickly look in the direction, but the crowd of people made it impossible to see the table in question.

The answer calmed Max slightly, but she still had the sickly feeling running through her and she knew it wouldn’t calm down until she had seen her friend. “Thank God,” she exclaimed. “Alright, I’m gonna be kicked out of this bar in a matter of seconds, so please lead me to her”

It was clear to see Ted thought he finally understood the urgency, even though it was only half of the story, but fortunately, he obliged and turned around, leading Max through dancing crowds, drinks in the air and hands going rogue. “So, who was that grade-a douchebag that groped you? I thought he might have been your boyfriend for a sec” Ted asked while elbowing his way through two girls that were clearly underage and with Max following close behind who pretended she didn’t hear the question.

A few more steps on the sticky floor and Ted finally stopped in front of a table placed in the corner away from most people. There were four chairs surrounding the wooden table, but the only person sitting in one of the chairs was not her friend, Chloe.

“Hey Jo” Ted greeted her, making the black-haired girl look up. She looked clear headed, her long hair going down her back with bangs set in an intended position that covered her left eye. She gave a small nod to Ted before looking at Max and giving a vacillating smile. “Where’s Chloe at?” He asked while pulling out a chair, but not showing any signs of getting ready to sit down.

“Ehm, she said she went outside to smoke” The girl answered as a green light coming from the roof passed her, showing the red lipstick added inch-perfectly, her naturally tanned skin barely covered by the midriff purple top she was wearing. “But that was like fifteen minutes ago, so…” she suddenly threw her arms up in the air. “Who fucking knows?” Her shrill voice whistled through the gaps in her teeth but surprisingly, she didn’t seem drunk at all from what Max could gather. However, the response she gave concerned Max, neither of them having any idea where Chloe could be and she certainly wasn’t outside smoking. Quick thoughts of possible locations where she could be popped into Max’s head, but none of them seemed plausible.

_If she isn’t here or at home, maybe she went to another bar? I don’t know the fucking area, though… maybe I should try calling her again. She didn’t answer her phone when I called her in the car on the way over, though, and it was even on… is she actually avoiding me?_

Max swallowed a nauseating ball of spit that had formed in her throat as a chill skid across her arms.

_Or has she really… killed herself?_

“Ted!” Max suddenly exclaimed with a loud voice due to her rising anxiety. Ted jumped a little to the side, amusing the girl sitting at the table. “Would it be at all possible to track down Chloe? Maybe via her phone or something?” Max looked intensely at him, showing him he shouldn’t ask questions, just give her an answer.

He hesitated a little, clearly confused by the strange question. “Ehm…ahhh, I don’t– possibly” he answered dazedly. “If the phone is on and if you know the IMEI of it – the serial number- then the short answer would be yep”

Max instantly sighed as she didn’t even know the serial number for her own phone. “Is it really impossible to track a phone you only know the number of?” Not concerned about sounding ignorant, she asked the most flashing questions that came to mind.

Luckily, Ted looked like he was thinking it through while the girl simply rolled her eyes before taking her phone up her pocket. “Well, if her phone automatically connects to nearby Wi-Fi, which it presumably does because technology is sweet, then the provider of the Wi-Fi can see the devices that are connected. Alternatively, if her Bluetooth is on, then you can see the default name of the phone in a nearby area, but if you’re gold-nose lucky, she has given a custom name to the phone which you could be able to recognize. In addition, if her phone is GPS-enabled, then a GPS tracking service should do the trick. So there are like… options” He explained the set of conditions as he scratched his trimmed chin with a shrug. “But I would have to use my PC to track it down”

Max took a breath through her nose and pressed her thumb against her temple, visibly stressed. “Do you live nearby?” She asked with a soft tone, indicating that she really needed his help.

Opening his eyes wide, clearly showing the redness around his brown eyes, Ted sucked in his lips and blinked a few times. “Seriously, what is going on with her? She seemed totally fine when me and Jo talked to her just a moment ago”

Max exhaled the breath she had taken as she looked hesitantly at Ted. “I’ll tell you in the car on the way to your house?”

As she laid out the not-so-concealed request, the girl with the apparent nickname Jo let out a scoff while Ted had a blank expression on his face. “Yeah, alright. Who doesn’t want to get involved in what I can only assume will turn into a federal crime on a Sunday evening?” His eyes went lazy, looking less than enthusiastic about the ordeal, but the acceptance was the only thing that mattered to Max.

“Thanks. Let’s go” She made movements with her hands to signal him to hurry, but Ted turned half his body back at the table and pointed at the girl who had her right hand up in the air.

“Yeah, you’re not just going to leave me,” she said irritated with her phone in her left hand, the crooked lines across her face, nearly breaking the mask of makeup applied to her face.

“I’m sorry, but this is like… really urgent and private” Max was quick to say to Jo, making her flip her head in annoyance.

“Woah woah” Ted was quick to utter. “She’s cool, Max,” he said earnestly as he took a step closer to Max, revealing a sort of oily herb smell. Max, not liking the idea of bringing along a stranger, crossed her arms and closed her eyes a little.

True to the exchange of body language, Ted sighed, a green light flinging by him as the music stopped for just a second before the new track began blasting through the speakers scattered around on the walls. “Look, you trust me, right?” He nodded along with his own question.

“No” Max ruthlessly answered.

“Which means you can also trust–“ Ted stopped his sentence abruptly when he realized the answer was not what he expected. “Wow, okay, harsh,” he pouted, settling on his feet.

A silence entered, but was quickly broken by Max. “We don’t have time to discuss this, so whatever, bring her along, let’s just get a move on,” She said with a strict tone, well-knowing she was probably coming off as a prig but there was no time to be nice, at least not until they got in the car.

“Oh, I’m fucking honored” Jo exclaimed sarcastically while putting her phone in the purse Max now noticed she was wearing around her shoulders, but to no fault of her own, as the place was insufferable dark and the only fleeting moment when one would be able to do some surrounding observations was when the roof lights passed by.

Max fought her desire to scoff at her and turned around instead, signaling for Ted, and by extent, Jo to follow along. As she walked past a new, but equally as unappealing, crowd, she could hear Ted and the girl talking to each other, but by lack of silence and interest, she didn’t get to hear what they said exactly.

Another unwelcoming wave of unease collapsed on her, making a shiver slightly and her stomach tightening. Every time her brain wasn’t focused on talking to someone or think of a plan, it went straight to anxiety-mode, making her feel disconnected from her body with a nagging fear of losing sanity. It was the classic fight or flight situation, but the tiredness had overcome her body, her eyes felt heavy, but as expected, her mind was fully alert.

“She couldn’t have gone far, Max” An appeasing voice suddenly came from close behind, Ted having walked closer to her, as he must have noticed Max’s unease. “She’s probably wobbling around in the streets, yelling at cats or something” he smiled reassuringly and while he had good intentions, he wasn’t aware of the dire circumstances. Even though she felt surprised by the comfort, it was still hard to believe he would be the first to notice, or at least react to Max’s unease as she felt as if she was standing out like a sore thumb. It couldn’t have been that difficult to point out the clearly confused and distressed girl, just in a whirlwind of anxiety and fear, but apparently she was better at hiding her emotions than she had initially thought. For better or for worse.

“I think she’s suicidal,” Max said without a thought and without an intelligible expression on her face. They had just walked out of the bar and even though Max looked around, the bouncer that threatened to kick her out was nowhere in sight.

Ted let his eyes fall down to the ground as he went silent. The air was cold outside with the approaching night and the already vaguely visible moon that provided the dim light in the streets. The yells from inside the bar became fainter and Max could eventually hear her own footsteps and her own beating heart. “How did you meet Chloe here?” Max decided to question as she tilted her heads towards the worn-out green car to show them which one they should get into.

“She texted me over Twitter” Ted responded with a monotone, stepping off the sidewalk and walked around to the other side of the car, with Jo, just behind Max, luckily staying quiet. “She told me she was at the Red Feather and asked if I wanted to stop by, or she actually demanded it, but… I was somewhat close by, so I took the bus and met her here”

Max was slightly taken back by the thought of Chloe asking Ted to meet her, but he must have made a decent first impression on her. She pondered about asking where Jo came into the picture, but the nerves in her brain begged her to not do it. She was presumably just a friend of Ted’s or perhaps his girlfriend- even though that seemed a little far-fetched. Luckily, Ted continued talking as Max unlocked the car and opened the door to the driver's seat.

“She was sort of drunk when I arrived and I was sort of high, so it was not like… the most formal introduction we made, but she seemed cool. A little vulgar, but cool… and by all visible signs, pretty cheerful” Ted tugged a little on his collar before opening the car door and getting in, with Jo doing the same on the other side.

“I see. Where do you live?” Max asked as she started up the car, seeing Jo adjusting her position in the seat before removing the black scarf she was apparently sitting on.

“991 Daphne Street” Ted responded, making Max realize she had practically no idea where that was as she hesitated to turn the car around or drive forward, which both Jo and Ted was quick to pick up on. “Just eh, turn the car around and take the second left. Then straight for a while” Ted elaborated while Jo yawned before looking for something in her purse. It was weird having a girl sit in the car that she had barely been introduced to, but then again, she did seem rather superficial so maybe the less she knew about her, the better. She was curious as to what Jo, stood for, though. Most likely Josephine she imagined.

“Did she talk about Ethan? Chloe, I mean” Max asked tensely after barely a minute of driving, having thought about the phone call from her.

Ted took his eyes away from out the window and looked thoughtful for a second. “No” He responded confidently. “She just said she was at the bar to calm down. Did something happen with her, because holy shit, my mind is going crazy with theories, ranging from forest fires to dinosaurs with… lasers” He questioned with a hoarse voice just before clearing his throat. “Was that weird? Am I acting inappropriately?” He looked around before locking his confused gaze at Jo, who unaffectedly whispered, “You’re fine”

Unsure of how to respond to the question that somehow went off the rails, Max took a deep breath to buy some time to think. ”Something just happened when we were at the mall earlier”

“Oh yeah, that terrorist attack,” Ted had a reactively calm approach before he lifted himself slightly up from the seat. “Wait. Was Ethan involved with that?” His tone quickly became more perturbed with the apprehensive assumption that Max was quick to confirm.

“Yeah. Or well, it was Ethan’s brother that did it” The constant annoyance of driving past streetlights that blinded her tired vision, made Max rub her eyes with her shoulder as she exhaled slowly.

“His brother?” Ted questioned vocalizing his confusion.

“Yeah”

He lifted his eyebrows, visibly expressing his contemplative silence while Jo seemed increasingly uninterested in the exchange of words, until Ted inhaled shortly, catching Max’s attention. “Sorry for the bombshell, but Ethan doesn’t have a brother,” He said it slowly, but every breath he used to form his words interacted with the nerves in Max’s body as her limbs went loose and her heart skipping a beat.

“What?” 

…

The lights became blurry in the distance as she continuously blinked. Her toes were nearly dangling off the edge of the roof, the wind blowing through her blue hair. Her thin black shirt provided little heat, but she still felt warm from the anticipation. The streets underneath her were calm, only a few people walking by in the five minutes she had been standing on this flat rooftop, just looking at all buildings that seemed so small from this height. She took a shaky breath, the cold air reaching the bottom of her lungs and sending an uncomfortable shiver through her, just as she heard a noise. Footsteps approached from behind her and Chloe turned around to see the man with his hands down his long trench coat. He lifted his head to show the pensive look in his eyes before he stopped and watched Chloe quietly. The wind slowed down for just a second as he blinked once.

“The plans have changed,” he stated with a grim voice and minimal movement.

Chloe let her body lean to the side as she crossed her arms and lifted an eyebrow. “You don’t fucking say” She responded sarcastically just as the wind picked up again, making a howling noise as it passed their ears. With their clothes blowing in the wind, Chloe clenched her teeth and tightened her body while looking disgruntled at Ethan's somber face.


	25. Another Story

“But I saw him. I’ve- goddammit, I’ve seen him twice now” Max’s voice shook along with her hands on the steering wheel, nearly forgetting to turn to the left as Ted had instructed.

“It couldn’t have been his brother though” Leaning back in his seat, Ted shrugged before loosening the seatbelt on his chest.

“How the fuck do you know?!” The exclaim came out louder than she intended, immediately sensing the mistaken hostility in her voice, which both Ted and Jo reacted to. Ted shied a little away while looking puzzled as a dog getting yelled at without knowing its wrongdoings, Jo was, however, more upfront and pulled herself closer to Max with a dissatisfied expression on her face.

“Don’t talk to him like that!” She replied defensively, her vocal pitch sinking. “He’s trying to help, so bag up your bitchy attitude” Max instantly felt like a kid being scolded by a grown up and her first instinctive response was to yell back, but she clenched her body instead and bit down on her bottom lip as Jo leaned back in her seat while looking at Ted who was slowly curling into a ball. The silence that followed was painful, closing in around Max as she slowed down the car with a sinking feeling of shame and watched Jo in the rear-view mirror seeing her brush her black hair away from her blue eyes.

Max sighed and loosened her body, “I’m sorry” she apologized, being unable to stand the tension. “Ted, I’m just confused. I’ve seen Ethan’s brother twice now, so can you please tell me how you know that Ethan doesn’t actually have a brother?”  
  
A few shuffling noises were made as Ted shifted on his seat while sweeping his long orange hair behind his back. “It’s because… well, I’ve done some info scrapping on Ethan and it was pretty easy to find out that he is an only child. Other than that, the man you said was Ethan’s brother, the one at the mall, got arrested after the attack and the police revealed his name as being ‘Nicholas Belardinelli’ with Ethan’s surname being Kestal” Ted informed Max quite marvelously, somewhat bewildering Max to get a read on his personality, given that he showed astounding bravery when he defended Max at the bar, but somehow still acting jumpy and confused.

_He did mention he was high when he met Chloe, so maybe that’s what’s up with his weird behavioral changes. Jo reacted quite defensively, though, so maybe he’s unstable?_

The thought concerned Max to an extent, but given the situation, she decided to brush it off and focused on the salient question. “So the attack has been on the news?”

“If they can call it a terrorist attack, then it will be the headline of anything related to news” Ted made a fair point and it should have been something Max should have thought about earlier as her thoughts went off the grid once more, wondering if she and Chloe had been identified, given the amount of witnesses that saw them. “Not only that, but it’s becoming a popular subject on TTF. At least among those who live in Idaho”

Again, Ted forced Max to ask an unenlightened question, bringing her ignorance into the light. “What’s TTF?” She asked through a breath, trying to randomly guess the acronym, but all she could think of was ‘Timber Trade Federation’ which was probably far off.

Instead of answering, Ted snapped his fingers and pointed at Jo, who quickly replied, “Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook” as if this was not the first time he had used that acronym in the presence of Jo.

“Ah,” Max nodded derisively, not feeling so ignorant for not knowing the answer to that one. “That’s smart,” she said with a forced voice.

“It’s convenient, is what it is” Ted seemed oddly proud of his made up acronym as he looked for appreciation in all the corners of the car, but all Max could give him was a low-spirited smile, while Jo went for the casual thumbs up without even looking at him.

“Has, eh, anyone said anything about Chloe and me being there?” Max purposely focused on her voice to not sound as if would be a huge deal, when in reality, it could have a major impact.

Ted seemed prepared for the question, not even taking a breath to answer. “Not by name, I think, but a few have mentioned that they saw two girls being there and called out Chloe’s eh… distinct hair” he stated, rubbing his eyes and yawning with a closed mouth. “So, let’s summarize, yeah?” Ted eagerly continued, not giving a chance for Max to respond. “Ethan, a crazy stalker, published your private information, went berserk with his friend that he claimed to be his brother. After that, Chloe went missing and we are the unlikely heroes about to embark on a journey to save her” He shortened the issue down in a fairly simplified manner, and with Jo, a stranger, in the car, Max decided to not clarify and simply confirmed instead.

“Yes, pretty much” With her reply, came the guilt of keeping Ted in the dark of the full story, but given that the full story involved time-travel powers and the destruction of Arcadia Bay, it would be anything but stupid to withhold information.

Through the rear-view mirror, Max watched Jo to see if she seemed puzzled or the least bit interested, but she kept her reserved expression, barely moving a muscle. If that was any indication of her already knowing as much as Ted did, was uncertain. The possibility of her just not caring was also up to consideration. Max looked back at the road and noticed the small houses in a row, now having driven into a suburbia looking area. The first sign she noticed, read “Daphne St.” “See the big, white house?” Ted asked while needlessly pointing, most likely towards the house in question. “Now, see the small, faded, ugly, old, run-down, yellow house?” He continued just after Max nodded. “Guess which one is mine” He had an all too serious expression on his face, while Jo was silently grinning.

Purely out of a habit, Max read ahead and knew that by the fact that Ted added the most adjectives on the second option, that he expected Max to guess that, which would lead him to become jokingly offended and reveal that he actually lived in the big, white house. Max’s social instinct dragged her towards amusing him by picking the second option, but not in the mood to play these social games, Max sighed and decided on her answer. “The big, white house” She tilted her head to the left, her voice a clear line as she had already pulled the car to the side.

Ted’s smile slowly faded, his teeth disappearing behind his lips in a frown. “Don’t think you are something” Even through his narrowed eyes, it was clear to see he was merrily surprised by Max’s answer.

Max couldn’t help but to present a small smile just as Ted winked at her before taking off his seatbelt as the car came to a stop.

“I’ll just get my laptop and maybe a snack if someone’s hungry?” He quickly looked at Jo and Max with wide eyes, but when neither of the girls answered, he simply nodded. “No snacks for Max. Got it” And with the questionable rhyme, he closed the door and walked around the car and towards his house.

It was remarkable how Ted managed to drag Max out of her fear-driven state, if only for a second. He did mildly remind her of Chloe with his indecorous sense of humor and it was clear he was trying to calm Max down as well, not by saying everything will be all right, but instead, by showing it through his wacky approach. However, as Ted had now entered the big, white house, the lingering uncertainty about his character was still stuck in her mind.

“Hey, eh, Max” The hesitant voice of Jo instantly snapped Max out of her own thoughts, having almost forgotten that the girl was still sitting in the back. “Sorry for snapping at you or whatever. I know I must seem like a bitch to you at this point” Max looked back at her, her face looking apologetic and somber. The moonlight made her red lipstick glitter and highlighted the black eyeliner.

“No. I mean-“ Caught off guard, Max felt the uncertainty in her words with Jo waiting patiently for her to continue. “It doesn’t matter, I just need to find Chloe, so who cares” She eventually explained, suddenly remembering she hadn’t turned off the car and quickly rushed to pull the key from the ignition, but began pulling before she turned it, leading her to awkwardly struggle to do this simple task.

“If that’s the way you want it” Jo smiled resentfully while leaning back in her seat. “All that stuff you talked about on the way over here… it must really have taken a toll on you, so I guess it’s fair that you’re a little misbehaved”

Finally getting the keys out from the ignition, Max had to use a few seconds to process her words before taking a breath. “Yeah, sure Jo” Her voice was uncaring as she didn’t really feel the need to get sucked into whatever game Jo was trying to play.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” The girl in the back suddenly raised her voice while flipping her head downwards. “You’re being a complete douche to Ted and now you won’t even accept my apology that you haven’t at all deserved” She flipped her head back up in a way Max perceived as acting superior as if she was standing above everything and everyone.

“Some apology that was,” Max said quietly at first but didn’t want Jo to perceive as if she was willing to take her criticism. “Just be quiet will you?” Her face fell into an annoyed expression from the stress and even though she realized that Jo didn’t purposely try to antagonize Max, it still bothered her at how little situation awareness she showed. 

“You really have no manners” She responded while resting her head on her hand. It brought upon familiar feelings in Max that she hadn’t felt in a while, and it was the last thing she needed right now.

“Do you not understand what is going on? My friend might try to kill herself, maybe she already has and just because you have no understanding of actual problems, doesn’t mean you can just ward it off like it’s no big deal because I certainly don't have the energy to focus on whatever drama you're trying to start” Max blurted out in annoyance, making sure Jo heard her words clearly. “So yes, I accept your apology and here is mine” She turned her head towards the girl in the back. “Sorry for being a bitch or what the fuck ever the next words from your lips want to call me, but I haven’t slept for six months and the only person that doesn’t fuck me over might be dead. It’s a life we’re talking about here, with a childhood and a future, friends, and family. All that is… so valuable that I can’t even find the words, so sorry Jo, sorry for freaking out and taking it out on you” Her hands were shaking in frustration. “How’s that for an apology?” These were the last words she wanted to say to her. She didn’t want to waste another ounce of energy on a stranger that she felt had no right to even comment on the situation.

Jo just took a breath and looked the other way. The air in the car had become increasingly cold now that the heat was no longer running in the car. The wind was clearly having a laugh outside as well, blowing hard and trying to knock everything over that wasn’t attached to the ground. The wind hitting the car was the only noise, if not for that, there would have been complete silence. Max tried to use the time to think about Chloe, but her mind wouldn’t let her focus and instead wandered around in an uncontrollable fashion. There was too much going on and the only means of calming herself was to look at the surrounding houses, all different in their own personal way, whereas every lawn and every neatly trimmed bush were nearly identical. The aching in her stomach got worse when she took a breath and it would only become more painful for every second without Chloe. She missed her so much that it was almost unbearable.

“My name is actually Tiffany” The somber voice of a girl broke Max’s unbalanced chain of thoughts. “Not Jo or Josephine. Ted is the only one who calls me that” The voice demanded no attention; the words were just loosely hanging in the air. Max listened but stared at nothing. “You can ask him why that is” Waves of diffidence were present in her tone, but it was building towards something else.

Max very well acknowledged the words, but couldn’t bring herself to move an inch or even respond in the slightest way. The name Tiffany lingered in the air, almost taunting Max as a symbol of her misjudgment.

“I don’t know what it’s like to suffer from trauma or whatever is going on with Chloe, but don’t you dare say I don’t understand problems” Her voice got serious, now demanding the attention through certainty. “I met Ted in high-school. Believe it or not, he was actually one of the cool kids. People sat next him in class and in the cafeteria. It was not like he was every girl's dream, but he was just so outgoing and down to earth, never caring about meaningless things. He was what most people wanted to be. I ended up dating him for 7 months… We were always at his mother’s house. It made sense because he lived in the big, white house down the street, and because my parents were fucking uptight, I was more than happy to spend half the week at his house. Ted’s father was in the military and had been away for months, so his mother enjoyed the company as well. The only time where he actually came over to my house… he was down on his knees when I opened the door, panting and sweating with this panicked shaking all over his body. His eyes were screaming for me to help him, they were begging me, but I didn’t know what had happened. He just wept on my doorstep. It turned out a few weeks ago his father who I had never seen and he rarely talked about, was killed on the battlefield. I knew he was in the military and that he had been gone for so long, but Ted had kept it a secret for everyone that his dad had died. And despite me spending so much time with him, I really couldn’t tell either. I don’t why he didn’t tell me, but fuck… I kick myself every fucking night because I couldn’t see the pain my boyfriend was in… but he was not at my doorstep because his father had died, but because his mother could no longer handle her husband’s dead, so she went crazy. She broke a window and smashed her head into the broken glass still attached to the window. Ted found her in the bathroom, lying in a pool of her own blood and he was in so much shock by the sight that he could barely call 911. I thank the freaking gods that his mom survived, but Ted was never the same after that day. He became distant. He remembers the incident with his mother as a dream- or a nightmare, like it happened in a fantasy world, not a thing that really took place in reality. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia just a few weeks after and that only messed with him even more. He was not the same guy I had known for so long and loved for so long. I ended the relationship with him. I just didn’t love him anymore after he had changed, and that might sound unfair- it might sound fucking cruel, but when it all comes down to it; he didn’t need a girlfriend. He needed someone to look over him and that was me. I broke up with him, but I never left his side. I did not abandon him, I could never do that. I tried to take every ounce of pain he could muster outwards and store it within me, so he didn’t need to. I have done that ever since that day and I will never stop doing it because the look in his eyes when he was down on my doorstep… it haunts me” She paused for the very first time, and while Max tried to take a breath, the air was so thick that it just filled her body with a dense and uncomfortable sensation of dread. “So Max… that’s why I fucking hated when you yelled at him and talked him into helping you without showing any gratitude, and why it’s a shitshow when you tell me that I don’t know fuck about problems. I know plenty…” Her last sentence stood above all the rest, but it was not aggressive nor contemptuous.

Max wanted to say something, apologize or deride, it didn’t matter, but she knew her words were unwanted. Her story was not a topic to be discussed, but a lesson to be learned. It came about clearly how Tiffany had only acted aggressive towards Max because she was defensive about Ted. It was something she could understand and the reason why she lowered her head to show Tiffany that she had heard her and didn’t intend to argue further.

A suspensive silence was left hanging in the air, but it could not be broken by any of the two girls sitting in the car. Tiffany was already fiddling around in her purse to avoid making eye contact while Max stared blankly at the speedometer. However, when Tiffany chuckled with a muted voice, Max instinctively looked up at the rear-view mirror to see the girl with a subtle smile on her red lips, her black hair hanging over her face, covering it almost entirely. It prompted her to look elsewhere, as she took notice of the purple midriff shirt instead, complimenting her slender body while also revealing her tanned stomach with her silver belly button piercing. Max’s vision quickly changed, however, as steps could be heard approaching the car, and as both the girls looked to their left, they saw Ted walking towards them with a black laptop in his hand and two gadgets that Max wouldn’t even pretend she knew what was. He had a mellow expression carved on his face, and it could just be coming from the newly revealed information that influenced her perception, but Max felt as if she saw a glimpse of despondency in his tired eyes.

Tiffany was quick to open the door for Ted as he got close given that he had his hands full, and just as she did; a chill air entered the car making Max’s muscles retract.

“Oh, what a gentlewoman,” Ted said in delight as he ducked under the roof of the car and carelessly dumped his PC and gadgets on the space in the middle before sitting down.

“Is that even a word?” Tiffany smiled gently, looking more relaxed now that Ted had returned.

“Oh yeah. You can’t have words that are specific to one gender in this day and age” He replied tilting his head to the side with a lecturing expression on his face. “Unless you want a horde of SJW’s on your ass,” He jokingly added while taking the laptop in his hands and opening it.

Tiffany shook her head while chuckling, with Max confusedly trying once more to crack the code of the dodgy acronyms.  She clearly remembered seeing it in writing somewhere on the internet, but before she could recall the circumstances, Ted began drumming on his laptop with his thumbs, snapping Max out of her thoughts. He seemed like he was waiting for it to start up while Tiffany glanced at Max, giving her the impression that she should say something, and with the shaky scolding she had gotten it intimidated her to say anything really.

“Ted,” she eventually mustered while her eyes were falling down on the dashboard of the car as Ted was quick to look up at the back of Max’s head. “Why do you call Tiffany, Jo?” With the inconsequential question, came a surprised look that quickly turned into a melancholy leer.

In reality, Max didn’t care and she only asked because Tiffany mentioned it. Her only priority at the moment was whether or not Ted had the means of helping her to find Chloe, but the fact that he had talked so confidently about the different methods of tracking someone down, both comforted her and concerned her.  
  
_How is there not more people freaked out by living in a world where it’s apparently fairly easy to tell where everyone is at any given moment? The again, that same advancement in technology also gives me the opportunity to find Chloe. It’s the age-old topic about giving up privacy for safety I guess, in which there has always been the various pros and cons._  
  
It was an interesting thought, but she had to get ready for Ted’s answer to her question, however, as he took an idle breath and looked down. Max put the keys into the ignition and Tiffany closed her eyes, distancing herself from the upcoming explanation. In that moment, it really felt like three unlikely heroes that were about to embark on the most depressing journey.


	26. To No End of Our Own

_No more roads. No more driving._

It had all become too repetitive. It had been gnawing inside of her head, making her forget who she was as she only felt like an event, not a person. Just the center of a task, always working towards a goal but never crossing the finish line. It was once an adventure, but it had been sucked dry and turned into a never-ending nightmare that she just wanted to kill. The only light in the darkness was fading slowly and might now be gone for good. After the fact, life was not fair, but that was not even a way to look at it anymore. Max had felt fate’s non-existence for a long time now, everything being choices and chances. Too much control over a life in a world where nothing can be controlled is difficult. Having the ability to control the world as well, is downright madness. She often thought about how she had managed to not be driven completely insane by everything that has been happening to her, and the only conclusion she could ever work towards, was the fact that the thought of having experienced these traumatic things was absolutely terrifying, but living through those experiences is not a choice. This is where she stood and she had to deal with it.

“So five months after our dog ran away, we got a hamster and named it Evangeline, which has ten letters and Josephine has nine letters, but as you recall, on the periodic table, Au is gold and has the atomic number 79, so…”

Max’s ears randomly began listening to Ted explaining his story of why he calls Tiffany, Jo. Which had bizarrely turned into a full-fletched novel at this point, explaining why Ted seemed so reluctant to tell it at first, but one glance at the focused boy showed that he was in the zone with Tiffany, on the other hand, having completely zoned out. Max was no better herself, however, as she had stopped listening almost immediately when Ted started off by saying “when I was six…” which was a clear indication of how this story would be dragged out into infinity. Luckily, Ted was able to multitask as he was working on the computer while rambling. One of the two gadgets Ted had taken with him had been revealed to be a portable Wi-Fi router which he had plugged into the side of his laptop. The other gadget that looked more like a remote control was, however, still a mystery.

Max was nodding mechanically every time Ted raised his voice slightly, while simply staring at the empty roads. She had been driving around for a while now without a clear destination, just hoping to find Chloe wandering somewhere in the streets.

“I then placed those numbers against each other and ended up with an equation-“  
  
“Alright, Ted,” Max’s body urged her to stop him, as both Ted and Tiffany looked up, a dazed look on Ted, an awaiting look on Tiffany.  
“An interesting story so far, but can you please tell me where we stand on tracking down Chloe?”

Ted just stared as if he was stuck in an abyss and had to use a good amount time to snap back into the real world. Tiffany signaled with her hand to Max that she should wait and let Ted take the time he needed, which she wearyingly did.

“Right” He finally said.  
“As we have been driving around- solid driving by the by- I have been logging into the database of the various stores, cafes and restaurants we have been passing, to see who is connected to their provided Wi-Fi. The serial number of those who are connected shows up and I have been trying to cross-reference those numbers with any Bluetooth signal we have passed, to see if there're any hints that would lead me to believe that it would be Chloe’s phone” Once again, Ted’s explanation made it sound rather simple, but even though Max knew close to nothing about such things, she figured that it was more difficult than he let on.

“Do you really- I mean, how do you know how to do all that?” The question came from the subconscious desire to make conversation, but some part of her felt legitimately curious.

“Oh, I don’t. I just ask various forums and use sites for our purposes” Ted almost sang out, gladdening Max as to how he didn’t even try to get the easy praise he could have gotten from lying.  
“Everybody who claims they know how to hack, are simply asking strangers on the internet how to do it” He leaned a little closer to the screen, his eyes moving slowly to the side, indicating that he was reading something. Tiffany also presented her curiosity as she too leaned towards the screen, but looking as if she didn’t know what to look at exactly.

“So, is Chloe like a family member or something?” Ted asked without looking up from the screen.

“They’re dating,” Tiffany said surprisingly quickly before Max could even open her mouth to answer. It somehow startled Max, as if a secret had just been revealed, even though there was no reason to hide it. It still seemed like a private matter to her, however. How Tiffany knew this fact was also a prickling concern.

“Yeah, we are- eh, childhood friends, but… yeah” Max confirmed quite flustered, Ted visibly nonplussed, looking up from the screen and staring at whatever part of Max he could see from his position, his face becoming his words, clearly wanting to say “Really?”  
“H-How did you know that, Tiffany?” The question from Max was discomposed and made Tiffany go onto a state of certitude.

“Girls can sense these things” She began, quite confidently.  
“I could see it in her eyes, really. Every time she mentioned you, her pupil’s dilated and through various quirks I noticed a connection starting to form and as a keen observer, it became even more evident when she told me” In the straight line that was her voice, she revealed the true secret to her enlightenment.

Max gave a single nod and a small smile, not wanting to disparage the first non-hostile thing Tiffany said, directed at Max. Ted was a little more perceptible and chuckled deliberately just before asking a follow-up question.  
“For how long have you been doing the dating stuff? No offense- and by saying no offense, I know you’re preparing yourself to be offended, but ignore those instincts,- but it’s really hard to imagine you two being together” His declaration was oddly received, as Max felt unsure how to respond, but luckily, Tiffany was on fire and quick to add her voice into the mix.

“Then don’t imagine it” She responded while giving a little flick of her head and stretching her arms.

Ted simply tightened his face and looked up, looking as if he was now imagining it to the full extent. While Max temporarily enjoyed the good-natured conversation, the mention of Chloe just caused heartache within her when the gap between words gave her mind time to fill them.

_What if we never find her? Or what if we do, and she doesn’t even want to see me? Maybe she is mad at me… I didn’t do enough to comfort her. I didn’t say the right things at the right time. Or maybe I said too much and just pushed her away. Shit, I should call the police. Tell them to find Chloe. Who gives a shit if that could cause problems? All that matters, right now, is to find her. I’m going to call right now._

Max had previously warded off the idea of calling the police, especially after Chloe had specifically told her to leave them out of it for the time being, but her own thoughts had convinced her that this was an emergency and everything that might have been previously stated, no longer mattered. She was just about to reach for her phone when Tiffany leaned closer.

“Have you taken her to Gino’s Italian Restaurant yet?” Her voice was elevated and her expression surprisingly interested.

“I- ehh…” Max opened her mouth before she had time to even process an answer, taking back by Tiffany’s affectionate approach, giving Ted the opportunity to break in.

“Oh! You should take her to the arcade! They just got Battlezone there and it’s so badass” With his excited tone, Max was forced to pay attention to the chatter from behind, momentarily breaking her off from her discomforting thoughts.

“She’s not fucking ten, red-head” Tiffany voiced her displeasure of Ted’s suggestion.  
“If you want to go somewhere fun,” she looked at Max.  
“You should take her dancing. Guaranteed fun and romance as well”

Sensing the pattern, Max changed her vision to Ted in the rear-view mirror, awaiting his comeback as it seemed Max didn’t really have a say in the matter. However, the two of them arguing like siblings was mildly amusing.

“Eck. I’ll tell you what, bowling equals romance” Sure enough, Ted was quick to counter Tiffany’s suggestion.

“How is bowling romantic?” Tiffany questioned with a displeased expression.

“As you’re throwing the ball, you go: your love knocks me over. You know, like the pins”

“You mean, your love blows me away?”

“It’s practically the same”

“Hardly”

“Then go skydiving, I don’t know”

After amusedly listening to the two argue over the best way for Max to spend time with Chloe, she finally felt as if she had to interrupt.  
“We’ve talked about going camping,” She said a little hazily.

“Aww, that’s so sweet” Tiffany exclaimed.  
“That’s actually a great idea” Ted uttered simultaneously.

Max smiled; happy that they finally agreed on something, but also appreciating how their childlike behavior momentarily brought her into a sense of solace. The more she thought about it, the more it felt like they were doing it on purpose in an attempt to calm Max when they had seen her in distress. As of a way to commute to her that everything would be fine in the end and, of course, force her to not let her mind get the better of her by circling around in dismal thoughts. Even though the situation certainly was dire, she somehow felt she could handle it with more composure in the company of the two.

Looking down at the screen, Ted had continuous smile sticking to his lips, his messy, long hair having become even more frizzy in the sultry temperature. That smile slowly faded however when his eyes focused on one specific point on the screen. He mumbled something inaudible, catching the attention of the two girls around him. Max slowed down the car down almost to a halt, seeing the seriousness in his expression. “I- eh, I f-found something,” he said under his breath.

Max’s heart jumped, almost pushing her chest forward. “Chloe?” She asked with desperation in her voice.

Tiffany looked at the screen once more, but still unsure what to look for.

“No, I’ve picked up on a Bluetooth signal nearby, but it has a custom name…” Ted continued, sounding benumbed and reluctant as if he didn’t want to say it.

Not wanting to be held in the dark, Max stopped the car fully and turned around in her seat.  
“What is it?” A menacing atmosphere filled the car, Ted’s hesitation almost making the answer seem obvious.

“Ethan Kestal” he dragged out the name as Tiffany visibly tensed her body while Max felt all the energy leaving her body.

“Where is it?” Tiffany asked the question that was on the tip of Max’s tongue.

“Not sure. I’ll run it through a GPS-tracker, but it could just be we’re near his house?” His voice was clearly held back, trying to sound calm as to not cause affliction as he began tapping on the keyboard, the clacking being the only sound amid the apprehensive silence. Max let go of the steering wheel and grabbed the cleavage of her white shirt and pulled it up to her chin.

“Ehh, it’s- yeah, it’s coming from a building to our right. Around 150 feet away. Hang on…” he paused, sending a prickling annoyance down Max’s spine.  
“It’s probably not his house… his social information says he lives several miles from here, but there’s another thing” when he paused again, Max shifted in her seat and exhaled heavily, prompting Ted to just say it.  
“There’s another signal just next to it. I can’t tell who it is, though…”

“Could it be Chloe?” Her voice was almost a whimper as her vision began blurring.

Ted took a quick glance at Tiffany and seemed uncertain whether or not to speak.  
“Alright, ehm… each phone leaves a magnetic field to the environment or region where it is when GPS-enabled. These fields are continuously recorded for a time, of course we’d have to be close-by to catch up on it, but if someone calls a phone it becomes a receiver so-to-speak of radio waves and if the phone is within the range of a tracker, it should be possible to pick up on the feedback” His voice was timid, but sending the seriousness of the situation, he acted confidently.

“So if I call Chloe, you’d be able to see if the phone next to Ethan’s signal is actually her?” Max was already hovering her hand over her front pocket with her phone in it.

“I should be, yeah” A drop of sweat escaped from Ted’s forehead as Tiffany was focused on her breathing while wisely staying quiet.

With the confirmation, Max pulled out the phone from her pocket with quick movements, nearly dropping it with her shaking hands. “I- I don’t know if she’ll pick up, though” she stuttered and then brought up her contacts, with Chloe’s number, fortunately, being the first on the list.

“It should work either way, just- eh, just stay calm” His words were directed at Max, but his flimsy expression showed his own nervousness.

All the anxiety and stress finally caught up to Max, forcing her to blink several times as to not lose focus. She held her shoulders close to her head as she began calling Chloe’s number. The anticipation was nerve-wracking as her breathing got louder, her toes curling inside of her shoes. She couldn’t commute for her body to lift the phone up to her ear and instead just stared at the screen, sensing Ted in the back looking intensely at the screen of his laptop. Tiffany lifted her hand and hovered it close to Max’s arm, but held it in position. The passing time felt like a flame, burning her organs from the inside with a lasting pain until Ted eventually looked up with still eyes. “It’s her” he let out quickly.

Max slowly lifted her hand up to her mouth, the nauseating sensation reaching its peak, her body burning more vigorously.

_Ethan has Chloe… my… what if he has killed her? Maybe it’s a part of his test, but… he can’t harm Chloe. He just can’t. It’s not possible, because… I will go insane if I’d lost her. If I lost Chloe… my whole world would just… she is my world._

Rapid and fixed shaking spread to all of her limbs, as she just stared at nothing, not having taken a breath for several seconds. It all blended together, her thoughts, her fears, and anger, into a sense of overwhelming hatred.  
“FUCK!” Max suddenly screamed as she threw her phone away and banged her right hand into the steering wheel, startling both Ted and Tiffany.  
“FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!” Her yells were the fire inside of her body, tearing up her throat and piercing her own ears as she smashed her hand against the steering wheel again. With a frightened face, Tiffany took off her seat belt, getting ready to grab Max while Ted curled back into his seat and turned his head away, clearly being scared and confused at the ongoing screams.

“I’m gonna fucking go get her right now!” The determination in her voice was interchangeable with the anger emanating from her. She curled her fists and tensed her entire body, nearly cramping up her limbs.

Ted swallowed and then cleared his throat quietly. “I’m sorry, I don’t… It could be a trap, Max. I mean, it was easy to find Ethan, maybe he knows you’d find him and…” He clearly tried to make his voice as soft as possible, but Max pulled no punches and angrily interrupted him.  
  
“I DON’T CARE!” In response to Max’s raised voice, Tiffany pulled a little forward, almost shielding Ted from potential danger and while Max was well-aware of her irrational reaction, she was so frightened of Chloe having been killed by Ethan’s hand. It had happened once before, but this time, she hadn’t been there to help her.  
“What building is it?!” Even though she lowered her voice slightly, her tone still suggested that she wanted a straight answer with no opinions or suggestions being brought forward.

“S-s… it’s an apartment building. Number 76. It’s around the corner” Ted nearly stumbled over his words.  
“Max, please don’t get mad, b-but Ethan’s signal has begun moving away from Chloe. It’s moving away from us as well, towards the convenience stor-“ he scarcely finished his sentence before Max interrupted once more.

“We’re going after Chloe. Fuck Ethan!” Max felt the toll everything had taken on her psyche when she looked at the displeased face on Tiffany. She judged her, but her judgment was misplaced and to no effect. Max was tired of being strong and keeping herself together and even though she couldn’t process it, she came to terms with the fact that she had earned her freak-out.  
“All that matters is Chloe” her voice cut through the air and even Tiffany was forced to comply and lower her head.

Max took a short breath and took off her seat belt. If Ted was correct and the building was just around the corner, it would be quicker to just run. She could feel the energy flowing to her legs as she forcefully opened the door, the cold night air brushing against her skin as she swiftly got out of the car, leaving both Tiffany and Ted confused as whether or not they should follow.

_You’re okay Chloe. I will never let anything bad happen to you… and I will prove it. I love you, Chloe, so, please… be alive for me to tell you._


	27. Roots Behind Locked Doors

She pushed the door open and burst into the apartment building, taking the three first steps on the stairs to the ground floor and banged on the first door to her left. “CHLOE?!” Without waiting for a response, she curled her hand and flung it towards the door to her right. “WHERE ARE YOU?!” Heavy steps could be heard coming from the door to her left, but Max was already on her way to the second floor. “I’M HERE!” She yelled at the top of her lungs while taking a single swing on every door she passed by on her way upwards in the apartment. Someone yelled from the first floor, cursing and demanding her to be quiet. As she jumped up to the next staircase, she felt the sweat on her neck and saw flashing dots in her vision. Her breath became short with her heart pumping blood through her limbs with excruciating speed. “CHLOE?!” She screamed in desperation. She was almost at the top now and all she waited for, was for the girl to call out her name to let her know she was well. To let her know that she could see her, embrace her and share the fear with her. Such a call never happened and with every second that comfort was absent, her mind got more wretched and her stability disintegrating. “I’M SORRY!” Her words were pure instinct, but she trusted her body more than her sanity to guide her. A larger number of indistinct murmurs and yells were heard from under the panicked girl, but none of them sounded like Chloe, so none of them mattered.  
Taking one more step up the meandering stairs, she reached the final door. A steel door, guarding the last place Max hoped Chloe would be, or more accurately, the last place she hoped she had been. When she reached for the handle with her sweaty palm, she could already see herself, standing on the edge, looking down at the ground and seeing her worst nightmare.

The cold handle clicked when it went down, the door feeling light as air when she pushed it open, overwhelmed by a strong wind blowing against her, catching air under her brown hoodie and making it flutter in the wind. Her feet felt like bricks, her legs were logs of fire and her chest felt compressed by vines. Everything went silent, every feeling fled and left her a shell when she saw Chloe sitting in the middle of the rooftop. She was resting one arm on her knee that she was supporting her head on. “Ch-“ an undefinable ache choked her words. “CHLOE!” Yet, she forced it out with anguish as she shattered the lock on her legs and made herself burn every last energy inside of her to reach the girl who looked up when she had heard her name being called.  
The lines of her face displayed the surprise of seeing Max as she quickly adjusted her position as to get up with a single movement. It was an explosion of emotions that burst inside of Max, seeing the dear face of her blue-haired girl. Everything loosened up as she forcefully ran towards her, feeling the weight in her chest and the acid in her stomach fading away.

“Max,” Chloe said nervously just before the running girl leaped towards her and placed her shaking hands on her face, the first tear escaping from her under her eye.

“A-are you o-okay?” Max stuttered anxiously as she stared at every inch of her bewildered face, trying to find a single wound, a single sign of damage still with her hands caressing both sides of Chloe’s face.

“I’m fine. Are you, uh, good?” The response from Chloe was delivered with a flummoxed tone along with a confused expression, seemingly weirded out by Max’s investigating approach, however, she made no attempt to pull back or remove her hands from her face.

When the first tear trailed down Max’s cheek and escaped from her chin, another quickly followed. All that stored energy had broken loose into an overwhelming sensation of various emotions that she finally felt safe enough to release. Her hands hovered down to Chloe’s shoulders, giving them a slight squeeze before she took a step back and fell down on her knees, sobbing.

“I’m sorry for leaving you. Sorry for yelling at you” Her cries sounded like tormented laughter as she watched her tears falling onto the pavement.  
“All this shit I have dragged you into has been too much and nobody should expect you to defend me from it. I never meant… you don’t deserve all this fear and danger that is drawn towards me” The enhanced feeling of guilt broke her down, wanting to glue back together every piece she had broken in the layout of her weakness.

“But Max, I-“ Chloe tried to break in, but Max foresaw her words and wouldn’t let herself be stopped until she had used every breath in her lungs to attempt making her friend see the impact of the amity.

“I know you’re gonna say that it’s not my fault and that you will always help me, but Chloe… I felt it. I felt the fear that you walk around with every day. I know that when you first became aware of it, this paranoia and anxiety, then it will slap you in the face everywhere you go. Even when you’re in the safest space possible, it never leaves and it frightens you. Lack of sleep enhances the panic, but because the body panics, it shoots energy through you, making it impossible to calm down and it becomes a circle that will ruin your life. I’ve felt it Chloe and it’s stuck in the back of my head, and the thought of it never leaving is driving me insane. You’ve dealt with this for so long- too long, and I tried to get into your mind and understand what it was, but I couldn’t phantom the extent of misery as a result of the feeling of constant danger. What do you do, when the fight or flight response hits you like a ton of bricks, but you can’t fight it and you can’t escape it? The body goes numb and you can only watch as your mind wanders to the darkest places of memories and imaginations. Every light of happiness will be overshadowed by fear and it ceases you from ever making progress. It’s hell and I treated it like something negligible but please, know… I was trying Chloe. I was trying my best to understand it… I was trying. I- I was…” It was only the lack of words that stopped her from talking, and while she was aware that she was whimpering, all the stuff that had been on her mind for these painfully long hours just washed out when she was down on her knees before her childhood friend.

“Dude, fucking…” Getting down on her knees as well, Chloe placed a hand on Max’s shoulder and the other to her forehead.  
“You shouldn’t be the one to…” Chloe bit down on her lip and stopped herself from negating Max’s words with a cliché speech about self-proclaimed blame. She could tell Max didn’t want her to say how it wasn’t her fault and that they’re in this together. This would not be the comfort to wash away the sorrow.  
“I never had any doubt that you would walk through fire for me, that you would take every ounce of the heartache that I’m always blabbering about and yes… the constant lingering of fear and the thoughts of losing sanity is just… nobody deserves something like that, but…” Chloe paused to take a chilling breath and collect herself, prompting Max to look up at her friend who was holding back tears.  
“The world is not…” she stopped again, choking on her words and unable to keep her tears inside.  
“I’m sorry” she blurted out.

“No, you’re… it’s okay. It is a very grim topic” Between the tears, Max reluctantly presented a small smile before using her sleeves to wipe away the wetness on her face.

“Yeah…” Chloe chuckled dolefully as she looked down.  
“Look, Max, I- I never go a day without thinking about the shittiest of things, like mortality, insanity, panic and never getting a good night’s sleep ever again, but… despite all of that, I still…” She purposely paused to look at Max, making sure she read her lips when she said her next sentence.  
“I love my life” It was harder to say that she anticipated, not because it was a lie, but because it was a truth that had been hidden below so much melancholy shit.  
“I know I said some stupid shit to you, but for real Max, I will never… kill myself. If you’re breathing, I will be right next to you, breathing even louder” She slowly slid her hand down Max’s arm.  
“Not just to annoy you, but to let you know that I’m there”

Two tears synchronized their impact on the ground from the two girls.

“I love my life because the world still gives me reasons to smile… and I hate saying this, because it’ll feel like we’re in a bad romance movie, but… you give me reasons to smile. You make me strong enough to keep going and that is why we’re in this together. Not because I’m a good person with morals that helps friends no matter what, but because… I need you. It would just destroy me if I didn’t have you and that is the only thing that can” Moving her head closer to Max, she took a quiet breath and rubbed her thumb on the arm she was holding onto.  
“The only thing I want from you… is to know that I make you strong as well. That I’m important enough to you, that you’ll never give up on me. That I’m the reason you’ll keep fighting” Chloe’s voice went a little quieter as she used her left hand to wipe her tears away.

“You’re really fishing for a boost of self-esteem here” Max made a sideways smile as she blinked to get out the remaining moisture from her eyes.

“It would make me feel good, honestly” Being visibly amused by Max’s response, Chloe removed her hand and raised her eyebrows. Her blue eyes were glittering from the moonlight reflecting onto the tears under her eyes.

Max spent a few seconds, simply observing the girl before her, the collar of her thin black shirt had gone over her shoulder, but despite the cold, she seemed content. “Chloe, I hear you. And I know how hard it is for you to say mushy shit like that, so I know you mean it… and…” She took a breath, her heart stopping, knowing the breath that was about to be used was to say something that she had only previously been courageous enough to envisage.  
“You’re the love of my life”

The moment she said it, she saw Chloe moving her head a little back with wide eyes as if the words had stopped her heart as well. Her eyes wandered from the side to side with her mind digging up responses from anywhere possible. Her expression eventually settled in a confident look with still eyes and curved lips.  
  
“Having you by my side is what completes me. Before I met you, I never realized how empty my life was and now I can’t imagine a life without you” While her words were beautiful, there was no mistaken the goofy way she presented them.

“Now you’re just stealing proposal lines” Max wanted to give Chloe a push, but her arms were too tired and she decided to shuffle a little closer to her friend instead.

“I totally am” Chloe immediately admitted with a single nod.  
“I’m already down on my knees, so…” She shrugged as she closed her eyes.

“Seriously, Chloe. Are you okay?” Looking down, she finally felt a little control of her wandering thoughts and felt the curiosity of more practical matters.

Lifting her shoulders close to her head, Chloe sighed while starting to get up from the ground. “I’m not at my best, but it’ll get better”

Seeing Chloe’s movements, Max began preparing her body to get up as well. “But… what happened to you?” She dreaded the answer, even the question felt uncomfortable to let out, but even though the last thing she wanted to talk about was Ethan, she knew it was a necessity.

“I just got drunk and… I let the shit-show get the better of me” Getting up on her feet, Chloe took notice of Max’s apparent struggle and reached out a questioning hand to offer help.

“No, I mean- we saw Ethan was with you” Mostly out of courtesy, Max grabbed her friend's hand and let her help her up to her feet.  
“Did he… kidnap you or something?” She immediately felt her buttery legs having difficulty keeping up her body-weight.  
  
Chloe waited a few seconds to answer while dusting off her knee area, making Max notice how Chloe’s black fingernails had seemingly been scratched off, specifically on her index and middle finger. “What are you talking about? I’ve been alone up here…”

Barely thinking about it, Max grabbed Chloe by her wrist. “We saw a Bluetooth signal with his name” She held a little tighter as she became aware of her actions, but even though Chloe looked at her oddly, something told her to not let go.

Chloe just swayed her head to the side and loosened her arm, prompting Max to lead her wherever she wanted. “Really? Maybe he followed me, but, I don’t know… could he have observed me? Like, stalked me to gather information or something?”

As Max took the first step towards the door she came in, Chloe was quick to follow with slightly jumpy movements. “That’s probably it then… shit. I thought he might had caught you…” The information was, of course, a relief to Max, but it still begged the question as to Ethan’s motives. Furthermore, it made her realize that Chloe was on the roof of this apartment building by her own will. Most likely for reasons she forced out of her mind.

“Wait. We?”  
She purposely kept the fidgety in her voice down but she did look in a full circle around her, however. Not that it would have been of much use unless choppers were involved.  
“Please tell me you’ve developed like, split-personality disorder in the last few hours and you referrer to yourself with plural pronouns now- which is something I will completely respect- and that you didn’t call the police” She halted a little, making Max slow down her movements and look back at Chloe with rolling eyes.

“No, it’s- I mean, Ted and Tiffany helped me look for you”

Chloe responded with a slow nod, but still had a big question mark painted on her forehead. “Oh… who’s Tiffany?”

“Right, ehm… you probably know her as Jo” As they had now stopped just a few feet before the steel door, Max cordially took a hold of the collar of Chloe’s shirt and pulled it up her shoulders. Even though it made her look sexy in a sort of carefree and messy way, she didn’t want her friend to be cold.

Chloe barely acknowledged her as she was staring out the corner of her eye going over some stuff. “…I didn’t know split-personality disorder was contagious” She said mostly to herself with a quiet voice.

“I don’t have that disorder!” Max laughed out while finally giving Chloe the friendly push she had missed so much.  
“She’s just… I thought her name was Jo too, but then… you know what? I’ll let Ted explain it” Max waved her hand around as if she was trying to swat a fly, which led Chloe to curiously follow the hand with her eyes like a cat hunting down a laser pointer.

“All right, but man… that guy talks a lot” Chloe said without changing her focused expression as she eventually reached out her hand and swiftly poked the hand Max was waving around in the air.  
“Gotcha” she whispered under her breath.

“I know! What’s up with that?” She exclaimed while playing along with their little hand game, catching Chloe’s finger with the palm of her hand and dragging it down along her side, making Chloe move a few inches closer and chuckle lightly in response. They both felt the calming and playful atmosphere surrounding them, both so comfortable in each other’s presence that Chloe felt the need to make a lasting statement.

“I’ve missed you…” Her voice was quiet but poised as she intertwined her fingers around Max’s hand and used her other arm to reach around her and gently pull her closer. The breeze blew their hair to the side, exposing their linked eyes clearly. Chloe, looking into the denim eyes of the girl that just proved her willingness to protect and comfort what she held dear. Max, looking into the sky blue eyes of the girl that would share every fragile piece of what she was because it was her being, her heart, and mind that would yearn for every second in the embrace of this brave, enduring girl.

Only when they connected their lips, did their gaze part for a second, but the beauty of the moment, the allure of the kiss, was the very fact that they both knew that when they opened their eyes again, their loved ones would still be right in front of them. For now, for always, and through everything. 


	28. The Same Murmuring Wish

It only seemed natural when Chloe fist-bumped him and did the hand-explosion motion just after the impact. Ted tried to mimic her movements but clearly lagging behind with an awkward look on his face. As it was so typical with Chloe, every person around her would be taught how to be cool, whether they wanted it or not, but they would also be taught the most important lesson: that no one could be cooler than Chloe herself. Max gratifyingly watched the two persons saying their goodbyes from inside the car. It had been no problem driving Ted home since he lived in a big, white house close-by, but it was a little more challenging with Tiffany. She lived two places, one place that was a shit-hole and another that was just inconveniently far away as she had described it. Max had pondered about just driving Tiffany to whatever place she wanted, but it was in the middle of the night, so they were both aware that it would just be a hassle. They ended up simply driving her to the bus station after she had insisted that there were plenty of busses for her purpose. She never did say whether or not she took a bus to the shit-hole or her other place, but just minutes before they dropped her off, it had seemed like Chloe and her exchanged numbers, so they’d be sure to keep in touch. It was, however, odd to see Chloe and Tiffany communicating. They were different from each other, but they both had that same bad-girl crust to their personality, which was apparently enough ground for them to connect on some level. Chloe and Ted, however… it was more like a baby pigeon being mentored by an eagle. Ted being the pigeon.  
Despite these factors, Max had taken notice of that neither of them connected to Chloe on a deeper level than just her exterior, not that it was necessary or even expected, but Tiffany only asked a few questions to Chloe about where she had been and then it was dropped. The conclusion as to why that was the case came to be that both Ted and Tiffany simply knew when to back off and not pry. Something they did very well with Max as well. They just wanted everyone around them to be comfortable- to some variation on Tiffany’s side.  
When Chloe and her trainee eventually parted, Ted winked back at Max with a satisfying smile which Max shyly returned. Chloe on her way back to the car made another gesture with her hand, making a circle with her finger and tilting her head, silently asking Max if she wanted to take the passenger seat instead; a request she happily accepted.

It wasn’t long before the two girls were on the road once more, with Chloe driving slowly through the buildings shrouded in darkness. It was clear to tell both of them were exhausted and dreaded the fact that it was still a fairly long way home.  
  
“aaaAAAHHH” Chloe randomly broke out an increasingly loud yawn that sounded more like a lion cub with a serious throat problem than anything else.  
“Whaaat’s your favorite Pokémon?” She asked with the exhale that followed the yawn as she nuzzled back in her seat, looking off in the distance.

“God dude, there’s so many now… I barely know half of them” Using a mixture of tiredness and whininess in her voice, Max slid to the side in her seat and rested her arm against the window.

“True dat. Their next Pokémon should just be a dead horse that you constantly beat up until it stops spitting out money, AMIRIGHT?” Chloe hollered out in a crazy state of drowsiness.

“Oh- oh shit” Max whispered in response with such an intensity as if the whole staff at Nintendo had just been mad burned. She felt like a high-five would be appropriate, but the effects of having stayed awake for so long began messing with her body as well. A shockingly similar feeling to being drunk.

“No, but for serious. Your favorite Pokémon. Go!” Snapping her fingers, Chloe made it clear that this was the time for the reveal of the century and there was no room for shenanigans.

“Yanma” She answered confidently, feeling proud for answering so quickly and with such certainty. She also avoided the poser response of saying Pikachu.

Chloe narrowed her eyes, her whole face dropping down an inch. She was in deep thought as if she was trying to solve the mystery of the Zodiac Killer.  
“What the fuck…” she enunciated each word slowly.  
“Is a Yanma?”

Stretching her neck, Max let out a yawn and flipped her right hand in the air.  
“It’s like, a bug. A dragonfly I think” As Max described her Pokémon, she felt unsure as to why she even remembered that. Maybe it was just her hipster mind, wanting her favorite Pokémon to be the one no one really knew.

Chloe nodded her head with minimal movements as she gazed at Max with a disdained expression.  
“I think we should see other people”

There was no way for Max to avoid chuckling at that remark as she finally gathered up the energy from the very core of her body to hit her friend cordially on the arm with a tired smile.  
Chloe leaned a little from side to side, grinning as well while constantly having to remind herself to keep her eyes open. An intense process apparently as Chloe had begun taking quick and deep breaths, prompting Max to look at her confused, wondering if she needed help or a paper bag. “Does oxygen weigh anything?” Chloe eventually asked, and as a result, elucidated her weird behavior.

“Yeah. So if you keep exhaling air, you will be able to ride the elevator one day” Max answered dazedly, not even having the capacity to be amused by what she felt was a witty response from an outside perspective.  
The lack of protest from her friend, indicating that she was once more sending a demonic look her way, urging Max to quickly provide her with a sincere answer.  
“No, yeah, it does. Oxygen is matter and all matter has mass… and mass weighs” She explained her own knowledge of the concept and she felt fairly certain that it was correct. Chloe simply nodded, but already looked like she had a follow-up question. Thinking it was just a way for her to keep awake, Max was all game.

“So if a strap a balloon to a butterfly filled with oxygen, will it be able to fly around with it?”

“It will probably cause some difficulties. Cute image, though”

“But would that be because of the oxygen or because of the weight of the balloon itself?”

“The balloon would weigh more than the oxygen for sure”

“What if it was filled with helium?”

“Then the butterfly would have to get used to orbiting in space”

“But what is helium? I mean…. Why does it rise?”

“Helium displaces air. So if the helium and the balloon are lighter than the air it displaces, it will rise. It’s just… lighter than air dude”

“So what you’re saying is… if I paid attention in school, I wouldn’t have to ask these questions?

“That’s the gist of it”

“I’m just gonna believe that you’re the smartest human being on earth”

“Quite possibly”

The exchange of sleepy words eventually came to a short pause as to welcome the solace that was so vivid that knowing it was only temporary was insignificant. All the talk, the emotions, and strain of future troubles bounced off the spectral bond of the girls. It was present but secured as to not propel away in an uncontrollable loop, giving them both the chance of awareness but safety as well. It was a transient tool rather than a weight. Chloe saw the chance of safety within the danger and used it warily.

“Do you think everything happens for a reason?” Chloe asked with a clear sense of the atmosphere, taking the leading the step into a chance for Max to piece together the cracked jar in which they kept they insecurities.

Max felt prepared, but nervous about applying too much pressure.  
“I think everything is a reaction. That there is an unpredictable order to things which you can prepare for but not always predict accurately. I don’t think there is a reason for it, but I think there are opportunities to make your own reasons” She was aware of the place she stood in the conversation, but she surprisingly felt like she had wiggle room. Space to say what she meant, rather what she thought would be the right thing to say.

“Always going for the guru answers” Chloe smiled while taking one hand of the steering wheel and using it to run her fingers through her hair.

“I get philosophical when I’m tired” Max replied as she scratched her chin.

“Yeah, I… guess. And I actually kinda get your answer…” Her voice went soft as she was preparing herself to sway the topic into something more personal.  
“You know why I hate fall?” The question was clearly rhetorical, making Max turn her head and listen to her friend.  
“It’s the time when it rains the most and… for some lame reason, the rain always reminds me of that storm, ya’ know? The thing I remember the clearest about standing on that hill and watching everyone and everything I’ve ever known just-“ Quickly stopping herself, Chloe twitched and shot up her eyebrows.  
“The thing… I remember the clearest about that moment” she rephrased for reasons Max was quick to pick up on. Chloe didn’t want to make Max feel bad by talking about the incident in such a way that it would be portrayed as if Max made the wrong choice back then. A subject they silently agreed to not talk about.  
“Is, ehm- I remember the rain. Just… pouring down on us. I remember just feeling… wet and scared. So those two things have just become connected, right?” She quickly glanced at Max to see her immediate response, but she was still, paying close attention to Chloe’s words without preparing a reply but just listening closely.  
“And it’s gotten worse…” she continued.  
“I mean, it hasn’t rained in a while, but that just fills up the bag of apprehension and when that shit… I guess what I’m saying is… I’m increasingly afraid that it’s gonna rain” She ended with a shaking head, trying to present her words as silly, but Max took her words to heart and didn’t change her focused expression, giving Chloe all the honest attention she could ever hope for.

“I’ll always be there for you when it rains” So sincerely she formed her words and so tenderly her voice were when she spoke them, breaking Chloe into a smile of appreciation and certainty.

“I know,” she said with a hint of suggestiveness in her tone as she took an impulsive turn to the right, making Max lose her hand-to-head balance and forcing her to break free from her tired restraints.

“W-w-what?” It was to some extent an intentional stutter to display her confusion and when she looked at Chloe’s unwavering eyes, there was definitely reason for concern.

The blue-haired girl barely responded, only giving a sideways smile while looking in a wide area at the surrounding buildings until she confidently pulled into a parking lot that was placed in front of a rather large building. Max was curious enough as to where she was being abducted to scan the area, first noticing the big block letters bolted into the wall just over the entrance of the building. ‘Mr. Sandman Inn & Suites’ it spelled out. The building was connected to a long stretch of several structures with narrow, rectangular windows.    
  
“So…” Max stretched the word as she lifted her hand, almost resentful by the lack of an explanation.

Chloe very determinedly parked the car in a wide open spot, pulled the parking brake and stiffly turned her head to her puzzled friend.  
“It’s a hotel” she generously elucidated before opening the car door.

The quite obvious explanation only enhanced Max’s confusions as she spontaneously opened the door on her side as well as to not get abandoned in the car. “Yeah, I- I see that. Are you suggesting we’re spending the night here?” Max flinched as the cold from outside once again greeted her by surprise, making her cross her arms to use the sleeves of her hoodie to preserve her warmth.

“Don’t you want to?” Chloe had to speak up as the wind drowned out their voices when she began walking towards the entrance with the two glass doors. “There’s still a long way home and I can’t be arsed to drive anymore and I suspect you feel the same” As she began jumping a little ahead, with her blue-haired blowing in the wind, she looked back at Max with such a playful smile it almost made Max blush.

“Yeah, but… I guess it would be nice to get some sleep, but still” Max admitted while struggling to keep up with her friend until she, fortunately, slowed down when nearing the entrance.

“Sure. Besides…” Chloe paused with her voice torn between nervousness and titillation.  
“I want to show you how much I appreciate you” She looked away as she said this, grabbing the metal bar attached to one of the glass doors to step inside with Max cautiously following along.

“I- thanks? But can you even get a room at this time? I mean, it is in the middle of the night and all the rooms might be in use or reserved” As Max stepped inside by the door Chloe had so generously held open for her, she instantly felt her muscles loosening by the effect of the heat inside.

“This place is called ‘Mr. Sandman Inn & Suites’, I’ll bet my dead-but-not-forgotten goldfish that there are available rooms”

Max could barely pay attention to Chloe’s words as she instantly got caught up in the activity of looking around the open space with the carpet floor they were standing on. Two giant lamps on the high ceiling were lighting up the entire space, clearly showcasing the scattered shelves with various treats and miscellaneous items on them with prices that would make you consider to offer your pinky finger in exchange. Just in the middle of the far wall, there was a huge glass door-window combo leading outside to a covered pool. As she turned her head a quarter way to her right she nearly jumped when seeing the sharply-dressed man behind a counter which had two computers placed on it, a cup of non-steaming coffee and a photo placed in such a rough wooden frame, it seemed like advertising for the nearby forest. The photo itself seemed to show an example of one of the rooms you could rent if you were looking from the perfect angle in the middle of the summer of course. Max felt completely dumbfounded when she noticed her friend were already talking to the man with an unforeseen laid-back stance.

_This is nuts. Are we really doing this? Are hotels even open this late? I mean, they’re… of course, they are, but… I didn’t know you could just waltz in here and expect there to be someone to converse with in the middle of the night. Man, it must suck working as a hotel receptionist._

Granted, Max hadn’t been to many hotels, but she always had this idea that one were supposed to book a room in advance, but she had to agree that it made sense to be open for business at all times if at least a portion of people were as impetuous as Chloe. However, from the outside there only seemed to be around 40 rooms as it was a rather small hotel with only two floors, so it was doubtful if Chloe’s prediction of available rooms would be correct, further evidenced by the fact that the receptionist and the lounging girl had been chattering for a while now, leaving Max to tap her feet against the carpet and embrace the nostalgic hotel atmosphere.

_Wouldn’t Alfred wonder where the hell we are as well? I guess it’s good that Ethan doesn’t know where we are, given his stalking behavior, though. I’ve actually gotten quite paranoid of being at Chloe’s house, but… no. Screw those thoughts._

It eventually seemed like the two conversationalists had come to an agreement as Chloe took out her wallet from her back pocket and singled out her credit card, seemingly about to pay for a single night’s stay. Max’s confused mind had briefly overcome her tiredness, still not sure about Chloe’s motives. She had some idea of what she had planned, but again, she never liked getting too ahead of herself and limited her expectations. Maybe Chloe just really needed to sleep.

“One room, one shower, two beds, and no TV. All this is ours for the night!” Chloe spoke out, way too close  
to Max’s ear as she had sneaked up on her with this happy and goofy look on her face while now poking her friend’s cheek with the white keycard.  
  
Ignoring the plastic card continuous poking on the side of her face, Max turned her head slightly, hoping Chloe wouldn’t accidently poke her in the eye. “Two beds?” She questioned a little disheartened but cleared her throat to neutralize her voice.

In the current position, Chloe saw her opportunity to move the card to her friend’s lips in an attempt to stick it in her mouth for some godforsaken reason, finally making Max react and pull a little away, amusing the playful little girl.  
“Yeah. Didn’t think you’d wanna sleep in the same bed” Chloe smiled while placing a hand on Max’s back and giving her a gentle push to guide her to their room.

“Well, we do it all the time and I never had a problem with it… I kinda- I like it” Her words were drowning out in the end, feeling surprisingly dispirited, not only by the reveal of separate beds but the fact that Chloe just meant for them to sleep. It was like not getting curly fries with your order of regular fries. You got what you expected, but yet still feel a little disappointed.

Chloe had failed to respond, only having let out an exaggerated exhaling sound which was pretty difficult to construe as they were now walking down the narrow corridor with doors leading to identical rooms on both sides. Everything was disturbingly silent, not even the sound of a TV running from any of the presumably occupied rooms. However, it was a nice touch how the dark-red carpet floor had continued into the corridor and the finely decorated lamps hanging on the low ceiling were quite a treat for the eyes. In fact, everything had seemed rather fancy so far.

“How much did the room cost?” Max felt she had to ask, not wanting Chloe to spend a bunch of money on her when she was more than willing to split the cost. Even pay the entire thing, considering that Max had been living with Chloe, rent-free.

Chloe seemed a little reluctant to let out an honest answer, though, as she kept her hand on Max’s back. “Between… 0 and… 68.87” The whispered words slipped by quickly, well-aware that Max was about to offer to pay for the room and wouldn’t have any of it, which is why she quickly spoke up before there was any chance to intervene.  
“Room 40, here we are!” She exclaimed a little too loud, instantly making Max hush her friend while giving a slight bump with her hip.  
“Oh, right, sorry- sorry fellow hotel stayers!” she blurted out just a tad too loud once more just before sliding in the card in the keycard lock.

“Goddammit, Chloe” Max chuckled out but kept it quiet, not wanting to show her amusement towards her friend’s discourteous behavior. However, her mind quickly got occupied when Chloe opened the door to their room. She first noticed the beige wallpaper walls, then saw the door immediately to the left, presumably leading to the bathroom and from the corner of her eye, she saw a small smirk on Chloe before she stepped inside, Max hurriedly following along, now being able to see the entirety off the room. An open space with a slightly big, slightly bright lamp hanging on the ceiling, less fancy than those in the corridors. The modern closet on the far right next to the window with closed curtains with a silky red color. There was not much else to pay mind to, besides a few cliché paintings on the walls, a wooden table inconveniently placed almost in the middle. The only thing that caught Max by surprise to such an extent she could feel butterflies in her stomach was the single bed placed up against the left wall. Neatly prepared, with white blankets, two white pillows and a mattress that looked softer than marshmallows.  
Rather than scolding Chloe for lying about the bed situation, she simply turned her head slowly with narrowed eyes, ready to throw metaphorical daggers at her.

Chloe seemed all too prepared for Max’s reaction as she was already looking at her with a dumb smile carved into her lips, her eyes just exploding with a vast expression of blankness.  
“What?” She asked so annoyingly clueless with clear intention.

“There is only one bed” Max played along and informed her friend of the situation.

Chloe immediately shot her eyes open and looked frantically around the room from her still position.  
“Oh no! The hotel must have made a mistake!” She exclaimed with an obviously sarcastic tone.

Max only means of a response was to shake her head slowly, a smile forming on her pink lips. She was still unsure of what to expect, but it was nice knowing that Chloe, too, enjoyed sleeping close together and it warmed Max’s heart when she imagined them both lying in the soft bed, nuzzling up against each other and fall asleep while cuddling.

“Anywhooo… I don’t know about you, but I’m not all too tired anymore” The blue-haired girl stated while walking towards the center of the room with seductive movements, clearly waving her hips around as wide as possible.

“Oh, reeeally?” Max just managed to stretch the word before she felt the tingling on her neck and the shiver down her arms, prompting her to take a step forward towards her friend who was now standing forcefully nonchalant in front of the single bed.

“Yeah, I don’t know. Just… I think might read a book or something” She obviously tried to hide her crooked smile as she saw Max approaching and decided to meet her halfway, now both standing in front of each other in the center of the room, next to the wooden table.

“You haven’t read a single book your entire life” It became increasingly difficult for Max to keep the joke-vibe going, sensing Chloe carefully moving inches closer with an unexplainable amorous magnetism. The feeling only enhanced when the scheming girl snuck her hand onto Max’s hip and began sliding her index finger up the length of her body, tickling the side of her stomach. Both of them kept quiet as the intimate atmosphere did all the talking for them, their bodies intuitively moved closer to each other. They could both feel their stomachs getting lighter, forcing them to take a deep breath. Chloe had stopped the motion of her finger and kept it in place while nervously looking at her flustered friend.

“Max, I- tell me if I am coming on too strong” she whispered lugubriously with a flickering gaze.  
“Because, I want… I want you to enjoy it. I think last time, I was too forceful and it’s… I just have this attraction to you and I acted faultily on it” she paused for a second, a gap in her lips and a trembling finger on her friend’s stomach, who once more, listened patiently to her dear.  
“So if you think we should wait, or just… not do anything, then it’s all good. I want you to be comfortable and… I really… holy fuck how I really want you to feel safe” Her words were naked in the benign air she used to form her worries and desires. A caressing whisper at the periphery of the connection in their souls whose very impact pervaded the understanding and trust that the girls’ uncertain presence guided.

“I do feel safe” Max could barely initiate her thoughts to articulate her own words.  
“And there’s no one I would rather do this with” However much she meant it, she still felt the vacillatingly skip along her tongue.  
“I’m just nervous” The confession made her look down slightly embarrassed but the small smile from her friend assured her that it was all right as Chloe traced her finger back down and directed it around.

“Me too, but… we’ll take it slow, alright? Let’s just… forget everything that is happening, just for a moment” A soothing voice, lead with a gentle palm on Max’s back promised her a benevolent spell and excited her with the forthcoming new experiences that she would share with the girl before her.

She nodded once and in doing so, she felt her body loosen up, the butterflies in her stomach beginning to flutter wildly and her heart responding to her arousal by beating enthusiastically just as Chloe grabbed her by the hips, gently pulling her closer and taking a deep breath.


	29. My Girl's Missing Wing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT.  
> READER DISCRETION ADVISED.

Their lips had been hovering close to each other, the final inch being the line of the anticipated beginning that could lead anywhere they wanted it. The very thought of such a deciding move made both the girls crib their agitation and maintain it. A brush of the lips to test the intimacy about to become, a single sample that took control of their beating hearts and guided them gracefully into the gentle kiss and lifted their bodies from the ground. Chloe held both her hands at the bottom of Max’s back, closing her eyes to savor her lover’s lips pressing up against hers, the intensity having shot up in an instant, the yearning for each other’s touch heating up the atmosphere. The kiss changed, altered itself into a lustful desire prompting Max to slide her hands in under Chloe’s black shirt and feel her naked skin on the palm of her hand as she took a breath through her nose. The world began spinning, Max’s mouth opening slightly to wrap around Chloe’s lips with the lewd noises of the suction between their lips occasionally breaking. Max suddenly felt Chloe taking a step backward, but still holding her close and maintaining the kiss while walking as one towards the bed, not being able to separate from each other for a single second. Chloe spun Max in a semicircle and signaled for her to lie down on the welcoming bed with the white sheets, which she promptly agreed to and slowly sat down on the edge, pulling Chloe down with her. However, she was unable to fully lie down on her back as Chloe was already bending forward as much as her body would allow.

“Hang on,” Max whispered out with a heated voice, momentarily breaking away from the long kiss to get in a proper position. Pushing herself to the center of the bed and turning slightly, now able to lie on her back on the length of the bed, noticing the bright ceiling lamp, hanging lazily above her.

As Chloe began following her lead and got on the bed as well on her hands and knees, Max quickly took off her beige hoodie and threw it onto the carpet floor. As she looked back up again, she saw that the blue-haired girl had already crawled up to her with her hands and knees to support her weight having been placed on either side of the eager girl lying temptingly on the bed. Having her lover on top of her with shaky breaths and a flustered face excited Max to such an extent that she could feel her whole body trembling. It took but one second before their lips had connected yet again as Chloe began carefully spreading her knees as to place the lower part of her body onto Max, making her suck in her stomach when she felt their crotch area pressing against each other. Her body took over her mind, slowly but firmly, Max slid both her hands from Chloe’s shoulders, down to her back and cautiously continuing. The girl on top had noticed the uncertainty and amidst the kiss, nodded slightly to express her approval. There was no need for more convincing as Max moved her hands the extra step and eventually had her palms securely on the side of Chloe’s ass. It felt restricting that her hands were on the outside of her jeans, however, but when she felt Chloe tensing and kissing even more vigorously it became more than adequate. Without knowing the concept of being able to resist, Max grabbed onto Chloe’s ass with both her hands as she pressed the lower part of her body down while lifting her own simultaneously.

“Just- ooooh god” Chloe moaned out as Max ground her burning loin in between Chloe’s legs, sending such a tingling feeling throughout her body that she was stopped midsentence.

Max frighteningly halted her movements, afraid that she had crossed a line given that Chloe tried to speak up.   
“Oh, sorry! Did I- did I do something wrong?” She asked, her face glowing red and sweat already beginning to secrete.

“No no, I was just gonna say, eh, just tell me if it’s too much or… if I do something that you don’t like” Chloe focus point drifted a little away, obviously embarrassed, with Max, on the other hand, finding it utterly endearing that she was so centered around pleasing her while also making sure she was comfortable, which was more or less the same way Max felt.

“Don’t worry, Chloe. I’ll say something if there’s anything wrong, but I’m… I’m ready, so don’t think twice” Max perfectly understood where Chloe was coming from, but she couldn’t imagine this moment to be anything other than pleasurable, not because it would be perfect, but because it was with her. This blue-haired girl. A final reassurance came in the form of a passionate kiss that kick-started the erotic activities once more.

The humping motions eventually became intuitive, they had both gotten into the flow; and in rhythm pressed their crotches against each other. Max felt her pants and panties sliding across her vagina and was forced to lean away from the sloppy kiss to bite her teeth together in pure arousal. It was difficult to muster a word, even though it seemed like Chloe was trying to, but having to stop every time their crotches separated, only to be pressed up against each other again. The dry humping only sped up in both speed and intensity as Max was digging her fingers into Chloe’s ass cheeks to have control of her hips, making them able to synchronize when to pull away and when to keep pressing for extended periods.  
Chloe felt increasingly hornier, reaching a point that was almost unbearable, but she directed her thoughts, decided to not advance and let Max guide the tempo. It was, however, a huge relief when Chloe felt a pair of thumbs under the waistband of her pants, very cautiously asking for permission to go under, a permission that was granted quicker than words could’ve by arching her back, lifting the waistband and making space for Max to slide her hands in under.  
Now having the permission, Max slid her hands a little away only to slide them back down, but this time under Chloe’s jeans and her underwear, effectively getting a grip on her partner's bare ass. While continuing to hump each other, Max’s desire took over as she began spreading Chloe’s butt cheeks in under her panties and explored the cold skin with her fingers. At the same time, Chloe joined in as well, lifting her left hand from the bed, immediately making her shift her balance as to place her palm onto Max’s right breast. It sent a sensual shock through her that only continued as she began squeezing her breast vigorously which was necessary as once more, the clothes had become somewhat of an inconvenience, as there was both a white shirt and a bra separating Chloe’s enthusiastic hand from the girl’s eager breast.

“Mmm, should we, hah, undress?” Max surprised herself at how she was only able to moan out her words, with a high-pitched gasp in-between.

While Chloe showed expressions of having heard the request, she seemed understandably distracted as she arched her back to lock Max’s hands between her butt and her jeans, making her press her palms firmly onto her cheeks.

_Holy shit, Chloe really loves to get her ass grabbed._

Max quickly made a mental note while slowing down her thrusting motions and focusing more on caressing her friend’s behind.

Chloe still hadn’t responded in any decipherable way, only making rapid noises of variations between gasps for air or long moaning noises, which somehow turned Max on to great amounts. The girly and sensual moans, being her favorite.

“Just a second” The blue-haired girl eventually responded, but only just, as she had lowered her head down to once more kiss her partner even more fervently than previously, as each time they opened the mouth, Chloe snuck her tongue a little out, just enough so Max could feel it when her lips locked around it, presumably a question as to if she would be okay with involving tongue in their sultry kiss. However, Max felt nervous about acting on something that was just a hunch, so she too only stuck out her tongue slightly in an attempt to test her assumption. As soon as Chloe felt the tip of the shy girl’s tongue touching her own, she decided to go for it and moved her tongue into Max’s mouth, just for a second, then backed out to get a feel of her reaction. It was fortunately well met and to great delight of Chloe when Max returned the action and pushed out her tongue from between her lips during the next kiss, leading to them both getting the sensation of their tongues moving over and under each other, creating wet and sloppy sounds that would at any other time sound repulsive, but in the moment, were completely arousing. The involvement of tongue had now become standard each time their lips met, but with it came another implication; the hair. Neither of them had seen it coming, but it was inevitable that some of their hair would find its way to their mouth in the kisses. It was hard to tell which of the girls’ hair it was, but it was a menace nonetheless. Max had tried to ignore it, while Chloe had very well acknowledged it and during their kiss, had moved her left hand and used her finger to drag away the teasing hair. However, like a slain Hydra, the hair somehow multiplied when it had gotten rid of, now demanding an increasingly amount of work to keep their kisses hair free. Chloe eventually couldn’t keep silent about the matter and pulled her lips away in a chuckle.

“Fucking hair” She let out with a flustered smile and then sighed.

Max replied with a chuckle of her own while gazing at the girl on top of her, her messy hair exposing the conspicuous truth; it was her hair that had gotten in the way. “Should we… change position or something?” She felt asking highlighted her inexperience in sex in some way but hardly felt ashamed by it during the moment.

Looking thoughtful for a second, Chloe eventually leaned to the side, making Max pull out her hands from under the pants, until she rolled over on her back next to Max, either having something in mind or simply from exhausting of having to support her own weight.  
“God damn” She let out with exasperation, falling flat on the bed with a vacant stare at the ceiling.  
“I mean- yeah, position. Do you, eh, h-have some in mind?” Chloe eventually snapped out of her trance and asked sheepishly.

It was noticeable how she let Max make the decisions, most likely because she felt conscious about not pushing her friend into something she was too shy to decline. Which unfortunately led Max to feel the pressure of decision making.

_Ahhh, I don’t know. Or I do know, but… it’s awkward as fuck to say it. Hey, Chloe. I want you butt-naked on the bed, spreading your legs like your life depended on it and let me lick you while moaning out my name in heat. Fuck, that’s just too much. Chloe would probably love if I said that, though…_

“We can just stop for now, if…” Chloe suggested while reading Max’s pent up face, her voice revealing the disappointment in her own sentence, but she looked as if she was about to accept that their session had been cut short.

“I don't know. I... not for my sake at least. I was just thinking that maybe… we ehh… you could get…” It was a struggle to say and her mind kept repeating the words over in her head to structure them correctly with the right phrasing. Chloe reacted to the noteworthy amount of time she used, by opening her mouth to help her along.

“Maybe we should get undressed, yeah?” She let out to the great relief of Max who was about to explode in frustration over her own ineptitude. While it wasn’t exactly what her wicked thoughts were about to slip through her stone tongue, she still felt immensely pleased that Chloe was the one she was doing this intimate act with, rather than someone she didn’t feel completely comfortable with. Although, completely comfortable may be an exaggeration, but that was purely in light of her own insecurities.

“You’re just saying that to get me undressed” Undoubtedly the perfect time to make a joke. Max couldn’t even wrap her head around at which part of her thought that would be a good idea.

Fortunately, Chloe chuckled out lightly with a crooked smile. “Caught me red-handed” Her blue eyes glimmered in the light from the ceiling lamp, which had seemed to glow fainter over time, neither of them had considered turning it off, but in consideration, it may had been best to keep it on to avoid any wrong-touch incidents.

The subtle smile quickly disappeared when her eyes shot up and her body forced her to take a deep breath through her nose when Chloe got up from her lying position and turned towards Max whose heart was beating like the bass drum of a Slayer song when she felt the warm hands take a hold of her white shirt and began dragging it up her body.

_Oh, fuck. I thought we would undress ourselves. Shit shit shit shit._

The butterflies in her stomach had turned into tiny, twitchy squirrels with giant bee wings, just buzzing wildly around in her stomach, making her entire body shake from pure exhilaration. As Chloe dragged her shirt over her breasts, she hurried to lift her arms to aid her in the undressing, while trying to tense her limbs to force her body from shaking, which only made it more obvious.

“You alright?” It was the inevitable question that came from Chloe, who was yet again, sweetly concerned about her friend. She hesitated whether or not the stop her actions, but given the shirt had already reached Max’s chin, it would just look comically stupid if she stopped.

“Yeah” Max answered with the most confident voice she was able to, but her flinching body gave her away as her shirt eventually came off, exposing her naked body with the exception of her dark-blue bra.

“You’re shaking” Again, her voice was stretched in worry as she held the shirt in her right hand and for valid reasons, but Max was determined to convince Chloe that everything was alright.

“I know, I’m just… I’m just self-conscious, but…” She knew there was one thing that could soothe her concerned friend. The uncovered truth.  
“I’m incredibly horny as well” Her voice was alluring when she studied Chloe with lascivious eyes and her mouth half-open presented in the dim light.

Chloe, almost instantly, broke into a smirk while biting down on her bottom lip. Max’s words had been the conversation ender and Chloe’s actions recommencing their moment as she slowly ran her hands down her body and grabbed the bottom of her shirt with crossed arms and a locked gaze on her half-naked lover, glowing with lust. The slow movements succeed in teasing Max to such an extent that she felt her whole body tense in anticipation, only being allowed to watch Chloe’s slender stomach when she paused halfway. She couldn’t help but to look up, silently demanding her to undress fully which Chloe playfully considered simply to tease her waiting partner, but it proved too difficult for her to even wait, leading her to lift her shirt even higher, eventually exposing her black cotton bra, covering the all-important part of her awe-inspiring proportioned breasts. While Max had seen them before, it had happened so quickly during that time in the bathroom that it had seemed like a fleeting dream, but now she had all the time in the world to observe and admire the flirtatious girl in front of her. The menacing shirt was thrown away in haste, Chloe obviously being too turned on to continue teasing her friend when she reached around and began undoing the lock on her bra while giving a single prerequisite nod to the dumbfounded girl lying on the bed. It was a perverted prompt for Max to take off her bra as well, which she could feel her hardened nipples begging for too. Obliging with shaky hands, Max arched her back and began fiddling with the lock while Chloe had already undone her own and let the piece of fabric fall gracefully down exposing the entirety of her bare torso. Max had to drop everything she was doing to completely focus on the beautiful girl before her. Her skin was pale in contrast to her previously black attire along with the black eyeliner beneath her eyes. Her calm body language proved that she was, once again, not too shy with being so exposed as she practically stuck to a pose that highlighted her perky breasts. While they were not as big as the girls that you’d see on some magazines, Max still felt her proportions fitted her young body perfectly and had no issues making the blushing girl detached from body and mind, forcing her to blink hard once to snap back into reality. She hurried to undo her own bra, but when she eventually felt the lock come off, a consequential sense of shyness washed over her and enhanced when the bra came off, exposing her own breasts. The lack of confidence made Max suck in her stomach, but she was determined to give Chloe just as good of a peak that she had provided, driving herself to unfold her arms to the side and taking a deep breath, lifting her chest. Chloe, not even peeking but downright staring at her friends newly exposed parts made Max blush even more than before as she couldn’t help but giving off a genuine smile.

“Holy shit, you’re hot” Chloe blurted without a second thought and surprisingly enough, she sounded so sincere and without even cracking a smile. Her eyes were lost in a gaze and her pupils widening as if she was staring at some holy deity.  
  
Max wanted to reply, or at least show her appreciation of the girl’s candid compliment, but there was no need. They both knew in the embracing silence and the prospering atmosphere that every straw and every dust of affection had been found, stored and now flowing through their veins.  
Max let her eyes fall gently down as to guide Chloe’s hand with a ghostly string attached. It was not a question of safeguarding but of virtue when Chloe’s hand hovered closer with electricity emanating it and when it so gracefully landed on Max’s chest, a restored sense of consolation bloomed as the soft hand calmly skated down, making a deliberate pass over the protruding part that was the smooth breast and continued down the stomach, passing her belly button, over the pants and took hold of the tiny zipper and with fluid movements pulled it down, barely making a sound. Max broke her gaze, stopped the guidance to let the girl do whatever she pleased by leaning her head back into the pillow, noticing the light above withering away before closing her eyes in euphoria.  
  
Not a feeling surpassed the excitement Max felt when the pants were dragged down her legs to feel the cozy air on her bare legs and while it was not expected, neither by Max nor Chloe, when her panties were dragged down as well along with the pants, it only became more stimulating, forcing the trembling girl let out a high-pitched whimper with her breath. Everything came off in one fell swoop, the pants being thrown to the floor with a thump, Chloe quickly cringing when she realized Max had her phone in her pocket, but it became insignificant when she turned her attention back to the girl she had left naked and vulnerable lying diffident on the bed, bending her legs while keeping them close to each other, utterly embarrassed about showing Chloe her most private part. While her whole body was warm, the intensity of her burning loin was the determining factor for slowly spreading her legs, her partner waiting patiently with a reassuring expression on her serene face.   
  
“I’ll be gentle, Max. I promise” She whispered out, blinking slowly before letting her eyes fall down, her cheeks almost instantly turning pink while taking a quick breath which she was unprepared for, almost making her cough before clearing her throat.

Max took one hand up to her face, holding a finger to her mouth while looking away shyly. “Don’t” her voice nearly cracked as she was now spreading her legs invitingly. “I want it, Chloe. I want you” her mind went hazy, stuck in ecstasy. “Please, touch me” Every nerve in her body tickled her, every beat of her heart reminded her of her own being and the very hand she begged for sliding down her thigh sparked her inner desires with a flame of passion. A single moment of heaven for the two girls.


	30. ...And Her Halo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DESCRIPTIVE SEXUAL CONTENT.  
> READER DISCRETION ADVISED.
> 
> Due to the mature content of this chapter, I have added a warning *** to signal the beginning and end of the explicit content if it would be preferable for you, the reader, to skip the sex scene.

“Hey, Max” Chloe finally let out in a haze after having been looking at Max with this empty stare in her eyes, her hand resting on the warm thigh belonging to the staggered girl tangled around the white bed.  
“There’s something I kinda… have to tell you, but haven’t really gotten around to” Her words were a blur, her mouth moving without direction. She wasn’t starting a conversation.  
“If you could, I guess, remind me after…” She simply made a note of her friend so it was written down and not stuck in the back of her head.  
It felt unbecoming and awkward to suddenly bring up such a bewildering request for a reminder, but Max nodded once and complied. “Sure, Chloe” Unsure how to really respond, the girl simply shot Chloe a questioning look.

“Right right, sorry” She was quick to apologize for interrupting such an intense moment where one of two girls were fully naked. With an exhale she mumbled something indistinct while placing her left hand back where it belonged; on her partner’s temperate thigh while leaning forward.  
“You ready?” She whispered quietly while moving her hand down with tickling movements.

Everything in the room cast a lazy shadow from the dim light hanging from the ceiling, while every sound was absent as to highlight their young hearts beating away. The temperature had remained constant with its gentle heat surrounding them, yet Max’s nude body acted as if she was standing inches away from an erupting volcano. Chloe, still wearing her dark-blue jeans seemed slightly cooler, but her stiff body language suggested that she was still aware of the intimate situation and tried hard not to act faulty to the becoming atmosphere of intense emotions and psychical love.  

  
***

  
Max lifted her shoulders, took a breath through her nose and relaxed her muscles.  
“Yeah” She braced herself as she spread her legs the final inch to give Chloe all the available room to slide her hand down the remaining distance before touching the very bottom of her thigh with a finger grazing the outer lip. Max curled her tongue inside of her mouth and pressed the back of her head down the pillow, closing her eyes shut. One finger slipped against her sensitive clit, just enough pressure for her to suddenly feel a burst of sensations with a gasp escaping her trembling lips.

The soft finger began gently moving in circles, carefully exploring the wet area. Max felt all of her senses rushing to her fervent crotch and when she felt the tip of the finger entering her tight hole, her whole body shuddered from the tingle. Chloe jollily ogled at the girl’s erotic expressions she created when sliding her finger deeper and deeper inside of her, feeling the wet flesh tightening around her middle finger. In pursuit of creating maximum pleasure, she began twisting and turning her finger, looking for the most sensitive places. Max was forced to dig her nails into the sheet she was lying on while taking a deep breath, arching her back and lifting her naked chest. Colorful shapes began forming in her blackened vision while every exhale was shaky and heated. It nearly frightened her how good it felt and how much she desired for more, which eventually led her to move her hips around, getting the entire feel of the girl’s finger sliding slowly out, only the be pushed back again in with even more carnally sensations. Max couldn’t help but begin groaning as it began sliding back and forth, enjoying every moment of penetration.

Seeing how much the girl was relishing in the animation and given how turned on she was, Chloe began speeding up her movements, continuously pushing her finger in and out while leaning over her lover and moving her head down, her heart thrusting inside of her chest while looking at the bouncy tits mere inches from her flustered face. In pure arousal and knowing there would be no protest, she exuberantly placed her lips around Max’s left nipple, giving it a passionate kiss before beginning to flick it with her tongue.

The pleasure points where almost too much for Max to handle as every moan came from her diaphragm with her whole body losing its control. “Oh, Chloe, Chloe!” she yelped without a thought, her mind barely being able to handle the sensation of having her nipples licked while a finger was vigorously pumping inside of her. Chloe was, fortunately, able to extinct between the sounds of pleasure and pain and knew her name being called was just a begging for more. There was no second thought when she pulled her middle finger out, soaked in the gleaming fluids, and added her index finger to the mix before cautiously trying to enter her lover once more with both fingers, but could instantly feel that her hole was too tight and she didn't want to cause the girl any pain by forcing it. Instead, she slowly began inserting her index finger while using her thumb to rub above the hole. It felt like electricity storming through her body when Max felt the two fingers working the different tasks and the shock kick started her nerves and compelled her to lash her arms up and grab the back of Chloe’s head, digging her fingers into her blue hair and pushing her down onto her zealous breast. It wasn’t long before the entirety of Max’s stiff nipple was covered in saliva from Chloe’s sucking and licking.  
“Please, Chloe. I need you!” Max cried out in heat, having never felt so horny in her entire life.

Chloe suddenly lifted her head from her partner’s breast to take a breath. “Hah, hah. Oh, God” She exclaimed, her face completely red from excitement, her eyes bursting with lust. Like her very life depended on it, Chloe slipped out her finger from the girl’s soaked slit and grabbed her hips, holding them for just a second to allow Max the understanding of her intentions, but there was no need. It was like their minds had become one, both knowing exactly what the other desired as Max turned her body around with the help of Chloe’s hands to lay on her stomach, shortly presenting her ass pressed together to her lustful lover. As quick as her body was able to move, Chloe grabbed the waistband of her own pants and without fiddling with the zipper, forcefully pulled them down along with her panties down to her knees to free her own titillated crotch. It was clear to tell that Chloe’s black panties were soaked in her own juices and that she too needed relief. Moving a little back to get in better position, Chloe once more grabbed Max’s hips and lifted her up, leading her ass to point straight up, her butt cheeks spread wide, revealing her twitching asshole and her dripping vagina just waiting to be pleased. While both of them were sweating, Max could feel the heat escaping from every pore of her body while she had a face buried in the white pillow, feeling incredibly lascivious with her bare ass in the air.

_Come on, Chloe. Please, I need it._

Her prayers were quick to be heard when she felt a pair of hands being placed on either of her cheeks, grabbing tightly and giving a gentle smack as well. Her mind was hazy and time went by quick, barely having a second to think before she felt a wet tongue drawing scribbles on her ass with saliva. Max began quivering in excitement, holding her breath while Chloe was going in a slow, straight line from the corner of her lover’s cheek, down to the area that was permeating incredible heat. It took too long, but the wet tongue finally made contact with her most sensitive place and unable to help herself, Chloe began dragging her tongue across its surface, making sure to take long, delicate strokes across her slit. While continuing to lick around the area, Chloe removed her right hand from Max’s cheek and placed it securely on her own eager pussy in order to please herself. Only when she opened up Max’s outer lips with her tongue and began tasting her wetness did she begin to caress and rub herself. With now only her left hand at disposal she had to do her best to separate Max’s cheeks once more to thoroughly bury her face in her crotch.

Intoxicated with the girl’s scent, her body took over as she forced her tongue inside Max’s hole, creating a deep, sensual moan from her which only repeated itself when she began thrusting, prompting the receiving girl to nudge her hips around, rubbing her nether regions against Chloe’s face. The muscles in her crotch tensed around the playful tongue as she could feel Chloe’s placement of her head lead her nose to be rubbed between her cheeks, with the soft skin occasionally grazing her asshole. It was not exactly a sensation she was prepared for, but in the heat of the moment, there was hardly any need for concern. That being said, there was reason for wondering when she felt the tongue slip out of her tickled pink vagina and two hands placed on either side of her ass cheeks in order to separate them, exposing her twitching asshole all too clearly, to such an extent she could feel the warm breath of Chloe drifting along the surface.

Chloe held her hands for a while, her thumbs mere inches from the petite hole, with a pause entering. The blue-haired girl’s breath got louder, her tongue sticking out, covered in her lover’s fluids. Every scent that entered her nose, every enhanced touch and every striking charm she saw before her, pushed her face closer with her tongue starting from the responsive clit, moving upwards along the pussy and bravely continued, until a sudden burst of new feelings passed Max’s body when she felt the wet tongue running over her stretched asshole, making her tense her shoulders and shoot her eyes open.

“Woah, woah, Chloe, I think-“ she just managed to blurt out when she felt something enter the hole. Whether it was a finger or a tongue, it instinctively forced her body to tighten and dart her bottom down to pull away from the very weird sensation.  
“Eee!” Max yelped while clenching her bottom.

Chloe’s mind instantly cleared when her partner pulled away, a shock running through her, making the hair on her neck rise, realizing she had taken it a tad too far. “Oh shit, Max, I’m so sorry! Was it too much?” Her entire face winced and her cheeks were blushing red, feeling so incredibly strained that she had been unable to control her bodily desires.

Max took a second to collect herself, her entire body pressing down against the bed while sucking in her lips. “Ehh, it’s just…” She took a breath in an attempt to loosen her muscles. “I was not prepared for that”  
Her right eye was half closed as the surprise had affected her marginally.

“God, I’m so fucking sorry. I just- I got lost in the moment and didn’t think. I didn’t fucking think” Chloe beat herself up mentally, absurdly angry at herself for just lashing herself over Max as if she was some kind of toy. “Goddammit,” she whispered to herself as she turned around, her legs hanging off the edge of the bed while closing her eyes, wanting to be swallowed up by the world.

Not quite having recovered, Max still forced herself to turn around on her back, then sit straight up and shuffle closer to her back-faced friend in a hurry. “Don’t feel bad, Chloe. I just never tried to have something, ehm, enter there, so the feeling just caught me off guard. It’s not your fault” Her words were spoken with a soft voice, feeling legitimately nervous about Chloe blowing her mistake up to huge proportions, when it was simply a small miscalculation.

“Yeah, but… I said I’d take it slow and what do I do? I ram a finger up your ass” While it was no longer a mystery what had entered, the blunt way Chloe just laid it out there immediately forced out a chuckle from Max that she was not prepared for. She instantly tried to hold it down, but the snickering air forced it way out as she simply couldn’t help it.

“Sorry sorry” Max apologized amidst her giggling.  
“It’s just, when you put it like that, it does sound rather… rough”

 Chloe hesitantly shrugged her right shoulder as a sarcastic smile formed on her lips.

 Observing her for a while, Max made some mental convincing before letting out a sigh to make her position known when crawling closer. She swallowed before reaching her arms out and hugging the blue-haired girl from behind, her arms wrapped around her chest and her head resting on her left shoulder.  
“It was really good, Chloe. You felt amazing” The whisper floated next to her ear, her warm breath grazing her cheek before she moved her head down and placed her lips upon the naked shoulder.  
“Can I…?” She asked delicately while moving her right hand slowly down, her pinky brushing the top of her breast wanting to see if Chloe was all turned around or if she would be willing to continue for a while. It was difficult to get a feel of her response as Max was unable to see her expression, but her quiet presence was not a sign of refusal, markedly expressed when she placed her palm on Max’s hand and led it shakenly down. Chloe took a breath through her nose, as her very heartbeat could be felt by the touch of her chest but quickly disappeared again when their hands had moved as one down to her right breast, feeling the nipple in the center of her palm. Max could feel her own body shooting adrenaline through her veins as she began squeezing the soft area, immediately getting a reaction from the chary girl in the form a thin gasp. The kissing of the neck with her sharp kisses sending flowing tenderness through her skin, down to Chloe’s muscles, the gentle caressing of her delicate breasts, the stiff nipples being pressed against her back with the scent of a loving girl behind her, it all came together in a tender affection that could not be disturbed and did not shy away when another hand began exploring around the hip. Her pants and panties were hanging loosely around the blue-haired girl’s ankles, exposing every private part of her body that the forbearing touches were leading towards. Max’s fingers began walking towards the center of her partner’s body with tiny steps, making sure to add a pressure on every piece of skin along the way to her waiting vagina. To fully appreciate the sensation, Chloe closed her eyes when she felt the velvety finger touch her labia with the rough patch of hair, delicately opening up the external lips to let the air touch her all over. The neck-kisses had worked their way up to the ear, her nose brushing against her aromatic hair. They fell into a flow and let the wave of passion wash over them as a touch became the source of pleasure when the shy’s girls finger found its place between Chloe’s inner lips and began sliding up and down with repetitive motions. The fleshy sounds and the deep breaths filled the room, heating the temperature in the moment when the lower joint of the finger began pressing down on the clit. Chloe gasped quickly, her whole body jerking backward, pushing Max a little away but being able to maintain her position as the reaction was merely a psychical appreciation of the fulfilling desires. With the tip of her finger, Max began going in circles around the ardent hole with teasing results. Chloe tensed and to signal for her partner to go in, she turned her head to the left to face the girl that was pleasing her, forthwith kissing her enchanting lips. It was steam rising to her head as their tongues locked up and initiated a gracious slow-dance with each other.  
  
Bending her finger, Max finally decided to let her lover wait no longer and slid her finger inside the taut hole, immediately getting a feel of the wetness inside of her. Chloe nearly bounced upwards as she was forced to let out a girly moan with a breath that entered Max’s mouth. While the fidgety girl was unsure of how to maximize the pleasure, she tried to recall what Chloe had done and by turning her hand slightly, managed to begin rubbing the palpitating clit with her thumb. While it did not create a noticeable reaction from her partner, it certainly didn’t seem to do any harm and she attentively continued. Her left hand that had been stationed around Chloe’s hips began craving the sensation of creating pleasure as well and aimlessly began moving around on the slender body, exploring every inch of her soft skin to find a spot to please. While the recollection of Chloe’s love for ass-grabbing did flash inside of her mind, it was useless as the girl was sitting down on the bed, with the sheets being the lucky one of fondling her bare ass. However, not wanting to simply give up and let the cocky fabric win, Max placed her left hand on the bottom of Chloe’s back but being unable to go any further in the losing battle. In the deciding moment, the blue-haired girl pulled away from the sloppy kiss to focus her attention on her partner who was eagerly trying to please her in any way possible, and by placing her own hands on the edge of the bed and only using her arm strength, lifted herself a few inches off the bed, giving Max’s hand the opportunity to participate. Not wanting the window to close on her, she was quick to rush her hand down and place it securely on her shaped cheek as a way to mark her territory.

“Don’t do anything you don’t want to” Chloe promptly whispered out but being unable to change her flustered expression, unveiling the amount of lasciviousness running through her.

Still, with a finger inside of her, Max sent her partner a single look with an open mouth and sheepish cheeks, showing her understanding, but also her determination. “Trust me” she barely managed to let out before she amorously entwined their soft and moistened lips together once more. While speeding up the tempo with her finger penetrating the girl’s opening she began sensually caressing Chloe’s bottom with all the five fingers of her left hand. Aware of her actions, Max guided one of those fingers closer the center of Chloe’ ass and felt her heart speed up as a result when she imagined doing the very thing she felt the hot body in her arms desiring. It was a daring move, but assuming the girl she was so closely connected to was into that sort of thing given the previous unsuccessful actions that she had experienced first-hand, there was no reason of her own to withdraw now. Chloe’s body had begun sliding back and forth with her kisses getting more and more sloppy and uncoordinated, a moot indication of her craving to reach climax. If there would be any time to take a chance, it would be now. Bite the bullet or get your teeth blown out in the process and probably die.  
Sticking the index finger of her right hand as deep as she could inside Chloe’s pussy, she simultaneously began stroking the girl’s other hole with her pinky finger on her left hand. This act quite dramatically triggered a reaction from her partner in the form of a deep breath, lifted shoulders and eyes closed shut in euphorbia.

“Max, Max, Max” She shrieked out in urgency with a shaking in her voice.  
“I’m getting really fucking close”

The final few seconds, the gateway to climax and the pursuit of giving her lover an orgasm that the beauty of her celestial being deserved. With no hesitation, Max pulled out her finger from Chloe’s opening and began rubbing it and with perfect timing, the moment she placed her lips on her neck to hold her steady she slid her pinky finger inside of Chloe’s other hole and held it firmly. Chloe opened her mouth, but there was barely any sound to register. All her pent up desires were at the peak, ready to let go and drop when Chloe allowed her mind to be overtaken by the sensations, readily giving herself over to pleasure and all the tension leaving her body for a moment, her legs quaking in the throws of orgasm with Max holding on for dear life as it legitimately seemed as if Chloe was about to explode when a cry suddenly escaped from her mouth and her fluids leaking out onto Max’s fingers, covering them in a glistering sheen. The shaking suddenly stopped as she tensed her shoulders and propelled her nether region forward with short intervals, with Max allowing every second she desired in her pleasurable state, keeping her right hand on her crotch and her pinky finger still in her asshole which she was unable to move even an inch with the pressure surrounding Chloe’s source of pleasure. Max could have sworn she saw the sweat on the girl's naked body secrete right before her eyes when she finally let out a long exhale with her body going limp.  Max waited a few seconds to make sure she had finished her climax before she nudged her forehead against the side of Chloe’s head to give a forewarning before pulling out her finger from her bottom and shuffling a little back to give her room for her mind to clear, something Max needed herself as well.

  
***

  
A few seconds passed with only the sound of their lungs desperate for air, just waiting for someone to say the first word. With Max knowing her friend’s personality quite well, she decided to keep quiet and wait for a sarcastic remark or a whimsical joke.  
Even though it took a few seconds until the blur escaped from Chloe’s vision, she eventually turned slightly and moved her head lazily around. Sliding her tongue across her teeth, she blinked once with her black eyelashes highlighting her feminine textures as she began sliding a finger across the back of her hand. “You’re really amazing, Max. It’s… I never want to spend a second of my life without knowing that… that you’re mine” although her voice was hesitant, she still said it with so much certainty.

The words completely threw Max off guard as a dumb smiled formed on her lips that cleared her mind in an instant. There were so many responses, but none were up to par. So many ways to show her appreciation and affection, but so few ways to present what she really felt. Instead of turning it into a mediocre exchange of loving words, she instead looked down at her own nude body, her glassy fingers covered in the girl’s fluids and with every beat of her heart, her smile grew wider. With every blink of her eyes, her vision became brighter. So vulnerable this coy girl was, yet so incredibly comfortable. Not knowing what to do with all this satisfaction flowing through her, she decided to let her body relax and fell down on her back, spread across the bedsheet. The thump made Chloe look back at her, raising an eyebrow in the process with such a slothful smile carved on her serene face. Taking a breath through her nose to embrace the calm, she pulled herself off from the edge of the bed to start the journey of scavenging for the discarded clothes, scattered around their little private island.  
  
It was scarcely intentional that Max began observing the girl walking around in small circles looking for their underwear, it was simply instinctive that her half-closed eyes began following the pink blob moving around. Her little pink blob.

_Holy shit. Okay, clear head. So what Chloe just said… I mean, it’s kinda obvious how she keeps dancing around it. Maybe I should say it first? I love you, Chloe. Hmm… I mean, it has already been said in casual conversation, but that doesn’t really count. Eck, she sucks at dancing so she’ll probably stumble and randomly say it anyway. Oh, that reminds me… she had something to tell me that she wanted me to remind her off. I guess it’s possible she’s going to say it now, then._

Pulling herself a little off from the bed with arms that felt like cooked spaghetti, Max put her hand up to her face and was just about to run her fingers through her hair but realized in time that would most likely be a bad idea before washing them off. It would definitely be some questionable hair gel.  
  
“Hey, nude scavenger-hunter” Max let out while pulling her body back so she could use the forward momentum to push herself fully off from the bed and stand on her two legs that felt like the boiling water used to cook the spaghetti.

Chloe looked up, reacting to the sound but remarkably confused as she held a pair of panties in her left hand and a black shirt in her right. “Eh, yea?”

“I’m just gonna clean up in the bathroom and then you had something to tell me, right?” Looking a little around at the closed doors, she decided to take a chance and go for the one closest to the entrance of the room.

“Oh, right” Chloe stretched the word just slightly, but enough for Max to take notice.  
“It’s not because I need to… it was nothing” Her voice cautiously rose in uncertainty, her gaze completely lost.  
“Well, you need to know so… yeah. Go wash up and then ehm… just listen to me for a few seconds, okay?”    
Chloe, clearly struggling with whatever what could be on her mind, had stopped moving and was now just mouthing silent words to herself.

Max took her request with uncertainty, partly curious, partly nervous. Her expectations of Chloe wanting to say she loved her, were substantially lowered as it seemed like too much of a build-up. There had to be something more. Walking on the carpet floor with her bare feet, Max opened the door that luckily lead to the plain, white bathroom. A single sink with a mirror above, a shower, a toilet and a rack for towels. Not the most exciting bathroom she had ever been in. The patterned tiled floor was, however, uncomfortable to walk on, making her tip-toe her way over to the sink as she glanced in the pristine mirror. As awakening after ten hours of sleep, the hair was the most noticeable. Scruffy and all over the place, it would take a good comb to even stand a chance against the brown monster on her head. While her azure eyes were glittering, it was impossible to not sigh at the dark bags under those eyes. Having not slept for approximately twenty two hours had clearly taken a toll on her body. With a scoff, Max reached for the faucet and let the water pour down into the sink.

_Man. While it was amazing, sex is really awkward at times. Or at least the first time it is… and so exhausting. Not to mention that my butt still kinda hurts. God, I could lie down on a boulder and still sleep for a day, no problem. But holy, shit…_

Placing her hands in the sink, Max began rubbing her hands with the hot water while closing her eyes and bobbing her head from side to side.

_I have never been so aroused in my life… and despite my idiocy, Chloe really seemed like she was into it as well. I’ll call it a success._

The water became warmer, reaching an uncomfortable level, but Max decided she would endure the pain rather than spending energy on turning the handles.

_Well, I should probably wait with calling it a success before I hear what Chloe has to say. It seemed serious… she actually looked really nervous. I mean, she… wait. She did say she wanted to spend every second of her life with me, but that’s… like… eh, like…_

Like so many times before, Max could feel her heart beginning to pound in her chest, but this time, for very different reasons. A chill forced it way through her body, making her retract her hands and pull them close to her body before looking into the mirror once more.

_No. Nopey nopey. That’s so not what it’s going to be._

Her ears perked at the sound of clothes being thrown on the bed, followed by a shuffling noise.

_Right?_


	31. Angel

A traitorous mind and an insensible heart amidst these daunting surroundings were what the cautious and admittedly excited girl had to deal with while putting on the first piece of clothing on her bare body. Chloe had become a ghost in the corner, just waiting for the right time to strike. She had already dressed and while it could just be the black clothes in contrast, her skin looked exceptionally pale. Her blue eyes wandered from side to side while she was biting at the skin of her thumb. It was all very offbeat but Max knew that patience would be key and rather than push her friend for the information, she simply continued to put on her dark blue bra while occasionally throwing a look around. In order to not alarm Chloe with any unnecessary staring, she had begun focusing on the wooden closet on her right, which she could have sworn had not been in this hotel room before. As any old closet should, it had fulfilled its purpose in life and had collected all the dust particles in the room throughout the years.

It was a guessing game if Chloe was purely waiting for Max to dress before she was going to start telling her about whatever was on her mind, or if she was actually building up the courage to say it. The latter option seemed to pique her interest as the idea, deemed as silly by her own tired self, of Chloe actually about to take it one step further than simply saying I love you, but perhaps even show it in a way that, after all the consideration that could be done in the span of ten seconds, would be rather hasty. Indeed, if Chloe suddenly got down on her knees there would be a hole somewhere in the wall of this room in the shape of a little girl. However, it annoyed her mind that her always disagreeing body lit up like a damned Christmas tree on the inside from the thought of her friend about to ask such a crazy question.

“Alright, alright” Chloe suddenly spoke up and took a step forward, throwing her arms in the air annoyed. Max, having put on her bra and now stumbling around trying to get her pants on, reacted quite shockingly, having to regain her balance as to not fall.  
“There was like… a time when I was really down and eh- I thought… I didn’t… I needed help of some sort, but… when I was a kid… I was dumb as a kid, but still…” The pauses rapidly increased with every unfinished sentence, prompting Max to push her legs through the pants hole and take over.

“I see what you’re saying and I agree, but maybe we should lie down? If you’re starting off by talking about your childhood, then I could definitely use some snuggles” Max jokingly said to undermine her nervousness, and also in an attempt to calm Chloe down.

However, in the split-second after she said this, Chloe sent her such an empty stare that it almost became intense in the vast nothingness. Yet, when she blinked once, her entire face feel into its usual place and her eyes much softer.  
  
“Fair” She smiled softly while lazy lifting her right arm with fluid movements.

It had seemed odd, spending all that time getting clothes on, just to lie down on the bed, but now was, unfortunately, not the time for sleeping, so no harm no foul. Using less than three seconds to get in a proper position on the bed, Max was somewhat eagerly awaiting Chloe’s words that seemingly were about to be turned into a story while lying on the right side of the bed, partially under the sheets. Much more ominous, Chloe had sat down on the side of the bed, her arms resting on her legs, facing away from Max.

“Right, so…” she began hesitantly.  
“First off… and remember this… I only wanted the best for you. That was the only thought I had and the single thought that will always be the most important” Her words were struck with a sense of sadness, her voice desperate and clingy. Her head fell down, just a little, with Max only being able to stare at her back, now utterly frightened.   
  
“I’m so tired” Chloe sighed.  
“Right, I… have been keeping something from you” Every breath found its way towards Max’s eyes and dried them.  
“And I hate myself for being so fucking dishonest… It has always been in the back of my head, nagging fucking endlessly into my brain and at this point, I feel like it would be better just to fuck everything up rather than glue together something that has such a major crack in it already, and would only grow wider” This was no good way to start off and it was clear that Chloe was building up to something that would either end up in story of the loss of hope or a story with no end, always continued by the strum of the depraved string.  
“There is no nice way to say this, and neither do I want to sugarcoat it…” It was if Max prepared herself for a punch, her whole body instinctively curling up.  
“You’re not perfect, Max” Said with such an emotionless tone, it carved a pathway that would lead to something unwanted and sickening.   
“I know you don’t feel as if you are and I certainly don’t expect you to be, but you are so special and… powerful, that not being perfect is a way bigger deal. I know being perfect, just being good actually, is subjective, but I have my own morality that points me in a general direction of right and wrong and yours… is so different” Chloe began tapping one of her knuckles with the tip of her finger three times, then held it. “So basically… fuck. Yeah, fuck” It slowly became clear how she tried to push down her emotions, that if being allowed a breath would grow into something else and become uncontrollable. With three taps on the next knuckle on her hand, she continued with a forced voice.  
“I look at a group of people and I want the best for all of them. I want the best for the majority, whoever they are. If my own body would allow it, I would kill an innocent guy to save a larger amount of people. I believe that my life is not worth anything more than that fucking receptionist from the lobby, but that’s just generally speaking. It gets complicated and this is something that keeps me awake at night so…” It became obvious to both of them how her words became unsure of themselves, prompting Max to break in and help her along, but something stopped her. Even though she knew Chloe was uncomfortable, even though the ache she was in was so obvious, she didn’t attempt to help her.

“The only way a life is more valuable than another life is if it brings value to other lives. A caring father, a selfless doctor… whatever is best for the community as a whole” She spoke quicker as she continued to tap on her knuckles in a fixed pattern as a way to distract her body from going into a loop of fear, the circle that could not be broken.  
“You… you care for the individuals. Your morality is way different than mine, and that is fine… or would be fine…” Even though she tried to consider her words– attempting to structure her sentences in a proper way- Chloe simply didn’t trust herself enough to not break down if she paused.  
“The problem is that you choose… decide the value of lives based on your emotions. On your attachments”

While Max had decided to let her talk, wanting to hear what her twining mind had kept from her, the salient words hit a sensitive string. A rugged knife clumsily cutting away through the wires in her brain.

“That’s not true…” Max whispered, not wanting to be heard, not wanting to have any effect on what Chloe was about to say, but the anger she felt stirring clouded her mind, and however much it pained Chloe to continue, Max felt as if she was accepting punches with arms tied behind her back and hearing her friend saying these damned lies as a statement, as a matter of fact, left dirt on her tired being.

“You saved me… and I will always be grateful, but it fucked me up, Max… so many people died because you felt I was more important than so many others, but the problem is… I’m not. I am only that important to you, and now it’s… now the value you see in me has exceeded my being and… I am terrified. I’m scared” It was the shaking in her voice that made Max curl her fist in indecisiveness, wanting to stop her. For both their sakes. Yet, she also wanted her to keep going and see what would happen. This had turned into the very subject that they had agreed not to discuss and however fucked up it was, it was interesting to just shatter the can of worms and test their own vulnerable and uncovered durability.  
  
“Not only by the fact that I feel like I have to live up to everything that has been placed on me. I have to be just as important as hundreds of people, and that’s not… it’s impossible. It’s driving me crazy. But I am also scared of something else…” Max no longer looked at her, but only saw the words written in her vision, sticking to her eyelids and screaming at her.  
“I am scared of you”

A single crack opened up, allowing the pent up feeling to flow through, compelling Max to curl her fist and slam it onto the bed. It was the truth she had feared to such an extent that she had tried to repress it. Max no longer considered about intertwining to prevent Chloe from driving herself into a panic attack. For the first time ever, she wanted it. Not for any sadistic reasons, but only in order to drive her so far into a corner that she would be forced to reveal every piece of hidden thoughts she might be having until there was nothing left.  
“You’re scared of me? You’re scared that I’ll summon a million of tiny tornadoes to attack you?!” Max felt so absolutely shitty, hearing those words from the person she adored the most. She didn’t want to yell, she didn’t want to shine a light on something that would escape and break the foundation of their bond that now seemed so painstakingly fragile.

While Chloe reacted, she showed no hint of anger but was in fact prepared for the hostility coming from her friend and kept tapping her knuckles, now repeating the pattern.  
“I am not scared of you as a person. You’re the one I feel the most comfortable with in the world, but- I’m so sorry, but I am scared of what you’re capable of. Never mind the fact that it freaks me the fuck out that you can do something that… that fucking breaks just… just all the laws of physics, but when you do, you have to be absolutely certain that you’re making the right choice, but because you’re a person with your own sense of justice and moral, then of course you can’t be sure- and it’s not your fault, but it makes sense to-“ a sudden break entered for a split second.  
“to help you to use your powers with the consideration of the best possible outcome”

 

The words that slipped from her cold lips were alien and it clicked a wire into place, making Max shudder as the very beat of her heart pushed her up from the bed. A hard-hitting thought passed her mind, but she threw it away in a fury with the last shred of self-control she had. It had all happened too fast, going from carefree to absolutely emotional and defensive.  

“Why are you saying this?! You think it’s pleasant for me to be the one that has to deal with these shit ton of choices?! Every time something bad happens, every fucking time, I feel guilty because I keep wondering if I could have done something to prevent it. Every tear shed, every drop of blood spilled… it’s on me. Is that it? It’s my responsibility to keep everyone happy?” Turning her head, Max looked at the back of Chloe, holding back the urge to demand her to turn around and look at her. She wanted to analyze her expressions, see if her heart was as cold as the breath she used to fling her words around.

“Of course not. But if you are-“ Just as Chloe tried to respond, another thought passed Max’s mind, one she could use to shatter whatever argument her friend was trying to make.

“I thought we agreed that I shouldn’t even use my powers! You suggested that- hell, you fucking begged for it and I acceded because I thought it would be for the best, and because it would make you happy. The only reason I’ve done it in the last six months is because I’ve been fucking forced by Ethan!” It was the last shred of energy at the bottom of her tired body that had been driven up to the surface in order to defend herself. It was a position she had been accustomed to, but not when the attacker was her best friend. Not when it pained her heart to even raise her voice.

“I know, but the fact that you can be forced means… it means that we still have to make sure you use them right” Chloe, the frightened attacker, was everything but aggressive. But it didn’t make it any better. The basis of her words were not hastily created and flung out without a care. They were audible thoughts that had been in the back of her head for longer than Max would even dare to think about. It tore her apart too quickly and too forceful when the only conclusion, the only place the light would shine and the only words the angel would sing, was the suggestion that Max had made the wrong choice those months ago.

“Goddammit! So you think I made the wrong choice up at the lighthouse? You wanted me to just go ahead and sacrifice you, because something out of my control was- wait, fuck” However, amidst her words, a thought reoccurred, but this time, was not to be ignored.  
“You mean ‘we’ by you and I, right?” Her voice sunk down into the depth of her stomach her expression turning cold and serious with the last string connecting her world about to break when Chloe hesitated.    
“Chloe, I’ll calm down and listen to everything you have to say right now if you tell me that this has nothing to do with Ethan. I’m honestly sorry for even… for even suggesting it, but… you’re saying things that- that he has mentioned before” The very thought sickened her with her skin crawling when Chloe took a shaky breath. Her eyes began watering when she sensed all of her trust beginning to crumble.

“I… I’ve met Ethan a long time before all this”

It was not right. Everything trembled and Max could only shake her head.  
“Chloe, please… stop. I know you’re lying, so please, just…” Her body locked up. She couldn’t even produce a tear from her red eyes and her lungs failed to grasp for air, an overwhelming sense of suffocation.

“I was the one who told him about you and your powers” Still like a stature, her ugly words sliding across the skin and her vision turning dark and murky.

“Why?” Only a sob that stole all of her strength and watered away her psyche. 

“I’m not working with him. I had nothing to do with all the messed up shit he has put you in” An awaited raise of her voice, a precipitate jerk of her head to verify how Chloe knew she was walking on thin ice.

“Then what? Why do you know Ethan?... who is he?” A vociferous whisper. 

If there was any explanation that wouldn’t result in a broken girl, cursing her best friend to hell, seemed improbable. Spirits fell, tension arose and a heart stopped when Chloe turned around, her face smudged black from the mascara running down from under her crying eyes, her virtually white lips quivering with justified guilt creeping from her subdued body.  


	32. Tiffany

_She’s your best friend. She has stuck with you for so long…_  
  
Sitting on a bed of white nails puncturing her skin, her eyes were dead and her entire body numb. She felt like laughing, felt like punching herself in the face just for some sort of twisted comedic effect. All she was left with was her mind begging her to remind herself of who was in front of her.

_You love her._

Stuck in the moment, awaiting just a few words to put everything right. The punchline of the awful joke that had been dragged out to finally make the crying girl wipe away her tears, sew together her cursed lips and lie down with a silent smile.

“You need to know that I’m telling this to you now, because…” Chloe finally spoke in a drowned voice, but the second she did, something ran up Max’s throat to stop her from uttering a single bullshit excuse.

“Right after we had sex for the first time, yeah, I think I know why you’re only telling me this now” Biting her teeth together, Max ripped her eyes away from the girl to not get sympathy for her as she was looking like a wounded animal, beseeching for someone to stop the pain.  
“Sorry,” she whispered under her breath, hoping the final sliver of trust she had left would prove to be worthwhile. For a moment, she looked at the dull painting hanging on the ill-favored wall, kept in a frame behind dusted glass. It was meant to depict a waterfall leading down to a stream with critters, but it was all, in reality, just mindless colors splattered on a canvas in the blind hope of making something beautiful.

“You’re right to be mad, Max. I deserve it, but I can’t get through this if you won’t let me explain myself…” She pounded herself lightly on the chest three times, dragged her thumb down the middle of her black shirt and waited.  
When a few seconds had passed without a twitch, without a helping hand or a devilish yell, she continued. “It had nothing to do with sex that I decided to tell you. It was when you were lying under me, looking up at me with so much trust. Looking at me like I could do no wrong. You made my heart drop. My body shook and I felt like a failure. That’s what I told you to remind me to tell you- I don’t want to be the deceiving comfort. It was necessary that I told you, but I couldn’t resist having one final moment with you, in case you’d…” Her breathing sped up, her pupils widening with her eyes shot open. “Don’t leave me” She whimpered in such desperation in an explosion of restrained panic.

“I will give you one chance, Chloe” She spoke through her grinding teeth, trying so helplessly hard to keep down her anger that replaced the quickly departing trust.  
“Without cutting corners and without veering, tell me how you met Ethan and who he is” While assertively making the clear command, Max pushed herself off from the bed dug her toes into the carpet, quickly trying to skim the area to find her shirt in case she needed to storm out.

Chloe, hovering around on the bed unable to get comfortable and now having to angle her head upwards to look at her back-faced friend, felt even more frightened and knew she had to choose her next words carefully to not get tossed aside like some piece of trash.  
“After what happened with Arcadia Bay, I-“ she stumbled, her words choking on themselves in sheer terror, her body panicking with the result of vertigo. She shook her hands vehemently and took a shaky breath. “Sorry, I’m… when you went home with your parents, I had no idea what to do with myself. I couldn’t eat or sleep, I just walked around in circles, my mind completely gone” Stuck in the hopeless past with the fragile present grabbing her by every limp, she became torn.  
“Alfred got really fucking concerned for me and after some time of me denying his constant offers, he eventually forced me to see a psychologist. If nothing else, at least I could get some pills that would make me feel something other than agony” It was no lie that she was fishing for sympathy, but every worth held its own and were pitifully true.  
“I was just sitting on those shitty chairs in the waiting room, watching a kid placing fucking Legos on top of each other with his mother reading a magazine with such a bored expression. Like she had been there a million of times, reading that same magazine…” Chloe fleshed out her story as she began seeing the innocent images forming inside of her broken head.  
“Then someone calls my name and I stand up… a man with bags under his red eyes, badly combed hair and just the worst breath I’ve ever smelled. He was wearing one of those coats with a name tag clipped on. He worked there. This scum-looking guy was my psychologist… It was Ethan” As she curled further within herself, the look in her eyes became an apparitional hand reaching out. There was no air, no light. In the struggle of stress, a road emerged.

“I- your fucking number… I should’ve have known” Max whispered as thoughts crept into her mind, forming an intimidating pattern.

“My number? What are you talking about?” Chloe shuffled on the bed one more time, running the back of her hands across the bedsheet to warm them, keeping a confused stare on the girl walking in the tiny cage.

“At the mall. Goddammit… he said all the numbers he had on his phone, the ones he wanted me to call, were from patients he had. I saw your name in the contact list, but I just thought… I thought it was some kind of trick, I didn’t even want to think about it” She forced her head down, letting the bangs hide her face.  
“It was the fucking puzzle piece that I thought had no place…” Only when a car drove by from the outside, did she become aware of her surroundings. Became aware of the girl behind her, of the objects circling around her and her very own situation in which she was forced into. 

“I’m…” She hesitated, but eventually turned around, her vision finally clear, capable of seeing her frightened friend so painstakingly clearly and compelled to remember every cause and effect.  
“It was the most important piece. I should have known… it makes perfect sense that Ethan knows so much about me, because you…” She opened her eyes wide and let herself get overtaken by every thought and every backward step that had led her here.  
“You told him”  
The numbness of her body through the tranquilizing serum in her veins allowed the silence from both of the girls. Chloe fighting to keep her head up, to not break the line in their connected vision.  
“You are the reason I’m in this shit and you didn’t even… talk to me about it”

It was all too clear, all too easy to be swallowed by the pit, but Chloe didn’t stop fighting as she knew there was a chance to rectify herself. She didn’t deserve to get tossed aside for a single mistake.  
“Max… I thought I could make you happy, I didn’t intend for-“

At the moment she began speaking, Max stopped her, not wanting her to apologize, not wanting her to give her the chance of forgiveness just yet.  
“So what happened? How did it go from meeting Ethan, to him ruining my life?” She needed every drop of information before wanting to decide on her actions.

“I trusted him…” Chloe gave in and looked down on the white sheets she was sitting on, no longer dressing herself up to look good, only wanting to rip apart her skin down to the bone and tell Max everything to let her judge her based on nothing but the truth.  
“I was scared and… just all over the place. I needed something to fix the fucking mess and somehow he just looked right through me. I told him about what happened with my parents, we started talking about the tornado and he started asking these questions that began centering around the supernatural… and because he has time travel powers as well, I guess he just… he just figured it out” Nothing changed.

“Okay, Chloe. The only reason I’m not fucking pissed off right now, is because I’m trying to figure out how to deal with this and I need everything you can tell me” Nothing moved.  
“It doesn’t really matter how he found out about me, but I need to know… what was the plan? You said you didn’t have anything to do with all the shit he has done” Nothing retaliated.

“We talked over a couple of months… when he told me about his powers, I don’t know… something clicked. He had to be the one who could help you. The plan was just to… to talk to you, really. Like he did with me. I knew that he would push you a little, but I thought it was necessary to… make you realize…” Nothing helped.

“Realize what? That I’m dangerous? That I need to look at the world the same way you do? That all that shit about morality is just a distraction when what you really mean, is that you blame me for killing all those people? You blame me for your parent's deaths… you blame me for the death of MY friends?!” Everything stayed the same.

“YES MAX!” She felt ashamed that she’d stayed in her head in the same place for so long.    
“I BLAMED YOU! BUT-“ She was afraid to change.  
“But I don’t anymore. It just seemed like you were this… god. Like… not only did you have the power to change fate, but you were also so mentally strong. I thought nothing could touch you and it pissed me off. I was going crazy, I didn’t sleep for three days after what happened until I just passed out during a panic attack. I made the assumption that you weren’t feeling the same way. It was just difficult for me to… always have to look up when I wanted to watch you” But it was not an excuse to stay.  
“But you’re a person… all that shit that I felt… all that pain and struggle… you must have felt that tenfold”

Once more, Max froze her in place and didn’t let her move forward, didn’t allow her to take a satisfying breath to let out the words tickling the back of her throat. She barely acknowledged Chloe’s frustration and showed it with her monotone voice.  
“So when did you stop working with him? What pushed you over the edge and made you realize that Ethan mentally torturing you friend, wasn’t a good way to go?”

“I can’t…” Trying to take a cold breath that became nothing more than a staggering gasp.  
“I’m sorry” How her body worked with her mind to benumb her, lock her up and strangle her. If it was any other time, any other person, she would have given up. However, whether it was to make things right, to wallow in the slim chance of forgiveness or to simply help her friend understand, she continued in pain.  “When I took that photo of you… where I said I saw your name in the stars. I took that photo because Ethan said it would be a good idea to have a chance for you to go back before he would begin the… session or whatever, in case something would go wrong” Chloe listened to the cars occasionally driving by from the outside to remind herself of the outside world.  
“I don’t know what happened after that since you traveled back in time, but when I saw you in shock, with tears in your eyes... then it became clear something was wrong. That’s when I began fighting against him” She ground her teeth together, either in anger for what Ethan had done or in frustration from finally coming clean. However, neither scenario had any effect on Max, as she stared blankly ahead with her eyes moving slowly around as if she was following the brush on a canvas.

“Fuck…” It came back again.  
“Ethan had planned all this out…” Flashes of the past slowly but surely cast a shadow over her stability.  
“He planned every fucking step!” It became another ball to juggle and Max was already beginning to lose her grip and stumble, her emotions going from one side of her brain to the other, leaving a trail of burning sulfur during the travel.

Max’s words quickly and visibly created a reaction from Chloe who pulled herself a little closer, the strap of her black shirt falling away from her shoulder and down her arm.  
“What? How?” She reached her hand up to her face to remove her bangs, but the moment she touched her forehead, she felt the amount of sweat running down her, her hair sticking to her skin like glue and while she had stopped her crying a few moments back unnoticeably, she still felt her makeup smudged all over her face.

“Right after I came back through that star photo, he walked past us and wrote something down on a notepad. He knew exactly when to be there and exactly what would happen… he knew I would kill his brother in that timeline and everything… and as I know now, it wasn’t even his brother. He acted like he was freaking out and about to shoot me, but…” Chloe listened carefully to Max explaining, feeling a fleeting sense of solace from the few words that weren’t hostile, yet the end word tilted as a ramp going down, only to shoot back up.  
“Why did he act like he didn’t know you? WHY DID YOU ACT LIKE YOU DIDN’T KNOW HIM?!” It happened so suddenly, but this was the yell instigating the anger that Chloe had feared would show its teeth and couldn’t be held down.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know what to do! I don’t know why he didn’t tell you all that. I honestly don’t know. And  
I just… I couldn’t tell you. Telling you, would… would make you think all sorts of shit about me, resent me, and the fact that I was responsible for your misery would be cut in stone and I couldn’t accept that. I wanted to fix it… I wanted you to love me” It was like needles poking the inside of her organs as Chloe pinched between her eyes and took a breath through her teeth, feeling the heavens raining down on her and washing her away into a puddle of shame.

“So every time we talked about… what about on the roof then? Did you lie when you said he wasn’t there? That you hadn’t seen him?”

“He was there, yeah. We just talked and… I tried to convince him to stop what he was doing. I told him that I was no longer a part of this and that I’d kill him if he ever touched you… he told me something about having bigger reasons than fear for continuing and that he would leave me alone if I didn’t get in the way” Every time a hint of tiredness struck Chloe, her body reacted by jolting her heart around and pumping excess blood through to her limbs, indicating how her body was in an alarming state. 

“What about all the suicide shit you talked about? Was that a lie?” However, when Max felt the same sleep-deprived tiredness overcome her, her body responded by letting her limbs get heavy and her eyelids drift down. It had been too many emotions in the span of a few minutes to comprehend in one go, as they were now waiting in line to have their turn.

“That was real. I did go up on the roof to… think things through and kinda see if… if I would have some sort of epiphany when I was standing on the edge. Ethan just… I don’t know, he somehow knew what was up, maybe he tracked our calls, maybe he followed me, I’m not sure, but he called me that night and said he would show up” Chloe felt a bulge in her throat, the walls closing in on her, her body reaching an unfamiliar state with an unsurfaced panic attack buried underneath her prioritized task of giving her dear what she desired while also stepping lightly to not break her in these strangling words.

“I can’t even begin to take all of this in… you lied to me…” Sucking in her stomach to hold in the acid, Max repeatedly ran the nail of her index finger over her wrist, adding more pressure each time to watch her skin turning red.

“Max, I never thought it would end up like this, but don’t let Ethan win. He wants you to lose your mind, so he can achieve his goals through you” So small she felt, her fear, her anger, and the burning straw in her hand about to turn into ashes. Questions without answers, meaningless structures on thin platforms, a weight to be balanced but to no use. 

“And what are his goals?! I know you thought he was just an angel that could save me, but if he wins, then what happens?!”  
  
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure. He wants you to realize something, change who you are…”  
  
“Exactly like you do?! You’ve put me in this situation… you’re the reason I have to fear for my life… and for what? Because you think I’m a fuck-up?! You think it’s so easy! You can’t even imagine what hell my life has been after I got these powers! And now you’re saying it’s my fault that YOU’RE miserable!” All her efforts laughed her at her, feeling everything she had done and everything she believed in, the few things that had any bearings all whispering their goodbyes, leaving her in a shell of lost hope.

Chloe shook her head once, abruptly adjusted her position on the bed, her lips curling back as she finally saw what was happening.  
“You’re not fucking listening, Max! You’re losing your goddamn mind! It was for your sake I did all that! I fucked up, yes, but I tried to help you!” It was a yell of desperation as she realized she was losing her, she was hovering out of her reach where he hands could no longer extend to grab her. 

“Save it. Actually, fuck it. Go fuck all that, ‘I did it for you’ bullshit” Soot on her hands, a tainted mind and an exhausted heart. They could no longer withstand the storm, this was the end of the line and there was nothing more to receive, only shit to throw.  
“You keep shoving your own bad choices, your own fuck-ups, on me. Like… you think you’re such a good person because everything bad you do, you just delude yourself into believing you have my best interests in mind, when in reality, you’re just a pathetic beggar” Max took the last glance at Chloe, no longer seeing the girl she respected.

“I don’t want you to say shit like that, Max… I really don’t like it” A tear effortlessly pushed out from her eye as she was quick to taste the saltiness on her trembling lips. 

“Then get out!” She closed her eyes.

“What?! You want me to leave?!” She didn’t blink.

“Get out of the bed, get out of this room, and get out of my life!” She didn’t understand.  
The fire in her stomach forced her to turn around, all of her fingers becoming claws to reach out at the sullied painting hanging by a string on the single nail on the wall, grabbed the frame tightly, all her insecurities and all the empty space, replaced by fury for no longer having anything she could trust, for all the times she smiled, she damned her innocence, for all the times she cried, she damned her weakness, for all the times she loved, she damned her heart.  
“YOU NARCISSITIC BITCH!”  Max screamed with a whimper and ripped the painting from the wall and hurled it with every drop of resentment in her stomach, sending it flying through the darkened room and with complete hatred hit Chloe on the top of her left arm, the glass shattering on impact and the frame spinning on Chloe’s arm and continued, hitting the bottom of the wall behind her and falling to the ground.

“What the fuck?!” Chloe cried out, jolting her body in a random direction as a delayed reaction, instinctively covering her head with her arms.

“Kate, Warren, Victoria… I sacrificed all of them for you! You OWE me your life! But instead, you’re blaming me for FUCKING UP your life!” Max stomped the floor, all the wires in her brain finally snapping, her eyes immensely red and every inch of her burning body shaking furiously.  
“I’ll be gone in the evening! My dad will pick me up and then all your problems will be gone and I will never think about you again! When Ethan has fucking killed you, and you’re lying dead on the sidewalk, I’ll be the first to know and the last one to care!” The tiniest part at the back of her head damned her for saying such blatant lies, but the trigger was pulled in a delusion, the bullet left her mouth too quickly to stop it in the air.

Feeling the pain shooting up her arm, Chloe snarled and grabbed the bed sheet furiously, her heart beating away with such an intensity that her body jumped off from the bed and placed her feet on the floor with a stomp, standing precariously a few feet away, staring at Max with pupils as tiny as her endured self-control. “Are you fucking kidding me?! You’re freaking out, Max! Listen to what you’re saying! Sit down and think rational for one fucking second!” She yelled as quickly as her mouth could form the words, everything had gone to shit and all the barriers had been disintegrated. Nothing holding them back from lashing out at each other at the peak of rage.

Max took one step closer, curled her fist with no preparation as the filter from her brain to her dry lips had been destroyed, leaving a clear path to strike the most vulnerable spot when she felt all of her control bursting.  
“This is the kinda shit that you’ve always done! This is the fucking reason YOUR PARENTS WILL NEVER BE PROUD OF YOU! THEY’RE DEAD ANYWAY! YOU ONLY BELIEVE IN GOD BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT THEY’RE GON-“ her demonic screams were abruptly halted when Chloe had swung her right hand up and with the hatred of the devil itself smacked Max vigorously on the side of her face, sending a strident sound throughout the dark room, instantly silencing the eye of the heart-shattering torment.

Max stumbled to the side, losing balance and her body hitting the wall behind her with Chloe still standing tremblingly before her, her entire being screaming.  
“FUCK YOU! YOU’RE WILLING TO THROW ALL THIS AWAY WHEN I’M TRYING MY BEST TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT I’VE DONE?! YOU’RE PSYCHOTIC, MAX! YOU DON’T DESERVE WHAT I’M TRYING TO GIVE YOU!”   
It was like a nightmare that had to be killed right at this very second.  
“I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!” A broken voice from a shattered soul, all these emotions and memories centering in one spot only to slit the throat of hope.

When Chloe stopped her screaming and as soon as the final drop of spit broke on the floor, the most painful silence entered, only occasionally interrupted by a sob from the girl leaning against the wall, hiding her face. Everything dropped in an instant, Chloe shooting her eyes open when she felt the pain on the palm she had used to slap the crying girl with, utterly terrified and ashamed. Her murky mind cleared and revealed the outcome of the clash. 

“I need to get out of here…”  
Max cried out with such a quiet voice that it was barely perceptible as she stumbled alongside the wall, not daring to look anywhere but the ground.  
“I’m sorry, Chloe”

The final words before the curtain dropped when Max silently opened the door and left the fey room, shirtless and aimless. Every bone in Chloe’s body had become stunned, her breath was denied and her tears falling effortlessly. She tried to raise her hand to reach out for her, but a cutting sickness shot through her body and paralyzed her. Now left alone, confused, scared, and heartbroken.  
The world had won.  
The lovers were defeated.


	33. Periphery of Realism

It was a funny look the hotel receptionist gave Max when he watched her walk out of the entrance, only wearing her pants and a blue bra. It was funny feeling that hit Max when the cold wind had skated over her torso. It was a funny thought that Max had when she thought about jumping out in front of a car.  
Waddling away on the sidewalk in the middle of the night, she embraced the darkness, immensely glad that she could barely see anything, giving her a chance to collect her scattered thoughts.

_I’m losing it. I fucked up. I’m losing it._

Aimless and with no destination, she began following the red dots in her vision that began taking shape whenever she blinked. Her heart was racing, not only sensing that something had clicked into the wrong place in her brain but physically feeling it was well. It was if wires had been ripped apart and then rearranged incorrectly, so every time a thought was to be created, the electricity never made a full circuit and therefore it shot around in her brain, bouncing off the walls, never ceasing, just sparking random nerve impulses. Feeling a cold wetness on her chin, unsure if it were tears or snot, Max shook her head to get it away, but still felt the fluid lashing onto her.

_I said awful things… but she deserved it! I’m not a bad person, I’m not. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I only had two seconds to think about it! How could I look at her and tell her that I would sacrifice her? But that’s what she wanted! Not even Chloe is happy that I saved her! So what’s the point? Did I do it for myself? Am I a bad person?!_

When she heard a sound, a door closing, a motorcycle starting, she got blown out of her mind.

_I’m in danger. Danger. Behind!_

Max jolted her body to the side, nearly tripping over her own feet when she felt a cold piece of metal strike her naked back, but there was nothing. No one around. Paranoia had skipped the step of creeping in and had lashed onto the fast moving hysteria crippling her.

_Fuck! I’m losing it. I fucked up. I’m losing it. I killed hundreds of people. I killed babies. I killed parents of those babies. I deserve this. I deserve worse than this. I deserve to die. Even Chloe agrees. I’m dangerous. I’ve caused so much pain, so why am I still a human?_

She forcefully whipped her hand up to her face to remove the fluid on her chin, but as she began rubbing, it only seemed to spread on her face. 

_I need Mom! Where is she?!_

She dragged her bare feet across the ground, the rugged pavement scratching the skin under her sensitive foot.

“MOM!” Max screamed as every nerve in her body broke, leather clinging to her skin as she curled her first and began running.  
  
_I lost her! Where did she go?!_

While taking quick breaths, the cold hit her even harder in the momentum. She began looking from side to side in a fixed pattern, surrounded by streets signs, houses, a road with no cars, and a world without people.

_There’s something stuck in my teeth. Oh God, I can’t get it out! I’ll get an infection!_

Stuck in something worse than a panic attack, something that triggered her insanity when her whole world felt unsteady, the ground underneath her unstable, and the open space closing in. She swung her head to the side and instantly stopped in her tracks. Behind a line of hedges to her right, she saw a light materialize from a window. A large house. A home.

“I’m here!” She gasped as she frantically looked at the ground.  
“FUCK!” She spat out, kneeled down quickly to grab a small rock underneath the hedge, everything burning, everything freezing as she scratched the edge of the stone, pulled back her arm, and then hurled the stone towards the source of the light. In her disordered vision, she only managed to hit the side of the wall, but the sound the stone made hitting the bricks was enough for her twitch her shoulder in shock as she looked around once more to see if anyone had seen her despicable actions.

_No, it doesn’t just happen like this. One thing can’t trigger mental illness. You’ve read about this! Is it a time vision?_

Max forced her body to lock up for a single, controlled moment in her thoughts.

_A person does not simply snap and go into a state of permanent insanity or psychosis after a single traumatic event. That’s what it said._

Yet, in the attempt to convince herself she still had a grip on reality, she heard someone calling out to her. It wasn’t a sound, nor a noise, but more like a poking in the inside of her ear, prompting her to turn her head to the left as she saw the silhouette of a woman taking slow steps away from her.

_It’s because I’m not insane. It’s real. I know what is real._

Her breath calmed and her heartbeat slowed as she began pulling her body towards the shadowy figure in an attempt to catch up. She extended her hand, feeling a shield of warmth being created around her skin as she spoke. “Excuse me?” She blinked once, only once, and trees had suddenly gathered around her, the sidewalk had been replaced by soft dirt covered in leaves that muddied her bare feet, all the streetlights were gone, all the signs and houses. All having turned into a forest. While it was still night, it was no longer difficult to see her surroundings in the dark. While all this and that had changed, the woman was still walking ahead of her, but it could now be seen that she wasn’t a three-dimensional shadow, she was simply wearing a long black coat, covering the entirety of her body with only her brown hair popping up. She had moved further away but still moved in the same, slow pace. Without even giving a thought to her environment Max gave chase once more but instantly realized that it wasn’t the woman moving further away, it was the landscape ahead of her. It stretched out right before her eyes, simply carrying the woman away, and the faster Max ran, the quicker the landscape stretched.

“Stop it! I need to talk to my mom!”

It frightened her that every step she took, only brought her further away from her mother as if the world was moving too fast for her body to keep up. However, an idea suddenly popped into her head. She could simply do what she had always done, what had always worked out in her favor. Rewind time.  
Max sighed, feeling glad she thought about the power which she controlled and exhaled deeply with content as she raised her right arm and stared death ahead. The wind began howling in rewind, a few leaves were lifted from the ground up to their tree homes and her mother began walking backward, closing the distance between them, with Max not even having to take a single step. It was a nice feeling that rushed through her body as time rewound as if feathers were caressing her skin. Even when she lowered her hand, the pleasurable feeling never left, making Max feel somewhat giddy while now being within reach of her mother. She took a step forward, her surroundings exceptionally more colorful than before, the muddy ground now being an engaging dirt road. She began licking her gums as she felt something had become stuck between her two front teeth.

_What is that? It’s bugging me…_

Max tried her best to ignore it as she was closing in on her mother who had stopped walking altogether, but every step she took, the sensation of a piece of metal stuck in her teeth worsened.

_Goddammit! I need to get it out. My stomach kinda hurts too…_

She began swirling her tongue around in her mouth, then pressed it firmly against the back of her teeth but it only sent a pain through her gums as the item were poking a few sensitive nerves.

_I can’t get it out! It’ll cause an infection!_

Her uvula began trembling in her mouth and every sense focused on that very sensation as she was now only a few feet away from her mother.

_Shit shit shit!_

She extended her arm, took one last step and graced the fabric of the long, black coat but in the very moment, the item stuck in her teeth began moving deeper within her sore gums, causing such an intense pain that she was forced to her knees with a gasp.

_What is that?! I NEED TO GET IT OUT!_

Closing her eyes shut, Max swung her right hand up to her mouth and with the use of her fingernail, separated the gap in her front teeth and pressed it in between.

_I CAN FEEL IT IN MY TEETH!_

Loud swooshing noises ran through her arms as she frantically began scratching the bottom of her gums in sheer panic. The gap became wider, the nail digging deeper and when her body twitched, the nail was forced upwards and cut through the flesh, hitting a nerve. It sent a shock through her body, but she was determined to get the item out and with shaky movements continued to wedge the nail around in her mouth. The metallic taste of blood began spreading on her tongue, the cold pain in her stomach getting fiercer.

_Need to to to get out!_

In a vivid jolt, Max retracted her hand and stuck out her tongue while making gurgling noises and moving her mouth in weird positions in a desperate attempt to get out whatever had become stuck. The blood colored her teeth red, leaves began falling down on the back of her hunched body with rapidly increasing weight. Her eyes began pushing from the inside of her closed eyelids, feeling as if they would pop out at any second. Her heart cracked her chest with its beats, sounding like a hundred guns being fired at the same time. The wind became stronger, the trees beginning to crack and when she felt her body being lifted from the ground, she shot her eyes open.

“ETHAN!” She yelled with water charging out of her throat, just as time seemed to settle and all the sounds, the wind, and the pain stopped simultaneously. Only blackness before her, not even her own trembling body was visible.  
“It’s him! He knows what is going on. Every second is his. The photo of the stars was his idea so he could force me to rewind. The pills he gave Chloe was to make her unstable when he knew she’d stop taking them after she learned of his true nature. The guy Chloe fought in the diner was all a set-up to test my failing courage. The choices I made on the computer, I was meant to fail to burn it into my brain. He knew I wouldn’t break my own wrist. The way he shot Chloe out of nowhere at the mall, then forced me to rewind again. He took notes. The files that said he had a paralyzed right arm… Chloe shot him in the shoulder. The right shoulder. The way he said that Chloe wasn’t real, just a manifestation of my crazy mind… The suicide attempt, Tiffany and Ted, the sex, the fight, my breaths and my tears. This very moment… all a part of his plan. I am walking on a road that I cannot escape. Stuck in a life that isn’t mine and there’s no way out, no turning back. This is what life has become and I’M STUCK!”

But then a whisper caressed her bare skin, touched her sensitive places and told her in the sweetest voice… “She was never a game. Never a wheel to spin, not a question to be answered. Nothing that revolves around me, shall be flung towards her in an attempt to showcase my weakness and crack my makeshift wall. She was never a tool. Never a speaker to broadcast cold whispers, not a scream to frighten a ghost. Nothing that I will become, will leave a trail of desperation towards the feet of her and nothing that I have been, will be looked upon and thereby sense a hint of my fragile love for her. She was never strong, just accustomed to fear. If the only place to hide the freak of nature that is my dear, is deep within the cages of a pained mind, then I shall burn my skin and melt my organs to make room for her. Thus, she was never alone” It made her smile.  
A damned thing to do when she felt a layer of her skin, peeling off and sliding down her back, moving around on her body and touched her hand. A snake-like creature slithered out in front of her, but it was all too blurry and all too dark to make out in details. She was stuck in the inside of a huge black box with no light. Followed by the snake, with steps as loud as thunder, came a giant flock of tiny white mice. They kept crawling in from the side of her vision, but she couldn’t turn her head to see. She couldn’t close her eyes to disappear. All these white mice, stood as a group of hundreds next to the intimidating snake, making short hissing sounds. With juddering movements, it turned its body, muscle by muscle. Its jaw dislocated as it opened its mouth wide, wider than possible, about the devour all the confused mice in one go.

 _One. Stop the snake._  
_Two. Let the snake eat the mice._  
_Three._  
_Three._  
_There is no three.  
_

Without a moment’s hesitation, the snake made a dive with its gaping mouth before it evaporated into thin air, as did the mice. As did her fear.  
Flickering lights sang out to her as sweat dripped from her forehead. Her hands were in her soggy hair and her knees on the surface of space. The gentle melodies overcame her, bathed her in a sickly sense of death. Her body was freezing, her lips trembling as she swallowed the redness in her mouth. Her heart stopped. For a single moment, she was one of them.

“Max!”   
“Are you alright?!”  
“Can you hear me?”  
“Come on! Snap out of it!”  
“Holy shit, is that blood?!”

“Tell me where I am”

“You’re… in the forest next to the hotel”  
“You screamed”  
“I came running”

“Am I dead?”

“No! You’re here! You’re next to me! Can’t you see me?!”  
“Max, come on! You’re having some sort of breakdown, but it’s all in your head. You’re real”  
“Please snap out of it! It’s me!”  
"Chloe!"


	34. The Bolt Slides Away

Her heart escaped to her head, replaced her brain and made a heavy thumb that created a burst of colors in her vision as she saw a face. One more beat and sounds reemerged. The blur sharpened as she saw her hands on the dirt underneath her. She looked up slowly to see the trees with their leaves blowing in the wind.

“Are you… are you okay?” The nervous voice came from her left, but the words were difficult to pick up.

She bent her fingers and opened her mouth in silence. Her mind empty, her nerves not responding, making her feel as if she was floating. Her entire body insensate, her eyes flickering from right to left, left to right. She knew where she was, she remembered seeing her mother as clearly as she remembered the fight with Chloe and both seemed equally real.

“I brought your shirt”

As those meaningless words were used in the short sentence with an ambivalent voice, everything became dark. Visually, everything seemed clear. The sun had just peeked in over the horizon, the leaves playfully flew in the wind, but it was not the surroundings darkening, it was her inclination. Every corner so pointless, every light so dull. The next hour blurred into a single moment. Chloe giving Max her shirt, asking her various questions, ranging from the blood to her parents. Chloe grabbing her arm and leading her to the hotel, but asking her to stay outside in front of the entrance. Chloe talking to the receptionist and handing him some dollar bills. Chloe gesturing for Max to get inside the car, as she does if only to sit down. Chloe starting the car and beginning to drive. Chloe keeping down a yawn, even though the heavy bags under her eyes reveals the amount of sleep deprived she had become. Chloe speaking in the most careful voice she was able to. “Do you want some food?”

Max blinked for what felt like the first time in hours. As if she had just ripped herself free from a long state of hypnagogia, not awake, not asleep. Stuck in the transition. She found herself leaning against the window of the car, having watched but not observed the passing houses and buildings. Every thought had become forgotten and she felt like nothing more than a mindless creature in a meaningless world. Chloe’s questions bounced a little around in her head and she knew she hadn’t eaten in a long time, but her body felt no hunger.

“There’s a Meijer just around the corner. Want me to get you some snacks? I can buy a frozen pizza as well that we can heat when we get home?” In the absence of a response, Chloe spoke once more but felt as if she was just empty space. Unsure if it was because Max was mad at her, or because she was depressed, Chloe decided to not push her friend and accepted the lack of an answer.  
“Well, I’m pretty hungry, so I’ll just run in there, guns blazing, and be right back with some munchies and  maybe the cashiers wallet as well” She looked over at Max with a smile, but her gaze was far away and she hadn’t moved ever since they’d gotten in the car.  
“Right” her short-lasting smile retracted with a sigh as she turned to the left and drove into the parking space of the small Meijer. Feeling unworthy of opening her mouth, Chloe simply turned off the car, the keys jittering in her hand when she pulled them from the ignition and opened the door. A breeze could be heard entering but failed to be felt. Just as the blue-haired girl stepped out of the car, Max’s heart made a particular demanding beat as she felt a shiver shooting up her spine. The door closed with a quiet bang and in the very first second of being alone, fear struck the silent girl. Even though she felt her body urging her to follow her friend, she didn’t move. She couldn’t move. Even the slightest change, the tiniest adjustment of the atmosphere made her thoughts circle around one feeling and immediately she tried to distract herself with trivial thoughts, but to no avail. She now knew what fear really felt like and every chance the world got, it would remind her of that very feeling, slap her in the face over and over with the sole purpose of driving panic into her feeble center.

…

_Raisins. Raisins, raisins, raisins._

With the shopping basket glued to her hand, her eyes were eagerly scanning the shelves for the red package of raisins. With every step, her shoe stuck to the floor like old glue making a gross smacking sound every time she lifted her foot from the gray floor. Every time another person got within five feet of her, she pulled her body forward and away, trying to avoid any contact, verbally and physically. 

_God, why do I feel like a criminal? It’s like everyone’s out to get me. That old lady over there… she’ll launch herself at me and do some sort of… flying ninja kick or something. Fuck! I mean, raisins. I’m looking for raisins nothing more._

Chloe felt at unease at being in this unfamiliar and surprisingly small store, with unfamiliar people around her. The unfamiliar light above her and the unfamiliar life that had now become hers to keep. She knew it was lurking around her, trying to get inside of her head. She desperately tried to keep her focus on the various items of food she was looking for, as to not let the thought of her friend’s unstable mental health strangle her neck and curve stomp her just outside. Everything had changed, but everything needed to stay the same. Denial was the only mean of coping. Coping with the guilt of breaking her friend, coping with the danger to her life, coping with the fear of more fear.

_Raisins! There we are! Now you just need to kill yourself, and you’re golden. Crap, I mean… frozen pizza._

She sighed while letting the pack of raisins fall from her hand into the basket and continued to walk down the lit up aisle. Her body urged for the relief of letting her mind loose, to think the situation through so she could come up with a plan to fix it all, but the trepidation of dealing with the issue just had so much baggage with it. 

_Okay, only thing. Make Max happy. Good. Be there for her, show her you care about her and for the love of God, be gentle with her. Now… frozen pizza._

Her head did a twist, her feet a twirl and her eyes pinpointed her destination that had become the open-topped freezers. She planned her expedition to her goal as there were plenty of obstacles between her and the unhealthy food product. Three human guardians, one of them being a sales assistant, so he was the one to avoid at all cost. Furthermore, a young kid was opening and closing one of those glass fridges, so timing would be key if she were to pass. The last obstacle proved to be the biggest. Quite literally. A mountain of a man stood just under the sign reading Ready-to-Eat, spouting acid through his heavy breath from years of only dining on sugar drinks and potato chips, sweat on the back of his shirt, most likely from having walked into a store that didn’t provide an electric scooter at the entrance. So a high change of smelly and dangerous toxins surrounding him. It was a challenge, indeed, but her ravenous stomach convinced her the price was worth it.  
The choirs exploded in the background as Chloe took the first step. Thunderous violin strings adding to the tension as the air became dark with apprehension and a drop from the ceiling representing the heavy rain pouring down. A drum kick echoed around her as she took the next step, closing in on the sales assistant in the red shirt, a young fellow, evidently eager to help strangers to obtain some kind of human interaction through the course of his day. Knowing how to deal with people like that, Chloe yanked her head forward to let her rough bangs cover her eyes, pulled up her shoulders, pouted and rolled up her sleeves to reveal the tattoo on her arm, doing everything bodily possible to give off the signal that she had been in prison and would kick anybody’s ass who dared to even look at her.  
Time went by in slow-motion as confidently walked by him, seeing the enthusiastic boy look up with a smile that disappeared quicker than Vanilla Ice’s music career, and when he almost jumped out of the pants his mom ironed for him before he went to work, it became clear the first obstacle had been dealt with. The intensity rose as the cinematic music could still be heard powering through the store. She needed to change her tactics for the second obstacle. The kid looked too stupid to sense danger and his mom was standing far off in the corner, holding an expensive phone up to her giant earring-wearing earhole with moisturized hands and artificial nails. Chloe quickly considered simply kneeing the small child, confident no one would even notice, but the inevitable crying would present a problem. She watched the young boy, mindlessly opening and closing the fridge door out of pure boredom, waiting for his mom to get off the phone. Even though he was just a kid, he was blocking the way to the freezers in these narrow aisles and she had to get past him.  
Narrowing her eyes, Chloe began analyzing the pattern, the speed and the velocity, followed by adding numbers in her head that had no relevance to her situation at all. She took a step closer, the build-up starting, sweat permeating from her forehead as she licked her lips and tightened her closed fist.

_1… 2… 3……. 4… 5… GO!_

Just as the young boy closed the fridge door, Chloe majestically leaped forward with a suspense in time. The lack of oxygen in the entire world came to an all-time low as every single person were holding their breaths for this very moment… they waited anxiously.   
…  
and she stuck the landing!

Even though the adventurous girl was now on the other side, there was no time to catch her breath as the final challenge stared her in the face with its half-closed and completely dry eyes. The heavyset twenty-something man was standing at the very spot that would make it impossible for our blue-haired heroine to reap her reward. He had been standing there for an unknown amount of time, simply goggling the Ready-to-Eat meals, probably wondering whether to just get ten frozen pizzas, or stock up for the next few days and buy them all. This would prove to be her most difficult challenge yet. She had to collect all of her wits to craft a plan that had to be executed with perfect precision and timing. Once again, she narrowed her eyes and swallowed a ball of suspenseful spit, her heart beginning to pound eagerly in her chest when sensing the climax of her adventure. Taking a still breath, her plan had come together and she readied her body. This was it. No turning back. The deciding moment…

Just as she was about charge forward, the man sniffled, turned to the side and walked away. Silence filling the air with Chloe standing still, her face empty of expressions as the heavy man wobbled around until he was out of sight. The girl was still as a statue.

_Defeated is the monster!_

She cheered inside of her head as she curled her fist, celebrating her epic success and ready to reap the glorious reward. Being able to pick up some frozen pizza in peace. Her eyes glistered as looked down the freezer and gazed upon all the life-shortening treats and all she had to do now, was to pick one.

_Ew. Olives… pineapple? No, that’s… no. What does Max like? Pepperoni can’t go wrong. Throw in some ham, yes… wait. The only pizza with ham and pepperoni also has mushrooms on it. Jesus, fuck America. Guess I’ll just take a fork and remove the mushrooms…_

Her success became a little more bitter, but fortunately, there was a special offer of buying two for a cut price, so it wasn’t all bad. Nodding her head, Chloe picked her pizza and threw it in the basket.

_Right. What else? Maybe I can find one of those chocolate caramel things Max like. Doubt that will make her forgive me, though…_

An unexpected sense of despondency struck her when she could no longer distract her mind by imagining silly challenges and childish games. She looked down at her basket while the sounds around her became gallingly louder.

_She’ll probably never forgive me… I actually drove her into madness. No fucking wonder, though… I basically said that she fucked up when she killed hundreds of people to save me. Such a major decision, such a sacrifice she made… all to save me. And I shit all over it and slap her in the face. Goddammit, I really need to show her how much I appreciate what she’s done. How much I love her._

Chloe tugged a little on her shirt and squirmed her body when she felt a soreness in her shoulders. Turning slowly and walking in no particular direction, she looked around at the shelves, unsure what there was left to buy. Her thoughts headed towards her grandfather, trying to recall if the fridge had all the necessities of his daily rations. With that thought, however, came down another annoying weight on her shoulders, feeling bad that she had spent so little time with him. It was not guilt that made her let out a coarse breath, but just all the circumstances that had prevented her from doing regular teenage girl stuff.

“Oh! Eh, Ma’am!” Someone called out just as Chloe walked headfirst into a shelf of electronics. She hadn’t realized she had been looking down, barely paying attention, and the consequences were sure to present themselves. A hard hit to the forehead forced Chloe to take a step back, a pounding pain emerging through her.

“Ouch. Fuck” She growled while beginning to rub the targeted area with her left hand, barely managing to hold on to the basket in her right.

“I’m sorry, are you alright?” As the voice spoke up again, it became apparent that it was the sales assistant who had tried to warn her, the very same guy who was now jogging towards her with a nervous look on his face.

“Cock- I mean, yeah yeah, I’m fine” Chloe cleared her throat, noticing how most people around were staring at her, as if watching a girl walk into a shelf was the most interesting part of their day.

“That’s good” Clearly still a little frightened, his voice was held back and obviously unsure of what to do.

Chloe didn’t really pay much mind to him as she was ready to stare down the shelf she had walked into until she noticed on that very shelf, was a number of cameras and equipment’s for them, instantly brightening her face and numbing the pain.

 _Yes. That’s perfect!_  
  
Her eyes began running from side to side, reading the tags on all the equipment with names that might as well have been made in a low budget word generator. Godox AD360II-c. E-image EI-F3 tripod Rubber Feet. UTR – 1 Uwinka Lens Ring. 

“Yo. If I had Polaroid camera, what would you suggest I’d buy to make it so sweet, even The Zodiac Killer would want a picture?”

The young sales assistant stood perfectly still for a second, wondering about his existence or something until he recovered and went into a clearly practiced-in-front-of-a-mirror stance. “Well, our selection is not that big on Polaroid equipment, but what we do have is of the best quality, I assure you” and with the stance came the salesman voice which sounded surprisingly similar to a homeless guy barfing his guts out.  
“Here we have the Instant Color Pack for Polaroid cameras. 8 exposures per pack. Classic white frame” He forced a smile while gesturing to some small, black box with some dotted colors and white text.  
“It’s only 16.99”

Chloe barely considered it before turning back to him with the look of a girl who hadn’t just walked into a shelf. “I need something more… special, ya’ know? Something that will… like, if I hit an old lady with my car and I was in the hospital with her and showed her this rad camera equipment, she would instantly forget the whole thing” While it was not the sweetest analogy, Chloe felt it brought the point across, even though the guy gave her weird look before nodding hesitantly.

"What you’re looking for is this NiSi Square Hard GND0.9 Filter” He went right back into his working-smile while taking a small gray box down from the shelf.  
“As a general rule, a hard grad would be used for images containing a horizon, or any hard transition between the sky and the foreground - even with jagged or mountainous horizons, the exposure can be controlled far easier with a hard grad. This Graduated Neutral Density Filter helps to darken specific areas of an image, such as bright skies while allowing for a normal, unaffected exposure in the other regions of the image. All for 189.99” So smoothly he laid out these facts as if he had remembered the description off of some site on the internet. Disregarding that, Chloe raised one eyebrow when she heard the price. Granted, she had little to none experience in cameras and the cost of such things, but it did sound pricey for what just sounded like a filter from what she could gather. However, even though she didn’t like to admit it, this guy’s speech had somewhat impressed her and she was more than tempted to just say fuck it and buy it. Price didn’t matter in the end anyway.

“So the old lady will love me again?” Chloe asked, placing her hands in her pocket and kicking an imaginary rock on the floor.

“She’ll even pay for the damage her skull did to your car” In a surprising turn of events, this young man had cracked the code of being a good salesman and Chloe was no longer in doubt.

“Give me ten!” She demanded with a confident voice but quickly backtracked.  
“No, just… just give me one, I don’t know what I’ll do with… with more than one”

And against all odds, against the cruel world itself, the blue-haired girl eventually walked out of the market with a guarded smile, the smallest amount of hope she dared to give herself, and a white a plastic bag. If nothing else, the determination of showing her affection for the girl she loved kept her head up and it would not just stop at the gift. Chloe had something else planned.


	35. It's Only Me

“Oh, I totally forgot to ask you. That shirt I saw you wearing a few days ago, with the salt shaker and a rose, is that from something?” Chloe shooed away the silence when she realized they were only a few blocks away from home.

“It’s from an old movie” While Max did reply- and Chloe grateful that she did- it was with a heavy voice as if her words were buried underneath layers of thick mud and soil.

“Oh, awesome. It looked really interesting. What movie is it?” She knew how over-the-top nice she sounded, but seeing as the majority of the ride home had been filled with silence and far-away stares, the only thing she wanted was for Max to feel wanted.

A few slow seconds passed with the disconsolate girl having her head in her hand, dry blood on her lip that Chloe wanted to mention, but would prefer to ease into it.  
“You don’t know it, so it… it doesn’t matter” Her voice sounded comically dry, but at the time, there was nothing funny about it. All her emotions had just disappeared.

“Oh, okay” Chloe responded dishearteningly as she looked around to find anything that could be a potential conversation topic. Unfortunately, the surrounding houses all looked the same and there was no red-nosed clown walking down the street. The only thing that caught her eye was the black scarf in the backseat, next to a purple purse. She had noticed it lying there, just injecting her with interest throughout, but hadn’t felt confident enough to ask about it. With no straws left in her hand, she took a breath and moistened her mouth. However, just as she was about to question the appearance of it, Max cut in.  
  
“It’s Tiffany’s purse. She forgot it when we dropped her off at the bus station” She answered the unspoken question without even moving her vacuous staring out the window.

“Damn, that’s probably a big deal for a girl like her, right?” With a tiny crack in her voice, Chloe tapped her thumb on the steering wheel in some wanting attempt of causing a reaction.  
“I’ll call her” She held down a sigh, still uncertain whether or not Max was completely present.

The door creaked and the damned silence was about to walk right in again with its melancholy baggage, but this time, she wouldn’t have it. She barricaded the door and spoke up.  
“You know I love you, right? Everything I said back at the hotel, it wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t have yelled at you… I just thought… I know we’ve never established this, but you’re my girlfriend. Or at least, I want you to be… so I needed to be honest with you, but somehow, amidst the words I meant to say, came some bullshit that coated every syllable with lies. I just wanted to come clean and go back to… holding your hand, feeling those tingling feelings when we’re about to kiss, all that romantic shit I pretend to hate. I wanted it so desperately” She felt scared for saying such direct statements, but it was the sort of scared that only had an effect when it was rubbing against the surface, so when she slowed down the car to park at the outside of the snug house they lived in, she felt proud of herself for just saying it.

“I know you love me. I like holding your hand and kissing you as well, and I am your girlfriend, but that’s not… it’s not right” These uncertain words prompted Chloe to look over at her, but as she did, she saw her despondent face and flickering eyes as if she was thinking something through, recalling a moment and moving her lips to silently speak words of the past.  
“Let’s wait until were inside” So much breath she let out, so much lingering trepidation she created and shaped in the form of unwelcoming tribulation.

Her hand already reached for the handle when Chloe didn’t even know what to take from her expression and disquieting words. The morning wind blew past her, then through her, icing her inside and besmirching her heart. She held her breath and looked in the backseat, seeing the black scarf lying lazily in the seat next to the lost purse and felt something else entirely, but before she let herself be overtaken by her emotions, she stretched her arm out, grabbed the scarf tightly, wrapped it around the purse and got out of the car. The air was sordid, the sky unclear.

…

Stepping inside the only place she felt truly safe, a warm relief struck her. “That must have been some crazy night out” Alfred called from the living room with the indistinct sounds of a TV running in the background. Chloe had only kicked off her shoes, while Max had not stopped for a second and continued walking through the hallway with lifeless movements, with such a robotic feeling hovering around her.

“It was. Sorry I didn’t call you to let you know where… we were” Chloe responded out in the open while picking up the bag with groceries, the gift, the scarf, and the purse she had placed in there, then quickly followed her friend.

“Don’t worry about it. Even though I don’t trust you to not get into trouble, I trust that you know how to deal with trouble” Hearing Alfred’s lighthearted and blind voice was a nice change of pace. Having sat in a car with a girl that went to great lengths to say the least possible amount of words had become quite somber. Max had walked into the living room with Chloe steadily following along, giving her a chance to watch her grandfather sit in his usual place on the couch, with his usual dark red sweater with a half-empty pack of nuts. It was a sight she had come to cherish, so much so that she considered breaking free from the ghostly string attached to Max which she felt dragging her along to have a long awaited conversation with Alfred. She had always felt sort of bad about how she had kept him in the dark of a huge part in her life and it was even worse when she knew that he was aware of this, but never questioned it. The things she wanted to say, these secrets she wanted to share… yet, she couldn’t stop herself from staying close to Max as she had begun walking up the stairs.

“You know it. We’ll be in my room. I think we’re gonna sleep?” Chloe’s pitch arose at the end, trying to get some kind of affirmation from Max, but her back and closed mouth offered nothing.  
“Yeah,” Chloe sighed.  
“We’re gonna sleep”

“Alright. I’ll try to not make too much noise. Neither will you, hopefully” It was an inappropriate joke that, coming from her grandfather, made her instantly feel the ball of slime in her throat and she almost hurt her neck when she tightly bent it into an unnatural position.

“That’s… gross” Chloe could only force out these words with a hoarse voice and strained expressions, but Alfred simply laughed it off and went back to his activities of watching TV and eating nuts. A relaxing, albeit dull way to spend time, but it was something Chloe wish she could do for the rest of her years, as she dreaded going upstairs with Max. Not because she didn’t want to spend time with her, not because her melancholy attitude brought her down, but because there was something on Max’s mind, and with said mind being in a mixed state of psychosis and depression, there was a slim chance of it being a nice conversation they were about to have. The only thing that gave her enough willpower to walk up these hardwood stairs was the bag in her hand with the gift that she hoped could fix it all, or at least put a bandage on a wound to keep it from bleeding excessively. 

Taking the first step into her room, Chloe had decided to not give in and feigned a smile, hoping it would influence her friend. The morning glow passing the window lit up the dust particles and heated the room in a comforting way. Whether she actually felt hopeful, or if it was just her body being incredibly sleep deprived, was not truly important when she slid her feet across the carpet floor and walked as close to Max as she thought she’d be comfortable with.

“Bet you could really use some sleep, huh?” She grinned while nudging the air.

The only reply Chloe managed to get was a shrug of a single shoulder before Max sat down on the edge of the bed, looking completely tired, sad, and just done. Chloe felt it is a well, she knew how brutal the feeling of hopelessness could hit in times like these, but she remembered what Max had said. That what she loved about Chloe, was the fact she could lift her spirits at the worst of times and make every situation bearable. This was her time to prove it.

“So, hey, I know you’re like… you love taking photos, so I was thinking, that camping trip we talked about, right? We should totally bring your camera and just take a million pictures of squirrels. I know you’re amazing at highlighting the features of animals. We could even upload them to the internet and win some sort of photography contest” Chloe said enthusiastically and with a self-reliant smile as she put the bag aside and twirled her desk chair around.

“I have a polaroid camera. I can’t upload them to the internet” While Max didn’t look up, a lingering feeling of amusement could still be felt, just waiting to burst out from her. At least, that’s what Chloe hoped was happening.

“Oh, right. Hmm… how do Polaroid cameras actually work? I mean, I used to think, when I was little, that there was some sort of drawing mechanism inside that drew the image, but I’m 82% sure that isn’t how it works” Chloe ventured a little closer, considering sitting down next to her friend.

“I’m not entirely sure. You can look it up on the internet or something” Barely moving, Max let the bangs fall down like drapes in front of her eyes, her body clinging to itself, but despite the signs, when Chloe got close enough, she casually sat down next to her friend with a nod.

“I guess. There’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask you, though. When you take pictures, how do you know what will work and what won’t? I always see you sorting through pictures and it’s like you instinctively know a good picture from a bad. Does it have something to do with the lighting?” Chloe pulled a pondering expression with a voice of interest, keen on listening to her friend explaining something she knew played a big part in her life. 

“Chloe, I- I’m sorry, but I don’t feel like talking about something like this right now” Her words swatted her away as if she was just a menacing fly, but it cut deeper than perceptible. She felt so small and useless, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to fix things. It was this thought of inefficaciousness that shut her mouth and made her bite the inside of her cheek.  
“It just doesn’t make sense anymore” A wrapping whisper floated out from Max’s warm lips, emanating a dream-like vibe.  
“We don’t make sense anymore”

Chloe felt herself slipping, about to fall on the ice she had been so careful to step on. “Max, please… just remember all we’ve been through. I know this is tough, but you’ve never given up. You’ve always fought, even when it seemed pointless and I-“ Amidst Chloe’s attempt to halt her friend’s mind and stop her words from wandering to unwanted places, she was interrupted.

“There is a difference” The orange beam of light coming from the window seemed so painstakingly misplaced when Max spoke.  
“I used to find the reasons behind everything I did, but this time, the reason of it all has already passed me… I watched it going by, I didn’t grab onto it and now everything is behind me” The room was so perfectly warm, so why did her hands feel so tryingly cold?  
“I chose this” There was no hesitation in her words, no pause in her lips for her thoughts to gather.  
“What Tiffany said was right. People change, life changes, and it’s useless to cling to the past. The things you wanted, the things that you thought you loved...”

“I want to show you something” Chloe spoke up with an anomalous positive voice as she got up and began swinging her arms as she walked towards the bag she had placed next to the table.

While it did make Max finally stretch her neck and look up, she wasn’t entirely pleased with Chloe avoiding the topic, but if she were to be honest with herself, she didn’t care too much. All she did when she watched Chloe take out the black scarf and Tiffany’s purse, was to direct her thoughts away from her existence. It was uncanny, but every second had become a struggle to not suddenly go over the edge and fall into an abyss of fear and instability.

“Here it is. Now, I didn’t wrap it since I know you hate the unnecessary trash that comes with it” Chloe said just before turning around with a small black box in her hand and a sanguine smile on her lips. “I hope you’ll like it”

The object was placed on Max’s right thigh and as she looked down she felt a hand gently rubbing her back. She didn’t say anything and barely acknowledged the gift Chloe had presented her.

“It’s like a filter thing that helps with lightning and such, so now those squirrels will look extra rad, right?” Chloe made some movements with her left hand as she had sat down next to Max again.

“I can’t use it” The emotionless tone took Chloe by surprise, but her words dragged her down even deeper.

“What?” Her smile faded as she lowered her head slightly, trying to catch eye contact with the girl.  
  
“This is for a 150x170 digital camera with a frame. Like I said, I have a Polaroid One Step Flash 600, so it doesn’t attach or even work in any case” The familiar light felt so unbecoming as Chloe’s her heart slowed down with her emotions sinking.

“Oh. I’m…” A gnawing sense of shame washed over her.  
“I’m sorry” She had been so sure that Max would be happy about the gift, it was something she was interested in, but Chloe hadn’t gathered enough knowledge before she acted and was left feeling the consequence of failure, making her place her hands on her legs and scratch her pants nervously.

A brief silence took over, tossed a coin that made a clang when it hit the ground.  
  
“I’m going to bed” Max simply stated and no matter how hard she tried, Chloe couldn’t get a feel of what was going on. She was confused, anxious and wretched. She just wanted her back.

With a quick exhale that nearly sounded like a laugh, Chloe directed her attention towards Max, placed a hand on the side of her cheek to turn her head and as a last cry of desperation, moved her lips to hers and kissed her while caressing her face. Max didn’t pull back, but neither did she move in. She stayed perfectly still, not even letting a spark snap from their burned out passion. Like kissing a statue, there was no intimacy amidst their connected lips with the dry blood in the middle and Chloe was forced to pull back, and as she did, for a single moment, she had the chance to look into the eyes of her significant other, but what she saw, dispirited her. A vacant gaze with no identity, just a lost face on an injured girl.

“Thanks for the gift” The figurine whispered and pulled herself backward, escaping the loose grasp of her friend to lie down on the bed.

But how she fell, left and ripped a part of Chloe away when her inscrutable actuality sunk into the sheets and disappeared. All too exposed when that part of her vanished, the blue-haired girl covered herself in chagrin and pushed herself off from the edge of the bed with not even a tear daring to reveal itself in the disquieting morning light. Her scintillating heart grew feeble, her blue eyes of aspiration dwindled to a colorless scene of shattered tomorrows.  
She had only one place to go, only a single place to let her mind escape to and if it could not be the promise of a better future, it would be the certainty of a better past.


	36. One, Two, Lamb

“Alright, so Maxter. You changed history today”

“I didn’t change history, Chloe”

“Then tell us what you did”

“Are you seriously filming this?”

“Years from now, scholars will need to know how one girl stood above the rest while they were under her, lucky enough to kiss her hipster sneakers”

“I think you’re overselling this. All I did was-“

“No, shh! We need to build tension”

“God”

“Among the crowd, the sheeple of America, a single Maxgician saw through the lies, she cleaned out the sewers of ignorance and cleaned the toilet covered in idiocy”

“You are really bad at getting metaphors across, you know that?”

“Not even dolphins that literally follow seabirds and fishing boats to feed on the fish they scare up or discard- how sweet is that?”

“It’s pretty sweet”

“Nay! Not even the fish that has convinced mankind that they’re mammals- even though they’re clearly fish”

“It’s a conspiracy, really”

“Not even they could have accomplished what my best friend has done today! Tell them! Tell the world of your everlasting superiority!”

“I got an A on my history test”

“Damn right, you did! This girl right here, with her Dixie Kong ponytail-“

“You don’t like my hair?”

“She is the smartest person in the world! And I’m her sexy sidekick that gets all the girls, while you have… I don’t know, I guess you can have a butler like Batman”

“I get Alfred?”

“That’s right. Seriously, though. I’m proud of you, dude”

“Thanks, but I can’t take all the glory. Why don’t you tell the millions of people watching this video in the future, what you have accomplished today?”

“Have I done something cool recently?”

“Yeah, you know…”

“Oh, shit you’re right. I ate an entire bag of pretzels, all by myself”

“I didn’t even help. Not that I had a choice, though. Every time I got close to the bag, you hissed at me like some ghoul”

“What are you talking about? I did not”

“You did, man. You were like ‘GHHHSSSSS’”

“What are you doing?”

“GHHHSSSSS!”

“No! Stay away! I’m too unsuccessful in life to die!”

“YAAAR”

“Get off! Nooooo!”

“Haha, once I’m finished with you, I will eat all your snacks!”

“They’re mine! Oh, hold on, I think my mom’s coming”

“What are you kids doing on the floor?”

“We’re just trying to murder each other, jeez mom”

“Alright, but dinner is ready. Dad will be home in five minutes, so please don’t lose. I don’t want to explain to him how Chloe’s best friend killed his daughter”

“Oh, so you’re rooting for Chloe?”

“Well, she has a school meeting tomorrow. It will be a whole thing if we cancel again”

“Fair”

“Eurgh. Let’s just eat. But when we’re done, I’m gonna grab a bag of Doritos and devour them in front of you”

“Tss. We’ll see about that”

The screen turned black, the mollifying sounds went silent and Chloe fell back in the chair with a forlorn smile on her dry lips. She moved the cursor to the edge of the screen to close the video and returned to the folder with dated pictures and videos, taken from Chloe’s old camera phone. Most of the files were dated back to 2007 and the particular video she just watched by her lonesome, was filmed only a few months before Max left Arcadia Bay all that time back. It was just something random Chloe had decided to film in her old room, never having imagined it would once be used to spark the tiniest of calm amidst the storm inside of her body. Now, when Chloe turned the chair and looked at the girl from the video, lying uneasy in her bed with all her clothes on, not even under the covers, she could only recognize the freckles and the pale skin, but not the girl. It didn’t feel right to be sad or angry, she just wanted to feel sympathy. Max was the one going through all of these struggles, but there was still some part of her that felt the pain her friend was going through, but there was nothing that could ease the ache, nothing that could change what she felt.

Her head fell down as she began drawing circles in the palm of her hand with her finger, only being allowed to listen to the fidgeting Max did in the bed. She was sleeping, Chloe was certain of it, but she looked so uncomfortable and distressed and she had considered waking her up, but what would be the point? She would need sleep sooner or later and for some reason, some disconcert, thorny reason that just tore a hole in her heart, it was easier to cope with everything with Max not being awake and miserable. And there was the other thing, the one drop of blood in the water that frightened her more than anything… that Max would break up with her. Chloe remembered what she had said in the shower days ago, when Max voiced her concerns about starting a relationship. She remembered her worried expression and her flustered face as she feared that if someday that bond they would create at this moment in time would break, it would take break their friendship in the progress. The simple answer back then was a confident “no”. Chloe wasn’t worried. She just wanted it to happen and not focus on the possible downfall, but now, if Max asked her again, with that same expression, with that glow in her eyes “Aren’t you scared that this will just… break us?” Then the answer would be a staggering “Yes”  
Chloe pulled herself up from the chair, seeing the beam of light shining through the window, hitting the discarded gift on the ground and eventually disappearing behind a gray cloud as she lowered her head. “I’m terrified”

She turned her back to her sleeping friend and with light steps, walked out of her room, closed the door behind her with a drop in her heart before walking downstairs.

The usual sounds of a running TV were no longer present, the comfort of the warm air and soothing atmosphere had vanished away to an unknown place and everything felt tilted as she saw her grandfather sitting on the couch with collected hands and an unengaged look in his waned blue eyes.

“Gramps?” She whispered while taking a step closer, feeling uneasy when he didn’t respond.  
“Hey,” she spoke up, stared at his empty face, his still body sitting in the faded green couch with an absent of light in the room, triggering her heart into a heavy thumb.  
“What are you doing?” She felt something in her legs, a warm liquid rising inside of her body. The pack of nuts on the table was gone, replaced by a bottle of pills with a white label.  
“Fucking react!” She let out a deadened yell that only felt weak in the muddy air.  
In frustration of being ignored, Chloe pulled her body forward and kicked the leg of the chair in front of her, making a loud screeching noise.

“Chloe? Are you okay? Chloe!” The voice finally passed through her ears as everything went black for a millisecond until her eyes shot open with her body jerking backward into the chair. Her heart was racing as she flung her head around, utterly confused as to what had just happened. She quickly recognized the living room she was in and saw Alfred sitting in front of her on the couch, nervously staring at her with his pack of nuts in front of him on the table.  
“Is everything alright? I think you passed out for a second” Alfred spoke once more while leaning forward, with Chloe taking quick breaths and her eyes buzzing inside of her skull.

“What happened?” She questioned dazed and confused, shifting on the wooden chair, feeling sweat skating down her back.

“Look at me” Alfred requested seriously with authority in his voice.  
“You wobbled down here like you were drunk, sat down in the chair and mumbled something about Max, and before I knew it, your eyes were closed and your body limb” He looked her over slowly.  
“Come. I’ll drive you to the doctors, see if everything’s okay” Pulling his chin up, Alfred placed a hand on the couch about to push himself up.

“No, it’s fine. I think I just… fell asleep. I haven’t had the chance to lay down for a long time, but I’m- I’m fine” Chloe attempted to say with confidence in her voice, but still felt bemused about suddenly awakening without remembering falling asleep.

Alfred looked at her hesitantly, but his trust always came through as he leaned back down into the couch and nodded. “Okay, but you should really go to bed then. Staying awake for too long is not healthy”

Chloe had only seen her grandfather with this concerned look in his eyes a few times before and while she knew that he always tried his best to give Chloe her space, it was nice to see that he was still fatherly enough to draw the line somewhere.

“Yeah, I will in just a second, but I actually… wanted to talk with you” Chloe still felt her body begging for her to lie back and drift away, but there was a splinter in her brain that had bugged her for a while and she needed someone to talk to and if it could not be Max, it would have to be her grandfather, and while she did respect his opinions more than most, the fact that he was still in the dark about all the events, would mean he wouldn’t know exactly what Chloe was reaching for with her question.

“I’ve… it’s kind of weird to tell you this, but I’ve had some troubles with Max recently, and it’s come to the point where I feel like she’s pushing me away. I mean, she is going through a lot of, eh... private stuff, but I don’t know… I’m not sure if I should back off or try to force my help on her?” Chloe was aware of how she barely eased into such a grievous question, but for various reasons, time seemed evanescent at the moment and however much she wanted to just make casual conversation, it was a time where all the help she could get to not make a wrong move would be appreciated.

Alfred nodded a few times, moving his tongue around in his mouth and looked off into the distance like he did so often. “I don’t know” and just like this, his reassuring nods turned into minor shakes of his head with a response Chloe had never expected.  
“It’s not that I don’t know the feeling- It’s exactly how I felt about you when you were younger. I tried so hard to understand you and get on your good side, but it was as if I had thorns sticking out of me that would hurt you every time I got close” He paused for a breath, his eyes lit with memories.  
“I eventually backed off. I figured you didn’t have room enough for so many people worrying about you because God knows, you mother and father worried about you a lot in a way parents do” Something about the colors- not just on Alfred’s increasingly pale face, but the entirety of Chloe’s vision seemed off.  
“Wound up barely talking with you for years after your grandmother died” His voice sunk deep, his veiny hands perfectly still on his thighs. He blinked once to rip himself free from the possibility of a different past.

Chloe unnoticeable shook her head, barely remembering those memories her grandfather so often told stories about and she wanted to feel guilty- it felt odd that she didn’t; as if the blame was on someone else’s shoulder. “I’m sorry about that”

“Don’t be. Life just gets in the way and I understood that, but…” He curled his lips and looked in the direction of the staircase, unconsciously making Chloe look down with closed eyes.   
“To get back on topic… I don’t know Max like you do. I know-” The name quickly made Chloe fight to keep her body from shutting down once more.  
“-that you care deeply about her and if you make each other happy in times of great stress, then it’s a perfect fit”

There was something else in the room, a troubling warmth, a two-sided countenance, and with her last remaining shred of perception came a thought that was hidden- something that had to be stored away. A wondering if all of these events, all these shared moments, actually had a purpose. It scared her when she couldn’t answer the question floating around in her head- if they actually made each other happy. She had tried so hard to convince herself that it would get better someday. That their happiness is just waiting around the corner, waiting for their problems to leave before it dared to show itself. 

“But there’s- how much energy is worth using, how much is worth sacrificing, to make it work?” A smell of rain pervaded the room.

Chloe caught on to Alfred staying quiet for a second to ponder about the right words to say, the needed advice for his granddaughter. “That’s… really subjective, but it is important to realize that being in a relationship doesn’t- or shouldn’t- erase your individuality. Love can make you lose sight of the world and yourself. You are still you, with your own opinions and beliefs, and that, you should never sacrifice”  
  
“Is it…” All her thoughts went back to one place, a curious prickle in her mind that desired for an outside opinion of the dreadful choices that had been made. A person that wasn’t involved in the calamitous incident could bring a new perspective to it all. These were her thoughts, these were her worries.  
“Is it fair to sacrifice pieces of the world around you, if- if it means you can stay together with… the single person you really want?” She tried to word it as vague as possible, but still felt the secret burning to get out.

Alfred lifted his shoulders, ground his sweater along the back of the couch. “I’m not sure I understand”

A flicker in her vision, two shadows to every object with only a single light source. She wanted to close her eyes and disappear, she no longer felt the toll and the weight, only despair.  
“Is the love between two people worth causing misery to several uninvolved people?” So fragile her words has become and such sensitive skin covering her aggravate self, and even before there had been a second to allow an answer, she felt it.

“Oh, I- you’re asking if it’s okay to be with a person if it will harm other people?”

She felt the mistake and could only nod.

“I can’t say for sure, but there are a few things to take into consideration… there will certainly be an obligation to stay happy with your partner, or else you would have caused harm to preserve something that fell apart in the end anyway, but, no, you know what… Chloe, everyone will fall in love at some point, it’s just a thing humans do, but that doesn’t mean that the world stops spinning. I mean, a person is a being with their own life and story, and while being in love can bring out the best in you, it does not automatically make you better than everyone else or grant special powers or rights. Like you, I believe that sometimes it’s only right to sacrifice your own happiness, you know? If it means other people won’t get hurt” His voice so soft, but his words so sharp; it cut a long wound in her stomach. Alfred didn’t know what he was talking about, he didn’t understand.

“No. I don’t believe that. If you’re in a situation- the worst situation of your entire life, where you have to… hurt others to protect the person you love, there can't be any other choice. There can’t and there isn’t” Slowly, colors dispersed and the warmth had sucked the girl from her body into a fiery pit of denial. Alfred didn’t have a say in the matter, he wasn’t allowed to talk as if Max had a choice. As if she did something wrong. He was trying to hurt her, he was a threat. 

“I know it sometimes feels that way, but, love is not about being better than everyone and not caring about other people. It’s a beautiful thing, no doubt, but it does not grant the right to make decisions that lead to the destruction of other people’s lives. God sees us all as equal, and even though I know it’s impossible to care about a stranger just as much as you would care about, say, your daughter, wouldn’t you feel that if the love you have was the direct result of suffering, that your love would then be tainted, but if you sacrifice your happiness with another person to avoid the suffering of others, then your love would be a symbol of good? Which is something that lasts forever”

If only Chloe could take a step back, if she could see that he only spoke his mind and was completely unaware that this conversation was any more than just shared thoughts, but right now, with a worn-out soul and a black heart, all she could see was the tortured face on Max she saw when Chloe had said something similar back at the hotel. She remembered how much it broke her, and no one was allowed to say something like that ever again.

“You’re wrong! If she tells me that I’m more important, then I believe her! There was no right- no justice to what happened. Nobody knows what it’s like, it was a fucked up situation so don’t you dare judge her! She never wanted it to happen, she never wanted the choice! What kind of God would punish an innocent 18-year old for being in love?! Fuck that “we’re all equal” shit! There is no justice in the world! It’s not even a world anymore, it’s hell! I am in hell!” She clutched her chest and shot her body forward, staring with such an intensity that it hurt the back of her red eyes. Alfred retracted a little, looking confused at his granddaughter in response to the sudden yelling and anger, having no clue as to what she was referring to, yet, he was attentive enough to see that her anger came from pain, and whatever it was Chloe was referring to, it was something that had shocked her heart and it had never seized to be in a state of paralysis. He blinked slowly, knowing the sagacious response would be silence.

A moment stuck in time, a quivering vision that bounced her words around in the room, finding no peace. With her yells came an opening in the wall. The fit of rage and everything upon had destroyed the boundary in which her thoughts were allowed to wander, and now, with no strength to keep it out any longer, everything dropped and Chloe felt herself bursting from the inside with a bitterness in her mouth.

“I can’t stand it! I know that you have no idea what I’m talking about, but fuck! I miss my parents so much… I miss my life so much” The smallest of openings in her eyes pushed out a tear, the freezing darkness surrounding her shook her breath and wrapped her in memories of an eluded past that she had clung to like it was life itself. The only life she ever wanted.  
“They’re in heaven, right? My mom… my dad” The faces so familiar and so reoccurring in her unhinged mind, yet, it had become a puzzle to place the curves and cracks, the color of the eyes and the shade on the lips. Every fear-inducing moment had washed away a tiny detail of her parents, details that were so precious to her, and now she could barely remember their smiles.

“Yes“ The vivid tones passed through the tremulous air and the sounds of tears scraping against a poor girl’s cheeks.  
“They’re in heaven“ So unequivocal his words had become and Chloe craved to look at him, to see his calm and assured face, but in all the flaming water, he was only a misshapen figure reaching out to her.

Desperate, fragile, and scared, Chloe enfolded herself as she got up from the chair dragged her chained feet across the floor, only to fall down on her knees before her only succor and wept.  
“And… what about me? When I die… can I see them again?” All her insecurities in this darkened moment were cried out, her body empty of what she had fought for and it crept upon her neck how she only desired for the last promise of silence.

Seeing her granddaughter, down on her knees before him with her emotions at their peak, being flushed out through tears and frightened breaths, Alfred got off the couch, heedfully placing himself before the grieving girl, down on his knees as well, grabbed Chloe behind her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug.

“Of course you will see them again” His soft voice so clear to her ear, and his embrace so wanted.   
“and they will tell you how proud they are of you” Chloe pressed her body against his and let herself be overtaken by all of her shattered expectations and every lying promise.  
“You’re an angel, Chloe”

His ending words lifted all of her emotions she had fought so hard to suppress for so long, every tear she failed to shed at her parents funeral, every cry she held in to prove that she wasn’t broken, every doubt she had about her inadequacy to keep her loved ones happy and safe, the remaining few… it all hit in her chest, emptied her lungs of air and the filled the room with the sounds of crying. A sound only broken by two hard knocks on the front door…  



	37. The Lion who Brought Flowers

“Fuck” Chloe whispered angrily under her breath as she clutched her grandfather close and regrettably letting tears be absorbed into his wool sweater. Another knock traveled through the room, shattering her hopes of her being able to ignore it. Alfred felt the same, just wanting this honest moment to last a little longer in silence, knowing that it was something they both needed, however, after only a having been given a few seconds of trying to console his granddaughter, was he forced to take a deep breath and loosen his muscles. “I’ll go see who it is,” He said regrettably as he let go of his grip around Chloe and made a strained expression while pulling himself up from his position on the floor. He just managed to let these coated words out as another, even harder, knock dared to pass through her ears, as if a person was only allowed two seconds to answer the door before the moronic knocker would sue. Yet, a sudden thought sparked inside of Chloe’s scattered mind and prompted her to jump up from the ground and wipe away her tears. “No, it’s- it’s okay. I got it” She nearly demanded by sending a pensive look to Alfred before turning around and quietly walking over to answer the door. Her reason for sneaking, for answering the door herself, and for being extremely paranoid, was the thought of seeing a familiar and malevolent face standing in front of the house.

“Excuse me? I’m looking for Chloe- oh, and, eh, probably Max as well” A light voice suddenly came from behind the wooden door and Chloe instantly recognized the bushed voice of a confused, yet nonchalant, young boy. Her new associate, Ted. She passed a sigh of relief and proceeded to wipe her face clean once more just to be sure it wasn’t totally obvious she had been crying her very soul out. Something she was actually rather annoyed by that she didn’t get to finish.   
“I mean, I only need one of them actually. Heh… bring me one hostage and I might spare your lives!... I’m just joking, sorry. That was dumb”

Hearing the dumb voice awkwardly speaking, inclined Chloe to glance back at Alfred to see his one raised eyebrow and tilted head, making Chloe’s only means of a response a slight shrug.

“Is this even the right house?” Ted questioned himself with a quiet voice just before Chloe finally freed him of his- and everybody’s- agony and opened the door to see the halfwit turning his head with clear, brown eyes, a green slacker hoodie, and uncombed orange hair, curling its way down his back.  
“Heeeey” Amidst the awkward stretch of words, Ted ground his teeth together as he curled up by looking at Chloe’s displeased face.  
  
“Ted, what are you doing here?” Chloe had to dig real hard as to not slam the door in his face, but knowing that Ted hadn’t done anything wrong, just decided to come by at the worst possible time, she decided to keep the door open- hesitant about letting him in, though.

“I was in the neighborhood, about… twenty-five miles from here” he whispered the last few words.  
“So I thought I’d swing by since I have some maybe important information about Ethan” but his last sentence was unfortunately not whispered, instantly prompting Chloe to signal a hush motion with her hands, not wanting Alfred to overhear anything.

“You could just have called” Her voice was regrettably a little annoyed, not that it was directed at Ted but she couldn’t let him in when Max was upstairs sleeping off a mental breakdown.

Ted hesitated a little and intentionally made a scrunchy face while pretending to lean against an invisible wall. “I can tell it’s a bad time… but like, is it a ‘my dog just drank dishwasher cleaner’ bad time or ‘a sock on the door handle’ bad time? Because I don’t see no sock on the door, so it must be the dog thing, yeah?” Putting both his hands in separate pockets of his worn-out jeans, Ted lifted his shoulders and showcased just how bad at conversing he was.

“Jesus Christ” Chloe whispered under her breath, feeling as if she was in a low budget sitcom with terrible writing.

“I mean, the sock usually goes on the bedroom door, but placing one on the front door lets everybody know–“

Ted’s obnoxious rambling came to a screeching halt as a sudden, loud, and piercing scream made everyone jump up in shock with Chloe feeling a chill down her spine just as the sharp scream stopped and everything went uncomfortable silent with a sense of strain in the thick air.

“Wow. What the hell was-“ Ted scarcely managed to question as Chloe’s instincts had already kicked in and she began running towards the staircase with such speed her body nearly fainted from the sudden movement but her beating heart kept her alert. “MAX?!” She yelled with a crack in her voice and eyes beaming with intensity as she jumped over the first steps on the staircase.

Ted took a moment to phantom the situation, but quickly shook his head and after some expeditious mental convincing ran into to house to follow Chloe, feeling surprisingly concerned as well. “Oh, eh, hi” He managed to blurt out as he ran past Alfred who stood confused and startled in front of the couch and only managed to make a small, cloddish nod before Ted had bolted up the stairs, seeing Chloe literally bum-rushing the door to her room, followed by a loud and distressed yell. “What happened?! Are you okay?!”

When Chloe had entered the room, her eyes immediately fell upon the bed in which Max was now sitting, breathing heavily with sweat dripping from the bottom of her chin down to her hands clawing the sheets, her eyes locked on the nothingness in front of her with wide pupils, black as coal, removing and replacing the blue iris. Without asserting the situation, Chloe ran towards her terrified friend and took a firm grip on her burning shoulder. “Max, Max! It’s alright! You’re okay!” She reassured her while desperately trying to catch her disorientated attention.

Eeriness spread inside of Chloe as Max seemed unresponsive. Fearing she might be having a panic attack or another breakdown, Chloe looked back and saw Ted standing in the door frame with turmoil painted all over his face.

“Ted, grab my wallet! It’s- fuck, where is it?! Shit, see if it’s on the desk!” She demanded with unrestrained dismay. Ted nearly jumped out of his own skin as he nodded dazedly and ran towards the table pushed against the wall and began scanning with twitching eyes and quivering fingers.  
“I have two pills in the- eh- fuck, the little flap thing!” Chloe kept anxiously shouting instructions, only making the confused boy even more frantic. 

“I had a nightmare” Max suddenly whispered out strained with her eyelids lazily covering her vision.  
“I just need a second” Her breaths became deeper and more controlled as Chloe loosened her grip on her shoulder, but kept her full attention on her expression that luckily fell into a more a calm position when a drop of sweat ran from her neck and in under her white shirt.

“So you’re… you’re not having some sort of…” Chloe bit her lip, not wanting to actually say the words.

“No” Her stare fell in place as the room began feeling unduly dark with only a few dim light sources in the room.

Chloe let out a sigh of relief while gently knocking her forehead against the side of Max’s head. She let the hand she had kept on her shoulder slide down her back and felt her friend's aroma working as tranquilizer against her rushing heart. “Okay,” Chloe whispered as she solicitously began stroking Max’s sweaty back while nuzzling her face into her bristly hair, having to resist the temptation of attempting to kiss her once more.

A shuffling sound was heard as Ted repositioned himself, his hands still hovering above the table, uncertain whether or not to stop searching for the wallet. “I would have nightmares too if I had to sleep in a room with a constant beeping noise” He let out, his voice a little tense from the sudden drama, but he was right. Chloe only noticed it after he mentioned it, but there was an irksome and seemingly erratic beep in the room.  
  
However, before she could gather herself she felt Max swiftly turn in her arms. “Ted? What is Ted doing here?” She directed her question at Chloe while blinking quickly to moisten her eyes and get a clearer vision.

“I’m actually not sure?” With a tilt in her voice, Chloe turned her attention towards the young boy standing self-consciously in the middle of the room with a stiff smile forming on his lips.

“Hi, Max” He lifted his arm slowly, imitating a lazy wave with his right hand.  
“I came to tell you- I mean, I found some information about Ethan, and I thought… you might be interested” His voice steadily fell in volume as he sucked in his lips and looked to the side.

Chloe was quick to pick up on the imminent silence and with the speed- and the sustained growl- of a writhing leopard she got up from the bed and rubbed her face to get the blood flowing in her pale cheeks. “Right right, but first-“ then opened her mouth wide to stretch her jaw, feeling more like a zombie with each passing second. “I need to stop that fucking noise” Chloe had pinpointed the source of the sound and practically swiping Ted away so she could get to her computer lying apparently not-so-peacefully on the table. It was a wobbly sound, but annoying nonetheless. It was undoubtedly the noise of notifications invading her physical life, but it sounded as if the system was glitching out with a new notification sound resonating every fifth second or so and even with different sources. Chloe could recognize the bubble-burst-and-single-piano-tone Facebook notification sound, but there were others in the mix. Unrecognizable ones. As she popped open the screen, she was met with a radiant glow and various numbers next to various applications, indicating just how much her PC was being bombarded. For a second, it scared her, but when she clicked the Skype icon at the taskbar with the mousepad, it absolutely terrified her. Twenty-one missed calls, seventy unread messages. Her eyes nervously flickered from side to side and her breath only got eerier when she saw what the messages contained.

 

**Sent 9:12 - Jackerjoe**

**MAX CAULFIELD?!**

**  
Sent 9:18 – Emma Destiny**

**is it true? did you allow the tornado to destroy arcadia bay? he said you could have stopped it…**

**Sent 9:30 – Robin Scheller**

**Trolololol. Some fag said you destroyed that arcadia town because of your SUPER NATURAL POWERS! I believe the police reports tho. You look like a deranged mf. I don’t know what i will do with ur social security number, but fuck. If ur half as crazy as the guy who posted that link i won’t even feel bad about stealing your identity. Ill don’t want people to think im a drug addict but ya know LOL! I will definitely check if that credit card info is legit tho. Having a hooker blow me for YOUR money… gg.**

Her thoughts grew wild as every word made a scorch mark in her throbbing brain and her breath got shrill as an overwhelming sensation of being strangled overcame her; she could not avert her eyes, not even move the muscles in her hand to close the screen or open her mouth to speak.

  
**Sent 9:39 – Jackerjoe**

**I SWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST IF YOU KILLED MY SISTER IF WILL FUCKING STRANGLE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HAVE THEIR ADDRESSES I ONLY LIVE A FEW MILES AWAY! IF YOU DON’T ANSWER RIGHT NOW I WILL GO OVER TO YOUR PARENTS AND STOMP ON THEIR FACES!!!**

**Sent 9:42 – Maymay**

**Is this really Max Caulfield? If it is, then you should know that a lot of private information about you have been published about an hour ago. It gives your credential information and tells some pretty horrific stories about you. It even says you have been convicted of making your dog attack a child, ripping the kids face apart? Also, something about you having time powers, but that is obviously bullshit. I can’t link to it since the link keeps being re-uploaded with different URL’s every five minutes or so. I think it happens on different sites, but I found it randomly on 4chan. You should really contact the police or something.**

Her unsteady heartbeats could be felt throbbing all the way up in her ears and without even noticing it, her fist had begun clenching, her nails digging into the palm of her hand.

 _Lies…_ red shapes in her vision began taking shape, boiling blood rushing to her limbs in complete enragement from not only knowing that Ethan published the information, but would even go as far as to blatantly tell lies about Max.

It was inevitable that with the anger, fear grabbed her neck as well and held her in place, forcing her to wonder about the actual and present danger they were in. And this was only some of the Skype messages, whereas she hadn’t even dared to look at the number of notifications on Facebook. Threats from random people who could very well make good on them, private information handed out as if it was a blessed pack of gum. _We have to cancel her credit card, we have to call her parents, we have to hide away, we have to call the police, we have to-_

“Chloe?”

A single, faint voice calling out her name with such a vulnerable essence to its delicate tones, such a sound she wanted to store in her memory and keep safe forever. Her thoughts stopped like a broken clock, no longer ticking and stuck in place. _We have to do something._

“What is going on?”

Chloe didn’t turn her head to look at her loved one who had already been beaten down to a pulp. If her eyes fell upon her deadpan face, her tongue would only slip out lies to present a false sense of comfort in the pursuit of acceptance and normality. She only wanted the tragedies to end so the rebuild could start. Only wanted a day in peace so she could focus entirely on her and what they had created together.

Just as she was about to open her mouth to speak the pitiful truth, the triggering sounds stopped altogether, all at once, leaving a suspenseful silence.

Ted who had been hanging back lifted his head slightly and adjusted his green hoodie. “Finally. I ne-“ 

“Shh!” Chloe instantly hushed him, signaling for him to stay quiet and stand still. Ted pulled his head back and raised his eyebrows as if he was offended while Max held her breath and stared inquisitively at Chloe who looked as if she was listening for something.

The humming of the PC was blocked out within the moment of a still heartbeat. Max had picked up on Chloe’s inexplicable reaction and forced herself to not move a muscle while Ted darted his eyes around avidly. A car door was slammed shut from outside, continued by light steps on pavement which Chloe traced with her attentive ears. Twelve steps until the front door creaked and she lowered her shoulders. A tapping of shoes walking on the wooden floor downstairs and she took a strident breath. A rustling.

“Max! Reverse time!” Chloe spun her body around and sent a terrifying stare directly into Max’s consternated eyes. Her whole body shook as she stomped her foot down onto the floor to get closer to her and flung her front body forward. “Right now!”

Max was sent back by the sudden demand but could tell all too well that Chloe was serious and began breathing frantically while lifting her right arm. Not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of her hand as she began bending her fingers.

“What the fuck?” Ted abruptly spoke up while blinking hard.  
“Reverse time? What the hell are you talking about? What is going on?” While he did not dare to take a step closer, he still used his body language to insistently demand an answer.

However, neither Chloe nor Max paid any attention to him as Chloe was far too focused on getting Max to do as she told her, as Max was panicking, having no idea what was going as well, but did her best to do what was demanded of her. “I- I’m trying” She whispered but finding it too difficult to concentrate as her body began replacing the sweat down her body.  
But all that stopped, everything froze as a chime and vibrations came from Chloe’s front pocket, a small light escaping through the fabric. For a moment, Chloe didn’t advert her eyes and simply stared shocked at the girl before her. With the pause in time and the only sound being heard was the rocky-tune playing from the phone in her pocket, Chloe slowly hovered her hand up her body, the joints in her fingers bending without intent. Her daunting blue eyes fell upon the girl in her bed who had now lowered her hand, looking so devastatingly vulnerable and the air between them was nothing more than the message of calamity. Chloe felt her heart choking her throat and her brain saying over and over “Not now” with a nagging gnawing. She didn’t know how she managed to do it, but she eventually felt the warm metal touching the side of her cold, bloodless cheek, the phone line open, the breath in her ear being sinister and subdued, but the voice that followed was all too clear, all too familiar.

“This is the final challenge”


	38. Death in our Kiss

“First, before I say anything else, you should know that if you take one step outside of the room you’re all currently in, then you will fail the challenge and the consequences will be immediate”

Chloe grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled until the fabric slipped between her fingers. She pounded her chest and took a hold of her shirt’s collar and dragged it down until a ripping sounded and her neck got burnt from the sudden friction with a shift. She kept asking herself what was left. Her courage had dissipated through her bloodstreams, her courage vanished when Max’s sanity did, her restraint evaporated through the palm of her hand that was used for hurting her, and her love wandered away when it was met with a closed door. So now, what was left? Inside of her, she wondered… was fear really the only thing dragging her around?

“Alfred is okay. I will not hurt him as long as you follow the rules and do as I say. That goes for you, Max, and Ted as well”

Upon hearing his poised voice once more, the bottom of her stomach felt something. Something else than fear. There was still a covert anger inside of her that had been overshadowed by other matters but was now fueled by the desire of revenge.

_That fucking psycho! Gramps has nothing to do with this! ‘I will not hurt him, as long as you follow the rules’? You’re not going to hurt him Ethan, but I’m not going to follow your fucking rules. All that stops now._

It swirled inside of her, rushing from the core of her chest and around her limbs, the two quiet people in the room, waiting for her to explain what was going on, for her to tell them what to do. But there was nothing they could do, they shouldn’t be involved. Without a response, without a breath of creation, Chloe let the phone slip away from her ear and let her hands hang low.

_I will not miss my chance this time. I was finally so close to feeling normal, and then that shit-eater ruins it all! He ruined Max!_

It clicked and her eyes shot open. A running flame ran across her skin, the rusty shackles breaking as she took a pertinacious step towards the door, but as soon the chain around her ankles got loose, her whole body felt lighter and she forced herself into a running motion as she held out her shoulder in front of her and shot the door open with an intentional bang, wanting to let Ethan know he had two seconds to run away before she would knock him out, stomp on his face, kick him in the ribs and break every single one of his fingers in an unleash of absolute fury. As Chloe nearly jumped down the flight of stairs, Max exclaimed something, but it was too quiet and too unimportant for her to give it any attention. She felt her whole body suffusing adrenaline to her limbs as her hair flew back when she ran down the last step of stairs, feeling saliva in her mouth beginning to perfuse from the pure thirst of physically dealing with her problems for once. The first thing she saw was the shocked face of her grandfather, sitting on the couch with his hands sinking deep into the cushion, his pupils as tiny as the smallest liver spot on his gaunt cheek. The reason all too clear, the face of fear all too perspicuous when she saw the devil behind him, pressing a gun into the back of his head that he held in his dead hand, still with the phone in his other. He was staring at her, or rather, glancing at her as he immediately took his attention away from her, looked forward with this repulsive look in his atrocious eyes that disappeared behind his closing eyelids. He took a short breath.

“NO!” Chloe screamed, jumping forward with her heart thrusting inside of her heart and neither of her feet touching the ground as the trigger was pulled, the bullet making its way through her grandfather’s skull as if it was butter, the massive shockwave, given the immensely close distance, created a circular hole rimmed with abraded skin, the bullet pushing tissue out of the way beyond their breaking points and lead to the tissue snapping back toward the opening and overshoot like a half peeled orange.  A burst of tiny pieces of skull and lumps of flesh scattered, painted the couch red, painted Ethan’s brown jacket red… sounds similar to dropping a tiny wet rag on the floor began passing through the room almost systematically, followed by a loud thud as the disfigured face of an old man collapsed onto the wooden floor, and then his lifeless body. Blood- way too much of it- began forming a red pool around his fractured head, the flesh in the wound was severely burned, but all Chloe could focus on was his eyes that popped slightly out of their sockets and his open mouth with his tongue drooping out.

In the course of one single second, a life had ended and in the passing of the next, a girl was emptied of everything, every emotion, only to be filled back up in an instant. She felt her heart burst into pieces, scattering around her body and beating like a hammer in every muscle. Never had she felt so heavy while still floating, turning and spinning in midair with a screaming piercing her ears. She could have sworn it was her own, she knew her mouth was closed shut, but still, when her hand reached for her face she felt her teeth banging against the palm of her hand and every single hair on her quivering body stood straight up as if electricity was shooting up and down her limbs. She felt all this, yet, felt nothing in that single passing second.

“I- I- I’m- no, I’m go-“ The scream stopped, replaced with stuttering words through her inhaling breath, her vision blurry, darkened, murky, but so painfully clear when she looked at the man with the gun. The murderer with his right hand shaking, his eyes wide open and his expression stone-cold.  
“I’M- I’M GONNA FUC- FUCKING KILL YOU!” 

As Chloe took a swift step forward, her fists tightened, her whole body exuding with anger. A lump of saliva and slime her throat had unnoticeably coughed up was forced out of her mouth in her rapid movement and just as the sickly-colored slime hit the floor, a furious fist, tightened so hard that her knuckles cracked and her fingernails digging into her skin, was pulled back and all Ethan did was look at her with that same expression as the fist came flying toward him, a white flash exploding when, with all her force, Chloe punched the brute in his cheekbone and in that very moment, time sped up. Ethan violently fell to the ground with a grating cough as a chunk of a tooth flew out of his mouth. Chloe could instantly feel that the impact of the heedless punch had broken a bone or two in her hand, but it just filled her with more rage and more desire to get revenge. Seeing the devil lying before her, smeared in the blood of his sins, Chloe pulled her foot back, curled her toes inside of her shoes and kicked him wrathfully in the stomach, forcing him to cough up his own mortality.  
Chloe’s weeping yells filled the room as she repeatedly propelled her foot at every uncovered part of his depraved body, and he was forced to take it. To feel the pain.

But in the moment Chloe pulled her foot back once more, he turned his head and looked at her with a mysterious gaze in his bloodshot eyes.  
“One flash before the line gets blurry” Two deadened voices in one.  
  
…  
  
“Alfred is okay. I will not hurt him as long as you follow the rules and do as I say. That goes for you, Max, and Ted as well”

Upon hearing his poised voice once more, the bottom of her stomach felt something. Something else than fear. There was still a covert anger inside of her that had been overshadowed by other matters but was now fueled by the desire of revenge.

_That fucking psycho! Gramps has nothing to do with this! ‘I will not hurt him, as long as you follow the rules’? You’re not going to hurt him Ethan, but I’m not going to follow your fucking rules. All that stops now._

“Don’t” A sudden gasp came from behind her.  
“Don’t leave the room” Chloe turned around to see Max with her trembling hand in the air and a detached expression upon her whitened face. The midday light highlighted it so clearly and helped carry along her hoarse voice, showing her in the state she despised the most.

“Don’t reverse time without me telling you” Chloe’s tones so flat, but so descriptively authorized. She looked down at Max, sitting uneasily on the bed as if she was cramped between invisible walls and felt her distance from personal emotions, then glanced at Ted, standing as if he was chained to the table behind him with a completely nonplussed expression. 

“But if you go down there-“ Max tried to explain with her arched eyebrows and pouty lips shaped on her open mouth to add to shock-value, but Chloe cut her off with a snarl.

“I don’t care! Let me make my own fucking choices for once! Ethan is downstairs with MY granddad, so it’s MY fucking– …look, just stay out of it and don’t reverse time! If it all goes to hell, it would be my fault for once, the fucking spotlight of blame would be upon me and that’s what I want!” In between the short pauses that strangled the air, Chloe deliberately gritted her teeth together with reckless force.  
“So listen to my words, read my lips…” Her eyelids opened up, revealing her eyes that had this frantic stare to them as she leaned her head forward and from all the way down her hip, pointed to her lips with an extended finger.  
“If something goes wrong, don’t blame yourself for not reversing time, because I have and will make this very clear…” Her face gradually became redder, her chest lifting with each breath of tension filled air.  
“I am ordering you to not reverse time and let me take the consequences of my own goddamn actions!”  The words that had been stored away for months in the bottom of her stomach were encrusted in suppressed anger and regret, and Max was quick to not let Chloe get lost in something higher than herself and the situation.

“This is not about you! It’s about-“ Her words washed away her expression and she felt the sting when she was cut off once more, but this time without words, without a voice, only an imperious gesture from Chloe. She flipped her hand in front of her as if she hoping some wall would magically ascend between them. They both held their breaths for only a second as Chloe gave a far-reaching glare before turning around, twisting her neck and bit her lip to dig herself deeper into the anger as she shifted on her feet, made a silent growl and rushed out of the door.  
  
Max could only curse her stupidity as she heard her swift steps down the stairs, down to the cause of pain and fault.  
“You moron! Alfred is gonna die!” Max exclaimed with rage at the open door with a desire to run down with her and hit her in the back of her head, but knew she was too numb, knew it was no use.

“Have you both lost your minds or am I missing something here?!” Ted suddenly spoke up, frantically taking two steps forward with his eyes looking at the corners of the walls.

“You wanna know what’s going on?!” Dropping her limp hands onto the surface of the bed, Max bawled frenetically.  
“Chloe is a fucking burden and I have to keep saving her while being forced to listen to her bitch about how everything is my fault! And because of this, Ethan will shoot who I assume is Alfred based on Chloe’s screams that you’ll hear now” Just as she let out these annoyed words, a scratchy scream, loud as all hell came from downstairs just after the sound of a gunshot.

Ted just managed to form a shocked expression on his pale face, before Max sighed aggrievedly.

“And I can reverse time” Raising her hand in the air, her bottom lip trembled and she took a few short breaths to the sounds of yelling and kicking. A sharp pain rushed through her head when she closed her eyes and she felt her body draining itself of energy that shouldn’t even exist. Her thoughts wandered away into the shadows of her mind and could feel herself slowly falling.  
  
…  
  
Her eyes opened automatically, but her vision disconcertedly unclear, her mind unable to process the images before her and it brought a nauseating feeling to her guts.  
“Stay” The single word was all her being could muster out with the second reversal having taken an excessive toll on her and she could only guess how Chloe would react the exact same way as last time. However, there was a second of hesitation when she saw Max’s blue lips and the blood running down her nose as if she for one fleeting second actually had her feet on the ground.

“Max, don’t reverse time” but how unaware she became once more, how damaged her mind had grown in the miserable travel.  
“I don’t know how many times you’ve done it, but I can see it’s been more than once, so I know that I’m about to fuck something up, but-“ Max prepared herself for her friend’s refusal and blind denial of the world.  
“I no longer want your powers to be a part of my life. I don’t want you to change fate anymore, at least not when it involves me! So let me fuck up my life alone!” A gathering of old emotions wrapped in the perturbation of the present and it tore a hole in Max when it lead her friend to turn around for the third time, about to ignore the very utterance that could save them from the dark depths of another ended life, and Max had no energy to reverse time once more.  
She had to act now.

“Ted!” Max forced out her voice with a shriek, catching the boy’s attention who was now standing in the corner again, having simply observed the belligerent words of rancor, unaware he had done it in three different timelines. Although he seemed as confused as ever, he shot his eyes open and looked over at Max.  
“Stop Chloe from getting out of this room! I’m fucking serious!” Not having the energy nor the time to explain any further, she used the blood running down her nose to her advantage to portray the severe request and possibly frightening him into obeying.

Although he clearly hesitated, the blue eyes surrounded by red got through to him and prompted him to turn his attention at Chloe who took her first running step towards the door. “Fuck” He uttered in a complete state of confusion and shock, but followed instructions and rapidly leaped from his position and wrapped his arm around Chloe’s collar as she instantly tried to force her way out of his grab. “Get off asshole!” Chloe demanded while trying to elbow Ted around his stomach, but whether it was because Ted had been in several fights before or if it was because Chloe was dead-tired, Ted managed to flip his left foot behind Chloe and with a sweeping motion, forced Chloe off of her feet, making her fall backward and sent the phone in her hand flying. Ted was quick to put his hand in the back of her head just before Chloe landed heavily onto the floor on her back, and immediately placed his two hands on Chloe’s wrists and sat on top of her to keep her restrained. Although his eyes still portrayed his shock, his body had switched into some sort of fighting mode, knowing exactly how to restrain Chloe without hurting her. “Calm down!” The air he used to shout, shot away some of his hair that had fallen down his face in the turmoil.

“FUCK OFF!” Chloe demanded while struggling against Ted’s lash, but only being able to flail her head around in anger.  
“AAAHH!” In complete hysteria, Chloe followed her yell by trying to spit on Ted on top of her, but only hitting his sleeve. It was clear Ted tried to say something, either apologize or ask one of the many questions on his tongue, but he was too occupied with restraining Chloe.  
A final flail pushed Chloe’s head in a position where she stared wildly at Max upside down with her chill breaths becoming deep and fierce only to shoot out with frustration.  
“You feel nothing!” The pass of a yell smeared in desperation of letting go and break the fissured glass.  
“You don’t have the sanity- you don’t have the fucking right to make decisions right now!” The struggling against the boy on top of her had stopped, but the struggle of digging so deep down a hole that had always been empty, continued. A passed emotion kept her voice intact for these spontaneous yells.  
“Your emotions have been stripped from you! You’ve been worn down into an inconsolable piece of forgotten hope and just because you’re pushing away everything that could pull you up from the hole you call your fucking life, doesn’t mean that I have to!” The nails on her strained hands were scratching the carpet floor her flexed body were lying on as her eyes engulfed themselves in indignation but the unseen parts of her wavering face wept in desolation.  
“And you know why- why you’re pushing people away- why you are willing to make me feel like shit to keep yourself down in your depressed piece of shit-pit?” Left by all beauty and innocence, Chloe talked through glass and craved the freedom of choice attained by cutting her wings and draw a line across the grace.   
“Because you like it… you like not having anything to fight for. You fucking love not having to be brave anymore, so you’ve found comfort in your suffering, but I am not done yet! I still need to fight for my life- the life I know I want! SO LET ME GO AND LET ME DO WHAT I WANT FOR ONCE!” Her scruffy black nails began scratching the carpet floor once more, the bones in her wrists twisting and turning.

The words ‘for once’ kept bouncing around the room, repeatedly echoing inside of Max’s clustered head and were it not for the calamitous circumstances and Chloe’s wrath-filled expression, Max would have burst out laughing at the irony of her mendacious words. But the fact that Chloe couldn’t see the laughable comedy in her own statements, sparked something else entirely. A tiresome feeling of being affected by empty words, making every complex situation seem so damn simple and by result, making Max seem absolutely incompetent.  
  
“Then tell me what I am supposed to feel! I’ve been through the fucking spectrum of emotions and it seems that it’s only absolute misery that seems to stick, so yeah, I’m trying to find comfort in that! I’ve been trying Chloe, trying hard, but I keep slipping on the past” A short pause, not long enough for her to take a breath.   
“I’m sick! I’m corrupt! I’m destructive! I am just the worst fucking person in the world!” The eerie contrast between her raised voice, her striking words, and her utterly still posture brought an unprepared sense of urgency to Chloe.  
“I want to make things right, I really do, but it’s like I am fucking destined to be the scapegoat!” The only thing changed in her expression, the only thing that hinted towards the pain was the redness at the bottom of her eyes.  
“So tell me! Do you want me to give you my blessings to go downstairs and screw everything up, do you want me to leave you alone so you can watch you grandfather die? What do you want from me!?”

Finally, the crack in her skin of stone appeared and it was an unforeseen power of vehemence that forced her to shoot her chest out with a poisonous glare.

Chloe’s breath sped up rapidly, then held down for a single moment that felt like a fracture in time.  
  
“I want you to love me!” All the attention had been averted and in the breaking outburst, Chloe freed the lock on her right wrist and before Ted could react, he was pushed to the side and fell hard onto the floor with a grunt.  
“Why do you think you’re so miserable!? Why do you think I can’t fall asleep at night without something to constantly distract me?!” Amidst her dreary words, Chloe pulled herself off from the floor slowly with her face looking down, her bangs covering her eyes.  
“It’s not fucking fear!” She panted in every hearth-throbbing pause with her arms limping down. Ted had shuffled a little away, holding a hand to the back of his head in pain, looking unsure of his next course of action, leading him to just await instructions from Max, who were currently occupied by her friend slowly approaching her.  
“Anxiety is just a by-product- just a fucking drop in the ocean that forces my breath shut and my screams mute!” When she finally lifted her chin, the dim light revealed her pale face and dry lips, the struggle having taken every resource it could find in her body.  
“And it’s so dark, Max. So endlessly dark, but do you know- know what that little light that reaches out is? It’s the fucking reason that we’re here!” Amidst her imparting sentence, she took two loud steps closer to Max, instinctively making her pull her body back but she was grabbed hard on the shoulder and pulled even closer, the blue-haired girl wanting to make sure she listened closely.  
“We’re up to our necks in blood and the only thing we have to show for it- the tiny little string that keeps me from jumping out from a roof and laugh on the way down-” She must’ve blinked in the brief second that it happened as Max suddenly felt the touch of Chloe’s cold palm on her other hand against her cheek, sliding up her face, through her uncombed brown hair, ripping apart the tiny knots in-between her fingers. She had felt her hand on her face several times before, but never had it felt so hostile, so thirsty for attention on its glacial skin. It continued up her forehead and only stopped when every stray of hair had been completely removed from Max’s face, revealing her drawn face, her eyes that were shaking with some underlying fear of being cut to pieces from the inside by her razor-sharp voice, and she could scarcely sit still, only breathe through her nose and keep her eyes open when Chloe’s dry lips departed.  
“Is us. We are the outcome of the fucked-up sacrifice, and I cannot stand the idea of us not being together!” The slight squeeze on her shoulder that she used to love getting by Chloe had turned into a painful clutch, and Ted that had gotten up from the ground could tell all too well that something was about to give and for all her knew, the understandable impression he had gotten, was that Chloe- both of them actually- had lost their minds.  
“Not because you’re oh so fucking sweet and loveable, but because, if we’re not together, those people, Kate, Warren, my mom and dad, what would they have died for? Absolutely nothing!” In the thick of Chloe’s harsh words, Ted swiftly turned on his feet and began walking over to them to pull Chloe away in fear of her hurting Max, but as soon she noticed him lifting his arms, Max gave him a quick look from the corner of her eyes and signaled for him to stay put which he hesitantly obeyed.  
“So here’s the punchline, Max” Chloe continued with a somber expression.  
“You literally have a hold on my heart that I cannot break, even if I wanted to” Her eyes moved from side to side, scanning her face intensely.  
“…And I’ve wanted to” The grip on her shoulder got looser, the hand on her forehead was slowly lifted, making Max’s bangs fall into place, covering parts of her attentive eyes.  
“So the least you can do, no- the only thing you SHOULD do,” Suddenly, Chloe bend down and moved her face so close to Max’s she nearly head-butted her but instead settled her forehead against hers and for the single second she stayed, a cold breath spread across Max’s face, yearning for both solicitude and compassion.  
“Is to love me back!” But when the paused ended and the reaction had failed to play, Chloe raised her voice and stared so deeply into Max’s eyes as if she was searching her very soul for intimations, and with her face so close, all Max could see was the tiny details of her face that helped shape her expression so clearly and so inimically.  
“You made that choice up on the hill. You made me fall in love with you in some fucked up way” Once more, Chloe’s hands began moving around, but this time it was gentle, careful and protective. She was cupping her face, stroking both cheeks with her thumbs as her head slowly tilted down, her lips inching closer.  
“The hardest shit we’ve been through was all to preserve what could be, what became, and what needs to stay” Max saw the future in her bloodshot eyes, the hope that was mentally building inside of her. And it waited.  
“So tell me, Max. Look at nothing but me, think of nothing but me, and then tell me…” It waited for what seemed like hours.  
“Do you love me?” Days. Weeks. Months. The hope waited patiently; waiting to trust, waiting to breathe, just waiting to smile one more time.  
  
And how that hope wept when the binding answer came to be…  
  
  
  
“…No”  
  
  
  
Time had seemed to pass by so quickly, the lavish memories were just yesterday’s trials, the marks of each other’s touches still present, but this moment, this quiet- hauntingly silent moment, lasted for an eternity; because, even though Chloe removed her hands from Max’s face, even though her eyes closed shut and forced out a tear, even though she got up and turned around, away from the fade, even though Chloe did all that and continued to walk tall, that moment, that answer… she felt the room it had made inside of her brain, the part of her brain that was so wonderfully cozy and free from the storms and the noise that it would never leave.  
Amidst all the confusion and all the unanswered questions, there was one thing Ted could understand, one thing he knew for certain as he watched the blue-haired girl pick up the phone from the ground with subtle changes in her expression, but without a blink of her glassy eyes; he knew that this girl had just gotten her heart broken.  
  
All he could do, all Max could do, was to watch her lift the phone up to her ear, take a short pause and then speak.  
“What do you want us to do?”

The single thought that passed Max with an unbridled nagging, was a question to herself. So much sorrow and so much grief, so much shattered hope and so much ache, it was all, in this very moment, an overwhelming sensation of desolation, and so she questioned herself; why couldn’t she cry?


	39. Day Three

It took a second with Chloe hunching over herself with the phone taped to her ear before Ted decided he would confuse his fear with confidence and spoke up.  
“Okay, as much as I hate to interfere with people’s personal lives, I sort of feel like I have the right to know what’s going, given that I might, you know, get killed by some psychopath”  
  
His shrieking voice caught some attention from Max in the action of a lazy turn of her head, while the other girl pressed the phone against her ear even tighter. A thin layer of sweat became visible on Ted’s forehead as he did a mechanic twist of his shoulder. The heat in the room became noticeable and the sun was at a perfect angle to shine through the window and inconvenience them all with its burning beams, but no doubt that apprehension had a role to play as well.

“That argument you just had that made it sound like Max killed a bunch of people- I heard the name Kate? And Chloe’s parents as well… I mean, I am willing to forget all that- I’m not saying I’m not a tad curious and just like, wildly terrified- but right now, I just a want a little information about this… situation taking place”  
Gesturing with his hands with a physical reaction to his worries, Ted turned from side to side trying to get any kind of serious attention.  
“You can skip the time travel stuff that Chloe mentioned, because I have already categorized that part as you both just being, like, crazy tired” His movements became so vivid that they could even hear his toes curling in his shoes, sliding against the sole repeatedly.  
“Or a metaphor that just flew right by my head”

Max finally decided to partly snap into the real world by running her nails across her palm, but the displeasure of Ted’s reaction to fear, which had shown to be rambling and quavering, caused Max to be less concerned about explaining Ted the details and more concerned about what Ethan was telling Chloe over the phone.  
“Ted, just be quiet for a second…” Her voice became a mixture of annoyance and dread, with the response she gave Chloe still gnawing in the back of her mind.  
  
“I would, but you know what? I won’t. Right now, I want answers and not both of you acting like I’m the delirious one here”  
It became clear that his otherwise respective nature had been pushed under the weight of anxiety and had by result pushed up his natural instincts.  
“I’m just gonna call the cops” He shook his head, his breath nearly a chuckle that made his fingers twitch slightly. 

“I would advise against that, Ted” The sudden voice of Ethan over the phone made both Ted and Max turn their heads towards Chloe who held out the phone in the palm of her hand, having put Ethan on speakerphone.

The life drained from Ted’s eyes as he slowly tried lifting one hand up to point at something or someone.  
“Aaaand, he knows my name”  
Ted, internally nodding to willingly accept his arriving demise, turned around and placed his palms on the table as Ethan continued.

“Let me allow to inform you of the situation” He spoke with such a carefree voice as if he was sitting in a comfortable chair at home while cupping a mug of coffee and not pressing a gun against the back of the head of an old man.  
“First of, you shouldn’t be frightened of me harming you”

Ted’s hand began crawling across the table as he squinted his eyes.  
“Why would I?” He spoke out with a high-pitched tone, insinuating his sarcasm.

“You must understand, Max and Chloe have been pushed way past their boundaries and they are currently in emotional distress, so even though I have no reason to harm you, I can’t speak on their behalf, so I suggest, for starters, you do as they say”

Rather than a sudden realization, it became an immediate consideration as he turned his head over his shoulder and handed out two quick stares to both the girls. He actually became unsure whether or not he should be afraid of them. 

“Unfortunately, even though my dissension is with the two girls, I cannot let you leave before the task is complete, as that would be too much of a liability” Ethan’s distorted voice through the phone gave a sinister undertone to every word and every prolonged breath.  
“With that out of the way, here is what is going on. Chloe, Max. You might benefit from paying attention as well”

Chloe, who had been holding out the phone, rolled her eyes and tightened her hand, all too aware of the becoming recap layered in a personal standpoint regarding the event.

“Max and I, can both reverse time. I know you don’t believe it, but I have no interest in proving it- neither does Max I presume- but that’s an important piece of the puzzle”

Immediately, Ted formed a combined expression on his face, wanting to cry and laugh at the same time, disputing with himself whether or not he should explain them all the laws of physics and downright prove how time-travel is impossible, but when Ethan continued at a fast pace, he decided against it.

“As you can guess, being able to reverse time has major benefits but forgetting the consequences is a dangerous mistake, something Max had to learn the hard way. Because of her careless use of this power, she disrupted the course of every person's fate, not to mention nature, all for her own and Chloe’s benefit. This eventually caused a storm in Arcadia Bay, a storm so big it threatened to destroy the entire town. Max had the opportunity to stop this, to save all the people who were unfortunate enough to be in Arcadia Bay during that time, but as you most likely know from the all the news stories about it, the storm destroyed most of the buildings and the vast majority of people died as a result. Kids, parents, uncles, aunts, sisters and brothers, sons and daughters”

Chloe was about to cut him off, to explain the reasoning behind what happened, but the aggressive stress she heard at the end, somehow held down her voice. She refused to be affected by his poisonous words once more, but for some reason, there was a strong emotion attached to his voice rather than the usual and cold assertion of a psychopath.

“Don’t get me wrong. Max didn’t allow this to happen because she didn’t care, oh no, she is painfully aware of her actions and it destroyed a piece of her that will never recover. The reason she didn’t stop the storm, was because of a girl. A girl that she loved”  
  
Max could see Chloe having to stop herself from turning her head towards her before she curled her lips and closed her eyes.

“As circumstance would have it, Chloe’s entity proved to be a direct link to the storm and for the storm to be stopped- or rather- to never have occurred, Max would have to travel back to the time where she saved Chloe’s life, and not intertwine with fate, thus ending the life of her best friend” A brief pause entered.  
“It proved to be too much for her, and instead of allowing Chloe to sacrifice herself to save her parents among hundreds of other innocent people, she decided that Chloe’s life had more value”  
  
Max felt her heart throbbing inside of her chest and her eyes began hurting, positive that they had turned red by the words that took her back to that life-changing moment.

“On paper, it almost sounds romantic I know, and believe me, I will be the first to admit I understand the choice Max took, but that doesn’t make it any less iniquitous and culpable. In reality, thousands of people had to attend funerals weeks after the storm Max allowed to occur. Mothers had to watch their children be lowered into the ground and the father had to console her while he tries not to crack under the unbearable amount of misery washing over him”

Both Chloe and Ted moved at the exact same time, both feeling too uncomfortable to just stand around, and while Chloe only took a few steps back to lean against one of the walls, Ted bend over the wooden table and wrapped his fingers around a soda can that had been hidden amidst the day old trash and small items.

“So even though Max will deny it, even though she will offer a different perspective, what she did, was immoral and ignoble. In that moment, she grew wings and flew up to heaven as if she were God… and look where she landed when her wings burned in the heat of the sun”  
  
With his thumb, Ted added pressure on the can, denting the metal, causing an unwelcoming metallic noise. 

“Down on the ground, weeping endlessly and feeling a detachment from the real world. And the life she saved… the girl she guarded, barely functions anymore. Constant panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, crippling survivor guilt”  
  
Another sound came to be as Chloe banged her head into the wall she was leaning against, hitting one of the taped posters showing a boy being lifted off the ground by two strings, each attached to a black bird.

“I understand that Chloe has already told Max about this, so I won’t keep it a secret for longer… I met this broken girl a few months ago. I helped her. She told me everything. Now she is fighting against me for reasons that may seem obvious”

Max became uncertain of why they were all lounging around, listening to stories of the past, secrets of the damned with no attempt to break in to stop Ethan from continuing. He was downstairs, holding a gun against Alfred’s head, but yet, it all passed by as if this was the moment in time they had to stay quiet and let the sealed wounds become unstitched. 

“See, I thought Chloe would be my last patient, but after I learned the truth… I had one more person to help”

Chloe had kept her eyes closed, the phone in her hand looking as if it was about to drop. It looked like she was falling asleep, her mouth half-open, her legs bend in the slightest of ways and her entire body just looking tired, even her dark clothes had obvious hints of being worn-out and her skin was nearly a sickly grey color, but it was odd that Max still felt somewhat drawn to her, yet wanting to… close her eyes and wish her away.

“So Ted… Chloe… Max. I know what I’ve done to your both has been extreme and even cruel, but I did not cause you sorrow, I simply made you confront it. All the emotions you’ve been feeling are your own… suppressed feelings that I wanted you to deal with, but under these extreme circumstances, I had to force it out”

Once more, Max flipped her attention towards Chloe, positive she was about to speak up, to yell at him, to curse the lies right out of him, but the more she waited for her to do what she expected of her, the more she felt disappointed. She didn’t even flinch, but her eyes were now open… so why didn’t she yell out something like she had always done?

“Considering all that… am I really the one person you should have nightmares about?”  
It went hand-in-hand as Ethan’s words passed her the exact moment she felt more sinful than ever before. “Because my nightmares… are haunted by you two”

Max acknowledged his words, and she was too tired to pretend she didn’t understand where he was coming from, but the last thing she couldn’t kick herself for, was the fact that even though on some level she might have deserved all this, she knew that Chloe and Ted shouldn’t share her damnation and for that reason alone, she took a breath and prepared to say exactly that. 

“Ethan” But almost as if she knew, Chloe spoke just a second before her.  
“This has gone on for far too long. You may believe that you’re doing the world some favor, but what you’ve done… to us”  
It sounded as if she was out of breath, sucking in air amidst some of her words.  
“It’s not justice. If anything, it’s revenge… revenge that is not yours to take”  
It seemed like she understood that this was the last attempt she got to have a say in the matter, but she barely tried to convey any emotions in her voice, or even worse, she actually did her best but found none.   
“Despite that, you have succeeded in making me and Max break each other. We’ve seen our lowest- the darkest reflections of ourselves and yet, we still don’t know for what purpose”  
Chloe looked down at the phone, then moved her eyes towards Max and her head followed with a delay.  
“And even when this is done, your effects will still linger until our death, because… I didn’t know it could happen, I didn’t dare to believe it, but… I lost the one thing that I never thought I could lose”  
Her body was fighting to look away as it clearly felt the cause of pain, but her dim eyes had locked onto her, savoring the burn in the stomach and using it to harden her skin…  
“So please, just tell me- tell us… what is the final challenge?” Until her eyes fell down again.

In the passing of a silent second, a shadow crept in from the window and darkened only a few inches of the room, but what Max saw was not the broken piece of darkness. She saw a disturbance in the air, like reflecting heat on a highway, small waves tricking the vision and confusing the mind. She took a breath to remind herself that she was still within her body, but she still felt as if she was floating above the ground, paralyzed. Was this simply another sensation of sleep deprivation? 

“Wow, hey, pause for a second”  
As soon as Ted spoke up with a frantic tone, Max was forced to snap partly back into reality and stay there by focusing entirely on his words.  
“That was a lot to take in and I’ll be honest, and I know you’ll just shake your heads, but you’re all freaking insane”  
  
But no one shook their heads. Chloe even gave a disheartened smile at the mention.

“Ethan spouting nonsense about Max causing the storm is one thing, but the fact that you’re not denying it?!...”  
He tightened his hand, the can around his fingers being deformed in all sort of ways, creating the same sound as before, but even louder and longer lasting.

Max quickly wondered how she in any way could make Ted understand, but in the combination of her hazy state and the sheer delirium of the situation, there was no way she could manage to convince Ted that Ethan wasn’t lying about their powers.

“Ted, we never meant for you to be a part of this and if-“ She tried a different approach, but it immediately fell flat as Ted frustratingly interrupted her.

“Nah nah, you just keep your mouth shut”  
It was clear that was hyperventilating; the sort of breathing you only hear when running a marathon with your lips sealed around a straw, and even though she was yelled at, Max still felt bad for him, or at least, she knew she should.  
“I can understand that you’re all really messed up, maybe you’re on drugs, maybe I’m on drugs, but talking about Arcadia Bay like that is really messed up, and what is this about a challenge? We about to destroy Kentucky now?” His eyes wandered around, not taking a second to focus on anything while he ran his thumb across one of the sharp edges he had created around the can and Chloe responded by pushing herself away from the wall and finally opening her eyes wide.

“Stop freaking out! And stop fucking messing with that can or whatever it is you’re doing! If you can’t accept what is going on, just stay quiet. Or jump out of the window for all I care”

As she watched Chloe’s angry curves on her face, Max silently cursed the universe for giving her time-travel powers, rather than mind-reading powers. So many things she would do to just get a few seconds inside of Chloe’s mind to hear the thoughts she was usually so keen on sharing, but was now encrypted in hostile words and spiteful expressions.  
  
“Oh, it’s a justifiable freak-out I am having right now, trust me” Ted, on the other hand, was more easy to read. He was just a usual boy stuck in an unusual situation and reacting like any sensible person would do; getting angry in the confusion, and getting confused in the anger.

Cowering in the present, slipping on the past, and handing over the future. Max spoke.   
“You can’t just accept the challenge on my behalf” And she looked down.

“What?” Chloe turned her head in surprise of hearing the voice directed towards her, instantly feeling distressed just by looking at her face.

“You were about to accept whatever challenge Ethan would have spun up, but we all know it’s about me and my powers, not you, so you can’t just take the lead”

In the remaining time she still had situational awareness, which felt like only seconds, it became apparent that whatever Ethan was plotting, it wouldn’t be an easy task and Chloe was in no place to make decisions for various reasons. 

“Eh, excuse me?! It’s my fucking grandfather that he’ll shoot if we don’t accept the challenge, so I think I have quite a big say in this”

It felt wrong that she heard Chloe’s words and even saw her pitiful expression, but couldn’t feel what she felt. She could read the signs of agony, it had just become instinct, but there was a disconnection, a faulty wire that stopped the part of her brain that stimulated sympathy, so even though she nodded slightly, it frightened her that she didn’t agree.

“Yeah, great, fight some more. That’ll make you seem more stable”  
Ted had mindlessly dropped the can on the ground somewhere amidst the exchanging words, losing his only distraction and now wearing a crooked smile on his lips that was in no way indicating joy of any kind.

“Ted, shut up!” Angry about the constant interruption, Chloe yelled these words but didn’t even grant Ted the respect of looking at him.

“NO! YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! It’s not like I don’t have a mother waiting for me at home! I don’t want to die, so quit acting as if I’m just a disposable piece!”

Max could recognize the desperation and energy Ted presented, which was very similar to the way Chloe and Max acted in the beginning of their troubles but had since then had their energy and willpower stripped from them. It made sense that Ted would act this aggressively as this was the beginning for him. 

“That’s not what I am saying! But I have more knowledge about what is going on, and frankly, your insights and remarks are fucking useless! The best chance at surviving you got, is by not interfering!”

However, Chloe still had some sort of desire to “win” the game, and even though she was clearly more worn-out than Ted, she still managed to raise her voice with a threatening pose.  
But unfortunately, this was not what the situation called for and despite Max knowing whichever way they turned they would still end up on the wrong side, she wanted to do this with consideration.

“We need to consider our options” It was not as if she had a plan in mind, other than silently climbing out the window which Chloe had suggested– for wildly different reasons- and look for help. But what would help even be? And she knew as soon as she saw the look on Chloe’s face, that she had said something wrong.  
  
“Oh, don’t you fucking go there!” Her anger shifted towards Max, her hands and arms nearly cramping up in all the tension.  
“If you’re even suggesting that we should sacrifice my grandfather…”  
It was an utterance that Max found peculiar, not prepared for Chloe to even think that this would be her suggestion. After all this, she had begun thinking less of her friend.

“Max”  
Ethan’s voice suddenly spoke from the phone once again after, for some reason, allowing the interruption, but within his next statement, it became clear as to why.  
“I am directing my message at you, because as of right now, you’re the most rational one. Ted is having an anxiety attack and Chloe is panic-stricken. You’re deeply depressed and deprived of most feelings, but that means you're able to think somewhat coherently”  
He had been analyzing their reactions just by their voices and words, categorizing their mental state.  
“Before you choose whether or not to accept my task, I ask one thing of you”

Chloe silently mouthed some words, which appeared to be repeating the word “panic-stricken” in a sardonic manner, seemingly annoyed that Ethan singled out Max as if they were fighting for his attention.

“Please, open up the purple purse on the table and look inside”

She felt the thump in her chest and chill on her neck when all three of them looked over at the table behind Ted, seeing the purple purse lying unnoticeably behind some books and bowls Chloe and Max had used to eat their cereal the day before. How Ethan in any feasible way knew about the purse, was something that could barely be questioned at this point.

“Hang on” Max quickly thought it through and gestured for Chloe and Ted to be quiet as she took a breath and leaned her head a little closer towards the phone in Chloe’s hand.   
“There’s no purple purse here” Chloe was the first to tilt her head in a questioning way but was also the first to catch on to what Max was attempting and lowered her head in understanding, with Ted fixating his eyes on the purse to then make a sudden realization.

“What?” He hesitated a little, but Max could see all too clearly in his brown eyes that he was about to ruin her plan.  
“Is that Tiffany’s purse?! What the fuck is it doing here?!” Indeed, he yelled it so frustratingly loud that even though Chloe swiftly tried to cover the phone with the palm of her hand, there was no way that Ethan didn’t hear it.

“For fuck's sake” Chloe hissed at him, legitimately looking as if she was trying to kill Ted with her frantic eyes, but Ted simply curled his hand around his thumb and titled his body to the left.

“Yeah, like acting as if there’s no purse would make him surrender”

At this point, Max got increasingly annoyed as well. She could understand that Ted wouldn’t be able to catch on that she had tried to play Ethan, given that he didn’t know how he basked in having the upper-hand, but the least he could do was to stay quiet as Chloe had told him.

“Now, why do you have Tiffany’s purse? Is she here?!” He began looking around the room, apparently uncertain whether or not he had missed a full-grown person hiding in the corner during his overdue stay.

“She just left it in the car and we took it in, you idiot” Chloe’s words finally seemed to strike a chord with him as he pulled a little back, looking very uncertain and frightened.    
  
“Look, I’m sorry, but Jesus… I don’t know what I should or shouldn’t do”

His distress was not misplaced and Ted’s emotions had shown not to be entirely consistent, as he could go from happy to scared in just a few seconds, which Max remembered when she yelled at him in the car when they were searching for Chloe the other day. It was perhaps something to do with the fact that he had some type of schizophrenia as Tiffany had told her, but as far as Max knew, schizophrenia meant sometimes being unable to distinguish reality from imagination, but she had yet to see a clear symptom of that. However, rapid mood changes could very well be a side effect of such a disorder, but under such stress, one would think it could cause some sort of paroxysm.   
In line with that thought, Max could actually feel a sort of ache in her stomach.

“It’s fine, Ted. Ethan is to blame. Just try to stay quiet and relax. You’ll be home soon, I promise”  
Max wasn’t entirely sure why she’d make such a promise, maybe it was simply the logical approach in an alternative attempt to calm him down, but on the other hand, it wouldn’t be implausible that Ethan somehow knew Ted would be here– he did know his name after all, so the possibility of Ted playing a part of the final challenge was to be of actual concern.

“Okay”  
Max had barely noticed his hesitation, but she clearly saw him nervously nod and retract a little.

Maybe if he were a part of Ethan’s plan, they could use this to their advantage?

“There’s no reason to try and play me like you did at the mall. You don’t need to make any decision yet, I only ask of you to open up the purse and look at the content inside”  
Time seemed to pass by so quickly when Ethan spoke up once more, yet, every movement felt slow and groggy, but despite her dizziness, Max shuffled to the edge of the bed and got on her feet. She felt weak as if she hadn’t used her muscles in days, but the way she saw it, there were two reasons that it was her alone that went to check that purse… such a seemingly tedious task, but in retrospect, quite significant. The first reason was the obvious one; Ethan told her to do so. It had actually calmed her that he did since that limited the options of context in the bag. It couldn’t be something dangerous, something that would explode or anything, as it was so painstakingly clear that he needed Max.  
The second reason was the silently agreed group decision. Even though Chloe scoffed at the denouement, Max had taken the leading role, at least for now. 

“Careful,” Ted said in a low tone but bit his lip just as the word came out.

As Max went to open the purse, a couple of thoughts hit her. Mostly regarding the fact that Tiffany was undoubtedly the last person who had been in contact with the purse, besides Chloe, which indicated that Tiffany could be working with Ethan if there were to be anything out of the ordinary in the purse.  
She wouldn’t be surprised…

“What is it?” Chloe asked the second Max had opened up the purse, and while there were a few items in there, lipstick, eyeliner, candy wrapping, and some change, there was no question as to what the conspicuous item was.

“It’s a picture” She answered while taking out the frayed image, two of the edges were brown and it felt as if it had been drenched in water and then dried.  
  
“Yeah, I see that, but what does it show?” Chloe continued impatiently while running a nail across her eyelid to remove some black mascara that had become stuck around the corner.

Max waited a little with her response as she analyzed the image closer, trying her best to determine why this photo had any significance…

“It shows a young girl”  
Chloe flinched, startled when Ethan’s voice came from the phone in her hand once again and she seemed to whisper some profanity to herself.

“Her name is Cecilie. She’s only four years old in that photo”

Max kept her focus on the photo as the monotone voice of Ethan passed her ears.

_Cecilie…_

The young girl on the photo was lying down on a brown couch, her eyes closed and partially covered by her thin, brown hair. It was a dark image, barely any light to highlight any features whatsoever, even the color of clothes she was wearing was a guessing game. The only clear detail Max could observe was her parted pink lips, and the small plushy just next to the shoulder she was lying on. However, there seemed to be a shadow of a person dragged across the carpet floor in the corner of the image, but it was difficult to tell.  

_Sounds like a Scandinavian name…_

“Around six months ago, Cecilie was at home, preparing to visit her grandfather a few weeks after her eight birthday”  
When he spoke again, it was noticeable how Chloe had moved around the room, the sound coming from a different position.  
“Her grandfather, Itamar, 67 years old, lived quite a distance away, so Cecilie rarely got to see him despite how well they got along. Her father, who was admittedly nervous about Cecilie being so far away from home, away from her father and mother, drove her all the way to her grandfather. It was only for a week, and Itamar was a good man, so there wasn’t much to worry about”

Max lowered her arms and looked out the window behind the table with a disquieting expression. When she heard the drop in Ethan’s voice, it was easy to tell why the image had significance.

“Or there shouldn’t have been” The clash of his teeth clicked through the phone, the sound of nails carving a straight line in leather became the indication of anger.

“No” Such familiar emotions showed their evocative faces once more; unwelcome but unstoppable. It felt old but still had the same effect as being brand new, the stress and the trauma. Constantly being reminded, constantly adding on to her ailing mind and erasing what was once a place of beauty. She wanted to say she felt bad, that she felt happy that she felt bad, and felt horrible that she felt sympathy, but alive that she felt remorse. But right now, all she really focused on, all she could focus on, was the fact that she felt.

“It was unfortunate- you might say fucking horrific that Cecilie’s grandfather lived in Arcadia Bay”

Max stood still for a second, already knowing Ethan’s future words, but scared to look too far ahead. She was frightened to make the connections from the loose ends that popped into her head, and rather than jumping ahead to the end and accept the breaking-point she knew was ahead, she simply did her best to shut off her mind and turned around. Ted was standing near the corner, knowing he were to stay quiet but it was obvious he couldn’t say anything even he wanted to. The look on Chloe’s face revealed that she was having similar struggles as Max did, but had been through enough to realize when there was no fight to be had, and she, too, stayed quiet. It was as if they all accepted the next few minutes, and with a heavy heart, decided to grant Ethan the silence his voice so patently demanded.

“And yeah… some weird stuff occurred the first few days. Stranded whales, dying birds. On the phone with her father, she even mentioned something about two moons in the night sky. The father hid his unease behind a chuckle as he asked her how she was able to see the moon when her bedtime was at nine. With a quiet voice, she simply responded: “I’m scared. I wanna come home”

They knew it would last for a while and they began settling in their individual ways. Ted leaned back against one of the walls and began slowly sliding down with closed eyes. Chloe shook her head with a scoff and tossed the phone onto the nearby bed so she wouldn’t have to hold it through this blame-leading story. And Max, she followed the phone and sat back down on the bed rubbing the area underneath her eyes. Just listen to this planned story, this ethically packed, morally diminishing, dream scraping, revenge driven, and sadly candid tale of the past. 

“And you know, the father quickly recalled a memory from not so long ago and he told her: Remember when we were on that trip to Norway with mom and we stayed at this big campsite. You wanted chips, so I gave you a few dollars to go to the shop placed within the campsite and buy some. You walked no more than forty steps and found yourself lost. You couldn’t find the shop and you couldn’t find our tent. You began running in panic, screaming out for me and your mom, but we couldn’t hear you. Nobody around you understood what you were screaming, and you didn’t understand their questions. Remember what happened then? After five minutes I go looking for you, starting to get a little scared myself, when I find you up in a tree, gathering acorns with a smile on your face, your face clean of all the tears you had shed just a minute ago. I called for you, but you were so set on gathering ten acorns that you stayed in the tree, your fear completely gone. When you had all those acorns stuffed in your hands and pockets, we could finally go and get you some chips. So you see, it’s not the situation that was dangerous and made you scared, it was simply the first few seconds of shock that overcame you, but that all went away when you began focusing on something else. The fear was all in your head. You were not in danger then, are you certainly aren’t in danger now. All you need to do is look around, and enjoy the things around you. I’ll tell your grandfather to take you for a walk outside, let you climb some trees and buy you some chips, and only in a few days, you’ll be right back home with your mom and me”

His voice had altered, almost completely different from this cynical and superior tone he carried around like a trophy of some sort. Now, it had become guttural, his voice no longer a threat, but a memory.  
  
Max watched the shadows on the carpet becoming wider, vaster, and if there was anything left to tear away from her; she was uncertain. Then, maybe it wasn’t Ethan’s intention. They all knew where the story was going. Where it would end. The only thing she waited for, was how he would say it. If he would ask it, or demand it.  
She tried to imagine the images Ethan painted, tried to picture the little girl she had seen in the photo, smiling outside in the sun. Even though she knew she was setting herself up only to fall back down, for this moment in time, it freed her from the tiring repetition of dread.

“And now… not a day goes by where the father doesn’t regret his advice, because no matter how precious the story he told his daughter was, that memory will always be overshadowed by the call he received two days later. Sure, it was on the news first, a storm had hit Arcadia Bay and there were hundreds of casualties, but it was impossible that Cecilie was among those poor people. She was just a little girl after all, so there was no chance in hell that she deserved to die. Not a fucking chance!”

The voice had a source, but the echoes were all around, never-ending. The yell of the last sentence amplified in the empty space and lingering in the silence thereafter. She thought she heard Ted sob, and when she looked over, she saw him on the ground with his head on his knees and his arms curled around his legs, hiding his face completely and being as small as he could be. Subsequent to the sob was Chloe turning her head and spitting on the floor. Why she did something like that was uncertain, but unimportant. She probably just didn’t care anymore.

“But it’s not about justice, is it?! It certainly wasn’t back then! No, it was about a single selfish decision with no regard for the other people’s lives and the connections attached to them. Yeah, guilt may have been following you every day since then, depression, anxiety… but tell that to the father. Tell him how sorry you are that you took his daughter from him, tell him how miserable you’ve become and that you’ll never find peace in the world again, then watch his reaction closely”

And now Max just watched the shadow on the floor once again, consuming the small grains on the carpet, one by one. It was not to shield her from what Ethan was trying to plaster onto her, actually, if only she could tell him that he had already succeeded. She already felt the thing Ethan had worked so hard to make her feel. The word for such a feeling was mostly indescribable. Maybe it was like being a defective God. Not almighty, but given so much responsibility to hold in such tiny hands. Perhaps the word would be unworthy.

“It will just be an empty stare, a desolated look that begs the question…”

And she was unworthy.

“How could you?”

She was unfit.

“How could you take my little girl from me?”

Loathsome. 

“How could you take my little girl from me?”

Immoral.

“How could you take my little girl from me?”

Evil.

“Then listen as he tells you how his life has been after that day, and you will learn how his life fell apart”

They were all broken pieces, scattered in the ocean, holding their breath until it was gone. And how strange it felt to be torn apart by a broken man. How absurd it was that she felt that he was in it for revenge, but when all he actually wanted was to be put back together. How weird that he was now telling her how he came to be on the floor, destroyed. 

“His inability to go to work, his inability to eat and sleep, the constant sickness dwelling in his stomach, and the complete silence as he is scared to speak because he feels the guilt worse than you, because it was his daughter. It was his job to protect her, and he told her to stay where she was. He didn’t go get her when she was frightened”

_You can stop kicking me now._

Max chuckled inwardly, but couldn’t get her lips to move, couldn’t get her body to respond because some part of her didn’t want it to. Her eyes were already fixated on the perfect spot. The line on the floor between shadow and light and it was enchanting to see the carpet grains be engulfed in the shadow, one by one. She wondered how they felt, or would have felt, were they to have emotions. Did they think it was nighttime? Did they believe that they were punished for not being good carpet grains? Did they die in the shadows?

“So his wife just sat with him all day, not uttering a word, neither of them sharing their feelings, not even once. With the father unable to work, she had to be the strong one and began looking for a job. When she finally got it, the tiniest fragment of hope seems to spark because now… he sees her smile”

Max had forgotten that the voice came from a phone, as it now just seemed to come from the inside of her head, every emotion attached to it pulling another wire.

“But the problem… was that he still couldn’t”

And because of that, because Ethan’s voice was the first one she had heard so accessibly in a long time, it sparked a wondering, a truly sickening thought. Ethan was the only one Max had met that had time-travel powers as well, they were possibly the only ones in the entire world… so on some level, she actually wanted to sympathize with him.

“He couldn’t forget, he couldn’t move on, he could only live in the past. She couldn’t stand his weakness for any longer and asked for a divorce. She had tried to support him, but support goes both ways, and he couldn’t provide that, so she realized she would only get dragged down”

They were the only ones who knew the actual burden of such powers, how it truly felt with all that unwanted responsibility, but as it came to be, through bad luck or random events, they were enemies. Even their powers variated, although Max was still doubtful as to which extent. All she knew so far, was that Ethan couldn’t travel through images. It was a skill he had not yet acquired. 

“After a few weeks, quarter of a bottle of pills and a two hours of sleep to go on, the father showed up for work, having decided he would quit at the end of the day and mostly just being there to say goodbye to the people he still remembered. He just had one last patient to talk to, and he would quit. Go home”

His voice became so demoralized, and Max wished he would stop sounding so… miserable. 

“But the last patient, the last person he had to talk to, seemed so… special”

This was the first moment Chloe reacted to his words, but she reacted in a way that wasn’t meant to be noticed, and Max was sure that if she hadn’t been together with Chloe for so long, she wouldn’t have noticed her widened nostrils blowing out a silent puff of air and the roll of her eyes behind her closed eyelids.

“This girl… her problems were so familiar, not because of the way she described them, but because of the way she gritted her teeth every time he got close to something. He chose to stay at his job, just for a little longer to learn what was bothering this girl so much, that she couldn’t eat. That she couldn’t sleep…”  
  
Even Ted seemed to respond to what was being said by finally peeking a little over his knees and shooting Chloe a look that Max, unfortunately, couldn’t read. It was too empty. As if his mind was in a different place than his psychical body- a coping mechanism perhaps.

“And when he finally figured it out, it opened up so much. And all he could think about was no longer the death of his daughter…”

In the pause, Chloe looked away, Ted closed his eyes again, and Max stared absently at the phone.

“But the possibility of saving her”

She was right. She had been holding the handle, refusing to open the door until the someone else forced it open, letting in all of her apprehensions, but they were dulled so uncomfortably and because she could only hear such a tiny shred of what her emotions were yelling, there became doubt as to how to react.

“All I have done so far to you, Max, has been for the sole purpose of making you feel certain emotions, to remember specific memories, to plant different associations within your brain, to make you realize that the choice never went away and that you were just too scared to consider the possibilities and that’s why you agreed to never use you powers, so I had to force you to use them with an antipathetic mindset each time. That may sound counter-intuitive, but this aversion is a way for your brain to force you to take action by stimulating fear, however, the certainty of no positive outcome ruins your psyche which makes you distance yourself from making choices, but since the anxiety had been so intense, it overshadows other emotions and leaves you feeling otherwise empty, which will eventually create a sort of withdrawal effect that will make you long for doing it all over again, but with a different outcome in mind”

It should have been shocking, even Chloe’s quick stare at Max clearly showcased exactly that. Having it spelled out how Ethan had exploited her mind just made it seem laughable how simple the human brain actually was when placed into the context of influence. The control everyone thinks they have over their mind just seemed so circumstantial now. Freedom of will was something for people with options; the very options Max thought she had, but hearing this, hearing his accomplished plan, made her realize that she didn’t actually have much of a choice. She had always been destined to be right here at this very moment, in this specific situation, even with this fatalistic mindset; not because some higher power planned it, but because he wanted it. It was a more morose version of fate.

“I’m so… fucking sorry that I’ve manipulated you like this, but I had to make sure my question will be followed by a virtuous answer, because I knew if I just asked you these days ago you would have turned me down, but now you have been to every part of your brain and had to possibility to get a sense of who you really are…”

_Just a pawn._

“I can understand that it really is too much for you to sacrifice Chloe and if she means that much to you, then fine… but there’s something else that I just… need”

_I hate this._

 “So I ask you, Max… not as a psychopath trying to break you,”

 _I was safe._  
  
“but as a father”  
  
_I was loved._

“Will you please save my daughter?”


	40. Forgo and Foregone

Her mind tripped over itself, added another layer of drowsiness and through her closed eyelids, she saw the world spinning. She was certain there were no sounds nor voices, but an echoing clangor kept disturbing her ears and it made her dizzy. Just then she became partly conscious again, the comforting feeling of shutting down escaped her and when she felt that grisly grasp on reality, she became wide awake. She was still standing up on her two feet with her childhood friend and the young man she never did call her friend, and so she wondered how in the world she had enough time to nearly fall asleep without being interrupted. She briefly recalled what her mind had spelled inside of her failing mind, and how the situation she was in was so idiotically unreal. She almost gagged at how edgy she had been behaving. Like a teenage rebellion who had just put on her first spiked bracelet and started sucking in smoke through an E-cigarette because the smoke from an actual cigarette would scratch the throat. Wouldn’t it be nice, though? To be so angst-filled that when you really think about it, the problems that manifested your mind, was created and enhanced by yourself because you want something to feel bad about? Wanting to feel special so much that you’d be willing to run a razor blade over the surface of the skin on your bracelet-wearing arm.  
But then again, perhaps that is the kind of person she had become, only to a more extreme degree. An addict to pain and sorrow.

Her eyes still felt closed, but she saw her foot on the carpet next to a crumpled can.

_Wasn’t I wearing shoes?_

Her black socks were definitely still on both her feet, but without shoes.

_Hang on. Didn’t I destroy Chloe’s PC? Didn’t I throw it on the ground in anger? Why is it here?_

She became aware of how stupid and insane she sounded in her own head, with her short sentences and clueless thought process, but in this moment, she actually wondered whether or not she was still in the original timeline.  
She suddenly felt a finger touch her lightly on the side of her arm, but it was quickly retracted when she reacted to the touch and she looked up without deciding to do so. What she saw, was the face of Chloe who looked weirdly shocked, and somehow it sparked something inside Max. Seeing her friend expressing the emotion of surprise startled Max and she felt herself suddenly jerking her body backward with half-closed eyes. 

“What?” Max exclaimed with a thin breath while curling her fingers rapidly to get her blood flowing without deciding to do so.

“I think you zoned” Chloe kept her hands out as if she was preparing to catch her, but still kept her distance. Ted was standing a good few steps behind her, making absolutely no sound but observing closely.  
  
“Mmm,” Max groaned while closing her eyes again and taking an unstable step back while placing a hand on her stomach. She must’ve had somehow stepped on the crumbled can next to her, but she saw no blood and felt no pain so she became uncertain.

“I don’t think she’s alright” The quiet boy suddenly spoke up with a concerned voice from behind, sending a questioning eye towards Chloe. However, Chloe felt unable to make any sort of assessment on how to proceed as it still looked as if Max was about to pass out.

There was a definite cause for concern when Max hunched forwards with a small stumble and if she had it in her to speak, she would explain how she needed to throw up, but she was disorientated and her stomach felt so painfully empty. She clutched the side of her stomach and some made nauseating sounds just before she lowered her chin and her body’s involuntary reaction forced her to open her mouth wide, as for a moment she felt as if she was being strangled and couldn’t breathe. Then it rushed from her stomach, up to her chest, burning her throat and escaped her mouth. A thin, white, and milky mass dropped out of her mouth, barely even projected, and spread onto the floor. It was a small amount of puke, and there were clear signs in the white color that she was undernourished and the sounds she made sounded eminently unpleasant and painful.

“Shit! Max!” Rather than taking a step back as Ted swiftly did, Chloe pushed herself forward and placed a hand on her back and another on her chest to keep her from falling forward.  
“Goddammit. Are you okay? Do you ne- water! Ted! Run downstairs and get some water!” In any similar situation Chloe would have refrained from giving the task to someone else, but as it looked right now, she didn’t dare to leave her friend for a second.

“Do not leave the room” The damned voice from the phone lying on the bed suddenly spoke up with a blunt yet sturdy tone.

“Piss off, Ethan! She’s fucking pale! We need to get her to a hospital!”

Max heard Chloe’s muffled words passing through her head and came to slightly, enough to wonder why she felt so sick. In hindsight, it was exasperatingly obvious. A combination of sleep deprivation with the body in a constant state of fear, the lack of any food and water, and just the banging headache. 

“Get her to stand upright” He spoke up again, but this time the dullness was completely gone and his voice was clear cut and demanded attention while refraining from yelling.

A lot of considerations passed Chloe’s mind. Her instincts told her to ignore Ethan, tell him to die in a hole, but as Max had mentioned from time to time, he needed Max, so if Ethan hadn’t completely lost his mind, he wouldn’t hinder her well-being.  
With a subdued groan, Chloe pushed Max on the chest to get her to stand but had to react quickly as she nearly fell backward, so she had to resort to holding her like a stack of rocky chairs.

“She is standing now” Unexpectedly, it was Ted that suddenly spoke up with such a capitulating tone to his voice that it was almost sickening and Chloe had to turn her head and give him a mean look, fearing that he wasn’t convinced that Ethan was not someone to submit to.

“Are her eyes open?” Ethan questioned, sounding just like a doctor doing a check-up.

“Yeah” Chloe was quick to respond.

“Is she in a decorticate posture?” He continued.

Chloe raised her eyebrows and shook her head slightly.  
“I don’t know what that means”

“No, I’m not” Max groaned while lazily trying to swat away Chloe’s hold on her.  
“And this is a coherent verbal response, so you can stop with your… whatever” Lifting a hand to her head, Max sent a look towards Chloe and nodded to signal that she was somewhat fine.

Although she was hesitant, Chloe eventually removed her hands from Max but hovered them close.  
  
“Can’t everyone just… leave me alone?” She sounded so piercingly weak, her breath shaking every time she inhaled. Her body wearing itself down, using all of the resources inside her to just stay afoot.

Despite the request, Ethan was the first to respond.  
“Max, I can understand the toll this must have taken on your body and mind, but I promise you, you can rest all you want, without worrying about me, all you need to is just to go back in time one last time and do what I requested of you” The audacity that he had to talk about that now nearly made Chloe scream in frustration. He sounded so determined, but still so abasing.

“Are you fucking serious?” Chloe almost laughed at the callously.  
“She is in no condition to travel through time just to fix your shit!” She intentionally moved her head towards the phone and raised her volume to indicate her solemnity. 

She felt she had already said too many words to him, way more than he deserved. Also, given his manipulating approach, it was no use to argue with him.  
Everything simply went back to how it was just thoroughly pathetic that he was using Alfred as a hostage because that’s all he was good for. Threatening to harm innocents, like a forlorn coward. He had clearly instructed Alfred to keep quiet or else he would have spoken up by now following all the craziness. Either that, or he just had faith in Chloe that she would be able to handle herself. Something she felt very incapable of doing right now, but in the silence that followed Chloe’s yell, she prepared herself.

And after a few seconds, his voice passed from the phone once more.   
“I’m sorry, Chloe. But I am not talking to you”

For some reason, being unable to see Ethan, only watch the phone from which the sound came, made Chloe all the more angry as she could only imagine what kind of diminishing face he was pulling.

“You sure as shit are!” She was searing. Enough for her to walk away from Max who had unnoticeably shaken her head a few times, and Ted, who looked very eager to give his opinion on the matter, but held it down.  
“What you’re asking of Max could kill her, so I am in your way, dipshit!” With heavy steps, she walked over to the bed Max had previously been sitting and grabbed the phone, holding it at an angle in front of her mouth.

“For fuck's sake. Stop playing a hero. Stopping me will not be in anyone’s benefit” It was apparent how Ethan was about to lose patience, but there was no way Chloe would simply let him off the hook and convince Max to do this task. Even though they were talking to each other, it was evident how every word was meant for Max to hear.  

“Oh, really? I don’t think you can use that ‘I want justice for everybody’ as it has become pretty clear that you’re just a selfish asshole that only tortured Max for the benefit of yourself! Despite your fucked up ways, I could at least see a shred of sense when I thought you wanted to save the people of Arcadia or some shit. Now you’re just a miserable prick that can’t deal with the death of his daughter and acts like Max is the one with the morality issue” It was first when the words came out of her mouth that she truly realized it. Ethan was not a twisted justice-bringer, but simply a father who had been through so much trauma that he had become desperate and absolutely sick. But Chloe felt no sympathy whatsoever.

“Max’s morale would be fine if it wasn’t so consequential” Ethan sighed at the end of the sentence, apparently fed up with repeating himself.  
“Listen, Chloe. You should be able to understand that Max and I are more important than all other people. You can act offended or categorize me as a narcissist, but logically speaking, we have been given a power that raises our life-value”  
  
As soon as Chloe processed his words, she twisted her shoulder and shook her head to keep herself from being affected by his words.

“I can’t go on without my daughter. I can’t live without her” His very words that came out with such a dry tone.   
“But if she comes back… if I could be with her again, I would owe everyone, including you and Max, so much. I will do my best to do right by this world, with this power I have been given. I just need to know that the world isn’t fighting against me, so I in return can help the world. This one act of selfishness will be the beginning of my unselfishness tomorrow”    

After the last sentence slipped from his mouth, Chloe swiftly turned her head towards Max to make sure she wasn’t being manipulated by him yet again, as Chloe knew, no matter what he was saying, there was always a shady reason behind it.

But as it turned out, it wasn’t Max that had been deceived.  
“I’m sorry, but why not just do it?” It was Ted who looked so peevishly puzzled while waving his hand around, clearly being the one with the most energy out of the three of them.  
“I mean, in this crazy fantasy world you’re all living in, I can literally see nothing wrong with just doing what he asks. Granted, I don’t know the… implications of time travel as I never thought it would be something useful to study up on” And that energy gave him just enough vitality to throw a few sarcastic remarks in there, which had unfortunately failed to amuse Chloe during this time.  
“But here’s how I see it: Max goes back in time. Warns past-Ethan about the storm, his daughter is saved, Max goes forward in time to this moment, and we’ll never even have met Ethan! We wouldn’t be here, and you wouldn’t have had to endure all the shit he has put you through” He opened his palms facing upward and giving an insisting look to Chloe.

While Ted’s argument did make sense hypothetically, he was right when he said that he didn’t know about the implications of time travel, and there was so much more to be concerned about during the circumstances. Unnervingly, the look Chloe saw on Max’s face from the corner of her eye, revealed that she didn’t share her mindset.

Even in the storm of Max’s crumbling perception and her broken shell of a body, the last part of her aspiration made her muster a few alarming words.  
“He’s right. I’m going to do it” And how sure her words were of themselves, as if they had already turned the future around in her head but failed to see the filth.  
  
Just when the room became absent of all natural light in the shield of a dark cloud, Chloe felt her heart jump in her throat as she placed her hands down her waist in the least threating way she was able to while walking a few steps closer to her.  
“Max, I really want you to listen to me now” Her voice grew dire and her eyes locked onto the girl who’s attention was on the floor beneath her feet, but Chloe could tell she listened by her slow blinking.  
“I know you just want this to be over, and you know that right now, I have a lot to lose as well, but I don’t think you should change the past. I really don’t” Just before she came within arms reach of Max, Chloe stopped in her tracks, lowered her shoulders and bend ever so slightly down.  
“And this is not just because I resent Ethan… Listen… He wants you to go back in time and save his daughter, but…” In this small space they shared, Chloe tried to encapsulate her in this world and forget everything and everyone around her. To give her just a few seconds to relax her mind, and think without any predisposition.    
“Why do you think I haven’t asked you to do the same for me all this time? To just, go back in time and change a few minor things so my parents won’t die. And so our friends won’t die…” Her knees fell a little down and she turned her head just so she could get a glimpse of her friend’s face, and in return, show her hers to communicate that she was good-natured.  
“I don’t want to be happy at your expense, Max. It’s just not right” Very aware of her movements, Chloe began gradually lifting reaching her hand out.  
“Everything that has happened, every tragedy and every laugh has made us who we are right now, and yes, I do wish my parents were alive, but the blame is not on you. There is no blame to be placed”  
Chloe began exhaling through her nose and holding her breath as she felt her heart speeding up when she could see in Max’s eyes that she was listening to her every word, and never had her choice of words and careful approach seemed so crucial.  
“Through all this time, I’ve learned a lot about you, but the one of the most important things I’ve learned, is that I know that these powers of yours are unwanted. You never asked for them, and all they’ve done is made you doubt every decision you have ever made and ever will make… you can’t leave the past behind, and now it’s just time to… stop”  
Her hand hovered in front of Max, and Chloe felt the small pins in her palm, swiftly poking her and prompting her to retract. However, when she heard Max taking a breath, then swallowing, it was almost as if she prepared herself and Chloe kept her hand close.  
“There will always be things you could have done better, but if you keep acting on that shit, your life becomes a task of always chasing the perfect scenario, instead of just living a fucking human life. You’re a human, Max. Not a God. Not a machine”  
Where she found it in herself to continually encourage Max with words that weren’t even progressed in her head, she was uncertain. In this moment, she had somehow forgotten the heartbreaking pain she had caused her just minutes ago, but it was as if her grudge was shrouded in hope.    
“You’re not evil. You’re a girl, a girl that deserves to just… live, and not be used”  
It felt like one of those moments.  
“So as much serenity and emotion Ethan put into his request, I will make sure to match it and ask you, as the person who has been beside you through all of this…”  
It felt exactly like those moments when as soon as the person stopped talking, the girl would lift her head with a processed woe and give in and just hug the person who had done her best to console her, to guide her, to free her, and to love her.  
“Do not save his daughter”  
And then she would kiss her.  
It truly felt like one of those moments.  
  
But the girl didn’t lift her head. She didn’t change her expression and hugged Chloe who had done her best to help her.

She did not kiss her.

What she did instead… was to speak.  
“I’m sorry for what I have done to you and your family” Her gaze was clear, her tone so plain but her breath so disconcerting.  
“I think I’m done wallowing in sadness, though” She turned her head slightly.  
“I should stop trying to make this work. Trying to get over what I’ve done isn’t working, Chloe” Her eyes cowered in the opportunity to look at her friend and she even squirmed as if she was trying to avoid the beams of the bright sun.  
“I need to do something” Despite her feeble posture, her voice grew to become unfaltering.   
“So saving an innocent girl… isn’t it the least I could do?” Despite her yearning to act, Chloe wanted to let her know that her resolution was misplaced, that she could do a million things if she truly wanted, but this shouldn’t be one of them.  
  
But before she could say any such thing, Ethan sensed the opportunity to push her over the edge that she was so delicately balancing on and spoke.  
“This is the final thing I ask of you… just go back in time and call me in the past and all your problems will go away” His voice, yet again, came from the phone in Chloe’s hand and she felt her thumb instinctively hovering around the screen, wanting to end the call and smash the phone, but she only feared the worst if she were the cut the connection and there was one other reason that she had allowed Ethan’s voice to continue to speak. Chloe wanted Max to hear them both speak, wanted her to see both sides and not make a decision because she manipulated her into doing it, but because she would know it was the right choice.  
First of all, Chloe wanted Max to trust her and in the most blatant of ways; she wanted to win over Ethan.

“It’s not just one thing!” She failed to direct her voice at any specific person, but the yell made sure everybody heard it. Even Ted who had been holding a closed fist to his mouth and tightening it every time he wanted to say something. Most importantly, however, she caught a great deal of attention from Max as she finally straightened her back and took a sharp breath.  
“Max, please… I’m so scared” Chloe quickly lowered her voice, fearing that Max’s reaction was from anxiety and that she would disregard everything Chloe had said if she believed it to come from a revenge-filled place.  
“He is playing a trick on you, I just know it. The implications of saving his daughter… I don’t know. It will mean that Ethan has won and has managed to change who you are, and…” It was difficult to convince her to not travel back in time, but it was just as much as a challenge to convince herself why she would risk her grandfather’s life by arguing for why they should deny Ethan’s request, but in the second she paused, she knew exactly why the risk was worth it.  
“Who you are made you choose to save me up on that hill, but now, if you choose to save his daughter… it might make you want to change your decision about saving me… and…” This time, it was Chloe who lowered her head and looked down.  
“Is that what you want?” The hair on her neck rose as this very question was the question with an answer she had feared ever since that day.  
“To… change your decision?” She kept perfectly silent, but even though she tried, she couldn’t prepare herself for what words would be spoken, so she simply forced herself numb.  
  
Her breath disappeared, her eyes were open but empty of thought. She didn’t consider it. She didn’t dare to.  
  
But there was one final thing that could alter everything, something that shouldn’t be said; a private matter that should have never been shared with the likes of him.

“In an attempt to persuade Max into believing that your stance is correct, I couldn’t help but notice that you said, Chloe, that you have never asked Max to go back in time so she could save your parents”  
Ethan fell right back into his pernicious skin and changed his pitch just slightly to once again, bask in his knowledge and Chloe could only regret having trusted him all that time back.  
“While that may be true, I think it would be unfair if you failed to mention that the reason you haven’t, is because you didn’t want Max to feel culpable, not because you truly don’t desire it”  
This time, Chloe did flip the phone and held it in front of her, feeling her hand burning, begging her to kill his voice.  
“Which is why you have hidden a picture you took of Max quite some time ago”  
But it would only make her seem guilty if she cut him off, but then again, to some extent that Max would most likely consider unprincipled, Chloe was guilty.  
“I remember you told me that you ripped it off the wall and hid it in your closet in case you ever felt so torn apart that you would have no other choice than to ask Max to go back through that very photo and save her parents”

Chloe whispered with such a faint voice “Max, please” but it was not enough as Max had already perked at the revelation and turned her head fully to look at the closet that was placed to the right of the bed.

“It’s not easy losing your loved ones, I know” Ethan had just let out with a breath when Max and Chloe both looked at each other for a second, held their stare for such a short moment that conveyed everything before Max turned on her feet and with loose movements ran in the direction of the closet, nearly losing her footing right away. While Chloe did extend an arm out to her, she did not truly attempt to stop her and simply began covering herself in a layer of shame.

Max was completely silent as she slid down on her knees before the closet and opened the door. She scanned the inside quickly and began digging through some of the clothes that had fallen from the hangers.

“What the fuck are we doing…” Ted’s jaded voice was barely picked up by Chloe as she simply watched Max pushing pieces of clothes away to find the photo, presumably in frantic, but she was so helplessly tired that it looked like a struggle to even lift a pair of pants.

“It’s under the box with the underwear” Chloe let out after a sigh and a contemplation of pitifulness. There was not much to do to keep her from seeing the picture and Chloe knew nothing good would come from lying, but that meant she had to tell the truth. She just prayed to God that Max would understand.

“Before you… judge me. I didn’t keep that photo in case I wanted you to go back and save my parents” Chloe felt a cold air rising in her body.   
“I mean, that was the reason I kept it there, but it’s not because… I kept it as some sort of… placebo, or whatever the word is. Like those fucking pills I had that would calm me during a panic attack” She ran a nervous thumb across her bottom lip and felt the dry flakes of skin.  
“Just the fact that I knew I had an… out, would calm me enough to make the actual pills unnecessary” She felt a great separation when she saw Max having lifted the box and was now looking quietly at the photo Chloe had hidden for so long.  
“Trust me, Max. I was never going to ask you to actually do it. I just needed… I just…” She stumbled over her words, being forced to be conscious about her breathing to keep herself from losing herself, but she was simply unfolding words in the distance.

“208-887-0760” Ethan suddenly spoke out numbers with a simple rhythm to it so it would be easy to remember.  
“That is the number you should call if you chose to travel through that photo” His words trapped the echoes of Chloe’s entreats and carved his own on the walls for her to see.  
“Tell me that between October 7th, 2013, and October 11th, 2013, that my daughter should under no circumstance leave the city”  
  
Chloe felt herself slip. Falling into a dark place, unable to call out for help and could only turn her head to Ted with a begging stare. But there was nothing he could do.

“While I will think you’re just some crazy person, I love my daughter enough to not take any chances and will keep her safe” Max was still on her knees, looking at a photo of her younger self.  
“From there on out” And she felt so close.  
“You’re free”

It was not enticement that drove her hesitations but a sense of salvation. Max, knowing exactly how she should react and respond, turned her head towards Chloe who had been readying herself for the heart-shattering yells. The one thing that was going to be different this time, the thing that would separate the yesterday’s fights with the present’s, was the fact that she was going to take it. Chloe, before Max had even opened her mouth, had accepted that this time, there was nothing to argue about.

“Have you kept this ever since I destroyed Arcadia?” Max asked with a stillness to her voice, her locked-on stare so cold in the absent of emotion.

Chloe felt her spine straightening and she deliberately lowered her shoulders and nodded once with her mouth slightly open. “Yeah”

As intensely the grip on her words and thoughts had felt, it all disappeared when Max casually turned her head back at the photo, not showing any signs of being angry, or even surprised.  
In her next aggravated words, she finally slipped away to a place Chloe had never expected or hoped her to see in.  
“You should just have asked me” The corner of her mouth arched upwards.  
“I would’ve done it” Her smile was crooked and hollow-hearted. 

Being caught off guard allowed for the subtle chill to pass through Chloe, feeling so confused about the girl on the ground, like a stranger in the skin of a loved one she had to recover.   
“But I don’t want you to. I want to be alive and be with you, fuck everything else” It felt unbecoming that all her words were for the purpose of chasing what had been and what should engender once more.  
“Rip the photo in half. I don’t need it. All I need is for you to stay in the present” It was pitiful that she was chasing something she once had and she wondered how she lost it when she noticed that Max was scanning the photo of herself. She glanced it over, seeing herself as a young teenager in front of her house on a clement day with a nervous smile and something in her hands. She couldn’t precisely recall the circumstances of which the photo was taken, but she knew that she looked more comfortable than she had felt in a while. Just one flash, just a simple use of her powers, and she would be back. She would save Ethan’s daughter and they would never have met him. And when she returned to the present, she and Chloe might be together, still struggling, but happy nonetheless. There was just one thing to consider… the single thing that stood out in Chloe’s assertion. 

_Maybe Ethan is just using his daughter as a way to actually make me sacrifice Chloe, without me actually knowing it. Maybe that was his end-goal all along? He knows I care for Chloe so much that I will never sacrifice her, so that’s why he wants to change my morals in a lesser way, in a way that will be a stepping-stone into something bigger. He believes my morale is focused on the individual person and that I fail to see people as a whole. Therefore, he hides his true intentions in this story of a specific person to save someone that isn’t Chloe, to cause a ripple effect that will… make me change my mind. When it comes down to it… I might sacrifice Chloe… Maybe it’s also because of him I told Chloe that I don’t love her… he’s changing my morals and my feelings for Chloe, so he’s absolutely certain that I’ll sacrifice her… Or maybe he really is just a miserable father?_

The more she thought about it, the more she looked back at her past decisions, the more it became apparent that there was always at least a shred of regret in every choice she had made, but that regret came from the hankering to make the right choice and the disappointment when she failed. So when she took a breath and felt so endlessly small in her body, she realized there was one way to live free of regrets.

“There is never a right choice and lately it seems that no matter what I do, I end up fucking myself over. So, maybe, for once, I should stop making mistakes that will lead to my misery and just go down the road myself… and hurt myself intentionally”  
She enjoyed saying it. It felt right. She didn’t care about getting hurt, in actuality, she wanted it. Getting ache because of mistakes is what had gotten to her, but feeling pain because she chooses to, felt comforting.  
“At least then, it wouldn’t be because I’m a failure” Even though her eyes didn’t sway, she could sense Chloe’s concern, her foremost worries. However, this one time, she didn’t want to think about her. She just wanted to believe that justice, however it may be perceived, would get to her one way or the other.  
“It would be because I’m able enough to realize that I deserve it” And she wanted to believe that she was due for the final wound.  
“I’m tired of being broken in small amounts, then fixed, then broken again. If every part of me can’t be fixed forever, then I want everything to fall apart so that I cannot be disappointed when hope betrays me”  
Down on her knees, an eerie feeling struck the room when her voice spoke in expectancy and was no longer strangled by despair. 

Chloe felt the pain in her stomach from the cold knife that had been placed in Max’s hands, gripping it so tightly as if this was her treasure. Truly, this long cut across the length of Max’s body was never to disappear and it was teasing her. Mocking her for not being able to stitch it back together and now she just wanted it wide open.  
Only Chloe could see it, see the cut and see how she felt so scarred, but however damaged she would become, it was still her skin, and she wanted it to remain.  
“Don’t, Max. The universe or whatever isn’t something that can judge you, right? The only ones who can judge you are the people around you, and I think you deserve to put the past behind you and just fucking live in the present”

She could only question the thought of why she felt pain and for what reason she cared. Every sting that waited for Max, was to pass on to Chloe. If this wretched girl felt the pain, then she would too, and if that was some offbeat product of love, she wasn’t certain, but she just wished that Max felt it too, because if she did, she would feel such a great ache right this very second.  
  
And the hand from the periphery could only reach out so far before the person below would drag her down.

“What about God? Isn’t he the only one who can truly judge you, Chloe?”  
His voice so blithe, as if he had already won and now just wanting to push the limits to see where it lies.

“Ethan, stop trying to-“ While Chloe quickly tried to assure him that his say was finished; that his words no longer played a part and that he couldn’t get to her, she was abruptly interrupted as he continued.

“Isn’t God the reason you’ve been able to continue on? Believing that death is just a road to a better life, and that good intentions are the only thing that matters?”  
  
He spoke of past conversations and such words could only make Chloe wonder in what place she must have been in, to have been able to confine such things to a stranger simply because he had a nametag and a degree on his wall. She couldn’t find the energy to yell at him to shut up, but it was apparent that her beliefs, the beliefs she was still confused about, would be used against her.

“I didn’t know your parents, Chloe, so I don’t know if they fulfill the requirements of a thousand metaphors that caters to people who don’t know how to be good people. The people who need a book to tell them to do what everybody is already doing but without all the hate and war, but from where things are now and from the bible’s words itself, I can be certain that you are not going to heaven”  
So cold his words had become with an intonation of anger neatly disguised.   
“Entertain the thought that maybe God doesn’t believe in you”  
Admittedly, Chloe had to clench her fist to keep from getting angry and probably pass out in the process as this was a very sore subject that only two people in the world were allowed to bring up, and Ethan certainly wasn’t one of them.  
“I prayed after my daughter died, I wanted to go to heaven with her, but maybe, if you let us use these powers that you may believe God has given us, we could make earth the real heaven”  
And just then his voice settled on an undeviating tone.     
“Doesn’t even the thought of it make you want to try?”

To the best of her abilities, Chloe tried to avoid even considering his words, not wanting to find out how deceptible she was in her current state.  
“You are the last person that could ever do such a thing. If anything, you’re the fucking devil”  
She scoffed at herself from even responding to him and quickly turned her attention back to Max who looked very addled.  

“If you want to abstain from fear-driven beliefs, then how about thinking logically?”  
At this point, it was no longer his words that caused the piercing heat to shoot through Chloe’s limbs, but simply the sound of his ongoing voice.  
“Even though I didn’t want it to be necessary, I have your grandfather and could very well end his life right now. If stopping Max means his death, then how can you attempt this and still claim that all lives are equal?”  
Right when he said this, Ted emphatically lifted his head as if he had been having the same thought but was too petrified to mention it, and even though she did feel a creeping anxiety every time she pictured her grandfather downstairs with such a monster, she had to be confident in herself in no one else were to be.  
  
“Because I know you’re not going to kill him! Ending the life of someone so innocent would go against everything that you’ve been trying to convince us of!” It was a gamble as Chloe had never exactly been able to tell if Ethan was an idealistic narcissist, a mournful vermin, or a deranged psychopath. However, she had seen the patterns and there had always been some thought behind his actions.

“Hm” Was all Ethan responded.

Chloe was just about to make her ending statement as she caught a glimpse of Max from the corner of her eye. She had stood up before the bed, holding the picture in front of her and gazing silently at the image. Her eyes swayed slowly, her expression showing her focus and she took only a single breath.

“Wh-“ Chloe muttered just when she realized that Max was about to back in time through the photo and it felt as an explosion inside of her body.  
“MAX!” She shrieked as she took two swift steps towards her and then leaped to grab her. To stop her. She saw Max’s pale face, and on that, her determination. 

 

…

 

“Perfect” A distorted girly voice giggled as a warm and gentle breeze skated over her bare arms.  
“I think you blinked, though, but you have beautiful eyelids anyway”

Her vision was unfocused for a few seconds, it was as if she was looking through a magnifying glass, but the shapes in front of her told her all she needed to know.  
The young girl in front of her, standing outside in the gentle weather, her strawberry-blonde hair softly waving in the wind with a camera in her hands. If her looks brought any doubt, her distinct voice made it evident that it was Chloe with a smile in front of her.   
When she moved her hands up to her head, a small thump could be heard as if she dropped something on the ground and the quelled gasp from her friend confirmed the suspicion. 

“I need a phone” She mumbled before even being able to collect herself, but it was a deliberate choice, as she didn’t want to assess the situation in fear of creating doubt or similar emotions. 

“Oh, eh… well, doesn’t your cell phone work?” A little concerned she said these words as Max was still slightly hunched over, but she refrained from questioning it for some reason.

Max quickly began checking her pockets while her curiosity got the better of her and while her hands were searching, she turned her head to get an appraisal of her surroundings as she couldn’t recall this exact memory. However, she quickly realized that she was standing in the doorway of her parents’ house and instantly a worrying feeling overcame her, but she forced it down when she felt her fingers graze the phone in her front pocket. 

“I’ll take your present inside so you can talk in peace” Chloe kept her composure, but her cordial smile had vanished when she walked up to Max and bend down to grab the item she had dropped, which had by now shown to be a present from Chloe.  
“Come open it when you’re done, okay?”

Max nodded with a shaky breath, barely having the courage to look at her friend and while attempting to shut out everything and only focus on calling the number. To call Ethan.   
  
“I really hope you’ll like it” A soothing hum passed her as Chloe opened the door behind Max and went inside the house and just as the door closed, Max’s vision cleared right up. And it frightened her.

Colors looked so bright and the warmth was so pleasing to her skin that looking at it now, looked so healthy and far less pale. When she gave it thought, she actually didn’t felt sick anymore. She wasn’t hungry nor tired. That gnawing noise in her head and the ball of lead in her stomach had completely disappeared.  
The grass on the yard was bright green and birds were tweeting in the distance and allowing herself to think for a moment, made her realize that this was only a day after her 13th birthday when Chloe came to visit to celebrate her, as just the day before, the house had been swarming with family.  
Suddenly it felt like the water that had been up to her neck for several days suddenly faded and she took a breath only to feel the remedying air in her throat. While her mind was still struck with anxiety, her body during this time hadn’t been burdened with days of stress and sleep deprivation. The weight was no longer holding her down and she felt so frighteningly light.  
She looked down at the phone in her hand, her old phone with the crack in the screen and painfully low battery time and she remembered how Chloe was the only one that had noticed the damage and poor condition of her phone and had, therefore, bought her a new one the day after her birthday. She remembered how happy she was. How happy Chloe was that she had managed to make Max smile so wide. 

A second passed by. An opportunity missed.  
Max held her breath and began typing in a number on her old phone with still fingers. 

_208-887-0760_


	41. The Magic Bullet That Killed the Sun

She was looking for an excuse. A reason to hurl her phone away and watch it break on the torrid concrete. She had made the mistake of consideration and her head was so freshly clear that she was no longer hindered and while she still felt the slithering anxiety wherever her thoughts wandered, she was free from the sting in the back of her head. A thought became a picture of the future that was no longer dimmed by a dark tint. All she had to do was hit call, warn Ethan about the future and she would be free. But what kind of freedom would she return to? All she would return to would be her prison of doubt and regret. But now here she was, in a time where she had done no wrong and Chloe didn’t have the look of suppressed blame in her eyes, only her beautiful gaze, and innocent smile.  
She didn’t feel like she deserved it, but something told her to just forget everything, just for a day, and try to be happy for once.

The light on the phone dimmed and she took a breath before placing the phone back in her pocket and closed her eyes.  
Just one day.

“I understand, but I would just go with the open collar. It’s more casual” The first words she heard when she had nervously decided and stepped inside her home, was Chloe’s happy-go-lucky voice, speaking to Max’s father about his attire in the living room. Her heart rose a little in her chest at the sight, seeing her father for the first time in what had felt like forever and he looked so young. It was before the time he had chosen to let his beard grow and he still had a full set of thick hair on his head and such a sleek face. Even though it hadn’t been that long since she had seen her father, it still felt like an eternity. She missed the comfort he provided and it hurt that he didn’t even know what her daughter was going through. She wanted to hug him so badly, but she knew it would bring her to tears and she had to keep it together. Just for a little longer.  
She took another step, looking around the house and paid attention to all the decorations that would be removed and replaced in just a few years. The hallway she was standing in led directly into the living room, so while she was slowly kicking her shoes off, she looked around enthrallingly. The big black couch caught her attention, the one that she used to fall asleep in while watching old crime dramas on the big box of a television. The entire space was lit up by the glass doors that led outside to a small but colorful yard. Every detail of the room brought another memory back to her, particularly the ugly green vase sitting on one of the wooden shelves on the wall; the one she broke when she had thrown a pillow behind her back in a faulty attempt to hit her mother. It was a mixed feeling of dejection and elation seeing all these memory-filled items, but she eagerly gave all her tools to the felicity in order for it to win in the ongoing battle.

She took another step, looking around the house and paid attention to all the decorations that would be removed and replaced in just a few years. The hallway she was standing in led directly into the living room, so while she was slowly kicking her shoes off, she looked around enthrallingly. The big black couch caught her attention, the one that she used to fall asleep in while watching old crime dramas on the big box of a television. The entire space was lit up by the glass doors that led outside to a small but colorful yard. Every detail of the room brought another memory back to her, particularly the ugly green vase sitting on one of the wooden shelves on the wall; the one she broke when she had thrown a pillow behind her back in a faulty attempt to hit her mother. It was a mixed feeling of dejection and elation seeing all these memory-filled items, but she eagerly gave all her tools to the felicity in order for it to win in the ongoing battle.

Amidst their conversation, Chloe noticed Max had entered and gave a quick smile before turning her attention back to her father. “I’m telling you, people like them love a laid-back everyday guy. No ties” She ended before turning on her feet and walked towards Max who had finally gotten rid of the sneakers on her feet.  
“Ready to open your present?” She asked while tugging a little on her dark-blue shirt with big white block letters spelling “AWAKE” in the center. However, what really stood out, besides her long blonde hair and conventional clothes, was the missing tattoo on her right arm, and it was difficult to decide whether or not it made her look more untroubled or ominously mysterious.

It suddenly hit her how much of a trial it was to simply adjust, to go from all that heartache and anxiety, to this innocent time of friendship and family and it took a lot more willpower than she would have liked to avoid simply blurting out her thoughts and saying “I’m sorry that I took this away from you. I’m sorry that chilling together with no cares in the world and without all the heartbreak can’t go on forever”

She managed to control herself, however, and took a breath through her nose to fake a smile that she wanted to be genuine and replied “I don’t know, it looked kind of small” with a voice that she knew Chloe would regard as joking.

“Good things comes in small packages” She retaliated while placing a light hand on Max’s back and followed her into the living room where her father was still looking down himself, wondering about his clothes, and Max could clearly remember as to why. Only a few days from now, he would go to a job interview with an open collar and a strong cologne smell and land a solid job that would last for four years.

“Max, be honest. Striped or plain tie?” He questioned rather diffident with a frolic turn of his head and it brought her into a subtle smile, but it was a smile that meant a great deal to her regardless and she was very conscious of that fact.

“Trust me, dad, go with Chloe’s advice on this one. No tie” Her words no longer had a burn to them, no longer scratched her throat, and it felt nice having a conversation where every sentence didn’t have to be analyzed to find some sort of agenda.

Max’s father narrowed his eyes a little while fiddling with his collar.  
“Ah, you kids with your… torn jeans and sneakers with stickers on them. I need a third opinion”  
Turning his head in the direction of the bedroom, he spoke with a tilt of desperation.  
“Honey, for my job interview do you think maybe-“ But to his great downfall he was quickly cut off by a female voice in the other room.

“You’ll have to tie it yourself if you want to wear it so badly” It was smooth voice with a clear amusement in the vibe and for some reason, Max felt an unforeseen sense of relief when she heard her mother’s voice and she even popped her head a little around to see if she could catch a glimpse of her.

Defeated, Max’s father gave an exasperated sigh and really brought his shoulders into it while presenting a scrunchy face to his daughter and her friend, but his eyes visibly smiling.  
Although Max had always felt that her relationship with her parents was blissfully harmonious– being able to either joke with each other or have real conversations- somewhere along the line, she had forgotten to appreciate that. She had never told anyone, but Chloe’s unstable relationship with her parents after her real father died had made Max very conscious of the bond she had with her own parents and it made her feel lucky. The exact same feeling that washed over her, this very second. It felt like a dream, and in some sense, it might as well have been as she knew it would end soon as dreams always did, but for whatever reason, she felt capable of ignoring the reality and just go along.

“You feel like opening your present now?” Chloe said heedfully after a beat while nudging her gently with her elbow. Her approach was so recognizably attentive as she must have sensed that Max had been acting slightly weird but still respected her enough to not question it and wait for Max to explain her worries instead.

Turning her head, the girl that began to realize how small she felt, turned her head and looked over Chloe once more. It was understandable that she looked different, but paying the amount of attention she was now able to, made Max register how different she actually looked. Not just her attire and long natural hair, but her eyes and smile were free from the cryptic and masked grief that became so strikingly present in Chloe after all the incidents of her father’s dead and the storm that killed her parents and friends. There was no weight dragging her down, making her fight to take another step.  
She missed those happy eyes and confident smiles. She missed loving who she is, and not who she was.

A quick shiver went down Max’s back before she quickly stepped out of the hazardous territory and decided to no longer frighten her friend with her far-away stares.  
“Yeah… let me at it” She blinked to pop open a smile and although she knew exactly what she was getting, a childlike excitement stirred inside Max when she walked with Chloe over to her present that was wrapped in black with some random pieces of tape around it, waiting on the wooden table in the dining room.

“I really hope it’s something you can…” Chloe stretched the last word as Max had already begun fiddling with the present, well-knowing Chloe didn’t care how much she would end up ripping the wrapping paper. “I hope you’ll like it” There was a trace of nervousness in her voice, clearly wanting the gift to be well-received, but she didn’t have to worry.

As soon as half the wrapping was ripped apart or torn off, the box with sleek silver letters revealed the content. “Samsung SGH-E250” Underneath there was a little preview of what one would get with such a revolutionary phone. While the design was sleek, it was tough to be impressed by the new features it provided as in Max’s proper timeline, the phone was several years old.  
Max knew she had to present a smile when looking back at Chloe and her anticipating face, but the appreciative smile came without a single struggle as she felt exactly as she did when she had first gotten this present; overwhelmed that her friend would be willing to pay so much to give a good gift to her friend, but extremely happy nonetheless.

“The guy in the store said it was like… really durable, so I thought- I don’t know” While speaking, Chloe was fiddling with her hair and glancing up and down.  
“You just mentioned from time to time how your phone sucked, so I figured… this was something you could use” It was odd to see Chloe this halting and so uncertain as if she had to try hard to make Max happy.

And that thought suddenly came with a sense of chagrin. She remembered the NiSi Square Filter Chloe had bought her in the original timeline to cheer her up, how she looked even more torn than she did right now as if the only thing she wanted in the world was to make her happy, but she… tossed it on the bed. She just left it there and went to sleep without even giving Chloe a smile and now, she didn’t even know what had happened to it. Maybe Chloe threw it out because she didn’t like it. Maybe she had really touched a paragon of Chloe and turned it into trash.  
It was an awful feeling that hit her. Pushing someone away that simply tried her best to show how much she cared…

“Chloe, this-“ Picking up the box, Max exhaled through her mouth and for a second, allowed the serene heat in the room and the silence overcome and benumb her so peacefully.  
“This is so cool! I love it!” She thought of her words and the volume in which she spoke to be feigned, an attempt to comfort Chloe, but there was something that temporarily filled that emptiness in her body, something indescribable that automatically made her happy.

And Chloe was happy too. Her eyes shot open with joy and the worry could be seen leaving her body as she spoke. “Aw yes! I’m so glad you like it” she nearly cheered.  
Then came a moment, a stillness that she wanted to cling to and never let go. She couldn’t do it, she knew she couldn’t, but looking at Chloe with her stupid and contagious smile, she wanted so badly to just give in and kiss her. Tell her everything, tell her about the future embraced in a hug, and she could only wonder if Chloe, whether she knew it or not, was actually in love with Max at such a young age…

“Okay, now that you’ve outshined the hoodie I gave her, I think it’s time we begin preparing dinner” With a single clap of his hands, Ryan snapped Max out of her thoughts and Chloe looked a little disconcert as well as if she was having an internal moment of her own. She recovered as quickly as ever, though, and broke right back into the game.

“Sounds great. Can I help?” The voice Chloe used to make the offer made Max doubt the sincerity of her enthusiasm, but by all expressions visible, she seemed genuine.

“Of course. You and Max can get started and I’ll go change” Ryan threw his hands around seemingly randomly, most likely to point out the kitchen and his attire in his given sentence.  
“If you could just preheat the oven to 350 and cut some vegetables, that’d be a great help” He ended with a small nod directed towards the helpful Chloe and as he turned slightly to head into the bedroom, he gave Max a rather cryptic look with a feel of insinuating some sort of unknown request or hint, but before Max could even begin being confused about it, she felt Chloe ever so gently placing her fingers on Max’s bare arm to signal for them to head into the kitchen, and as Max silently agreed, her mind then got occupied when at what point in time Chloe crossed the line from gently tapping Max to lead her somewhere to full-on deadlock her arm and wrestle-throw her to the desired location. For now, though, her arm just felt lucky without the war-marks.

As they walked towards the kitchen, Chloe hesitantly whispered a question in Max’s left ear.  
“Your dad seriously don’t know how to tie a tie?”

…

“Alright, so eh… yeah, the mushrooms goes into the boiling water” Max declared, sitting comfortably on one of the metallic counters in the kitchen with the cooking recipe in her hand.

“All of them?” Chloe questioned as she grabbed the wooden cutting board with the dried mushrooms.

“Well, I don’t… know. It doesn’t say, but just put like ten in there and–“ Being abruptly interrupted by the splashing sound of a million mushrooms being tossed into boiling water made Max slowly look up.  
“Or just dump all of them in there” She waved the recipe around while considering throwing it away for comedic effect, but given that they were not even halfway done it was deemed as a bad idea by the logical side of her brain.  
“I didn’t think you cared much for ‘shrooms” With a shy smile, Max took a breath through her nose and decided to once more torture her stomach by smelling the chicken cooking in the oven.

“I don’t. Why anyone would eat something that literally grows on the ground where animals have probably pooped, is beyond me” Chloe began making her strong argument as she bent down to grab a pan from one of the compartments.  
“I just know that you guys like it” Her voice echoed so slightly with her head now fully placed inside the compartment.  
“And I enjoy seeing them suffer in boiling water anyway” She managed to let out just before the metallic noise of pans clanging together sounded with enough volume to deafen an earthquake.  
“Dammit!” Chloe whispered with a sharp tone as one of bigger pans fell out of the compartment and onto the floor with a loud bang. With a girly giggle, Max pondered about helping the poor girl, but despite her flustered approach, she seemed to quickly regain control over the devious pans and Max decided to simply enjoy the situation for a few seconds longer and scan the kitchen that was soon to be renovated.

The majority of the kitchen was covered in white, as was the standard as far as she knew, while the counters were gray with small white dots, giving them a starry feel as if these counters were the universe itself. The floor was, however, made of some beige wood so there was at least something to stimulate the enjoyment of sight, rather than dull and plain colors. Although she had to admit, there was a very calming atmosphere in the kitchen.

“So what’s next?” Chloe said as she straightened her back, placing the problematic pan on one of the stoves. 

“Oh, yes, I know it” Max let out flustered, quickly skimming the recipe in her hand to find the correct step.  
“Ehm, peel and finely slice the garlic, pick the thyme leaves and add both to the pan when the oil is hot” Her voice gradually became one of those you would hear in a cooking show, very confident, but also a tiny bit annoying for some reason.

Chloe looked a little around the kitchen, eventually making a full circle motion with her head before stopping to look back at Max “What oil?” A fine question she presented when it became clear that no oil had been mentioned beforehand.

“Right. Backtracking” Max’s eyes began wandering around on the paper, betting on her brain being able to catch any mention of oil in the text.  
“Add one tablespoon of olive oil to the pan” And it did without any complications.

“No problem” Turning back around, Chloe wandered a little around, as apparently, despite what had been otherwise mentioned, there was a slight problem with finding the cooking oil.

Even though Max felt it was expected of her to help out, she had to admit that she had no earthly idea of where the oil was. She didn’t even know if that was information that had ever been bestowed on her in the past. A more prudent thought was filling her tranquil mind anyway, with Chloe’s serene words setting the bar the for atmosphere that was so relaxing that even her muscles fell a few inches down. However, being conscious of her own peaceful state made her realize that this was still the past and not her actual life; and it frightened her that she had forgotten that for a moment. In fear of her thoughts spiraling out of control, she began focusing on her friend who had quite swiftly found the olive oil and was now looking for a tablespoon. Her mind had already marked down how much more lively Chloe looked, not through her body language that had always been somewhat animated but her bright eyes that simply invited you to have a conversation with her, instead of the warning glare she grew to possess that made it clear that one would need a good reason to talk to her. And as uncomfortable as any thought now seemed to be, Max wondered if this was a result of simply growing up- losing the child inside her- of if that bright look vanished when her happiness did. Almost as a shock-reflex, Max lifted her chin and spoke up.

“So, how have you been doing?” As she attempted to keep the agitation down in her voice she shook her shoulders slightly to forestall the anticipated shivers.

Chloe turned her head slightly but kept her attention at the cooking task at hand.  
“What do you mean?”

“Just… are you like… are you happy with how things are?” She wished the sentence had come out without pause, more confident, as she didn’t want Chloe to think, or to know, that something was wrong.

“Eh, yeah. I guess” She responded while walking over to the cutting board.  
“Why?” The stillness in her voice signaled that she had noticed Max’s occasional odd behavior and Max had to again force her desire down to explain to her friend what was truly going on.

“I just want to know if… I don’t know- if you’d want things to change” And even though she knew revealing everything would make her sound mental, she was still tempted enough to poke around in an attempt she wished was subconscious to justify future events.

“I don’t think so. Not something dramatic at least” Amidst her answer she turned around to face Max while placing her hands on the counter with an ambivalent look in her blue eyes.  
“I wish I could take that slap back, though. I think that’s where it started” And only because their gaze was locked for a second was Max able to take notice to the tilt in her eyebrows and the short-lived wince that appeared when she said this bewildering sentence.

“What? Who did you slap? And what started?” Without thinking about it, Max leaned a little forth, unclear what Chloe was talking about. She figured it was something about an event that had happened previously that she would’ve have remembered if remembering didn’t mean she had to think several years back. And something about Chloe’s expression told her that it was something she should know about.

But their gaze broke when Chloe turned back around, stopping Max from analyzing her countenance any closer. “Nothing, it’s– Max, I’m fine where I am. I’m perfect” Her reassuring voice that had so often had an almost supernatural effect failed to put her mind at ease and she didn’t welcome it like she used to.

Even though she decided to let the mention of a slap slide, it was still difficult for her to choose a road. She wanted Chloe to be happy, there was no doubt about that, but if she truly was content now then it would mean there was so much to rip away from her. So much to be broken that it would leave a massive hole inside of her. And the thing that could take all that away, had already happened. Max was simply in a timeline before all that. If just Chloe wasn’t so happy. Then she wouldn’t fall so deep when everything eventually goes to shit.

“You sure?” She asked one last time, hoping Chloe would somehow read into her and give a response that would in some way soothe her crippling nerves. It was unfair to expect, but she had done it before. She had been the serum to the poison that ran through her blood and she needed that comfort for the days to come.

“Well, with you I am, yeah” And using only her soothing voice that was ever-so haunting, she proved herself once more. She proved that she really was the friend she could so often rely on.

“I want to stay” Max muttered to herself, but loud enough for Chloe to catch up on it and turn her head with a sly smile.

“What?” Chloe questioned with the bottle of olive oil in her left hand and in her right, the one she extended out to her to help her down off the counter, there was opportunity.

“I want to stay” She repeated with confidence as she grabbed Chloe’s hand and pushed herself off to the floor.


	42. The Stars Then Lied

“So, Chloe. How are your parents doing?”  
  
It was definitely not something she should consider.  
  
“Good. I mean, my dad is. My mom has been working like a dog for the past week”  
  
She has been told time and time again that she had made the right choice.  
  
“Oh, is it because they’re saving up for that trip to New Zealand?”  
  
But there was no right choice.  
  
“I figure, yeah. It’s fine, though. I’ve been just hanging out with my dad in the evening”  
  
She knew that changing her decision would also be the right choice. She even knew that Chloe’s last word would be “thank you” if she were to…  
  
“That sounds nice. And I must say, this chicken you and Max have cooked is deli-“ Just as Ryan was about the finish his sentence and place the piece of meat on his fork into his mouth to underline his compliment, Max could hold herself back no longer.  
  
“Do you think you could ever learn to live a good life without your parents?” But even though she knew well ahead that she was about to say it, her body still reacted with shock and a cold sweat rushed to her, smelling the shame, and her eyes looked so far off to the right and away from the stares that her question had brought her that they nearly disappeared behind her socket.  
  
“That’s not really an appropriate question, Max” Ryan spoke up with a held-back voice, but knew if it wasn’t for Chloe’s presence, it would have sounded a lot stricter.  
  
Chloe, on the other hand, kept quiet, sending only a cursory glare at Max and then proceeded to look down at her lap for a few seconds, trying to ward off the silence that placed her, and them all, in the momentary prison with thorny bars.    
  
_Keep it together, Max. You’re not here to justify sacrificing or not sacrificing Chloe. You’re here to… yeah, what are you doing here actually?_  
  
“I’m sorry” Max shook her head, noticing how weird it seemed that she couldn’t feel any bangs bumping against her forehead.  
“We just read this article at school about the psychological damages of losing one’s parents, so I figured I’d ask what you guys think it could do” The words came from some unknown place in her brain and it was a mixed feeling of confusion and proudness that permeated her when she realized how quick and convincing the lie she just came up with was.  
  
“Oh, I see. Well, I still think it’s a discussion for another time” Ryan stated a little more loosely as he finally placed the piece of chicken in his mouth and began chewing with a paternal expression.  
  
“Right” She responded while looking over at Chloe who was now, fortunately, sending Max a light smile that could be construed as mildly coy by Max’s addled mind. She just read into things that weren’t there because of the future relationship they were to have. Hopefully.  
  
“Speaking of school, how are your classes going? Still having problems with your teacher?” A low female voice suddenly spoke up in a pronounced attempt of pushing right through the unpleasantness Max had managed to create.  
  
It was an instant stress relief to hear the voice of her mother that quite rarely came into the light. While Max never did believe the saying that opposites attract, there was definitely a clear distinction between her mother and father when it came to making their presence known. Her mother had always been the quiet type, the one always standing in the back watching who might as well could have been her father in the center of attention. An introvert meets extrovert sort of deal.  
Max finally managed to look up with a scenic view, taking everything in at once. The wooden table they were sitting at that had been so heavy to carry around whenever they had to bring in the “fancier” table whenever it was their turn to host holidays. It was covered in simple black tablecloth, with a rather big brown spot on one of the edges that Max’s mother was always careful to fold up so it wouldn’t be noticed. Before answering her mother, however, Max decided to reach across her plate with the massacred chicken meat and the slyly nudged away vegetables on the edge of the plate to reach for the water in the transparent pitcher. When her mother eventually bowed her head down a little to catch Max’s attention, she titled her head up and decided to answer.  
  
“Eh, it’s- it’s going well” Her voice was a little hesitant and she knew it would be, as there were a million other things she would have preferred to talk about. However, looking at her mother with her long brown hair behind her shoulders and her quick-witted smile, it actually felt okay to talk with her about something so trivial.  
   
A small sharp noise suddenly came from Chloe’s plate as she held down her fork in a straight angle on a piece of chicken and spun it. “The teacher thing is not going great, though” Chloe stated without looking up, and it took but one second for Max in her thoughts to remember who the teacher in question actually was. Mr. Razvan. He was not inherently a bad guy, but there was just something about his attitude that had made him generally disliked at school.  
  
“Oh, why not?” Max’s mother, Vanessa, questioned with a concealed tilt of concern in her voice as this was not the first time this particular teacher had been brought up, but still in her own thoughts, Max couldn’t remember the actual problem with him.  
  
Chloe was all over the case, however, as she leaned forward with the knife in her hand pointing towards the sky with her elbow resting on the table.  
“He is really bad at reading the room. We’re all trying sleep, but it’s pretty difficult when he keeps, like… talking about enzymes”  
  
And Max was just alert enough to catch Chloe’s remark and an involuntary snicker was forced out, one she was so unprepared for that she nearly choked on the piece of chicken halfway down her throat, and looking up at Chloe with red cheeks revealed that she was looking back with a mischievous smile that quickly turned into a stifled chuckle when she noticed Max’s reaction.    
  
“Maybe you should try to listen instead” Although the parents at the table wasn’t so keen on laughing along, Vanessa kept it together and acknowledged the joke, but still felt it was in her place to not encourage sleeping in class. And to do so, she turned her attention towards her daughter with a flimsy smile.    
“And why are you laughing, Max? Didn’t you miss school yesterday?”  
  
“Not really” She shook her head once, trying to hold back a snort-laugh but failed to do so when she saw Chloe’s eye shoot up with a big grin on her face.     
  
“Oh, shit! Throwing some shade!” Chloe laughed out with her arms up in the air, and while both the girls looked at each other with wet eyes and red cheeks from trying their best to suppress their vigorous laughs, Max could feel the familiar warmth passing through her body as she and Chloe clicked so well, and it was a feeling she had been longing for longer than she’d like to admit.    
  
“Alright! I think it’s time to say thanks for dinner” Max’s father let out swiftly while taking a hold of his plate with the mostly-eaten chicken and vegetables and stood up, evidently not as fond of the jokes flying around as the two girls were.    
“And please, refrain from swearing, Chloe,” he said calmly as he walked by her to then head into the kitchen.    
  
“I’m sorry” And although she meant it, her expression clearly didn’t show it as her and Max kept looking and giggling to each other with Max's eyes on the brink of watering from amusement as she could only focus on Chloe’s smile that was as dumb and pleasing as ever.    
  
…    
  
“So how do I kill this evil guy?”  
  
“What evil g- are you talking about the old guy getting water from the well?”  
  
“Yeah. How do I equip my arrows?”  
  
“Max, I appreciate your fondness of wanting to kill, but that is probably the least evil guy in this entire game”  
  
“Alright, I’ll let him live, but I still want to know how I equip my arrows”  
  
“I don’t know, maybe press triangle like the prompt in the upper-right corner has been telling you to do for the last minute”  
  
“…Right you are”  
  
“Now you’re ready to fight giant monsters”  
  
“So where do I go? Where are the monsters?”  
  
“Well, they were in that cave you passed, but you insisted on talking to people in the village instead like a weirdo”  
  
“Okay, starting to hurt my feelings”  
  
“Alright, see that guy with the brown hat?”  
  
“Hold on… let meee… turn around. Yeah!”  
  
“Awesome, he’ll sell you a kick-ass sword”  
  
“Oh, I bet I can use that to kill those slimes without wasting arrows”  
  
“Yeah, take a stab at it”  
  
“…Did you just make a sword pun?”  
  
“You know what they say. The PUN is mightier than the sword”  
  
“…”  
  
“Max?”  
  
“…”  
  
“Say something”  
  
“No. You need to know what you did”  
  
It had been only twenty minutes after their tussle at dinner and it had felt appropriate to start up a game of some RPG Max had lying around in her room, or rather, it was something Chloe insisted on and something Max agreed on for a lack of a better idea. The great personal vexation of Max, however, was the fact that Chloe had completed this particular game to completion and was now acting as a sassy coach for her newbie friend. While Max was a great fan of video games, she was more of the old-school type of gamer, while Chloe had made a smooth transition to the new generation of gaming. Despite this, it was nice to feel the sense of immersion she currently noticed, sitting here with Chloe in Max’s bedroom on her old, soft bed, with her small TV in front of them both.   
  
“Somebody should tell him you can’t do that” Chloe stated with a stretched arm, pointing out the guy in the game that stood halfway into a brick wall, slowly being consumed by the structure with every passing second.  
  
Max let out a deliberate chuckle, being more in a content mood than in a laughing mood. It felt safe sitting with her best friend in her own room for once, with her parents standing guard in the living room against any potential time-travelers that wanted to do her harm. Even though they said they were going to watch Mad Men, she knew what they were about.  
Even more so, Max felt somewhat distracted by all the decorations in her room, in which there were plenty of. Two dream-catchers, one she had made herself and the green, tacky lamp on her nightstand underneath next to a bag of empty crisps. Everything was mostly green or brown in some unconscious attempt to live in a forest, only even more evident with the five plants strategically placed around the room.   
Just above the TV hung a few pictures she had taken, the one showing young Chloe on a rail track particular catching her eye as she took it the one time her, Chloe and her dad decided to walk a twenty mile trip without any rations, which led to them all being a little grumpy, but as she recalled, it was great day nonetheless. There was just one thing that unsettled her slightly, and that was the fact that the photo only showed Chloe on one side of track, whereas Max remembered them both facing each other. Maybe this was a different photo, she tried to convince herself…   
  
“So now the zombies start attacking, so equip your new sword” Chloe suddenly spoke up, making Max realize that she hadn’t been paying attention for the last couples of seconds and just mindlessly pressing buttons.  
  
“There are zombies in this game?” Rather frenetically, Max began searching through her inventory and scrolled through the million herbs and pieces of cloth she had been gathering against Chloe’s advice, being certain that there was a quicker way to reach for one’s sword but was far too agitated to figure it out.  
  
“It’s not zombies, but they have gross skin and gurgle a lot” Was Chloe’s response as Max let out a yelp when a red tint popped up on the edges of the screen, indicating damage.  
  
Unfortunately, the inventory screen she still had open blocked 80% of the screen, and the button in which to close it had slipped her mind. “Oh shit! How do I…?!”  
  
“Circle! Circle always closes things!” Chloe yelled out frantically.  
“The red round thing!”  
  
“I know what a circle is!” Max yelped in panic, but it was too late…  
  
She died.  
  
Only an empty feeling struck her when she watched the screen, taunting her with big red letters saying “You have died”  
  
Like that wasn’t obvious.  
  
“So…” Chloe said carefully while falling back in Max’s bed, lifting the sheet partially over her lower body, and some basic reaction in Max’s body made her ask “You want a cigarette?” reminding herself too late that her friend didn’t smoke in the past, which lead to Chloe pull a puzzled look.  
  
“What? You have cigarettes in your room?” And her voice had the uninvited tilt of concern.  
  
“No, I… don’t know why I said that” As she had managed to perfect, Max opened to door to the short silence of awkwardness, but in that time, actually felt weirdly downhearted that Chloe didn’t smoke as, despite the obvious damage to her health, she missed the calming atmosphere a mist of smoke brought with it.  
“I think I have stashed a bottle of wine somewhere, though” Looking around, a brief recollection of having “borrowed” a bottle of wine from the family dinner yesterday entered her mind.  
  
Chloe took a second to answer, swirling her tongue around in her mouth.  
“Wine? Like, alcohol? I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Aren’t your parents still in the living room?” Her voice was a little reluctant, free from the rebellious spirit Chloe would grow over the years.  
In the absence of a response from Max, Chloe lifted her chin to her chest and looked at Max sitting on the floor. “What’s with all the cigarettes and alcohol? Should I be concerned about something?” she asked, and the expected lean of jokiness in her voice was nowhere to be found, only the sound of legitimate unease passed from her.  
  
“No no, it’s just… forget it. I’m sorry” Looking away bashfully, Max stroke her fingers against her forehead where her bangs used to be and felt a prickling on her neck when she once more had failed to adjust.  
  
Chloe simply kept looking at her friend, a number of thoughts passing her about the behavior of Max and decided that she felt more penitent than concerned and took a breath with a smile. “Alright, let’s bring out the wine and have ourselves a two-man party. But we just take sips, no serious drinking”  
  
Like a spring, Max bounced up from the floor wanting to fake her enthusiasm to the point where it became real and presented her friend with an excited smile. “Let’s do it!”  
In actuality, Max wasn’t sure what she was so elevated about, it wasn’t the alcohol in particular, but somehow she felt more like herself, the person she remembered she was.  
  
“So what, eh… should we play a drinking game or something to make it more interesting?” Chloe suggested while looking around the room, trying to see if she could spot the bottle of wine as Max began tip-toeing over to her closet.  
  
The suggestion sprouted an idea inside Max and as she opened the closet to reveal the bottle of wine standing not-so-hidden on the upper shelf, she turned back at Chloe with a crooked smile. “Truth or dare?”  
  
Chloe was immediately brought back while placing her hands on her hips and giving her friend a scolding look. “Truth or dare?” She questioned with great disdain.  
“What are we, thirteen?” She craned her neck around, pouting in the progress to fully claim the look of contempt.  
  
And Max holding the bottle of wine, without even looking at her haughty friend, made a surprising statement.  “Yeah”    
  
Which, in a trice, made Chloe’s eyes shoot up in revelation.  
“Oh snap, you’re right. It’s the perfect game for our age-group!” She carefully flailed her arms around, using the momentum to turn herself around on the bed.  
  
Just as the corners of Max’s mouth began aching to smile, the unpredictable bullet of dreaded thoughts hit her mind, center-point, and caused her to take a focused breath.    
  
_I know I shouldn’t do this. I know my intentions behind this, whether it sparked from childish joy or fervent curiosity, but I honestly don’t care. I don’t want to justify anything, but I need to know what I should do, and the only one that can guide me is Chloe. And right now, I see why I fell in love with her and why it crumbled. She became a different person._  
  
She dared herself to look at her friend lying in the bed, looking more genuinely excited by the second and she could hold the smile back no longer.  
  
_I will make my decision. I will. But… I also want to know her feelings about me. All those moments we had, I really want them again. With her. Right now. I know we’re too young to do most things; even the wine is pushing it, but…_  
  
The very thought made her heart thump inside her chest and the butterflies she believed to have died from starvation began fluttering in her stomach.  
  
_I wonder if… if I could kiss her?_  



	43. Now They Only Praise the Moon

She tried to keep a cold expression as she took a sip, to seem like she enjoyed the taste but it was useless as even though she only took a small sip, per Chloe’s request, the alcohol still forced her face into a grimace. It must have been because her young body was unaccustomed to drinking and her taste buds in the past were still sensitive.

“I can’t believe you refused to answer that question” Chloe whispered while pulling her lips into a smirk and looking at Max with eyes that were partially disappointed, partially curious.

After intensely blowing out air while flicking her tongue around in an exasperated attempt to get the taste out, Max placed the bottle of wine back on the ground between them.  
“Stop asking such saucy questions and I might answer” Leaning back on her hands, Max began wondering what she should ask Chloe. She had only asked her two questions, no dares, as to ease her into the actual questions she wanted an answer to. And luckily, it seemed Chloe’s fearlessness what still somewhat present as she had answered both questions so far. Or it might be that she just really didn’t want to drink.

“Alright, my turn” Max let out while looking up at the ceiling.  
“If you could take one bad thing away from the world, what would it be?”

Chloe rolled her eyes while taking a breath, apparently hoping the questions would be more light-hearted. “Well, rather than taking something away, I would replace prison sentences with like… a place where the criminals had to stay, but it would be less depressing, and with daily counseling and psychiatric help. I think locking people up just make them more prone to commit crimes again and it doesn’t do any good. Rather than having a society that relishes in the twisted enjoyment of what they call “justice” by watching a mentally disturbed man rot in a cell, I think we should help them”

Max went quiet for a second, having imagined Chloe’s answer would be closer to “Animal cruelty” or “Raisins in cookies”. But it was true that Chloe had some very abstruse opinions about justice that she was apparently keen on sharing.  
  
“Elaborate, please” Max requested, not exactly certain if she got Chloe’s point as surely, murderers and rapists had to suffer to some extent.

“It’s just… every time I see someone on the internet discussing the legal justice system, they’re so… inhumane. There is no justice in burdening or worsening people’s lives even though they’ve done the same. It helps no one to harass a guy that have killed a kitten for fun. It helps no one to ruin a life. Justice is not fucking up a person's life because he fucked up someone else’s. That is revenge, and it serves no purpose other than making uninvolved, good-for-nothing people on the internet feel better about themselves, while all they’ve done is helped the horrors in the world to spread. It’s about stopping the source of terror, not punishing the criminals after it has already happened”

If it was anyone other than Chloe, Max wouldn’t have been bothered to consider the words in any kind of serious way, but watching her friend looking so passionate about her opinion, actually made her take a mental step back and consider it.

“I mean, I can understand the people actually involved, the people that had a family member murdered or something would want to see the guilty one suffer, but they would have to set aside their hate to make the world a better place”

And she really did understand Chloe’s point-of-view, but the flaws in her logic were also quick to show themselves.  
“But then, wouldn’t people just be more likely to commit crimes, since the punishment isn’t that harsh? And if I killed a kitten for fun, wouldn’t you be mad at me?” Max asked before continuing to think about it; more than willing to make Chloe work for her stance.

“I would make sure you got help, so you didn’t do it again. I would be mad, yes, but the madness doesn’t benefit anyone. And I don’t think people would be more likely to commit crimes, no. Most people don’t do bad things because they don’t want to. You shouldn’t abstain from criminality because you fear the punishment. You shouldn’t be a criminal because… it’s bad” In the short pause, Max sensed that Chloe was close to running low on convincing-fuel, but she was still somewhat surprised, if not perturbed about the words Chloe used to share her opinions and beliefs, as it was done so well; not sounding like it came from such a young girl, but more like it came from someone else entirely.     
“Okay, kind of fell apart there, but you know what I’m saying”

Despite her wonderings, she did know what she was saying, but she didn’t entirely agree.  
“Right, you shouldn’t but you will. If killing someone would only place me into some cozy building with someone I had to talk to about my problems, I think I’d be more likely to do it. Sometimes, the fear of punishment is one of the things that keeps us well-behaving. And with some people, it’s the only thing” Max allowed herself to take a short breath while avoiding Chloe’s gaze as to not be distracted.  
“I don’t know. It’s an… admirable mindset, but I’m not sure that would work. Not saying that sending 1% of the entire population to prison, then basically charging them for being there, forcing them into a huge debt and then expect them to be obedient citizens afterward is working either, but I don’t think there’s a perfect solution”

And as she closed the discussion with the classic “there is not right answer”, Max had a small window in which she considered why Chloe would have such a mindset, but in actuality, it was quite obvious. She had yet to see the horrors of the world, yet to feel that burning flame of hate in her guts. Chloe trusted people- or she used to- which made her believe that hate was something that we could live without. But it wasn’t like that. And in the future, more than anyone, she would come to realize that.

Bopping her head a little to the side, Chloe wrinkled her nose. “You pessimist” she whispered.  
“Alright, on that surprisingly heavy conversation, it’s my turn” And then she went right back into her status and smiled egotistically.  
“And I’ll make sure it doesn’t get so heavy. Let’s blast through some questions and dares instead, huh?” She let out while tapping the nail on her index finger against the wine bottle, making a small clinking sound.   
“What is your favorite song that is out right now?”

“Rigamaroo” Max was quick to let out, having clear memories of chilling in Chloe’s bed while listening to one of her playlists when that song came on, and she had to admit to the chills that came to her. However, she wasn’t entirely sure if that song was even out during this timeline.

“That’s a… sound. Who made it?” Chloe certainly didn’t know it yet.

Max was quick to recall that she had asked that very question to Chloe as she wanted to add it to her own playlist. “Sleepy Sun” She responded confidently. 

“Wow. Killer name, but still… no idea” Chloe shrugged.

“Yeah, a… friend showed it to me” Amidst the slight pause, Max became very aware of how she sort of stared at Chloe, watching her nodding slightly with a small gap between her two pink lips.  
“My turn!” Max declared to force herself out of her thoughts and continue with the game.  
“I dare you…” Chloe’s ears immediately perked as this was the first dare that would come into play.  
“I dare you to send an email to our teacher, Mr. Razvan, and tell him about how your day is going” Presenting a mischievous smirk, Max raised her eyebrows, almost breaking into laughter when she saw Chloe confidently pulling out her phone.

“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled” Chloe responded while already tapping away on the screen. 

“What are you writing?” Max questioned while leaning in, awaiting the answer that came after a few seconds.

“Hello, Mr. Razvan” Chloe began reading while being able to type the last few sentences down on her phone.  
“Today I ate some chicken that I made without any help”

“Lies” Max frowned while inching to the right to avoid the light shining in from one of the streetlights outside.

“And now I’m having a great time with Max. Max Caulfield. BTW, how did she do on her last test? She claims she got a B+, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know what polymer is, so just between us, pal to pal… she got an F, amirite? Have a nice day!” She ended with emphasis as she smacked the phone to the ground a little harder than what looked intended and titled her head to really portray the “no big deal” expression she pulled off.

“He’s going to be so weirded out” Max stretched her arms while bending the toes in her white socks.  
“I did get a B+, though” She looked at her skinny legs in her jeans, still coming to terms how short she was.  
“And polymer is a type of metal” suppressing a yawn by pressing her tongue up against the roof of her mouth, Max felt her body falling down an inch and blinked twice to clear her vision.

“It’s a molecule” Chloe swiftly stated with such confidence, and given that Max was actually not sure about her statement, she accepted that she had just been schooled by Chloe.

“…” And it was not a nice feeling.  
“My turn!” Max quickly exclaimed, hoping there would be no recollection of this in the future.

…

“Have you ever lied to your parents about what you were doing after school?”

“Yeah, kinda. I said I went to your house to study when all we did was put cocoa powder in the coffee maker in a desperate attempt to get hot chocolate”

“It was a freaking miracle that it even kind of worked”

“Alright, Max. My turn!”

“Who is your crush at school?”

“I can’t believe you only asked that now”

“It’s Boomer, isn’t it?”

“Eurgh. No”  
“It’s you of course. All day every day”

“Gasp. That’s indecent!”

“Okay, Chloe. Now that we’re on the subject”  
“Have you ever found any girls attractive?”

“Are you accusing me of being a less bean?”

“I’m serious, Chloe”

“Hm. I… No. No. Girls are annoying”  
“Besides you, of course”

“So you’re saying you’re attracted to me?”

“It’s my turn to ask something, not yours”  
“If you were a billionaire, what would you spend your time during?”

“Meth. My turn”  
“Do you think you’re always going to cherish the past?” 

“That’s… an odd question”  
“I think when you’re a kid, it’s easier… to be happy, you know? So you’ll probably cherish that part of your life”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. That joy is just gone when you become older, right? I mean, as a child, you could get that… tingly feeling in your stomach, by the smallest things, like staying up late and eating candy, and now… I don’t know. I think that’s why people mess around with drugs… or become so desperate for love. Because that’s one of the rare moments where you get that feeling that was so easily attainable when you were a kid and is just shut off in the past”

“Well, you… you got me?”

“Well, yeah, but I can’t exactly snort you”

“No, I mean… no. You’re probably right”

“Something wrong? Your face has fallen down like two sections”

“No, I’m fine”  
“And that counts as a question, so it’s my turn again”

“Actually, why don’t you ask a few questions in a row? I enjoy answering more than asking”

“Alright, ehm…”  
“Do you believe in God?”

“I do not”

“Who was your first kiss?”

“That weirdo Alex from 5th grade, thanks for bringing that up”

“Sorry… eh, could you go two months without talking to your parents?”  
  
“If there was a reason for it, like… I don’t know, probably. Maybe”

“Follow-up: Would you sacrifice yourself to save your parents?”

“Max, that’s way too heavy”

With a little sense of discomfort, Chloe reached for the bottle of wine to obey the rules they had laid out as she didn’t want to answer, but immediately stopped when she noticed the distant expression on her friend and how she had curled up, stifling her breathing through her mouth. The curiosity inside Chloe kept rising, having wanted to know what exactly had been bothering Max throughout the day and she kind of feared that her father or mother had some sort of illness, given that she always reared the conversation into something about the loss of parents.  
  
She sighed while retracting, deciding not to go into it.  
“Yeah, I think I would. Or I know I would. It would be pretty awful to continue living, knowing you could have saved the people that had taken care of you your whole life, am I right?”

But even though Chloe had already put on a comforting smile on her lips in an attempt cheer Max up, she noticed straight away that it wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Downright the opposite it seemed as Max subtly rubbed her eyes while taking a shaky breath.

“Do you… do you think staying together with someone because they used to have a special bond in the past is right?” And Max knew how she was coming off, but the way she felt her insides tremble convinced her that it was time to give in. To no longer make the questions subtle as the day was coming to an end, the sun going down over the houses and darkness crawling closer.

“What? I don’t really know how to answer that” Chloe seemed uncomfortable as she ran the nail of her index finger across her jeans, only to curl it up in the palm of her hand, physical suggesting that they should move on, but Max was in too deep to move on now, and she could even admit to herself that she wanted to dig deeper.

“Would you give up your own sense of morality in order to feel safe?” The very words made her skin crawl and she immediately backtracked from her previous conviction as she silently begged Chloe to not answer, because if she did, and if she said no, she could only imagine herself breaking.

“Max, what the h? Are you sure you’re okay?” This time, rather than avoiding her friend’s gaze, Chloe actively tried to catch it as she adjusted her sitting position so she could quickly scoot closer to Max. 

Max only noticed Chloe’s change in position when she felt a shoulder gently nudge hers and it was just enough pressure, just enough touch for her feel herself opening up, and although she instantly fought to keep her tears far away, the redness in her eyes revealed her distress.

“Hey, you know how Truth or Dare always ends up with someone daring another person to kiss them?” Max let out, not even caring that she was now sobbing because if she were to feel the precious sense of love that had been lost, it would be now. Before anything else.

“Yeah, when you play with immature people desperate for any kind of touch from the opposite gender. So dumb” While Chloe presented a subtle smirk in an attempt to cheer her friend up, she had mistakenly said something wrong again and the determination inside Max began fading. If she were to find out if Chloe had feelings for her, if she could kiss her worries away, it would be now. 

“Well… I dare you to…” An uncomfortable electricity danced on her spine when she started talking.  
“to…” It was too real, yet too fake. Her courage vanished with every uncertain tremble of her finger.  
“Hug me” A bittersweet taste spread on her tongue and she couldn’t open the window in fear of the glass breaking, but even so… she could really use a hug.

Still with her shoulder bumped against Max’s, Chloe held her distinct gaze that made her eyes shake slightly from side to side as if she was searching for something. “Okay” But she came to and took a breath while preparing herself to get up from the floor, reaching an arm under Max’s to pull her up as well.

Although a little unprepared, Max allowed herself to be partially lifted while using the hand on the floor to give her a boost. Her legs almost gave in under her when she stood up, and it didn’t help that Chloe was so carefully standing in front of her, simply observing her. However, when they faced each other in the quiet space, the tranquil atmosphere coated with a blue tint, Max found herself doing the same. She observed Chloe. She didn’t analyze her, didn’t try to read her facial expression, but she simply looked at her and felt so many emotions that it all blended into something she couldn’t comprehend. And just then, she gave in and pulled her arms around Chloe who was fully prepared and did the same, and although she simply thought that her friend needed comfort for some unknown reason, there were other intentions that made Max cling to her.  
The recognizable aroma of the beautiful girl went right to her brain and benumbed her body. Without knowing it, she had longed for the embrace of her friend and it was overwhelming when her heart retrieved a fraction of the love it had lost.  
Without thinking, without being able to, Max ran her right hand up Chloe’s back to feel her long hair passing through the gaps between her fingers and stopped when her thumb touched her neck.  
She squeezed a little tighter. Chloe stayed still.  
Her left hand went in the opposite direction and instantly a tingling feeling ran through her bones and she had to stop herself from dragging it further down than the hip.

“Ehm, M-Max?” Chloe stuttered while loosening her grip and removing her hands from her friend’s back, clearly trying to break the hug.

But even though Max no longer felt the hands on her back, and even though some part of her brain told her to stop, a much more vigorous part urged her to lean her face in and rotate slightly to rest her lips on the side of the girl’s neck while breathing through her nose to envelop herself in her friend’s scent and when she squeezed a little tighter yet again, she kissed the soft skin before her lips and ran her left hand up her back, gently tracing the spine with two fingers.

“Woah!” Chloe exclaimed in surprise as she rather forcefully ripped herself free from Max’s arms and even gave a minor push on her shoulder to then take a step back and defensively lifted her arms in front of herself.  
“Wanted to test if I lied with the whole ‘not into girl’s thing’?” She chuckled nervously.

With all the thoughts that rushed through Max when she came to, not a single coherent sentence could be forced out when she froze. She only breathed in and filled her lungs with thick air as she watched Chloe sending an addled and startled stare back to her.

“I’m- I’m so-“ She felt a hint of anger amidst the shock, a trait of disappointment circling the regret.  
She couldn’t say sorry because there would be no integrity behind it. She got lost in her emotions.  
  
Suddenly two knocks sounded on the door making Chloe shoot her eyes open and she swiftly ran past Max while cursing under her breath before grabbing the bottle of wine and tossing it under the bed, just as Max’s father walked in.

“Hey, just wanted to say goodnight,” Ryan said nonchalantly before looking up, seeing Max standing tensely in the middle of the room and Chloe briskly turning around, not hiding her startled expression quickly enough.  
“What- what are up to?” He questioned with an obvious touch of suspicion to his voice while scanning the room.

“Nothing” Chloe was quick to respond, forcing herself to calm down.  
“Max and I were just playing, you know, eh… truth or dare and she dared me to, eh…” She subtly glanced down at the floor, making sure the wine bottle was out of sight.  
“Well, it's best you didn’t know” She faked a chuckle while looking back at Max who swallowed and finally let herself exhale.

“Yeah, we were just playing around” Although she wasn’t unaccustomed to lying to her parents about minor mischiefs, she found it difficult to place herself and just silently thanked Chloe for her quick wits, hiding the wine.

Ryan took another second to assess the situation, knowing full well something was off, but when he presented the girls with a fair smile it was clear he decided to let it slide.  
“Okay, but just go to bed soon, alright? And Chloe…” He changed his focus, which nearly made Chloe jump.  
“Should we drive you home tomorrow, or are one of your parents coming to pick you up?” He asked with a soft voice, signaling that he was more than willing if need be.

A little taken back, Chloe allowed herself to feel relieved and relaxed her shoulders.  
“Yeah, no, my dad will, eh- he’ll come by around noon”

To that, Ryan simply nodded and turned around.  
“Well, see you tomorrow then” He let out, closing the door behind him, apparently not wanting to spend a second longer in the room than necessary. 

“Goodnight” Both Chloe and Max yelled simultaneously just as the door closed and there was one less problem to deal with.

“Holy shit, that was close” Chloe sighed while rolling her eyes with such force that it apparently made her turn on her heels.  

“Yeah…” Dazed by her inability to focus, Max looked around at the objects in room seeing them float inches above their respective platforms and what she saw differentiated from what she knew, making her feel as if she was spinning, and in that exact moment, she knew she had to distract herself without letting her thoughts take a hold of her, because right now, whatever caused it, she felt scared. Her eyes found somewhere to lock on, but what she saw didn’t calm her. It was a black journal on the nightstand with stickers all over on the front page. It was the journal she wouldn’t get until she turned eighteen.  
  
_And that fucking picture of the railroad… it doesn’t belong here. Not in this timeline._  
  
She tried to speak, tried saying Chloe’s name while pulling on the “o”, yet, some part of her brain was already thinking about it.

 _This is, fuu- this is… no. Forget about it. Ethan, no… shitshitshit._  
  
Her heartbeat rose when she noticed how dark the room had become and it frightened her that the corners in her room were pitch-black and the space under her bed exhaled.

_You can’t freak out now! You’re in the past! You’ve never had a panic attack before, you shouldn’t be able to trigger it by simply thinking about it. Your body is not sleep-deprived, you’re thirteen, just focus. Don’t let it FUCK!_

She took a breath and closed her eyes, but opened them just as quick.

_This is perfect! You’re in the real world, the future never happened, Ethan can’t hurt you and you haven’t killed thousands of people… but is the future still there? Am I even real right now? I can’t ignore it! I control nothing, and I need to call Ethan’s daughter! But will that make me sacrifice Chloe?! If I call Ethan’s daughter and return, where the fuck would I end up?! Chloe already said it… what if calling Ethan’s daughter marks the spot where I… changed my mind?_

She was on the edge, still fighting to take a step back and she only feared what her fear would become when the circle was complete.  
She couldn’t figure out whether or not time had seemed to slow down or sped up, but she suddenly saw Chloe in front of her, trying to catch the gaze that she no longer controlled.

“You alright? Look, if this about that hug… you don’t have to worry, alright? I’m not mad” Although Chloe’s voice was so recognizably soft, it did nothing to calm her as it just highlighted the fact that she wasn’t alright.

“I need to lie down” It felt as if her stomach began twisting inside of her when she turned to face the bed and she remembered everything about this very sensation, and she knew it would be useless to describe it to someone who had never experienced it. An overwhelming thrust of unease. 

Max walked a little in front of Chloe before she crawled onto the bed, tracked her cheekbones with her fingers and lied down on her back, staring dead at the ceiling.  
  
“Max, you look really freaked and it’s kind of scaring the crap out of me” Chloe admitted while standing next to the bed, scratching her arm nervously. 

“I’m not going to lie and say everything is fine, but…” She wanted to chuckle but it just came out as a forced huff instead.  
“I just don’t want to feel this way again. Not here” She didn’t know what to say to make it clear and she could only guess that Chloe thought it was something about the hug. Probably thinking that Max was having some sort of existential crisis because she just realized she was gay or something to that extent.

“I’m gonna get your dad” Chloe’s tone of voice revealed that the assertion was just as much as a way to calm herself as well as Max, and this time, Max actually did want to chuckle when she remembered having said almost the exact same thing when Chloe was having a panic attack.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t remember how she denied the offer back then and simply took a breath and made up her own reassurance.  
“No, please… I just need to… to calm myself” Oddly enough, the fear came in waves, which was something she was unfamiliar with as she had never actually tried to fight it before.  
“Can you… will you please lie down next to me?” She tugged a little on the pillow her head was resting on and moved her body a little to the side, convincing herself that she didn’t ask in some scheme to fulfill her desires of being near Chloe, but because she legitimately feared that she would drift into some dark place. 

Which was something Chloe needed to be convinced of as well, as she clearly hesitated, turning her head and looking away. Even crossing her arms reluctantly.

“I won’t do anything, I swear” She forced herself to calm her voice to show her sincerity and she was certain that she wouldn’t touch Chloe unless she showed content. 

There was another moment of hesitation from the girl, but this time, she looked at Max with still eyes, a gaze that spoke a silent promise. “Okay” and she lowered her head.

…

Lying above the covers, Max had now been trying to control her breathing for what had seemed at least ten minutes while Chloe was lying next to her on her side, her cheeks resting on the white pillow. She had asked Max a series of questions about what was going through her head but had stopped when she noticed how she didn’t want to give a clear answer.

Max turned onto her back once more, begging for the feeling to just pass so she wouldn’t have to fight it anymore, but she was in a state of panic with a false urgency. She was angry at herself for considering her options and scared because she couldn’t reach an answer. She didn’t know herself anymore. She felt ashamed to admit that Ethan had managed to get into her head, dug up the past, and smeared it across her face. There were so many future implications, no matter what she did. And the worst part of it all, the one thing she kept ignoring, was the fact that she couldn’t stay here in the past. She felt ashamed that she wanted to, but she had no control over when the past and present would link and drag her back, and the time of blissful carefreeness was gone. She had to go back to the blue-haired Chloe who lost her father in an accident, to Ted yelling things out at random, to Ethan who would never let up, and to her own body that had been through hell and back again.  
And she was unsure if she could handle it. She feared spending a second in that time once more, would break her beyond recovery into such a traumatizing state with so much constant fear that she would go speechless.  
But maybe it wouldn’t end up like that.  
If she just called Ethan’s daughter… maybe the world she would return to, wouldn’t be so painfully cold.

“Look at me” A calm voice suddenly sounded to her left and automatically Max turned her head, only to realize that her breathing had gone out of control, with each inhale being loud and shrill.  
“Relax” Chloe continued while looking so soothingly into Max’s blue eyes, feeling as if she was wrapping her entire body up in a warm blanket.  
“Breathe in through your nose and hold it for four seconds, then slowly breathe out through your mouth” She instructed just before taking a deep breath of her own, prompting Max to do the same. They then held their breath together and Chloe nodded with each passing second. 1… 2… 3… 4… and then exhaled slowly.  
“Keep doing that while focusing on your body” Chloe grabbed a hold of Max’s gaze and kept it, making sure not to look away.  
“Relax your muscles. One at a time”

Max paid close attention to Chloe’s words, feeling her chest opening up and her heart slowing down when she truly noticed the concern in Chloe’s expression.   

“Start with your toes, up to your heels” It was as if all that mattered to her, was to help her friend.  
“All the way up to your head” She made sure her voice was soothing.    
“Feel every part of your body becoming heavy and just continue to breathe” Attentively, Chloe slid a hand across the bed, making a soothing sound against the fabric before she carefully placed it above Max’s hand.

Without looking down, Max nodded while swallowing, sent one last look at Chloe to thank her, and then closed her eyes to fully focus on her body and her breathing. She forced herself to only think of her toes for a minute, then her heels. They became heavy. Her legs, up to her waist. They sunk into the bed. Her stomach, up to her chest, and then… she no longer felt anything.  
  
And her mind went quiet.  
  
Her thoughts took a break.  
  
She fell asleep.

…

She saw her lips with a tint of blue in the cold snow and her pupils were marked with an x.  
The smile turned sour and she frowned. She placed a finger up to her temple and made a motion with a finger to shoot herself.

…

Smoke came out of her stomach and yells were all around. Lying in a hospital bed with two nurses talking next to her, but the words were muffled.

…

A man was sitting at a desk, writing words in a notebook with a stern look on his face. The night lamp on the table making him nervous. He then stood up and walked over to a small bed with a pink blanket crumbled up. He sobbed.

…

She picked up on how one of her fingers touched her palm, and she felt a warmth on her chest. A quiet breathing could be heard next to her and she slowly became conscious. She kept her eyes closed and wondered if this was another dream, but it felt too real. She dug the nail into her palm and she felt pain. She was awake.

It took a couple of seconds with worry before she dared to open her eyes, revealing that she was still in her bedroom with Chloe sleeping next to her and she took a breath, relieved that she was still in the past. Without thought and without letting herself feel, Max removed the covers that had been placed on her, seeing that the warmth on her body came from the fact that she was still wearing all her clothes. She glanced at the girl next to her to watch her sleeping face and the calm lift of her chest when she took a quiet breath.  
Max blinked hard twice to get a clearer vision, then got up, placed her feet firmly on the carpet floor and touched her thigh to feel the phone in her pocket. Whether she liked it or not, this was the chance she had been given to make a choice. She was still here, still in the past and willing to do what her heart told her.  
She was going to do it. Not for Chloe, not for Ethan, but for herself. Because she deserved both the joy and the anguish this would cause her.

Making no sound, Max slipped the phone out from her pocket, opened it up and squinted her eyes at the blue light annoying her vision. She made sure to not allow herself to consider anymore by quickly tapping the numbers on the pad, knowing consideration would lead nowhere.

208-887-0760.

Her mind pressed the call button, but her body froze, her finger hovering. She was about the call Ethan. She was about to warn him. And the moment she would do it, the future would change.  
She was nervous. Anxious.  
Maybe this would be the last time she would ever see Chloe. She could tell herself over and over that calling Ethan wouldn’t mean that she would change so drastically that her future self would sacrifice Chloe in order to save Arcadia Bay, but with how much she had already changed just in a few days, she honestly couldn’t be sure.  
  
She turned her head back to her friend, wanting to wake her up and say goodbye just in case, but something stopped her. It would be too painful and she would rather shut her emotions down and do what she had to do. Instead, she held her gaze and whispered: “I hope I’ll see you again”. Her breath shook.  
“I… I had a great time with you”.

Her finger pressed down. The phone was calling up the number and with still movements, she hovered the phone up to her ear to listen.

One beep.

Two beeps.

She swallowed.

Three beeps.

Maybe he wouldn’t answer.

Four beeps.

Then what?

Five beeps.

And then something happened.

Someone picked up.

“Hello?”

Her legs suddenly felt weak when she heard the quiet voice of a little girl. She sounded tired and she could hear her rummaging a little. 

“Can I…” Max hesitated, quickly rationalizing that she was speaking to Cecilie, Ethan’s young daughter.  
“Is your dad home?” She didn’t think about her tone of voice and it came out plaintive, making her realize how nervous she actually was.  
  
“Mhm,” Cecilie made a small sound of confirmation.  
“But I think he’s sleeping” And then for some reason, she whispered.

Feeling completely missing, she was only a voice that willingly parted with her body.  
“Can you please wake him up? Tell him it’s really really important”

“Who are you?”

And God, each time she spoke Max felt a sting on her neck and shoulders. So innocent, so blissfully ignorant and so oddly contrasting. 

“I’m uhh…” She quickly stopped, having to consider whether or not saying her name could cause consequences or if she was overthinking it.

“Are you a fairy?” Cecilie’s voice immediately rose, and Max let her head fall down and placed the phone tighter to her ear.  

“A fairy?” She questioned, confused.

“Yeah, my daddy read a nighttime story to me where a fairy had to build a whole pa-lace herself and nobody came to help, so she asked everyone for help and it was only the old tree that helped, because he was strong” She spoke slowly, even over-pronouncing “palace”, indicating that it was a word she had recently learned. Perhaps from the book.

“Sounds whacky” Caught up in the conversation, however weird it might have become, Max forgot to tell her priorities apart and she even smiled lightly.  
“I’m not a fairy, no. I’m actually a… I’m a time-traveler” She responded with a secretive voice, humoring the young child.

“What’s that?” Her voice was delivered with a hint of wonder that brought excitement with it. 

“I travel through the past and future to make sure everyone is happy. I’m actually in the past right now” She couldn’t help it. She actually enjoyed making the girl’s eyes go wide as she imagined they did when a quiet gasp could be picked up on. And she was no stranger talking to little kids, being in a family where she was fortunate enough to have two young cousins.  
And Chloe sort of counted as well, of course. 

“What happens to me in the future? Do I become a, eh… a psy- psykool… psy-cho-lo-gist like Daddy?”  
Cecilie really struggled with the word but managed to power through.  
“He says that he also helps people be happy. I want to do that too”

And then it came. Not so much the realization, but more the acceptance that this was not just some girl. This was Ethan’s daughter. His daughter that she had let die in the storm. Her feelings were in a similar place as when Ethan had forced Max to call the family of the victims when they were at the mall, but just much, much worse. She had held a hand against the push of the door back then, but this time she was unprepared. And the door now stood wide open.

“You…” She tilted her head upwards to not let tears dribble from her eyes and took a deep breath.  
“Yeah, you’ll make people happy in the future” And such a sorrowful smile that came to be painted on her lips.  
  
“Cecilie, what are you doing? It’s almost midnight. Stop playing around” A male voice sounded in the background, sounding tired. 

“But someone called” Cecilie had put the phone a little away, making the voices sound distant as she held her breath and stayed completely silent.

“What? Go back to bed sweetie, it’s way too late” He spoke with a soft voice as he came closer, and even though it should have been obvious, Max became slightly unsure of whether or not the man she heard was Ethan. His voice was barely similar to the crazed one she remember. Much more gentle, much more kind.

“But she’s a time-traveler” The little girl exclaimed as if that was somehow an excuse.

“Wh-“ The man chuckled in bewilderment at the statement.  
“Did the time-traveler say her name?” He questioned as some static sounded when the phone changed hands.  
“Hello?” He spoke, and hearing his voice this clear left no doubt. It was Ethan.

Max opened her mouth to speak, but the thoughts in her head silenced her voice.

“Anyone there?”

She couldn’t even breathe when all she wanted to do was to yell.  
Why couldn’t she say it? Why couldn’t she warn a father of his daughter’s death?  
  
_Say it! Save Cecilie and fix the future!_

“Whoever this is, please don’t call here in the middle of the night,” Ethan said it as a request, the familiar tone of patronization and harshness completely absent. 

“What’s she saying daddy?” Cecilie spoke up a little distance away, and the phone in Max’s hand became loose.

“Nothing. I think it’s a prank phone call”  
And once more, his voice became distant as he let his hand with the phone fall down his side, but continued speaking to his daughter for just a little while longer.  
“Now, go grab your blanket and I’ll roll you up and carry you upstairs so you can sleep with your mom and I. Don’t want you snooping around in the living room all night. I thought you were a rat for a second”

But Max wished he wouldn’t continue.

“I’m not a rat!”

She didn’t want to hear another word.

“A mouse then”

Not from the father.

“Dad!”

And not the laughs of his daughter.

But even though her wishes were clear, a chill so powerful that it became painful ran down her spine when she heard the click and the voices were gone.  
  
Her hand fell limp down her side and a disturbance in everything she felt occurred. A fiery glow sparked from nothing in the middle of the room and ended nowhere. Almost as a tear. When she shook, the entire world followed along. It was about to happen. She was about to be transported back to her own time.  
And now, she just wanted the voices back.

“You didn’t do it…” But time had to wait for just a second longer because when she heard the voice of a girl come from behind it, everything stopped.

“Chloe?” Max whispered, turning around as if she was up to her waist in tar.

“Was it because of me?” Her voice was so low and it was so dark that Max could barely see her face.  
But the silhouette of her seemed so small.

“I don’t know…” Max took a breath through her teeth.  
“Am I still in the past?” She tried to drag her feet across the floor to get a sense of where she was, but while the room became darker, the glowing tear became brighter.

“I thought you didn’t love me” And when Chloe took a step forward, the light from the tear lit up her face and revealed her white face and brown hair. She was still young, and still wearing the dark-blue shirt over her underwear while being barefooted.

“I… I have messed everything up” And it felt as if she belonged, or as if she had been here before.

“You can still go to the future and fix it” Chloe kept her distance and stood completely still, her eyes had an omniscient glow but free from the wounding judgment.

“But I don’t want to lose you” Max shook her head slowly, her breath staggering.

“You’re not going to-“

“But I am! You’re the one person I don’t want to lose and you’re not even fucking real! Not anymore…”  
Her emotions found comfort in the anger and penitence, so she tightened her fists with her muscles and let her head fall down.  
“I kept looking for you, but you just disappeared and I didn’t even see it happening and I didn’t even know that it was my fault until you were gone”  
It was so hauntingly quiet in this home of empty space.  
“Give me one more day. Or just one more hour…”  
And there was no god that could hear her prayers.  
“I just… I want to stay with you and not constantly be reminded of what I’ve killed”  
She was afraid to blink.  
“The future is terrifying…”  
Because if she did…  
“And I can’t stop shaking”  
She might disappear.

Chloe finally released the strain and lifted her right hand just slightly, but enough to let Max know that she wasn’t just a voice in an empty soul.  
“I know, Max. I’m scared too” The black space surrounding them became warmer as Chloe nodded acknowledging.  
“And I know all this have made you unsure of everything and I’m sorry...”  
  
Max simply ran three nails on her hand across her leg, not wanting an apology; not finding a reason for her to receive one.  
“Can’t you please come back?” Her voice was so desperately entreating. So pathetically forlorn.   
“Come back to me”  
But how she didn’t care about any of that.

“I can’t, Max. I’ll never be who I was, but… why can’t you accept that?” Chloe’s words were pushed out through a sweltering breath as if she had kept it in for too long, and Max searched her voice, letting the sounds stay in her ears to find the anger to petrify her to stay quiet.  
“I’ve done everything I can to support you and help you through this fucked up situation… so why don’t I deserve to be loved for who I am? I’m at my fucking breaking point out here and caring for you is all that keeps me together, and it’s so unfair” This time, she spoke past Max. Directing her indignation towards a presence behind her.

As Max observed this, all she could focus on was to brace her body when she told herself it was time to actually be present. To not shove away the feelings that were tearing her up inside, and instead, let them out.  
“You deserve love, Chloe. But I... I don’t have the strength to give it to you”  
And even though she had decided, she subconsciously began squeezing a larger area of skin on her arm to reveal fraught.  

It was visible how Chloe wanted to roll her eyes but refrained from doing so by instead turning her head to the side in a glower.  
“I just don’t understand… was it because I hit you? Was it because I yelled at you?” Her gaze sought no destination as she began wavering from side to side in frustration. 

“No! It’s not because you did anything wrong!” Max yelled in a more aggressive manner than intended, but she wanted Chloe to pay close attention to her.  
“The reason I want you and not future Chloe, the only reason, is because I haven’t fucking killed your parents yet!”  
And she got the attention when Chloe fixated a stare dead-on Max’s distraught face.  
“You’re a great person, Chloe. You’re my fucking best friend, but all this that have happened… It did something to me. I don’t know how I can keep loving you without it tearing me apart”  
She slid her hand further up to grab the sleeve of her shirt, wanting to replace a sense with another, or at least diminish the inimical ones.  
“It sucks, but when I look at you, I feel a sense of sorrow for what I have done. Your parents are dead because of me Chloe, and even though you try to hide it, you still miss them so badly, and these past days, I just realized that it hurts to love someone who I caused so much grief”  
Smoke was in her lungs and she wanted to pause.  
“It really hurts”  
But there was nothing that could distract her and nothing that could kill her.  
“I’ve been to the very core of you, and I learned that your heart stings mine”  
There was only the tickling pain from the point of the knife before the blade pierces the skin.

The poignant eyes of Chloe were searching for a way to comprehend the acknowledged words, and even though she wanted to understand, she couldn’t tolerate the truth.  
“But I need you… I need us. A city has been destroyed because you believe in us” She took one step closer, but the distance remained the same.  
“Or… I thought you did” Spoken through teeth, her face became sick with lament.  
  
“Chloe, I-“ As she spoke, the tear in the darkness became wide and unstable, grabbing Max’s attention and muting her voice.

“Just promise me this” The world gone to her, Chloe spoke as if a noose were tightening around her neck.   
“When it comes down to it, when it’s all over and I ask you the one question in which the answer could break me, just… lie. All I need is the lie and I can live on”  
In what dreary place her eyes wandered there was no telling, but her face told the events of trepidation and her hands sought to the cold ground that provided no stability.  
“I know it’s wrong and I know it will be tough for you, but… I will be able to let you go”  
Only a second before Max blinked, did she see how Chloe’s hair had suddenly changed, the slash in her jeans and the mud on her boots.   
  
“What are talking about?” She bit down, shaking her head in annoyance of being stuck here but afraid to leave.   
  
“Don’t worry… it’s mostly for myself I’m saying this”   
  
“Is it just because you’re in my head and I’m fucked up that nothing of what you’re saying is making sense?!” She could feel how the space around her, wanted to mess with her mind. But the sensation was too familiar to let it get to her completely.   
  
“No, Max. You’re in my head, and I can’t get you out” Yet, Chloe did the same. Like it was all some sort of sick joke that she wasn’t in on. Just filling her head with questions.

And as if this girl with no time to belong to had all the answers, Max shot her eyes open and felt her old self beginning to emerge.   
“Fuck that. I don’t need this cryptic shit right now. I just need to know if this is ever going to be all over?! I failed, Chloe. Ethan loved his daughter so much and he will do everything to get her back!” She shouted to stop herself from noticing how her vision began to blur.   
  
Chloe allowed the pause, allowed the anger to die down for a second until she spoke again.  
“Why do you think you got your powers?” This time, a calm sadness was surrounding her.

“I don’t know…” Max didn’t give herself time to think as she saw the girl in front of her becoming transparent and the tear becoming wider.

“I think it’s because God trusts you” Her voice became gradually lower.  
“So why do you think Ethan got his powers?” Her existence fading.

“I don’t know!” Max yelled out in what she wanted to be anger but knew to be guilt.  

“Me neither… I know that he doesn’t trust Ethan” Her eyes closed.  
“So why would he have powers?” And they never opened up again.

“…Chloe, I’m-“ She could only utter, but words were short, tears were pointless, and time was up.  
  
It was a flash that made everything blurry and the tear that glowed so bright that Chloe disappeared.

It was the cry that called out to her.

It was the silence that broke her.

And when she closed her eyes…

She knew she was gone for good.

The past was had slipped through her fingers.  
  
The present was all she had left to hold onto when she opened her eyes.

She was back.


	44. Act The Part

She felt a thump in her chest and at first she thought it was her heart, but her vision cleared up just soon enough for her to see it was a person who had run into her with their whole body, effectively tackling her. With no time to prepare herself and with her body refusing to respond to the signals her brain were sending out, she fell backward, completely limp, and landed on her back on something soft. A grunt sounded and she couldn’t tell if it was her own or the person who was now lying on top her.  
Her whole body tensed and it felt like a momentary seizure when she was unable to move her arms, only to realize they were restrained. She closed her eyes shut so hard she could and gasped.

“Fuck” the person on top of her mumbled, and with the voice that she heard, her vision could connect the dots and formed a clearer picture when she opened her eyes again.

The edges of every shape were still blurred, but the colors were so distinct and had an odd shine to them as if they were reflecting beams of the sun. The brightest color of them all being the blue hair on Chloe’s head, her face falling from frantic into confusion.  
Even though she had forgotten nothing, everything felt as if it came back to her and it made her see the familiar roof above her, made her conscious of the bed she had been thrown on and made her feel Chloe’s grip around Max’s wrists. It made her realize that just before she traveled through the photo, Chloe had run towards her in a desperate attempt to stop her.  
But she still couldn’t hear anything.  
And it took another second to realize as to why.  
It was because no one said anything.

The pressure on her waist became stronger, but the grip on her wrists looser. The eyes looking down on her seemed to struggle to find their place, gradually replacing black with blue and Chloe finally allowed herself to breathe if not only to cover the sound of her heartbeat. Her hair was falling down next to her face and she curled her lips and moistened them prudently with her tongue. Extending one finger on her hand, she cautiously stroked the side of Max’s hand and then bit the inside of her lower lip. 

“Chloe, don’t…” Max whispered out with a hoarse voice, knowing what was on Chloe’s mind even with her own being impaired.

Chloe seemed to react, but furthermore, the words made it look like something clicked inside of her and she suddenly tightened the grip around the wrists again, even harder than before.  
“You fucking did it” It was clear how she tried to remain calm, but the exasperated breath she used in which to speak gave away the anger.  
“I can see it on your face” And that anger came from the absolute disappointment of Max having gone against Chloe’s wishes of not returning to the past.  
She quickly turned her head towards one particular spot in the room, to see the young man standing at the exact same spot and with a giant question mark just hovering above his head.  
“But if you called Ethan, why is Ted still here?” Her frenetic gaze was quickly aimed back at Max.   
“What the fuck did you do?!”

Max processed all the movements and sounds, but it didn’t register correctly with her. She failed to care, failed to feel anything but loss. And because of that, she didn’t respond. For that reason, she didn’t acknowledge her own existence.  
  
“Is she all right?” The feeble voice of Ted came with a question and a linger. 

Chloe looked at Max for another second but only saw the eyes looking through her.  
“She is overwhelmed, but I don’t know” She shook her head, wanting to sound concerned, but realized it would have no impact. But she was perturbed.  
“Thankfully she didn’t call Ethan’s daughter it seems,” she said before breathing in, loosening her grip and got off her friend. She slowly got on her feet next to the bed and did one last attempt to get any sort of confirmation.  
“Right?” She craned her neck, directing the question at Max but saw that she didn’t move a single muscle.

“No, she didn’t” And the voice of Ethan that was finally recognizable with its disdain coming from the phone that had been tossed on the ground.  
“But she’s going to go back again, and do it properly this time” It was clear to tell he was incensed and in want of nothing that sounded as a compromise.

However, Chloe completely ignored him and turned her whole body around to face Max again, letting her concern finally show by bending over her and laying a hand on her shoulder to get her to respond, but Max was just a daze, an existence that took a breath without purpose, so mentally torn to shreds that nothing felt real.

“Ethan, I think you’re going too far…” With uncertainty, Ted took a few steps closer to stand in the center of the room, his voice changing when directed at the man on the phone.  
“Max looks really traumatized” He spoke as if there was any kind of hope that he would be able to convince Ethan to somehow change his mind.

And unsurprisingly, Ethan didn’t show any hint of compassion but only because she was listening, Max heard something she mistook for courtesy. “It will all work out for everyone, trust me”.  

As soon as Ethan spoke out these fraudulent words, Max shivered a little before burping in her throat, feeling immensely sicker than she remembered. It didn’t cause Chloe to stop her attempt at grabbing her attention, however, but Max, being overwhelmed by the feeling of being back in her present body, didn’t even blink. It was too much at once, and her brain couldn’t process everything, therefore, she just shut down. She was still present, still conscious of her existence, but unable to perceive anything psychical with the image of the younger Chloe still burnt into the back of her eyes.  

“Hey, eh, Chloe?” Ted’s voice sounded extraordinarily timid even for his standards as he leaned closer but stood his ground, still a good seven feet away from Chloe and Max.  
“I still don’t believe in the whole time-travel thing, but Max obviously did something since she seems so… I don’t know” He tried to hide his glance at Max by hovering a hand in front of his face.  
“Do you think she’ll be able to try it again? Whatever it is” His teeth were screwed together, his jaw barely moving as if he anticipated a scolding for even making the suggestion.  
  
“No, Ted. She shouldn’t have done it, and she certainly won’t do it again. It could kill her” Chloe wanted to turn her head to look at him, to grant him some sort of respect but kept her attention at Max.  
“So please, stop siding with Ethan. It’s enough knowing that Tiffany is already involved with him”  
She felt burnt down, well-knowing that she wasn’t able to yell anymore and not wanting to either. The initial shock had passed, and enough time had passed for her body to realize it shouldn’t use its last shred of energy on stimulating fear.  
  
“What? Tiffany has… nothing to do with Ethan” He moved his hand a little further to pinch his earlobe, his voice hinting at the offense he mistakenly received.

“For fuck’s sake, there was a picture of Ethan’s daughter in her purse” Chloe swayed her head to either side while slowly pulling Max’s arms out the sleeves of the hoodie after she had noticed the drops of sweat on her forehead.  
“Either you’re really fucking stupid, or you’re trying to protect her” With no sting in her voice, the words did a great job at making Ted feel belittled as Chloe eventually got Max out of her hoodie.  
“Or Ethan” She didn’t know why she said it. She didn’t really suspect Ted of working with Ethan, but then again… Max probably didn’t expect Chloe to have been working with him.

“Yeah, I’m trying to protect the psycho that’s holding me hostage and slowly killing my friend” But Ted still took it in and made a snarky remark in response, but it was the last word that caught Chloe’s attention and made her turn her head. 

“Max is not your goddamned friend, and if you’re innocent, then Tiffany isn’t your friend either” She insinuated her certainty, letting Ted know where they were at and attempting to end such a needless argument but with the phrasing, she knew she had just made it worse.  

“God, shut up. Tiffany has nothing to do with this! She would never do anything to harm us” But at this point, it didn’t sound like certainty from Ted’s side. It sounded a lot more like denial.

“Yeah, well, you’re biased, so your words mean nothing” Keeping herself from being sucked into a state where she would be sure to yell, Chloe instead turned her head towards the phone on the floor.  
“Ethan” She sighed.  
“Why was the photo of your daughter in Tiffany’s purse? Is she like… your fucking sidekick?” She didn’t care too much if it came across as if she asked ‘dad’ to settle the argument, as she mostly did it out of curiosity. 

“I’ve helped a lot of people,” Ethan said after taking a breath, sounding surprisingly composed despite that he had waited to speak up until he was spoken to. Most likely because he still got a jolly from analyzing their behavior, Chloe thought.  
“Even though it’s detrimental, sometimes being dragged up from a hole makes you feel like you’re in debt to the one that helped you” How, and why Ethan changed his tone so drastically as he so often did was anybody’s guess.  
“They often want to return to favor” Probably some other mental ‘association’ technique.  
“But that’s trivial. I’ve helped young adults, and I’m simply continuing to doing so”  
In spite of his patience, he still sounded like a man who would rather avoid wasting any unnecessary time.

“Aha. Good fucking job then” Chloe scoffed, frustrated by the fact that he didn’t actually answer the question but then again, she shouldn’t have expected anything more than some vague implying answer.

“I’m not going to state as to why- forget it” It legitimately began sounding as if Ethan had reached a point in which he no longer wanted or could keep up the act.  
“Max, if you’re able to hear me, go back through the photo and call my daughter. If you refuse, I will not hesitate one fucking second to shoot Alfred in the back of his head” And it allowed his emotions to flow through his voice that was a mixture of frustration and desperation.  
“The number is 208-887-0760, tell her that-“ But even so, it didn’t deter Max from not only speaking up but actually interrupting.  
  
“I can’t” Her frail voice instantly caught the attention of both Chloe and Ted, but with Chloe most clearly expressing her relief that she spoke, however weak it was, and also to see that she had actually moved to sit on the edge of the bed.  
“I was only in the past for a second before I was forced back” But it wasn’t the energy she had found that made her able to speak, and even lie in the process, but rather, it was an involuntary action. She seemed so detached from herself, felt it too, and she only spoke because her thoughts had finished.  
“My powers has a correlation to my energy and… I’m weak, alright? My powers aren’t worth shit right now” She pushed herself off from the bed, Chloe waiting for her to wobble or even fall but she stayed relatively stable as she began walking across the room.  
The only thing Max could somewhat comprehend about herself was how fake she felt and how easy it was to be so.  
“But I know that the main reason you want me to save your daughter is to twist my morale or whatever, so that I will sacrifice Chloe and save Arcadia Bay” Every word was manual, planted in her thoughts minutes ago and now passing along her tongue. She could tell how she was so messed up, being able to know that any functioning human would be frightened, tired, traumatized, and stressed. And she was. But it had all hit her at once and it proceeded to benumb her. Like being in so much pain and passing out because of it. Only the mental version.  
“That way, your daughter will survive, your grandfather will survive, and hundreds of innocent people will survive” But she couldn’t hide the dark bag under her eyes and her messy hair.  
“I get it” She did her best to convey any sort of emotion her voice, to make it sound convincing.  
“And because of that, I have another plan” When in reality, she was lying with a still heartbeat.  
No longer fearing the thought of going insane.  
Why would she?

“I’m not going to compromise, Max. If something doesn’t go my way, I’ll simply reverse time until it does. Until you do as you’re told. You have no ground to make demands” Despite her efforts, Ethan clearly unveiled his suspicion and as always, wouldn’t have anyone other than himself making the plans. 

“I have, though” As she took one final step, she found herself in front of the table close to the window that no longer brought in any light. She remembered Chloe placing the black scarf on the table. The scarf that had through silent words and lengthy touches been given to Max from Chloe. It was now her black scarf.  
But it still smelled of smoke and a distinct perfume. It smelled like Chloe as far as she could remember.  
“You’re currently threatening Chloe’s grandfather who’ve I’ve barely spoken to” She dug her hand under the scarf and let the fabric slowly slide across the palm of her hand.  
“If I refuse, an old man dies a little early, big whoop” As expected, this statement caused a silent but serious reaction from Chloe as her whole body growled, but she was luckily astute enough to stay quiet as she knew Max well enough to know that she had a reason for saying something like that. Or so she hoped.  
“So in that sense, I have more ground than you, because other than Alfred, your daughter will also die” She spoke with brief pauses.  
“Your daughter’s life is in my hands” If said with any other voice, it would have sounded cold and ruthless, but the tone in which came from Max’s lips, it sounded more… empty. As if she was only speaking to herself.

“If that’s how you wanna play it…” After his words, the sound of a gun being cocked was heard and Chloe nearly jumped up and sent Max a pressing look.  

“I will save her, though” Max quickly let out but without changing her idle voice.  
“Just give me a minute to talk to Chloe in private” From an outside perspective, it may have looked as if Max had the situation under control and was calm and logical while, in all honesty, she was confused and all over the place. It was simply one side of her brain that handled communication while the other was barely active. She was hardly conscious of what she even was doing or what to do next. It just came automatically and she didn’t even care if it would continue to do so.

“I’m not giving you the chance to play me again” And for the first time, Ethan couldn’t analyze her behavior and motives either, making him go on the defensive and not take any chances.

Max blinked in what she believed to be the first time since she got off the bed, and it burned. “Then shoot Alfred. I’m going to talk with Chloe” The only reason she didn’t give in, fell down and stayed there, was because the thought of giving in didn’t even register, as did nothing else. So she kept going without fear. Without hope.

And even though Max didn’t turn her head, Chloe didn’t need the prompt to walk over to her with a provocative body language and eyes ready to pierce.  
“You can’t just use my grandfather like that!” Chloe stated aggressively under her breath while pushing her lightly on the shoulder to make her face her.

“Chloe, I-“ Even looking at her friend didn’t replace the vacant stare Max retained, and frustrated with her questionable course of action, Chloe quickly interrupted her.

“I really fucking hope you have a plan!” She leaned in provocatively, still finding it impossible to grab her attention, and furthermore, it seemed that interrupting Max had made something in her brain malfunction as she stayed silent for a couple of seconds with a blank stare as if she was resetting.

“Ethan shot you at the mall” Was the entirely new statement that eventually came out of her mouth and it pulled Chloe into a dismissive pose, annoyed that Max seemingly ignored everything around her.

“Yeah, that was a great time, so what?” She did her best to cut out the pauses a normal conversation would have and speak quickly in the hopes of eventually getting something from Max that replicated coherent information.

“Why would he do that, if he knew I was going to reverse time?”

Just as well, Chloe had given up trying to catch Max’s line of sight as she was pretty sure not even an earthquake would make her blink. “I don’t fucking know” She sighed resignedly.

“He wanted to see our reactions…” Her lips barely moved either as she answered her own question, making Chloe register that it wasn’t actually a conversation they were having.

“Oh, you’re not actually asking me, you’re fucking- fucking talking to yourself” Might as well, Chloe leaned against the table to her right and began caressing the scarf Max was touching earlier.

“He wanted us to believe he knew when I reversed time” Max spoke quietly.  
“He has a notepad” And every sentence had no connection to the previous, and it unsettled Chloe to such an extent she felt her heart turn in her chest. 

“Come on, Max. I don’t know what to do here. What happened in the past? How do you want me to… to approach you? Approach the situation?” She pinched the edge of the scarf while biting, no longer having the perseverance to look at her emotionless friend. She simply begged it was only temporary.

“In about thirty seconds, I want you to turn around, and say this…” But even so, this caught Chloe’s attention.  
  
At the other end of the room, Ted was standing close to a wall but felt too uncomfortable to lean on it. He had begun fiddling with his long orange hair, finding nothing better to do after Max and Chloe had excluded him from their conversation. He did feel bitter about it, but it was hard to focus on being mad when the fear of being killed by a crazy man was so much more in your face. He tried to reminisce about the conversation he, Max, and Tiffany had in the car the other day. At the time, he was glad he managed to distract Max enough for her to calm down, by talking about why he called Tiffany “Jo”. While the explanation was incredibly simple– it was the first two letters of her surname- he had made up an elaborate story only to get Max thinking about other things, to calm her down. He felt glad that he did so. He felt like a good friend. And of course, were he to be honest with himself, some part of him had taken a liking to Max in a more romantic fashion when she got to talk to her without neither of them being scared out of their skin. The feelings were luckily not strong enough to break his heart when he learned that Chloe and Max were dating, and neither had he no intention of trying to woo Max, even though it seemed the girls’ relationship was ailing, to put it mildly. For all he knew, Max wasn’t into guys anyway and he was happy just being friends. Which is why it kind of sucked he wasn’t allowed to help since Chloe seemed so protective of her, despite Max telling her she didn’t love her.  
He didn’t want to meddle, and it was true, Chloe probably knew how to handle the situation way better than he himself ever could but it just sucked to stand idly by as some bystander who just watched a horrible accident. And what truly sucked was the circumstances of how he had come to known Chloe and Max.

Suddenly, after some seconds of whispers and odd moments of silence, Chloe turned around with a nervous look that she probably felt glad Ethan couldn’t physically see when she spoke.  
“Alright, listen, Ethan. Max do have a plan that will save your daughter and Arcadia bay. But before we tell you anything, I need you to promise me you won’t shoot Alfred a second time” She said as confident as she could and went over the exact phrasing in her head one more time to make sure she said it as she was instructed to do so.    
And it seemed to have some sort of effect as Ethan used enough time to answer that it became notable.

“I will not cause any harm to Alfred or anyone else, as long as you cooperate” He eventually answered after the pause but with a hint of suspicion that peeked Chloe’s curiosity as well.

“Why did I have to say that?” Chloe whispered after turning to face Max while lowering her body slightly, suddenly feeling a sense of urgency in her body.

A feeling that only expanded when Max blinked again, her eyes focused on one spot on the ground as if she was evaluating something.  
“To set the plan in motion” She whispered back, her lips barely moving.

Another wave washed over her, this time filled with apprehension.  
“What do you mean?” The question became stern, and when she heard her own ragged breath she became just frightened enough to lift a hand and take a gentle hold on Max’s left arm while trying to catch her attention one more time.  
“Can you just listen to me, please?” She spoke softly, letting the girl know how much she needed to feel acknowledged and her heart skipped a beat when Max looked back at her, her eyes vehement and assured. 

“I don’t believe Ethan has the power to rewind time”  
  
Chloe’s heart made a single hard thumb, pumping a new dose of blood through her veins as her eyes flickered from side to side, watching every curve of her friend’s face when she stated the one thing that could change everything.  

“He never did”  



	45. The Final Plan

“Alright, Max. You need to tell me, right now, why you think Ethan doesn’t have the power to rewind time”  
Her nose sounded stuffed and the grip she held on her naked arm only became firmer with every breath that followed the rhythm of her heart. The oxygen came in too fast, went to her brain and made her feel dizzy. This could be it. 

“Chloe,” Max said, not even concerned about the fact that it wasn’t a response. She just said the name because it came to her; because the only part of her that had any control wanted her to say it. 

Still rightfully concerned about her friend’s mental state, Chloe slid her hand down and leaned closer, placing her forehead against Max’s and taking a shaky breath.  
“I know your theory or whatever is probably reasonable, but now, more than ever, I am questioning your mental health so I need to have a reason to…”  
She almost said it, the one thing she would never need a reason for. A reason for trust. She curled her tongue and pressed the edge hard against the back of her teeth and slid her hand down the final inch to grab Max’s.   
“You keep mumbling things, so I know your brain is– or already have pieced together some puzzle or whatever- but I am still fucking confused and being confused kinda freaks me out”  
Being so close to her face made Chloe’s vision of Max blurry and she couldn’t tell if she were looking back at her, but chances were, she wasn’t.  
“I'll trust whatever you say, I just need you to talk to me”

It was an ongoing act of whispers, of burning muscles and sore skin.

It seemed like Max finally reacted when Chloe felt the fingers in her hand bend just as she swallowed.  
“Wait” It sounded almost like a whimper before she moved her head to the side, forcing Chloe to lift her head back, followed by a step that broke their connected hands.  
“Ethan, you wanted reassurance that we will cooperate, and we will, but…” Her voice was now loud and clear, speaking towards the phone still lying on the ground, to the man that was losing his patience but hopefully smart enough to not make any drastic decisions.   
“I need to ask something of you”  
  
A few seconds passed, but it was all a different moment for each person in the room. Max tried to regain a sense of apprehension, feeling as if she should, but had unwillingly accepted that she was damaged and no longer with the characteristics that define a human.  
Ted made minimal but visible movements, waiting for his moment to ask yet another question, still thinking he was the most confused one of them all, when in reality, the lack of information on his part had made him the most clearheaded of everybody.  
Chloe, lastly, simply kept fighting the ongoing battle between desire and reason. For all she wanted to do was to hold her beloved friend and never judge her and never mention the fact that she was quiet. She just wanted to make things better. To make things okay again.

But what they all shared in the moment, was the thought of the end.  

“Okay” And as the short answer came from Ethan, it felt unbecoming that there was no objection. No supercilious voice that clutched power. Maybe Max really had backed him into a corner. Or perhaps Ethan could hear how subdued Max was and found no desire to kick a fallen girl.

“As you can probably guess, going through with this plan will end Chloe’s life- or rather- make her not have existed”  
At this point, Chloe came to fully realize that whatever Max had said to Ethan; she was playing him, downright lying to him. Simply because there was no alternative plan to save Arcadia Bay or his daughter for that matter. What Chloe just didn’t understand, was the reason behind Max’s lies.   
“And… I need to talk some things over with her for a couple of minutes”  
Perhaps it was just to buy some time?  
“After that, I promise, I will fix everything… I will save Arcadia Bay and your daughter”  
But never had she been so adept at deceiving as she was at this very moment.  
“I will do what you have wanted me to do all this time”  
And it frightened Chloe, because she couldn’t see or hear any hint of pretense. Only the cold atmosphere surrounding her. And she could simply wonder while waiting for Ethan to respond, waiting for him to process the words as he pictured his daughter in his head, if he was realizing that this was his doing? That all that shit he had pulled had always had the mark of a mentally broken girl at the end?  
Was he proud?  
Ashamed? 

There was no chance she would ever find out through him, but when Ethan spoke again, he sounded concerned and Chloe was unsure if it only sounded as such due to the context and string of current thoughts.  
“I’m tired too, Max. Not as much as you, I know, but tired enough for my main concern to be getting all of this over with”  
It was not the first time he had sighed, but the first time the wind of his breath didn’t graze the air with superiority.  
“But as you have pointed out, we’re both in a crucial spot, so before anything else, I need to know what your plan is exactly”

Chloe couldn’t believe it. Ethan, the terrorist, murder, psychopath, actually allowed someone else to suggest an idea. And it was kind of funny, Chloe thought, that the first time he would, would also most likely be the last time, as the suggestion, the plan, was only to mislead. For what reason, and with what intended outcome; Max was still the only one to know.

“Chloe was the cause of the tornado, or well, the fact that I saved her was the cause” Max began explaining while Chloe made sure to stay quiet, convincing herself that whatever Max was about to say was something she didn’t truly mean.  
“As I said, I can only travel through an image and stay in that timeline for a few seconds, but I don’t need more than that” And she continued with a voice that sounded so spent, well-knowing that this wasn’t the case.  
“If Chloe’s life is linked with the storm– if the universe wanted her to die so badly- then I can go back and kill her” However much she tried, the words didn’t stop Chloe’s heart from rising in her chest and it was visible to see that Ted reacted as well.  
“I have a photo taken in Chloe’s room, with Chloe present. She kept a gun in her nightstand during that time” And despite her own worries, Chloe felt it to be necessary to give Ted a look, telling him to go along with it and not interrupt.  
“I travel back, grab the gun, shoot her dead…” It felt as if everybody held their breath as Max explained this without a moment of hesitation while taking a step to stand next to Chloe, facing the phone in the middle of the room.  
“The tornado that destroyed Arcadia Bay would never have existed and Chloe would be the only causality of my actions” They both glanced at her, surprised to see that she was still sweating despite the cold air that had filled the room when the sun had passed behind the horizon. She was truly sick and watching her still standing, still fighting for whatever reason she deemed worthy, pained Chloe as she wanted her to lie down. She wanted to feed her, make her comfortable and tell her to not worry about a thing. But the situation didn’t call for chivalry. 

“You’ll be sent to prison for second-degree murder. You’ll spend most of your adult life in a prison cell” Ethan was quick to point out, trying not to show his stupefaction at Max’s plan, and it was odd to see hear argue against the very thing that he believed could save his daughter.

“So? I can’t walk two feet without breaking down at this point anyway. I don’t need the space of the world” And as Max continued to speak, it became more difficult to distinguish between the words coated in lies and the voice that illuminated the truth.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t just send you off to shoot your best friend” With another protest from Ethan, Chloe began realizing that Max truly had figured something out about Ethan. This was the first time they had managed to make him sound human.

“Rather have her be shot by some jog-kid with drug issues? She’ll die either way, the way it’s carried out shouldn’t matter as long as the outcome is the same for everyone else” She was so still. Her brain didn’t even have the energy to tell her that she should be overwrought.  
“You’ll have your daughter back without ever knowing Chloe and I ever existed” Her phlegmatic approach prompted Chloe to repeatedly remind herself that this wasn’t going to happen. Max wouldn’t kill her.  
“You conscious would be clean and your family intact” Indeed, she gave Ethan exactly what he had asked for, albeit in a way that he didn’t foresee.

Chloe suddenly felt a push on her arm, turning her head to see Max nudging her with her elbow and it took a second for her to realize it was a prompt to break in.

Although Max was arguably a totally different person at this point in time, Chloe could still manage to understand what her friend asked her to do without even uttering a word, and thus she collected herself and spoke up.  
“Max, what the fuck?!” She exclaimed, trying her best to make the outrage sound as realistic as possible.  
“Sounds like killing me is a fucking stroll in the park for you!” And somewhat luckily, she was no stranger to be yelling at Max so the crack in her voice came naturally and she made sure to yell loud enough so Ethan could hear it clearly. She did have to repress the urge to smile a little as it felt nice to work together once more, though.

Max slowly nodded at Chloe to show her silent praise, apparently approving of her acting skills.  
“It’s not”  
But there were still many things to find discomfort in, many things to cry about and people to yell at.  
“But… I know you’re not happy, Chloe”  
And despite their leverage, despite Max’s eyes finally telling her that she shouldn’t worry, it still became difficult to differentiate the words and the meaning behind them.  
“I haven’t seen you this miserable since the storm killed your parents and friends”  
Because every lie had a grain of truth to it, or maybe it was only the truth that was being used to deceive.  
“Wouldn’t… saving your loved ones be better than this?”  
It was arduous to ignore when Max said it so genuine and even though they wanted to continue, and they would, the very thing she said right now, would never be taken out of consideration for every day that would come and go.  
“This… fucked up excuse of a life?”  
Chloe truly had to collect herself once more to not loose traction and focus, because even a dull knife can hurt with enough thrust.  

“…I need to talk to you first” But at least it made it easy to fake the pain, to sound fraught.

“Yeah…” With Max’s final breath of words, they waited for Ethan to allow them a moment of peace so they could talk. 

The silence revealed the hesitation, allowed their hearts to beat faster and faster, begging that Ethan hadn’t caught on to what they were trying to do. Although Chloe was still unsure of what it was, she knew they only needed a quick conversation so they could find out how to finally end this in a way that they wanted.

“Max, I’m going against my better judgment and trusting you on this one” Eventually his voice came through, open with all, naked in hue.  
“I’m sorry for all that I have done, and for now making you sacrifice your childhood friend, but I truly want to believe that you can see the good in what this will result in”  
It was not difficult to dismiss his apology, but it was uncomfortable one some level.  
“And even though I won’t have met you, I will be forever grateful”  
And although it was easy to tell how much Chloe wanted to roll her eyes, there was a still a sense of honesty to his words.  
“Please, Max. Be sincere and don’t try to trick me again. Please”  
But he had forced their hands and he should know that trust and promises meant nothing anymore.

“I swear to you” Max responded after a second, to act as if she hesitated.

“Okay…” Ethan said, still sounding nervous, but convinced nonetheless.  
“Thanks” His voice sunk.  
“I will stay down here- not because I don’t believe you, but I am more skeptical of Chloe and Ted, however, I will hang up the phone” And fortunately, he was courteous enough to allow them exactly what the girls needed, but again, for other reasons than he believed.  
“Call me back when you are ready, so I... know it's about to happen or so we can say... yeah” It nearly sickened Chloe how Ethan suddenly tried to sound as he hadn’t made their lives a living hell– or worse- as if he was a friend.  
“I will give you ten minutes to talk it over, more than that, I will call you and if comes down to it, I will-…” He paused, not finding a reason for intimidation any longer.  
“Ten minutes”  
His breath was cut off when the phone clicked, and a beholden silence entered the room, finally allowing them to speak freely.

And Chloe took full advantage of the moment, turning to face Max with an urgent look in her eyes.  
“Okay, you’ve gotten us this far and I know you’re… Well, I don’t know what is happening to you to be honest, but do we have time for you to explain to me how you know Ethan doesn’t have the power to rewind time?” She placed a hand under her collar to make some room for her throat, apparently not being able to breathe properly when Max still didn’t look as if she was fully present.

“I make him believe that it’s the only option” She spoke to no one, looked at nothing.  

“No, Max. I’m sorry, but I need you to talk to me and not yourself or whatever”  
Chloe shook her head and leaned in closer.  
“You can go ahead and be all weird in a few minutes, but you’re not the only one messed up and I can’t keep it together if you keep seeing me as empty space”  
It was not only for her own sake but for Max’s as well when she reached out her hand.  
“Take my hand” She let it hover close, her fingers bending slightly, her open palm facing upwards, her look not veering for a second.  
“Please, Max. We’re in this together, we agreed on this, so start acting like it”  
No pauses in her voice, and not a trace of irresolution. If the cold could only be broken by assertion, so be it. 

Max noticed the look in her eyes, gradually making her regain some sort of control over her thoughts, although still hindered and partially numb, she felt a small part of herself answering, and it was enough for her to lift her hand and grabbing Chloe’s gently. 

It was the connection by touch that Chloe felt her friend needed to not only be sentient, but safe from herself as well.  
“I have been with you through all of this, we’re friends before anything else and I will always have your best interest in mind, whether you like it or not. It’s just something that can’t be changed”  
Chloe allowed no room for objections, letting Max know that just as a sister, a mother, a lover, and life-long friend; there didn’t need to be reasons for wanting to protect and care for them.  
“Forget everything, imagine it’s just you and me chilling in my room”  
It was just a feeling– an instinct.  
“Now, talk to me”  
And she transcended this feeling by gently squeezing Max’s hand and rubbing her thumb across her palm, never breaking eye-contact. She kept her here.

“Alright…” She understood, and she appreciated it. Wanting to say many things, failing to think up the words. Instead, as she squeezed Chloe’s hand slightly as well, she looked down and took a breath.  
“At first, Ethan tried to play it out as if he knew when I reversed time in order to make my power obsolete. If he knew when I reversed time, we couldn’t use that against him. But that was a lie. At the mall, we managed to trick him because of that exact reason. We said a name, then I reversed time, then said a new name. We baited him into saying the name, and given that he said the first name, with no mention of the second, we learned that he doesn’t have any idea of when I reverse time”  
Chloe nodded along while Max was focusing on digging around in her brain to recall the events in a way that highlighted the relevant parts.    
“He lied to keep the upper-hand, pretending to be so powerful that we would submit to him and not even try to beat him”  
She was still looking anywhere but at Chloe, but she didn’t want to mention it as she figured it might distract her, so instead she kept brushing her fingers across Max’s palm.  
“That’s why I wanted to test it, to make sure, so I asked you to say those precise lines to Ethan a few minutes back. Remember?”  
And in turn, Max rubbed her thumb against Chloe’s hand when she ended the sentence.

“Alright, listen, Ethan. Max do have a plan that will save your daughter and Arcadia bay. But before we tell you anything, I need you to promise me you won’t shoot Alfred a second time?”  
She repeated it word-for-word, almost with the same nervous tilt to her voice.  
  
“That one. Noticed how he didn’t say “I promise” or “I won’t”?” She asked, finally drawing Chloe into the conversation who made sure to show her appreciation in the form of a small crooked smile.

“Yeah, he said ‘I will not cause any harm to Alfred or anyone else, as long as you cooperate’” This time however, her voice exchanged the focus with a shake, and the breath that followed her words was long and heavy.

“He said that because he had caught on to what I was trying to do, and avoided it. See, Ethan had already shot Alfred a second time. Any other response than “You mean a third time” confirmed that he doesn’t know when I rewind time”  
First now, it became noticeable that Max’s constant slight turn of her head was at the same pace as the words came out, and every stressed word was accompanied by a quick twitch.  
“He is doing it all to act superior”  
And after wondering whether she was aware of her movements, she questioned if she was actually doing the same when she spoke.

“So you think that is also what he is doing by saying he has powers?” Even though she had quietly told herself to be conscious of her own movements, she forgot to give it any attention when she felt a focused heat on select spots on her body.

“Yes,” Max answered shortly, seemingly sensing that something was a little off.

Not wanting to force the conversation into something else, Chloe tried her best to concentrate.  
“But at the mall, you told me you saw him reverse time. That’s how he knew three strangers were about to walk out of the mall, when he ordered you to shoot one of them”  
And she did her best to not let the white dots floating around in her vision distract her, as she wanted nothing more than to hear and understand her friend.

“But did we ever see the three strangers?”  
Uncertain if it was the question or the concern that made Max finally look at Chloe, she decided to blink slowly a few times and felt she knew where Max was going with this.

“No, you picked up the gun he gave to you to shoot one of them, and you tried to shoot him instead” But this time when Chloe spoke, she instantly felt out of breath and had to speed up her sentence to then take a deep breath in an attempt to cool her body down when an uncomfortable heat washed over her.

“Yeah- I… A-are you okay?” Max craned her neck to the side, more than what looked comfortable and her whole body tensed when she asked the question which Chloe felt in the grip that became tighter around her hand.

“Sure, I’m fine it’s just… my body, I don’t know… it feels like I am having a heat stroke or something?” As she said this, she lifted her hand up to her forehead just to make sure she wasn’t actually sweating, but she didn’t feel a single drop, only the heat on her skin which she hadn’t felt so intensely since she was 10 and had the chickenpox.  
“The kickass effects of having not having slept for 40 hours or something, you know” And with that thought in mind, she actually did feel sick. Not nauseous, but incredibly uncomfortable and disoriented.  
“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Continue, please” She simply hoped some of those instincts she so often relied on would kick in and tell her body that this wasn’t the time to succumb to illness.

Max continued to look at her for a second, her eyes focused on one specific spot but Chloe being unable to tell why or even where.  
“Oh, okay… I’m… sorry, but yes. I tried to shoot him but the gun had no bullets because it was a part of his plan. He knew giving me a gun, while playing on my fear, would drive me into attempting to kill him. Therefore, the strangers he mentioned, never came into play” She had looked away again, but the revelation was more than adequate, and if she had the time, Chloe would take a moment to be impressed with Max stringing that theory together.

“Alright, I’m with you” Running her thumb across the upper joints of her fingers, Chloe looked at little more to the right to quickly watch what Ted was doing, but there was not much to notice. And there was something eerie about him just standing there, when, as far as she was aware, he wasn’t immensely sleep deprived.  
“Didn’t you say something about a notepad as well, when you were mumbling to yourself?” Chloe quickly continued as she turned her head back towards Max.

“Yeah, Ethan has a notepad. I’ve seen him use it twice I think. First when all of this began. We were at a standoff with Ethan after I had shot who he claimed to be his brother, Nicholas, and he forced me to travel through a photo to go back three days, to the time you took a picture of me with the stars in the sky spelling out my name” Traveling all the way back to that moment in her mind, Chloe began focusing on some small, unknown piece in Max’s hair, and tried to push herself to gently remove it, but nervous if Max would flinch if she did so.

“Yeah, they actually didn’t…” Chloe admitted, clearly remembering as to why she needed an excuse to take a picture of her and not wanting to bring it up.

“I know. But after I had traveled back, he walked past us, looked at me, then wrote something down on the notepad” It seemed Max was content on skipping past it as well as she gestured her free hand around as if she was pushing air to the side.

“Yeah, I- I know…” Biting down, Chloe tried once more to gather enough courage or whatever it was she needed to remove the small grayish thing in Max’s hair.

“The second time was also at the mall, right after I had traveled back through time after he had shot you”  
Pulling a little, Max moved their connected hands closer to her, making the back of Chloe’s palm rest just above her hip.  
“See the similarities?” With the question that Chloe felt fairly sure she had an answer to, the temperature finally felt as if it dropped just a small amount.

“He, uh- both of the times he used his notepad was after you had reversed time?” In the moment Chloe managed to clear her mind after her sentence, she moved a little closer, lifted her other hand and with her thumb and index finger, went to grab the tiny piece of whatever from her friend’s hair. She carefully dragged it out, not noticing any drastic reaction from Max and got the thing without any further problems. And at closer inspection, showed to be just a piece of crisps or something similar.  

“Thanks. Yes, he used it to keep track of when the timelines changed and to analyze what reversing time looked like immediately after it had happened. To have a reference point, but also to imitate the psychical reaction” Being a little more at ease by Max’s short-lived emotion, Chloe began thinking it through, trying to get to the conclusion before it was spelled out for her, but before she was able to piece together the keywords, Ted took a step forward, catching her attention, barely evoking Max’s.

“Can you, eh… share whatever it is you’re saying with me, or would it best if I stayed out of it?”  
It seemed as if he didn’t really want to ask, but as if it was more of an act to acknowledge that he was still in the room, wanting to say he at least did something in the future. Whether it was helping to put an end to everything or just knowing he at least died trying.  
“Honestly, either way is fine with me”  
However, at this point he was also aware that he probably couldn’t provide much input given the recent subjects.   

Chloe turned her attention back to Max, figuring it was her call but once again she had frozen with the inability to focus on more than one thing. And although she kept quiet about it, Chloe felt parts of her being removed every time the damaged showed itself, like a phantom pain that couldn’t be nurtured.

“I know what I said, but we do trust you Ted, but you won’t understand the plan” Chloe spoke in the absent of another response, unable to shake the feeling that Ted was out of place. It could just be a coincidence that he had chosen a bad day to visit, but hearing Max’s explanation of how Ethan had thought everything out, the concern of him being a pawn of Ethan’s game was still something to be aware of. Or an even bigger piece.

“I probably won’t” Ted sucked in his lips and nodded acceptingly.  
  
“I will tell you what to do in a minute, just stay put. There are cigarettes on the table, help yourself”  
It wasn’t because Ted looked as if he needed a smoke that Chloe offered, even though she had seen him smoke back at the bar, but more to give him something to fiddle with as she remembered him nervously crackling the empty can earlier.  
And she was rather relieved when she saw him give off the laziest shrug she had ever witnessed and walking over to the table.

“Okay okay, anything more? Did anything happen in the past to make you realize all of this?” But there was no time to lose focus and Chloe quickly snapped her attention back at her friend, hoping she hadn’t lost her trail of thought.

“I- uh, we'll talk about that later, but about the fact he shot you at the mall… I have been thinking about that one a lot. Why did he shoot you, then force me to rewind time? Was the only point of it to intimidate us?” Fortunately, Max was still all up on it, and it felt like bonus points when she removed some hair that apparently had been bothering her eyes.

“I am guessing no?” It also felt nice that she was also formulating her sentences in the form of a question to draw Chloe in as well, although she was a little downhearted when she realized their hands had departed when she had turned to face Ted, who now, quite bizarrely was smoking in the corner but more fixated on staring at the burning parts of the cigarette than actually smoking it.

“Right. As he held the gun to your stomach, he asked you what we had found out about Nora, his wife, or possibly his daughter as well, but because we hadn’t found out anything important, your response was confusion and that convinced him that we hadn’t figured anything about him and his daughter. He scared us so we would spill information, but we had none” Max closed her eyes as she spoke this time and her voice slowed down and became a tad weaker. Unsure whether it was because she was tired or just thinking, Chloe decided to not act on it.

“Alright, so he wanted to see how much we knew at that point, still doesn’t explain why he shot me” She began seeing the bigger picture, but curious as to how it would eventually end up. She never underestimated Ethan, but neither did she figure that almost every single move was a part of his plan. It was frightening. Even more so when she considered the fact that even this, this very conversation happening right now, was also a part of his plan.

“He was out in the open, people saw him. It would spoil his challenge, so he shot you to force me to rewind time” However, Max seemed confident, albeit still frail, and Chloe convinced herself to attach her own credence to hers.

“Because he couldn’t do it himself…” And it felt rewarding to have followed along and dare to trust and cling to words once more, shaping a hopeful emotion that could temporarily occupy parts of the others.

“That’s what I think” It truly seemed like a moment of revelation, but however much Chloe wanted it, there was still too much at stake to bet it all on what was, at the moment, only a theory.

“Max, you’re a fucking genius for noticing all that, and I’m really sorry, but none of that is definite proof. It could be- Jesus- fucking dangerous if we act as if he doesn’t have powers and it turns out we’re wrong” Chloe quickly considered different scenarios where all attempts to win would be ruined if Ethan could reverse time. And could have fatal consequences.

“I know, that’s why…” Her voice didn’t lead up to a pause but it appeared anyway and it happened so abruptly that Chloe felt a tiny jolt of electricity running up her spine, fearing something happened to her.

“What?” Chloe asked, clearly trying to suppress her nervousness.

But it wasn’t because something was wrong that she had stopped talking, but it because she had to stop in order to redirect her trail of thoughts to the other side of her brain, allowing her to say something else entirely.  
“First, I eh- just… thanks, Chloe” Max spoke out, sounding confused as if another person had just entered her body to say the line.

“I don’t know what for, but no problem” And perhaps it was, because Chloe couldn’t help but smile, just a little, when she recognized the expression on her face that she so often pulled when puzzled. It was the first time that feeling lost, felt familiar. Oddly enough.

“Do you… do you have a gun in your room?” And the expression stayed, even with the quite serious question.

“Yeah, it’s in- no wait, fuck. It’s still in the glove compartment in the car outside” Not even wondering why she asked, Chloe just felt frustrated that she couldn’t provide what was apparently needed.

“Shit… I can’t go get it without Ethan seeing me” Max’s movements had noticeably become livelier as she seemed to begin forming an entirely new plan in her head. And apparently, she did just that as she leaned close to Chloe and spoke.  
“Alright, here’s what we’re going to do”  
As Max went on to think up a new plan, Ted on the other side of the room went through great efforts to focus on something else than the very situation he was in.

He was almost halfway through the cigarette, having only inhaled around five times. Every time a piece of ash dropped to the ground, he pushed it a little with his foot to then step on it to kill the sparks; didn’t figure that Chloe would mind the ash in a time like this. He tried not to giggle or act in any way inappropriately, but it became increasingly harder to keep to not drift away into his own mind. Having lived with schizophrenia for years now, he could recognize the signs and knew how to deal with them. Contrary to common belief, having schizophrenia didn’t mean he had different personalities, it simply meant, for him at least, that sometimes he just got lost in his own world. He allowed it to happen when he felt it was a losing battle but focused on little made-up games so he wouldn’t randomly blurt something out. That why it was nice to have something to fiddle with; in this case, the cigarette. With his nails, he had made small carvings on the white part and when the first line was burnt, he had to guess when it would reach the next. Surprisingly, he was never off by more than ten seconds. 

“If that’s your plan, why not just get the gun and shoot him?” Chloe suddenly spoke up, raising her voice enough for snapping Ted out of his focus.

“I- I can’t just kill him, Chloe” She tried not to sound hesitant even though she had tried it before; making an actual plan where she had to shoot a person dead was too much.  
“He is just a desperate guy trying to get his daughter back, I wouldn’t… I have already killed enough. I can’t do it again, not even to the ones who deserve it”  
This response quite clearly made Chloe frustrated.

“But Jesus, this is to save us. It’s a kill in self-defense”  
Chloe argued, gesturing with her left hand.

“Chloe…” It was a whisper she used to respond to show her discomfort.

“Yeah, alright. But let me do it then. I’ll go get the gun”  
Although she didn’t want to push, the philosophy of ‘desperate times calls for desperate measures’ had always stuck well with Chloe, but she didn’t know the gross feeling that drills into one's stomach when being the direct cause of someone’s death. And she seemed too eager…

“It has to be me” Max replied.  
“If he sees me or catches on to what we’re doing, then I need to be able to reverse time immediately”

Almost immediately, Chloe flung her head to the side and rolled her eyes. She knew she was right, but to her, it just felt idiotic to see Ethan as a person at this point, when she felt as if he was just a piece of scum.

“It’s too risky to try and shoot him anyway. Besides, if my plan works out and we’re right about him not having powers, we don’t need to kill him” Max barely had enough time to adjust the sleeve that had been gnawing on her arm before Chloe quite abruptly turned her head back and placed a hand on Max’s shoulder.

“No, if we’re right, then it’s my turn to make a plan which will end with a bullet hole through his brain”  
Her voice was that of a whip, leaving no question to her sincerity. She wanted him death.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” Max nodded, placed her hand on top of Chloe’s before taking a step to the left, giving her friend a look to signal for her to get ready before walking past her.

“Wow wow, what’s happening? Where are you going?” Ted questioned fanatical as he quickly placed the lit cigarette down on the table when he saw Max heading for the door.

“I’m going to get a gun” Max responded, not even looking at him and not wanting to either because right now, she didn’t need to be reminded of what she had to lose. Only what had to be done.

“Holy shit. Are you going to shoot Ethan?!” While he didn’t make any attempt to get in the way, he clearly gestured for Max to slow down, wanting at least some information about what was about to go down.

“No,” She said without a trace of emotion just he walked past him and grabbed the door handle.  
“I am going to shoot myself” Her chest rose.

“What?!” Ted exclaimed while turning towards Chloe, wanting her to confirm that Max had gone crazy.

Instead, Chloe walked over to the center of the room, picked up the phone that they had been using to talk to Ethan with and looked back at Ted, placed a finger up to her mouth, gesturing for him to be quiet. 


	46. Hunter Becomes Prey

_Okay… Ethan thinks Max will go through a photo that was taken around a year ago, shoot me… and his daughter will be saved._  
  
Chloe nodded rhythmically to herself as she used these few seconds in silence to quickly go over the situation.  
  
_We need to keep him convinced that that is actually the plan… I will call Ethan, say that Max has passed out or something to buy us some time, then get him to go to another room so Max can sneak out of the house, to the car, get the gun in the compartment. She’ll then come back up- she won’t faint, she won’t faint- and then we’ll… improvise some lines or whatever, until Max… until she kinda shoots herself. Avoid Ethan seeing Max, or catching on to what we’re trying to do. Which is finding out if he actually can reverse time… He won’t shoot Max, but all this time… the only reason he always had the edge was because he could reverse time if something didn’t go his way. We could too, but he was always one step ahead of us. If he really can’t reverse time, and he won’t shoot Max because she is the only one who can save his daughter and Arcadia Bay, then we can easily beat him. So… Call Ethan, pretend Max is still in the room, get Ethan to leave the living room, wait for Max to return with the gun, then pretend to-_  
  
Suddenly, Chloe was forced out of her own thoughts when the door creaked in front of her and then closed quietly. Max had already begun, left the room, and was out of sight, so now it was up to Chloe to move the plan along.  
She looked up at Ted after dialing the number on the phone, keeping him in check while telling him to pay attention if he wanted to know what was going on.  
As Chloe went to hold the phone against her ear, it almost slipped from her hand. She was unable to properly feel the phone, her nerves having become enervated and she was afraid to close her eyes.

“Are you… are you ready?” The voice of Ethan on the line sounded bewildered and Chloe could only wonder what had been going through his mind as she and Max were talking.

“Yes, but listen, Ethan…” Chloe held her hand to her chest, trying to see if she could feel her heart beating and became paranoid when she couldn’t.  
“You’re not on speakerphone, you’re only talking to me. I’ve put Max in my bed so she can rest for just a minute” She began pounding lightly on the left side of her chest, mimicking a heartbeat.

“We need to get this over with. She needs to sleep for at least four hours to regain any sort of energy and we don’t have that kind of time” He spoke quickly, not wanting to consider anything anymore in fear of getting doubts.

“I’ll wake her up, but can I make one last request before… before I fucking cease to exist?” It sounded odd in her mouth, but she found no better way to put it. Slowly, she moved her hand up her chest and to her throat, pinching a thin piece of skin.  
“I just want to talk to my grandfather one last time. Just… tell him how much I appreciate and love him” As she spoke, she added an uncomfortable amount of pressure on her throat with her fingers to alter her voice in an attempt to sound demoralized rather than nervous.  
And it seemed to work, as there was no instant denial, but actually, a pause that almost immediately told Chloe she had managed to convince him.

“Sure” Ethan eventually responded calmly.  
“Twenty seconds,” he allowed before a low rustling noise was heard, while Chloe figured that if it was anybody but her grandfather, Ethan wouldn’t have permitted it. It must have been because he had lost his own grandfather in the storm, probably wishing he had gotten the chance to say goodbye himself.

“Max?” A dry, elderly voice suddenly passed through the phone, so hauntingly familiar that it shrunk the heart in her chest.

“No, it’s- eh, ha, it’s me, Grandpa” She swallowed, wanting to smile but couldn’t as a weight behind her eyes began pushing down, locking her face into a sorrowful scowl. 

“Oh, Chloe, Chloe. Are you okay? What is going on?” His dry and rapid breaths scared Chloe, never having heard her own grandfather in such a severe state of worry and fear and never should she have to, for he had already paid his dues.

“I want to explain everything so badly, but right now, I need you to respond to whatever I say in a way that the man behind you wouldn’t find suspicious” The slight tickle on the back of her shoulders warned her; told her the feeling was about to come back but bit down on her tongue enough to cause some pain to keep focused.

“So you’re not hurt?” Alfred asked with concern in his voice, and unfortunately, Chloe couldn’t tell if he had understood her.

Her fingers began shaking and she felt vulnerable because she was allowed to be so when talking to her grandfather. If she was speaking to Ethan, she would steady as a rock and filled with anger. But that emotion had subsided in a matter of seconds and was now replaced with fear once again.  
“Just stay put, okay? I am sorry I have put you into this mess and sorry that I can’t explain it right now, but you need to trust me, however weird this is going to sound, okay?” She took a breath through her nose to calm herself.

“And Max, she’s okay too?” He responded, having understood Chloe’s request to not sound suspicious and she felt grateful for having such a cool-headed grandfather.

“I need you to distract Ethan so Max can sneak by him out to the car, and back up to our room again”  
Her eyes flickered for a second when she saw movement in front of her; Ted gesturing for either insight or some sort of recognition, but Chloe ignored it to the best of her abilities.  
“Fake having a heart attack and act as if it’s really serious and you might collapse” Not wanting Alfred to fake a response again, she quickly continued.  
“The man will then ask me what is going on, and I will tell him you need your medication urgently, and that he needs to call 911. He will then go to the bathroom to get the medication while Max sneaks by, but do not say anything to her. Just make sure the man doesn’t spot her” She took a few steps closer to the door Max had exited out of, knowing she was still waiting just outside for a signal.

“I love you” Chloe suddenly heard over the phone, almost bringing her to her knees as she felt her eyes welling up.

“Yeah, I love you too. Sorry that… no, fuck that, I’ll just start crying. We’re going to get out of this, and I’ll apologize then” She massaged the side of her head and took a shrill breath, the sick air still succeeding in burning her lungs.

“But-“ Alfred just managed to say before being cut off by his own cough.  
“Chloe, I think-“ The coughing raised in intensity as he sounded as if he was having a severe breathing issue, but knew that he was simply setting the plan in motion.

“You’re the fucking best, Grandpa” She couldn’t smile even though she wanted, it was just impossible, but she did feel a sense of gratitude when she looked down and prepared herself when she heard the phone changing hands.

“Why is he coughing? What the hell is happening to him?! This better not be a fucking scheme!” Ethan had taken a hold of the phone in dismay as the sounds of Alfred pretending to struggle to breathe could still be heard.

And Chloe allowed herself to fall into the pit she had been tiptoeing on to sound startled.  
“God, he- he’s having a heart attack!” She put all her efforts into imitating the emotions she got when he did have heart problems for real a few months back.

“I- you’re lying! You trying to fucking trick me!” Ethan spoke his teeth aggressively but there was enough of a hint of bemusement in his distraught that prompted Chloe to keep going. 

“For fuck’s sake, Ethan! It’s not a fucking trick, he has coronary artery disease and with all this stress…! He needs his medication and then a fucking ambulance!” She yelled back at him, stomping her foot down on the ground with a gasp.

“Goddammit!” It was working.  
“Just wake up Max and go through with the plan!” He suggested, making Chloe instantly run over to the bed, making sure Ethan could hear her footsteps before pushing the bed.

“Max! Max, we need to do this shit right now!” She shouted at an empty bed to the great confusion of Ted standing in the corner.  
“Crap! I’m trying, but she won’t wake up, Ethan! I think she has passed out or some shit!” Luckily, at the moment she said this Ted titled his head back in realization, but kept it there. As if he was contemplating something as Chloe continued to yell frantically into the phone, hopefully loud enough for Max hear it outside the door as well.  
“Fucking- either let me come downstairs right now or go to the bathroom to get his medication while I call 911!” She took in small amounts of air through her nose, limiting the air intake to sound out of breath.

“I’m not letting you come down!” Ethan was quick to state.

“Then get his fucking medication!!!” She yelled at the top of her lungs, scaring Ethan out of his thoughts, forcing him to act immediately.

“Dammit! Where is the bathroom?!” And he finally caved.

“Down the hall next to the TV, to the right, then the first door to the left!” She turned away from the bed, walked over to the door again, with Ted just a foot away, who raised his eyebrows as a way of portraying his impressiveness at the acting. Perhaps also to showcase a slight fear of all the yelling.

“What medication does he need?!” Ethan asked as Chloe could hear he had already started to walk around as the coughs of Alfred got quieter.

“The, eh, fuck… the ones in the brown bottle. It’s something… Nitro…” To add onto her act, she deliberately sounded addled about the name, knowing the full name without a doubt in her mind as she had to buy it several times from the pharmacy. 

“Nitroglycerin?” Ethan questioned, his medical experience showing.

“Yeah! Those! Please hurry, Ethan! Please!” She demanded one last time with a hoarse voice as she knocked on the door, giving Max the go-ahead just as Ethan slipped the phone away from his ears and began running towards the bathroom.

“Be careful,” Chloe said close to the door, holding the phone down by her hip and was forced the take a full breath of trepidation when she heard Max beginning to move.  
  
_Okay, okay. Now I just beg that Max doesn’t have some sort of ‘breakdown’, and wait for her to return. I just hope Ethan won’t find the pills right away. There is a lot… so it might take a while. Hopefully._

“One question” Ted sheepishly let out when he gathered it was safe to speak up, leading Chloe to turn her head with curled lips before nodding once.  
“Why the hell would Ethan get some medicine for your grandfather, when he was threating to kill him anyway? Why would he care?” And the question he asked, made Chloe slightly annoyed. Not because it was a dumb question, not even because she didn’t have an answer, but because she hated to admit it.

“I didn’t think he would either, but somehow Max caught on to… something” She explained with a worn-out voice as she walked over to the table and placed her hands on the surface.  
“She apparently sensed that Ethan still has shreds of a human being, which is something we’re able to exploit” Ted followed along, placed himself next to her and reached out an arm, luckily only to scratch his neck.  
“Alfred is innocent, and Ethan knows this. He is only threatening to shoot my grandfather to have some sort of leverage, but he will not hesitate to shoot him, though. But that’s because he knows Max would reverse time if he did” However, if she really thought about it– and she tried not to- she actually did feel a little safer with Ted here, rather than being alone.  
“He won’t let an innocent man die” She looked out the window, following a fast-moving gray cloud with her eyes.  
“…I hope” The wind was apparently blowing hard.  
“He’s still a fucking piece of shit, though” She chuckled with an annoyed tone, but felt just friendly enough, and just frightened enough that she lightly bumped her shoulder against Ted’s.  
“I just pray to God he won’t shoot Max in case everything goes to shit and he catches on to what we’re doing” Looking back out the window, it seemed like it was just about to rain.  
  
…

She counted the steps she took, but she must have done something wrong.

_Twelve, thirteen, four…teen? Open your eyes._

There had been too many steps down the stairs and opening her eyes with a pound in her chest, Max saw there was still at least five left. Luckily she was crouching so if she did fall due to fatigue, at least she could curl into a ball and roll down the stairs.  
She took another step, starting to feel a familiar feeling but actually, in the moment she acknowledged the feeling, it was all over her. She didn’t even get a chance to say “Not now, please. I am literally at high risk of dying, don’t do it” but of course, it was like telling someone to not think about the little annoying thing on the center of their neck. Even though there was none, they’d still feel the urge to rub their neck.  
Instead of it being on her neck, however, it was in her mind, and instead of being annoying, it was driving her mad.  
More or less like the time she ran out of the hotel after having sex with Chloe in some crazy… state of hallucination.

Finally, she reached the bottom of the stairs.  
Or so she thought.  
When she took a step forward, she actually plunged down. For quite a while, even.  
When she finally landed, it was soft. She looked down, and she was indeed at the bottom of the stairs now.  
For the one second she felt somewhat conscious of herself, she took a breath, looked back up to see an elderly man looking back at her while coughing excessively but he slowed down just a little, his eyes wandering around in confusion.

Max wanted to hush him, but realized that it wouldn’t make any sense. Neither could she, because when she went to lift her arm, a chill passed by making her muscles tighten and she almost laughed when she noticed she was just outside the house. Or at least, that’s what her eyes told her.  
She figured her brain must have passed out somewhere on the way, leaving gaps in her memory, while her body kept on going by instinct. Like a zombie or some other brain-dead monster.  
Perhaps from sleep-deprivation– Chloe didn’t seem to be affected to such a drastic extent, so probably not though- or perhaps from some mental breakdown that was finally catching up to her.

Whatever the cause, Max began crawling forward, her knees scraping against the pavement underneath her, a small stone sticking to the palm of her hand. She constantly had to shake her head a little to keep from seeing visions in the dark and only focusing on the car in front of her.

_Is it locked?_

“Is what locked?”

“Your phone, I’m trying to crack it open”

“Max, you know how I love it when you play around, but right now is not a good time”

“You’re still nervous about not passing?”

“Well, it’s not exactly like I’m a great driver. I’m like a fucking GTA driver”  
  
“Come on, you’re good. Besides killing hookers and stealing their money, you’re nothing like a GTA character thing”

“I literally drove into five McDonald’s on my first drive with the driving instructor”

“Maybe take a route with less fast-food restaurants this time then?”

“I would, but I don’t get to choose the route. Can you just please… tell me I’m going to fail?”

“You want me to tell you that you’re going to fail your driving test? Isn’t that like… counter-intuitive, or something?”

“If I expect to fail, then it’ll take the pressure off. It’s like throwing a half-eaten carrot at a trashcan thirty feet away. I know I’m not going to hit it so I’m not anxious, but I might as well try, because, well… I don’t want to eat the carrot and if I by some miracle make it, then I’d be the cool kid at school”

“You can’t just act is there’s no chance of success every time you’re being challenged, Chloe. I know it’s scary, but like… either the fear stops you from trying or forces you to do more than you’d expect you were capable of. Besides, being nervous means that you’re doing something that means a lot to you, so you know it’s worth a shot”

“…Cool. Just tell me I’m going to fail”

“Sorry, can’t do it. I know you’re going to do great and pass the shit out of your driving test”

“Aurgh, why did you have to say that? Now I am just scared of disappointing you”

“That should be the least of you worries, ‘cause that will never happen”

_It’s not locked._

Her heart nearly punched through her chest when she awoke. She felt the cold leather seat on her face with half of her body inside of the car. She knew she passed out, she knew she dreamt about Chloe, but she didn’t want to collect herself. She didn’t want to think about it.  
Without a single nerve in her body reacting to touch, she pushed herself to crawl inside of the car, barely able to see anything in the dark and blindly reached out for the glove compartment. Her fingers went under a handle, and she pulled up just as something clicked. She opened it.  
Lying down on the seats, she moved her hand around in the compartment until cold steel touched her fingers and she grabbed it. She had the gun.  
Now she just had to get back inside and into Chloe’s room.  
However, a thought suddenly hit her.

 _I could… drive away_.

She thought about for what felt like a minute, or just three seconds that each felt like twenty. She could drive home and stay there. Live a few hours in ignorant bliss if she chose to, getting love from her parents, getting peace from the expectations.  
Then, another way out made its way into her damaged mind.   

_I could… cut off my hand, so Ethan wouldn’t be able to use me._

She lifted her right hand with the gun, stared at it in silence while imagining something sharp, a blade of some sort, cutting clean through her wrist.

 _I could… just break it!_  
  
A chill rushed from the bottom of her spine to the top, making her drop the gun just before she hurled her loose hand against the seat, hitting an angle that bent it. It barely did any damage. So she did it again.  
No pain. She lifted her hand a little higher, aiming for the metal rods under the headrest and smashed her wrist against it, hitting the pisiform bone, finally making a sharp pain rush to her brain and back to her hand.  
She slowly retracted it up to her face and tried to twist it as much as she could, but it wouldn’t break.

_Okay. I’m crazy._

It hurt her chest when she rejected her body’s desire to take a breath, picked up the gun again and crawled out of the car, having given up the attempts to hurt herself. Her mind wandered around on its own while her body simply moved. A dot became a blur, green becoming black, and it was only the thuds of her footsteps that told her she was moving. The pavement leading to the door scratched her feet but they were already cold enough to be numb. She blinked once, then twice. She wanted to blink again, but she was already inside the house. So close. She just had to make it through the living room, up the stairs, and she would be safe.  
While trying to only focus on that thought, she kept moving forward until she saw Alfred sitting on the couch, bent forward and now only mildly coughing so he didn’t notice her.  
Yet, someone else did.  
Ethan rushed in from the side, a bottle of pills in his hand and a frantic look in his eyes. He nearly jumped back when he saw Max on all fours on the floor.

“What the fuck?!” He yelled, his voice echoing in her ears, his left hand reaching for the gun in his back pocket, while he lifted his right with an open palm.  
And it was as this moment Alfred noticed her too. He jumped up from the couch, almost fell forward as he rushed to tackle Ethan before he could grab his gun.

And then everything slowed down.

Max lifted her right hand, instinctively trying to reverse time while looking at Ethan’s open palm while watching an old man trying to tackle him. She noticed the hesitation in Ethan’s eyes and his right hand only shaking, his left resting on the grip of the gun.  
  
That was all before time began reversing. That was all before a pounding heartache swept her brain. And then, just as she stopped… she ran. Having reversed time only seconds before Ethan would see her, she had to be quick. She stumbled forward but attempted to not make any noise. Ran through the living room on her cold feet, grabbed the railing on the stairs and swung around it to then rush up the stairs, but failing to feel the adrenaline.

_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve._

She counted every step before she fell down in the anticipation of the next, landed on her chest and stayed there. Trying to silence her breath while clutching the gun against her stomach. She heard Ethan entering the living room downstairs, but he hadn’t seen her.

She made it.

…

“Get him to sit straight up and give him two!” Chloe demanded over the phone, having to get back in the act as soon as Ethan returned, hoping Max was alright, unaware that she had reversed time and was just outside the door.  
  
While Chloe walked around the room in an attempt to not fall down from mental exhaustion, Ted had moved over to the table leaning against it with a nervous look in his eyes and a few irregular twitches, sometimes reaching out his hand as if he wanted to interrupt.  
Before it came to that, however, the door to her room clicked as the handle went down, instantly catching Chloe’s attention, seeing her friend on the floor, literally crawling inside the room slowly, no one saying a word before she fell to the floor.

“Shit, you okay, Max?” Ted heedlessly questioned, and even though Chloe wanted to ask the same, she quickly hushed him but unfortunately, Ethan had heard the question over the phone.

“Max? Is she awake? Is she going to go through with her own damn plan or what?!” Ethan grunted while moving Alfred around to get him to sit up straight.

 _Oh, crap. Okay, here’s comes the improvising shit._  
  
“Eh, yes. She’s up, but-“ Chloe had to think quick as she rushed over to Max, hoping she hadn’t actually passed out this time.  
Taking a breath to gain a pause, she fell on her knees before Max and took a hand under her arm to help her up as they had to act quickly.  
“Her eyes are wide open, like unusually open. I think she’s really freaked, Ethan” She let out before dropping the phone on the floor to use both her arms to help.  
“Max, are you- why are you getting up? Why are going through my nightstand?” Her heart was pumping, her very toes trembling in her shoes. She continued to speak loud enough for Ethan to hear, knowing that this was the crucial moment.

“Chloe, I can’t… I can’t do it” Max let out with a hoarse voice, hopefully still in line with the plan as she demandingly tried to push herself up from the floor.

“What? You mean traveling back to shoot me? There’s no other choice, Max” She had to commit, no matter how much in doubt she was. And given that Ted only knew part of the plan, they were probably scaring the shit out of him.

“There’s always a second choice” Finally getting to her feet, her legs began to tremble, further worrying Chloe. Her voice was luckily quiet to give off the idea to Ethan that she was a distance from the phone.  
“One I always thought about but never had the guts to choose” She slowly lifted her right hand with the gun, showing it to Chloe to confirm that it was loaded and ready.  
And she nodded.

“Second- wh- why are you grabbing the gun?! Ted, tackle her or something!” She yelled towards Ted but held up her hand to gesture for him to stay put.

“I- eh-“ He responded confused, and as soon as the girls noticed that he wasn’t great at improvising, Max cut him off.

“My life is an abyss of fear, and I feel like I am soaked in blood” Taking a shrill breath, she began walking past Chloe, her feet dragging along the dark carpet until she stood in the middle of the room.  
“I’ve killed so many” She looked genuinely sad.  
“They need justice…” Horrible terrified.

“Chloe, I need you to calm Max down. Right now” Ethan suddenly spoke up from the phone on the floor, apparently being able to tell the signs and wanting to avoid the very thing that was just mere seconds from happening.

“Max- please, we- we can work this out” Just after saying this, she silently mouthed a few words to Max and held up both her hands, wanting to make absolutely sure that everything she was saying was still a part of the plan.  
“Think about your family. Your parents, they’ll-“ But she didn’t respond to it. She simply moved the gun up to her head, the barrel aiming at her temple, shaking, with her finger on the trigger, trembling.

She only opened her mouth to say:  
“I’m so sorry”

“DON’T DO IT!” Ethan shouted over the phone.

In a swift move, Max flung her head back and pulled the trigger, the sound of the gun going off almost loud enough to blow everybody’s eardrums.

Chloe had blinked, her heart had stopped because every millisecond her eyes were closed, she couldn’t know for sure what had happened. Holding her hands to her head, she forced her vision to become clear so she could see her friend. But even though it was only a blur, she saw bright and clear that Max had fallen down on the floor on her back, the gun having fallen only inches next to her still body. No visible blood.

The entire room felt as if it was on fire, a heavy smoke dimming every sensation.

“FUCK!!!” Chloe screamed almost as loud as the sound of the gun being her fired, her throat instantly hurting.  
“MAX!? MAX!!!” She continued, every inch of her skin trembling as her face got red, her pupils disappearing in blue.

The shot kept ringing violently, her yells got mixed in with the others, passing the dismay along. Her feet begged her to run towards her, but with the last shred of reason she had left she fell down on her knees and slid her hands around until they bumped against the phone that she quickly picked up.

“ETHAN!” Her scream disappeared into a yell of attention, and only when she pressed the phone up against her ear could she hear the rapid breathing of Ethan on the other line, evidently in shock.  
And she hadn’t even taken a glance at Ted yet.  
“SHE SHOT HERSELF! SHE FUCKING SHOT HERSELF!” Every word and every syllable felt like pins in her throat as she bashed her fist onto the floor.  
“YOU HAVE TO REVERSE TIME RIGHT NOW! JUST- REVERSE TIME!” Everything she looked at moved from side to side, the whole foundation under her being unstable.

“I- I can’t!” Ethan nearly choked on his unprepared words, and just then, Ted suddenly let out a loud cough as he held a hand to his chest.

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE ETHAN! DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT SHE’S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SAVE YOUR DAUGHTER?! BECAUSE YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT BY NOW, SO DO IT!” Even her eyes began hurting as blood began circulating her face, every nerve and every muscle tensing in her body, pushing up against her skin.  

“Chloe, I- I-“ He nearly yelped like a frightened dog so he held his breath as if he was quickly considering what he was about to say.  
“I can’t reverse time” Every sound faded.  
“I lied about having powers” He was on the verge of breaking.  
“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do!” He yelled despairingly, the guilt on his back finally washing over him.

And all Chloe could do in this moment of realization… was to appreciate it in absolute silence.

“You were right” She finally said as if she didn’t believe it herself, her voice hoarse but calm. The muscles in her body began relaxing, but her heart kept pounding as she looked at her friend on the floor. 

“He admitted it?” Max turned her head and spoke carefully before lifting her upper body, her hair all messy but a glimpse of hope in her tired eyes. She held a hand to her right ear, the ringing of the shoot still bouncing around in her head, hurting immensely.

When their gaze met, Chloe nodded in response, a chuckle came without a smile before she walked closer to Max, giving Ted a small glance just to amuse herself from his reaction.  
As she took a particularly heavy and proud step, she pulled the phone in front of her mouth.  
“Ethan, you’re done” Her teeth were glued together from the satisfying feeling of finally being the victor.  
“You’ve lost” Yet, the anger had still to dissipate. She wanted him to respond, to beg, to cry, to scream, and to fall on his knees, collect his hands, and pray for mercy.  
  
“Wha- you… You convinced me that Max had shot herself to make me admit that… I fucking trusted you!” Ethan let out a confused and strident yell, a voice to share the wounds.  
“I- I-… I’ll shoot Alfred if you come downstairs!” He faltered in desperation.

“Fuck off. You know you have nothing to protect you anymore” Chloe kept rising, lifted by the pedestal of anger that she could finally direct.  
“Max has the power to rewind time- unlike you, and we can test every scenario until you’re either knocked to the floor by my bloody fist, or you’re dead in the ground” She could finally release the emotions that directed her mind.  
“And you… you’ve got nothing. Fucking nothing!” She wanted to belittle him until he was nothing but filth.  
“Ethan, you soulless piece of shit…” Wanted to make him feel like a failure.  
“We’ve won” And now she finally could.

A breath was held back, but a curled fist insinuated his defeat. “Goddammit!” Spoken through teeth, the phone could be heard dropping on the ground, followed by fast moving footsteps as Ethan was running away, a coward’s ticket. 

“Yeah, fucking run” Chloe whispered before hanging up the phone and placing it in her pocket to then turn to Max who was now sitting up, having watched her friend’s berating with great focus.  
“Max, are you able to walk?” She asked with a loud voice as she noticed that she was still holding a hand to her ear. She took a step closer and stretched her arm a few inches to offer a helping hand.

“Y- yeah” Still out of it, Max had to keep her eyes closed for the seconds it took her to get up or she might have gotten vertigo and tipped over. The pounding in her head from the loud sound of the bang hadn’t disappeared either.

“Then let’s go!” Chloe demanded, not wanting Ethan to get away this time.

However, there was still one person in the room that needed some sort of clarification to what was happening. “What are we doing?! Didn’t you just say we won?!” Ted spoke, his shoulders having only been allowed to fall down for a second before they were right back up against the sides of his jaw.

“I did. And we have” Chloe was quick to respond, walking past Max when she didn’t take the offer to be helped and bend down to grab the gun that had been tossed.  
“But it will be a personal loss if I let him get away without revenge” As she held the warm gun in her hands, a fervency passed through the veins in her body, an angelic feeling of energy and aspiration.  
As if God was giving her the final dose of life.  
“And there’s nothing to stop me now”  
Because, with everything that she had been through, watched and felt, she had been given a task. A task that would be complete before the day would end.  
Before midnight.  
It was her task to kill the man who had caused her so much pain.  
She could already see it in her head. Ethan… dead on the ground.  
It would become a reality.  
No matter what.


	47. Half-baked Smiles

She didn’t look back to make sure Ted was following. Not even if Max was following.  
Having just opened the door to finally get out of her room that had been filled with a clammy stirring of fear, and a sickness that would never be washed away, she felt the urgency clashing with her anger, creating a long lost energy inside of her beating heart. She clutched the warm gun and felt a cold sweat on her arms when she ran down the stairs.

“Chloe, wait!” She heard a weak voice from behind her but chose to ignore it. Waiting was not an option and she was ready to forget about solicitude and love, to push away anything that may hinder or quash her anger.  
At the bottom of the stairs, she caught a glimpse of her grandfather, but the sight of his worried and confused expression was not enough for her to even slow down.

“Chloe, what- who was that man?” Alfred muttered, taking a step forward.

“Stay here. Don’t call the cops” She refrained from yelling, but it was still a demand that was put forward without as much as a look as she continued taking quick and livid steps towards the open front door Ethan had run out of.

“I’m not letting you go before I know what’s going on!” Alfred tried to negate the authority, but it reflected right of his granddaughter and his weak legs would have no chance of stopping her in her tracks.

“Like I need your permission” She glared in response before walking out of the ill-lit living room, her whole upper body shaking, and when she went out the door, to the cold outside, it only became darker. Gray clouds covering the sky, blocking the sun and silencing nature.  
The car Ethan had arrived in was gone, but that was to be expected.  
Just as she walked past the green bushes to get into her own car to chase him down, a yell was heard from behind.

“Stop!” It was a grating yell that boiled her blood because it was a hindrance. And so she didn’t stop.  
Steps came closer to her as she stood in front of her car, quickly unlocking it with the rigid key in her pocket but she didn’t get to open the car door she reached for; the hand that importunately grabbed her arm didn’t allow it.  
“What… are you…” Max spoke, the firm grip being no indication of her courage as her voice became weak and powerless, as it had been for so long.

“Max, listen. I’ll say this once, and don’t question it” She didn’t turn to face the girl, only watched her own reflection in the car window.  
“You and I will never fully recover. We will see fear in everything we do, and even our safest times will be tarnished with pain. Never will I be able to walk into my room without my heart reminding me what had happened within those enveloping walls, and never will I be able to look at you, without my memories jabbing at the wound to stop it from becoming a scar” Max’s other hand reached out to her, but it was more uncertain and more sensitive to the touch, and there was something in that feeble hand.  
“But the only thing worse than all that… worse than knowing that you and I will never be able to be together to dissipate all those tragedies…” And what that hand held onto was a single black scarf.  
“Would be letting the man responsible walk away”  
Chloe saw it, felt the fabric of the scarf that she thought would be a symbol of their attraction, but knew that it had no meaning. It was just a piece of old fabric.

Without using force but with enough assertion to make herself clear, Chloe ripped her arm away from Max’s hold and opened the door to the driver’s seat. “I want you to come with me, but I will go regardless”  
She quickly let out before entering the car and already trying with her shaky hands to put the key in the ignition.  
  
If there was a moment in which Max could hesitate, she would, but she felt she had no choice other than quickly scurrying to the other side of the car to enter the passenger seat.  
“How will you even find him?” She asked with a despondent tone while lowering her head and placed herself uncertainly on the seat.

“We can find his address. Hopefully, he fled home” The response was cold, but the slow fall of her eyes revealed that she was grateful that Max had decided to join her.  
“Ted already knows the address, though” She stated, looking up through the windshield to see Ted standing in the door entrance with a phone to his ear and a hand to his chest, apparently having followed Max, but decided to take the time for a phone call.  

“For fuck’s-“ Chloe swallowed her words, wanting to save the rage.  
While pulling her head partially out the window, she turned the ignition and started the car to accentuate her forthcoming question. “Ted! We’re going now! In or out?” Her foot was already on the accelerator, ready to back out if he declined or took too long to answer.

“Coming, coming!” Ted yelled back, slightly unnerved while lifting his hand.  
Whoever he was talking to, it must have been somebody important as he was pressing the phone uncomfortably tight against the side of his face, and every breath he took shook his body.  
“Yeah, I- eh, I love you” He ended with a clear yet hesitant voice before quickly hanging up, using an unpleasant second to gather himself before he swiftly walked over to the car, his long red hair curling even more than usual from the dry sweat. He was wearing several layers; a long gray jacket over a long-sleeved blue checkered shirt, with a black t-shirt underneath, and the always popular choice of dark-blue jeans.  
He just managed to open the door and get inside before Chloe pressed her foot down on the accelerator and heedlessly backed out of the driveway, making both Chloe and Ted jerk their upper-body forward without being able to brace themselves.

Chloe made rapid movements with her head to check the road, fast enough that even a driving instructor wouldn’t catch it. Her black shirt clung to her skin, her eyes wanted to focus but there was too much going on in her head. Almost immediately, the air in the car was filled with a fury that rose every time Chloe exhaled. There was not much time to think about it though, as with the next exhale came a question.  
“Who the hell were you talking to?” Chloe asked almost as if she needed to, not because she cared. She had gotten out on the road and was now driving forward, the speed never settling.

Ted fidgeted a little in his seat while looking down, trying to find the simple words.  
“My mom” He answered it as a single syllable, sounding almost as if he was using the words as a shield.

“Right. Address?” Max watched every inch of Chloe’s trembling skin as she spoke, wanting to find it in herself to be worried, or even intimidated as Ted seemed to be, but she was still too tired, too broken to figure out which tossed emotion she should pick up.

“Wh- she, eh, I live with her on 991 Daphne Street” A stridence of uncertainty slid across Ted’s tongue for good reason as Chloe bit down and rolled her eyes halfway with an annoyed look in her glaring eyes. 

“That’s nice, now, what is Ethan’s address?” Just when it seemed that Chloe had decided on a speed- which was over the speed limit regardless- Ted’s misunderstanding made the car go faster.  
  
“Oh… It’s, uhm… don’t you have it on your phone?” He spoke simply because he felt forced to, and he was, but while intertwining his fingers and rubbing the heel of his dark-brown shoes together, he forgot to consider his words.  
However, just as Chloe heaved an annoyed sigh and let one hand slide from the steering wheel down to the pocket in her jeans to get her phone, Ted looked to the right and locked his fingers together in an awkward position.  
“No, wait, it’s… I think I remember…” His voice got lower as he partly disappeared into his brain, his eyes now looking off to the left.

“Quicker, Ted” Chloe urged while looking far ahead to the turn that was coming up.  
While she did raise her foot from the gas, the car was still going well over 55 mph, and it made Max’s stomach shoot up in her chest. Ted didn’t utter a response but he too had seen the turn coming up, and was frantically trying to recall the address. Both the girls stayed quiet as to not stress him too much, despite the fact he had to answer immediately.  

“44 East Amity Avenue” He finally let out with a frenetic voice that could be mistaken for confidence, but the car had already gone too far to make the turn they were supposed to take.  
  
Or so Max thought.  
Ted had not even exhaled the air he used to state the address before Chloe tightly clutched the steering wheel, gave no warning, and then turned it while quickly changing position with her hands. Max was flung to the side, hitting Chloe’s torso with no seatbelt to hold in her place, while Ted had just enough room alone on the backseat to support his body with his arm on the seat and the other on the window. Someone uttered some profanity amidst the sharp turn before Chloe quickly and adeptly stabilized the car.  
Max pushed herself back to her seat, looked at Chloe, giving her a chance to apologize or just acknowledge the reckless action she just took, but her eyes were two blazing glass marbles in a face of ice.  
But even though she still felt shocked, Max didn’t really care that Chloe chose to stay quiet. It didn’t really matter to her if the car crashed, or if Ethan would get away.  
It wasn’t because she wasn’t mad or wanted revenge, but she knew that an early grave wouldn’t even drip into her soul and replenish anything that had been lost. She was nearly empty and had sewn together the fissure to keep from losing herself entirely; so nothing could fade, nothing could enter. Revenge wouldn’t change anything.  
But for Chloe… it made all the difference. Max just wished she had thought about how messed up taking a life really is. Regardless of the damages and sins that very life have committed. It was still a stain of blood on her hands that would never go away, and she was unsure if Chloe could handle it.

“We should go back; he’s probably not even home. He knows we’re coming for him, he’ll go underground and hide until we give up” Max stared dead ahead as she spoke, noticing but not paying attention to the lit up street lights they were passing at a fast pace. She closed her eyes in the absence of a response, tried to clear her mind to see if she would finally fall asleep. However, having nothing to look at sparked the wires in her brain that told her heart to keep alert. And so she wondered if she was actually capable of falling asleep, or if she had to substitute sleep for passing out for extended periods.

“If he isn’t there…” The girl next to her suddenly started speaking.  
“Then we search his house for any clues where he might have gone, then burn the whole fucking place, and hunt him down” With every word, light seemed to fade outside by negligible amounts, darkening the houses around them; all the suburban hedges and pristine white mailboxes with comically standard names on them, most followed by the name of their probably small, barking dog.  
This was what Max decided to keep occupied on because if she listened to Chloe, considered her words as an actual plan, then she would have to show empathy. And she felt fine being quiet for now. Not much that would matter to say anyway.  
Chloe however, had one thing she wanted to clear up when she misread the reason for the silence.  
“I know you would prefer if we called the police or something, but we both know they’ll disregard everything we say– because it’s fucking insane- and perhaps even lock us up, because- let’s face it, we’re not innocent in the eyes of the fucking law”  
The speed of the car had gradually slowed down after she begun to speak, but her words failed to release themselves of the sting and conviction and she was in a state of no return. But Max didn’t feel intimidated, far from it.

“Okay,” The leering girl responded, using her last shred of sensibility to not respond in any opinioned way as she knew it would start a discussion; give Chloe a reason to support her flawed case. Instead, she began gently pulling on the black scarf she had in her right hand, occupying herself.

“You understand why I feel this way, right?” But Chloe had to take one more step, and even though she might just have been searching for understanding and not an excuse to defend herself, Max felt the tip of a needle poking her insides and she decided to let it out.

“No,” She said without hesitation.  
“No, I don’t understand. Today I’ve been the most emotionless I’ve ever been, but even I can’t just pretend that killing someone- actually killing a person, ending a life- is something that just ‘needs to be done’”  
Even though Max’s attention still belonged to the world outside of the car, she felt Chloe’s flaming eyes burning a mark on her neck, just waiting for a moment to reproach.  
“It leaves a stain. There will be a layer of remorse covering your skin, covering your eyes, making everything seem dark. Reminding you that you decided from your own ethics and morals that you had the right to take a life. That it was somehow right, just because your anger was big enough and loud enough for you to see justice where there was nothing but revenge” As she spoke, she felt a creeping sense of something she thought she wanted to forget, a substitute for emotion, and her guard fell.

“Yeah, that’s a hypocritical thing to say” Chloe responded callously after a few seconds, now only focusing on the road ahead of her. 

Although prepared for a condemnation, Max felt mildly staggered by her choice of words. “What?” She asked with a tone that felt oddly plain while closing one eye.

“I know you want- or at least wanted- him death. You tried to shoot him, and for good reason. He threatened to put your family in danger, he put your life in risk when he forced you to travel back in time, and he actually fucking shot me. You can’t deny that he ruined your life without even blinking” Every sentence was a development to the next, her head stood crooked on her neck and she shut out everything to feel what she needed to feel.  
“It’s not an “eye for an eye” situation I am looking for here. It’s about rebuilding. Starting with erasing the root” Her eyes were always in the future, her body trying to follow along, wanting to so badly that her hands began sliding across the steering wheel.

“What good will come from-“ However much Max tried to get Chloe to reflect on the situation she was bringing herself into, she knew she had opened up something inside of Chloe when she interrupted with a lour.

“This is not some fucking movie, Max, where we’ll magically get a happy ending for doing ‘the right thing’” Her voice arose in the certainty, the heat dispersing in the breath that found no room.  
“There is no goal for us to achieve and eventually look back at with a half-baked smile on our lips. It’s not an adventure, it’s about not being ripped apart by fear!” A vocal broke in a word, her emotions having reached their low limit and Max could tell all too well that if she could, if her body was able to, Chloe would cry amidst her angry and last-gasp words.  
“I will never, NEVER, be able to close my eyes knowing that Ethan is still capable of harming you and me. The door to my fear has been flung right open, and so everything I think about is always tarnished with a ‘what if…’ as in, what if I won’t be able to leave my bed without having a panic attack? What if I will never be happy again? What if seeing fear in everything will eventually drive me so goddamned mad that I would want to end the fucking misery by my own trembling hands?!”  
Her eyes were dead-centered, finding no comfort in the whorish episodes that had tarnished every memory and hope for a better tomorrow and so she yelled, pleaded to be heard and understood.  
“You feel the same way, I know it, and I also know that the only chance we have of closing that door, at least beginning to push it, is to remove the fucking boulder in the way”  
So tired of fright she must have been to let her inference recede.  
“If there ever were to be devils on this earth, Ethan would be one of them…”  
Max could find no desire in her body to do anything else but to keep looking out the window, but forget about what she could see and focus on what she could grasp.  
“And I don’t care what you believe… I know God has made it my task to send him back to hell so we can start to rebuild our lives, here on earth”  
And for the first time, there was no hesitation in the mention of divinity because that is what she felt. What she dared herself to believe.

Max had no objection. She still didn’t agree, but something else than carelessness made her stay silent. It was the empathy that had finally reached her. She had to take a step back to remember all the tragedies that occurred to this vulnerable, young girl. Loss. Confusion. Anxiety. Heartbreak. There were so many that Max had to stop herself in fear of losing herself in shame. There was a reason for her anger, and it was not just Ethan. He was simply the symbol of her calamities and the only one that could be done something about. The only outlet she ever had.  
Max took a breath through her nose, pulled a little on the black scarf yet again before, in a second of chagrin, threw it over her shoulder but didn’t bother to wrap it around her neck. Although Chloe noticed this, saw Max lazily putting on the black scarf; she didn’t want to say anything. Neither did Max. Neither did Ted.

And so everybody stayed quiet.

…

Every time Max decided to look away from the altering streets they were driving on, she gave special attention to Ted sitting in the back, seeing how uncomfortable and nervous he was. He looked as if he was anticipating something, perhaps waiting for someone to say a single syllable.  
They had been driving for around ten minutes now, and while Chloe was most likely too out of it to have thought about it, they were getting close to Ethan’s place. So close that Max even got a little nervous about not having prepared herself for what could happen when they got there, but the moment she tried, a voice that surprised her suddenly spoke up.

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you” It seemed like a struggle for Chloe to let out these apologetic words as if she had tried to convince herself for a while to say it.  
“Or you Ted, for that matter” She nudged her head backward, partially drawing Ted into the party for once and he looked up quite briskly with a scrunched pair of lips.  
Chloe looked ahead on the empty roads they were now driving on, mostly surrounded by empty grass fields and the occasional small house or drugstore. “I just want this to end” She sighed but put enough pressure in her throat to mean it.  
  
It was clear that she expected something of Max in return; an apology as well or just an acknowledgment of hers, but she was far beyond the point of catering to some social rules and decided to wallow in her own misery a little longer, detached from what was going on around her.  
The actual mental choice she made to do so was visible to Chloe and it made her bite the inside of her lip. It apparently wasn’t the right time to mend wounds; she just hoped that when all of this was over, there would be something to restore.

“Yo, it’s fine” Instead, Ted was the one to suddenly accept the apology and continued in some attempt to lighten the mood.  
“I mean, if I had a stick I wouldn’t poke you with it, but I- I didn’t think you were mad at me” He held his hand in front of his face, scratching his upper lip with his thumb, carefully testing the atmosphere.

Although still a little weary, Max closed her eyes and moved her head away from the window. “You totally shit your pants” Her voice was low and impassive, but whether her intention or not, it did make Chloe snicker while taking a slow turn to the right with the car.

However, Ted immediately got on the defensive as he raised his eyebrows and pulled himself up from the sloth position he had on the seat.  
“Wha- no! I was just- I was playing this finger game, and got… upset because I lost” But in the desperate attempt to respond, the excuse made Chloe tilt her head in stupefaction while Max furrowed her brows, Ted already sensing he now had one more thing to defend.

“Ehh… finger game? You’re gonna have to explain that one, Ted” And sure enough, with partly closed eyes and a high-pitched voice, Chloe was the first to place a question mark at the end of Ted’s excuse.

Ted almost sighed in reverse, now having to explain himself and knowing it would be met with further confused expressions.  
“It’s not- for- it’s not really a game, but… you press both of your thumbs against each other, the left one facing up, the right one facing down. Then you spin your hands while keeping the connection until your two index fingers meet. You press those together and release the thumbs. Then you repeat until you release your two pinky fingers. Or start over with your thumbs” While explaining the rules, Ted seemingly began indulging in the activity with his fingers, showing what it was all about; but neither Chloe nor Max seemed to fully grasp the concept.

“Scratching the back of my head sounds more interesting than that” Chloe stated, with Max watchfully nodding along. 

“Bro, it gets difficult after the index fingers, since your fingers can’t overlap. So you have to spin your hands the right direction, or else the whole thing messes up. Like, if you spin the wrong- no, never mind. It’s just a thing I do from time to time, and I have to finish it or else my fingertips feels weird” Ted began gesturing wildly, this clearly being a subject of great sentiment and it brought a few moments of silence into the car with Chloe curling her lips and looking pensively around before turning her head and taking a breath while she placed her face into a serious expression.

“...Did your dad ever hug you, Ted?” And she perfectly held her serious expression and the solemn voice that came with it, making Max feel an odd sensation when her lips were pulled into a shy smile.

Ted was less than pleased however and rolled his eyes that still managed to have a glimpse of amusement in them.  
“I do weird things, I know, but you can’t seriously tell me that neither of you has some weird quirk you just have to do, or else you’ll think about it constantly. Like having the volume on an even number, or flip a switch a select number of times” While Ted continued with his quest of pretending he wasn’t a weirdo, the white noise of the running car had changed from a mild nuisance to an actual pleasing sound in-between affable words.

“Like some OCD shit?” Taking a hand up to her face to remove a piece of hair that had snuck in from behind her ears, Chloe sent a quick glance towards Max who was sitting still in her seat, looking out the window with a finally present expression on her careworn face, and she decided to pay special attention to the scarf that had at some point been wrapped around her neck.  

“God, people rape that acronym. I don’t mean like a disorder, but just some weird thing you have to do” It seemed like the subject continued on, so with Ted’s pursue for confirmation, Chloe decided to play along. 

“Well, I have- or had this… I mean, I don’t think it was a big deal, but I…” She responded a little nervously, which made both Ted and Max pay attention to her.  
“When I was like, young- ten-eleven years old, my mom had this hair straightener and from time to time, she would forget to turn it off before leaving the house for work. It would leave a mark next to the sink where she placed it, so every morning I had to go into my parents bathroom- we had two bathrooms, I’m privileged, I know- and not only did I have to check if it was turned on; if it was turned off- as it was in most cases- I actually had to turn it on, even if it was unplugged, wait more than five seconds, but less than twenty since it would become hot after that, then turn it off again and unplug it”  
Chloe stopped only to take a breath while Ted was on the edge of his seat waiting for the thrilling continuation, as Max stayed quiet- not by choice, but from sheer incredulity.  
“As my dad was the one who drove me to school, he was sometimes in the bathroom in the morning and I was too embarrassed to go in there and check on the hair straightener so I would just leave it… but I would spend the entire time at school, thinking about the damn hair straightener with a beating heart…” While there was no attempt to spice up the story with ornate tricks, it didn’t fail to make the two-man audience hold their breaths in anticipation for the exhilarating conclusion.  
“That was until my mom found out, laughed at the weirdness, and promised to always double check if it was off before she left for work. Then I stopped”  
And at the end, Chloe turned her head discreetly, trying to get a feel of the reactions, and not because she was expecting a standing applause in a moving car, she eventually got suspicious of the dead silence and blank stares.

“Yeeeah, I don’t think we can be friends anymore” Ted finally muttered while shaking his head poignantly to highlight the shame that their friendship had to end this way.  

“Me neither” Max surprisingly followed up, making Chloe want to throw her hands in the air in disbelief if she wasn’t using them to keep three people alive, so she settled with simply gesturing with her right hand.

“Oh, come on! I said I stopped doing it, and you were the one who asked” She put blame in her eyes and looked intensely in the rear-view mirror to strike Ted with her glare as she pulled her hand down next to her thigh.  
“You still do your creepy ‘finger’ thing, so I don’t think you’re in any position-“ She abruptly cut herself short and her eyes fell down into a concerned expression for unknown reasons, making Max’s timid smile quickly disappear.  
“Ehm… to, eh, judge” Chloe finished, a gaze in her eyes looking out the windshield. Her arms tightened up while she began taking deep and rapid breaths through her nose. She was nervous. Almost panic-stricken.

It took a second for Max to figure out as to why– they weren’t at Ethan’s yet. But then she noticed the sound of the water hitting the car. It had begun to rain. It immediately flashed in her mind how Chloe had told her about her fear of rain, how after the tragedy at the lighthouse, she had associated rain with fear and trepidation. And now, watching her friend’s wide pupils, fighting to stay calm, Max remembered what she had responded to Chloe that day as well. She told her she would always be there for her when it would rain.  
And so, she decided to keep her promise, although her body fought it, Max slid her hand across her seat, stopped for a second to take a breath while blinking hard before slowly sliding it across to Chloe’s seat to then gently place her hand on Chloe’s. She didn’t know if she needed the comfort, even if she wanted it, and she certainly was unsure how Chloe would perceive it when she looked down at the hand with still eyes and a slightly open mouth.  
But all of that became unimportant when Max, for the first time in what felt like years, sensed her heart beating in response to an emotion other than fear, as a reaction to Chloe gently turning her hand, making their palms connect. Chloe gave off the smallest smile which still managed to show so much serenity while slowly bending her fingers, making Max instinctively do the same, making them intertwine.  
She didn’t want to classify it as a moment of peace, a moment of redemption, as the issues were still present- still wildly felt all throughout her body, but there was something that dulled her when she looked up- unsure if she was smiling or not- and saw the blue-haired girl look back at her, her eyes telling her a secret, her curved lips offering a private understanding of reciprocated alleviation. The sound of raindrops hitting the hood of the car being drowned out in the monotone breath that led up to an assurance of something brighter to come.  
The only other sound that came, however, was the strident noise of a siren, an exchanging light of red and blue. Ted quickly turned in his seat with a withheld gasp, Max and Chloe’s hands separated, and everything went as quickly as it came when all three of them saw the police car behind them.


	48. If Only Tonight We Could Sleep

The light flashed behind them, exchanging between red and blue, making it difficult to see anything else. The excessive howling noise pierced the eardrums, a sensory overload, making Chloe’s body react before her mind had a chance to access what was going on. Her face went pale, even more than it had already been for so long. Her foot was locked on the gas while the hair on her neck rose.  
Max watched all of these reactions to the police car behind them while trying to combat her own. She only saw two possibilities. Only dared herself to imagine the two outcomes.

 _Stop the car. Don’t… just don’t drive, don’t keep on driving. Don’t try to… outdrive the fucking police. They’ll catch us and we’ll be in a shitload of trouble. Just stop the car. They’re probably just gonna give us a ticket for speeding or some other trivial shit. Just stay calm, Chloe._  
  
A few seconds in her thoughts and she questioned herself why she didn’t say it out loud. Why was she thinking it, when she wanted to say it? And then it occurred to her; she was panicking. Her lips trembled- her heart could be felt beating in her throat, making it impossible to speak. If there ever was a reasonable, yet inconvenient time to panic, this would be it. She just wasn’t prepared for it, because in some ignorant attempt to stay somewhat composed, she had told herself that she was in a state of deep depression; totally emotionless. If you are depressed, you can’t be anxious, she had assured herself.  
She knew she was wrong, she just didn’t want it to be proven. But it had become increasingly difficult to play ignorant.

Ted, on the other hand, was totally frozen. He was looking at his hands and his legs, his eyes forgetting to blink when he was clearly inside his own head, perhaps considering the outcomes as well. Maybe trying to distract his mind to keep from getting to the realization that he was frightened. Nobody really knew what was going through each other’s minds.  

It was all up to Chloe at this point. She was the driver, the decision-maker. For better or for worse, given that she, in some perspective, was the most messed up of all of them. She whispered without showing where to attain her words.  
“They’ve got nothing” And so she slowly lifted her foot from the gas.  
“Nothing” Another reassurance for herself, for her worries.  
The car slowed down, but she didn’t break. Simply letting the wheels go slower, buying herself time to think of future words.

Max looked, but found no comfort in any thought she could manage to connect. She tried looking at Chloe, but her pale face made her even more nervous, so she turned to face the empty field on her left, only inhabited by a small group of trees being lit up by red and blue, the leaves bouncing up and down in the rain.  
Seconds before the car stopped, Chloe pulled over to the side, watching the police car do the same in the rear-view mirror. There was a quiet couple of seconds where nothing happened, a stall, a tactic to let them wonder and panic so they would blurt out excuses they could use against them later.  
Then, someone stepped out of the police car, a male in his thirties, looking both stressed and cautious.  
And only then, did Max realize that she was scared. Not nervous, not apprehensive, but truly scared. Her mind was too free to wander, and so she couldn’t even tell if it was an irrational fear that drove her to take two quick breaths, followed by a gasp.

And even though it had become second-nature to Chloe to notice when her friend was unwell, her actions still surprised Max. Maybe it was her attentive nature, her desire to comfort, or perhaps a chance for her own mind to calm, when Chloe slid her hand under Max’s palm that she thought was nailed to the seat and lifted it up, squeezed it, and leaned closer, prompting Max to turn and face her friend.

“We’ll be fine… everything will be fine” Even in the whisper, her agitation was obvious, her words not believing in themselves. Yet, as much as she was transparent, as much as she was hollow-hearted, something within the touch and the way Chloe leaned her body towards Max as if she was shielding her… felt comforting.  
“No matter what happens, I will make sure you’re safe” She continued, making her voice as quiet as possible.  
Was that a lie as well? Was there any doubt in her words? Max couldn’t tell because when she felt Chloe’s sweaty forehead bump against her own, it kick-started her brain.

 _What if Ethan called them? What if he told them some lie about what we’ve done… or a half-truth. Maybe he could even have been fucking honest and they could still arrest us…_  
_Chloe wouldn’t allow that. I couldn’t stop her… how could a stranger?_  
_Don’t be a hero, Chloe. Please. Not now._  
  
The burning breath she felt just under her nose made her pay attention once more. Chloe’s face was blurred, so close to her own, the string between their lips could be felt when the girl opened her mouth only to pant.  
“I…” Her voice shook.  
“I…” She tried again.  
Max knew what she was trying to say. What few words would follow if she had the courage.  
“Goddammit… I want to say it” She shut her eyes closed, their lips working like magnets and it was too clear to tell that Chloe was fighting to not give in and kiss Max.  
“Even though you probably don’t want to hear it… don’t want to say the same” With the words that made her body tense, Max took a breath, a heat different from the other rushing through her, and she wondered why she was so afraid to say it, even though it had already been said with their actions. Was it Max that had made her so afraid?  
Had she made this self-reliant girl doubt herself?  
It was her fault.    
It had to be.  
“Guess I’ll have to wait a little longer” She sighed softly and loosened the grip on Max’s hand before moving back in her seat, but just as she did, a spark emitted as their lips graced each other, suddenly stopping every motion.  
Max’s mind went blank. She didn’t want to think of what she should do… why she shouldn’t... why it would or wouldn’t be right.  
And Chloe saw that moment in Max. The deliberate choice to forget, to overlook the days of fighting that were behind them. Their yells and their cries. Love, hate, and anything in between was ignored before it would all come crashing down once more.  
“Max…” Chloe moved her lips ever so lightly, her voice curled into a whisper.  
“Can I kiss you?” Still so careful. So attentive.  
So for just a moment, with a sweat skating down between them, Chloe fought harder than she ever had to, and it tore Max apart to see- to feel her struggle so intensely. And so, separated from the future, erased from the past, Max allowed herself to live.   
“Yes,” It surprised her how it came out as a whimper when it felt more confident, more reassured in her head, but it was enough. Enough for Chloe to stop fighting for a second, and move in the final dreaded inch and fully place her lips on Max’s.  
Sounds didn’t dissipate, they only enhanced and time didn’t stand still, it didn’t wait, but it accelerated. She could feel Chloe’s passion in the lips that pressed against her own, and she tried to return to it but the kiss was different. Less innocent than when they had kissed outside of Chloe’s house after their unofficial date. Less passionate than when they had kissed in the shower with Chloe standing so peaceful in the tub with water skating down her naked body. Less cold than when they had kissed after she practically rejected Chloe’s gift she bought to show that she cared.  
It was desperate. It was tense. It wasn’t the same.  
Max did one final attempt to get a feel of what this kiss represented by moving in closer, by pursing her lips slightly and closing her eyes while paying attention to her heartbeat.  
Did it slow down, or speed up? Was she impassive, or was she excited?  
But seconds into the kiss, she had to wonder something else.  
What did it mean that her heartbeat didn’t change at all?  
  
The moment that felt less than a second passed and Chloe was the one who pulled her away, and the moment she did, turned her head as to not allow Max to catch the dejected look in her eyes. She curled her lips and took a breath through her nose before opening the car door with one movement and stepped out into the rain. Just as she did, a low voice was heard, saying “Stay in the car, please”

“Fuck” Max whispered to herself, annoyed that she felt so muddled and a quick glance at Ted on the backseat revealed that she wasn’t the only one. He had clearly tried not to look, attempted to not seem surprised or even flustered, but even though it was written all over his face, the look of distress still surpassed any other. And sadly, it was the same with Max when she too opened the door on her side and stepped out of the car to confront the police officers with Chloe.

The cold air outside immediately hit her when she stepped out onto the pavement and began walking around the car, and the drops of water almost immediately soaked her hoodie. In the darkness, she could just make out the shape of Chloe, tryingly walking across the sidewalk and onto the grassy field.  
The police officer who had already stepped out of the car looked relatively calm, hopefully just thinking he was pulling over some adolescents for reckless driving, and thinking Chloe was walking around because she was drunk. He was walking at a slow pace towards Chloe, his dark-blue uniform already just as wet as Max’s clothes, but protecting his head with a deflated looking hat.

_Why the fuck did we even step out of the car? They probably just want to give us a ticket and be on their way. But what are the chances of getting pulled over by the cops just when we were about to… end this? Shit. I just I hope Chloe is not planning on telling them off or something…_

“I would like to see your driver’s license, ma’am” The officer requested just as Max had scurried onto the wet field next to Chloe.  
“I have to ask you to stop walking around. Come over to the sidewalk so we can talk” Although his voice was gentle, he still made sure it was perceived as a demand. From the sound of his voice and what could be seen of his clean-shaved face, he must have been around thirty years old. Probably not very experienced, but apparently good enough to have some silver star on the left side of his chest.  
“We got a call that you were in possession of an unregistered firearm, so can we check your car?” confirming Max’s fear that it was Ethan who had called the police in an attempt to stall Chloe and Max.

Chloe made some grunting noises of complaint while facing the officer, which surprisingly caused a shocking reaction from him the moment he saw Chloe’s face clearly.  
“Shit!” He said under his breath while immediately bending slightly down in his knees and reaching for his gun.  
“Hands behind your head!” The soft voice suddenly became fierce in the transformation to a yell as he pulled out the gun and aimed it at Chloe, then Max, then back to Chloe.

There were several beats in the time it took for Max to react to the officers’ sudden aggressive approach, but her body instinctively threw her arms up in the air before remembering he asked for them behind her head. She shot Chloe a panicked glance and saw that she mouthed the words “what the fuck?” with a belligerent expression spreading on her face. 

“Henry, get out here! This is the girl who was seen at the bombing on Grand Teton Mall!” The officer yelled without taking his eyes off the two girls, and immediately a second officer, more robust, stepped out of the car, a gun already in his hand.

The aggressive behavior suddenly made sense, given that the story of the explosions at the mall had been covered by the news, but neither of them knew that Chloe had apparently been identified. Perhaps it was only a matching appearance description by some bystanders, though. Otherwise, it would be more likely they would have sought out Chloe, rather than waiting to randomly bump into her.

“Bombing?! It wasn’t a fucking bombing, and it wasn’t us who did that!” Chloe yelled back while throwing her right arm around in an aggressive manner, her voice almost silenced in the thunderous rain.

It was true. The only thing that exploded was a car, set off by Ethan’s brother in some scare-tactic to get Max to do what he wanted.

However, throwing her arms around was an action the officer clearly didn’t respond well to, as he more forcefully began aiming the gun at Chloe.  
“HEY! Hands behind your head, NOW!” He demanded just as the second officer placed himself next to the other, and aimed his gun at Max. He was bigger than his partner, more older-looking, but it was hard to tell them apart in the rain and with the identical uniforms.   
“Are there more people in the car?!” Amidst his yell, an agitation could be sensed in his voice. As if he was dealing with hardcore criminals and didn’t want to take any risks.

_Should I tell him we’re unarmed? Should I stay quiet? Shit. The gun is still in the glove compartment and I don’t think she even got a fucking permit for it! And they even know that because Ethan called them. No. This is fine… we’ll just let them take us to the station or whatever, and we’ll explain to them the situation. Alfred is a witness. Hell, he was basically a hostage. This way we can get Ethan locked up, and even though we might still get in trouble, it’s better than… than keep trying to fix this shit ourselves. Hopefully, Chloe sees it the same way._

“Go take a look, asshole” But it didn’t seem as if Chloe was willing to cooperate; still with the anger and desire for revenge. She saw this as an obstacle, something to be dealt with. Max just silently prayed that she wouldn’t try to run away or do anything that could get her shot.

While the officer didn’t take too kindly to Chloe’s response, he did glance at the car and through the rear window saw a person moving around and immediately reacted.  
“You! In the car! Open the car door slowly, and step out with your hands behind your head!” His lips had retracted, his yellowish teeth clearly showing, while his whole body moved every time he took a breath. As intimidating as he tried to be, it was possible to tell that he wasn’t used to be pointing a gun at someone. All the more reason for both Chloe and Max to stay calm.

And while Max didn’t dare to look any other place than the finger on the trigger of the gun that was pointed at her, she heard a car door open, followed by two light footsteps. 

“Walk next to the car, and get on your knees!” He yelled at Ted, who followed the instructions with wide eyes and a beating heart.  
“You two girls do the same!” He looked back at Chloe, waved the gun once to signal the way as if they didn’t know where their car was.

The humidity of the grass made a wetness soak through Max’s shoes and the feeling shot all the way into the very tip of every limb, creating a painful cold inside of her. She was just about to move her feet when something made her look at Chloe to her right. She wasn’t sure if she had coughed, or perhaps whispered something, but she sensed that Chloe wanted her attention, and in this crucial moment, she decided to give it to her. 

What she saw, was a pair of steady eyes staring at her. Both beseeching and demanding. Her wet hair was hanging limply around her face, her shirt sticking to her skin. There was a touch of panic in her blood that only Max could pick up on, and she knew why. This was exactly what Chloe had feared. Being stopped in her tracks. Falling from the smoldering rope, just when she had found enough bravery to climb; and even though her bravery was misplaced, it hurt Max to see yet another door being closed in Chloe’s face. Nothing had gone her way in the last year, she had been forced to deal with too much, and when she finally could confront- quell one of the fears, she was impeded.  
And this is why Max knew exactly why Chloe was staring at her with those eyes, and why she gave her the slightest nod.  
She wanted her to reverse time.  
Go back, and avoid the police.

And although from whatever angle she looked at it, Max felt it would be safest- smartest to let it play out, to give up and let the police handle it, there was no way she could take this away from Chloe too. Her best friend that had sacrificed so much for her. And if being best friends, meant doing what was asked of her without hesitation, then it sure as hell was Max’s time to prove it. To prove that she was a friend to Chloe.  
And so, she took a breath, not caring about making it silent, while slowly removing her right hand from the back of her head, a subtle action that the police officers immediately noticed.

“Keep your hands behind your head!” The younger officer demanded, but it didn’t matter. With both the girls' eyes connected, Max kept lowering her hand and stretching out her palm.  
  
“FINAL WARNING!” Both the officers were now in a stance, pointing their guns at her with bated breaths, their eyes wild, their fingers steady in this crucial moment. Another cold wind blew by, almost passing through her as her hand was now stretched out in front of her.

“HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD, DAMMIT!” And those were the final words shouted before a loud bang sounded, echoing through the naked landscape. Max’s eyes were still with Chloe’s, her vision so bright, enough to see the expression on Chloe slowly changing into shock. And it stayed there, as in this moment it time, everything stopped. All sounds. All movements. Only the gut wrenching pain in her stomach existed.

And it amplified. It grew. It was so strong, it forced out a scream, loud enough for time to start again with a blow. She stretched her body to the side to try to get away from the pain, breaking her connection with Chloe who yelled out her name in utter anguish before shifting on her feet and running the ten feet that were between them, towards her friend.

It was only then, by seeing the startled face on Chloe, mixed with the sharp pain in her side, that she could truly phantom that she had been shot. And in the realization, her whole body succumbed and her vision impaired, and so she fell on her knees, clutched both her hands on the side of her stomach and tried to scream again, but her throat tightened and she couldn’t even breathe. There was only one thing her rushing mind could focus on… who shot her? The police officers hadn’t fired a single shot, both of them looking extremely shocked and their guns were no longer pointed at Chloe nor Max. They were pointed to someone next to her. They were aiming at Ted.  
In the final moment she could strain herself enough to focus her eyes, she turned her head and saw him. The young man with long red hair, his opened gray jacket over a long-sleeved blue checkered shirt with drops of water in contrast to his dry eyes and with shaking hands holding a gun. Chloe’s gun that was in the glove compartment. And then… all that information, all those descriptions blended and dispersed when she fell to the ground with a sharp gasp, the black scarf around her neck unraveled and fell below her.    
  
Just as Chloe reached her.

And the voices became noises only deafened by her returning breath.

She blinked and time passed. Only seconds.

Everything was dark, besides Chloe’s face hovering above her. And then it all rushed to her.

 

“AAAIIEEEEEE!!!” Max screamed in intense pain, everything from her stomach up to her throat stinging.

The police officers yelled, Ted dropped the gun, Chloe yelled out her name. Then Ted’s name. She yelled with so much anger and distress.  
“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” She clutched Max’s hoodie with both her hands, staring at Ted already with his hands in the air and a coating of unease on his skin.

“I- I’m sorry, I…” His eyes were red, his bottom lip quivering with the cracks on the blue flesh.    
“Chloe, I’m so sorry!” The tears crashed around him, leaving a trail on his pitted cheeks.

Chloe felt unresponsive, as if she forgot how to speak, forgot how to breathe. The rain kept dropping so harshly on her cold body, her knees on the ground, and her heart in her throat that forced out words when it beat. “I DON’T FU- ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?! YOU SHOT HER!” She lifted one arm up to her head, ran it quickly through her tangled blue hair but felt only numbness in her fingers. 

“I didn’t want to! I TRIED, OKAY?! I… I TR…” His words failed him when he sobbed and his head fell down because of it, shielding his face from the light of the streetlight above. 

It came to nothing, however, as one of the officers took action when Ted was unprepared and ran over to him, only a few quick steps before he jumped, opened up his arms, and tackled the crying boy. They both fell to the ground; the solid pavement next to the car. Although Ted didn’t struggle, the officers didn’t waste any time to use force to get him on his stomach, pressing the side of his face down.

“What the fuck?...” Chloe whimpered under her breath, too confused to attempt to process the reason, finding herself only capable of focusing on the girl before her, lying on the ground.  
She was still breathing, using every breath to let out a gurgling scream- her face shifting from pain to shock. Her hand was held over the entrance wound, and she held it tight, so there was barely any blood visible, but it didn’t take the color of red for Chloe to clinch her fist in consternation.   

“I COULDN’T LET MAX REVERSE TIME! NOT AGAIN!” The loud yell of Ted sounded from behind the car followed by several grunts from him and the officer.  
“I HAD TO DO IT BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU ARE A FUCKING PSYCHO, CHLOE!” His voice broke in all kinds of places, and Chloe heard him. Every word. But this was not the time to solve some mystery- to find out as to why this happened. That was not her concern right now.

Chloe lifted her head up quickly, the skin on her face feeling like lead as she glanced at the other officer, still standing in the same spot, holding the gun up but not pointing it at anything. He looked nervous- shocked.  
“Don’t just stand there! CALL AN AMBULANCE!” She shouted at the officer. Demanded it. The first look he gave Chloe was a look of authority as if she couldn’t boss him around, but he immediately knew it was a mistake as he noticed Chloe’s screaming eyes, the veins pressing against the skin on her forehead.  
He nodded once while slightly opening his mouth, lowered the gun and reached for his phone.

Suddenly, Max’s screams disappeared. The rain almost deafened it, almost strangled the wet cough. But she heard it, weak as it was, and her attention immediately shifted, sliding a hand in under her head to lift it, the back of her hand grazing the black scarf while she placed the other on top of Max’s hand that was covering the wound.   
“Max, Max! Keep your eyes open and listen!” She spoke quickly, knowing that she was running out of time.  
“I need you to reverse time, you can do that, right?” She hovered her face above, making sure Max was looking directly at her and listening to her words. She tried to keep her voice calm, but the high pitch and short breaths gave away her panic.  
“Just… lift your arm- here” She quickly but gently grabbed Max’s right wrist, lifted it slightly from the ground and felt her friend’s clammy skin, while her own body was shaking in desperation.   
“And just do that shit you do” She chuckled in a cry as if this was just another misfortune that could be fixed. Another memory to be stored in the past.

“I- I can’t” Her whole body locked up, her muscles tightening with her face rapidly twitching. She was going into shock. 

“But you- just… just relax” Chloe pleaded as she quickly thought back. Thought of any way she could relief Max from the pain, just long enough for her to reverse time. And it had to be quick, as Max began gasping for breath and making unsettling sounds, with rain pouring down on the excruciating expression on her increasingly pale face that forced tears out from behind Chloe’s eyes.   
“Hey, Max, look. Up in the skies,” She let out with a feigned cheery voice while caressing the back of her friend’s head to get her to concentrate.  
“Look at the stars. Just… focus on the stars, Max” Chloe whimpered, every inch of her body and every corner of her mind panicking.  
“I’m not fucking with you. If you really pay attention, the stars, they- they spell out M-A-X”   
And just as with her moribund friend, Chloe’s breath couldn’t be controlled, however much she tried to stay calm. However much she told herself that she had to stay strong, that her friend would be okay.  
Max tried to focus on the stars. She really did. But the pain was so immense, feeling as if her organs were on fire and some ruptured. Only wanting to use every breath she could catch to scream out, but she couldn’t. Neither could she see the stars- it was just a blur of light.  
“Like- like they did when we were out walking all those days ago, yeah?”  
Chloe turned to look directly at Max. A solemn smile forced on her lips.   
“When we were just having fun, and you- you looked so beautiful”  
Tears had begun streaming down her face, and her crying almost sounded like laughing.  
“Remember? I took your picture…”  
She heard Chloe’s words and she did try to remember, tried to think back to that calm memory, but she wasn’t allowed a single second of peace. Every drop of rain felt like a thin needle on her bare skin, every wave of unrelenting pain felt like an unendurable chill. As her body tensed up, twitching rapidly, she could not take her mind off whether or not this was fair. Because what she thought when she stared at her friend with empty eyes, was the question of justice. “Do I deserve this?”  
But slowly, her vision faded and her body became unresponsive. It was like a swarm of darkness creeping in from the corners, rapidly enveloping everything before her. Only a faint color of blue in the center remained for just a few seconds longer. Then, eventually, that too, disappeared.  
“Max? Max?!” How deep Chloe’s heart sunk for a second when she shook her unresponsive friend.  
“God, ple… please…” She felt her whole world collapse, she felt her future becoming nothing but desolation. All her prayers, silent or vocal had been ignored. For this was the one thing she hoped would never happen.  
She had climbed the rope, up from the pit that was her existence, and now it smoldered just on the edge. And she could feel herself falling, hitting the ground, never to recover. She didn’t know what to do; only found herself slowly moving her hands away. She briefly looked at the black scarf next to Max. But she didn’t take it. Instead, with shaking hands, she placed it back where it belonged. Gave it back to her friend.

And in that moment, when the impact had left her breathless, she saw the officer behind the car, dragging Ted away in handcuffs. His cheeks were bright red under his teary eyes.   
  
“I’ll kill you” Chloe let out a high-pitched gasp while following the murderer with her bloodshot eyes.  
“I’ll kill you” She gasped for air again. Feeling a hatred that overshadowed any emotion she had been so unfortunate to experience; all the others inconsequential in comparison.  
“I’ll kill you” Spoken to Ted, spoken to every ear around her. She clutched Max’s wrist; finally ready to give in.

She turned her head to look at the officer on the phone. He was mouthing addresses frantically while his eyes were still locked on the girl on the ground, a glaring touch of panic in his eyes. Chloe then looked to her left, over at their car with the keys still in the ignition twenty feet away. She bend slightly down to look under the car and saw the gun that Ted had dropped, which the officer had forgotten to pick up during the skirmish.  
Although her body was unlikely to respond, although her mind was still scattered, she couldn’t just sit still and wait for the officers to arrest her.  
While trying to control her breathing- a task that proved to be impossible- she watched Ted and the brawny officer closely, walking towards the police car. She had to time it.  
She waited on the ground for a few seconds, deafened by the rain around her, until the officer finally opened the car door and demanded Ted to get in. Her heart pounded. Her hand let go of her friend’s wrist.

“Oh, shit!” Chloe yelled with her open eyes looking at the police car, and this outburst caused the officer on the phone to notice Chloe’s line of sight and turned around to look as to why she yelled out. A pivotal distraction. With one officer busy with pushing Ted into the backseat of the police car, and the other looking away, Chloe seized the opportunity and as silently as she could manage, ran across the grassy field while staying low, her feet doing their best to steer her in the direction of the car. She slipped once in the mud, but quickly got back up and kept going until she reached the car, stepped around it, and grabbed the gun on the ground at the very moment the officer on the phone had turned back around.

“HEY!” The phone in his hand immediately dropped to the ground to place his two hands around the grip of his gun. Although these two particular officers had proven themselves to not be light on the trigger, it was still somewhat comforting to be ducking on the side of the car as cover, in case he decided that he had had enough, or his fingers shook too much.  
“Hands in the air or I will shoot!” He sounded stressed- for valid reasons. Although Chloe had crossed the boundary of ‘stressed’ and jumped straight to livid.  
The second officer who finally got Ted in the car had reacted to the shouting and was now also holding his gun up, watching where his partner was aiming and adjusted his own accordingly as he hadn’t seen Chloe taking cover.  
Instead of allowing another burning breath to pass through her throat in this world that had just crossed the line to be considered a waking nightmare, Chloe swallowed instead, looked at the gun while leaning against the car door in a sitting position but forced herself not to hesitate, as she lifted the gun above the hood of the car and fired a random shot. She immediately yelled when she felt the recoil, and purely out of rage, she fired a second shot. Her intention wasn’t to hit the officers- not that it would matter now- but simply to force them behind cover in fear of being shot. A plan that worked as the robust officer quickly slipped behind the police car, while the other simply dropped on the ground.

It was difficult to hear, but one of them were already dispatching on his radio.

At this point, it seemed there could be no escape. There was no feasible way that Chloe could avoid getting arrested before the end of the day. But she didn’t need the day. She just needed another hour. One hour to finish what should have been done days ago. And she was more motivated than ever- this time, she would stop for nothing. Not even death.

Although it tore her apart to leave Max, her world was already shattered- never to recover. So in what she knew to be her final push, Chloe quickly shifted her body, opened the car door and scurried inside. With a heart beating like a runaway train going faster and faster; her vision blurred, she forcefully turned on the ignition and started the car, shining light on the officers that immediately stood up with an intense look in their eyes.  
It was as if opening the curtain to a theatrical tragedy, the light beaming across the open field, highlighting every single rain drop that had its 0.1 second in the spotlight. The police car in the background with a shaking boy in the back added to the story, but the sting to bring it all together, was the girl lying softly on the cushion of grass. Her arms were out to the side, her face was looking straight up; placed in such a way that it looked as if she had fallen from the sky. The pouring rain almost made it look as if she was moving- twitching ever so slightly in the illumination from the headlights. It all looked so beguilingly staged.  

“We’re not letting you escape!” The one officer closest to her yelled with his gun pointed and his finger on the trigger.

Chloe ripped herself free from her ethereal thoughts and closed the curtain. “Then you better start shooting, asshole!” She yelled back at him as she put the car in reverse and floored it, which vigorously and with a jump forced the car backward.

There was only time for one sharp breath before a loud ping sounded- a bullet fired by one of the officers hitting the bumper of the car. Chloe instinctively reacted by ducking slightly but didn’t stop driving.  
“Fuck” She whispered through her teeth before turning the wheel sharply, the cars screeching along the ground as it turned. Another shot was fired but hit the ground. They were most likely aiming for her wheels, or just too shaken to aim properly. The moment the car had fully turned, Chloe slammed the car in drive and once again, pushed her foot on the accelerator. Through the red light in the rain, she saw in the rear view mirror that the officers hurried into their police car to chase after her.

“Fuck… fuck! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!” Amidst her yelling, she clutched the steering wheel until a sharp pain started to emerge and she embraced it. Energy her body couldn’t afford to spend rushed through her as she kept pressing down on the accelerator.

“Ethan… you’re going to fucking die…” A whimpering whisper through her teeth.  
“The police will catch me when I am standing above your dead body” Words that were too significant to simply be thoughts.   
“Not a second before” She had said it before. Vowed to kill Ethan a dozen of times. But she felt the difference. She knew why this time it would happen no matter what.  
“I promise it” She no longer had anything to lose but her own life.  
“And Ted… I will find out if you’re working with Ethan or not. Why you shot Max… and I’ll smash your face in no matter the answer” It was a horrific feeling.  
“HEAR THAT, GOD!? I WILL FUCKING KILL ETHAN AND TED, AND IF I COULD, I WOULD FUCKING KILL YOU TOO!” It was only her screams that could numb the pain and only her thoughts of revenge that could silence the fear.

If only she could silence her heart, to stop it from breaking a piece every time it beat.

If only she could sleep to then awake from this nightmare. 

If only she could travel back in time.


	49. Tread on the Heels

It was the last drop working its way unpredictably down the windshield. The rain had subsided. She wished it hadn’t. She had enjoyed the noise of water hitting her car, millions of tiny explosions creating the white noise that made her yells seem quieter. Now it was just dark outside with calm puddles on the side of the road, the only disarray was in her body and mind. She didn’t have a single thought after driving from the horrible scene that she still had trouble comprehending. Or maybe that was false. Maybe she had a lot of clear thoughts, but didn’t process them, didn’t really acknowledge them as a part of herself. It was more like voices from the outside, entering her ears and becoming her thoughts.  
She slowed the car to a halt and looked out the left window in her car. Like every color becoming the absence of color, her emotions had become nothing. Every feeling was rushing through her and it was impossible to feel so much at once, so it had simply become a single feeling of emptiness.  
She wasn’t parked outside of Ethan’s home. She had instinctively driven back home. Back to her grandfather’s small, faded-yellow house.  
She didn’t know why she was here, and not in the process of putting a bullet through Ethan’s skull.

_Why am I home? It doesn’t make sense. I am not thinking straight._

The car door felt cold to the touch, light to open. The colors of the outside seemed so bright, yet so bleak. She kept hearing her own voice in her ears, not in her mind. If she were to think about it, however, the voice didn’t sound that much like her own. As she stepped out of the car, she chose to forget to close the door, chose to leave the car keys in the ignition. She felt so out of touch with everything around her as if everything was floating. Perhaps as if her surroundings were actively trying to get away from her.  
  
_No. It makes perfect sense. If Ted is working with Ethan, he would have warned the police by now of my plan to kill him. He’d tell them where he lives, and they’d be waiting for me right now. That’s what is actually happing. That is the reality._

She walked the short path from the car to the house, everything happening in a second. Every step being a leap. She hadn’t looked up from her feet, her body just walking to her destination by instinct. It was too bleak to see anything anyway. And if she were to look at her hand reaching for the door, would she even be able to see anything but Max?

_So how do I even get to Ethan? I can’t… I can’t drive, they’d… oh God, they’d recognize my car and shoot me right away. They know I’m dangerous. They’ll kill me. The police will kill me._

With a mental image of herself being shot, she entered the house and the warmth she had become so used to expect, passed over her. Her skin covered in a thin bubble, keeping the temperature stable. She imagined a line in front of her feet. A red line painted on the floor, leading her forward, up to her room. From the corner of her eye, she saw a figure sitting in a chair. No. She could be more specific. She saw her grandfather in the living room, sitting in the chair that Chloe usually was sitting on. The TV was off. Perhaps just black and muted. He was holding a phone in his hands, but he wasn’t speaking. Many more details could be seen but failed to be processed. His expression being one of them. Because one expression had been burnt into her brain, an expression that every person’s face would have from this point on. The expression of Max screaming for help. 

_Max… What would Max do? Maybe she’d bait Ethan to go somewhere else. Somewhere I could kill him in peace. Perhaps she would wait it out. She always was so cautious. I mean… she is cautious. Was. Is._

As she interchanged those two words, Alfred suddenly got up from his chair and walked over to Chloe. His mouth was moving, it may had been for a while. She could hear him, she could recognize that it was words he was speaking, but he was still too confused with what had happened with Ethan. Chloe didn’t need another confused person. She didn’t need someone to ask her questions. So she ignored him and continued to think up a strategy to get to Ethan, but the more she tried to piece together what Max would have done in this situation, the louder the voices in her head became.

_Fuck THAT! I’LL JUST RUN TO HIS HOUSE. RUN INSIDE, PULL OUT MY GUN, SAY NOTHING, AND SHOOT HIM. NO HESITATION. NO DISTRACTIONS THIS TIME. I’LL RUN INSIDE BEFORE THE POLICE HAVE A CHANCE TO SHOOT ME! THEY CAN TRY, BUT THEY WON’T STOP ME!_

“Chloe!” Alfred’s voice suddenly pushed through when he grabbed her by the arm, probably firmer than he meant it to be.  
“Did you hear what I said? You really look like you’re sick, and your makeup is… why have you been crying? What- what happened with that man?” He questioned while loosening his grip, but Chloe hadn’t heard what he had said. He was only a part of the background, no more in focus than the cupboard by the wall, nor the empty bowl on the table.

“No. I- I don’t trust you” She nearly whimpered as she tried to slither away from the grip on her arm as if the hand on her arm was a long-legged bug, enwrapping the limp. Just as Alfred let go, clearly sensing Chloe was not entirely stable, she imagined a stomping noise coming from upstairs.  
“I hear thumping in my room. Is there someone up there?” Her line of sight didn’t change as she began walking forward. She giggled inside of her head at her own question. There was no thumping from her room, she knew that. She said there was. There wasn’t.  
  
Alfred stood still for a second, looking at his granddaughter staggering away from him. “What? You… there’s no thumping, just-“ Even though Chloe was at fault for his confusion, she was the one to quickly cut him off.

“I need to check it out” She couldn’t figure out if she should sound scared or angry. She couldn’t figure out why she lied about hearing a thumping. Of course, now that she had lied about it, she could actually hear a low noise, sounding like footsteps coming from upstairs. It was quiet but noticeable. 

“Chloe, should I call someone? The police, an ambulance? I- I don’t know what to do”

She kept on walking despite Alfred’s desperate pleading to understand the situation. He didn’t know if he should restrain Chloe, or let her rest for a while. He knew that she had stopped taking her medication, so that was the only logical explanation he could come up with. That she had suffered a setback in consideration of all the events Chloe had apparently experienced. All the things he was unaware that had happened to his own granddaughter. His body was frozen when his mind got stuck on the wondering if he should have been more present. Asking more about what she had been up to. Asking her about her mental health.  
He was just scared that Chloe would get mad at him for pushing her for information.  
Now he was scared that he had neglected her, failed to help her when she needed it the most.  
But she was already gone.  
  
_There definitely is someone in my room._

Chloe thought to herself, already up the flight of stairs, now walking the few remaining steps to her room.

_The thumping has gotten louder._

It was like a soundwave with a set interval that passed through her entire body, lifting her brain into the top of her skull, hurting her head. She steadily placed her hands down her waist while standing face-to-handle with the door, wiggling her fingers around, preparing to draw. The suspense was building, the sounds enhancing. One final breath through her nose and she leaped forward, grabbed the handle and forced the door open in a single swoop. Her vision had never been clearer as she took in every single detail of her room. The messy bed, the opened closet, the wrinkled can on the table, the cigarette butt on the floor, the small lamp on her nightstand, the 17 posters on her wall, the clock on the wall, the trash can in the corner that was almost filled up, the single nail on the wall, the stereo underneath her TV that was angled a single degree away from her bed, the girl standing next to the bed who disappeared into thin air the moment she was exposed.

_“Max! Stop stomping around!”_

Chloe opened her mouth and felt the air pass by her lips but failed to hear her own voice. She swiftly got into a stance and looked around to see where her friend could have hidden. The thumping continued, so she must still be in the room somewhere, Chloe figured. She then saw Max standing by the closet in her black underwear, changing bras.

_“Stay there!”_

But once she had silently yelled, Max had vanished again, but the sounds continued.

_“Please! Just calm down, so we can talk! I won’t hurt you, I promise!”_

She looked to her right, almost as if she knew Max had moved over to sit in the chair at the table, tapping away on the keyboard on the PC. This time Chloe played it more cautious and held her breath as she slowly began walking over her friend, hoping she wouldn’t notice her. The thumping sounds began synchronizing with every quiet step she took and the fourth time her feet met the ground, she reached out her hand and placed on Max’s shoulder, but it passed through her and she ended up grabbing the backrest of the chair.

_“So you’re just a ghost, huh? Here the haunt me because it was my fault you got shot?”_

She closed her eyes because she felt it coming. Darkened her vision to keep out the distractions for once.

_“Because I pushed you into my revenge act”_

She did everything she could to rile herself up, as there was no longer any reason to fight it.

_“But you’re not dead, are you? No. You’re not”_

Her nails dug into the chair as she allowed all the weight to be placed upon her.

_“You’re not dead”_

And then she snapped.

_“YOU CAN’T BE DEAD!”_

It was like a fierce wave crashing into her, an explosion shattering her insides, a storm messing with the wires in her brain. Everything. All at once. As an instant reaction, Chloe clutched the chair that felt weightless in her hands, lifted it above her right shoulder, and flung it across the room. The yell she made deafened the bang the chair created when it smashed against the wall, plastic pieces flying out like shrapnel. It fell hard to the floor, but Chloe wasn’t finished. She couldn’t stop the torture going on in her mind, but if she created the chaos, she could at least control it. 

With fast-paced breathing, Chloe took the phone out of her pocket and tossed it on the table before leaping to the side and grabbed the clock hanging on the wall. She yanked it out of the nail it was hanging on, looked at her own reflection in the glass and presented herself with a forced smile. She was present. She was alive.  
And so, with a cry she hurled the clock, not caring where it would hit. The glass immediately shattered when hit the side of the closet, and pieces of glass were scattered all around the floor.

_“Time really flies when you’re freaking out!”_

She furiously began clapping her hands together as she began feeling the black mascara tears dripping from her chin and an eerie sensation in her stomach. 

_“Isn’t that funny Max?! I always made you laugh didn’t I?!”_

The clapping stopped when she took a step forward towards the broken clock and ran a hand across her face to remove the snot from under her nose. 

_“SO FUCKING LAUGH!”_

She yelled as loud as she could but didn’t hear herself. She only felt the next step she took, as the skin underneath her foot was punctured by a piece of broken glass.

 _“Laugh at me! Yell at me! Fuck me!”_  
  
She turned around with her arms to the side, jumping up and down on the pieces of glass, almost as if she was dancing around. It shot a sharp pain through her, but the cuts were nothing compared to the constant stabbing in her brain.

_“Yeah, Max. You wanna fuck me?! Wanna fuck me in the aaAAAAARGH!!!”_

She clutched her stomach when a sharp pain ran through it. It felt like acid in her throat as her mouth began salivating. It felt like a hot ball of lead in her stomach that would burn through her skin at any second, which in a panic caused Chloe to shove two fingers into her mouth and down her throat to induce vomiting. Her knuckles were pressed up against her teeth as she was scratching around her uvula with her nails until the gag reflex finally kicked in and she was forced to hunch over and open her mouth wide. But nothing came out, only a single string of salvia that was now stuck to her lip.  
She looked at it for a brief second, but she didn’t want a pause. She was not done with her mental breakdown just yet. She felt as if she deserved it. As her whole life had been piling shit on her back, just waiting patiently to watch her snap, and now there were so many thoughts of death and guilt occupying her mind that it had to happen.   

_“I gave her a nod. I told her to reverse time with that nod. Ted shot her because he couldn’t… allow Max to reverse time. If I didn’t give her that fucking nod, she would still be here! BUT HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW TED WOULD SHOOT HER?! Is he working with Ethan? Is he just a fucking lunatic?! I can’t fucking think about this right now! THERE’S TOO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT!”_

The second she moved, the drapes closed on her mind. She moved with gaps, grabbing whatever she could find on her table and threw it away without looking. It was like a wide-awake blackout.  
First, she threw a pile of papers that scattered in the air, then she picked the dusty small lamp and clutched it around her shaking fingers before throwing it behind her back. Just as she went to grab the next item, she heard frightened yelling coming from downstairs, although she didn’t try to make out the words, she could recognize Alfred’s voice clearly. It was no surprise he had heard all the commotion, all the things she smashed without a second thought, even the neighbors could probably hear it. He kept yelling, but the voice didn’t get closer. He wasn’t walking up the stairs to stop her granddaughter from wrecking all the items she had gathered through the years. Destroying every physical memory placed around her room that no longer felt so small and safe. Maybe he was scared, or perhaps he was unable. Unable to walk up the steps in his old age. Chloe knew that he definitely once could, but she hadn’t actually seen him upstairs for a month or so now. Was it too much for him? Were a few steps enough of an obstacle to stop him from helping his daughter in her time of need?  
It didn’t really matter to Chloe because if he were to enter, she could potentially end up hurting him.

_“I should hurt myself. That would be justice, wouldn’t it? A slash for every person I’ve hurt”_

Next thing that came flying was a small eyeliner pencil. The one she had used this morning. Following the eyeliner, came a candle and the moment it left her hand, she began singing in her head to keep out thoughts of wanting to slice her wrists open. 

_“It’s been 17 years now that we've been together. She once had a name until I knew her better. Screams in my head when somebody upsets her. She loves the screaming and I love to let her. With her black boots, white hair, good girls nightmare- fuck I’m so good at singing!”_

Throwing her hands up in the air, Chloe took all the applause in as she continued throwing whatever objects she found in to be placed in her hand. She looked towards the ceiling but saw the sky, the heaven above her like a foamy sea with the suns reflection burning her eyes. It all went white and she felt her feet being lifted from the ground in a jump, being allowed for a single second to know what it might feel like being pulled up to the heaven she knew no longer existed.  
And then she fell back down.  
The pieces of glass underneath her foot, being pushed further in, which made her wince in pain. It was the reality of the situation.  
She was stuck on the ground, stuck on this earth that could only gather pain from her existence.  
Her hand reached for the next item to throw, wanting pieces of the world around to know the torment of flying for a second, only to fall back down.  
The item she grabbed felt warm to the touch, a smooth surface with a sense of familiarity to it. It felt too heavy to throw, not because of the weight, but because her arm refused. She turned her head to look at what she had grabbed from the table, and in a second of composure, she saw it. The thing that instantly pulled her strings and cleared her lungs from the quicksilver.

It was Max’s grey notebook that her fingers were wrapped around. It was so cryptically blank and boring to look at, but holding it in her hands brought a weird sensation to her body.   
Her whole world came to a halt as if she had just awoken with a nasty hangover as her body acknowledged the headache, the dehydration, the sleep-deprivation, the stomachache, the physical pain and the sickness. The urge to throw the notebook in the realization of all these feelings became stronger, wanting to go back to her blackout, wanting to keep the distractions going. She would rather scream than cry, rather be angry than afraid. But her body couldn’t do it anymore. A pause was enough for her to shut down, unable to restart. Absentmindedly, Chloe flipped the pages in the notebook, only catching a few meaningless words every now and then. Not knowing where she was going with this, or even why she was inattentively flipping through pages, she turned to page 1, where the first words read “January 11, 2014”  Her senses were already caught in the words further down the page, and she began reading, mouthing the words along on her dry lips.

 **If you’re reading this, and you didn’t write it, then you’re a dirty SNOOP! And I WILL find you, and I WILL look at your browser history and share it online! So stop SNOOPING!**  
  
**Unless it’s Chloe reading this. In that case: Hi, Chloe! Most of this will probably be boring to you, but I’ll write some stuff about you on… ~~page 6 or something.~~ Page 5! I know you’d be interested in reading about yourself, you ~~narcassist~~ :)**  
**narcissist! That’s a tough word. Cut me some slack.**

While the words were blurry in her vision and were difficult to focus on, as Chloe read Max’s handwriting, she could hear her own voice in her head again, cautiously talking to her. Her heart calmed a little down when she tactfully turned to page 5. Most likely a concomitant of allowing herself to stand still for a few seconds, but she found comfort in the thought that it was Max’s words that had the tranquil effect on her.  
It relaxed her body enough to acknowledge the sadness she had buried, and it made her sob without tears, without a voice. She shut her eyes close for a few seconds and took a breath through her nose in an attempt to compose herself, but she couldn’t stop herself from whimpering.  
However, she was unsure of what to feel when she opened her eyes again and saw the whole first page filled with words. Reading words written by Max before she had become her girlfriend, words that dated months back, written in the course of recovering from the trauma the storm had caused them. With no expectations, without wanting to predict the emotions reading this page would result in, her voice began speaking in her head once more.

**February 2, 2014**

**I’ve been thinking more about the weird... hallucinations you might call them that I had the day just before the storm destroyed Arcadia Bay. The Triple T’s, I’d like to call them. Time-Travel-Trips. Like I’m hella zoned, as Chloe would so scientifically put it. Especially the times where I saw Chloe, talking trash about me. I figure it was a number of totally different timelines, but it made me wonder what I could have done in that timeline to piss Chloe off so much that she’d call me her personal puppet, and then fucking making out with Victoria.  (That was seriously messed up. And nobody steals Chloe from me!)**

**(Ir)regardless, it has made me wonder if I can actually be sure that what I am seeing is real? Or well… the visions are technically real as well. So I should be asking myself: Do the things I see, belong in this timeline. Or does timelines intertwine? So in all actuality, what is reality, if not just a clusterfuck of timelines mashed together to form a separate timeline, in which I call the “real” one when it’s just the one I experience, even though a million other Max’s experience other ones?**

**I digress. (Cuz I am going insane thinking about it.) The core of my worries, is just that I want to make sure that both Chloe and I belong here, and not somewhere else. The thing is: I’ve heard Chloe briefly mention seeing visions as well. Like, she has seen me a couple of times when I was not actually there. It’s more about her psychosis than time-travel consequences I’m sure (maybe?), but it’s the reason I even brought this vision shit up. All that stopped, however, when Chloe began taking her medicine she got prescribed by some psychologist. She hasn’t mentioned him much, but she seems to get decently along with him (surprisingly enough). She doesn’t hallucinate anymore, and although she hesitates talking about it, she gives off the impression that she is improving. I’m cheering for you, Chloe!**

**Actually, I know you might be reading this Chloe, so I hope talking about you this way is alright. Feel free to… talk to me about it, if you want. I know you don’t like getting into the real shit all the time, and that’s cool. Our talks about top 10 worst WatchMojo videos are really the highlight of my day anyway. So thanks for that. Thanks for… keeping me company through this shitty time. I seriously wouldn’t know what I’d do without you. And I actually kind of wish I had the guts to… tell you that face-to-face. Like, I still think about the moment we had when we watched the storm up on the hill. While it was the most devastating moment of my life, at least it wasn’t my loneliest. And I’d do anything to help you get through these tough times, and I know you’d do the same. Hell, you already are. Thank you, Chloe. You more to me than a friend. You’re…**

**Nah, fuck this noise. I’ll talk to you in real life. Enough sappy shit. I know you hate that.**

**It’s actually weird writing as if I am writing this to you when it’s in my damn journal. You might never read this anyway; even though I have given you permission, you still really respect my privacy.**

**Eurgh. I’m a blabberpen. Can’t wait to see you (Chloe) in the weekend! Hearts and smiling faces!**

And that was the whole page. There were an equal amount of words on the very next, but this was all Chloe could take. She knew to be sad, reading words from her girlfriend who no longer possibly existed in this world, but in actuality, it made her mad. Reading a page that said “Thank you” as if she deserved praise at this point. She closed the journal but kept it in her hand, then looked around the room. Trying to see if Max was anywhere to be found; if she could hallucinate a ghost.  
And she could.  
  
She saw Max everywhere in her small room. She saw her lying in the bed, the covers over half of her body. She saw her sitting at the desk, editing her photos in Photoshop. Beside the closet she was standing, on the floor, she was sitting. Wearing an expression that she could not read. She was all over the place, never settling.

If what Max had pondered about in her journal were to be true; that an infinite amount of timelines existed, then why was this one hers? Was there a timeline where none of this had happened? Could there even be a timeline where they both existed together? Would the universe allow that?  
What did existence mean, when there was no distinction between a universe where she was alive, and a universe where she was dead?

She felt her shaking hand holding the journal, imploring to throw it away. Make it as meaningless as all the other objects around her and continue to distract herself from the unrelenting blame. Letting go, and giving up.  
Her hand arose and her teeth clashed in the erosion of hope.  
She closed her eyes just as her cell phone began ringing with its familiar tedious melody. Her hand was held up as her movements stopped. She looked straight ahead without wavering as if she was staring into the abyss with no idea of how to react. The melody continued for a couple of seconds until she took a breath, turned towards the desk and discarded the journal onto the table before looking down at her ringing phone.  
There was no name on the screen, just the number “206-521-4567”. At first, she made the mental choice to ignore it, as she didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially when she saw it was someone that wasn’t a contact in her phone. Neither did she feel as if she had the proper communication skills at the moment.  
As she turned her head to look at the mess she had created, it dawned on her.

_What if it’s someone calling about Max? Maybe she’s been emitted to the hospital. Maybe she isn’t actually dead?_

Turning back, Chloe began studying her phone, already having mentally chosen to take the call, but now daring herself to wait before picking up the phone, allowing the melody to play its final tune.

_Maybe…_

A zap ran through her body as she swiftly reached for the phone, accepted the call with her thump, pressed the phone against her warm ear and waited.

“Hello?” It was a fairly deep male voice, neither friendly nor hostile. There was light noise in the background, sounding as if the person was in a car. Chloe opened her mouth to answer, wanting to ask who it was as the voice sounded rather familiar, but her body was still too alarmed. Her throat too tight to let out a voice.  
  
No. That was an excuse. She could answer, she could use her voice to respond, but even without the name, she actually knew who the caller was.    
  
“Chloe, are you there? Max didn’t answer her phone, so…” It was the last person she wanted to talk to. At this moment, it was even worse than Ethan.  
“It’s Ryan” Max’s father.

Chloe held her breath, the depth of every occurrence being presented to her in a new light. The room around her got bigger, the walls felt paper thin, and her whole body shrunk. Max had a family.  
How would she even go about ever explaining what had happened?

In the long absence of a response, Ryan took a breath that was heard through the phone and spoke, confused.   
“…’kay. I just wanted to let Max know that I am coming to pick her up in ten-fifteen minutes, so if she can be ready by then, it’d be great”

With a shaking hand, Chloe placed the phone back down on the table, recalling that Max had talked to her father about going home a few days ago. Home to her parents, away from Chloe. But Ryan was too late.  
Max wasn’t going home.

“Alright?” He spoke through the phone once more but didn’t get an answer.


	50. Last Blues for Bloody Knuckles

“Aw, fuck!” She exclaimed loudly.

The drops of blood falling to the floor weren’t getting smaller; it brought a sickness to her stomach to watch the red drip from her feet. She was gently pulling out pieces of broken glass from under her foot, and although the biggest pieces were the most painful, they were also the easiest. The small ones, the ones she couldn’t even see, only feel, would be the worst.

Chloe had placed herself on the toilet in the upstairs bathroom, having calmed herself enough to at least let out sounds again. Sounds of pain, albeit. Her heart had settled on a dangerously slow rhythm, no longer having the energy to alarm her body. She felt tired but growled at the thought of sleeping. She was hungry but had no appetite. She thought of what to do next, but it got her nowhere.

All the broken pieces of her life were shattered on the floor in her room and she only had ten minutes before she had to confront Max’s father. Ten minutes before she had to lie again. There would never be a break longer than such a fleeting amount of time until she finished what every nerve in her body still screamed at her to do.

_Do I really have it in me to kill Ethan? Does the thought of revenge control me that much?_

Gently rubbing her feet with the palm of her hand, Chloe felt a moment of perspicacity. Her thoughts guided by what Max said only minutes before the incident.

_She told me I was in the wrong. That killing Ethan wouldn’t fix anything, and only make me more messed up… I still don’t agree, but that doesn’t mean that I am right._

Chloe got up on her feet to feel the slight sting from the remaining pieces of glass, quickly brushed it off and walked over to the sink. A glance in the mirror showed what she expected, although marginally worse. Her face was pale- a sick grey color spreading from her eyes that had heavy bags under them. The mascara was smeared all over her cheeks, her lips were dry, her hair messy and grotesque.

_Should I just give up? If I do, I’ll never see Ethan again…_

Taking her attention away from the mirror, Chloe looked down to see her dirty hands and found several stains of blood on her fingers. To her surprise, when she used her thumb to rub it off, it showed to be dry. This was not blood she had gotten from the glass under her foot. This was not recent.  
This was Max’s dry blood on her hands.

_I’ll never see… Max again._

An inching chill ran up her spine, prompting her to turn her head and ended up looking at the shower to her right. The white ceramic glaring in the reflection of the bathroom lights, and although she had taken a thousand showers in there, the only one she could truly remember was the one with her friend.  

_Because of Ethan._

She remembered they told each other what makes them happy. Max’s last sentence stood clear in her mind, the one thing she said that made Chloe’s heart skip a beat and urged her to say, for the first time, that she loved her. But although she remembered the answer, she couldn’t repeat those words in her head. It would be too painful.  
Instead, she hastily substituted her thoughts to recall the event that was always stuck in the back of her head. The tornado that destroyed Arcadia Bay.  
All this time, she had classified that single event as the worst day of her life, but it had slowly changed into something else. Transformed into a different stamp. It was the time Max eminently proved how much she loved Chloe.

 _Max had to live with the guilt of being responsible for hundreds of deaths. She did it for me._  
 _I will never be able to repay that… but it’s my turn now. She sacrificed an entire town for me._  
 _The least I can do is the kill the fucker that was responsible for where Max is now._  
 _I love her. And he took it away. Took my life away. Took_ hers _away._  
 _I’ll take_ his _away._

Empty of rage and instead overwhelmed with a sense of exhaustion followed by her breakdown, Chloe slapped her right cheek with an open palm a couple of times to get the blood flowing, to regain the energy needed for her to follow through. She gave herself one particular hard slap before biting down on her lower lip and grabbing her phone she had brought in from her room. With the pain having alarmed her body, she could force out the spleen and leave out all the rest. She no longer wanted to be afraid, no longer wanted to fear her own mind. With her left hand, she grabbed the collar of her black shirt that had traces of dirt almost all over. Her jeans were a lot worse, however, with her behind and thighs covered in dry mud, and the knee area mostly torn to pieces. It was all details she decided to shun as she focused on dialing a number on her phone. A number that stood so clearly in her mind. 208-887-0760. 

He had called her several times, but it would be the first time she had called him. It was not a sudden impetuous action. She knew exactly why she called him, and exactly what she wanted to say. Word-for-word.  
As she hit call, she felt the bubble around her becoming smaller; her world receding, and her body being left alone.

“…Hello?” Ethan answered after a short hesitation.  

Chloe swallowed in the forthcoming of anger from hearing the gruff voice once more, but the resentment didn’t come. Not the one she was used to at least. It was like hearing the voice of someone you’d want to forget; a pest that kept coming back.

“Where are you?” In contrast to Ethan, she spoke without pause. Without hesitation.  
“Yes, it would be stupid of you to answer, but you know I will find you, and I figure instead of the constant fear of death, you’d be better off just getting the real thing right now. Don’t talk around it, don’t lecture me, and don’t mention the greater good. Just tell me” She shook her head dourly, not wanting this conversation to be just another. She was too tired, her eyes dreary while looking at her left hand curling her own thumb.

“Chloe. I’m- I’m glad you called, but can we… can we just talk like two regular people for a second, please? I won’t try to mislead you or anything, but the police came to my house and started asking me incoherent questions. They didn’t try to arrest me or anything like that, so I figure you didn’t call them, but they won’t tell me what is going on…”  
It did nothing for Chloe to hear his voice turn to fright, and she markedly scoffed when he suggested they’d talk like two regular people. Neither of them was regular at this point, but they weren’t the same kind of messed up either. They couldn’t stand next to each other and not be distinguishable. 

“So you are at home… and you called the cops on us, maybe it has something to do with that, you cocksucker”  
A sharp urge to hang up the phone came to her. If Ethan was at home, they would be no reason to listen to his manipulate words and obvious facade.

“What? I didn’t call the police at any point. They’ve spoken to you as well?”

All he did was confirm Chloe’s wariness with his feigned question.  
“Yeah, so much for not misleading me. Save your bullshit, I don’t care. I’m coming for you, and then I’ll deal with that fucker Ted, you’ve been working with” With mental images popping into her head, Chloe quickly turned around and closed her eyes, but still saw everything she wanted to forget.

“What… what does Ted have to do with any of this?” He wanted to avoid it, but the mention of Ted provoked his reluctant voice with all the signals that stemmed. 

“Maybe something about the fact that he shot Max” She responded annoyed while taking two steps closer to the bathtub, her aching foot stepping onto a towel that had been tossed on the floor.

“What?! He shot her?! Chloe, I- I never told him to do that, I swear. Is- is Max alive?” Ethan’s voice rose to a yell, to then turn into distress. It confirmed what she had believed but brought no comfort along with it.

“So he was working with you all this time, huh? You needed some kid to do your fucking shit for you?” Frustrated about the inevitable mention of Max, Chloe kept her focus on the white towel and replaced the images of demise in her head, with a remembrance of when she had tossed the towel.

“He did help me out, yes, but Max... is she alright?” Another worried mention of her name with a sickly perturbation to his breathy voice. 

And just then, Chloe realized how the towel ended up on the floor and it made her vision flicker while shoving a sharp twinge through her stomach.  
“Stop sounding so fucking concerned about her! You’re the reason this happened to her!” The angry yell was forced out because the white towel brought back the memory that it was Max that tossed it when she went to hand it to Chloe in the shower, but Chloe grabbed her instead and pulled her in with her. Two images collided, the one prompted by seeing the towel, and the one forced into her head by Ethan. The image of Max’s pale body on the ground.

“No! I’ve told you countless times that I just did what I had to do to save my daughter! Why would I want to kill her?! And I didn’t! I didn’t! I never called the police, and I did NOT order Ted to shoot Max! Fuck!” Something had clicked as Ethan’s cold exterior had vanished, if just for a moment, and Chloe could tell he wasn’t faking it. That he wasn’t acting to sway Chloe in any way, but she did not care.

“Whatever! What the fuck does it matter?! Ted probably called the cops then, who gives a fuck?! You were the one that tried to force Max to save your bitch-daughter, and you were the one working with Ted, who was the one that shot Max. You set all of this in motion. Don’t try to free yourself of the blame!” She marked the last word as she bent down and picked up the towel in one swoop.

“I’m not his fucking boss. I didn’t force him to do anything!” It was clear that he was struck with guilt, no matter how much he tried to deny fault and because of that, his words bounced right off Chloe, until she heard his voice settle and slow down as he continued to speak.  
“Listen, I’ve known Ted before any of this happened. He was a patient of mine, just like you were. He dealt with a form of schizophrenia that got severe when his father died, and his mother almost killed herself in mourning. He couldn’t distinguish reality from fantasy, and it nearly made him go insane. I worked with him for over a goddamn year, trying everything I could to get his life back on track. He fought so hard, and I never gave up on him. Through that year, I also talked with his mother, Joanna, and even though I was their psychologist, I still befriended them. After Ted got his schizophrenia under control, I still talked with Ted and Joanna once in a while… and after the storm killed my daughter and my wife left me, they… they tried to help me, as I had helped them. I think Ted… in his fantasy world saw me as his father. Of course, I didn’t condone his conviction, but he is such a good kid, so I tried not to question it”  
A pause entered, and although he wasn’t finished with his obnoxious story about his past relationship with Ted, Chloe had stood still for too long and she had to force herself out of her numbness in fear of letting Ethan get to her.

“God, shut up! I told you to save the fucking bullshit. I don’t care about your background with some freak. Don’t talk to me as if you still have a chance of redemption here!” She made the last sentence especially loud as she leisurely threw the towel from her hands, onto the side of the sink. Ethan had some way, some rhetoric way to get a person to listen to him, but this one time, she didn’t want to grant him the opportunity.  

Yet, Ethan took a quiet breath and used a few seconds to respond in a manner that staggered Chloe.  
“…Then let me talk as if these were my last words”

The way he said this short sentence earnestly portrayed his desperation to explain. As if he had wanted to explain his affairs with Ted for a long time. Not because he was trying to manipulate Chloe, but because this was something he had no one to share with, and so desperate he must have been for this girl to be one.

“…” So Chloe stayed quiet but didn’t let her guard down.

“Thank you,” He said in the absence of a response, which in itself, was a response.  
“When I started talking with you, Chloe, and found out the true cause of my daughter’s death, I knew I had to try to… to do something! And Ted helped me… he said he wanted to meet his sister. So he, eh, he contacted you over Twitter after I said I had released information about you and Max on the… I mean, online. He acted as if he was trying to help you so that when you met at the bar, Red Feather, you would trust him. He kept me updated about your whereabouts and your plans, so I could go about everything in an unassailable manner. But here’s something I want you to know, Chloe… through all of that, he actually came to see you both as his friends. He didn’t want to see either of you being harmed in any way, and neither did I. I just- I just did what I thought necessary, with the least amount of maltreating. And apparently so did he… but he was forced to… to… he did what he thought necessary to save his father”  
  
As he finished his story, Chloe wanted to scrutinize the voice he used to speak these words one more. He was appealing to her emotions, the very tilt in his voice so clearly showed this, but what was more important was the very thing he said. Chloe had been staring at the towel on the sink through the story, simply recalling her experiences with Ted, with Max right along-side her. However much she wanted to oppose it, Ted did actually manage to become a friend to Max through his attentive approach. And what she wanted to repudiate, even more, was the fact that she, herself, actually liked Ted, despite having met under such dire circumstances. When would she learn to distrust? When would she learn that the world would always screw her over? This was her life. But it no longer felt like it. All of that was just a camouflage of what mimics rage again.

“Alright, but here’s the thing. Ted is not my friend, and it sounds like you took advantage of a mentally unstable kid, so fuck you and fuck him. Maybe you didn’t want us to get harmed, peace with that bullshit, but you DID harm us. You killed Max!”  
She so incompetently aimed the light at him and found it to have no meaning, and so she ripped herself free from her stance and walked out the bathroom with a flicker in her vision.

“So… Max is dead?” Still wanting to know the fate of the girl that would tarnish his own, Ethan didn’t take a break.

“I- I think so” Chloe simply responded breathily while walking across the hall to then enter her room once more. The same room. Her befouled retreat.

“What do you mean?” As if he wanted details, he continued questioning while Chloe was perturbed by all the destruction in her room and broke free from the bubble that the conversation had created. The world presented itself with all of its foreboding. 

“What do I mean?! It’s not like I could fucking go on a ride-along with the ambulance with the police pointing guns at me,  could I?!”  
Hearing her own voice so clearly pass through her eyes made her body more alert.  
“She went limb. Blood was pouring out of her. Her insides were probably fucked up!”  
She took two prominent steps across the floor in her room, her feet hurting when hitting the flat surface, aiding in the anger she wanted to release.   
“And it was Ted that shot her!” Freed in the yell.  
“That’s what I know!”  
It took but another flash in her vision to regain it with a blur. She was locked on, not deterring from having control this time. 

“Alright, I’m sorry…” With his hands empty, Ethan had no intention to dispute Chloe and backed away into his weak words.   
“Chloe, I know what you’re feeling. I’m- I’m really horrified as well, but please… don’t harm Ted because of what I have done” It was harder for him to keep it together.  
“To him and to you” His frail voiced accentuated his dismay clearly.

But a pleading was mute to Chloe’s ears.  
“Don’t worry, I’m going to kill… KILL you!” She repeated the word, marked it for Ethan to hear as to eliminate any doubt and because her body wanted to convince itself of its own will.    
“Then you won’t even be able to worry about Ted! You won’t be able to do anything, because everything you are, from child to fucked-up adult… that will all be erased. Every emotion and every thought will be meaningless!” All the time spent wondering about death with a frightened mind could finally emanate from her brain to slip out of her pitiless tongue in a yell. Everything would become nothing.

“Chloe, listen to what you’re saying, you-“

“Stop saying my name!” The aggravated girl interrupted after only a second, wanting to draw the distance.

A breath was heard through the phone as a result of having been cut short.  
However, Ethan did not desire to provoke the girl but still had the valor to continue speaking.  
“…You’re not a murderer. You’re a girl who’ve been through so much trauma” His words had become strained around the safeguarding, speaking so softly it almost broke the illusion of care.  
“You’re heavily sleep-deprived with your body having been in hysteria for so dangerously long” Everything around him was quiet.  
“People can’t handle stuff like that, without something giving” The air kneeling.   
“That’s why I prescribed you that medicine. Bromazepam. When you first came to me, you were delusional. You saw things– heard things, that weren’t real” He caught the strings of the past and now weaved them with a shaking hand.   
“And now it’s happening again. You’ve stopped taking the medicine and with all of this happening… you’re not of a sane mind, and you need to be aware of your actions” Advice tarnished with fear, becoming nothing more than a reach to save himself in Chloe’s mind.  
“The actions you might regret for the rest of your life”

Regret. The word resonated in Chloe’s head and weighed it down, making her look down on her body to see her muddied clothes. Dirt she carried with her from the yet another event that would stay like a pin in her brain.

“Giving up is what I’ll regret. Not killing you is what I’ll regret” As the certitude passed from her dry mouth, Chloe walked over the table where she had placed Max’s notebook and looked at the open page but refrained from reading a single word.

“Please stop. I- I know what I’ve done, and it’s wasn’t… it wasn’t right. I’m sorry. I never wanted to be the cause of anyone’s death” He wanted to yell, she could tell, but he knew it would make his words seem less sincere.  
“I will turn myself in. I will come clean to the police and tell them everything, letting them know that all the things you did were in self-protection, so you won’t be arrested as well” It was more than a compromise he offered. It was a way to be done with everything, without the tracks of her deeds catching up to her.  
  
She stayed quiet.

But the short silence wasn’t an indication of a consideration, merely a moment to watch her reflection in the pool of where hope for a future was lost. It had never been deeper, never more unobtainable.  
“Tell me how it felt when you lost your daughter” She simply stared into a darkness that felt like home and asked this question without a touch of emotion.

“What?” Ethan questioned the unanticipated request, his mind was in another place and needed a second to travel to another part of his brain.

“Tell me the thoughts that rushed through your mind. How many sleepless nights you’ve spent with a beating heart. Tell me how many panic attacks you’ve suffered through. Tell me that you’re terrified of life”  
A touch became a grip, a reach for information in which she could look upon and use however she pleased.

“I- I…” His voice scattered as his eyes would, unprepared but willing. He took another breath, this time from the bottom of his stomach to lift up the feelings that were so very private.  
“I felt like a failure when I lost my daughter. Knowing she wouldn’t ever come back- that I would never see her again, crushed my entire world. Life didn’t feel the same anymore. It felt like something to… something I had to struggle through. I spend countless hours, just thinking about death and what it meant. I was scared. I am scared”  
The very words created the tremble in his voice that told who he really was.

Exactly what Chloe wanted.

“Life is a fucked up thing sometimes, isn’t it?” The girl questioned to elicit out the answer as she saw the headlights of a car shining through her window, briefly replacing the darkness.

“…Yeah. It is” Ethan hesitated to confirm the truth, but knew that if anyone were to know as well as him, it would be Chloe.  
“Why did you want me to tell you this?” The question prompted nervousness, apprehensive wonderings about the answer. 

“Because fear is something every person has felt. Everyone in the world comes at some point to suffering. It’s just what it means to be human”  
Chloe looked out the window as she spoke, saw the car approaching the house with Max’s father inside it. The father looking for his daughter, oblivious to all that pain.    
“And I want to know that I have killed a human when I shoot you. Not an emotionless robot. Not a devil. A scared human, just like me”  
Chloe closed her eyes, feeling her chest rise in preparation.  
“I want to know what it feels like”    
A cold voice from a last-gasp girl.

Ethan took a moment as a prerequisite to ward off the scared chill that went through his spine.   
“Chloe… I don’t want to die. I can’t! If you want justice then I will just turn myself in!” He yelled in the eyes of a present death, down on his knees if it would make a difference. His instincts for survival striking fear throughout all of his body.

“I don’t want justice…” All of her thoughts and beliefs left her in this very moment to admit the detachment from her past being.  
“I want revenge” And it felt good.

“Please…” All that could be uttered, the single word that could be whimpered from his trembling lips.

“Welcome to the fucking nightmare you trapped us in” The last words she wanted to say. The last words she wanted Ethan to hear.  
She removed the phone from her ear, gripped it tightly, and disconnected the call.  
Left with a silence that awaited the end.  
  
After a short pause, she grabbed the gun that was lying on the table as the only whole thing around her and placed her phone to replace the empty spot. A car door slamming shut sounded from just outside. Max’s father had arrived. Ryan was here to pick up his daughter.    
Chloe had several thoughts rushing through her mind as she placed the gun in her back pocket and left her room to go downstairs. all of them being speculations, imagining what would happen as soon she went downstairs to confront Alfred and Ryan. But she couldn’t foresee it clearly, every scenario could be altered by a simple action and a single word. She could only imagine walking straight by them, saying as little as possible, and then just begin running.  
Not stopping until she reached her goal.  
Not slowing down until it was over.  
Not dying until she had killed.


	51. Give It a Name

It kept burning in her brain. The repetitive words and prolonged breaths, stories she wanted to ignore. She felt too assured, so much that it scared the center of her heart. She could not change paths because she had given in and had decided to go down this road, mentally preparing herself to become a killer. But she wouldn’t use that word. She wasn’t going to kill another human being because she was angry or psychotic, but she was going to do it because it was the only thing that would end the spiral of fear.

The first few steps down the stairs had been slow, her body trying to avoid the inexorable. She hadn’t heard Ryan open the door to step inside, but she could hear two indistinct voices talking over each other. One perturbed, one confused.  
  
Her next step was light.  
The next hurting her foot.  
Next making the gun in her pocket grind against her thigh.  
Next shining light from the living room onto the bottom of her legs.  
Next making her take a breath.   
Next making her noticed.

The voices were now heard clearly in her ear, but she intentionally misconstrued them; didn’t want to a barrage of questions that would lead to painful answers. Now at the bottom of the stairs, she saw Alfred in the same black-red sweater, standing in front of Max’s father. His eyes gave away his unease of something Alfred must have told him about the whole hostage situation or something similar. He had both his hands down in his thick blue jacket and Chloe had to wonder how long it had been since she had seen him last because his beard had grown, hiding the entirety of his chin, and the creases around his eyes made him seem older. It could just be he was tired like everyone else, Chloe figured.  
Those wonderings had to be discarded when she walked close enough to initiate the first question, coming from her grandfather, Alfred.

“Dear God, what has happened to you? Are you okay, Chloe?” The first predictable question when he must have noticed Chloe’s pinched face, following all the noise he had heard coming from her room.

As Chloe didn’t answer but only took slow steps closer to them, Alfred decided to speak again with Ryan looking as if he had questions of his own, but respectively waited.  
“Did you chase after that man? And where is Max? I almost called the police, but I was so turned around I didn’t know what to do”  
Alfred’s voice sounded distraught, but it was an observation Chloe had become numb to, because however much her grandfather worried, there was no gain in easing his mind until she could ease her own.

Although she didn’t intend to answer, Ryan was quick to speak up before anyone else could.  
“You should have called the police, and yeah, where is Max?” His attention snapped from Alfred to Chloe, his composure forcefully kept.  
“Alfred told me there was a guy with a gun in your house, and I… what the hell happened, Chloe?” Collecting his hands up to his face in a subliminal attempt to hide his worries, waiting for confirmation that he should be alarmed.

It was confirmation that Chloe refused to give, even though these four eyes were staring at her as if she had a voice to make everything better. But she could only make everything worse. So why should she speak?

In silence, she took a step to the right to curve around what could only be seen as obstacles with her current agenda, and noticing the attempt to simply walk by, Ryan offhandedly moved his body, partially blocking the way, his face falling down into a stern expression.

“Chloe,” Alfred tried again, his voice gone soft as he tried to avoid escalating the situation into a quarrel.   
“I just want to know if you’re alright” The calm approach didn’t please Ryan who now felt concerned enough to discard his position and stepped forward, taking charge. 

“To hell with that. A man with a gun was in the house, and now Chloe won’t say where my daughter is” Ryan splayed his arms out, showing his dominion but was unaware of Chloe’s brittle state. The moment she perceived Ryan as preventing her from getting to Ethan’s, she tensed her limbs and silently adjured for him to keep quiet. Instead, he quickly turned his attention back to Alfred.  
“Stop being so soft with her. I need to know what is going on, where Max is,” He said to Chloe’s grandfather, as if he, himself, had the right to discipline Chloe. As if he had any influence on what she would do.  
With perfect timing in accord to Chloe’s rising annoyance, Ryan peered at her, looked down on her with a lifted chin.  “And you’re not leaving until you tell us” He spoke with a stern voice, making it clear that he meant it seriously.

Although Chloe expected his reaction, all the remains of the recent past were pressing down on her heart, and she could not utter a response. If she ever were to rip herself free from the torment she felt; she was unsure, but it couldn’t be now. All her eyes told her were how her life was gone, not upside down, not shattered, but simply under the sod. She would walk through the fire and stay in there as long as she could handle, but would not step out ever again. Leaving who she had been in the memories of friends, enemies, family and loved ones.  
  
“Hey” The sternness in his voice was a demand for attention as Chloe didn’t grant Ryan even the thought of looking at him when she took another step forward, ready to bump him out of the way if he did not move.

Chloe was sure that if she told Ryan of the man who was responsible for possibly killing his daughter, he would condone her plan, practically scream for Chloe to kill the son of a bitch.  
But she did not need another person to allow the actions she were about to take. This was her choice for once. Not Max’s. Not Ethan’s. The one time where she truly had control. And no one was allowed to take that from her. 

Alfred hovered a hand close to his face, his tendency of never being strict with Chloe never lost on him.   “Chloe, please” He let out as an offer to stop, but the aching feet of Chloe’s kept walking across the carpet floor, almost out. Almost free.

“HEY!” Ryan finally yelled when Chloe bumped him with her shoulder to get past him, and she felt it rising. The attempted rejection of her own life, the denial of being anything less than a human paragon. The weight of the dead, the people who died in the storm so Chloe could live, pushed her heart so far down that it sent a beat through her stomach that forced up images of every soul-crushing tragedy she had been a part of, and never could fix. And this tragedy had been the worst of all.  
  
“THAT’S IT!” Ryan yelled in anger, forcefully grabbing Chloe’s arm just before she could walk past him and stopped her in her tracks. Again. As she had been at the very beginning. As she had been at the mall. As she had been on the field.   
But she would no longer take it.  
Not this time.

With the anger she wanted to save for the kill, Chloe forcefully ripped herself free from Ryan’s grip while making a loud grunt. She flipped on her heels and took a step back while pulling out the gun she had in her pocket. Her feet were planted on the ground as she swiftly aimed the loaded gun straight at Max’s father with a glare that presented the scream of a wrecked girl.  
“BACK THE FUCK OFF!” A yell and a cry mixed in one quaking voice, Chloe took sharp breaths while her hands were shaking from tensing every muscle around the grip of the gun.

It was like a sudden thunder strike, where Ryan instinctively got into a frightened defensive position, holding his hands slightly out in head-height and drew his upper-body back. He yelled some curses through his teeth while his eyes were locked on the gun pointed at him.  
Alfred had reacted by shooting his eyes open and taking a step back that nearly made him stumble and fall, completely taken aback by Chloe’s threatening action.  
And Chloe meant for it to be threatening, but nothing more. She had to repeatedly yell inside her head:

_Don’t shoot! Don’t you fucking pull the trigger!_

But the voices were drowned out by the sheer intensity that had suddenly struck, and it short-circuited the wires in her brain, being only driven by the impulses in her body. Aware of this, Chloe made sure her finger was not on the trigger as a precaution, but her eyes could serve as the bullet as she frantically stared at Ryan, making sure he held the distance.  
He made sure to communicate his cooperation as well, showing his open palms clearly to Chloe and still pulling a little away from her. Never could he have imagined being in this situation, and it was the complete astonishment that made him stutter when he spoke.  
  
“O-Okay, I’m staying back” He made sure to obtain and maintain eye contact with Chloe, briefly analyzing her face; possibly assuming that she was on drugs in an attempt to somewhat logically explain her nonsensical behavior.  
“Chloe, I just- I’m not going to attack you. You’re in control, okay?” There was a layer of fear in his voice he attempted to hide underneath the reassurance, trying to speak calmly in the hope it would influence Chloe to do the same.   
“I just want to know if- if my daughter… if she’s… if- if Max is safe” Watching Ryan hunched over, fearing for his life because of Chloe, brought an eerie sensation to her stomach. A feeling that was broken up into pieces by the line between control and chaos and it made her shake her head once, to then anger her of having to be a messenger of sorrow. 

“Oh, that’s all you want to know? No, that is literally ALL you want to know?!” It hit how much there was to vocalize, how many stitches that had been sowed upon her mouth in this year alone. All she knew to then wanting to forget rolled around like a burning sphere in her body, every limp palpitating as a result.  
“Well, I can answer that!” It was purely the tarry fuel that made her display the gun more vigorously, as she was empty of everything else.  
“After having been tortured for the last couple of days and trying everything in her power to do the right thing, the world decided that she should suffer just a little more! If she’s not lying in an open field, surrounded by a pool of her own blood, then she’s probably in an ambulance, being rushed to the hospital for having an open bullet wound in her stomach!” She yelled it out for everyone to hear. For it was an incident everyone should be forced to listen to and then react, to then know what kind of world they were sharing.  
“She’s not fucking safe!” Chloe’s voice went shrill, feeling her own words punching her in the face. She felt a fault for the fear.

Ryan and Alfred both stood back, but only of them reacting. Alfred looked slightly to the side, keeping Chloe in his peripheral vision, seemingly more focused on the situation at hand than what was being said. Ryan, on the other hand, was completely still, his eyes never wavering, his heart barely beating. He slowly opened his mouth to whisper out his daughter’s name. If they were any heart left to tear in Chloe, she would have broken down in tears by the look on the father alone, but instead, it gave her a greater to desire to carry on.

“I don’t know where she is now, I don’t know how she is doing, but call St. Luke's Meridian Medical Center and check if she’s been admitted” The wavering in her body prompted her to slowly lower the gun but still making sure the command was not misinterpreted as a request. She had been scared to do it herself, scared where her mind might wander if she wasn’t there. Or if she was, but the hospital would hesitate to let her know how she was doing.  
Even the thought of it tensed her muscles to such an extent that she could feel the acid permeating. No one said a word, and it had begun to hurt to simply stand still. She glanced one last time at the anxious eyes on him, searching for something she could not read. Turning her head in irritation, Chloe finally put the gun back in her pocket but no breath of relief was heard. She took a step towards the door, knowing that Ryan wouldn’t hold her back this time.   
“If the police arrive, tell them I went to kill Ethan Kestal” It added pressure to say it. Made it a ‘do-or-die’ situation, so there would be no turning back, and she also wanted people to know. Wanted the wretched news to run the story of a revenge-murder at every station to get people talking about morality. People may not end up agreeing with Chloe, they may even go out of their way to assail her to fuel their own self-worth, but she did not care. They didn’t know.  
  
“Chloe, wait!” Alfred suddenly spoke up, instinctively stopping Chloe in her tracks as she let out a quiet grunt and ran her nails up her jeans in annoyance.  
“I can only imagine what you’ve been through, and I hate myself for not being more involved with your life, but please…” He took a step forward, now standing next to Ryan who stared blankly down at the floor.  
Alfred’s voice had turned soft as he hovered his right hand in front of his chest, quivering with a message.  
“I love you so much, and I see that you’re in pain. Every day I’ve wondered how you’ve been doing, but I never asked. Never really asked. And I’m so sorry. But I am here for you, Chloe. You don’t need to go through this alone” He wanted to come through once more, but no longer be afraid to step too close as he had been for so long. He wanted his granddaughter to not perceive his next words as advice, but as an endeavor to save her from more harm in the life he wanted to protect.  
“Please don’t chase revenge so far that you’ll never find your way back”  
His hand slowly began reaching out to the girl who stood still to hear his words but didn’t turn her head to watch her grandfather struggle not to sob out his plea.  
“Blood cannot be cleaned with more blood, Chloe” How frightened he sounded to fully lose the frail grab on his granddaughter, to let the world turn her into something he could not be proud of.  
“I know you’re angry, but I also know that you’re not a murderer. The man responsible will see justice by the hands of God when it’s time, I swear”  
All the talks they’ve had came back to him. All the exchanging words that helped shape Chloe in his eyes and let him know who she really was. He remembered how much he could soothe her by talking about God and heaven, to let her know that there would always be peace in the end.  
“God will look after you. He will look after Max” The twist in her ailing heart as she heard Alfred’s dulcet words speak so earnestly, made Chloe twitch her shoulders as if body desired for the chill to let her know of the life she was steps away from leaving behind.

She kept her footing, heard the creak of a promise and peeked inside. She allowed herself to feel, to make absolutely certain that she wanted to walk through the fire. But then it came to her mind, why there was fire to cross in the first place. Why was something needed to burn, just for God to prove some sort of point? Was it just a game to him? All the things that were allowed to happen to make her… what? Appreciate life? Appreciate death? And what about peace… She could only wonder why Max wasn’t allowed to have peace. The girl that needed it the most. The girl that she loved. She could only wonder why love eventually settled to be a curse.  
Only with a slight tilt of her head, she exhaled slowly and felt the warmth drawing her away, finally ready to see the light. 

“God can go fuck himself” Her tone was forbidding and she felt the chain loosening around her ankles. The weight of providence lifting from her shoulders. She was an individual. Not the bearer of souls without bodies, not a girl stuck in the circle of redemption. She was the person who took a step forward, squeezed the gun in her hand and walked out the door, only leaving a crestfallen silence behind.

  
…

  
Pound.  
Pound.  
Breath.  
Pause.  
Pound.

_No._

Pound.  
Pound.  
Breath.  
Pause.  
Pound.

_Don’t think._

Pound.  
Pound.  
Breath.  
Pause.  
Pause.  
Pound.

_Just keep running._

Pound.  
Pound.  
Breath.  
Pause.  
Breath.  
Pause.  
Pause.  
Pause.

_For fuck’s sake._

Chloe strikingly hunched over herself and supported her weight by placing her hands on her thighs, taking quick, cold breaths that hurt her throat, making her want to hold the air in her lungs. Her legs had endured over ten minutes of running with shifting pace, but the adrenaline could no longer carry her alone. She had no food in her system to expend the energy, no rest for the past days. It was a miracle she could move at all. But that miracle seemed to have ended as she felt sick to her stomach and sweat began permeating all over her body, with cold chills running through her.

In determination, Chloe looked up to see where she was. If she could form some kind of idea how close she was to Ethan’s house, but bright lights flashed in her vision, making it near impossible to see anything. It made her contemplate her decision to leave the car behind and run instead. It had made sense as the police would without a doubt be looking for her car on the streets, patrols probably already scouting the neighborhood. But now the cold-sweat, her beating heart, and every prolonged breath made the argument that she should have taken her chances. There was still a good distance to Ethan’s house, and if she stepped in one more puddle on the way, she would scream bloody murder. The rain had stopped, the effects still lingering.

_I’ll just have to distract my mind from how tired my body is.  
Change of plans then… think as much as you possibly can!_

The pause had ended, and with a blinding pain that explicitly told her body to stop killing itself, Chloe resumed running through the night.

_God, I feel sick. Alright.  
Think. Think about something relevant. Like, that fucking… fucking… wow. I can’t even think of one relevant thing._

Her thoughts seemed to scatter around, but never sticking to one part of her brain. And the difficulty of distracting herself made her conscious of her burning chest and cold fingers. It was like a rubber ball bouncing around in her head, she just had to wait for it to lose its momentum. 

_God, even though Ethan came fucking clean to me, there are still so many things I don’t know. And how the fuck does Tiffany fit into all of this shit?! It was her purse with the picture of Ethan’s daughter, but somehow it just doesn’t make sense that her part would be so minor if she truly is working with Ethan.  
The worst unknown, however, is the future._

Her motions slowly became automated, her vision only registering the passing streetlights with a set interval between them. 

 _Like… what the fuck am I supposed to do? God, it frightens me to even think one second ahead._  
_It actually scares the shit out of me… but… after… I can’t imagine what will happen after I kill Ethan._  
 _Why can’t I imagine it? Why do my thoughts stop when reaching that point?_

It became increasingly frustrating to be unable to think freely. As if her thoughts had reached a closed door. It was a similar feeling when someone would say ‘don’t think about a purple elephant’ and you’d be unable to think about anything else. Only now, it was the opposite. She was unable to think about the purple elephant.

_Why…_

It had stuck for too long, and once again her thoughts bounced to another place in her brain, but this time, she felt as if she had a vague control over the direction. 

_Why did I have to hurt grandpa?... He has been trying for so long to get on my good side, but I there’s so much shit I couldn’t tell him about my life, that he probably thinks I’ve been pushing him away. And I have.  
Those talks we’ve had… there’ve been too few. They were so nice. He is so nice. I don’t want to lose that, but…_

And as it became, the ball began settling where it so often did. In a place that, despite its frequent changes, would always be so familiar.  

_It’s not about my life. It’s about… It’s about Max._

And only with that name, did the burning chest, the cold fingers, the stinging feet, and the headache disappear her conscious mind for a moment.

_Max… fuck, I miss her so much. She was my… she is…_

She twitched her head and quickly shut her eyes closed.  
  
_Goddammit! Stop acting as if she’s dead! She’s not! Of course she’s not! She’s my best friend, she is the fucking love of my life, and the sweetest motherfucking person in the world. I’ll see her again, I’ll talk to her again, I’ll kiss her again. No matter what. It’s just something that has to happen. Something that will happen._

With her thoughts taking a careful and soothing turn, it, unfortunately, began making Chloe aware of her own body once more. She was still running, although her tempo had slowed due to necessity. Her vision had turned brighter, the feeling of stifling somehow temporarily absent. She was aware, but it felt different. More illusionistic. She truly did feel as if space around her was a bubble surrounding her. A bubble she wanted to pierce through to see what was on the other side.

_Fuck, my feet hurt. Max would tease me about that…_

_“It’s all those cigarettes, dude. They're killing your running cells.”_

_My running cells, really Max? Smoking is not as dangerous as it made up to be, I swear. It’s like… right, it gives a higher chance of lung cancer, but I’ll die of something either way when I’m like eighty. Could be lung cancer. Could be bear attack. And I’d rather go down on my own terms._

_“It’s not just the lungs. I’ve read that new studies suggest that it’s also could make you go deaf. Then what becomes of your music? No more headbanging.”_

_How would smoke hurt my ears? And stop reading those fucking… Buzzfeed articles._

_“It’s wasn’t Buzzfeed.”_

_Whatever. I bet that if you google ‘is smoking bad for…’ then the auto-suggest will fill out every possible thing. It’s a freaking war on smoking at this point. And how did the war on drugs turn out, huh, Max? They’re still… pretty damn easy to get a hold of. Like, as long as there’s demand, there will always be supply from someone. Americans, Mexicans, Greenlanddians._

_“Greenlandians is not a… not a word. But stop getting off topic! Smoking! Your sight, your smell. It can even cause erectile dysfunction.”_

_Yeah, that… that’s something I don’t worry too much about. Unless I go all out futa-mode._

_“What? What is futa?”_

_Alright. Less time on Buzzfeed for you, more time on weird porn sites._

_“Chloe, I just don’t want you to, you know… get sick. I want you to be around for… well, as long as I am around.”_

_Yeah, I get it. I want to be around you as well. Honestly, I’d rather die by being mauled by a bear, if we both get mauled._

_“You’re so romantic with your words and such.”_

_Thank you. What I am saying, though, is that… it’s pretty cool how I feel like you’re a part of my life, right? Like, it’s… I can’t think of a future without you. I know this is getting into ‘woah, moving way too fast’ territory since we’ve only been officially dating for… ehh… for a short time._

_“You don’t remember how long we’ve been dating? God, this is heading straight for you forgetting our anniversary and me being mad about it. You buying me a gift to say sorry, and me being unable to resist your cute face.”_

_Our anniversary of what? Of when we started to date?_

_“Eh, yeah. I mean… yeah. I’d like to think that maybe someday… it could be a different anniversary, I guess.”_

_We’re definitely moving into ‘woah, moving way too fast’ territory now._

_“Probably. But you’re the one who brought it up. Besides, I don’t really mind… talking about it.”_

_Yeah… me neither. I actually already bought the ring._

_“Shut up.”_

_Alright, alright. I haven’t bought a ring, but… I think I have some mints in my pocket or something? So… Max. Will you eat mints with me?_

_“Yes. A thousand times yes.”_

_And they lived happily ever after._

_“Oh. I think you’re here.”_

_What? Where?_

_“At Ethan’s house. Wasn’t that the whole reason you were running?”_

_I… yes. It was, but…_

_“You’re worried about the consequences?”_

_It’s not that. It’s just… if I walk in there… what will happen to you?_

_“I guess I’ll wait outside.”_

_I want us to do this together, though. Like partners._

_“Partners in crime, you mean?”_

_Yeah…_

_“It’ll be alright, Chloe. You go in there, do what you have to do, and I’ll be staying right here until you come back.”_

_You promise? You won’t leave?_

_“I would never leave you, Chloe.”_

_…Okay._

_“Okay.”_

_I… Thanks. I love you._

_“…”_  
  
She heard herself take a breath, the cold air quickly entering her mouth and filling her lungs. She was unsure of for how long she had been running and for how long she had stopped and stood still before the house. A house that knew it was special, demanding for Chloe’s heart to never cease to beat excruciatingly fast. Her feet stood on an empty road with no sidewalk, away from the suburbs, away from the city. It was a single nest of houses, and then nothing else alive. White bricks. Dark-brown roof tiles.

A drop of sweat unnoticeably traced the curves on her slim face and got stuck on the bottom of her chin.

It was a house- a home big enough for at least three people. The small window under the triangular shape of the facing roof suggested that there were two floors. She took notice of the red car sitting idly a little behind the house, which must have meant that Ethan was home.  
  
And then it struck her… she was actually standing in front of Ethan’s home. And there were no police around. No one to stand in her way, but her own inhibitions.  
So dark the night had chosen to become and so quiet the world stemmed. Only a dim reflection of the moon in the cloud-filled skies made her see the names plastered on the mailbox next to one of the doors.

Ethan Penn Kestal.  
Nora Jaqueline Kestal.

With Nora’s name having been partially removed, but not nearly as much as the third name underneath, which had been almost completely removed, with only small pieces of tape still visible.

She took a step closer, her heart not settling and every beat banging in her ears. A metallic taste spread across her tongue, the dry blood from her friend on her hand had wandered to become the blood on her teeth. There was no controlling her second step, for this was what it had all lead up to. She had sworn one too many times, and now the world was due for a result. With an icy hand, she reached down into her pocket and lifted up the gun. The promise of death had come too soon, but the certainty was here. Looking right at her.  
  
She took another step and could feel Max’s breath on her neck, the whisper in her ear. A tale of a free yesterday, a dreadful today, and a beautiful tomorrow. An assurance. A pledge. A vow.  A wound in her stomach that stretched as her eyes yearned for the daylight of tomorrow in the aftermath of the bloodshed of the night. The final night where the devil was allowed to breathe. Chloe’s revenge was here.  
  
And so she took another step.


	52. Revenge

Inside, soliciting for an end with the cold reaching her fingertips. The apprehension gave the room a sickly feeling, made the air thick and filled her lungs with presentiment. Chloe was standing in the living room, watching. Listening. Trying to get her body to react to any changes, any signs of movement. Her hand was on the gun, ready to shoot Ethan. He had to be in the house, for he had to face his death. He may have been hiding, but he was present. The pain in her chest screamed it.

The room hid details of itself in the dark, only showing the most obvious interior. A red couch, facing a TV. A plant in the corner. Pictures on the walls. Wooden floors. It was like any other home.  
  
A step on the carpet in the middle was stained by Chloe’s muddy shoes and she placed herself. To the left was the entrance to the kitchen. To the right, the stairs. Ethan was hiding somewhere. Waiting with panicked breaths and eyes staring up, and she could only wait to move her lips mutely as she heard the breathing. As she watched the stare. Then pull the trigger without as much as a word to prepare him.

With a blank mind, Chloe kept her dream grounded in reality and turned to the right to walk up the stairs. The floorboard creaked and gave away her position, but would simultaneously strike fear in the prey, so she welcomed the giveaway. The first step on the stairs she took made her black shirt slide along her sweaty back and it shrunk around her neck.

The air got lighter with every step as if she became more accustomed to the thought of the impending kill. More accustomed to fear. And so, as she reached the final step up the stairs, she allowed herself to take a deep breath through her nose and held it while looking around. The interior walls were all wooden, but it had seemed to rot a few places, almost making a line of rot to the right side of the hallway, which she followed with attentive steps. The first open door to her left called to her as if the very house itself wanted the owner gone. She stepped inside to see a room that some might call an office. But it was more than that. Despite her numb core, Chloe felt slightly staggered at the amount of loose papers and documents lying around. Four stacks on the table against the wall, ganging up on a PC in the middle, which could easily add up to six stacks if the papers on the ground were to be picked up. An office chair in front of the table indeed indicated that this was the place Ethan spent most of his time. Working. Scheming. Planning.

The moonlight shining through one of the windows illuminated the room just enough for Chloe to be able to find her bearings. While curling her fingers in her hand, she examined the work table and read a few lines of the documents lying around. It quickly proved itself to simply be related to his actual job as a psychologist, with patient’s names, a bunch of medical words that Chloe intentionally glossed over, and a few notes written in red pen at certain key points.

She continued to search with her eyes, not being able to tell what she was looking for or even hoping to find in the bundle of white squares. The PC was closed, presumably locked, so she skipped the effort of consideration. Her scanning eyes then fell onto a piece of paper that was different from the others, and she squinted as to make herself able to read the words printed onto the piece. The biggest letters were “CAR RENTAL” written in bold under a few smaller, less significant words. She took a step closer, caught with a cautious interest. As she saw the names of the cars and the prices printed next to them, her mind found its thoughts.  

_There’s like six cars here. Why would Ethan rent that many? Or even one. He has his own damn car._

She continued to read, the atmosphere expanding the constructed mystery.

_It says he only rented them for a day. The same date for each one. April 18th._

There was only one straight line to walk across, but she had to balance and so the walk was slow. Chloe opened up her eyes a little to release tension from her head.

 _Yeah. That’s the date we were at the mall. Where he ordered his not-brother-but-crazy-fucker to blow up_ _random cars._

Her face pulled a little to the side and her body soon followed along.

_Or I guess they weren’t that random. He really just blew up cars he rented?_

Afraid of what she might feel if she continued to stand on this stratagem, Chloe pressed her shoulders down and stretched her neck before turning her attention to the couch up against one of the walls. A green polyester couch with the legs making space between the bottom and the floor. Space enough for a grown man to hide under. 

Hovering her hand above the gun in her pocket, grazing the metal with her thumb, Chloe walked slowly towards the couch while bending down slightly. “I’m going to shoot if you don’t come out here and beg for mercy” She spoke as a lure, hoping to save herself the trouble from bending all the way down to look, which she eventually did in the absence of a response. Although it was dark, it became apparent that Ethan was not hiding underneath the couch, which brought Chloe right back on her feet with eyes closed hard to feel the pain that had centered behind her eyeballs.  
She slowly opened them again, to see a small book lying in solitary on top of the couch. It had no title, no author, and solely because of that, it enticed Chloe just enough for her to move closer and grab it. It was light-brown, thin and small, with notable damage on a few select spots. As she opened it up, the missing title and author on the cover became a solved mystery, as this thing in her hands was a notebook. Words scribbled around with a pen on the white pages. The lead gently reflected the moonlight from the window and highlighted a few words, which Chloe’s brain automatically read.

Max traveled three days back and returned at 11:20 PM. Her right hand was on her head, covering the right side of her face, looking down with notable pain. 

Day one. The package: Max got 2 out of 4 questions correct at approximately 11:15 AM. I gave Ted the link, and he uploaded it on Twitter at 9:22 AM, making sure Max and Chloe were the only one to see it. They opened up the link at 10:02 AM, with the belief of the link being public. 

The words she read went to her mind and she swirled them around for a while, like making a perfect soup, she got the temperature to rise and added a few ingredients to the mix. She then let it sit.

_So the link on Twitter wasn’t even published? He never intended to publish personal information and records about us?_

Before her thoughts could wander any further, she blocked them off and put on the lid.

_Bullshit. I  got at least a dozen of strangers who wrote to me on Skype, saying they wanted answers and threatened Max BECAUSE they got a hold of the information that she destroyed Arcadia Bay. We got those only moments before he came into my house and pulled a gun on Alfred. So fuck you, words._

She gently asked herself not to care, and she believed that she didn’t, but it was an uncontrollable cogitation that urged her to keep her eyes open for a little longer. 

_Unless…_

Keeping the notebook open in her hand, Chloe retraced her steps back to the table and gave a second glance at the black PC lying silently in the middle. Two devices were inserted into the USB port. One cable and the other… the other was a portable Wi-Fi device. A little green light flashing under the white plastic. It looked disconcertingly similar to the one Ted had brought with him when they were driving around, searching for Chloe after Max had freaked out about Chloe mentioning something about suicide. And it very well could be. It most likely meant that he had used the PC recently, outside of a place with Wi-Fi.  
She reached her free hand down and touched the surface. It was relatively cold.  
Perhaps he had been using it in a car.

_So maybe all those messages from strangers, was just Ethan… to keep up the pretense of the information having gone public?_

She slowly curled her fist.

_Whatever. The intention is worse than the outcome. It’s not like the fucking news channel would say “BREAKING NEWS: Local douchebag, Ethan, has tried to trick two girls. Might do it again in the future. Also sucks cocks on a daily basis.” So don’t let this shit get to you._

With a rough scoff, Chloe made sure her urges were kept in place. She made sure that words, thoughts, and information, could not erase the burnt picture of Max screaming in pain that was so marked in her brain. Her attention went back to the notebook in her hand, but she made sure to distance herself from compassion and forgiveness. 

Ted borrowed Joanna’s purse and gave it to Tiffany with Cecilie’s picture in it. She suspects nothing. At 01:45 AM, Ted made sure to get the purse back and then making it seem as if Tiffany forgot it in Chloe’s car. 

It seemed almost too convenient that Tiffany’s name would pop up like that, explaining what Ethan avoided to do in just a few sentences. ‘She suspects nothing’. Those elucidating words suggested that Tiffany had not been involved with any of the events, at least not purposefully, and that she was not working with Ethan. But again, it was too convenient. For all Chloe knew, Ethan intended for her to read this notebook at some point in order to mislead her. For all she knew, Tiffany could be standing right behind her with a gun pointed at her head. The thought tickled her neck, but she would welcome a bullet before letting her mind get the better of her. In mild annoyance, Chloe flipped a few pages and stopped when she saw a mention of her own name.  

Current diagnosis:   
Chloe – Panic Disorder. Survivor guilt. Insomnia. Varying Hyperthermia. Possibly hallucinations.     
Chloe responds aggressively to mentions of her parents. She wanted them to be proud of her.  
She has turned to Christianity due to fear and a meaning for her survival.

Max – GAD. Mild Agoraphobia. Mental self-harm. Stress response syndrome. Dissociative disorder. Severe depression (4/19).   
Max is doubting whether or not she made the right choice when she saved Chloe. (EXPLOIT THIS).  
Doesn’t know loss the same way Chloe does and is generally more stable.

Max and Chloe are in a relationship. Unsure of for how long. Been friends since childhood. 

4/19: Max and Chloe’s relationship is crumbling under the fear and stress. Will presumably make Max more likely to change her mind about saving Chloe. However, Chloe wants them to stay together no matter what, as she feels her survival would have been for nothing if they part. 

Her hands tightened around the book, the analytical words that seemed so proud of themselves provoking every part of her body. As if she and Max were nothing but freaks to be diagnosed. Nothing but moves to predict. It was all bullshit. Whether a truth or a lie, it was not something to be looked upon with such benighted eyes and then spoken with such certainty.  
She flipped the pages yet again only to add to her hate. To make her fingers shake in the urge to kill.  
The last words she could find in the notebook were in bold. Big letters with a shivering hand tracing the lines of words that he must have shouted.

YOU ARE DOING THIS NOT ONLY FOR YOU DAUGHTER BUT FOR THE LIVES OF MANY INNOCENTS! 

THEIR SELFISH FRIENDSHIP SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO DECIDE THE FATE OF OTHERS. PEOPLE DIED. THEY HAD FRIENDSHIPS TOO. THEY HAD FAMILIES. DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF. DO NOT HATE YOURSELF. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. 

Then a wide space. A pause. A moment of consideration.

BUT DO NOT KILL THEM! NO MATTER WHAT!!! 

Chloe snickered at the words. Her eyes fell upon the exclamation marks and the snicker turned into a giggle. “Do not kill them”. Her breaths followed each other in quick succession, nearly laughing.

_Oh, you must be heartbroken then, Ethan. Because guess what?_

She shook her head and closed the notebook.

_You did kill us._

Taking a step back, her smile persisted on her curved lips as she threw the book back onto the couch.   
She stood around for a little longer, dreading the fact that she didn’t bring her phone. She wanted so badly to call Alfred and check if they got in contact with the hospital. To know if she should give up on clutching her heart in fear of it bursting.  
A board underneath her creaked as she turned, but the sound was distant. Her feet planted themselves and her breath was held to observe the silence. The creaking wasn’t underneath her. It came from another room.

Her feet lifted from the ground automatically as she pulled the gun out from her pocket and held it with both hands by her side and proceeded to take swift, quiet steps towards the location of the sound.  
With her heart finally beating in her sore chest, Chloe was back in the hallway, already passing the framed pictures on the walls and saw a slightly opened door at the end with light she could have sworn wasn’t there before, shining out as a temptation to enter. And she took that temptation and did not hesitate to open the door with a push of her shoulder. The gun was immediately raised but a quick scan of the room showed that there was nothing to aim at. Unless she had a burning desire to massacre a teddy bear with bullet holes. At first thought, it was an odd object she had taken notice of, but a second glance at the room proved that it was indeed suitable. The walls were painted a bright green with colorful drawings hanging from them. Against the far wall stood a tidy bed that was not nearly large enough for a person like Chloe to fit in. The sheets were pink, the three pillows red, blue, and yellow. The source of the light she had seen from outside seemed to be the small festoon hanging above the bed.  
It didn’t take long for Chloe to collect the flashing dots to tell that this was Cecilie’s room. Ethan’s daughter. An assortment of stuffed animals was gathered like a mountain in the corner next to a bookshelf that was presumably filled with children’s books.

The air was colder in here, cold enough for Chloe to tense her muscles, to then shake her arms. It was like a breath that whispered demise. Her finger was held firmly around the trigger of the gun as she stopped breathing when turning her body slowly around. Her eyes caught a book lying flat on the ground, splayed open like a dead body. Unmoving, but placed.

“I know what you’re doing, Ethan” Chloe whispered to her own vigilant ears as she took a step closer to the book. “Trying to get into my head. Fuck with my thoughts- manipulate me” the pages the book showed were partially filled with cloddish words that went above and under the ruling lines. “But there is nothing to save you. No one. Everyone has left you. Ted is in jail. Your wife divorced you. Your daughter is dead”  
She put her foot on the open book.  “For good”  
Dug her heels into the pages and twisted it around.  
“So keep your prayers silent” For she could tell what the book actually was.   
“And let me murder you” It was Cecilie’s diary. 

The page got torn under her boots and she only stopped when the wounds on her feet began hurting.  
Another step forward, her eyes glanced left and right, left and right. Her breath got shaky because she felt it. The atmosphere of another. The tension of peril. The temptation. Then silence.  
And a sound came from behind her.

Chloe quickly flung herself around and before even getting a visual, pulled down on the trigger hard and shut her eyes close. No bang, just a click. So she pulled the trigger again. Click. Click. Click.  
Her eyes were shot open but there was nothing in front of her but a painted wall. Her heart was thumping as she panicky flipped the gun to the side in the absence of triggered bullets. The safety was on.

_The fucking safety is on._

Her feet stood still for a moment, but her body began trembling. Then shaking. Shaking so much the gun fell from her hands as she felt her thoughts leaving her to leave the damaged past behind. A pain impossible to get accustomed to.  
  
Panic.  
  
Panic because the trigger was pulled and she felt herself change without even firing a bullet. Without even killing a person. Simply the thought that appeared in the fraction of a second, was enough to bring her to her knees in a growl.

Her open mouth took as much air into the lungs as it could manage, and whatever liquid she had left in her body was used to make her palms sweaty. She would yell. She wanted to curse. Fuck, shit, bitch, crap, god-fucking-dammit. She wanted to yell it all out. Her body wouldn’t have it. It was done. It had been under pressure for too long and it broke. Down on her knees, all she could move were her eyes that had fallen upon the open book she had stepped on. 

9th September 2013.   
I stay up late today. Daddy let me watch a movie with him and mommy. It was booooring. Just old people talking. Not even animated. NO ANIMALS! At least we eat popcorn. Daddy put some extra salt on mine because I like it that way. Mommy told him “No more salt!” so I didn’t eat more popcorn. Mommy went to bed and daddy stayed with me to finish the movie. It got funny when he started doing voices like zombies. He think it was boring too. He read me a book about fairies again. I think he really likes fairies.

Her heart fell in synch with the rapid blinking of her soggy eyes. She heard the voice of the written words in her head. A little girl’s thoughts written down in a diary. Just like Max’s notebook.

23rd September 2013.   
I am in my room. I don’t wanna go downstairs because mommy is yelling.

Daddy came up to my room and said sorry for the noise. He was sad but told me he love me. I love him too! And mommy! I don’t like when they yell. Sometimes they say my name when they think I can’t hear them. I don’t like it. Are they yelling because of me? Maybe I did something bad… maybe it was because I gave some of my food to Molly. I won’t do that again. 

Eyes stared at her neck as if the ghost of the girl were looking down on her. Chloe remembered seeing her face in the picture that had been in Tiffany’s purse. A young girl with brown hair down to her shoulders and a cryptic smile.

9th October 2013.  
I am going to grandpas tomorrow. I don’t want to. I want to stay here in my room and play. All my plushies say they will miss me. I will miss them too. And mommy and daddy. Maybe they are sending me away because I did something bad. I’m sorry.

The voice kept going, but it transformed. Changed in pitch to match that of her own voice, and now she felt so endlessly small in such an endlessly big world. A little girl. Thoughts and visions extant.  
It made her think of her own father. The person she used to call “daddy”. There was so much love in those days, and so much willingness to care and protect. It made her wonder that if someone killed Chloe when she was just a little girl, what lengths would her father go to, to get the person responsible? How far would desperation take a shattered heart?

10th October 2013.  
I’m with grandpa now. He said we should go for a walk to see Arcadia Bay. I don’t want to but my room smells so I just went to the backyard. I saw two moons in the sky. It was pretty.

The hair on her neck rose when tears had found their home on the trail of her cheek as she read the words like a story with an end she already knew. An end she was responsible for.

10th October 2013.    
Grandpa is watching the news all the time. He gave me some candy. Yum.  
Daddy called to ask if I was okay. I am not okay. I want to go home to mommy and daddy. There are dead birds here. I want to go home.

She fell silent while a muffled howling noise passed her ears, but the words spoke louder than any sound and in her head, she kept her voice. To sharpen the knife she held so dearly to her gut when she continued reading.

11th October 2013.  
It’s raining so much. The people on the news are yelling. I’m scared. Grandpa looks scared too. Daddy will take me home tomorrow. I miss him. 

And that was the last line. The last sentence. The very last thoughts the little girl were able to write down, before being killed by such a violent storm. It had been a life gone to protect another. But it wasn’t just the one. She could now not only feel one set of eyes watching her, but hundreds of wet eyes judging her. All the people who died in the storm so Chloe could be spared of her own cruel fate. Some were consoling her. “It’s okay” a spirit would whisper. Some were screaming. “I had a family! I had loved ones as well!” they yelled.

The howling noise returned, less strangled than before. It gradually took Chloe out of her drowsy state, and slowly dragged her into the future world, where even the tools to fix were broken. Still down on her knees, Chloe wiped her cheeks to rid the tears and took a purposive breath. The sound was louder than she thought when she was dragged back from out of her head. In this little girl’s room, she could hear sirens coming from outside. Getting nearer by each second, telling her to hurry up, but freezing her body in the process. Her thoughts gathered too quickly to become comprehensible. Just in a few seconds, the police would be here to arrest Chloe for a murder that she did not want to be marked with 'attempted'. She had to act quickly, but a sting held her back. A dissonance between the image of Max that brought upon rage, and the image of herself that brought upon heartache, for she could no longer recognize herself.

Her heart made another thumb, but it was a reaction. A single footstep came from behind her, making her turn her head quickly to see the figure of a man, prompting her to sever her restrains, shut down her thoughts for a second and react.  
Chloe quickly grabbed her gun and jumped up to her feet while turning, her muscles burning when she grasped the grip and pointed the gun at the figure that now had become clear.   
Her heart beat in her chest as she quickly flipped the safety off with her thumb.  
The hair on her neck rose.  
The air around her clinging to her skin. 

Ethan stood only ten feet in front of Chloe. And he just stood there with such a serene look on his pale face with his arms down his side. His eyes were red, his mouth half-open. The look he gave Chloe was so still, almost awaiting. He swallowed thickly while allowing a tear to escape down his cheek as his lips trembled when he whispered, “Chloe, please…” he did not move. He didn’t even seem to acknowledge the gun pointed at him, but only kept looking directly at Chloe.  
  
And Chloe looked back with a stiff finger on the trigger of the gun.  
  
And what she saw on the man’s face, for the first time, was not the face of a psychotic monster.  
  
But instead, the face of a desperate father.

  
  
And then she pulled the trigger.

  
A bullet escaped the barrel with the scream that Chloe couldn’t muster. A flash of light as she blinked that unveiled everything for just a split-second, the look of shock in his eyes, the shockwave of anger she wished would have never been, the frightening satisfaction stemming for a dark place. All before the bullet made impact with Ethan and pierced through his face. A splatter of blood immediately bursting from behind his head and hitting the green wall behind him. Time moved so painfully slow, forcing Chloe to perceive every detail of her actions, as a mixture of stupor and desire forced her to keep her eyes open. Ethan’s neck drooped backward as his body went limp. The wail of the shot muted the sound of his body falling against the back wall, before sliding down on the ground.

Her hand fell down her body as her legs went weak. Chloe watched the mutilated face of Ethan. His limp body against his daughter’s wall. He was finally dead.  
Chloe uttered a gasp but the air never went down her lungs. Her eyes were red with tears flowing down her face and her skin crawled. It was done. It was over.

A rummaged sounded from inside the house as officers had run inside following the gunshot. They passed yells around, but Chloe caught nothing in her hear but the ongoing sirens. Her legs finally gave away, and she fell to her knees while whimpering. Everything hurt but her mind was truly blank. It didn’t feel real. The smell of blood, the sounds of the police running up the stairs, the sight of a life she had taken, and the feeling of her evanescing self. No one to remind her of who she was. So nothing was real.

“LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS!” Someone yelled from outside the door, just a few feet from Ethan’s body.  
They all stood outside with their hearts pumping adrenaline through their bodies. They could have kicked in the door but knew she still had the gun. The gun she had already used, and so they feared what she would do.

But what would she do?  
  
Down on her knees, with death hanging above her. One more death holding her down. One amongst hundreds. Just enough to push her over the edge. And now she was falling. Only waiting to hit the ground. Only one place she wanted to land. One place she could finally find peace.

The police outside were waiting for her to say something. Anything. To give them some sort of go-ahead.  
But her words were drowned out by the whine and so, with a shaking hand, Chloe pulled the warm gun back up, her eyes unblinking, unchanging. Her finger was on the trigger as she aimed the barrel of the gun against her own temple. 

  
And then they heard her speak.

  
“CAN I STILL GET INTO HEAVEN IF I KILL MYSELF?!” She pressed the gun against the side of her head as the smothering air surrounded her.  
“WILL I BE SENT TO HELL?! CAN I EVER BE FORGIVEN?!” She cried out in despair.  
“CAN I SEE MY PARENTS AGAIN?! CAN I SEE MAX?! IS SHE THERE?!” The name that was yelled out made her eyes twitch.   
“CAN I SEE THEM ALL AGAIN IF I KILL MYSELF?!” 

The excessive air from her hyperventilation made her dizzy and she felt the finger slowly falling down on the trigger. Another gasp and all the heat went up to her head, pushing the veins against her skin.  
The intense fear she created burst in her stomach as the door was kicked open, sending small pieces of wood flying across the room as several beams of light entered. She was blinded by the light and deafened by the shouts. One last thrust of her poor heart to decide. One last tear to show the world what it had done. One last scream to show the world what she had done.  
One last memory of Max daring to show itself in her mind as a goddamn joke.

And then… with Max’s smiling face being the only thing visible in the array of light, Chloe dropped the gun from her hands. Letting it drop to the wooden floor as she closed her eyes in frustration of her own cowardice. In a living nightmare surging with fear; it was that exact same fear that kept her here. Kept her alive.

She barely felt it when one of the officers pushed her from behind and pinned her to the ground on her stomach. Her whole universe persisted of only a paralyzing breath that numbed her from the inside out as handcuffs were forcefully locked on her wrists. Even though her heart continued to beat, she still felt dead, for she did not feel, did not perceive, did not care, when she was lifted up from the ground and carried out of the room, past Ethan’s dead body and past all the dismayed police officers.

The present, immutable, the future, corrupt. It left her with only being able to handle to think about the past. Her mom. Her dad. David. Rachel. All those people eventually lost. Now herself. Everyone in her life, now gone. It would only make sense, would only stand to reason that Max was amongst them. She was left with thinking about how her own choices had led her here, and how she could have prevented losing them all.  
She had the chance. For every single one.

But despite that hope had come and gone, slammed the door loudly behind her to show off its anger, she was still alive, yelling through the door, calling out the unfairness. Showing hope and fate that it had betrayed her. How was it fair to anyone that this would be the end for her?

She had tried.

But Chloe was ultimately right. This was not a world where she and Max could sit back with smiles on their lips and have the past be a foregone memory and nothing else.

This was a world that punished a girl because she tried.

Because she had failed to live up to the unfair expectations.

Because she sought justice in an unjust life. 

Because she dared to show her tears.

Because her heart could only stand the force for so long. 

Just because she fell in love.   

 

But she could feel it on her face. The way her lips were stretched in a smile that changed the path of her tears.  
She felt free. Loose from the shackles that had kept her close to her fears. Free to wander in a place she belonged. Despite being in handcuffs and forcefully escorted to a police car with blood on her hands, she finally felt like her own person. Not a hollowed out tree to home the lost, but the bird that leaps from the branch and flies to the sun without the fear of getting burned.  
  
“Look at what I did” She whispered with a smile in the ear of the officer carrying her.  
“Look at what I am capable of” She chuckled with the flash of red and blue in her eyes.  
“Aren’t you proud of me?” One last taste of the salt from the tears on her lips, and then she stopped.    
She was all out of things to cry about.


	53. With You

She dragged the stick across the ground once more, drawing the first letter. “J”.  
The grass made it difficult to see even though she used enough force for the stick to nearly break. Looking to her right, she peeked at the shirt she had taken off before sitting down in the comfort of the warm sun, casting its last beams on her from behind the sea. It gave her a sense of vertigo to be up so high near a cliff, but she had told herself to endure it since it was mostly her own idea. The critters had gone silent, perhaps having been killed by the crickets so they could have their moment in their spotlight with their characteristic chirping. Signaling to anyone around that it was becoming nighttime. As if they were praising the arrival of the moon with the sound of their people.

It was fortunately still warm enough for her not having to resort going back into the small, yellow tent behind her. Not that it exactly was a sauna in there either, which she had discovered the previous night. The trees, however, were doing a fantastic job at keeping most of the evening wind at bay, but it was a like being slapped by a famous person. Even though it was neat, it still hurt, because the trees, with their wind-blocking abilities, did still give her a mild sense of claustrophobia. Furthermore, though the camping spot was in and of itself in an open space, it was still in a forest. And no forest without trees. Unless it was a shrub forest of some kind.

Beginning to draw the next letter with her trusty stick, she closed her eyes when a spinning sensation made her stomach turn. And with no visual distraction, she allowed her mind to wander. Playing a past event in her head. An event she had found her mind often coming back to when she was alone. And it was always exactly the same.

…

“Hey, there you go! Rachel left a bunch of clothes with me… She’s your size” I told her as she opened the closet, lying lazily in my bed with one hand on my head. It was such a beautiful morning, the beams from the sun lighting up my room in a way that captivated the atmosphere.

Max looked back at me with her lips locked in the smile I came to know so well.  
“But not quite my style” She chuckled lightly while I lifted myself up from the bed, thinking I should probably get dressed soon as well. We were both in our underwear with our shirts on, and we both felt comfortable. We were just hanging out, ignorant of the concerns we should have had.

“Max, you don’t have a style yet. At least give it a try” I walked over to her, presenting to her my sassy saunter. “You can always rewind back to your chlorine brand T-shirt and generic jeans” And even though I was still wrapping my head around the whole-time travel deal, I didn’t get a chance to worry. She didn’t let me.

“You suck. I like my shirt and jeans…” She went from a laugh to a cute little whine.  
“but it would be cool to try on Rachel’s clothes, just to see if they fit” I stood before her and listened attentively– attentively enough to disentangle how she coated her desire to wear the clothes in a paltry complaint.

It was always like that with her. She always had to contemplate her own existence and the meaning of life before making even the smallest of decisions. “Stop second-guessing yourself, Max!” I added a sparkle to my eyes while I gently pushed her with a practiced smile, hoping she’d notice my hotness despite having just woken up. For I certainly noticed hers.  
“Put this on and let your inner punk-girl come out!” As I spoke, I found it increasingly difficult to keep up the spunky attitude I had become famous for. I glanced down Max’s body and quickly back up, hoping she didn’t notice, while secretly hoping she did notice.  
“You can afford to take chances!” I moved my body around like my very limbs were made of Jell-O. I became restless. Nervous. I backed myself into a corner while watching Max’s anticipating, yet patient face.  
“Whenever and whatever you want to try…” And yes, I wanted to jump out of the window following that sentence, because there was no backing down now. I kept telling myself I was joking. That we were both fully aware that the next words out of my mouth would be a hilarious joke.  
“for example, I dare you to kiss me!” I pulled my body into a confident stance, or rather, I believe my heart thrust so hard in my chest that it stiffened my limbs.

“What?” And again, yes, I did want to set myself on fire when Max let out this word of surprise with a fading smile. I forced myself to pull the corner of my lips as far up to my ears I could as I went silent, as the joke clearly didn’t land. Even though it wasn’t much of a joke… more of a humoristic gimmick.

Well, I had to save it somehow now. I quickly thought about blurting out some words in a random order and hope it formed a sentence that could ward off the awkwardness I had managed to create.

However, just as I felt myself shutting down and the option to just kick Max and run away in a panic became increasingly enticing, I saw her moving in closer, placing her right hand on my shoulder, her other on the side of my face. She closed her eyes. Oh God, she closed her eyes.

In sheer stupefaction, I shut my eyes and felt a surging tinkle down my spine as Max actually did place her lips against mine, which instantly made me stumble backward. It was like asking for a million dollars, and then just get dollar bills smashed in your face. Unexpected and quite startling.

I pulled my hand up to my face as I saw Max lingering with her arms, her expression probably less… flabbergasted than mine. She just watched me. I didn’t know if we were still joking around, and Max certainly had taken it to the next level if so, but I couldn’t find it in my head to do anything but play it safe.

“Damn, you’re hardcore, Max!” I chuckled nervously with an equally nervous smile.  
“Now I can text Warren and tell him he doesn’t stand a chance…” I gave an over-the-shoulder look at Max as I turned around, watched her attentive face, waiting for just a fraction of a smile. For her to give me something! And I think I saw it the second I turned around, which made my confidence breathe under the awkwardness once again.  
“unless he’s into girl-on-girl action” Good thing I had turned around because I firmly believed that my face pulled the expression as if I had just bitten down in a sour lemon and then proceeded to hit myself in the face with a shovel.

I just kept wondering what Max was thinking. I’d like to say that I meant nothing by what I said, but at the time, I didn’t really think that she was into girls. And neither was I fully confident that she knew I was.

 

I remember my heart settled ever so slightly, though, as I heard her snickering voice behind me.

“You are such a dork” she spoke as I went back into my bed. Actually feeling happy.

Oblivious to the fact that that kiss would be my first of many with that girl.

…

Chloe looked down on the second and third letter she had drawn in the ground amidst her stupor. “US”.

She took a deep breath in hopes of the chill air soothing her heart that had been demanding abundant attention after the events. Her red duffle jacket was doing a decent job at keeping her somewhat warm, though. She had grabbed it impulsively, thinking her dark-purple shirt would have been enough at this time of the year, but now feeling glad she had some extra layers. 

With a sigh she deliberately exaggerated, Chloe flipped her head to remove the bangs that had fallen over her eyes and reached down to take her boots off. It was not exactly outdoor boots, but with the mild terrain, it had worked just fine, although they had become quite muddied.  She took her socks off in the process and proceeded to examine the underside of her left foot. The wounds she had gotten from stepping and jumping on broken glass had mostly healed by now. The nurses luckily explained that she didn’t need stitches of any kind and that she should focus on eating and sleeping. 2 fruits, 4 vegetables per day. At least 7 hours of a sleep a night.

The whole vegetable thing had been doable, not a trip to Funland, but luckily she had a human reminder. The sleeping ordeal had been more of a challenge. Anything above 4 hours would be considered a success in her mind. It had been months after all, so the anxiety– although present daily– was not crippling her as much as it had shown to be capable of. Even being away from home was a big deal. But she had to keep her promise.

“Alright. Squirrels…” A growling noise came through from the trees.  
“Should all go die” At the wish of extermination, Chloe turned her head and gave a comforting smile.

“You didn’t get any pics?” She chuckled while putting her socks and boots back on, giving the distraught girl a sympathetic look.  
  
“Oh, I got pics” The girl spoke as she took sloppy steps across the grass towards Chloe.  
“Of trees with a brown smudge across it, faintly looking like dumb squirrels” A roll of the eyes to swerve around in defeat. She tugged a little on the black scarf she was wearing around her neck while letting the camera in her hand dangle down the length of her body.  
“They’re so damn fast” Proceeding the snarl, Chloe scooted to the side to allow the girl to sit on her spot where the grass was warm. And to avoid being sat on by an angry girl.  
“Guess I could just sell the pictures and call it impressionistic art” Pulling her shoulders back to stretch her back, she eventually took the generous offer and sat down next to Chloe who watched Max place the digital camera next to her hip. She smiled when she saw that her friend had been using the Graduated Neutral Density Filter that Chloe had gifted her on the camera, even though it evidently hadn’t worked against the pesky squirrels.

“I told ya’, Max. You gotta sneak up on them and then take the picture” Mimicking her friend’s sitting pose, Chloe crossed her legs before gently placing a hand on Max’s back and stroking it tenderly.  
“Like Bigfoot” She slowly moved her thump up to her neck and added slight pressure to massage the clearly stressed photographer.  
“Or a really hot girl that hasn’t given you consent” Her gaze pivoted back the horizon with the sun saying its last goodbyes to the day.  
  
Which apparently gave Max the opportunity to discreetly pull the camera up from her hip and snap a picture of Chloe. 

“Did it” Max nodded to herself with a shy smile before looking at the prize-winning photo she had just taken.

Chloe giggled in response while moving her hand along her friend’s back and leaning closer to rest her head on her shoulder. “Nice” She let out breathily.  

“Now I just need to find a really hot girl” Max muttered quietly with her attention still being held hostage by the photo.

Raising an eyebrow to indicate her confusion, Chloe shuffled a little in her position as she noticed she had been sitting on the stick. “Well, I thought– wait, I was Bigfoot in that scenario?” She questioned, offended in the realization. 

Max let out a chiming laugh that sounded so sweet to Chloe’s ears. “Yeah. Like, your hair is all long and brown. The fur should come any day now” As she said this, Max took a lock of Chloe’s hair between her fingers and twirled it around.

“Dying my hair blue was for my 19-year old angst phase. To rage against the system and make authorities gasp into their hands so hard they’ll swallow them” A hand was brought up to her mouth to insinuate what authorities should fear to lose.  
“Besides, it was a bitch to keep up that Sailor Mercury hair”  
She refrained from saying that she missed her unique hairstyle, as in truth, she didn’t. It was nice to have this medium layered shaggy hair, with the side-swept bangs that were still somewhat reminiscent of anarchism. She looked different because she felt different.

“Probably wouldn’t have helped in court either. Showing up with blue hair, spiked bracelets and a shirt that says ‘FUCK THE LAW’ in bold letters on the chest…” Max turned her head to catch the scent of Chloe’s hair, presenting the soft lemony, tea tree aroma, to either lure potential mates, or scare off predators.

“I guess, yeah” She responded absentmindedly while stroking her hand down from her friend’s neck to the bottom of her back.  
“It’s getting a little chilly. Wanna head inside the tent?” Feeling slightly apprehensive, she requested to retreat into their small tent, not for comfort, but mostly because she felt an uncertain struggle to come up with something to say.

However, Max hesitated for a moment, looking down on herself. “In a sec” She eventually responded before tugging a little on her brown leather jacket.  

And then silence ensued. Which normally wouldn’t have been a problem. Silence between them wasn’t usually an indicator of a lack of conversation topics, but just a quiet moment to enjoy. Though, this time, from Chloe’s prospect, it was a moment of timorousness. 

“So how did it actually go?” Max questioned after taking a single heavy breath and giving Chloe’s head on her shoulder a little peck to indicate that she was about to move. 

“Hm?” Lifting her head from the otherwise comfortable resting place, Chloe stretched her neck and watched Max doing the same with her legs and lying down on her elbows.

“I mean… what you did…” There was a clear hesitation in her voice as she dusted herself off.  
“How did you escape prison time?” When she asked, a slight tingle went down Chloe’s spine; having preferred if they could talk about hair instead, as she had wanted to comment on Max’s absurd life-choice to keep her hair the way it had been for so long. She had barely changed a single thing about herself through all this time.  
“I know you sort of proved that it was justifiable homicide since Ethan was a threat to you and others, but just letting you free?” Her questions made sense, Chloe knew she would have asked the same as well.  
“I mean, I’m glad! But…” But the answer was a little trickier.

“Yeah, it was a struck of gold amidst a pile of shit” The creases on her forehead became apparent when she curved her eyebrows to make an expression as she reached for the stick next to her.  
“They weren’t too keen on sharing the details, and I weren’t too keen on asking for it, but apparently they went through Ethan’s home with a fine tooth-comb and found some documents or papers” She spoke quick as to not let her mind process the words first as she didn’t want to think about how lucky she had gotten, and as such, began distracting herself by continuing to write with the stick on the ground before her.  
“It was a confession, I guess. One in which he specifically said that if he was killed by either one of us, it would be because of self-defense, and we should be absolved of the blame”  
She repeated the word she wanted to write over in her head, saying it louder when she mentioned his name. “T” was the next letter she wrote. 

While thinking, Max played a little with the grass between her fingers. Most likely not finding it as soft as Chloe’s hair.  
“Really? Just like that?” She eventually responded, narrowing her eyes and shaking her head slightly.

“I mean, it probably helped” Chloe dropped the stick again, to lift her hands up as if she was throwing concern away.

“But that’s not… I can’t imagine that’s how it works. Even killing a person that asks for it is against the law” Although understandable, Chloe felt her face tighten when Max continued to dig deeper.

“I don’t know…” Replacing some of the air before speaking, she decided to avoid it altogether.  
“Let’s… let’s talk about something else. It’s giving me the anxie-tey-tey” She took a hand to her legs and began picking at a slash in her jeans, well-aware of her peculiar choice of words. It was mostly to ward off the potential seriousness of the conversation, but she had found that saying “anxie-tey-tey” made the otherwise triggering word, a little more fun. 

“Oh, sorry” Her voice was quiet, her following pause reaching for retreat.

Chloe saw the approaching cumbersome atmosphere and chose to kick it away, the best way she knew how.  
“No worries. Let’s just talk about something that makes you uncomfortable instead”  
She joked as she turned half-way, scooted a little closer towards Max, and lied down as well with her head on Max’s lap.

Max held in a chuckle and made her face go into a stern expression before speaking.  
“Like, how it felt like staying in a hospital for so many days, never knowing when or if I’d go home? The thought of having a bullet inside of me that they needed to cut out of me, by opening up my stomach? The fear of something going wrong and dying right on the operation table?!”  
Her increasing volume halted everything for a moment. She waited…  
“It was a’ight” Max followed up with a voice that drastically went from dour to happy-go-lucky, instantly creating a few laughs from Chloe that made Max’s stomach wobble, making her laugh along.

Chloe could only feel grateful that they were able to avoid all the melancholy, and simply joke their way out of it.

“It’s mostly a daze with all the drugs and excessive sleeping” Max admitted when her laughter began dying down.

“…I miss my teenage years” It was a mumble of weird contextual words from the pensive girl that Max made a great effort to ignore.

“Yeah, so… I just remember getting shot, going into hypovolemic shock, and then lying down in a hospital bed with my dad next to me” Max took a deep breath.  
“Just him” And then let it out.  
“No one else” She stretched the words slightly in a teasing way for the insinuation to come across.

Something Chloe immediately picked up on and turned her head to look at Max with her closed eyes and a stilted expression, presenting disappointment.

“Are you seriously going to guilt trip me on this one?” She curved her eyebrows in such a way that showed the level of which she was not impressed, but couldn’t help but to leave a small smirk on her lips. 

Yet, Max continued, only needing bad lighting to complete the look of a melodramatic soap opera actor. “Not even the girl who said I was the love of her life could take five minutes out of her day to visit poor, poor me” And it was annoying as all hell that Max was so perfect at pulling off the ‘damsel in distress’ voice.

“Are we doing this? I was, like… in custody, dude” Chloe bounced her head around a few times on Max’s stomach to make her stop.

To no avail. “All alone, I was. Oh, woe is me. In pain that only a cute girl could soothe, but alas, she was too busy to walk 3 miles to visit her childhood friend” And now she was pouting. All that remained were the tears to really get the crowd going. 

There was no choice to laugh a little at the exaggeration, as Chloe was eager to wheedle her way out of this.   
“Hey, I killed a guy for you!” A chuckle followed.

And at first, when they looked at each other, they saw each other’s friendly smiles. But Max’s was the first one to fade as she looked down, seemingly falling into the mist of her mind. The crickets continued doing their thing, and in any other situation, it would have been comical to have the silence replaced by the chirping. But something told Chloe not to laugh. And neither did she want to when Max spoke.

“How did it feel?” Her voice expressed that she knew it wasn’t a good idea to ask.

“…Killing?” And Chloe’s voice had to get through the barriers of her collected teeth to be heard.

“Yeah…” It could be felt how Max tensed and adjusted herself and when Chloe didn’t answer in the first few seconds, she took another breath.  
“Actually, never mind. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to”

Chloe took a second, looking at the stars above her that were so barren.  
“Am I ashamed of what I did?” Feeling a prickle on her neck, Chloe lifted herself up and freed Max of the weight in her lap.  
“I think you know the answer to that” Her head weighed her down with the memories that could only be recalled with detailed images.    
“You probably feel a little ashamed for me” Images that would overshadow everything else she wanted to remember.  
“It felt…” A hesitation to consider a way to describe a feeling otherwise intangible as she got on her feet.  
“It felt disgusting” Another prickle making her close her eyes to blind herself of the world that became a bubble around her.  
“Like his dying breath latched onto my skin and just… swallowed me up” But as her words were heard by herself, she could still see everything. Her closed eyelids did not do a thing to cover up the world around her.  
“It’s like something just snaps out of place in your brain. Your whole view of the world changes, because you learn that… that you can actually kill a person” To keep herself from floating away, Chloe began taking slow steps towards the closest patch of trees, having opened her eyes.   
“And that thought is fucking terrifying” Her body shook with her mind, making her walk a little faster.

Her heart throbbed lightly in her chest, the trees in a row giving her a claustrophobic feeling of being stuck. The night sky was her roof that only seemed to be getting closer, and she kept repeating the word “calm” in her head to keep her grounded.

Max had found no words that she could respond with, and instead had gotten up as well and followed Chloe towards the trees.

The air presented its warmth as Chloe placed her hands on the trunk of one tree and tried to push. But it was sturdy. Unmoving.

“You okay?” Max eventually asked when she was close enough to be heard.  
She had her arms crossed, apparently not feeling the warmth as Chloe did.

“If I tried hard enough… long enough…” Chloe’s words were wrapped in timorousness.  
“Do you think I would be able to move it?” She continued pushing, her feet sliding on the grass.

It took a second for Max to answer– not sure if she should- before arching her back as if she had an itch she couldn’t reach.  
“No. I can’t imagine you could” In the stretch of nervousness, she had overthought her answer.  
“But that’s okay, right?” Her foot kept in place, giving Chloe the space it looked like she needed.

However, it seemed the simple answer was enough for Chloe to stop trying. She knew she couldn’t and even the confirmation was inconsequential. It was more about the subject than the ultimate result.  
“Yeah, sure… would just be nice to have a little more breathing room”

“You feel trapped?”

Chloe could sense that Max felt unsure of herself. Unsure of where to stand. Unsure of what to say.

“Of course. I mean, not right now. Not with you” She turned to face Max to perhaps signal herself. To show her expression so she didn’t have to guess.  
“But it’s more than that…” Curling her thumb in her hand to show agitation.  
“They’re always… checking up on me. Making sure I take my medication as if I was some kind of psychopath” And she was agitated. Comfortable enough to open up about it, but still finding it difficult to talk about.

“Yeah, that… sucks. But do you take the medication?” Making a move she thought to be daring, Max walked to the other side of the tree and looked up at the leaves, perhaps wondering if she could jump and grab one.

Noticing this, Chloe did the same. It looked doable. “I did at first, but it’s just… what’s the point? It wears me down to a nub” She steadied her feet while continuing to speak her mind.  
“I become emotionless and tired. Like a fucking brain-dead vegetable waiting for someone to pull the plug of a mentally absent life” The last words got louder as air was pushed out of her chest when she jumped up and reached out for one of the leaves, but only grazing one with her finger.

Max gave a small smirk as if to say ‘close one’.

“Might as well find comfort in how I feel and think, before I become addicted to getting an ‘out’”  
Chloe shook her head, having an easier time to express herself while being otherwise focused on the world around her.  
“Give it a try” She eventually said with a quiet voice, noticing Max still contemplating if she could jump high enough. She could tell she was still listening to every word, despite this.

And so she jumped. And it took some time for her to come down again. Almost as if she was floating above the ground, hanging in the air for just a second too long, giving her the height she needed to get a leaf between her fingers, holding it tightly, and landing back down. One leaf richer.

“Savage” Chloe returned the crooked smile.  
“But yeah… Look at what happened to Nathan” She returned to the conversation at hand, still having more to say, but feeling glad that it didn’t feel as if she was in a psychiatrists’ office. Sitting on a chair. Talking about her thoughts to a person that just wanted to place a diagnosis and get a paycheck.  
“And I’ve told you about Rachel’s mom” Now it was her turn to try the leaf thing again. So she steadied her feet once more.  
“She became so addicted to escape reality’s fears and worries that she was pushed away from her loved ones”  
She distinctly remembered the conversation she had with that woman. How it frightened her to the core. Like electricity running down her spine, now being recreated.  
“I don’t want that. No fucking way” She nearly yelled when she jumped up, depending on her legs to give everything they had, and she reached up, felt a leaf grazing her finger and she tried her best get a grip on it, but she was already falling back down. Back onto the ground with no leaf to show for her troubles.

“Almost” Max whispered to hopefully boost Chloe’s confidence.  
  
“It’s too tall…” But there was none to be given as Chloe shook her head, apparently giving up.  
  
Max decided to get back on track, however.  
“But those meds… they are some doctors have prescribed to you, right? Can’t they help you in the long run?” She formed it as a question as to not sound dogmatic when it just as easily could have been a statement.

Watching Max swirling the leaf around her fingers, Chloe had an easy answer, having debated this with herself for a long time.  
“I will help myself” And it felt nice having the opportunity to say it to someone who truly listened. Someone who cared.  
“They think all this shit I went through fucked me up, so they give me meds so I can function in society because they don’t want a fucked up person working at Starbucks or something. Taking coffee orders and/or maybe stabbing the customer”  
Chloe made stabbing motions with her right hand while her face pulled itself into a murderous expression, making Max subdue a snicker.  
“But that’s not how it is” She spoke with a sigh, seeing the girl’s mild amusement and followed the leaf that fell from her hand when she let go.  
“It has given me a direction. A purpose” So now she had two free hands to wave around in the air, showing what she was about the say was more serious.  
“I want to help the world become a place where I was the end of suffering” She had an open palm in the air, though Max decided to focus entirely on her face while listening closely.  
“The burden of being alive at the cost of Arcadia Bay brought me to my knees, but… I’m fucking standing now” There was a small fire in her eyes that only grew with every word. A fire Max had only seen when discussing the best percentage of cocoa in chocolate. Which was, without a doubt to Chloe, 30 percent, and anyone who thought otherwise should be exiled.  
But now… the flame emerged from somewhere else.  
“And rather than crying about it, I can… I don’t know, make up for it, I guess” All that guilt had seemingly manifested into resolution. An obstacle turned into a stepping stone.  
“Volunteer for some jobs that actually make a difference. Talk to people who feel the way I did” And her the way she spoke, proved that she had shown it some thought, although there were no specific ideas. But it was a great start. Enough to make Max forget to blink.  
“Just help people in need like all the ogres on Youtube does, just without the fucking vlogging”  
It was a reticent smile that weighed her down, making her look at the thrown leaf on the ground, not moving despite the gentle breeze.  
“And I will be happy with that” As she spoke, Max came to. Sensing what Chloe desired.  
“I will be a person that I like” She was still looking down, not noticing that Max had begun taking steps towards Chloe.  
“A person that my parents will be proud of” And it took her by surprise, as when she finished her sentence, she felt herself being drawn into the embrace of a hug. Hands being placed upon her back, a chest against hers, and a head on her shoulder.

“I’m happy that you feel that way, Chloe, but…” Her voice was stifled, uncertain if it was because her words were muffled by Chloe’s shoulder or if she was trying not to weep.  
“Focus on yourself for now” The warmth of the hug seemed absent, but the comfort of having Max in her arms made her muscles relax as she listened while gently placing her hands around Max’s waist, her hands grazing the bottom of her leather jacket.    
“I know what you are saying, and I feel the same way… but neither of us are okay right now” The somber words, and the way she said them so casually, stung and made Chloe’s heart thump in her chest.  
“But you’ll get there” She assured, with little consolation to the now uneasy girl.

Without breaking the hug entirely, Chloe pulled her upper body slightly back in order to look Max in the eyes. “What about you?” She almost halted the question, uncertain if she should have asked for her own good.

Max looked back at Chloe, her eyes wavering across her face. “Do you really need an answer for that?”  
Nothing moved but those blue eyes.  
“We can work on the things that can be fixed…” A small gap in her lips when she paused.  
“So why focus on things we know that will never be fixed?” And she wished the pause didn’t end. That it hadn’t been a pause, but merely an end.

Chloe lifted her hands from up her waist and to the top of her back and was determined not to dither when she responded.  
“Because everything can be fixed,” She said confidently with a focused stare.  
“And I need to believe that” Reminding herself of everything she still had to fight for in the world.  
“I need you to believe that” Her very expression communicated her solemnity better than her words could, and it stopped Max in her tracks for a few seconds until she eventually crossed it off and faltered.

“Let’s head inside the tent” Her response was pensive, her eyes breaking the connection as she took her hands off Chloe and turned to walk back.

But it wasn’t how the conversation should end. Not with uncertainty once again.

“Wait…” With the whisper, she held onto Max and made her look back. Giving her another chance.

But her heart was nervous. Her mind trying to win an argument with itself. It all came back to her and despite making her oscillate between states, it was nice knowing that one part of her had remained the same through everything.

Although Max had turned her head to look at Chloe, or maybe because she had, there was still a wall that needed to be broken. She inched closer to the girl, analyzing every little motion of her face on the way.

“Is it okay…?” She then halted. Still a good distance apart as she was too nervous to continue without confirmation.  
“I mean… it’s been a while” As she spoke, Max’s face was clear, but also showing that she acknowledged what Chloe was trying to do.  
“I don’t even know if you’ve gotten a new girlfriend since we last met” She smiled half-jokingly, but realized that her own question actually made her thoughts wander to new and uncomfortable places.

Max created a pause that unknowingly to her, was like a few seconds of torture to Chloe until she finally spoke.  
“There were some pretty nurses in the hospital, I’ll admit, but they ain’t got nothing compared to you” With a voice stretched in gooey honey charm, Max placed her hand on Chloe’s arm and moved in closer with a subtle smile.

But Chloe just couldn’t resist.  
“So you’re saying you only like me because of my looks. Superficial, much?” It was simply her nature to know when not to joke and then do exactly that. She couldn’t be blamed.

And although Max gently shook her head in amusement, with the next words that should be the final ones.  
“Shut up and kiss me”

Chloe presented a crooked smile “What a line,” she said under her breath, but the smile quickly disappeared when she grabbed Max by the waist and placed her lips upon her, instantly feeling Max kissing back.  
The recognizable fervor had sparked after being lacking for so long. Able to grow in the absence of peril and quiet winds. Their connected lips no longer represented nothing but the kiss itself.  
Max’s lips were softer than she had ever felt before, more life to every part of her body that desired to mingle together with the girl before her.  
The kiss was held, then separated, then back again with a slight rotation of their heads as to not miss a single spot on their wanting lips.  
Max took a small step forward to reach her left arm around Chloe’s waist and place it gently on the back, while Chloe herself moved her hands slightly down to Max’s hips.  
The feeling of going thirsty for so long, and then finally having access to water overwhelmed her, and she had to coerce herself to not let her desires loose.  
But with that being said, Max was the one to eventually poke her tongue out slightly amidst their kiss, which only aided fuel the passion.  
Her heart was pounding, but she had to remind herself that it was not because of fear this time. This time, it was because of her exhilaration. And although it did bring a warmth to the core of her body, it, unfortunately, wasn’t quite enough to completely ignore the cold wind that had meddled in, and maybe her hands shook because of excitement, and not the cold, but it was a menace nonetheless.  
Silently, they both agreed to slow the kiss down until the pauses had become long enough to utter out a single word.

“Tent?” Chloe blurted out, blinking a few times, seeming comically bewildered.   
“I mean… should we go into the tent?” She elaborated a little further to provide some sort of context, and Max, giggling because she knew Chloe wanted her to, nodded, moving her blushing cheeks up and down like two bright tomatoes on a trampoline. However, Max was quick to grab Chloe’s hand and then proceed to drag her along the grassy field, away from the sturdy trees.

Chloe jauntily followed along, despite nearly tripping, but seeing Max’s beaming face brought back a happy memory.  
“You know how I said, like all that time back, when I suggested we should go camping…” Chloe let out while continuing to walk the short distance while cradling her friend’s soft hand.  
“I totally wanted to bring your parents with us” She shook her head lightly, seeing Max smile when she was trying to recall the same thing.  
“But right now, I’m pretty stoked about the privacy” In a manner she convinced herself was joking, she looked Max up and down from behind when their hands let go so she could unzip the tent.  
Which, to the great joy of Chloe, she had to bend over to do so.

“It’s funny, I was actually thinking about asking them just after you suggested it. They could have used a good night out with your notorious, crude entertainment” Her words were almost swallowed up by the obnoxious ZZZIIP that Max made when opening the tent. A sound that could wake up the whole forest if you had to go out to pee during the night.

“Oh, really? Why didn’t you?” Chloe questioned with her arms crossed, watching Max go uuuup in a circular fashion, and back dooown, finally having moved the flap.

Without even looking back, and without an immediate response, Max crawled inside the tent with their two sleeping bags next to each other and crumbled up pieces of wrappers from candy bars, next to Chloe’s grey bag.

“…Never really got the chance” Max eventually uttered when Chloe followed along, immediately relieved by the absence of the cold wind, but the feeling was overshadowed by an uncanny presentiment that made her keep quiet. Not even wanting to think about a response.  

So instead, as she got inside the tent with the yellow tint from the fabric she closed the flap behind her and laid down on top of her sleeping bag next to Max.

“Besides, they probably wouldn’t have wanted to either way, after everything…” Max eventually had to be the one continuing to speak while shuffling a little around.  

And that was an implying statement if there ever was one. As if a middle finger was a cryptic message.  
  
“They still hate me?” Not wanting the spark to be completely watered away in the suddenly solemn conversation, Chloe placed herself on the side and reached a hand over to place on Max’s waist.  
  
And in return, Max placed her palm onto that hand and began gently caressing it.  
“Not hate. Just… they don’t understand what happened. Give em’ time” 

Chloe quietly nodded, looking at Max’s hand on top of hers, focusing on the touch.  
“All the time they need” She sighed before Max squirmed a little to the side, reaching her other hand down next to her shoulder and grabbing something.

“Mind if I move your bible?” Max asked, apparently not liking the hard cover poking her shoulder every time she moved.

“Go nuts. Just place it in the corner, I guess” The response from Chloe was casual with a slight shrug to go along. And Max obliged and stretched her arm to place the book a distance away from her.  
“Ehm, but they don’t mind you being out here camping with me?” Chloe got back to the conversation at hand as she had now turned her attention to Max’s face, who looked a little dazed by the question.

“…” Even taking a considerate amount of time to answer.  
“No, Chloe” She eventually responded, looking back at Chloe to convey something she could not understand.  
“They don’t mind” It was weird. Although her words were direct, a morose feeling took root in Chloe’s chest and blossomed. 

She stopped herself from asking any further questions regarding the subject, getting the sensation of something trying to drag her away, and instead warded off the nip and shuffled closer to Max, placing her body up against her and embracing the physical feeling instead. Her body was like a gentle wave with the soothing sounds of her soft breathing, and when Chloe closed her eyes she could almost convince herself that she was on a small boat in the sea. Driven aimlessly by the wind, but not scared of anything, only content with having this girl to cuddle up next to. Just enjoying the presence until another escapade would befall them. Whether it’d be that Max would get into university, become a professional photographer, or travel the world. Maybe Chloe would get a job, become an artist or something, all while helping people around her. Or maybe they would not be able to do any of that. And maybe that would be okay too. They were here. Out floating in the sea together. If everything else could be whittled out, then, with her, it would be perfect.

Without opening her eyes, Chloe pushed herself a little up to plant a soft kiss on the side of Max’s neck before nuzzling into her hair, apparently waking Max from her own dreamy state, which she very much would like to be involved in.

“You thinking about something?” Chloe asked to get a peek into what her brain could have been thinking about in the tranquil space.

“Well, I am actually thinking about… whether you’ve heard some stuff about Ted?” Almost as a reaction to the name, Chloe looked down and saw Max holding a hand to her stomach. The spot where she had been shot, supposedly leaving a small wound that Chloe had yet to see.

“Oh yeah, he- eh” She struggled to keep her feelings in check.  
“He’s in prison” And to do so, she moved one hand up to Max’s head to play with a few strains of hair, knowing that there were more questions to come and preparing herself.

“And you’re okay with that?” Feeling Chloe’s hand on her head, Max lifted her head slightly to make the playground more accessible to her friend.

“What’cha mean?” As she asked, she kept herself from thinking too much about Max’s questions, and instead lifted strains of her hair with her index finger to then watch it fall back into place.

“You dislike the prison system, right?” There was nothing to read from her voice, but it had seemed her eyes had caught something above her.  
“You believe that it’s a system that’s based on people’s desire to see people they hate, suffer, right?” The ongoing questions had become more difficult to understand. It was not particularly what Chloe had wanted to talk about, but before she could answer, Max elaborated.  
“That isolating people and punishing them won’t benefit anyone, and only serves the purpose of fueling people’s justice-belief. That often people who commit crimes are either driven to it, or has mental issues, and as such, should be placed in a safe space and get professional help, so they can eventually continue living a normal life. Justice is not fucking up a person's life because they fucked up someone else’s” She spoke almost as if she was quoting Chloe.  
“That’s revenge” And that very word halted Chloe’s actions.  
“Isn’t that what you think?”

The sleeping bag she was lying on suddenly felt cold as she reached a point where she could no longer control the mental images popping up in her head. She knew her heart was beating faster but did her best to ignore it as she took a breath.

“Alright, I am no longer hungry” She nodded to note how she had confirmed it with herself.

Not quite sure about the seemingly non-contextual response, Max let out a “Huh?” with a turn of her head. 

“With all those words you’re putting in my mouth, I am plenty full” Although spoken with a dour tone, Chloe lightly traced a finger across her friend’s cheek to highlight that she was only kidding.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that” Which she seemingly didn’t catch on to as she let out these apologetic words.

“I’m just fucking with ya’” Chloe smiled with a puff of air escaping her nose while continuing to brush the side of Max’s freckled cheeks.  
“But I don’t know… I mean, I did believe that, and… some part of me still does” Her hesitancy brought upon a few pauses, but seeing Max close her eyes by the comfort of her touch calmed her to some extent.  
“But Ted… he’s probably stuck in there, overwhelmed with guilt and regret, making him go mental” Yet, as she said this, she couldn’t help but to feel as if something was rising in her chest.  
“Just wishing I…” She stopped herself.  
“Just wishing he had done something different” And she was unsure as to why a pressure began appearing behind her eyes.

“And you think he deserves that?” Her voice was low, her body so steady with rhythmic breaths as if she was sleeping.  
  
The silence of nature no longer sat well with Chloe, and the tent only drew closer. Becoming smaller in size as she saw the inside of a cell in her mind without even closing her eyes. Because she did not want to blink.

“I don’t know… I-“ When her voice broke, she knew she didn’t have a choice, and when her eyes closed for a second, a tear found its way down the side of her face. She kept telling herself that she didn’t know why talking about the person she hated the most, made her so dejected.  
“Even though he was driven into it… he clearly didn’t want to do it, but he…” Her vision of Max became blurry with her wet eyes and she began blinking rapidly a few times to get the tears out as she didn’t want to lose her in the blur.  
“He still did it” Her breaths had turned sharp, unsure if Max had noticed her weeping.   
“He shot you” And when she blinked again, she held her eyes closed for a while. Hearing the sounds of two guns being fired simultaneously. The one for Max. The one for Ethan. Both of them equally loud in her head.

One big bang.

And she heard it again. Bang.

And again. Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

 

“It was scary” She quickly opened her eyes to the sound of Max’s voice, for a moment only seeing a wall of darkness until her eyes adjusted and the colors faded in.  
“I didn’t think the pain would ever go away. Like placing a scorching iron pipe at my stomach and keeping it there” Max placed her palm on her stomach and pressed lightly down.  
“It felt like it lasted for hours… I could feel that something inside of me had burst” When her voice got more aggressive, the pressure got greater and Chloe realized that she was pressing down on her wound, making her reach an arm around and grabbing the hand holding it in place to keep her from hurting herself as she whispered “It’s okay,” making Max take a breath and turn her head to look at Chloe.  
“I just remember seeing your face and it freaking me out even more” Her eyes were focused on Chloe but stuck in the past.  
“Thinking ‘this will be the last time… this is it. The last time I will ever see that face. And it’s looking at me with horror’” If her thoughts were in the crater of disquiet was uncertain as her expression only told Chloe to stay still.  
“Then the pain went away” Her voice was low but animated enough to drag her upwards, making her sit up and tugging a little on her black scarf until it came off.  

Reminded of the past, Chloe scrolled through the events in her mind. Her distanced eyes jogging the memory of the sadness she walked into with uncertainty if she had gotten out or simply settling down. For she could remember one sentence when Max was at her worst. How she told her with such a careworn voice that she tried to find comfort in the suffering. And not being scared of the darkness was a frightening thing. The only thing that could be worse, was not even knowing that it was dark.  
  
“I’m so happy that you’re here now” Chloe eventually dragged herself up as well, using one of Max’s genuflected knees for support.  
As she got up with her legs stretched and her palms on the ground she convinced herself that she was ready.  
“But I want you to be happy too” She looked straight ahead at nothing but the zipped up hole of the tent, being the only thing separating them from the outside world. Just enough to make this small space their own.

“Hmm… what do you mean?” Max questioned after doing some considerations in her head.

“You know how… Ethan said that I wanted us to be together so bad, because if we weren’t, then I might feel that sacrificing Arcadia Bay would have been for nothing?” Petals of anxiousness slid across her bare skin. Although they were just talking, the past had proven to be just as pertinent as the future and now.

“Yeah?” She responded quickly to keep herself from searching for a reason or outcome of what Chloe had brought up.

“That wasn’t true” Her head shook to ward off the insecurities that no longer held a place in her head.  
“I want us to be together because I love you. Not because of the fucking circumstances. Not because of guilt. Not because I have to” Contrary to what had been previously been building inside of her, now, with a stare straight-ahead that found no focus, she felt every emotion leaving her for a moment to allow her words to be unswayed and honest.   
“And it broke my heart when you said that you didn’t love me…” She had to pause, had to mull over how she suddenly got here. In the dirt of one of the most painful moments of her life, trying to dig it back up. But she wanted to see it.

“Chloe, I’m…” Max vacillatingly spoke up, undoubtedly reaching for an explanation or apology, but it was not what Chloe was getting at. She had only one question to ask to free herself from the one remaining chunk of smudged pain. So she broke in.

“When Ethan said all that about forcing myself to love you, it actually scared me, because what if it was true? That feeling of doubt fucked with me so hard” And now it had begun building again. The moment, the question, the answer she was trying to frame. She couldn’t keep herself from trembling, but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t ready.  
“And I don’t want you to feel that way too…” And now Max seemed as if she understood as well. Just waiting for the question that the answer on her tongue was prepared to soothe.  
“I don’t want you to pretend” Her chest was expanding, for she had appreciated the uncertainty.  
“Not for my sake or your own. Or anybody else’s” She had appreciated the unknown, for at least then, she could find comfort in her own predictions.  
“Max…” But she was ready to look past the mirror and touch the skin and bone of candor.   
“Do you actually love me?” Her heart was only allowed to make a single thump in her chest before Max answered because she didn’t even wait for the question.

“I do, Chloe” She spoke with certainty, but it was that very certainty that made Chloe shake her head. Clearly, Max had thought about it. Agreed with herself that if this very question was in her ears, her mouth would instinctively respond. But for that very reason, the certainty was not convincing.

Chloe held her arms close to her body, requiring the consideration. The doubt. Not the automated response. “I can take it... I won’t get mad, and I won’t break. Living a life with one-sided love would be the only thing that truly could” The very same doubts she had been struggling through but overcame.  
“Be honest, please” Placing her in this very place, prepared to see which way life would lead her.  
“I won’t stop loving you, but I’ll… I’ll let you go. If that’s what you want” And she realized that very sentence meant so much more than just overcoming waned love. 

“I-“ Chloe looked up to see Max stopping herself. Contemplating to go off-script and perhaps daring herself to consider Chloe’s perilous words. Or maybe she was constructing a lie that Chloe would believe. She couldn’t tell.  
“I know you want the truth” A returned glance at Chloe and an earnest voice.  
“So here it is” And that glance felt like a warm beam entering her body and touching the very bottom of her spine. It was not even a glance. It was an intense stare, attempting to prove the sincerity of her words.   
“I know dealing with everything that happened is painful and exhausting, and it may have changed a lot of things for both of us, but… with all my heart” She held it. Did not waver for a single second. Uncertain if she was staring at her, or through her…  
“I love you, Chloe” But the words were certain.

Chloe waited for a second. Kept looking at Max, slowly nodding to herself. Unsure what she was thinking. Unsure if she should think.  
She could only remind herself of who this person was. Her best friend. Although she could never know for certain what that girl truly felt, she knew more than anything what she, herself, felt.

Trust.

“Okay” There shouldn’t be anything more to it than that.  
“I believe you,” She noticed how her face pulled her lips into a guarded smile, taking those words and keeping them locked away, and like a counterweight, it lifted her spirits and granted her some much-needed energy on top of the unintended seriousness of the topic.

It was nice to see Max smile as well, and she believed that smile to be sincere. Now all the nerves were gone, only the adrenaline remaining. In fear of ruining this moment somehow by bringing up another grim topic, or beginning to quote Edgar Allen Poe to really set the mood, Chloe slapped herself on the thighs and got up. 

“Man, I need to get some air” Her head hit the top of the tent lightly to truly verify how cramped they actually were.  
“You wanna come?” She ran a hand through her bangs to furtively check if she was sweating.

Taking a breath and falling back on the support of her hands, Max kept her smile and observed Chloe standing before her.  
“Nah, I’ll hang back. You go, though” It could be sensed in her voice how she was beginning to get tired as she turned to the side and began snuggling her sleeping bag.

“Ehm…” Leading her hand behind her ear and onto her neck, Chloe nodded slowly as she saw the black scarf Max had placed beside her.    
“Okay, yeah” And the faintly downhearted voice partly grabbed Max’s attention.  
“I’ll probably just take a small walk then. Be back in ten” Fully aware, Chloe removed her hand from her neck and used it to awkwardly wave before turning around and unzipping the flap of the tent.

“I’ll miss you” A sweet little voice was heard just as Chloe had opened the exit to the outside world, and she couldn’t help but to force her smile down.  
  
“God, you’re so clingy” She gave off a gentle chuckle, but when she felt something on her cheek she realized that the chuckle was actually a sob hidden behind a smile.

“What? You won’t miss me?” Although certain that Max was pulling off her infamous puppy eyes with that baby voice of hers that could always melt Chloe’s heart, she couldn’t shake the feeling that had suddenly overwhelmed her. 

“…” And when she looked back, she knew why she was so close to being brought to her knees.  
“I already do” But as she kept her footing along with her a smile that led a tear to the side of her face.  
“I know this is stupid, but…” The shaky breath she took in an attempt to calm herself, prompted her to turn her head and look over the horizon. The vast and empty space, stretching for unimaginable lengths.  
“You’ll wait for me right?” Yet, it still felt as if there was an end to it all. Like being inside a bubble and touching the edge, making it burst with a quiet pop. And then the bubble would be no more.

“Not a lot of places for me to go” But despite her place in this fragile bubble, Max’s voice was still so calm, just as Chloe remembered it. Just as how she would always remember it.

“I guess not” So in this moment, Chloe promised herself to be calm as well. To be happy with simply being able to look at the beautiful world she was inside of.

“Of course I’ll wait for you” Her voice was so close to her heart, no matter the distance. It would always be heard so clearly.  
“I always will. No matter for how long” And it would always be appreciated beyond words.

“Thanks, Max” All she could give to show her gratitude of this, was the lasting smile on her lips. Telling Max– telling the world that she was okay. Looking down, she saw the unfinished word scribbled into the ground, and so, with the heel of her foot, she decided to finish it. Adding an “I” and a “C”. 

“Is that the new form of walking? What was it called?...” With Max’s soothing voice in her ear, she added an “E”.   
“Oh, right. Standing still” And her sarcastic remark forced a titter of from Chloe who, after a brief pause, added a question mark at the end, then looked at it for a second. Felt her heart being in so peacefully in her chest. Then looked back up over the horizon at all the dots of light in the night sky.

“Just looking at the stars a bit” That beating heart reminded her of everything and everyone she held dear. Everyone she loved.

“Why? The stars spell out my name again?”

And the love for her mom, her dad, her granddad, and Max…

“Yeah…” that love was greater than anything.  
“I think they do”  
  
**The end.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story. It ended up being quite long, so I sincerely appreciate that you would spend so much of your time reading through the whole thing. 
> 
> If you have any comments or thoughts you’d like to share, feel free to write them down below, and I will be happy to read and respond to everything. Also, if you did like the story, you can give it a “kudos”, but that’s up to you. It would also be hugely appreciated if you shared this story somewhere but I realize that it's a lot to ask, and you having read this story is more than enough. 
> 
> Now that I am (mostly) done writing this story, I will begin writing original stories over at “https://www.wattpad.com/user/MA_Starling”, so if you would like to read any future stories I may write, you can follow me there. At this time of writing, I haven’t written anything just yet, but I have plenty of ideas.  
> Furthermore, if you would like updates on the things I am up to, you can follow me on Tumblr or Twitter. My username is “Workard” both places. I do not update frequently, but that may change. 
> 
> I do plan to go over this whole story and do a thorough grammar check and fix any mistakes I will find. On top of this, there’s a chance that I will re-write a few particular scenes. Nothing that drastically changes what actually happens, just a few details I wish to improve.  
> Once again, thank you all very much for reading and a big thanks to those who have commented throughout. I’ve had a blast reading and responding to all that I could. You’ve all been very kind. 
> 
> Story update (3/21/18):  
> I've updated several chapters. Either adding a scene or editing a few details for various reasons.  
> The chapters that have been updated are:  
> Chapter 6. (Max has now written more in her notebook because one of you sneaky commenters caught a continuity error.)  
> Chapter 7. (Edited the kissing scene to make it cuter.)  
> Chapter 15. (Added a makeup scene. Why? I'll never tell. Also edited the over-dramatic dialogue at the end.)  
> Chapter 18. (Changed some of Ethan's dialogue.)  
> Chapter 42. (Changed how Max describes the items in her room.)  
> Chapter 43. (Made the confusing scene even more confusing.)  
> Chapter 46. (Put more focus on how shooting a gun literally right next to your head, should hurt your ears a little more.)  
> Chapter 53. (Added and edited a few details.) 
> 
> Are these updates worth reading the entire story again, you ask?  
> Of course they are. Give me the views. Read it 5 times. Write comments. Give me money. 
> 
> Have a nice day!


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